Darcy took a deep breath before knocking on the door to the house of which he was told Elizabeth was inside. He was beyond nervous, and honestly he was fighting a feeling of guilt as he made his way with the maid to the room where Elizabeth was. He had never thought he would love again, let alone this soon after his wife's passing.

"Forgive me. I hope you are feeling better." Darcy began once he was shown into the room.

"I am, thank you. Will you not sit down?" Elizabeth asked before moving to take a seat herself, after a moment of pacing Darcy followed suit. Yet, he only sat for a moment before nervously standing to pace again.

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do! My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. In declaring myself thus I'm fully aware that I will be going expressly against the wishes of my family, my friends, and may I not add that I hate myself that I have allowed myself to feel such things again. The relative situation of our families is such that any alliance between us must be regarded as a highly reprehensible connection. Indeed, as a rational man I cannot but regard it as such myself, but it cannot be helped. Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance, I have come to feel for you… A passionate admiration and regard, which despite my struggles, has overcome every rational objection or feeling of guilt. I beg you, most fervently, to relieve my suffering, and consent to be my wife."

"In such cases as these, I believe the established mode is to express a sense of obligation. But I cannot. I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I'm sorry to cause pain to anyone, but it was most unconsciously done, and I hope will be of short duration." Elizabeth replied, she herself trying to hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall for hours.

"And this is all the reply I am to expect? I might wonder why, with so little effort at civility, I am rejected."

"And I might wonder why, with so evident a desire to offend and insult me, you chose to tell me that you hate yourself for liking me. Was this not some excuse for incivility if I was uncivil? I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. Do you think any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who has been the means of ruining the happiness of a most beloved sister? Can you deny that you have done it?"

"I have no wish to deny it. I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister, and I rejoice in my success. Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself."

"But it is not merely that on which my dislike of you is founded. Long before it had taken place, my dislike of you was decided when I heard Mr. Wickham's story of your dealings with him. How can you defend yourself on that subject?"

"You take an eager interest in that gentlemen's concerns."

"Who that knows of his misfortunes, can help feeling an interest in him?"

"His misfortunes! Yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed!"

"And of your infliction! You have reduced him to his present state of poverty, and yet you can treat his misfortunes with contempt and ridicule!" Elizabeth's words made Darcy pause for a second. He almost wanted to tell her in this exact moment of the truth, and yet, it wasn't the right time. He wanted her to know that the lies she had heard were just that, lies. Yet, instead he spoke again,

"And this is your opinion of me? My faults by this calculation are heavy indeed. Perhaps these offenses might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by the honest confession of the scruples which have long prevented my forming any serious design on you. Had I concealed my struggles and flattered you. But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related. They were natural and just. Did you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? To congratulate myself on the hope of relations whose condition in life is so decidedly below my own?"

"You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy. The mode of your declaration merely spared me any concern I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner. You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it. From the very beginning, your manners impressed me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others. I had not known you a month before I felt you were the last man in the world whom I could ever marry."

"You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings and now have only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Please forgive me for having taken up your time and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness." With that Darcy left.

He rode quickly back to his aunt's property before retiring directly to his chambers. He longed for home, the feeling of wrapping his children in a hug. He never quite remembered why he went on so many business trips and stayed so far away, and yet, he knew the pain of returning would be the same. To live in the house he had shared with his wife without her was a pain he never quickly forgot. It was a predicament that he lived with on a daily basis, the want to be with his children fighting over the want to be away where he could pretend that Rachel had not passed so early in life. Yet, he knew that he would not be happy away from home for much longer. He also knew that his children desperately needed a mother. So he settled on writing out the truth to give to Elizabeth, starting with that of Mr. Wickham before writing about his decision regarding Jane and Bingley. Finally, taking a deep breath he grabbed his pen once more and began to write concerning why he was so against falling in love again.

Concerning my aforementioned uncertainty and hate of my falling in love with you I have only one thing to say. When I was but twenty I traveled very little and therefore my mother insisted on hosting balls to keep me occupied. At one such ball I met a beautiful woman named Rachel, her smile lit up rooms and her love for dancing entrapped me. I quickly fell in love with her and asked her to marry me, while our wedding was delayed for quite some time, we did marry. We had two children, a girl, Victoria, and a boy, Fitzwilliam. We were happy and I stayed at home as much as possible. They were my world, and while I tried my best to keep business in town as short as possible I was drawn away quite frequently after my son's birth. When he was two, though, I found more time at home. When my wife fell ill, I thought it insignificant. It was, my doctor's definition of no concern. When it was discovered the illness came from a pregnancy the doctors thought it a good sign rather than a bad one. Yet, Rachel, passed with our child during birth and I was left with a four year old and a two year old. I stayed in, locked up with them trying to raise them alone for three years, but recently Bingley pulled me out and forced me to rejoin society, claiming that I needed to find my now 7 and 5 year old, a mother to raise them. So I followed, leaving my children in the care of my sister and their caretaker. I never wanted to love again, I never thought that I would. I wish I could say that I kept to that, and yet when I met you I found that once more. I cannot apologize for hating myself for loving you, and I cannot apologize for not dancing with you beforehand. Rachel loved to dance, and I find that the activity was one I have hated since her death, and yet once again with you it all changed. I hope that these accounts have explained my standing, and while I know that my reactions have been less than gentlemanly, I had never planned on being liked by anyone ever again. I hope one day we may be at least agreeable acquaintances and that you will forgive me my harshness.

Sincerely,

Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Darcy carefully folded the letters and placed his seal upon them before leaning back in his chair. He tried his best to calm his nerves and to breathe. He couldn't believe that this was where he was. When he had met Rachel he thought he had found forever, he never dreamed he would be here again one day, least of all with two children at home who desperately needed a mother or at least him to be there with them. He longed to return to Pemberley, to his children. Yet he knew that his sister and Bingley had been right. He owed his children this, he had to take care of them and that meant returning to society; and now he had found someone he was beginning to love. Yet, the day had been long and trying, and despite trying not to, he longed for Rachel, yet he knew he would never be able to return to her arms.

The next morning Darcy rose with the sun and made his way to the garden he knew Elizabeth walked in during the mornings, in hopes of finding her there. He did not have to wait long upon arrival to the gardens as after a few moments the woman he was looking for came through the trees. She began to turn around almost immediately but Darcy called out,

"Miss Elizabeth. I am not here to talk, I just wished to give you this letter and ask that you do me the honor of reading it. It explains everything, but I do not require a response, this afternoon I will be returning to Pemberley, I have been away too long. Upon my leaving I admit I doubt we will see each other again." Upon his words Elizabeth accepted the letter with a slight reluctance. She curtsied without a word as he bowed and left. She watched him go curiously, she had never known a man to give up so easily. A man his age had to be in need of a wife, and every man she had met that had been so never gave up easily once they found one they liked. Yet, unlike others, it seemed Mr. Darcy understood that there was more to marriage than the want of a wife.

It was his willingness to walk away that gave Elizabeth the ability to even consider reading the letter and after a short moment she sat on a nearby bench and broke the perfect seal. As she read her emotions fluctuated with almost every sentence. She had known that Darcy had been at fault for her sister's unhappiness and it made her sick, but she never would have guessed that Wickham had been lying so. When she made it to the final page her eyes filled with tears, she never would have imagined that he was a widower, she never would have imagined that his uncertainty was pain rather than arrogance.

"He must have truly loved her." Elizabeth spoke into the seemingly empty garden,

"Truly loved who, miss Elizabeth?" Colonel Fitzwilliam asked, coming out from the very trees Darcy had left through,

"Colonel Fitzwilliam, I did not know you were here, I was simply voicing my thoughts."

"Your thoughts on a letter that is written in my cousin's script, he must have told you of Rachel." The Colonel stated, leaning on a nearby tree.

"You knew her?" Elizabeth asked, surprised that the man had not mentioned it before, the Colonel had been how she had learned other things about the mysterious Mr. Darcy, and yet he had never even hinted at the fact that Darcy had been married, or to the fact that he was a father.

"Knew her? Of course, anyone who knew of Darcy at the time knew her. The two were inseparable until after Fitzwilliams birth. I spent most of my time with them at Pemberley until the army called me away. They were the couple of the town, and very well respected in both Derbyshire and London. Rachel and Darcy were the best couple I have ever known, they loved each other in a genuine way that very few couples these days do. They were each other's worlds and the type of couple you thought would be together forever. The entire county was devastated when Rachel died, but no one was devastated like Darcy. I was barely able to get him out of his room for the funeral let alone anything else. He only allowed his children to enter the room and they spent the majority of the day in there with him playing, or napping, or reading. The family was broken and so was the county. I myself still miss her everyday." Colonel Fitzwilliam answered, his face showing the sadness inside.

"So he did truly love her." Elizabeth stated, realizing that the Colonel had answered her question.

"Yes, he loved her more than anything else. He was never the same after her death. Only with you does he even come close."

"Surely that is not true, he has looked on me with contempt since the moment we met."

"I'm sure he has. Yet, I assure you it is not because of why you think. He never shows his true self anymore, he hides it in silence and a lack of joyful activity, which most people seem to interpret as arrogance. With you he tried, and he fought himself every step of the way, because he has come to the realization that he loves you Miss Elizabeth, and he vowed to himself and to me that he would never love again."

"You mean it's because he loves me that he acts that way towards me?"

"Yes, although now he has admitted to himself that he does love you, and therefore I believe his actions towards you will change. May I be truthful with you Miss Elizabeth?"

"Of course Colonel."

"Today my cousin will return to Derbyshire, and I doubt that you will see him again after he does. He is the greatest man I have ever known and the only man that I know to have striven to fix every mistake he has ever made. He is a good man who strives to be better, and he is a good father who loves his children. I doubt you will come across another man like him. If you love him, or could see yourself loving him, do not let him leave today. Bingley barely got him to leave Derbyshire to begin with, and now that he has lost you as well I doubt he ever will again. If you want to know anything else about him, you need to decide quickly. Or I fear you will be forced to make a trip to Derbyshire." the Colonel stated, he knew that it was overstepping his role in society to say such things to her, but he also knew that for his cousin's happiness he would be improper. Darcy deserved to find happiness again, and his children deserved a mother.

"You mean you think I should marry him?" Elizabeth asked the man before her, confusion in her eyes that he was being so open and even improper.

"I think you should take a minute to think about what is true about him, about who he actually is. And if you find yourself realizing that he is the type of man you would marry I believe you should think about the chances of you finding another like him, but no I cannot say that I believe you should just up and marry him. Marriage is not a fickle thing, it's even less so when there are children involved."

"What are his children like? He hadn't mentioned them until now."

"Victoria is a Darcy through and through, she is more like her father and aunt than anyone I have ever seen. It continuously amazes me how much she knows at such a young age. She is either playing the piano forte or reading, and when she does play with other kids she always gives it her all, no matter what she is doing. But she looks like her mother, which is why I think Darcy struggles so to move on. Fitzwilliam on the other hand, acts entirely like his mother. He would never speak a harsh word to anyone, and he always wants to be doing something. Darcy can't keep him in a room for more than ten minutes. Last winter when they hosted the tenant ball, it wasn't ten minutes after the welcome that Fitz had disappeared and Darcy could be found searching for him and collecting his tie and coat from the places he had thrown them. They are wonderful children, and they both think the world of their father." Colonel Fitzwilliam stated, he loved his cousins children endlessly, and missed them greatly and he found that he could not keep the smile off his face when he spoke of them.

"Why does Mr. Darcy stay away then? Why does he not speak of them, if he loves them as you say?" Elizabeth questioned, trying her best to wrap her mind around the man she now knew Darcy to be.

"Miss Elizabeth, he doesn't want to be away, his trip to Netherfield was the first time he left them, but business is constantly trying to pull him to town, and society views him as an eligible man in need of a wife once again and therefore calls him to society, and eventually a man of his place in society must remarry. He has no choice but to leave them, despite the fact that he hates it more than anything. As for why he doesn't speak of them I am not sure, other than the fact that to speak of something one has to think of it, and to think of something you miss more than anything is quite the painful thing."

"I don't think I could do it. To leave them just to fit society's standards. Although I dare say I rarely seem to fit society's standards as I should."

"I think you fit society perfectly. Besides, Darcy does not do it for society, he does very few things for society."

"I think I have learned at least that about him, although I have been wrong about so many things, I was not sure if I was wrong about this as well." Elizabeth replied, they were coming up on her cousin's estate having begun to walk towards it a while ago.

"I do not believe you to be wrong about many things. I only say this, you are wrong about his reasoning behind his actions, you believed it to be pride that causes him to be as he is, when truly it is love. I must bid you farewell, my aunt will be wondering where I am." With that he bowed, and walked back towards Rosings, leaving Elizabeth to her thoughts. She knew that the Colonel was right, if she could see herself with Darcy she had to make a move. She had to decide, if she didn't he would leave and she would most likely never see him again.

"But could I marry him?" She spoke to herself. She wanted to say that she didn't know the answer, that she couldn't decide that quickly. Yet, if she was being honest she thought she knew the answer. it had only been his pride holding her back, and now she knew that his pride didn't even exist. She now knew him to be somber, intelligent, and kind. He was respectable and he had more than enough to provide. She always thought she would marry for love, but she was beginning to see that maybe in this case, commitment would proceed the love. There was more to think about than just herself though, she would be a mother, could she handle it? Could she be a good enough mother to those children? She made a quick decision, and turned back towards Rosings and began to quickly walk towards it. She would be a fine mom, and if she wasn't perfect, she would learn how, and she would grow with them.

Darcy was standing outside of Rosings as the servants loaded up his items, he was ready to be home. To hug his children and spend some time with them. Yet, he didn't want to leave the place where he would see Elizabeth. With his leaving he realized that he would probably never see her again, unless Bingley took his advice and returned to Jane, but even then, he wasn't sure if he would attend the wedding. He knew that within the hour he would be heading back to Derbyshire and it was bittersweet. His cousin had returned to Rosings just moments prior as he had passed him in the entryway and shared a goodbye.

"Mr. Darcy." He turned quickly wondering who could need him so soon before his departure, he wasn't expecting for Elizabeth to be the one calling him,

"Miss Bennet."

"I was wondering if I may speak with you for a moment before you leave?" Elizabeth was trying to keep the shakiness from her voice as the nerves mounted in her mind.

"Of course, shall we walk through the flower garden?" Darcy asked, curious as to what had brought her to speak to him, when just that morning she had almost run to get away from him. Elizabeth only nodded in response walking beside him toward the flower garden that sat next to the manor. They walked for a few minutes in silence, Darcy knew that at this point that carriage would be ready, but he did not want to force Elizabeth to say anything. He knew that the carriage could wait.

"I read your letter." Elizabeth finally spoke, her words unsure as she tried to prepare herself to say what she wanted to say.

"I am glad you were willing to. I'll admit I thought it would take you longer than a morning to be willing to open it."

"Normally, I am afraid that it would, I'll admit I am not fully sure of what made that change this time. I also ran into your cousin in the park."

"Did you? And what did he have to say that would bring you here, for I am sure it was nothing I said that did so." Darcy replied, trying to discover what she had come to speak about.

"He told me many things, most of them about Rachel. I dare to say that I think I would have liked to have known her. Your children sound wonderful as well."

"Indeed, they are the very beat of my heart. As for Rachel, I believe you would have made the best of friends."

"I do hope you plan on introducing me to your children soon, seeing as I plan on one day becoming their mother I believe I should be introduced." Elizabeth replied, deciding in a moment that she was just going to say it.

"Well, yes, if you are planning for that to happen, I would assure you that you would meet them as soon as possible. Although, I was under the impression that I was the last man you would ever marry, and I'm afraid to get them you must take me as well."

"Yes, well things change, and I have come to understand certain things about you that happen to change quite a few things. I regret what I said yesterday, I hate to remember it. For I was wrong on many things, I have come to understand that the pride I thought you held, was not pride at all, but rather grief and pain that many could never understand. That, I have come to realize, solves many of the problems that I have had against you, sir. And therefore, I am aware that my opinions have entirely changed, and I would be beyond lucky to have you as my husband." Elizabeth explained,

"Truly?" Darcy asked, disbelief in his voice. He could not believe that the woman he had fallen for despite how hard he had tried not to, was saying what she seemed to be saying. She had not been wrong, he had been awful to the majority of the town for the entire time he had been in society there. It had not been of pride, but to Darcy that did not excuse the actions he had come to realize he had done.

"Truly. If you'll still have me, that is." Elizabeth replied, she was nervous that he would not accept her. That he would no longer wish to take her as his wife. She had been beyond prejudice in every thought she had ever had of him. She had judged him without knowing him, and was something she couldn't forgive herself for quickly.

"Of course I will still have you, how could I not? You are the only woman I have met since Rachels passing that I have even wished to know, and yet I realize now that I wish for more than that with you. I love you Elizabeth Bennet, and I want to spend the rest of our lives proving that to you." Darcy replied, he smiled at her, his joy breaking through.

"So, when shall I meet my future son and daughter?"

"I shall still begin my return to them today, and then we will come to Netherfield and I shall speak with your father and you may meet them there. I believe that will allow you time to finish your trip, will it not?"

"Yes, I believe it shall. I plan to return home in the morning." Elizabeth replied, the two of them had begun once again to walk the garden, seemingly ignoring the fact that his loaded carriage awaited his departure from the manor. They walked for quite some time, speaking on many different things and getting to know one another better. Eventually though they had circled the entire garden and found themselves once again at the carriage in the drive.

"I shall see you soon then." Darcy nodded, kissing Elizabeth's hand as he bowed.

"Yes, please let me know as soon as you have made it to Netherfield park."

"I shall call on Longbourn before even arriving if that will suit you."

"That will not be necessary, settle in and rest from your journey before calling, a note will suffice I assure you." Elizabeth replied.

"Very well, I shall send a note as soon as we arrive, and I will call the next morning. Then we shall invite your family for dinner rather quickly, seeing as society denies children the ability to call on neighbors." Darcy answered, they bid their farewells with smiles as they knew the time apart would be short. Then once the carriage had pulled away, Elizabeth began her walk back to her cousin's house, unable to keep the smile from her face.

Darcy hated the trip from Rosings to Pemberley, but the fact that he would see his children again made it all worth it. He had not informed anyone of his return and was excited to be able to surprise his children on his arrival. By the time the carriage pulled up the following day he knew that his sister and children would be sitting down for dinner, which would allow him to surprise them all at once.

"Sir, I apologize, we did not know you were arriving today, I will inform the kitchen and the family." The butler greeted, opening the door to the carriage with a surprised smile.

"You may inform the kitchen, but I plan to surprise the family, so they can remain uninformed." Darcy replied, earning a nod from his butler, Darcy quickly ran up the steps and into the house, handing his coat to the maid he straightened his slightly wrinkled clothing before walking towards the dining room. Once he got close he could hear his sister begin to speak,

"Victoria, how were your studies today?" Georgiana asked, her voice calm and kind, Darcy had sent a tutor to the house a few weeks ago to begin teaching Victoria, and from his children's letters he had heard mixed reviews.

"They were okay, aunt Georgiana. I still think that I shouldn't have to learn Latin. Why should anyone know a dead language?"

"Because, my dear, many books are only found in Latin." Georgiana replied graciously.

"I bet dad wouldn't make us take Latin." Fitzwilliam spoke, his mouth slightly full of food.

"Oh yes I would. And do not speak when you have food in your mouth, young man." Darcy answered, stepping into the room, earning a gasp from his sister as his children both ran to him,

"Daddy!" Victoria cried as she ran towards her father jumping into his arms along with her brother.

"Hello my dear ones." Darcy kissed both of their heads as he wrapped them in his arms before returning them to the ground. As he then gave his sister a hug before taking his place at the head of the table while the servers placed food at his spot. His children and sister all returning to the table as well.

"Now, tell me, why so many negative reviews of the tutor?" Darcy asked, glancing at his daughter.

"Victoria, I told you not to write to him about that anymore." Georgiana stated, giving her niece a stern look.

"Why not? What else is there to write to him about? All I do anymore is study."

"Yes, and you shall continue to do so despite your complaints. Education is very important and despite the boring nature of the beginning of it, I am sure you will improve quickly and move to more challenging work." Darcy answered, smiling at his daughter as she huffed in annoyance.

"Yes father." She replied, trying her best to cover the smile that was still on her face from his surprise return.

"Now, Fitzwilliam, tell me, what have you been up to, since your sister is so very busy with her studies?" Darcy asked, moving his attention to his son, who was still stuffing his face with food as young boys tended to do. Fitzwilliam began to answer with the food still in his mouth earning a stern look from his father that stopped him. He then finished chewing and swallowed before beginning again,

"Henry is teaching me to fence like you do!"

"You mean Mr. Willington is teaching you to fence. He is your elder Fitz, and you will show him respect."

"Yes, father."

"Tell me, Fitz, can you hold the swords yet?" Darcy smirked at his son, he was still very young and Darcy remembered the weight of the weapons that Mr. Willington began to teach with well.

"No. But Mr. Willington thinks I'll be able to soon!"

"I'm glad. And how about you Georgiana? Has anything interesting happened in my absence?"

"Other than your wild children keeping me on my toes, no. Nothing of great significance."

"Well, I have some news." Darcy replied to his sister, earning the full attention of everyone at the table.

"Really? What news do you bring?" Georgiana asked, curious as to what her brother was going to say.

"You recall Miss Elizabeth Bennet who I have written to you about."

"Are we going to get to meet her?" Fitzwilliam asked, his excitement bubbling over, his sister barely able to keep hers under control. Darcy had made an effort to keep his children informed on all that had taken place, and when he had decided to propose to Elizabeth he made sure that his children would at least know something of her before he made the decision.

"Yes, but that is not all. I have asked Miss Bennet to be my wife, and to be your new mother. We will leave here in the morning and go to Netherfield to see her there." The moment he had finished Fitzwilliam had jumped up in joy and Victoria had run out of the room in tears. Georgiana begun to jump up to follow after but Darcy also stood,

"Let me. You and Fitz can continue with dinner." Darcy spoke to his sister before following his daughter, knowing exactly where they would end up. In the upper floor of Pemberley there was a gallery of all the masters and mistresses of the manor. This was where he found his daughter sitting on the floor in front of the painting of himself and Rachel. It was a place he had often found his daughter after Rachel's death, it had become a place of comfort for his daughter. Darcy didn't speak, he simply approached his daughter and sat down on the floor next to her. He had had a feeling that this would be her reaction, Victoria remembered her mother in ways that Fitzwilliam never would.

"Don't you love mommy anymore?" Victoria cried, her eyes filled with pain and betrayal as she looked at her father.

"My dear, of course I still love your mother. I don't believe I could ever not. My love for Miss Bennet will never erase that, and she knows that as well as I do. Your mother will always hold a special place in my heart, I will love her until the day that I die, but she is gone, and you need a mother, and so does your brother. This world is not kind to those who do not have mothers, especially little girls who one day will need to enter into society. Victoria, I do not expect you to automatically accept Miss Bennet. And I will never expect you to forget your mother, I simply want you to have someone you can trust that loves you and wants what is best for you. One day you will find that I cannot answer all of your questions in the way that a mother could." Darcy explained, his own eyes beginning to fill with tears that he fought against.

"I don't want another mother, I want mommy."

"I know. I know you do. If I could give you that I would, I would. Yet, no matter how much we wish for it it cannot happen. I cannot bring your mother back, no matter how much I wish that I could. I'm not trying to replace her Tori, Miss Bennet will never be your mother Rachel, but she can be something that I cannot, and she will love you as her own. She will also understand that she is not your mother, I assure you of that."

"Why can't we just stay like we are? Aunt Georgiana takes care of us really well!"

"Aunt Georgiana deserves to be able to have her own life, Tori. She deserves to be able to find her own love and have her own children. She will always love you, but she should not have to raise you, it is not her job. And you know that I cannot do it alone. How about we make a deal?"

"What deal?" Victoria asked, her tear stained face looking up to her father with questions in her eyes.

"How about you give Miss Bennet a chance, give her one month after you meet her, and if you still are against my marrying her then we can talk again, and if your problems with her cannot be dealt with we can revisit the question of my marrying her. But, if I am right, and it all works out, at the end of the month you will let me know and you can be the flower girl at the wedding." Darcy answered, he knew his daughter, and he knew that once she let her guard down she would love Elizabeth, but he didn't want to deny his daughter's feelings, for he had wrestled through them all himself.

"Okay, deal." Victoria replied, Darcy pulled her into his arms wiping the tears from her face as she sat on his lap looking at the painting on the wall. The two sat for a while longer before standing and returning to the dining room where Fitzwilliam and Georgiana sat eating. Darcy and Victoria finished their meals quickly so that the desert course could come with reasonable time for them to eat and then get the children to bed. Once Darcy had walked with the children to their rooms and helped them get settled for bed he made his way to his study, unsurprised to find his sister waiting for him.

"Are you taking the children with you, or do you plan to leave them again?" Georgiana asked, her voice failing to cover up her hidden meaning. Darcy wanted to defend his choice to leave, but he knew that there was no defense that could ever hold up against the truth.

"Yes, I will be taking them. You are welcome to join or to take a break. I am not worried about you meeting Elizabeth, I am convinced you will like her."

"And the honeymoon? How long will you be gone then?"

"Georgie, I know what you are getting at no matter how hard you try to conceal it. I confess I have not spoken to Elizabeth about it, but I was thinking we would stay away for a few days, a week at most, before returning here for the rest of the expected time to spend it with the kids. I do not plan on leaving them again any time soon."

"You shouldn't have left in the first place. They needed you, and you left at the most crucial time of their grief. Victoria continues to have to be reassured that you still love them, and Fitz is trying his best to cope with not remembering his mother as his sister does, but he continues to have nightmares and call out for you each night. Your children need you. I am glad you have found someone, I know it was needed. I also am aware that your business needed you to come to town, what I don't get is why you couldn't have taken them with you." Georgiana explained. She had tears forming in her eyes, she knew that her brother had been in pain, she knew why Bingley had wanted to get him to go to town. She understood all of that, yet she had watched her niece and nephew long to have their father, and she had heard Victoria asking the nurse if she was going to lose him too.

"I… Blast it Georgie, I was doing my best. I didn't even know how to live anymore, and this place, this house was suffocating. I didn't want to leave, I dreaded the day I had to reenter society, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to leave them, I never have, but I also didn't know how to care for them. I felt like I was alone Georgie, completely on my own and I was…" His voice faded out as he failed to confess the truth. He had been afraid. Afraid of loving them. Afraid of losing them. Afraid of failing them. He had let his fear control him, and he had done exactly what he was afraid of; he had failed them.

"Fitzwilliam, I know you were hurting. I cannot begin to understand the pain you were going through, Rachel was your world, I know that. Yet, I need you to understand that your entire world didn't die that day, Tori and Fitz are still here, and they need you. When you marry Miss Bennet, you must remember that, you must remember them. Don't create a new life and leave them in the dust while trying to deal with the grief." Georgiana replied, placing her hand on her brother's arm. She had never seen her brother as broken as he was when Rachel had died, yet she had also never seen her niece and nephew as hurt as they had been these last few months after his departure.

"I won't. They are my heart, Georgie. How could I forget them again?" Darcy replied.

"I didn't think you would, but I needed to make sure. You know that I love the three of you more than anything. I just want to make sure you are all okay. Now, tell me, why Elizabeth Bennet?" Georgiana asked, a slight smirk coming to her face. They then spent the rest of the evening discussing the events of his trip before heading to bed. Darcy informed the children's nurse on the way that if they awoke to nightmares she was to send for him, hoping that he could begin to help his children heal from the loss of their mother and the pain he had brought by leaving.

Darcy woke to a knock at his door just a few hours later, lighting the candle and looking at the clock on the wall he realized that it was just after three in the morning. He quickly moved to the end of his bed and wrapped his robe around him before moving to the door and opening it,

"Yes?" He asked, noticing that it was one of the nursing maids.

"You asked us to wake you if one of the children had a nightmare, sir." The maid answered.

"Ah, yes. Which one is it?" He asked, finishing opening the door and stepping out into the hall, following the maid down the hall towards the nursery.

"Master Fitzwilliam, sir. Mrs. Morrison is with him now, but he was calling for you." She finished as they made it to the door of the nursery room, Darcy grabbed the handle turning his head back towards the nurse,

"Thank you." He answered before turning the handle and entering the room. The nurse Mrs. Morrison was sitting next to his son on the bed, trying to get him to stop crying, having no luck.

"Mrs. Morrison, let me take it from here, thank you." Darcy spoke, his voice soft and calming. The nurse nodded and stood, leaving the room. Darcy glanced over noticing that Victoria was awake as well, he motioned for her to come over to her brother's bed. He then sat, leaning his back against the headboard he pulled the two of them into his arms holding them close. They had sat like this often after Rachel's death in the hours they had spent in his room.

"It's going to all be okay. I'm not going anywhere." He spoke to them, his voice trying to convey the promise his words held.

"Mommy said that too, but she's gone." Fitzwilliam's innocent voice was full of pain and fear. Darcy tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat at his sons words, but failed to do so,

"I know. I cannot make promises about life and death, but I can promise that while I am able I won't leave for such a long time again."

"Even when you marry our new mommy?" Fitzwilliam asked, his tears had begun to dry on his face.

"When I marry Miss Bennet I will leave for a week, but after that I will be back, and will take you on every trip you wish to go on."

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Fitz?"

"Why did mommy have to leave?" His son's words were curious and innocent, but they broke Darcy's heart. He struggled to stop the tears from forming in his eyes, once again failing. He had asked the same question many times over,

"I wish I knew the answer for you, but I don't. I don't think we get to know the answers to such things. Sometimes, I believe, we just lose people, and one day maybe we will understand some of it, and it will make it better. Or maybe, we will have to wait until we ourselves have passed on to learn the answer. But, I choose to believe that there is some part of it that will be good and happy. Something that will happen that will make it better. I wish I could fix it, bring her back or remove the pain." Darcy replied, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. He wished he could make it to where his children didn't have to feel the pain, but he knew that he couldn't.

"It's okay, daddy. We wish we could take yours away too." Victoria replied. She was beginning to fall asleep, Darcy pulled both of his children closer, reclining a little further into the bed as they fell asleep in his arms. He then looked out the window that was over his sons bed, looking at the stars that he had once watched with Rachel in his arms,

"I hope I am doing this right, Rach. I'm terrified that I am going to mess this up, you were always so much better at this than me." He whispered into the silence of the room, his children asleep with their heads on his chest. Tears continued to fall down his cheeks as he settled in to try and get some sleep.

Darcy woke early, with an ache in his back and neck. He then carefully shifted Fitzwilliam back into his bed and carefully carried Victoria to hers before silently exiting the room. The clock in the hall told him it was almost six in the morning, he had only gotten a few hours of sleep and most of them had been sitting up in the nursery trying not to move. He was exhausted and was starting to realize that trying to bring healing to his family was going to take more than he thought. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to succeed, but he knew he had to try. He went to his room to prepare for the day, taking the extra time to sit in a hot tub to try and relieve the pain in his back and neck. After dressing he realized that it hadn't helped in the slightest. He then made his way into the dining room in hopes of getting a cup of tea, he was surprised to find his sister waiting at the table.

"Good morning, brother." Georgiana smiled, her voice light and happy. Darcy only grunted in return, his exhaustion and pain making it hard to find the ability to reply.

"Many would call that rude, especially for a gentleman of your status." She replied to the grunt, curious as to why her brother was acting in such a manner.

"Yes, well, give me an hour, then try again." He replied, sitting at the head of the table.

"What on earth happened?" Her voice showed the fact that she was concerned as to why her brother was acting in such a way. He had been in a very different mood when she had seen him the night before.

"I asked the nurse to wake me if one of the children had a nightmare. I had only been asleep for around two hours when they knocked at my door. Fitz had had a nightmare, so I went to them. Tori was awake as well so I sat with them, we talked a little, then they fell asleep. After that I got a few minutes here and there, but I was sitting against the headboard and not only could I not get comfortable, I…"

"You?" Georgiana prompted.

"We talked about Rachel. I found that the memories continued to pull me from my sleep. They carry such heavy burdens to be so young."

"I know. You cannot solve that problem though, just focus on being with them. That is what they need the most. Next time, maybe think through taking them back to your room so you don't destroy your back and neck in the process." Georgiana smiled.

"Yes, I admit that would have been a wiser choice. I confess I did not think about anything like that."

"I suppose you will learn, if you truly do plan to continue to be such a part of their lives."

"Yes, I suppose I will." As he finished, the butler came in with a letter, followed by the servers with tea and breakfast. Darcy opened the letter reading it as the children ran into the room and joined them for breakfast.

"It's from Bingley, he has made arrangements to arrive at Netherfield park today, we are allowed to join him whenever we see fit. Mr. Haynes, will you please see to it that our items are gathered and the carriages loaded as quickly as possible." Darcy spoke, looking to the butler as he finished.

"Of course, sir." The butler then left the room. The group sat in mostly silence as they ate, each of them knowing that their day would be busier than they originally thought. They could make it halfway to Neitherfield before dark if they were able to leave quickly after breakfast, which Darcy knew that they would be.

"Aunt Georgie?"

"Yes, Tori?"

"Are you coming with us?"

"Not today, I plan on joining you very soon though." Georgiana replied to her niece. She and Darcy had talked it through the night before, she would go to her aunt in London where she would prepare to enter into society at the beginning of the coming season. Then she would come to Netherfield to join her brother.

"We really get to go with you dad?" Fitzwilliam asked, once again failing to first swallow his food.

"Swallow. Then speak. Try again." Darcy answered his son, he knew that his son would need to be on his best behavior when he met the Bennet family, and he was determined to have his son swallow before he spoke by the time that was happening.

"Sorry. Do we really get to go with you dad?" Fitzwilliam spoke again after swallowing his food. Darcy knew that the fact his son spoke as well as he did at five years old was impressive, but he also wanted his son to have manners with his words.

"Yes. You do. Speaking of, we need to be ready soon, so finish your food and go get in your travel clothes. I am going to go prepare some things in the office and I will come get you when it is time to go." Darcy replied, as he stood from the table, leaving the room. Once he made it to his office he sat quietly in the chair. Once again fighting tears from falling, how on earth was he supposed to be able to do this? His body ached with pain from sitting up all night. His head throbbed because of the lack of sleep. He had no idea what he was doing, and it terrified him. He just hoped that such things would not scare Elizabeth away. He straightened with a knock at the door, after a moment the butler entered,

"Sir, the carriages are ready and loaded with the children's and your trunks."

"Thank you. I will go get the children and we will be ready. If you will choose the people you think are best to go with us and send them to Netherfield as well I would appreciate it. Do not worry about having them make it to where we are staying tonight, I can handle everything for one night. I will see them at Netherfield."

"Very well, sir. I will send them directly." Mr. Haynes answered, before leaving the room. Darcy stood forcing himself to straighten his shoulders. He then opened his desk drawer and grabbed the ring he had kept from his great aunt. His mother had given him her ring when he married Rachel, he couldn't force himself to use that one again, so his aunts would have to do. Once placing it in his pocket, he headed to the nursery to collect the children, before leading them to the carriage and beginning their trip.

Two days and one more sleepless night later they found themselves pulling into Netherfield. Bingley stood outside waiting for them, along with the servants from Pemberley that had been sent to meet them. Once the carriage stopped Darcy exited it first before helping both his children out of the car, they immediately ran to Bingley wrapping him in hugs before moving to the nurse and telling her about their journey as she led them inside.

"Darcy! It is good to see you, you do look like the devil though." Bingley greeted, shaking his friend's hand.

"Good to see you as well. As for the look I'll have to attribute it to the two nights without good sleep, and the neck ache that seems to wish me dead." Darcy smirked.

"It is good to see you back in the role you take on so well. You make a wonderful father." They made their way into the house as they spoke.

"Have you been to Longbourn since your arrival?"

"Yes, I visited last evening, I plan on proposing to Jane soon, if you truly do believe you were wrong."

"I promise you Bingley, I was very wrong about all of it." Darcy insisted, pausing before continuing, "I was told to send news of my arrival to Miss Bennet, can you send someone?"

"I was actually going to go over for tea, if you are fine with me leaving while you settle in. I shall be back in time for dinner."

"Of course, It will take time to get the children settled in anyway. Thank you for letting us come."

"Of course, make yourself at home. I had the servants set up a nursery room near your room, so that you are near them. The maids can show you the way." Bingley answered before turning and leaving to make his way to Longbourn. Darcy then found the children in the nursery upstairs with the nurse. The maids were unloading their trunks into the dressers and closets in the room. Seeing that the children were well taken care of, Darcy moved down the hall to his rooms, seeing that his valet was unloading his own trunks he sat on the edge of the bed. He had not slept at all the previous night, the children having once again awoken to nightmares he had called them to his bed and then laid with them both in his arms. They had slept, but Darcy himself had been kept awake by his thoughts and his lack of ability to move. His back and neck were still killing him from the night sitting up in their nursery.

"Sir, can I get you something?" His valet asked, moving towards Darcy with a slightly concerned look.

"No, Williams, I am fine. Just a little tired. The children were up again last night with nightmares." Darcy answered, his head held in his hand as he tried to get it to stop throbbing.

"They told us all about you staying with them. They seemed to be having trouble believing that it was true, but they loved it all the same."

"That was the point. I will survive it. No matter what it takes I will help them heal from the pain they have experienced." At Darcy's words his valet just nodded before returning to his work and finishing unloading the trunks before leaving the room. Darcy sat for what seemed like a very short time, before standing and moving to splash water on his face drying it with the towel that hung on his wardrobe. He then took a deep breath and moved to exit the room. He found his children in the sitting room, Victoria was working with her tutor, while Fitzwilliam played quietly on the floor. Darcy sat down in the room with a book, he never opened it though as he watched his children.

Elizabeth was waiting on Darcy's letter telling her that he had made it to Netherfield. She knew that he would arrive any day now, and she was anxious to see him again and to have him talk to her father. Bingley had arrived a few days ago, and she knew that Darcy would soon follow. So much had changed in the few days since she had told Darcy that she would marry him. Not only had Bingley returned and once again begun focusing his attention on Jane, but the news of who Wickham really was had spread across Longbourn. Colonel Fitzwilliam had come through town on the day she had returned home with letters of warning to all the store owners and fathers in the county. He had then told them that he was headed to London to spread the warning there on behalf of his cousin. After that day, life had returned to normality. Bingley came to Longbourn often, and Elizabeth was roped into chaperoning their walks and adventures. She didn't mind though, as it gave her time to think about all that was about to change in her life. She found that the more she thought of it, the more she realized that Darcy was exactly who she wanted to marry, there was no more hesitation or question in her mind. He was who she had always dreamed of. The maids were preparing for tea, Bingley was supposed to join them, so the whole family seemed to be extra joyful and excited. Elizabeth simply sat by the window, she hoped that today she would hear of Darcy's arrival, but she was unsure if it was the case. She barely noticed when Bingley rode up, and only truly realized it when the maid announced his presence and he entered the room.

"I apologize for being slightly late. Mr. Darcy and his children arrived this morning, and I was helping them get settled. They had a difficult trip i'm afraid." Bingley greeted, he looked directly at Elizabeth as he finished. She knew that he would know the reason for Darcy coming, and she knew in that moment that Bingley was the letter Darcy had promised. She was slightly disappointed that it wasn't an actual letter, but his final words stopped her disappointment in it's tracks.

"Children?" Mrs. Bennet answered shock filling her voice, before her mother could really get started though, Elizabeth spoke,

"I do hope they are all okay."

"Yes, just tired. Darcy informed me that the children have been having nightmares, he hasn't rested in two days." Bingley answered.

"Two days? He really should just let the nurses take care of the children." Lydia replied, her voice giving way to her opinions of Darcy being so involved with his children.

"Yes, well, Darcy has not seen his children in some time. And since their mothers death he tries to be very present in their lives. They call for him and he comes, he loves them tremendously." Bingley answered. He had always viewed the way his friend handled his children with pride. He thought there was nothing more noble than the way Darcy loved his children.

"I did not know that Mr. Darcy had been married." Mr. Bennet commented, motioning for Bingley to sit and really join them in the room. The whole group sat down before Bingley replied.

"Yes, he does not talk about it much in public since his wife's death. Very few who did not know the two of them before her death know of her at all. He and Rachel were the couple in society before her death. His coming here with me when I moved in at Netherfield was his first time leaving his house since his wife's passing." Bingley explained.

"How many children does he have?" Mrs. Bennet asked.

"Two. A girl and a boy. Victoria and Fitzwilliam. Victoria is seven and Fitzwilliam is five."

"Will they all have time to settle in and rest tonight?" Elizabeth asked, she was slightly worried about them, she knew that Darcy already had quite a bit on his plate, she didn't want him to harm himself.

"Yes. They are settling in now, and will have the rest of the day without visitors or events. Although, the wish to invite you all to dinner tomorrow was expressed." Bingley answered, turning to Mr. Bennet to make the invitation.

"We would be delighted to join you all for dinner." Mr. Bennet replied.

"Wonderful! We will expect you around seven." At that the group focused on the tea, and normal tea time conversation. After tea, Bingley was quick to excuse himself in an effort to get back and help Darcy with the children so that his friend could rest. After his departure Elizabeth asked to speak to her father, and followed him to his library.

"What is it Lizzie?" Her father asked as he sat down at his desk, Elizabeth shutting the door and joining him sitting.

"I want to warn you of a conversation that will most likely take place tomorrow evening. I saw Mr. Darcy at Rosing's, he informed me of many things. Of his children, of Wickham, and of many different things. He also asked me to be his wife. I have accepted, pending your approval. He is here now to speak with you and for me to meet his children." Elizabeth explained to her father. She was nervous as to what his reaction would be, yet she was hopeful that he would take into account that Elizabeth wanted this herself.

"Marry him? Lizzie, are you sure? I thought you disliked the man, we have known him as nothing but proud and harsh."

"We have not known him at all, father. Surely you understand that, we had no idea of his wife, or his children. He is not proud at all, he had just returned to society after losing the woman he loved. He was grieving in a way I am not sure we easily would have understood."

"We have been wrong about him then." Mr. Bennet replied, he was not blind to the look of love in his daughter's eyes.

"Oh, yes, we have been terribly wrong. He is the kindest man I have even known. Father, He is all that I ever wished for, and I know that now. The way he loves is unlike any man I have ever met and I know that I will not be stuck in a loveless marriage, like I have always dreaded."

"Very well, he shall have my blessing. I find joy in being let in on the secret that when we meet his children I will be meeting my grandchildren." Mr. Bennet smiled, gaining one from his daughter. Mr. Bennet was interested to see this version of Mr. Darcy that he had heard so much about today from his daughter and Mr. Bingley. He wondered just how the man who had seemed so very proud and proper was truly a loving man and father who happened to be very involved in the lives of his children.

The children had begun to show their exhaustion. Victoria was beginning to have a breakdown over her lessons and Fitzwilliam had just fallen after being told not to run. Both were in tears and Darcy was very overwhelmed. He had informed the nurse earlier in the morning that when such things happened he wanted to handle it. Which meant that at this moment he had to figure out how to deal with it. The tutor was trying to calm Victoria, so he focused on Fitzwilliam for the moment, quickly moving towards him and picking him up off the floor. He hadn't held his son in such a way in quite some time, but thankfully he was still young enough and small enough to make it quite easy. He then carried Fitz over towards Victoria, the tutor taking the hint and stepping away.

"Tori, breath. It's okay not to know how to do this, that is the purpose of learning." Darcy spoke, still holding his son he kneeled to come closer to his daughter. Tori only responded with more tears, as did Fitzwilliam.

"Come now, why don't we put this away for the day? We can try it again tomorrow." He spoke again, grasping her hand and pulling her away from the desk. She stood but then froze, holding her head in her hands she just stood and sobbed. Darcy didn't know what to do. Fitzwilliam was sobbing into his shoulder and Victoria still refused to move. Truthfully Darcy wished that he could do the same, he wished that he himself could break, but he knew that that never was an option. He pushed slightly on his daughters back so that she could hug him instead of feeling alone and then he just stood, both his children still fully breaking down. They had stood like that for what seemed to Darcy like forever, but for truly a very short time when Bingley entered the room.

"What happened?" Bingley asked, moving towards Darcy and pulling Fitzwilliam out of his arms trying to comfort the boy that was basically a nephew to him.

"Fitz was running and fell. Tori couldn't figure out how to do what her tutor was asking." Darcy replied, finally being able to fully pull his daughter into his arms once Bingley had taken Fitz.

"My my. Fitz, are you okay? Here, let's get you a cookie, that will make you feel better." Bingley spoke, wiping the tears from the boy's eyes. Then he turned towards the maid at the door,

"Could we get some tea cookies please?" Bingley asked, the maid who nodded and then left the room. He then walked Fitzwilliam to the window and quietly spoke to him slowly stopping the crying. Darcy, knowing that his son would be okay with is uncle, turned his attention fully to his daughter.

"Do you want me to help you figure it out?" He quietly spoke, earning only a nod from his daughter.

"Alright, then, why don't you show me what the problem is." Darcy asked, Tori moving back towards the table wiping her face fiercely trying to remove the tears that were still falling. Tori moved to the paper and pointed at the problem on the sheet of paper. It was a longer sentence with a few bigger words, Darcy realized she was having trouble reading it.

"Which word are you struggling with?" He asked softly, Tori only pointed at the page. Darcy followed her finger to the word that she couldn't pronounce, Switzerland. Darcy was unsure as to how to teach her to say the word, it wasn't one that he had thought she would be learning.

"Do you want me to say it for you, and then you can copy me and learn it that way?" Darcy asked his daughter, she still had tears pouring down her face. She responded once again with a nod.

"Switzerland." Darcy spoke slowly and clearly.

"Swit.." Tori tried, her voice still shaky from the tears.

"Switzerland." Darcy spoke again, a reassuring hand placed on her back as he spoke.

"Switzaland." Tori tried again.

"Alright, you are really close. Take a deep breath and try one more time, ready?"

"Yes."

"Switzerland."

"Switz..er..land." Tori spoke, her voice slightly calmer although still hesitant. Darcy smiled as she finished,

"You did it! Good job, let's say it one more time. Switzerland."

"Switzerland." Tori answered with confidence, a smile forming on her face.

"See, it's not all that bad. You just needed a little more time." Darcy pulled his daughter into a hug before wiping the tears from her face and closing her notebook and placing her pen in its container. They then moved over to the table that was now being set with cookies and milk. Fitz and Bingley already sitting down. As they approached the table Fitz held his elbow out towards his father, he still had tears in his eyes, but he had almost fully calmed down.

"Did you hurt it?" Darcy asked his son, slightly grabbing his elbow and looking at it closer, he thought he might see a bruise, but he knew it wouldn't fully form for another few hours. Fitz only nodded. Darcy moved to once again pick him up and placed him in his lap at the table, softly rubbing his thumb over his son's elbow to bring some comfort to the boy. Darcy knew that both the children were very tired, and it was further proven when Fitzwilliam cuddled into his fathers chest and fell asleep. Victoria was yawning as she ate her cookie.

"Why don't we have dinner a little early tonight, that way we can get them to bed?" Bingley asked, motioning towards the children.

"That would be wonderful." Darcy replied, and at that the plan was set. After a short time, Darcy woke Fitzwilliam up, hoping that his exhaustion would mean a full night's sleep that evening, and they all went on a walk around the grounds before returning in for the early dinner and retiring for an early night. For the first time since Darcy had asked Elizabeth to marry him, Darcy slept well through the whole night, and so did his children.

The next morning was full of excitement as the family prepared for the dinner. Darcy tried his best to use the first two meals of the day to fully remind Fitzwilliam that he was not supposed to speak when his mouth had food in it. He then spent time trying his best to occupy their day so that they would not be over excited when the time came for the Bennet's to arrive. Yet, no matter how hard Darcy tried to distract them, both he and his children were watching the clock. Darcy's watching was of course silent, and hidden, while his children had to ask what the clock said. Bingley, of course, found joy in trying to teach both of them how to read the clock each time they asked, but he was finding no success. Darcy spent most of the day pacing, foolishly believing that nothing would go wrong. At fifteen til seven though, he was proven completely wrong. Fitzwilliam once again fell, immediately sobbing. Victoria, then, trying her best to once again work on her tutoring work, cut her hand on the desk paper spike. At this point Victoria's hand was bleeding quite a bit, and Fitzwilliam was screaming. Darcy quickly scooped Fitzwilliam up in his arms and moved even quicker towards Victoria. Their guests had arrived early and Bingley had left the room to greet them, Darcy and the children were waiting on them to join them. Unfortunately, as soon as Darcy made it to Victoria, the group entered. Darcy continued to stay as focused as he could, pulling his handkerchief from his pocket and placing it on her hand. He couldn't really hear anything because of Fitzwilliam screaming in his ear so he wasn't quite focused on the group that had entered the room.

Elizabeth and her family were led into the sitting room by Bingley, before they even entered Elizabeth heard the sobbing, and noticed that Bingley quickened his pace. When they entered the room they saw Darcy holding a sobbing little boy, and working on using his other hand to get his handkerchief onto the bleeding hand of a little girl. Elizabeth noticed that the little boy looked exactly like Darcy, but the little girl held very little of her fathers look. Bingley seemed to freeze, but Elizabeth quickly moved towards the group. She placed her hand calmly on the back of the little boy, and once the boy nodded his consent pulled him gently from his fathers arms. Her action earned a quick glance and nod from Darcy before he bent down to help his daughter stop the bleeding in her hand. Elizabeth held the little boy, gently rubbing his back, she quietly began to speak to him once he started to calm down a little bit.

"What happened?"

"Fe..fell." he replied, his voice shaky.

"Where does it hurt?" Elizabeth replied softly. She didn't earn an answer, only a small finger pointing at his elbow.

"He hurt it yesterday as well, it is probably hurting worse because of the bruise." Darcy spoke, he was looking up from holding pressure on his daughter's hand. He was now sitting on the floor with his daughter in his lap.

"Oh, no. Do you want me to kiss it better?" Elizabeth calmly asked. She once again earned a nod from the little boy and then leaned down and gave his elbow a small kiss. He then cuddled up further to her and began to stop crying so much. By this time Bingley had come over with a bandage for Victoria's hand. He wrapped it around her hand while Darcy calmly rocked her back and forth. After a moment Darcy stood with his daughter in his arms, turning her around to where he could hold her properly and moved to greet the group,

"I apologize for all of that, ten minutes ago none of that was happening." Darcy smiled to the group.

"Not to worry, life happens." Mr. Bennet answered.

"Allow me to introduce my children. This is Victoria, she is my eldest, and Miss Bennet is holding Fitzwilliam my youngest." As Darcy spoke both children shyly waved their hands. At this, Victoria pushed against her father to let her down, and he then grabbed his son from Elizabeth's arms, whispering a thank you as he did so. "Now children, these are the Bennet's. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. Miss Jane Bennet…" Darcy began to introduce them, pointing out each one to his children who were watching carefully. Victoria had her back pressed up against her fathers legs and Fitzwilliam was pushed as close as he could get into his fathers arms. Yet when Jane was mentioned Fitzwilliam looked up and whispered in his fathers ears, earning a nod from his father before Darcy continued; "This is Miss Elizabeth, and Miss Mary, Miss Catherine, and Miss Lydia." Darcy finished introducing, paying close attention to making sure Victoria knew she was being introduced. As he finished once again Fitzwilliam leaned up and whispered in his fathers ear, earning yet another nod from his father.

"Shall we go to the dining room?" Bingley asked, after the group agreed, he then led the way to the room. Darcy struggled to walk, his children unwilling to move even far enough away from him for him to take an actual step. Elizabeth walked at a slower pace allowing her to walk beside him as he led his daughter to walk in front of him and continued to hold his son.

"Have you all been able to get any rest, Mr. Darcy? Mr. Bingley informed us all that your travels were very difficult." Elizabeth spoke, beginning a somewhat normal sounding conversation that would also allow her to check on the group that she had worried about since the previous afternoon.

"Yes, we all were able to rest fairly well this past night. Although, i'm afraid that we are not showing that very well." Darcy somewhat smiled, although Elizabeth could tell he was very nervous about making a good impression with her family.

"Things happen, none of us will blame you. How is your hand Miss Darcy?" Elizabeth asked, turning her attention to the little girl walking in front of her father.

"Better." Victoria replied shyly.

"I'm very glad. I cut my hand like that just a few months ago, and I know how bad it can hurt. And how is your elbow?" She then asked Fitzwilliam. The boy still had his head buried in his fathers chest, but he moved it just enough for his answer to be heard,

"Better." With that the group once again fell into silence as they entered the dining room and sat down to eat. The dinner itself went smoothly, although Darcy found once his children got comfortable with the group he once again seemed to be dealing with the normal problems. He was forced to remind his son over and over that he was not supposed to speak with food in his mouth, and that he needed to use his table manners. Victoria, to his benefit, used her already perfected table manners and ended up spending most of the meal in quiet conversation with Elizabeth. Darcy on the other hand was forced to manage his son, while trying to keep up conversation with Mr. Bennet and Mr. Bingley, along with random additions and questions from the others in the party. Elizabeth, though, throughout the entirety of her conversation with Victoria kept an eye on Darcy. The more he interacted with the group and with his son, the more she realized that he truly was completely different than she had originally thought.

After dinner the group had moved back to the living area, they had heard both Mary and Victoria play the piano forte. They then talked for hours. Eventually, Fitzwilliam fell asleep in Darcy's arms, yet he continued to talk and enter into the conversations without hesitation. Eventually, he and Mr. Bennet began a conversation, and after a comment from Mr. Bennet, about a book he had heard about Darcy, offered to show him the copy of it from Bingley's library. He then stood, carrying his son with him and led Mr. Bennet to the library. Elizabeth knew that he would use this opportunity to ask her father for his blessing, and therefore continued in her conversation with Victoria. The little girl had blown her away with her knowledge, and she continued to prove Colonel Fitzwilliam correct in the fact that she seemed to be exactly like her father, despite the fact that she barely looked anything like him. Darcy walked with Mr. Bennet across the hall into Bingley's library, moving to the shelf that he knew the book Mr. Bennet had spoken about was held on.

"Bingley has had this for a few years, I got him a copy when I realized he did not have it. My father had me read it at a fairly young age, I plan to do the same with Fitz." Darcy explained, handing the book to Mr. Bennet.

"Did it help you once you took over Pemberley?" Mr. Bennet asked. He had heard about the book from a local farmer who had read it. It was one of the leading works on managing and leading of the time.

"Yes, I have to say it did. I found myself using many of its practices as I learned my way around being master of Pemberley."

"This is a beautiful copy."

"Yes, I had it specially imported for Charles one Christmas. He claims it's his favorite book that he owns, but I haven't ever seen him read it, so I am not sure if that is true." Darcy smiled.

"Your son seems to be able to sleep through anything." Mr. Bennet commented, smiling at the small boy that had barely left his fathers arms since the beginning of the evening.

"I suppose he is. Although I also know he has not slept well in quite a long time. I think he takes any sleep he can get." Darcy answered. His sons face was buried into his chest and he could hear his steady breathing.

"Yes, Bingley told us of your children having nightmares. I am sure that makes things rather difficult."

"Yes, it has been a rather difficult thing. He has had them since his mothers death. I'll admit that I believe my leaving them for the time that I did, did nothing to help them. That is something I regret, yet I had the delight of meeting certain people that have changed my life. Which brings me to something I wish to speak with you about. I am unsure if Elizabeth has told you of any of this, but I have asked for her hand in marriage. I would like now, to ask for your blessing." Darcy spoke. His voice was soft and his face relaxed. Mr. Bennet had seen a very different man than he thought he knew in this one evening. Mr. Darcy as a father and with more comfort in his location, was a very different man than the grieving and quiet one Mr. Bennet had met prior to the assembly so long ago.

"Mr. Darcy, I have to say I might would have hesitated if you had come to me before this evening. Despite being warned by my daughter that you would be bringing this up, I struggled to believe that she was correct in her description of how you truly were. I have discovered that I was the one that was wrong. I would be proud to call you my son, and even prouder to call your children my grandchildren. You have my blessing." Mr. Bennet spoke, he knew that in such situations he should have called the children something other than his grandchildren, but he had realized in one night that these children would be brought into the family without any question as to whether society would agree with it or not.

"Thank you. I swear to you that I will take care of her."

"I do not doubt that you will. Tell me, have you told your children?"

"Yes, I told them before we made our journey. Fitz is ecstatic about having a new mother, and I believe that feeling has become greater now that he has met her. As for Victoria, I have a meeting with her in a month to see if she is okay with it or not. She was hesitant to the idea, and we made a deal that if she is still very much against it a month after she had met your daughter, we would re-discuss the entire idea. But, if she decided after meeting her that it was okay, we would move on and she would get to be the flower girl at the wedding." As Darcy spoke he rubbed his free hand through his son's hair. The two men walked back towards the others in the house.

"I am sure that Lizzie will also find that acceptable. She already seems to love your children very much."

"I hope so. I truly want nothing more than for them all to love one another as much as I love each of them." Darcy admitted before stepping back into the room with the others.

"Did you find the book?" Bingley called out upon their entrance.

"Yes, it's a beautiful copy." Mr. Bennet replied.

"You are welcome to borrow it anytime you would like sir." Bingley answered.

"Victoria, say goodnight, it's time for you and your brother to go to bed." Darcy called out as he noticed the time on the clock. It was a little past eleven and he knew that if they did not get to bed soon, they would be grumpy in the morning.

"Yes, daddy." Victoria answered before running to Bingley and giving him a hug. She then waved at the others, giving an extra second of attention to Elizabeth before coming to her fathers side.

"If you will excuse me, I am just going to walk them upstairs, I will be back in a moment." Darcy spoke, addressing the group.

"Of course, take your time." Mrs. Bennet replied, her calmness surprising her daughters tremendously. At that Darcy left the room and carried the children up the stairs, he handed them off to the nurse, knowing that if anything happened she would send for him and returned back down to the group.

The conversations ran on, the group playing cards and laughing. Darcy and Elizabeth had been playing against Bingley and Jane in a quite intense game of cards for almost an hour. Both of the teams were very close to winning, and the others of the group had gathered around to watch the intense game. It was just as the last round was about to start when the butler came in the room with a note for Darcy. He opened it and read it quickly, then handing the note to Elizabeth he quickly stood and left the room. Elizabeth glanced at the note before telling the room what it said,

"Fitzwilliam is having a nightmare."

"I was hoping that Darcy would get more than a nights long break." Bingley sighed.

"He told me that the boy has been having them since his mothers death, has Darcy taken on such an involved role for all this time?" Mr. Bennet asked.

"He did for many months after her death. He barely let the children leave his sight, and his sister informed me that he had spent many nights sitting up with them. He backed off a little as she had been gone longer. He stopped having such a role when I pushed him to leave Pemberley, I thought he would bring the children with him, but he decided not to, a choice I believe he regrets greatly. According to the servants, thought, since he returned he has barely let anyone else deal with such situations. The same was true when they have had breakdowns like they had earlier tonight. He believes he failed them by leaving, and he wants to fix it. In his mind that means being with them to help them heal. I hate that it takes so much from him, but I have to agree that it will help, so I assist him in any way that I can." Bingley answered.

"Can we do anything to help now?" Elizabeth asked.

"We could go see, although I am not sure about what the answer will be." Bingley replied.

"Jane, why don't you and Elizabeth go with Mr. Bingley to see if you can help. The rest of us will make sure the carriage is ready to return home once you have finished. Do not rush, but I believe once things have calmed slightly it will be best if we get out of the way." Mr. Bennet suggested, earning nods from both his eldest daughters and the master of the house before they all left the room. Elizabeth and Jane followed Bingley up the stairs and to an open door. Standing in the doorway they could see Darcy sitting on the edge of his sons bed rocking him in his arms, his daughter awake and watching from the other bed in the room. Neither Jane nor Bingley really knew what to do, but Elizabeth took some initiative that she was not completely sure of and moved towards the two. She then motioned for Victoria to come over, and sitting down next to Darcy she pulled the little girl into her lap. With her other hand she grabbed hold of the warm and slightly shaky hand of Fitzwilliam as his father rocked him. Her actions earned a small smile from Darcy who she noticed had tears forming in his eyes, and a tighter squeeze on her hand told her that Fitzwilliam wanted her there as well. Victoria cuddled up close to Elizabeth, her own small hands slightly shaking and tears quietly falling down her face. Bingley and Jane stood in the hall, acting as chaperones but trying not to intrude on the family.

"I want mommy." Fitzwilliam spoke, his voice sad and quiet,

"I know…" Darcy began, but he was cut off by his sons voice again,

"No. I want Mommy." Fitzwilliam tried again, this time reaching out towards Elizabeth. Darcy looked shocked, but he opened his arms slightly,

"You want me to hold you?" Elizabeth asked, trying her best to hide her own surprise. Her question was answered with a quick nod and two little hands reaching out to her. At this Victoria stood and when Elizabeth pulled Fitzwilliam into her lap, Victoria replaced Fitz's place in her fathers arms. They then sat once again in silence. Elizabeth softly rubbing the little boys back and Darcy rocking his daughter until a little while later both of the children once again fell asleep and Darcy and Elizabeth returned them to their beds. They then quietly left the room, walking once again back down the stairs with Jane and Bingley, neither one of them really talking about what had taken place, but they smile they shared at the end of the night said all that need to be said. They were going to become a family, it wasn't going to be easy, but they would do it, and everything would be okay.

The next few weeks were spent with many similar nights. The Bennet's continued to come over for most dinners, and many evenings were spent in company with them. Darcy and Elizabeth had begun to plan their wedding, and both Victoria and Fitzwilliam were becoming closer and closer to Elizabeth. It was the night of the day that marked one month since their arrival, that as dinner ended Darcy turned to his daughter.

"Victoria, would you kindly accompany me to the library, I would like to discuss something with you." Darcy was thankful that on this particular evening the Bennet's had chosen not to come for the evening meal, but rather for tea earlier in the day.

"Yes, father." Victoria carefully answered before standing and following her father out of the room. Once they arrived at the library Darcy motioned for his daughter to sit in one of the big chairs, it seemed to almost swallow her as she sat. He then took his place across from her,

"It has been a month, what have you decided?" Darcy asked. He had informed Elizabeth of the deal quickly after their arrival, and both himself and Elizabeth were hoping that she would lose her hesitation.

"I don't want her to replace mommy, but I do like her."

"So, you do not wish for me to marry her?" Darcy asked, his heart was pounding. He loved his children and would do almost anything for them, but he also loved Elizabeth.

"No, I am okay with you marrying her, but I can't call her mommy like Fitz. It feels wrong daddy." Victoria replied, tears were forming in her eyes.

"Tori, do not worry about that, I promise you it is not a problem. You do not have to call her mommy, you never will if you wish not to. Fitz doesn't really remember your mommy, you know that, he has accepted Elizabeth as the only mommy he will ever truly know. You do not have to do that, I will never ask it of you. If you wish to you may, but if you do not wish to it will never be forced upon you." Darcy replied, he moved to kneel in front of her.

"I do like her daddy. I want her to be a part of our family, but I keep remembering mommy." tears were truly falling down her face as Darcy grabbed her hand, trying to wipe away some of her tears,

"Tori, I know that sometimes it hurts to remember your mommy, but I think it is good that you do. You are supposed to love and remember your mommy. Elizabeth isn't supposed to replace her. One day you will treasure every memory you have of your mommy, that is how it is supposed to be." Darcy spoke, his voice soft and caring. He then pulled his daughter into a hug. Her little arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he cried. Darcy once again found himself facing emotions he never thought he would experience, and he knew that both of his children had experienced more pain than they should have at such young ages. He struggled to swallow the lump in his throat and fight back the tears. Eventually he stood, went and collected Fitzwilliam from the living room and then took them to the nursery and told them goodnight. He then quickly made his way down the stairs and outside. He was still fighting the tears that threatened to fall, but as he found himself alone under the stars he lost the fight. He wanted to scream. He felt like his heart was being torn in two. He hadn't known that this would hurt so very much. He didn't doubt his love for Elizabeth, he didn't doubt his want to marry her, but he couldn't deny the pain that he was moving on from Rachel. He found his feelings to be quite like his daughters, he loved Elizabeth, but he missed Rachel. He also longed for his children to no longer carry the tremendous pain that he knew they carried.

"Darcy?!" Bingley called, he had come out of the house, concern for his friend after seeing him quickly flee the building. Darcy made no reply, yet, Bingley came closer. He saw the tears falling down his friends face, but he said nothing. He had been waiting for it, Darcy had been covering up his pain for weeks, and Bingley knew that this moment was coming. He placed his hand on his friends shoulder,

"Are you okay?" Bingley asked. Darcy jerked away from his friend, turning to face him,

"No! How could I be okay?! My wife is dead, my children are hurting and I can do nothing about it, and I don't know how to live like this!" Darcy's voice was full of pain, he was angry, but he was also hurt.

"You don't have to marry Elizabeth…"

"You don't get it Charles. I want to marry her, I love her, I do. But every time I try to just accept the happiness and the joy that this should be I feel like my heart is pulled in two. I can't forget Rachel, and neither can my children. I feel like a fake, Charles. I'm trying to live life, to get my children to live life, to be normal. Yet, I know the truth, I died the day that she died, and no matter how much I want to live, I can't drag my heart out of the grave." Darcy cried, tears were pouring down his face as he admitted to Bingley the truth of what was happening. He felt like a fraud, and it was hurting his children, his world.

"I just want to protect them." He whispered, his normally confident and strong appearance seemed completely broken. Bingley had tears forming in his eyes for his friend. He knew who Darcy was speaking of. He knew that these past few months both Victoria and Fitzwilliam had been struggling. The nightmares hadn't ended, and most mornings Bingley could tell that Darcy had had yet another sleepless night. Bingley knew that Darcy blamed himself for the pain of his children, but he also knew that it wasn't Darcy's fault.

"You are protecting them. You give your everything to them. It is not your fault that they are in pain, you had no control over what happened. Darcy, you and I both know that if you could have done anything you would have. You never would have chosen what happened. You can't erase the pain, but you can love them and be there for them and you are. I know there is pain in trying to live in a world that wants you to pretend like nothing ever happened. But you are not a fraud. Yes, part of your heart left with Rachel, but that does not mean that all of it is gone. You love your children and you love Elizabeth. There will be pain to that, but you cannot blame yourself for every tear and nightmare that comes. It's not your fault." Bingley replied, he never would have thought that his friend would be blaming himself for Rachel's death, but he noticed now that he had been, and it was clear to see if anyone had taken the time to learn.

"It is my fault, it always has been." Darcy answered, his voice broken and filled with more pain than Bingley had ever heard before.

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No.."

"IT IS!" Darcy yelled, "I wanted to have another child, I begged her for it. She was content with Victoria and Fitzwilliam. I forced her to have another. I.. I killed her." Darcy's voice fell into sobs as he finished. Rachel had died because of him, he had always known it was his fault. His children were hurting because of him, his wife was gone because of him. He deserved to be alone, to never find happiness again, he didn't deserve Elizabeth.

"Fitzwilliam Darcy, look at me." Bingley commanded, earning the weak attention of his friend, "you could not have known. You did not purposely hurt her, and you are not to blame for her or the child's death. You never would have done it if you had known, but you didn't know, and you cannot blame yourself for what you don't know. It is not your fault." Bingley's own voice was shaky as he spoke. He was realizing that his friend had been suffering with this alone, for more than a year, and nobody had taken the time to care for him enough to find out. They had all forced him to do so much, forced him to take care of Victoria and Fitzwilliam, forced him to leave, blamed him for leaving the children behind. They had pushed and pushed, none of them taking the time to see that he was more broken than anyone else. Not only had he blamed himself for the loss of the women he had loved more than anything else, he was blaming himself for every nightmare and bit of hurt that his children had. Bingley pulled his friend into a hug, Darcy still had tears streaming down his face. When Bingley pulled away he knew that his friend would not come inside, so instead he walked with him around the grounds. Determined, that this time he wouldn't let his friend suffer alone. They walked for hours before returning to the house, Darcy heading straight for the nursery as the nurse informed him that his son had had yet another nightmare. Bingley however, wrote a note to be sent to the Bennet's directly in the morning, asking that Jane and Elizabeth come for tea, and that they allow those at Netherfield to cancel the dinner plans. Charles knew that the last thing his friend would need would be the whole Bennet family, but he also knew that the calming presence of Elizabeth would benefit both Darcy and his children.

The next morning, Darcy went down for breakfast early, hoping to get a cup of tea. He hadn't slept at all. Once coming in from his conversation and walking with Bingley, he had gone to the nursery to comfort his son, which had led to him bringing both the children into his chambers. Victoria and Fitzwilliam had slept the rest of the night, but Darcy had never been able to fall asleep. When he entered the dining room he saw that Bingley had already arrived,

"I have canceled the dinner plans for the evening. Jane and Elizabeth will come over for tea, but the other Bennets will stay away for the day. Georgiana is supposed to arrive around tea time as well." Bingley stated as Darcy walked into the room. He watched as his friend sat down, he could tell that he hadn't slept. Darcy was holding on to his tea cup as if it was his lifeline, the hot beverage grasp tightly in his hands.

"Thank you." Darcy replied. His voice was scratchy as he spoke.

"You look like you were hit by a horse."

"I wish I had been. I didn't get any sleep, and my head is pounding." Darcy replied, he was now grasping his head in his hands. The two men then fell into silence as they ate, eventually the children joined them and Bingley carried on conversation with the two of them. They then went about their normal days. The children were very excited to see their aunt Georgiana, and were not easy to calm. Yet, a little before tea time, Georgiana arrived, and the children were able to say hello, and then were sent out to play before the arrival of the Bennet sisters. Darcy stood on the steps of the house and watched them, but Bingley pulled Georgiana to the side.

"I know you have probably already done this, but don't bring up anything about Darcy leaving Victoria or Fitzwilliam. And don't bring up anything about him choosing himself over them." Bingley pleaded. He knew that Georgiana already would have done this, but he was determined to make sure she didn't do so again. The two of them had failed Darcy, and he wasn't about to let it happen more.

"Of course I talked to him about it! They were brokenhearted that he left, you can't be saying that that was okay!" Georgiana replied, her voice full of shock.

"I'm not. I know they were hurt. But you are forgetting and missing a major part of this. The day after Rachel died, what did you say to your brother?"

"I said he needed to be with the children."

"And when I was trying to convince him to come with me?"

"I told him he needed to handle the business and return to society, that the tenets needed to be taken care of and that the children would not only need a new mother, but also connections in society."

"And when he came home?"

"I told him that he should have taken the children with him, and that they needed him and he had hurt them." Georgiana answered. She had no idea what her brothers friend was getting at, but she knew that it was important because of how he was speaking of it.

"When did you ask him if he was okay? When did you ask him if he was ready to return to society and to the business world? Did you ask him if he wanted to leave the children? Did you ask him if after losing the woman he loved the most in this world he felt like he could actually continue to live?" Bingley asked, as he spoke tears began to fill Georgiana's eyes.

"No." She admitted.

"He blames himself, Georgiana. He blames himself for her death. He blames himself for every bit of pain that those two children experience. He blames himself for it all. He thinks he's a fraud, he didn't even want to live without her. We never cared to see that, to care for him. We can't fail him like that again." Bingley argued.

"He can't blame himself, there is no way for it to have been his fault." Georgiana argued.

"Rachel didn't want another child." The words fell out of Bingley's mouth like lead. The truth of the situation hitting Georgiana like it had hit Bingley the previous night. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she understood just what they had done to her brother. The two sat for a moment, then at the sound of the bell that announced Jane and Elizabeth's arrival, the two pulled themselves together and went into the entry hall and outside to greet them.

Elizabeth and Jane arrived at Netherfield right at Tea time. As their carriage approached the house Elizabeth saw that the children were running around in the yard. When Elizabeth caught sight of Darcy, worry grew in her mind. She knew all that had been taking place in the past month. She knew of the children's struggles, but she still had yet to see Darcy look like he looked in that moment. He looked broken, exhausted, and in pain. Elizabeth had a feeling she knew why. Over the past few months she had come to better know the man, and to love him in a greater way than she thought she ever would. She had also watched while Bingley and many of his other friends and relations seemed to hold him to an impossible standard. He had told her of his sister telling him all that he needed to do, and how he wanted to be that. She had watched when Bingley seemed to push him to be everything that everyone needed him to be, she had never seen them check and make sure if he was okay. Yet, she was very aware of the fact that her fiancé had never fully been able to grieve the death of his wife, and she was prepared to walk with him through it. She was realizing that that day had come. Upon exiting the carriage, Bingley exited the house and immediately earned Jane's attention, so Elizabeth walked up to Darcy.

"Mr. Darcy, it is a beautiful day today, why don't we take a walk around the grounds while the children play." She greeted, hoping that he would agree. He nodded in reply, and offered his arm to her as they stepped down the stairs with her and began to walk the grounds. Darcy didn't speak, Elizabeth was hoping that he knew she was there to comfort him. After a while, the children and the hunting dogs running ahead of them as they walked,

"Are you okay?" She was very concerned for him, yet he still didn't answer. Elizabeth could see tears forming in his eyes.

"I know that you're not okay. Confide in me, Fitzwilliam. I know that you have been hurting and I think I know why as well. You are doing amazing things for your children and you are not at fault for their pain. And I know that you still miss Rachel, I will never expect you not to. I love you and I want what is best for you; you are doing all you can do, I know that your friends are pushing you as if you are not, but you are. You are not failing them, and you are not failing me." Elizabeth spoke, her eyes were beginning to tear up as tears began to fall down his face. She knew that technically she should not have used his first name, but she also knew that she needed him to listen.

"How can you not care? I should not be stuck on her if I am marrying you." Darcy replied, his voice was broken and his shoulders sagged from the weariness.

"Because, I do not doubt your love for me. I know that you love me, and I cannot deny it. I do not expect you to forget her, because she was your wife. You are the man I love, I want you to be okay, everything else can be handled later."

"You are too good for me."

"No I'm not. Just because you are hurting does not make you unworthy." Elizabeth replied, she wanted so badly to pull him into her arms and try and take some of his pain, but she knew that it was not proper.

"Thank you." Darcy whispered, wiping his tears from his face. He couldn't understand how she was so willing to love him despite all that was going on, but he found that he was very thankful that she was there, just as he had been many times this past month. The two then finished their walk around the grounds with the children before making their way inside for tea, where Elizabeth met her future sister in law.

The wedding day came very quickly, and by the time that the ceremony was over, Darcy had never been more ready for anything in his life. They were celebrating in the yard with the guests when and had been for some time when the butler informed him that the carriage was ready. So Darcy went across the yard to Elizabeth who had been talking to her friend Caroline,

"The carriage is ready, shall we go say goodbye to the children?" Darcy asked, catching her attention as he approached. Elizabeth nodded, and then followed after Darcy, who quickly walked towards his kids, scooping his son up in his arms with a smile, and grabbing his daughter's hand to walk with them into the house. Once the family found their way inside, Darcy set Fitzwilliam down.

"Daddy, can I have cake?" the little boy asked, looking up to his father.

"Yes you can, once we have left, ask your uncle to help you get some." Darcy replied, he and Elizabeth both kneeled down to be on eye level with the children.

"Do you have to go?" Victoria asked, trying her best not to cry.

"It will only be for a very short time, we will be back by the end of the week." Darcy replied, he and Elilzabeth had known that this would be difficult, it was why they had planned such a short trip. By the end of the week they would return and take the children with them to Pemberley.

"Okay. I'll miss you daddy." Victoria hugged her father, and then she turned to Elizabeth, "I'll miss you too, Miss Bennet." She hugged her as well, earning a big smile from Elizabeth,

"We will miss you too, both of you." Elizabeth replied, pulling Fitzwilliam into a hug after Victoria,

"Bye mommy! Bye Daddy!" Fitzwilliam replied as he hugged them both.

"Goodbye. I love you both, more than you will ever know." Darcy replied to both of his children. The group then once again exited the house towards the carriage where everyone was gathered. The children went to stand with their uncle Bingley. Darcy helped Elizabeth into the carriage and then climbed in himself, closing the door as it began to pull off. They would take their honeymoon in London, and they wanted to make it before nightfall.

"I hate leaving them." Darcy spoke, he was beyond happy to now have Elizabeth as his wife, but he was also very saddened and worried to leave his children. HIs family was still struggling, and he hated that he wouldn't be able to continue to take care of them at all times.

"I know. I do too." Elizabeth answered, grabbing his hand in hers, thankful that she now could without it being against society. He grasped her hand back, holding on to it as if it was his strength.

"Thank you for becoming my wife." Darcy spoke, a smile on his face as he looked at her. She had rarely seen him smile so very real and genuine.

"Thank you for becoming my husband." She replied back, she then leaned closer to him. Darcy knew that she was just going to cuddle closer, but before she could turn her head he captured her lips with his own, his hand coming up to cup her face. Elizabeth seemed to melt into the kiss, as she came even closer to her husband. When they pulled apart, there was no room in between the two of them. Darcy wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, Elizabeth ending up leaning on his chest as they rode towards London.

When they arrived at the London house, Darcy began to be a little standoffish. Elizabeth began to worry after they had eaten dinner and been relaxing in the living room. She had tried to sit near him like they had on the way to London and he had shifted away. By the time they had climbed the stairs to the bedroom he was clearly tense and trying his best to distance himself. That was when Elizabeth's worry grew increasingly. Once they had entered the bedroom and she knew the servants would not be listening, she decided to try and discover what was wrong.

"Fitzwilliam?" She spoke, gaining his attention from the other side of the room.

"Yes, my love?" Darcy asked, turning to face her. His voice was sincere despite whatever was going on.

"What is wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"In the carriage you were attentive and loving, and ever since our arrival you have been closed off. What happened?" Elizabeth asked, she wasn't worried about him paying her attention, she could survive him not doing so. Yet, she was very worried about him being okay though, this day had to have been difficult.

"I'm sorry." Darcy replied, his head dropping to look at the floor.

"There is no reason to apologize, I just want you to be okay." Elizabeth answered, moving to him, hesitating to touch him but making sure he knew he wasn't alone and that he wouldn't be so. Darcy still didn't speak.

"You can tell me. Please, Fitzwilliam, you are the man I love, I know something is wrong, confide in me." Elizabeth tried again.

"I can't lose you." Darcy finally replied. His words made everything click in her mind. Rachel had died in childbirth. While very rarely the wedding night ended in a pregnancy, that was both the purpose and goal of it.

"I am not afraid. You are my husband, and I want to know you as my husband. I know that you are afraid that what happened to Rachel will happen to me. I cannot promise you that it won't, because I do not know that. But, I will not allow you to fear so much that you are no longer able to live. I want to bear your children, as many as I can. I want to be your wife in every way that I know how. I know that there is fear, but I also know that it is irrational. Believe in the best, just for now. We can worry about tomorrow when it comes." Elizabeth answered, grabbing his hand in hers and stepping close. She cupped his face with her other hand and made him raise it to look in her eyes. As she finished she kissed him, trying her best to kiss away all the fear and all the pain that he held. Darcy wrapped his arms around her and decided then and there that he would love her fully for as long as he could.

When the week ended and Darcy and Elizabeth boarded the carriage to return to Netherfield, the two felt closer than ever. They had learned to lean on one another, and to trust one another. They had talked about many things, Elizabeth had listened to many of Darcy's fears and he had listened to hers. Returning to Netherfield to the children they knew that they would be able to make it, that no matter how many sleepless nights and hard days were on their horizon they would make it through it all together.

"I cannot wait to see the children, it feels like we have been gone forever." Elizabeth spoke, Darcy was holding her hand the carriage bounding along the road.

"I miss them as well, but I will not deny that last night I wished for one more night alone with you." Darcy replied, smiling at his wife as he moved his hand to wrap around her and pull her close.

"It was nice, wasn't it?"

"Beyond nice." Darcy replied, placing a kiss on the crown of her head. The two had grown very comfortable with one another, they spoke of all they worried of and dreamed of, and they spent hours in each other's presence.

"Maybe the children will not have any more nightmares." Elizabeth answered, her head leaning on his chest as he held her close.

"Possibly. Although I doubt that will come to pass. I will continue to wish for it though, until I get you all to myself once again." He replied, this earned a glance from his wife, of which he took full advantage as he stole a kiss. It earned him a slight slap on his chest but it also made her try once again to get closer. The two of them held tightly together as they made their trip. As they pulled into the long drive of Netherfield, they sat up straighter, finally pulling apart. As the carriage pulled to a stop, Darcy squeezed her hand one more time before opening the door and climbing out, turning to help her out once he was down. The moment they were both on the ground the children came running at them. Darcy kneeled and grabbed them both into his arms hugging them tightly. Once he let them go they both moved to Elizabeth rapping her in a hug as well. The family was back together again,

"Welcome back! How was London?" Bingley greeted, after the wedding Georgiana had returned to her aunts to protect the two from propriety. Which meant that Bingley had taken on the children alone, which Darcy had been beyond thankful for.

"It was wonderful. Did they behave?"

"Of course! We had fun. Do not worry about it, one day you can pay me back by keeping my kids." Bingley answered with a smile.

"Your kids?" Elizabeth asked, curious as to whether he had finally proposed.

"Yes, my kids. And yes, that does mean that I finally proposed to your sister, she is waiting inside with your sister Mary." Bingley answered. Elizabeth, still with Fitzwilliam in her arms, immediately moved to go inside and see her sister, earning a laugh from her husband as he picked up Victoria and followed with Bingley, patting his friend on the shoulder in celebration.

"Jane!" Elizabeth greeted a smile lighting up her face.

"Lizzie! Oh, how was London?"

"It was wonderful, but we can speak of that later. You are to be married!" Elizabeth replied. Jane only smiled in return although she gave her sister a hug from the side as her sister still held her now son.

"I believe we will be seeing quite a bit of each other, marrying these two." Darcy stated to Bingley, his daughter was still in his arms, her head rested on his shoulder.

"Yes, I believe we shall." Bingley laughed. The sisters were all engaged in conversation, as Fitzwilliam fell asleep in Elizabeth's arms and Victoria in Darcy's. It was then that Darcy realized that there had been very little sleep had in the house since their departure. And as the group went to bed that evening, Darcy pulled Bingley aside,

"I cannot thank you enough for watching them, and for caring for them. You have gone above and beyond and I owe you greatly." "I wouldn't have let anyone else do it. You are like a brother to me, and they are like family as well." Bingley answered. He earned a nod and a pat on the shoulder from Darcy before the two separated. Darcy headed to the nursery to find that Elizabeth was already there tucking the children into their beds and telling them goodnight, he followed behind her telling them each goodnight before following her out of the room. They informed the nurse to let them know if the children had any nightmares and then made their way to their own room for the night. They would leave for Pemberley in the morning, and Darcy was thankful that he would have Elizabeth with him this time, and that he wouldn't have to leave her.