Making It Right
He had been quietly planning to expose Lord Featherington, while protecting Penelope for weeks. It had been tricky to manoeuvre but he had been successful. It had made him feel ten feet tall when she had responded that he was special to her too.
Now Fyfe wanted to know why Penelope was getting so much of his attention. Since Fyfe had never had any interest or really anything pleasant to say to or about Penelope, it sparked something more than protectiveness in him. He knew that his relationship with Penelope was changing. She wasn't just his little sister's friend any longer. But he didn't want a leech like Fyfe anywhere near Penelope.
"The way you were dancing with Penelope Featherington looked rather interesting." He hadn't thought for a moment how it would look dancing with Penelope. In truth he wasn't thinking of anything but Penelope. "You courting the girl Bridgerton?"
If he had learned anything from Daphne and Simon's courtship, it was that men like Fyfe were more interested in women that there was a possibility that they couldn't have. "Ah, are you mad? I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington. Not in your wildest fantasises Fyfe." When the others laughed, he knew he had been convincing enough.
A movement caught his eye. When he turned to see what it was, he saw Penelope running off. His heart dropped in his chest. She had overheard him. He needed to explain himself, but he couldn't do anything with this lot hanging around. He owed it to Will for warning him about Lord Featherington. Bringing him a lot of new customers would be a start. Once he dropped the men off, he went in search of Penelope.
Most of the guests had already left when he returned. He couldn't spot Penelope, but it wasn't as though he could roam the Featherington house looking for her. The last guest departed and Colin frantically tried to think of a reason to ask to speak to Penelope. There was nothing he could think of that wouldn't raise suspicions. Just as he was about to give up he heard a quiet sob.
Curious he followed the noise. Somehow he knew he would find Penelope alone. She always arrived to events with her family, but they seldom cared where she went or what she did once they were there. That he had made her cry broke his heart.
There she was sitting on the garden bench quietly crying. No family member comforting her. The lights went off in the house signalling that her family had not noticed she was even out there. "What are you doing out here alone?" He saw her jump slightly as he moved to sit beside her.
"I'm sure Cousin Jack is already packing." Penelope wiped away her tears. She knew it was too late to hide them. "You did not need to stick around to make sure."
Of course that was what she would think. "I am not here to check on your cousin. I am here to see you." It was then that he realised he was not going to be able to charm his way out of this. "I should have found a better way to draw Fyfe's attention away from you."
"Lord Fyfe is not interested in me. He prefers women with no morals." The idea that Lord Fyfe would even look purposely in her direction was ludicrous. Sure she had seen him and a few other gentlemen watching them dance, but that was obviously because they thought Colin had lost his mind.
"Actually, he always wants what someone else has. I had you in my arms so suddenly he saw what I have taken for granted for years." He reached out and took hold of her hand. "I foolishly said the first thing that popped into my head."
"You do not need to pretend I am anything but a friend to you. After all, you have already told me I do not count as a woman." She slipped her hand from his. "It appears I barely count as a daughter or sister either. I should go inside provided I have not been locked out." She resisted saying 'again'. Summoning up what was left of her pride and dignity; she left him and headed inside.
When had he said she did not count as a woman? Then it hit him. He had said that when she had enquired into his travels early in the season. God, what a fool he was. What woman would ever find that complementary and yet Pen had taken it with such grace until now. Anyone else would have made a spectacle of themselves as well as him, but not Pen.
So deep in thoughts of self loathing was he, he almost missed Penelope heading back in his direction. "I am so sorry Pen." He thought she may have come back to give him a piece of her mind. But she surprised him again.
"I have been locked out. Perhaps Mrs Varley is still up." She doubted her Mama would have kept any of the other servants especially brought in for the ball after Colin had exposed Cousin Jack's antics.
"Pen please." He couldn't bare to see her in such pain when he had been part of the cause. His heart broke again at the sight of a tear escaping and trailing down her cheek. Without thinking he cupped her face to brush the tear away with his thumb.
Her expressive face, shocked at such an intimate gesture as she reached up to pull his hand away. Her full lips quivering with emotions which were far too tempting to resist. Slowly he leaned forward and brushed her lips with his.
It was electrifying kissing Penelope Featherington. Her gasp of surprise encouraging him as were her hands gripping his jacket, pulling him closer. How had this happened? He should be apologising to her not moulding her soft curves to his hard body which was getting harder the longer he kissed her.
Finally air or lack of it was a contributing factor to him pulling back. This wasn't an action of a gentleman. Penelope had to be overwhelmed. After all, he doubted she had been kissed by a man before. And certainly not by one who had spoken so cruelly of her (good intentions or not) less than an hour before.
He opened his mouth to apologise again only to have Penelope stop him. "If you apologise for kissing me and tell me it meant nothing, I will slap you." Clearly she had reached her limit of what she would put up with tonight. "I'm going inside." She turned to leave him.
"I cannot tell you it meant nothing." His words stopped her in her tracks. He was aching to kiss her again. "I am sorry for a lot of things I have said and done tonight, but kissing you is not one of them." He just hoped that he hadn't destroyed their friendship, while at the same time he wanted so much more. The seed of this relationship had been slowly and quietly growing since they had first met.
"Good night Colin." Her voice weary as she continued on to the servant's entrance. It wasn't very reassuring in any way. Still he waited to make sure she made it inside before heading home himself. She couldn't avoid him forever especially with Antony's wedding coming up.
Apparently his brother had managed to get engaged again. If he knew his Mother, she would be organising a quick wedding along with Lady Mary before the bride or groom could argue their way out of it.
This evening had run the gauntlet of emotions. How was he going to fix this blunder with Penelope? There was no point in going back now. Not with the memory of kissing Penelope Featherington on repeat in his head. No, he'd rather enjoy that in the privacy of his room.
"You are home early." Benedict appeared to be on his way out. "Fyfe's company has finally reached its capacity, has it?" There really was only so much one could take of Lord Fyfe bragging about how he had managed to convince another young lady to loosen her morals.
"He set his sights on Pen." Even if Benedict couldn't see how distressing that was to him, nobody would want Fyfe hurting Penelope Featherington. It was bad enough that Cressida Cowper used her for verbal target practise.
"So speak to Penelope first." Benedict set his bag down. "Tell her how you feel about her. No one was really buying that the two of you were just friends."
"I was." He slumped down on the stairs. How long had he been fooling himself? "Until Fyfe became interested and I said something incredibly stupid which Penelope overheard." He sensed rather than saw his brother sit down beside him. "I thought if I convinced him that there was nothing between Pen and I then he would leave her alone."
Benedict watched his brother for a moment. "Well, the good news is that Fyfe will probably move on to his next conquest. The bad news is judging by your expression you were rather convincing and Penelope may doubt you are interested in being anything other than her friend."
"She definitely doubts me. I have just come from speaking to her. There had to have been something better to say to Fyfe than 'I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington.' She even thinks I regret kissing her." He caught his brother's wince. "There is nothing I can do to make this up to her, is there?"
"You could actually court her? I doubt she would see it coming." Benedict patted him on the back. "I know you are used to charming your way out of trouble, but do you not think that Penelope is worth the effort?" He stood and grabbed his bag, leaving his younger brother to his thoughts. Somehow he was certain Colin would win Penelope over. The shy redhead had been in love with his brother from the moment she had met him.
"Ben." Colin managed a weak smile. "Thank you." Somehow his older brother always knew the right thing to say in the moment.
His brother responded with a smile of his own before closing the door behind him. Benedict seemed to prefer the country to being in town at the best of times. Of course he would be back for Antony's wedding though. He only hoped Antony and Kate didn't decide to have a small wedding with only family. Although Eloise would surely find a way to include Penelope even if they did.
Then it hit him. Eloise may not appreciate sharing her best friend with him. That is if he could get Penelope to speak to him again. Perhaps it would be best if he didn't mention to Eloise that he had kissed Penelope and wanted to continue to kiss her for the rest of his life.
As he lay in bed replaying their kiss over and over, he wondered why he hadn't noticed the treasure Penelope was sooner. She had always been there for him, encouraging him, cheering him up when he was down. It had surprised him how badly he had needed to kiss her and stunned by how he hadn't wanted to stop.
Oh God, he was lusting after his little sister's best friend. Eloise was never going to forgive him for this. Somehow he could live with that, but not a future without Penelope in it. That is if he hadn't already ensured she never wanted to see him again.
At least he had an excuse to call on the Feathering ton household in the morning. Despite being genuinely concerned that Jack Featherington had not left town and would continue to take advantage of the Featherington women, he just wanted to see Penelope. This was insane. Yet he yearned to see her blue eyes sparkle up at him. The one thing he didn't want was to make her cry again.
The next morning he headed over to the Featherington home. Portia Featherington assured him that Jack Featherington had left and thanked him for coming to their rescue. A sentiment that sounded a little false to his ears.
"Is Penelope here?" He found the surprised look on Portia's face highly offensive. Then he realised she had no idea where her youngest daughter was. "Surely you realised that you had locked her out last night and if Penelope made it inside." He knew she hadn't but couldn't resist making Portia feel guilty.
"I believe Penelope is running some errands." It was rather obvious that she had not known Penelope had been locked out or if she was even in the house at that moment.
"Do you expect her to be long?" Since Portia had answered the door when he had arrived and he hadn't see any servants in the time he had been there, he couldn't begin to imagine where Penelope could have gone if she wasn't in her room. He wished he had thought to bring flowers for Penelope if only to see the look on her Mother's face that someone had called to court her youngest daughter whose whereabouts she had no clue.
"I really could not say." Portia couldn't seem to comprehend why Colin was so eager to see Penelope. The surprises kept coming for Lady Featherington as Penelope started to come down the stairs looking a little flushed. "Penelope. I did not realise you were back from running your errands."
"I did not realise you even noticed I had left the house." Penelope was in a feisty mood this morning. Then she noticed him. "Cousin Jack has gone Mr Bridgerton." And still hadn't accepted his explanation of his unfortunate words spoken last night.
"That was not my main reason for being here, merely a convenient excuse." He had not really wanted to do this with Lady Featherington in attendance, but if that was the only way Penelope would speak to him, then he would just pretend her mother was not there. "Apart from making sure you got inside safely, I wanted to see you." That was the simple truth. He needed to see her. His dreams last night had left him hot and bothered and even if he hadn't been able to use Jack Featherington as an excuse, he still would have come over to see her.
"There is no need. It is obvious that you were successful in dowsing any interest there may have been in me. There is no line of suitors waiting to court me, not that there ever has been." The way she spoke wasn't from a place of self pity. It was very matter of fact.
This hadn't been something he had considered when he made the comment. Truthfully, he had blurted out the first thing that came to mind. He hadn't thought at all. And yet the thought of Penelope marrying someone and not being part of his life made his blood run cold. "That was never my intention."
"Do not concern yourself. As I said, there was no interest from anyone regardless." With that she turned and disappeared back up the stairs.
He briefly considered following her before remembering that Portia Featherington was still in attendance. There was some satisfaction in seeing the stunned look on her face before leaving to contemplate his next move. It occurred to him that Portia Featherington had looked less shocked when he had exposed Lord Featherington for being a fraud than she had just now when he expressed an interest in Penelope.
His world had turned upside down. The prospect of courting Penelope held great appeal. If she would allow it that is. There had never been a time when she had left a room rather than remain in his company until now. Perhaps Eloise could help him if she didn't decide he was the worst brother for wanting to court her best friend.
"You look as though someone killed a puppy." Eloise briefly looked up from her book but noticed him anyway. "What simpering idiot turned you down?"
"She isn't a simpering idiot. And I said something stupid which she overheard and now I can't even get her to talk to me." Was this really how Eloise saw him? Chasing after women of little to no substance. "I suppose it's right what they say. You don't know what you have until it's gone."
That got Eloise's attention. "So mama finally managed to put the right woman in your path. It appears our mama is aiming for a wedding at least every other season." It seemed to amuse Eloise, but that wouldn't last long.
"Well that would only leave Benedict before Mother focuses on marrying you off." It gave him some satisfaction to see the horrified expression on Eloise's face. "Do not concern yourself. At this rate Penelope will not forgive me for saying I would never court her in anyone's wildest fantasies before hell freezes over."
"Penelope? You are talking about Penelope?" Eloise actually looked ready to murder him. "After what she's done? Especially in regards to Marina."
"You mean warning me that Marina's feelings for me weren't true. That she was in love with another?" He wasn't quite sure why Eloise was so mad about that.
"When did Pen warn you about that?" Eloise hadn't known about that. He thought she and Penelope told each other everything.
"That night we had dinner with the Featheringtons. Prudence was singing or at least what she considers singing and Phillippa's piano playing wasn't much better. I excused myself for a moment and Penelope followed me to warn me. Of course I thought she was just being a concerned friend."
"Until Lady Whistledown published her papers with the full story." Eloise seemed to arrive at some sort of realisation. "Just as she did with me."
"What has Penelope warning either of us got to do with Lady Whistledown?" Then it hit him. There had been moments when Lady Whistledown's words had sounded so familiar. It was only now that he understood why. "How could I not have seen it?"
"For the same reason she has remained undiscovered by the Ton. Nobody pays any attention to Penelope including her own family." When he opened his mouth to deny what she had said, Eloise shook her head. "Even the two of us ignored her. She told me at the start of the season that nobody really noticed her. There were so many obvious signs when I thought about it"
"I suppose so." This was such a mess. "I don't want to have another season without Penelope, but right now I doubt I even have her as a friend."
"That makes two of us." Once she had time to calm down, she realised that Penelope had practically spelled out for her that she was Lady Whistledown. She had told her on a number of occasions that pursuing Lady Whistledown could only lead to trouble. She still felt betrayed but she had kept her own secrets from Penelope. She wasn't entirely blameless. "So how do you think you will be written about in the next issue?"
"Probably not well if our last conversation is anything to go by." He dropped his head in his hands. "Not that I do not deserve anything she might print, but do you really think Pen would print anything that might look bad towards herself as well?"
Eloise nodded. "It is another reason nobody considers that she could be Lady Whistledown. She puts herself in the firing line constantly."
"Which is why even if she had somehow managed to get an audience with the Queen, nobody would have believed that she was Lady Whistledown." They had both put Penelope in an impossible position.
"So you want to court Penelope." Eloise was not ready to admit she had behaved foolishly just yet. "How are you going to achieve that if she will not speak to you?"
"I was hoping you might be able to help with that." Although it sounded as though Penelope and Eloise weren't on speaking terms either.
"Do what you have done in the past. Only you know Pen. You did not know a great deal about Marina. Was that not the concern that both Mama and Antony had?" Eloise had a point.
"Yes, but that does not make it any easier. She's hurt and angry." He thought back to all the times he said things in anger about Lady Whistledown or was dismissive even though he hadn't meant to be cruel.
"You are not mad that Penelope is Lady Whistledown truly?" It was going to take Eloise a little longer to be forgiving even if she was a bit more understanding of not giving Penelope any other choice.
"I thought I knew Marina's mind better than Pen and thought she was just being sweet. She was letting me know there was more than I was being told going on and yet I gave Marina more chances but ignored Pen. I condemned Lady Whistledown for writing gossip but it was the only thing that got me to see the truth. Then there is the time I told Pen she did not count as a woman because she was my friend. And to finish it off I announce at a ball at her home that I would never court her. Being angry with her seems somewhat hypercritical." When listed out it was worse than he thought.
"Well, when you put it that way. If it were me I would never speak to you again. Lucky for you that I am your sister and not the woman you have just discovered you have feelings for." Eloise watched intrigued as her brother's face fell. He was actually in love with Penelope.
"So it is hopeless." He was fairly certain now that flowers were not going to be enough to win Penelope over.
"Penelope is more forgiving than I am." Eloise reminded him. "At least make some attempt to win her over before the season ends." If that didn't work perhaps absence would make the heart grow fonder, although now that she thought about it, Penelope had been head over heels for Colin for years.
"Do you know what her favourite flower is?" It seemed as good a place to start as any.
"Just avoid anything yellow." Eloise suggested. Mainly because she had no idea what Penelope's favourite flower was.
"Wish me luck." No time like the present. Even if she wouldn't agree to see him, there was no way her mother would turn away a possible suitor for her daughter. Or so he hoped.
It was on his way back from picking up the flowers that he spotted a delicate butterfly necklace in the jeweller's window. It would look perfect on Penelope. Taking a chance he brought it and headed to the Featherington residence.
The flabbergasted expression on Portia Featherington's face when opening the door to find that he had not only come back to see Penelope, but was also baring gifts was priceless. He caught the moment she realised that he had gone to a greater effort for Penelope than he had for Marina. It resembled a nervous twitch.
Before Portia could recover from her shock, Penelope walked in from the library to head upstairs. "Penelope. You have a visitor." Even Lady Featherington's tone reeked of disbelief.
Penelope looked a little stunned to see him back so soon. "Why are you here?" She was straight to the point.
"To give you these." God, he had never been so nervous. "Eloise suggested I stay away from yellow flowers." He regretted mentioning his sister when Penelope flinched.
"They are beautiful." They both jumped at Lady Featherington's voice. Clearly they had managed to forget she was there. "Why don't I find a vase for them for you Penelope." She took the flowers off him and disappeared before either of them could speak.
"I also got you this." He held out the box containing the necklace.
"Why?" Obviously he was going to have to work to earn her trust back.
"Because I thought you might like it." This was awkward. Any other woman would have already grabbed the box from his hand. Not Penelope though. She looked at it as though she expected something to jump out of it at her. "I thought it would look good on you."
Curiosity seemed to get the better of her. "Thank you." She hadn't opened the box yet but apparently she wasn't given gifts often so was grateful when she was. That didn't mean that she wasn't also suspicious. Cautiously she opened the box. "It's beautiful. You did not have to bring me anything."
"Yes I did." Even if he truly had no intention of courting her, he had a lot to make up for. He checked to make certain no one would hear them before he spoke again. "I am certain I deserve whatever Lady Whistledown writes about me, but should I warn my family?"
"So Eloise told you. Who else knows?" She moved to hand the box back.
Instead of taking the box from her hand, he removed the necklace from the box and moved behind her to place it around her neck. "No one. Rest assured I will not be letting anyone in on your secret." He had moved her hair aside to do up her necklace but in doing so was now finding it difficult to resist kissing the bare skin he had exposed. Had he simply been ignoring the growing attraction between them all this time? Moving back in front of her before Lady Featherington came back he found the necklace suited her perfectly.
"But who else will Eloise tell?" She was surprised that more people didn't already know.
"I doubt Eloise is eager to let anyone else in on that piece of information. I suspect you know more of her secrets than anyone." Somehow he suspected that was what annoyed his sister most of all. That her best friend had kept this secret from her while Penelope had managed to discover her own.
"My mama seems to be taking her time finding a vase." Penelope had been alone with Colin on a number of occasions and no one gave them a second glance. So why did she feel so shy and nervous around him now? It seemed too good to be true that he would actually court her and her heart was still bruised and battered from what she had overheard.
"Your mother can take as long as she likes. I came here for you." He watched her shift nervously and wondered at how he had not truly noticed how stunning she was.
"Why on earth would he be here to court Penelope?" Apparently someone had alerted Prudence to Colin's presence and intentions towards her younger sister.
Penelope rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "Just wait until she finds out Cousin Jack is gone." Just then a loud wail echoed through the house. "That did not take long. I think you had better go."
"Come with me." He didn't want her to have to put up with her sister's dramatics. Or her mother's since he was certain her mother was up to something as nobody took that long to find a vase.
"I don't think that's wise. People will talk. After all, is that not what started this mess last night?" She could already hear her sister stomping through the house.
Without a second thought he grabbed her hand and headed for the door. "I do not care if people talk. I'm not leaving you here." Besides, he wanted to spend time with her without her family nearby. How had she survived in this house?
"Colin!" They reached the door before he realised she was tugging on his hand. "Just how much more do you think my reputation can take?"
That stopped him. "Take a walk with me. Let me court you properly. If nothing else it will prove that I lied to keep you to myself. Perhaps even encourage others so that your sister may get some suitors also."
"People only believe the bad about this family." If being Lady Whistledown proved anything, it was that. "Am I really only appealing when you think I need rescuing or when I tell you no?"
"Not at all. If I did not find you appealing as you put it, I would not have asked you to dance at any ball. Nor would I have sought you out at any occasion to talk to. I have messed up and need to earn your forgiveness I know. Please come with me. You can bring a maid or I can fetch one of my sisters to go with us." Had he taken too long to notice her?
"Why should I trust you?" A year ago she would have blindly followed him. Now she didn't need saving and she didn't want his attention only when she told him no, which she was sure he didn't hear a lot.
"You always used to." But he could see why that would be difficult right now. "Or you could stay here while your sister convinces herself that Lord Featherington was ever interested in marrying her."
Sighing Penelope followed him out the door. He still hadn't released her hand yet. However he did appear to have been listening to her as he walked them over to where Francesca was heading out with her maid. "Mind if we join you Chess?"
"Of course not." Francesca smiled sweetly at them while taking note that her brother was holding tightly to Penelope's hand as though he was afraid she would run away. "Penelope, are you alright? You have gone white as a ghost."
Colin looked down to see his sister was correct. Following Penelope's gaze, he saw that the delivery boys were out with the latest from Lady Whistledown. He handed the maid some coins. "Would you mind grabbing us a copy?" Waiting until the maid was out of earshot he dared to ask. "How bad?"
"I dare say I will come out of this worse than you. Charm seems to allow you to get away with most things." She tried to remove her hand from his again.
The maid returned with the paper and handed it to Colin. He browsed the contents, nodded and handed it back to the maid. "Shall we?"
If Francesca wanted to know the contents of the issue she didn't mention it. They quietly chatted between the four of them. Colin's plans to travel which he was uncertain of. Antony and Kate's wedding being hastily planned. Francesca's debut next season which she was both nervous and excited about. Penelope was uncertain of her plans seeing as Cousin Jack's departure had left her family in a state of flux. She did notice that they were drawing a lot of attention. Largely due to Colin refusing to let go of her hand. Since it was reported both in Lady Whistledown's paper and by those at the Featherington ball that Colin Bridgerton would never court Penelope Featherington, most wondered exactly what he was doing with the lady in question.
"Pay them no attention." Colin squeezed her hand. The people of the Ton would simply have to get used to seeing he and Penelope together. It wasn't really that unusual. More and more often lately he had been seeking out her company. Why was it only now that people noticed?
"That is easy for you to say. You are used to people looking at you." The Bridgertons always caught people's attention. They were a stunning family. But it was different. They weren't stared at with barely concealed curiosity. It was downright rude how surprised people were.
"I am sorry. For everything. The stupid things I said to others at your family's ball. For not noticing you sooner as more than simply a friend. That you could not feel confident in sharing your secret with me. For not listening properly." How much time had been spent brushing her aside as simply a friend?
In all of the years that Penelope had dreamt of Colin noticing her, she had never considered the reaction of others. Mainly because the mere hope of that dream had made her so deliriously happy that no one else mattered. Reality however left a lot to be desired.
If Colin was speaking the truth and not just trying to ease a guilty conscious, then the reality was that it was difficult to ignore the looks of disbelief. It was to the point that a few people, if their expressions explained anything, thought Colin was holding her hand out of pity. And she certainly wasn't deliriously happy. If anything she was embarrassed and miserable.
Colin has never had to work so hard to get a woman to believe his intentions towards her were honourable and true. Even his sisters gave him more faith than Penelope was at this moment. Suddenly he realised she had stopped. For the second time in less than an hour she had gone ghost white. "What is it?" Following her gaze he saw Cressida Cowper with a hostile expression on her face.
"Perhaps we should return home Colin." Francesca had obviously noticed the unpleasant blond as well. "Penelope looks as though she could do with something to drink."
The problem was that he had no desire to return Penelope home to her unpleasant family. He was uncertain what Eloise's reaction would be right now if they returned to his own home and there was no way that he was leaving her to the mercy of Cressida Cowper.
Then he saw the most remarkable thing. Penelope seemed to transform in front of his eyes. She squared her shoulders and started walking. Cressida opened her mouth to say something but stopped when Colin tucked Penelope's hand into the crook of his arm. Francesca moved to the other side of Penelope to present a united front.
If one thing was certain in the Ton, it was that the Bridgertons stuck together. If two of them had chosen to defend Penelope Featherington, then she had the support of all of them. Colin and Francesca's small but simple gestures wiped the socked looks from a lot of faces.
"You've taken up charity work I see, Mr Bridgerton." Unfortunately it only served to egg Cressida on in bullying of Penelope. Over the years she had taken any opportunity to make petty jibs at Penelope.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean Miss Cowper. If anyone is being charitable, it would be Miss Featherington." It was difficult holding back the smile that was threatening to break across his face. "She is the one who has been gracious enough to allow me to court her." There was some satisfaction in seeing Cressida almost choke on her own tongue.
"But that's not possible." Cressida's expression was priceless. She looked as though someone had thrown a box of spiders at her.
"Why is that?" Francesca was the picture of innocence. The most quiet of the Bridgerton sisters, but she had an edge to her when those she cared about were threatened.
Cressida scoffed. "Because it's Penelope. Nobody in their right mind …"
"Be careful of what your next words are Miss Cowper." Colin was low on patience with this horrible woman. "I am very much in my right mind."
Francesca giggled. "I don't recall a line of gentlemen calling to court you. Certainly nobody under the age of sixty." It was common knowledge that Lord Trowbridge had paid the Cowper residence several visits recently.
If Penelope was shocked by what Francesca was saying, she didn't show it. "At least the one party interested in me is closer to my age than my mothers." Penelope strolled past Cressida taking Colin with her since he had still to let go of her.
"Remind me to never get on the bad side of either of you." Colin was stunned. Two of the Tons shyest women had just taken down Cressida Cowper.
"Cressida won't stay quiet for long." Penelope started to shake. "It was only my reputation tarnished before." She looked up at Colin. "Now yours will be to."
"Penelope." Colin took hold of her other hand so that she had to look at him. "If the people of the Ton are foolish enough to listen to someone as bitter and twisted as Cressida Cowper, that is no concern of mine. Besides, Lady Whistledown will always ensure Cressida doesn't get the last word."
"You're in love with Penelope." Francesca beamed at her brother. She didn't say it in disbelief. Quite the opposite in fact. She looked thrilled.
"No he's not." Penelope shook her head. When she looked back at Colin she was stunned by his expression. "No you're not."
"Yes I am." He wasn't sure what else he could do to prove to her that she was who he wanted to be with. "Would you do me the honour of accompanying me to my brother's wedding?"
"If I say yes, then what happens?" She desperately wanted to believe what he said was true. Wanted to believe he would be kissing her again in the future. It was an amazing kiss but then she had nothing to compare it to. "You have plans to go abroad."
"Are you afraid that I will find someone else while I'm away or that I won't go?" He had thought of changing his plans, but that wouldn't convince Penelope that his feelings were true. To be fair he had only realised he was in love with her recently.
"Can it not be both?" She wasn't sure what was more terrifying. Colin loved to travel and although it would go a long way to confirm his feelings for her were more than mere friendship, she knew he felt as though he had some purpose when travelling. However if he did go there was a chance that he could meet someone better suited to him.
This was impossible. There was no right move to make. "I wish you could go with me." That wouldn't be proper unless she were his wife and she would never agree to marry him until she trusted him.
"Where were planning to travel to?" Francesca had noticed that Colin and Penelope were drawing even more attention to themselves.
"Italy. I am sure there is time to cancel my plans." What if someone else asked for Penelope's hand while he was abroad? His actions today although meant to reassure Penelope, had also shown how desirable she was.
"Do not cancel your plans." When Penelope thought about it she, up until her family's ball had no reason not to trust Colin. "Your letters from Greece painted such an intriguing picture that I always thought they would make an excellent book. Perhaps that is your purpose. I will not stand in the way of that."
"You wrote to Penelope while you were in Greece?" Francesca was learning so much about her brother today. "Is there a reason why you could not do so from Italy?"
"No, but …" He had never thought of writing a book. Her responses to his letters while he was in Greece had outnumbered the ones received from his family combined. If this was what it took to gain back her trust and give him some purpose, he would have to put some faith in their friendship that she would be there for him to propose to next season.
"Then go. I doubt my circumstances will have changed while you are gone." Unfortunately that was the one thing she could be certain of.
"I will go if you consent to go to Antony and Kate's wedding with me and promise to write back while I am in Italy." He knew he was asking a lot of her but he was determined to spend as much time with her as possible before he left for Italy. He held him breath waiting for her response.
"If you will consider turning your letters from your travels into a book." She was not above doing some bargaining of her own.
"You have given me a lot to consider." He nodded.
Francesca clapped her hands in delight. "That's settled. Shall we go and get some ice cream?"
"That sounds lovely." Penelope smiled shyly at Francesca's enthusiasm. Besides, she was not eager to head back to her family just yet.
Colin sighed in relief. Thank heavens for Francesca. And thank heavens for Penelope. Had she just handed him the answer to what he had been searching for all this time?
Colin dragged out the afternoon as much as he could, as the longer he spent in her company, the more she relaxed. He wondered how she had managed to be so sweet and yet so cutting as Lady Whistledown. She was so shy unless she was comfortable with you. Or if she was furious.
Penelope Featherington was breathtaking when she was angry. Not that he wished to make her mad. But after what he had witnessed at her home it was no wonder that she spent so much time with Eloise at his family's home.
He had jumped into his engagement with Marina. Penelope meant too much to him to try to rush this. Though he had known her since she was sixteen. Perhaps he had feelings for her since they had met, but they had been simmering under the surface.
Over the years those feelings had grown, but he had convinced himself it was just friendship. How had he been so naïve to think Marina took him seriously? He almost pitied her husband Phillip, but at least he had married Marina knowing what he was getting into. And he was an honourable man.
"If I go to Italy, what would you like me to bring back for you?" He still doubted that it would be a good idea to travel.
The first thought that flew into her head was "You." Nobody had ever asked her opinion or what she wanted. She wasn't sure how to respond. "I don't need anything."
"But what would you like?" It was heartbreaking to him that Penelope had received so few gifts just because someone wanted to give her something nice.
"You do not need to get me anything." Penelope didn't want gifts given out of pity or guilt.
So he would just have to get her something based on what he knew about her. Nothing yellow. He took her hand again. "Do you really think I could write a book?" Perhaps it was best to change the subject.
"Your letters were so descriptive. If they were edited they would make a wonderful book." She had felt as though she had been in Greece right beside him when she read his letters.
"Could you edit them?" It was difficult for him to picture a book he had written. Much less people reading it.
"You trust me to edit your work?" She had only edited her own work. There was a possibility that she could not do the same for someone else.
"Of course." He would trust her with his life. Trust wasn't an issue on his part. Earning her trust back was and maybe this was a better way to do so rather than lavish her with gifts. Although he didn't see a reason he couldn't do both.
"Why don't I start with the letters you sent from Greece." Penelope actually felt excited about this project. She still had all of his letters from Greece even though her first instinct after overhearing his words at the ball was to throw them in the fire. Somehow she hadn't been able to bring herself to do so.
"Thank you." He realised that Penelope had faith in him actually being able to write a book. While he knew his family loved him, he doubted any of them having faith in him accomplishing anything other than charming a young woman into marrying him.
His tone surprised her. He sounded grateful and humbled. She knew a lot was expected of the older Bridgerton siblings. Antony and Daphne were a lot to live up to. At least his family didn't tell him to his face that he was unworthy and would never amount to anything. In fact the Bridgertons were quite the opposite to the Featheringtons.
He walked her home, but dreaded leaving her there. Especially when Prudence was watching them through the window with a sulky expression on her face. Promising to call on her the next day he reluctantly headed home.
"So how is the courting going?" Eloise looked up from her book as he walked in.
"Slowly." He slumped down in an armchair. "Have her family always shown such contempt for her?" He recalled a moment when he had first attempted to court Marina. Portia Featherington had instructed the gentlemen to bid good-bye to Prudence and Phillippa and then included Penelope almost as an afterthought.
Eloise nodded. "I sometimes wondered if when Lady Featherington was expecting Penelope, that she and Lord Featherington had wanted a boy. After two girls, Lord Featherington must have hoped for son to carry on the family name."
"We are lucky, you know." He looked his sister in the eye. "Our parents loved us no matter what. I had witnessed on a couple of occasions how difficult it is for Penelope, but I was always self involved and just overlooked it." Which meant Penelope had even fewer reasons to trust him and yet she had in the past.
"Colin!" Violet Bridgerton breezed into the room with a copy of Lady Whistledown's papers in her hand. "Please tell me that Lady Whistledown has her information wrong."
"It was a stupid mistake on my part which I am trying to correct." He hadn't expected to have to explain his actions to his mother. He almost groaned out loud when Antony followed her. "I had danced with Penelope which Fyfe noticed and he asked if I was courting her." He was getting tired of explaining himself.
Antony let out an understanding sigh. "Of course Fyfe would be interested in Penelope if he thought you had romantic interests in her. Of course he would lose interest when he discovered you did not."
"That is where the stupid mistake comes in." Eloise put aside her book. "Colin told Fyfe he would never be interested in courting Penelope and Penelope overheard."
"So apologise to Penelope. Fyfe will not be bothering her. There is no challenge or competition in courting Penelope Featherington." It seemed straight forward to Antony.
"Colin has, but Pen's not in a forgiving mood at the moment." Eloise could see this was making her brother uncomfortable and took pity on him. "Especially as Colin has discovered he has feelings for Penelope and had not been able to convince Pen that he is in fact courting her."
"I can understand that." Violet seemed to recall a memory. "Penelope has worn her heart on her sleeve for you for years Colin. Imagine how Penelope must have felt hearing that."
"How do I fix this?" This was mounting up to be an impossible task and that just wasn't acceptable. Visions of Penelope marrying someone while he was away in Italy shook him to the core. A week ago travelling around Italy had excited him. Now he was dreading it.
Antony watched his brother cautiously. He could see that Colin desperately wanted to right this wrong. This was more than just soothing a guilty conscious. It was written all over his face. Colin was in love with Penelope Featherington. This was different to his involvement with Marina. It was infatuation with Marina not love.
"Perhaps she just needs some time Colin." Violet was certain that given some space and time Penelope would forgive Colin but she doubted the young woman would stop loving Colin.
"Mother is right. Go to Italy and allow Penelope a chance to realise you didn't mean anything she overheard." Antony just hoped that this would be a case of absence making the heart grow fonder. He had never seen his brother like this.
When Marina's deceit was exposed, Colin had been hurt and felt betrayed. He had done nothing but be a young infatuated fool. With Penelope there was friendship which had clearly grown and blossomed into something more.
Colin sighed in defeat. Antony and his mother had a point. Unlike last season, he would not be extending his travels. If Penelope needed some time, then he could give her time. "I invited Pen to your wedding, but she never gave me a definite answer."
Eloise closed her book and placed it on the side table. "I will be back in a moment." She left the room and walked out the front door, over to the Featherington residence. Taking a breath she knocked on the door. However she had not expected Penelope to answer the door. "We need to talk."
Penelope opened her mouth to reply, but before she could say anything the sound of Prudence shrieking from upstairs pierced their eardrums. "Colin Bridgerton cannot seriously be courting Penelope. He can have his choice of almost anyone. Why would he settle for her?"
The expression on Penelope's face clearly showed that Prudence's appalling behaviour had been going on for some time. "So, what would you like to add to that?"
Sighing with exasperation, Eloise strode past Penelope and up to Prudence. "Actually my brother is seriously courting Penelope. He does not want anyone else and he is not settling for Penelope. He is in love with Penelope." Turning away from Prudence whose jaw was practically on the ground, she looked Portia Featherington in the eye. "Pen will be joining my family for dinner." Grabbing Penelope's hand, she all but dragged Penelope over to the Bridgerton residence and into the room where half of the family was trying to comfort Colin.
"Penelope dear. How lovely to see you." Violet recovered her composure first. "Please join us for dinner. I will send someone over to your mother to let her know."
"I have already informed Lady Featherington that Penelope will be joining us Mama." Eloise waved Penelope over to the empty seat beside Colin. "She had her hands full with Prudence."
"I do not know how well Prudence is coping with Lord Featherington breaking off their engagement." Penelope wasn't sure why she felt the need to explain away her sister's behaviour but sitting amongst the Bridgertons just enforced how different the two families were. And there was no point in informing anyone that the whole engagement was a farce. Although in all honesty the only person who thought the engagement was real was Prudence.
"That did not seem to be the problem a few minutes ago." Eloise muttered.
Clearly Violet Bridgerton was not hard of hearing. Shooting her daughter an annoyed look, Violet turned her attention back to Penelope. "Well, I am sure your sister will find someone better suited for her."
"Perhaps." There were times when it was best to stay quiet. Penelope had learned that lesson some time ago. "Thank you for the invitation to dinner." She had never felt so uncomfortable in this house. There was no knowing what was going through Eloise's mind. Colin was watching her as though he expected her to bolt at any moment. Hyacinth and Gergory were looking at her with great curiosity while Francesca smiled at her in sympathy.
"Of course dear. You are always welcome here." Violet smiled kindly. She had always been fond of Penelope. The young woman spent a great deal of time apologizing for her family's behaviour, but showed respect to her elders, especially in public.
Colin reached out and took hold of Penelope's hand. "Did something happen when I left you earlier?" He didn't think Penelope could look anymore uncomfortable than she had when he had collected her from her home earlier.
"Prudence was just making her opinion heard as usual." Penelope shrugged it off.
One look at Eloise's expression told Colin everything he needed to know. "Well at least you can be free of unwanted opinions while you are here."
Antony quietly observed his family's behaviour around Penelope. He, himself had felt protective towards Penelope especially when Cressida Cowper was around. "I hope you will join my family and attended my wedding to Kate." It was unusual to see Colin struggling to charm a woman. Especially considering this particular young woman had been in love with his brother for years.
"Thank you. And congratulations." Penelope began to relax a little. "How are the wedding plans going?"
"Speedily." Antony chuckled. "Mother and Lady Mary are concerned that Kate and I may argue our way out of our engagement."
Penelope chuckled. "Well perhaps that will mean it will be more intimate with a lot less flowers." The last wedding organized by Queen Charlotte was over the top to say the least. Nobody needed Peacocks at their wedding. She hadn't really accepted his invitation.
"I would be honoured to attend your wedding." Unfortunately that would mean her Mother and Sisters would insist on attending also.
Violet caught the conflicting looks crossing Penelope's face. "Of course because of the limited seating your Mother and Sisters will be seated on the bride's side and you will be seated with the family."
Penelope felt some relief at this. Being amongst the Bridgertons would mean she wouldn't have to listen to the snide remarks that her Mother and Sisters would no doubt make. "You do not have to go to any trouble."
"No trouble at all." Violet caught the quick look of panic on her son's face at the possibility of Penelope not attending the wedding. "You have been part of this family for some time."
It was lovely to be part of a family when her own treated her like a joke. And not just any family: The Bridgertons. She had dreamed of being part of this family, but would they still want her as part of their family when the rest of them found out she was Lady Whistledown.
Dinner was a pleasant affair and she truly did feel as though she was part of the family. It was a shame when it was time to return home. Colin insisted on walking her home. Promising to return for her the next day Colin kissed her good night leaving her feeling weak in the knees.
Every day he showed up on her doorstep with flowers or a gift. Before leaving her every afternoon he would kiss her as though he needed to the same way he needed to breathe. This meant she had the sweetest dreams but as an added bonus, it annoyed her sister to no end.
The day of Kate and Antony's wedding day arrived. Violet Bridgerton had wisely waited until the Featheringtons arrived to inform them that Penelope would be seated with the groom's family while the rest of the Featherington family were seated at the rear of the bride's side. Violet had explained the situation to Lady Mary who had agreed that Portia, Prudence and Phillipa could sit on the bride's side of the church but only if they were at the back of the church.
It was a beautiful ceremony. Kate and Antony only had eyes for each other and Colin never let go of Penelope's hand. It was still a large turnout despite being substantially smaller than Antony's previous attempt at getting married. There were several obvious absences such as Cressida Cowper and Lord Fyfe. When Penelope questioned Colin about it, he simply said that they hadn't been invited.
Colin could feel Portia and Prudence watching them from the back of the church. He almost burst out laughing in the middle of the ceremony at the memory of their faces when they discovered they would be seated at the back of the church while Penelope was not only at the front, but seated amongst the Bridgertons. When he glanced at Eloise who was seated on the other side of Penelope, was obviously suppressing the same instinct to laugh. She still hadn't completely forgiven Penelope, but things were a great deal less frosty between them.
He barely heard the ceremony. Penelope had taken his breath away when she had arrived. It wasn't just the emerald green dress she was wearing, it was the way she carried herself. She walked a little taller as though she had found a strength that she had discovered within herself. There was still a flicker of uncertainty every now and again but she was clever at hiding it.
The reception held more appeal for him. He would be able to have her in his arms and if he had his way it would be for every dance. The guest list had been kept to half the size of the wedding Queen Charlotte had thrown so there was a good chance he could keep Penelope to himself.
He hadn't considered that despite the guest list being reduced, so many who had been invited still stared at the two of them. Even though it was extremely bad manners, people just couldn't hide their curiosity. It would have been something if they at least made some sort of effort.
It wasn't that unbelievable that he could fall for Penelope Featherington. They had been friends for years. If anything, this was a natural progression of their relationship. It felt natural to him at least.
"You are very deep in thought." Penelope almost appeared to be bracing herself for rejection. Although her discomfort could be due to the staring.
Colin knew how observant Penelope was. The Lady Whistledown papers were evidence of that. He just hadn't thought to hide his own observations from her. "How do you live like this? People talking about you and not even having the common decency to hide it." Something even her own Sister did.
"Nobody really notices me, so they do not see any reason to take care when they speak. Even the servants are careless with their idle gossip." This was something she had learned to ignore most of the time. Certain people such as Cressida Cowper made it more difficult to ignore the often scaving remarks than others.
Taking hold of Penelope's hand, Colin led her into another dance. "I noticed you." Granted it was as a friend until recently but he was positive that he couldn't be in the same room with her now and not notice her.
"When do you leave for Italy?" Changing the subject seemed the safest course of action. It was that or melt in the heat of his gaze.
"At the end of next week." He was still in some doubt that it was the best idea. The last thing he wanted was to be away from Penelope right now.
"That will give me a change to edit your letters from Greece into something you could get published on your return." Perhaps if he wrote to her from Italy, she could do the same with those letters.
She was unbelievable. More focused on helping him achieve his purpose than on the spiteful behaviour targeting her. He wondered if she would be respected for what she had achieved as Lady Whistledown or make her situation worse if others knew. Unfortunately it was probably the later. "Where would you travel if you could go anywhere?" This would be the last trip he would take without her by his side if he had anything to say about it.
"I have never travelled outside of this country, so anywhere would be an adventure." She resisted saying "Anywhere as long as it's with you."
"Then I will simply have to surprise you." He had made it perfectly clear over the past week that before the end of next season, Penelope Featherington would be his wife. The Bridgertons were known for their stubborn streaks and although Colin hid his behind a charming façade, it was just as strong as his siblings.
The week leading up to Colin's trip to Italy, he rarely left Penelope's side. Their kisses good night became longer and more fevered. On more than one occasion Portia Featherington became concerned that her youngest daughter may be coming down with a fever as she was so flushed. The comments from the Bridgerton house leaned more towards confirmation that Colin would be marrying Penelope sooner rather than later next season.
The day came for Colin to leave on his travels and he felt a mixture of excitement and dread. He loved to travel but felt as though he was abandoning Penelope. Violet and Eloise promised to keep Penelope company while he was away which helped a bit. It would give Prudence fewer opportunities to verbally attack her sister.
However when he dropped by the Featherington household to say good bye he was surprised to get a warning from Portia Featherington. "If you are playing with Penelope's feelings for you Mr Bridgerton, there will be no amount of charm to save you. Especially from Lady Whistledown."
For a moment he found himself wondering if Portia knew Lady Whistledown's true identity. But then he saw a brief flicker of emotion in her eyes. No, Portia was simply being a protective mother. Better late than never. "And I would deserve it. I fully intend to marry Penelope when I return if she will have me." The one thing he would make sure of was that it would be Penelope's choice. Even if she did not choose to marry him.
Portia studied him for a moment before nodding and leaving to fetch Penelope. There was a nagging suspicion in the back of his mind that Portia may also be insuring that the Featheringtons didn't have to fight off another scandal. If that was the case, she was worried about the wrong daughter. Prudence practically caused a scandal every time she opened her mouth.
"Are you excited to get to Italy?" He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't heard her come down the stairs.
"Yes, but I cannot wait for the day when I can take you with me." Taking advantage of them being alone he wrapped his around Penelope's waist and kissed her as though it was his last day of earth.
"You will be coming back won't you?" Penelope gasped out when they came up for air. Not that she was complaining but Colin kissed her as though he was never going to see her again.
"Of course. But it will be a while until I can be in the same room with you. So I am making the most of being alone with you." The number of times he had thought about staying in town, but that would not convince Penelope that he was serious about marrying her. "Penelope Featherington, will you do me the honour of marrying me when I return from Italy?" He produced a ring from his pocket and slipped it on Penelope's finger.
"Are you certain?" Penelope wanted this, but she had been told so often that she was nothing special that she was positive she would wake to find out this was all a dream.
"Yes I am certain. I would marry you today if it was possible." Proposing and then leaving was not ideal but when he came back and went through with the wedding, Penelope would know he was serious when he told her that he was in love with her and wanted her as his wife.
"Then ask me again when you get back." Penelope slipped the ring off of her finger and handed it back. "If you still want to marry me when you return, I will let Mama know to start planning the wedding." She had not said yes but she had given him hope.
"I love you Penelope Featherington. Fool that I am for not realising it sooner." He put the ring back in his pocket. "I will be counting the days until you are my wife." He raised her hand to his lips. "I will be asking again." Pressing a quick kiss to her lips, he showed himself out.
The following season, Penelope Featherington became Mrs Colin Bridgerton. Lady Whistledown reported details of the wedding that only a select few were invited to. Colin Bridgerton's first novel was published six months later. Lady Whistledown retired around the same time as the birth of Colin and Penelope's first child. Although there were rumours of Lady Whistledown's true identity, only a few people knew the truth and they took that information to their graves.
