'One big mush'
What if Andrew accepted Ashley's proposal to both jump of that balcony one night?
"… Well I don't"
"I wanna jump off the balcony."
"Ooh! I'll race you!"
"HaHahaH"
"No. Seriously, let's go!"
He'd replayed that conversation inside his head for the umpteenth time now- and it still didn't make any sense to him. He knew when Ashley was lying and to his surprise, when she said she'd jump with him, she wasn't. He even could've sworn a hint of sadness had flashed behind her sunken and darkened fuchsia-eyes as she told him. Deciding to sleep on it- hah, like he could with his stomach growling like that- he tried his best to get some rest, eyes unconsciously fixated on his little sister.
Noticing her shift restlessly in her bed, Andrew decided to speak up. "You awake?" he whispered.
"I am now, you shit" Ashley loudly spat back, not a hint of venom present in the clearly empty insult- slightly surprising Andrew.
"Why?" she continued, "come on, spit it-" "Did you mean what you said." Andrew interrupted. "What the fuck are you even talking ab-" "When we were on the balcony Ash, when you said you'd jump with me". The small bedroom went eerily quiet after that, as if all life had been snuffed out within, only the mechanical ticking of their alarm clock disturbing the peace every second. He hadn't expected this kind of a response from her. Of course, he knew the both of them had some major issues- Ashley more so than him, but they had never discussed this kind of topic seriously before. Let alone with the both of them seemingly considering it.
Sensing no response coming, Andrew grew increasingly angry with the games she was playing. "Fine, keep your mouth shut if you wanna be such a bitch about it, forget I even asked" he growled out, mentally cursing himself for even bringing it up. Just as he was about to lay back down again, ready to torture himself back to some semblance of sleep, he heard a creaking noise as a small weight settled down next to him. "What the fuck do you want now?" Andrew said, keeping his face firmly towards the ceiling, avoiding eye-contact with Ashley. "I meant it-" "What?" "- the jumping I mean" Ashley stated, voice quivering ever so slightly as those sad fuchsia eyes of hers locked with his dull emerald ones. Sucking in a deep breath, which was very unlike her (slightly scaring even him), she continued. "We've got no one, not a single one of those bastards gives a damn about us. Not mom, not dad and sure as hell not that bimbo you're so hung up on. I just… I don't know- I just don't care anymore Andy". There was that aggravating nickname again, he could feel anger already bubbling inside him at the mention of it. But somehow… it simmered away instantly as he heard the soft noises of Ashley crying right in front of him- looking oh so vulnerable. Hugging her close to him, he finally replied. "Me too Leyley… me too, I'm so tired all the time. And I refuse to die of starvation in this hell-hole, or-" he paused, clearly thinking about his next words "or seeing you starve to death right in front of me". He instantly wishes he hadn't said that, as she buried her face in his hoodie and continued softly crying- almost as if she was still badly trying to maintain that monstrous attitude of hers. "Come" he whispered, kissing her on that raven-black hair of hers as she looked him in the eye, "let's share one last cigarette". Nodding in silent agreement, she followed him to their balcony for the very last time, silently hoping they'd both really fit in a single coffin.
