Battle. Fight. Win. Lose. These are the words we use when someone is diagnosed with an illness or a disease. We use militarized language that implies it's a fair fight. But when it comes to life and death, what does winning really look like? Is a person a loser for dying when the outcome isn't really in their control?
Catherine was lying in the CT machine, she started singing Ain't No Mountain High Enough. nervously. One of the nurses walked up to her and pushed the button and Catherine went into the machine. Tom and Amelia who were sitting on the other side got her scans.
Webber was at an AA meeting, he and the others were standing in a circle and holding hands
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Kyle just bought coffee from the coffee cart, he walked towards the bench were Tom was sitting and saw that he was playing Operation.
"Oh. Damn it."
"No offense Dr. Koracick, but if any patients see you like that, they might go to another hospital," Kyle said.
"Always gets me in the mood, Tom said. Plus, you know, I'm seeing what daylight feels like while I still can.
"How's Catherine?" Kyle asked.
"She's ready," Tom said.
"And you?" Kyle asked.
"Shh, shh, shh, shh," Tom said, he tried another attempted and removed one of the piece. "Ah. Funny bone. Not as easy as it looks."
"I know," Kyle said.
"Dr. Nolan, I want you to take care of the Neuro department today," Tom said.
"I've got it, Dr. Koracick," Kyle said
"I'm counting on you and so is Amelia," Tom said.
"I won't let you two down, I promise you that," Kyle said.
"Good," Tom said.
"I have to go now, I have patients waiting for me," Kyle said.
Kyle started to walked away, Tom tried to grab another piece and the buzzer went off. Kyle turned around.
"Messing with you," Tom said.
"You're gonna do great. You and Amelia. You're ready," Kyle said.
"Charley horse," Tom said.
Kyle had no idea what Tom meant by that, he left to let Tom continue playing Operation.
Webber entered the hospital and was approached by Meredith.
"There he is. Thought you might need this,' Meredith said, trying to give him the coffee she was holding.
"Oh. No, thanks. But I'm... I'm good. I'm running late for Catherine's scans," Webber said.
"Okay, well, I have cleared all my surgeries today and shored up child care, so I'm here for you, whatever you need, whenever you need it," Meredith said.
"Like I said, I'm good," Webber said.
"Okay, Richard, it's gonna be a very long day," Meredith said.
"Look, Meredith, I have plenty of doctors and plenty of friends looking out for me," Webber said. "You know who doesn't? Your father. Molly had to get back to Bahrain with her kids. He's all alone."
"And I will make time to see Thatcher this week, but today is all about you and Catherine," Meredith said.
"Meredith, Thatcher may not have a week. Now, I know it's never been easy between you two, but the time to change that is running out," Webber said. "Excuse me." And Webber started to get up to stairs.
April arrived at the hospital along with the twins, she got out to get her children out of the car and she heard Arizona calling her name and walking up to the car.
"Hey Arizona, April greeted.
"Can I help you? Arizona asked.
"Please, can you get Quentin out of the car?
"Sure," Arizona said, Arizona walked to the other side of the car and opened to door. "Hi, Quentin." Arizona loosened Quentin seatbelt and got him out of the car, she closed the door and walked with to April.
"Thank you," April said.
"No, Problem," Arizona said. "I thought you weren't working today."
"I'm not here to work, I'm here for Catherine," April said, as she got the stroller out of the back of her car.
"The surgery's today?" Arizona asked.
"Yes," April said. "It's going to be a tough day for Jackson and Webber and I want to be there for them. And also of course for Quentin and Harriet, this is about their grandmother."
"This also seems like a tough day for you too, you and Catherine have a good relationship and now also because your father passed away recently," Arizona said, she looked over at April once she mentioned her father and saw that she looked sad. "Sorry, I didn't mean to"
"It's okay," April said. Let's go inside. April put Harriet and Quentin in the stroller and was about to walk to the hospital, but Arizona stopped her.
"Hey I know you're there for Jackson and Richard and you probably think you need to act big for them," Arizona said.
"I don't think that," April said.
"April, I know you," Arizona said, she put her hand on April's shoulder. "I want you to know I'm here for you if you need me."
"Thank you, Arizona," April said, she gave Arizona a quick hug. Together the two doctors walked to the hospital with the twins.
Catherine was in her room, reading one of the cards she got. The door opened and Webber walked in.
"Oh, I'm sorry I missed your scan, he said.
"Oh, please. I went in. I came out. Same as the first million times, Catherine said.
"Well, I could have been there for you, Webber said.
"You had a good excuse, Catherine said.
The door opened and Jackson and April walked in with the twins.
"Look who are here to see grandma," April said.
"My beautiful grandbabies," Catherine said, she was about to get up to get them out the stroller
"Let me get her for you. Relax," Jackson said.
"Do you two want to go to Grandma?" April asked her kids. She and Jackson taking their kids out of the stroller
"There is my beautiful granddaughter," Catherine said, as Jackson put Harriet on Catherine's bed. And then April placed Quentin on the other side of Catherine. "And there is my handsome grandson."
"Did Koracick re-check the CT angio?" Jackson asked.
"Yes, and please stop. I appreciate both of you wanting to be a part of this, but I have a crackerjack neuro team. I need you to be my husband and my son today," Catherine said.
There was a knock on the door and Tom along with Amelia entered the room, with the computer; "And we need you to be our patient," he said.
"Hmm, Thomas, you're getting ready to cut open my spine. I will be whatever I want, Catherine said.
"Oh. Music to my ears," Tom said, he pressed the button and a model of Cathine's spine showed up on the screen. "Now, we will go in posteriorly with our stealth system and our newly pilfered ORBEYE scope."
"The plan is to go in and remove it en bloc," Amelia explained.
"And you really think that posteriorly is the way to go?" Jackson asked.
"Oh, it is fun to have so many surgeons in one family," Tom giggled. "Remind me, Avery... when did you become double board certified in neuro?"
"That's really how you talk to your patient's family?" A now annoyed Jackson asked.
"It is, actually," Tom said.
"We need to go in posteriorly to avoid the carotid and the jugular, and to avoid having to weave through the brachial plexus," Amelia explained.
"Look, I know how hard it is to be on the bench, but we are the A-Team. And we don't lose. Just ask Shepherd's tumor. Oh, wait, you can't. Because I removed it. Flawlessly," Tom said.
"Okay, any last questions?" Amelia asked.
"Um... it looks like you've got this," Webber said.
"We do," Tom said, he looked over at Catherine who gave kisses on her grandchildren's foreheads.
"I'm good, "she said. "But, you know, I-I um." April and Jackson took Quentin and Harriet of the bed. Catherine got up. "I think I'd like to just take a little walk before we get started."
Webber grabbed Catherine rob and helped her put in on; "I'd be happy to..."
"Oh, no, honey. I want to go alone," Catherine said, she gave her husband a kiss and walked towards the door.
"Okay, then, but no guarantees I won't watch you walk away," Tom said.
"You always do," Catherine said. She opened the door and left the room.
Meredith had gone to Thatcher's house, she walked up the stairs to door, she looked through the window but saw no one. She was about the ring to bell, put she pulled back, she sighed and then she rang the bell. She saw a man in scrubs walk to the door and open it.
"Hi. I'm..."
"Meredith?" Phillip asked.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry. You look just like your picture," Phillip said. "You're the surgeon, right?"
"Yeah," Meredith said.
"Uh, do you want to come in?" Phillip asked.
"That's a loaded question," Meredith said.
Phillip opened the screen door and let Meredith into the house.
"I'm not sure if he's awake. He sleeps more and more these days as you can imagine," Phillip said.
"Uh, can I get you something? Water? Gin, maybe?"
"I'm good," Meredith said.
Phillip started walking to the living room and Meredith followed him.
"Thatcher? You have a visitor," he said and then the left to the kitchen.
The brown chair were Thatcher was sitting in turned around and Thatcher saw Meredith standing
"Meredith!" Thatcher said. "Hi..."
"Hi."
Phillip walked in and gave Thatcher some water; "He's not on any pain meds. Clean and sober. His wishes. So, just the oxygen, if he needs it. But you know how that works."
"I do," Meredith said.
Well, I'll leave you to it. My cellphone number is on the fridge. If you need anything, give me a call, Phillip said as he walked away and left the house.
"I probably can't stay very long. I just...," Meredith began.
"There's so much to say, I-I... I don't know what to say," Thatcher said.
"I didn't come here to say anything or to hear you say anything to me, so... we can just sit, if that's okay," Meredith said.
"Okay."
Meredith said down and there was no word said anymore between her and Thatcher.
Catherine walked into the O.R. and looked around, she touched the table and sighed. Jackson entered the O.R.
"Mom. I was looking for you," Jackson said. "You know I give Amelia and Koracick a hard time, but they're the best."
"I was thinking about my first surgery. The very first time I held a scalpel in my hand. It was a simple lipoma, but I was terrified," Catherine said. "I expected to feel so powerful, invincible. But the second that scrub nurse put that blade in my hand, I went ice cold."
"Okay, so then what did you do?" Jackson asked.
"Diana Ross. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," Catherine said. "The first time I heard that song, it just filled me with joy and such calm... so I just sang it over and over and over in my head, in that O.R., until that same sense of calm. and joy washed over me. And it's been my secret weapon for everything that's ever scared me... my first surgery. Labor with you, it was on an endless loop. Every PET scan, every MRI."
"I remember you singing that song in the kitchen when I was doing my homework," Jackson said.
"You told me it was old people music," Catherine said. "You wanted Michael Jackson."
"I love me some Michael," Jackson said.
"Ooh, I had to pry that red leather jacket off of you to get you to go to bed at night," Catherine laughed.
"Ah, that's true," Jackson said.
"Oh."
"I guess I used to do the same thing. My first surgery, I sang a song in my head. I mean, it calmed me, you know?" Jackson said.
Catherine took her son's hands; "I know. I watched you," Catherine said.
"My first... How did you watch?" He asked.
"Child, please. I'm Catherine Fox. Do you think there's a world where I wouldn't sneak into the gallery of my baby's first surgery? Oh, you were a sight to see..." Catherine sighed and then she got a smile on her face. "I bet Harriet and Quentin will do the same thing someday."
"Well, I'll be sneaking up into the gallery with you, then," Jackson said.
"Deal," Catherine said, as she held out her pinky finger.
"That's a deal," Jackson said grabbing his mother's pinky finger with his. "Now, can we please get you to your room?"
"Not yet," Catherine said, she reached into her gown and grabbed piece of paper.
"Mom..."
"I left the foundation in your name, just in case anything happens to me. Cecilia runs the day-to-day operations, Charlie keeps the books humming, but they'll need a leader, a North Star. And in the event that I'm left totally paralyzed..."
"Mom, even if you can't operate, you're still gonna run the foundation, okay? You'll teach. You're Catherine Fox. What are you gonna do? You're gonna be all up in my business and everybody else's. We both know you're gonna find a way to do that. Keep this."
"Turn the page," Catherine said.
"I've already..."
"Turn the page," she repeated.
Jackson turned the page and looked what was written; You planned your own party? He asked. Mom.
"If I get out of this alive, the fun we're gonna have... and don't you even think about scrimping on those egg rolls. You know they're my favorite," Catherine said.
"You really planned everything," Jackson said.
"I always do," Catherine said.
"All right, then," Jackson said as he gave Catherine his arm. "Shall we?"
Catherine took Jackson's arm and together they left the O.R. and walked back to Catherine's room.
Meredith looked around Thatcher's house and looked at one of the many paintings.
"Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. Phillip put these everywhere for me. He said it's supposed to be soothing. Truth be told, it just makes me miss it more," Thatcher said. "A few years back, a student told me about a semester he took abroad building schools. Lexie was gone, and I thought I could either drown my grief in a "bottle of Scotch or do something. So I did something. "
"In Zimbabwe?
"The sunsets, Meredith... and the quiet. The people that I met, they have this passion for life, loving, learning...," Thatcher said.
"And then you got sick," Meredith said.
"I thought I'd just come home, do whatever treatment I needed to do, and then go back, but...
It was good. Coming home. It gave me a chance to... It was the right thing to do," Thatcher said.
"You went and got a whole new life," Meredith took of her bag and sat down next to her father.
"I did," he said.
"I'm glad for you. I'm glad you saw sunsets and built schools for people who needed them and you stayed sober. You went and got a whole new life. Halfway across the world this time. But you didn't give a damn about the people you left behind," Meredith said.
Tom and Amelia were walking down the hall, going over their surgery plan again.
"Say it again, Tom said.
"We make an incision posteriorly from C3 to T4, and then use the stealth probe to mark the coordinates of the tumor, Amelia said.
"And then do partial laminectomies to access the tumor and remove it en bloc, Tom said, as he and Amelia grabbed shoe covers from the supply rack.
"Perfect. Brilliant," Amelia said.
"We are incredible," Tom said.
"Someone should really do a study on us," Amelia said, she sat down and put on the shoe covers. "Okay, say it."
"What? Wh... Oh. No. Ha ha! I'm good," Tom said. "Good, good, good, good. Big Gun. Ready to Big Gun the crap out of this tumor." He sat down and put on the shoe covers. "Damn it. Even my arrogance is off."
"Right?"
"Right. W-What if we try, uh, your thing? You know, the... the word-vomit and the feelings? That seems to work. For you," Tom said.
"Okay."
"You... you first," Tom said.
"This is the largest tumor I've ever seen on the biggest legend I've ever known, and if I screw this up, I'm gonna have to live out the rest of my ill-fated surgical career fixing idiot teenagers who get hurt cow-tipping in Lawrence, Kansas, because I can't look Richard in the eye knowing I gorked his legend wife."
"That is specific," Tom said.
"Well..."
"I'm saying, how do you get hurt cow-tipping?"
"It's a thing," Amelia said. "Just... You. Go."
"Uh, Catherine Fox is an icon, and a magician, and a giant among men... and not just for the reasons you think. She's saved more penises in her O.R. than any surgeon on the planet. And all I keep imagining are the dozens of men with zero-functioning penises, doomed to live out their sexless lives if I botch this surgery."
"That's what you're worried about?" Amelia asked. "Men and their junk?"
"That, and if I lose her... I've lost enough," Tom said.
"So let's keep her alive," Amelia said, she stood up and took her superhero pose.
"Let's keep her alive," Tom said, he got up and also took the superhero pose.
Jackson, April and Webber walked with the O.R. staff to O.R and escorted Catherine there.
"I told them I didn't need a personal escort to my own surgery," Catherine said.
"Well, that's just making sure you don't make a break for it," Jackson said.
"Thomas, make sure that I wake up with good motor and nerve function," Catherine said, as she was helped getting on the table. "And don't forget to get clean margins."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Tom said.
"And would you tell my husband he does not have to sit up in that gallery all day? "For better, for worse" does not include seeing your wife's insides," Catherine said.
"You know, you wouldn't be you if you weren't bossing us all around up until the last second," Webber said.
"You nervous?" Amelia asked Catherine.
"Were you?" She asked as she took Amelia's hand.
"A little bit. But I turned out just fine," Amelia said.
"That's because I was perfect, which I'm willing to be again," Tom said.
"Well, you better be," Webber said.
"Oh, Richard, I always liked you," Tom said.
"No, you didn't," Webber said. And I'm fine as long as she's fine."
"Okay, okay, can I have a minute with my husband, please?" Catherine asked. Tom and Amelia walked away. Catherine pulled down Webber's mask and gave him a kiss and then a hug. "I will see you... when I wake up." Catherine put Webber's mask back on. "Jackson? Where's Jackson?"
Suddenly the song Ain't no mountain high enough started playing, Catherine started to laugh and Jackson walked up to his mother.
"One for the road?" Jackson said.
"Oh, ha ha! My baby!" Catherine said.
Jackson helped his mother of the table and everyone in the O.R. started dancing to the song and singing along with song. Once the song was over everyone stopped dancing, Jackson helped his mother back to the table.
"April, dear, come here," Catherine said.
"What is it, Catherine?" April said as she walked over to Catherine.
Catherine grabbed April's hands; Thank you for being here.
"That's what you do for the people you care about," April said.
"And thank you again for dinner the other night, you made an excellent meal," Catherine said.
"It was no problem," April said.
"Now you look after my baby boy, while I'm here," Catherine said.
"Mom," Jackson sighed feeling annoyed.
"You know how he is," Catherine said.
"I'll look after him," April said.
"I knew I could count on you," Catherine said.
Tom and Amelia had started Catherine operation, while the song Mustang Sally was playing.
"Just like that, we are ready to navigate," Tom said.
"Don't you want to confirm the accuracy first?" Amelia asked.
"Oh, what would I do without someone here to remind me of the obvious?"
"I'm just saying, maybe a little less music, a little more concentration," Amelia said.
"All you want to do is ride around, Sally Ride, Sally, ride Whoo!" Tom sang
"This is going to be a long day," Amelia said.
"And you are gonna love every minute of it. We're gonna get down in there. Get down and dirt. Here we go."
Jackson, April and Webber were in the gallery watching every step that was going on. Bailey entered the gallery.
"Mind if I join you?" She asked.
"I'd like that," Webber said.
"How's the resection going?" Bailey asked as she sat down in the seat next to Webber.
"So far so good," Jackson said.
"Are you sure you don't want to be in the waiting room? I can watch, and I can report back to you guys," April said.
"No, I'm fine right where I am," Webber said.
"I-I'm good," Jackson said.
Meredith was stilling at Thatcher's house, she hadn't said a word to him after getting mad at him.
"You're mad," Thatcher said.
"I'm not mad," Meredith said.
"Meredith..."
"Fine. I'm mad," Meredith said.
"Because I moved away," Thatcher said.
"Because you ran away. Because you have never fought for anyone or anything that you cared for in your life. You just disappear," Meredith said. "When I gave you a piece of my liver, you said we would try, right? You said we could get to know each other. You didn't try. You didn't fight. And when Lexie died..."
"I know. I know," he said.
"No, you don't know, because you weren't here. I lost my sister. I lost my husband. And you were nowhere to be found," Meredith said.
"That's not...," Thatcher began. "Meredith, I was there after Derek died."
"No, why would you say something like that?" Meredith asked.
"Because it's the truth, Meredith. Richard told me Derek died. I bought a ticket. I flew all day, all night. I got to the funeral just... just in time. I stood a few rows back. Next to some of your doctor friends from the hospital."
"I would remember if you were at his funeral," Meredith said.
"I was there, Meredith. But you were barely there. You were a ghost. You looked like me when I lost Susan and Lexie," Thatcher said.
"Are you saying you came to the funeral and didn't speak to me?" Meredith asked.
"I felt like it would... would have been for me, not... not... not... For... for you," Thatcher said, but he could barely say because he started to cough so much.
Meredith got and walked over to Thatcher; "Let's get you to the bed," she said, she helped Thatcher up and brought him to his bed. She grabbed the oxygen tank and gave Thatcher the mask.
"I came home, Meredith. For you," Thatcher said.
"Tom and Amelia were still on Catherine's surgery with music blasting through the O.R.
"This microscope is a game changer," Amelia said.
"I know. I feel like I could just walk into the screen and surf on the spinal cord, Tom said and then he started singing again. Never for money, always for love Cover up and say goodnight Say goodnight
"All right... it looks like we are clear to remove the tumor en bloc," Amelia said, but then she noticed something. "Except... hang on. I can't get it free."
"Okay, then. Time to suck and pluck," Tom said.
"I'm sorry, what?" Amelia asked.
"The tumor's like a grape. You suck out the inside, then you pluck out the skin. Suck and pluck," Tom said.
"Could you call it something else?" Amelia suggested.
"Like what?" Tom asked.
"Literally anything else," Amelia said.
Jackson was frustrated and pacing through the gallery, keeping his eye on his mother's surgery.
"I hate this dude, Jackson said.
"Jackson, sit, Webber said.
"No, I hate him. For real. I want to jump through this glass and just, like, choke him out, Jackson said.
"Jackson, please try to stay calm, April said.
"He is bopping. He's bopping over my mom's spine, so don't tell me to stay calm April," Jackson said.
"Come we are going for a walk", April said.
"But…"
"No, come you need a walk," April said.
"I'm going for a walk," Jackson said.
April stood up, she reached out to Jackson, he took her hand and together they left the gallery.
"You gonna lecture me, on how I shouldn't be here?" Webber asked.
"You shouldn't be," Bailey said. "Richard, this can't be good for you either."
"The first year or so Catherine and I were together, we figured out how to make the long distance work because we'd promise to show up whenever we needed, however we needed. It's what you do for the people you love. She may fuss, but I don't need to ask her where she wants me to be. I'm already here."
"Have you called Maggie yet?" Bailey asked.
"Yeah, she wanted to be here, but couldn't because of work, she wishes everyone luck," Webber said.
"It's not decompressing," Amelia said.
"What do you mean it's not decompressing?" Tom said.
"It's too dense, like it's made of... I don't know what... cartilage, small chips of hard calcifications," Amelia said.
"Damn it. I can't get it either. kill the music," Tom said, the nurse turned the music of, this got Webber's attention and he stood up. "We need to go in from the front."
"Her spine is open. It's all exposed. If we move her, we risk losing function in her forearm and hand," Amelia said.
"It's the only way," Tom said.
"Okay, well, let me ask you one question first...," Amelia said. "Are you insane?"
"We close up the incision. We flip her onto her side. I go in from the front. We meet in the middle to decompress and unearth this thing," Tom said.
"So the answer is yes, you are insane," Amelia said.
"We'll get a few more people in here, we can flip her," Tom said.
"And keep her still and not sever her spine? Not to mention having to break scrub, re-drape, rescrub...," Amelia said.
"Cow-tipping in Kansas!"
"Dozens of sexless men!"
"If it were you again on the table, what would you want?" Tom asked.
Amelia looked up at Webber, who looked super worried, she turned back to Tom and sighed; "For the record, I do not like you."
"Shut down the gallery," Webber said to Bailey and she nodded her head.
Jackson and April were sitting on the gurney in the basement. April looked over Jackson and he just stared with a face full of sadness and tears in front of him, she took his hand.
"Mom's always been larger than life, you know? Laughs harder, yells louder than anyone. She's the life of the party. Even if it's my birthday party and she's taking over the dance floor," Jackson said.
"Sounds amazing," April said.
"I was 16. It was mortifying," Jackson said. "She'd always do that. She always inserted herself in every single aspect of my life."
"I know, whether you wanted to or not, she would find a way to inserted herself," April said.
"And, um... Now I can't, uh... I can't imagine what a room would even feel like without her in it taking up all that space," Jackson said. It was different... when we lost…"
"When we lost Samuel," April said.
"That was more like... like my world collapsing around me. And this, I just... I feel like... a scared little kid," Jackson said.
"Like nothing is safe. Like the world's upside down and nothing makes any sense anymore," April said, she couldn't help herself to also get tears.
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"I don't like it," Jackson said.
"I know," April said.
"I don't like it," Jackson said.
"I know. I know," April said, she sat closer to Jackson, he rested his head on her shoulder and cried, she tried to comfort him as best as she could.
Bailey had closed down the gallery, only she and Webber were to only ones there to watch. Tom and Amelia had closed up the incision.
"Okay. Let's rock and roll," Tom said.
"On my count, one, two, three," Amelia said, she and the others carefully flipped Catherine over.
"Good, good, good. Easy," Tom said. "Let's secure her hips."
"She's good," Amelia said.
"Okay, they did it. She's okay," Bailey said.
"You ready, BokHee?"
"Okay. Deep breath, everybody," Amelia said. "Scalpel."
BokHee handed Amelia the scalpel. Amelia looked at Tom who just stood frozen and looked at Cathirine with a look of fear in his eyes.
"Dr. Koracick? Tom," Amelia said. Tom snapped out of frozen state and looked at Amelia. "I think I'm gonna have trouble getting around the C7 facet while keeping the tumor retracted from this angle. Maybe you could give it a try?"
"Please, I could do that in my sleep," Tom said.
"Show off."
"Scalpel."
Thatcher put down the oxygen mask and Meredith gave him some water.
"Is that when you and Richard started talking? After the funeral?" Meredith asked.
"I tried calling you. You never called back. And I worried. At first, I was just checking in on you. Mm, Richard and I started... talking about a lot of things. We both had amends to make. There are so many things. I could say I'm sorry for, Meredith. But all I really want to say is thank you."
"Thank you for what?" Meredith asked.
"For so long, I measured my life in the things done to me, taken from me. Now I can see my life for exactly what it is. Some people have more pain than others. But no one, nothing, was conspiring against me, Thatcher said. When you gave me a piece of your liver, you gave me time, precious time.
"Time to get your head out of your own ass?" Meredith asked.
"Y... Y... You could say that. I had a life, Meredith, because of you. My own real, honest, painful, incredible life. I just wish you and I could have shared it," Thatcher said.
"Well, I guess you did try this time, I just didn't know," Meredith said.
"I miss Lexie. I miss her so much," Thatcher said.
"Me too," Meredith said.
"I'm sorry you lost her. I know how much it... it meant to you, having a sister," Thatcher said.
"I've another sister," Meredith said.
"But you and Molly, you were never close," Thatcher said.
"Her name is Maggie," Meredith said
"Oh…"
"She is brilliant and kind. She is the best of Ellis and Richard," Meredith told Thatcher.
"Your… your mother and Richard had a baby?" Thatcher asked and Meredith nodded her head. "At least something good came from all that."
Time just kept passing and Tom and Amelia were still on Catherine's surgery.
"I'm gonna get a humpback operating with you," Tom said.
"I'm already standing on a step stool. What more do you want from me?" Amelia said.
"Heels?" Tom joked. "Okay, it looks like the tumor is free of the brachial plexus. Should we try to pull it out?"
"Let's do it," Amelia said.
"We've lost all the signal from one arm."
"The tumor is moving pretty easily. Check your machine. Could be artifact," Tom said.
"No, there's still a little tension from my side. I... I think it's coming from the root," Amelia said.
"Which means there's no way to remove this without...," Tom began.
"Risking paralysis."
"If they can't remove the whole tumor, they're gonna have to do it piecemeal."
"But then they risk leaving some of the tumor behind," Bailey said. Webber put his hand on Bailey's shoulder and she looked at him and from the look on his face she saw that he got an idea. "What?"
Webber stood up and walked to the intercom; "My path pen. Remove the tumor piecemeal, and then use the pen to see if you got it all. Okay, it hasn't cleared FDA process yet, and it isn't on the market, but I'm telling you, it works."
"I really have always liked you, Richard," Tom said.
"No, you haven't," Webber said.
"Yes, get it," Amelia said.
Webber didn't hessite for a second and ran out of the gallery to go get his path pen.
Meredith and Thatcher were talking and each sharing their stories about Ellis.
"And that twitch over her right eye when you switched the ice maker from cubed to crushed, Meredith laughed.
"What kind of a monster crushes ice? It's uncivilized," Thatcher laughed.
"Crushed ice was uncivilized," Meredith laughed.
"Taking my last cup of coffee...," Thatcher began.
"Uncivilized."
"Getting an A- in Chem Lab," Meredith said.
"Uncivilized."
"She was...," Thatcher began.
"Kind of a tyrant," Meredith said.
"But brilliant," Thatcher said.
"Oh, I can't argue with that," Meredith said. Terrible driver.
"Can't argue with that," Thatcher said. But she was extraordinary.
"Yeah," Meredith said. "Do you regret marrying her?"
"The entire time she was pregnant with you, she pretended she wasn't. I don't know if it was stubbornness or denial. Maybe both. Nine months, she had to do everything herself. And I had to let her. The night she went into labor, she came home after surgery, and she just stood in the doorway, wide-eyed. "We're having a baby, Thatch. We're having a baby." As if the idea just hit her, right there, Thatcher said, he started having trouble breathing and put the mask on for a second. She... She started to laugh. She couldn't stop laughing. Laughed all the way to the hospital. I never heard her laugh like that, so big, so free. And I just thought, "Wow. What a way for you to come into the world." We weren't perfect. We weren't even happy a lot of the time. But I'd marry her all over again for that night, that laugh. And you. And this. I'd do it all again for this."
April had gone to the chapel and sat down in the front.
"Please, I'm asking you, God, don't do this to the people who love Catherine, keep her safe and let her stay here, with her family, with the people who love her so much and can't miss her, please God, please," April said.
Tom and Amelia were still in the O.R. working on Catherine.
"How can there still be cancer there? We've been at this for hours. It's still lighting up like Christmas," Tom said.
"Let's just keep going. We'll hit clear tissue eventually," Amelia said.
"Signal's fading again. She's losing function in her arms.
"We've barely touched anything," Tom said.
"Breathe, we are going in the right direction," Amelia said.
"Losing the signal in her other arm..."
"Okay, stop it! We know! If we keep going, we cost Catherine her motor function, her career, her life as she knows it... we know!" Amelia yelled.
Everyone was quiet after that, Amelia looked up at the gallery and just saw the worried expression on Webber's face looking at her.
Meredith sat on the edge of Thatcher's bed and giving him some water.
"Meredith..."
"Okay, don't try to speak," Meredith said.
"But... the closet, I left something...," Thatcher said.
"I don't need anything," Meredith said.
"For your kids. I wish... I wish I knew them. I thought of... I thought of them," Thatcher said, Meredith held his hand and he placed her hand against his cheek. "Ahh. Your hands are so cold."
"Sorry, I can...," Meredith said.
"No, no, no. Oh, it feels good," he said, placing Meredith other hand on his other cheek.
"Zola is so smart and so strong," Meredith said.
"Yeah?"
"And she keeps me on my toes every minute of every day. And Bailey says "funny" before every sentence. "Funny, I'd like an apple. Funny, I need pajamas." It's so cute," Meredith said. "And Ellis... she is brave. And she's obsessed with hip-hop. They are exhausting... and amazing. I wish you knew them, too. Because they are so, so beautiful."
A little smile appeared on Thatcher's face and then he closed his eyes, letting out his last breath. Meredith took Thatcher's hands and laid them together.
Hours had past and Catherine's surgery was done. Jackson, April, Webber, Tom and Amelia all were in her room. Catherine lying in recovery slowly started to wake up.
"How..."
"Easy, easy, mom," Jackson said, as he walked over to his mother.
"How... How...," Catherine repeated.
"Easy, easy, easy, easy. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh."
"Hey, Jackson said.
Tom was doing some reflex test on Catherine's arm and she turned to him with a soft smile; "I feel that.
"Okay. Hold on, hold on," Tom said, doing another reflex test on her other arm. "All right. Well, your reflexes are normal."
"My hands and feet move. Whoo," Catherine cheered. "I'm not dead? With that tumor?"
"No, you're most definitely not dead," Jackson said.
"Oh, I thought for sure they were gonna kill me," Catherine said. Everyone's smile slowly faded away and Catherine noticed it. "What? Tell me."
"Catherine, when we went in to get the tumor, it was adherent to your brachial plexus," Amelia said.
"We were able to remove about 95% of it, but we had to leave one nodule behind," Tom said.
"So... radiation? Chemo?" She asked.
"They've had some success with proton beam therapy," Amelia said.
"Some?"
"It's likely, even with treatment...," Tom said.
"I'll have to live with this cancer the rest of my life," Catherine said. "I was sure you'd get it all or kill me trying."
"So did we," Tom said.
"Catherine, I'm so sorry,' Amelia said.
"Sorry? I'm alive. I can live with this for many years. People live with cancer. We've all seen it happen," Catherine said.
"You're gonna have to get, uh, scans every three months to make sure the tumor doesn't, uh, grow," Tom said.
"And in between, I'll operate. And I'll hug my son, Catherine said. "Make love to my husband."
"Okay, I didn't need to know that one," Jackson said.
"Play with my two gorgeous grandchildren, have brunches with April, make mistakes, and fight about who gets to pick the movie on date night," Catherine said. "You two have given me my life back."
"Now what? Because we didn't plan on this," Jackson said.
"These two pulled off a miracle. Miracles aren't always punctuation marks. But they are worth celebrating," Catherine said. "So we are gonna have that party. We just might have to wait a couple of months so I can get on the dance floor." She turned to Webber and looked at him with a loving gaze. "I love you."
Webber gave Catherine a kiss on her forehead; "I love you too."
"We'll give you guys a moment alone," Amelia said. She and Tom left the room.
"I should go too" April said.
"No, April, stay, you're still a part of this family," Catherine said.
"Okay, then," April said.
"So glad you are still here mom, Jackson said.
"Me too, like I just said I still want to do lots of things, Catherine said, she turned to her son. So, Jackson when am I going to meet your new girlfriend?
"How do you know...? Jackson asked, Catherine said nothing and looked at April, now Jackson turned to April, who just tried to look away.
"It may have come up during one of our brunches," April said. "In my defense I thought she already knew.
"It's okay, Jackson said. I'll invite Rachel to lunch sometime."
"Good idea, I'll see if she's good enough for my boy," Catherine said.
"Mom."
"You know how I'm," Catherine laughed.
"I know, you'll never stop inferring in my life," Jackson said.
"I'll never stop interfering in your life," Catherine said.
"And as much as I hate it sometimes, I'm glad you're always there for me, mom," Jackson said.
"Everything for my, son," Catherine said.
"I love you," Jackson said.
"I love you, too," Catherine said.
"Get some rest, Catherine, It's been a long day for you," April said.
"For you too, so let's all get our rest," Catherine said.
"I have a meeting to go to and I'm going to update Maggie," Webber said.
"Go Richard," Catherine said.
"I'll see you soon, Webber said, he gave Catherine a kiss and left the room.
"You guys can go too," Catherine said to Jackson and April.
"I'll stay a while," Jackson said.
Yeah, me too, April said.
Tom had gone to the chapel and sat down on one of the benches.
"I saved my friend today, David. I didn't think I-I could, and it wasn't perfect. Your dad was kind of a badass," Tom said.
Catherine was asleep, Jackson was still in her room, April entered with some chips and some drinks, she sat down next to Jackson and gave him his chips and drink.
"Here you go."
"Thank you," Jackson said. "And thank you for being here for us today."
"For family, anytime," April said.
Amelia had gone with Webber to the AA meeting and was telling the group about the surgery.
"I operated on a freaking legend's spine today. And it was terrifying. And exhilarating. And imperfect. Mostly terrifying. Because she's not just a legend. She matters so much to so many people that I love..., Amelia said. Most of my life, I have been chasing the kind of high that I feel right now. I gave a surgeon back her hands today. I gave a husband his wife, a son his mother. And I'm so incredibly grateful to be sober... to be present enough to have felt every terrifying, exhilarating, imperfect moment."
Amelia looked over at Webber, who looked at her with a look of proud.
Meredith was home and she gave her kids the gifts that Thatcher had gotten form them; "There you go, sweethearts, she said and her three kids starting to unpack the gifts.
"Wow. So cool. Where did you get it, Mommy?" Zola asked.
"Uh, your grandfather, Thatcher. He wanted you to have it, and he wanted you to know that he cared about you very much...," Meredith said.
"Funny, I love it," Bailey said, putting the mask he got in front of his face.
"Mommy, are you okay?" Zola asked, seeing that her mother looked a bit sad.
"Yes, Zo-Zo. I will be fine, Meredith said.
Next Time: It is Christmas time and each of the doctors has his and her plans for the holiday. April volunteers at a children's hospital and encounters someone there she didn't expect. With Sofia in New York, Arizona stays at the hospital and spends Christmas with Storm.
