Is she your Ride-or-Die bitch?
Does she know I'm tattooed onto your heart?
You can try to fight it
I have left my mark on you
There is nothing you can do
She's Not Me / Lana Del Rey (Unreleased)
Alexis was fucking exhausted. All she wanted was to fall into bed and sleep the morning away. Johnny was coming to pick her up after, she was going to be the distraction at the Gentleman's club Joker planned to crash, which meant she needed her rest so she could be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning, ready to play lounge singer. Getting Friday night off had been hard, but after just a couple more vaguely threatening comments about her relationship with the Joker, Vinnie grudgingly told her to 'do whatever'.
Alexis liked running with Joker's guys. They were exciting, and all of them were so nice all the time- except Joker himself of course. Alexis had tried to get his attention multiple times, but at first, he only seemed to view her as a useful addition. But Alexis had seen what the future could be. With Harley Quinn running her own shit now, there was an opening. A woman-shaped opening that looked like a perfect fit to Alexis.
She imagined herself the pampered housewife of a Mob-Boss. Nice clothes, and automatic protection in the job description. And all she had to do was have sex with and be affectionate with the scarred-up clown.
Alexis had found it difficult at first- his aura frightening, but as time went on and his complete indifference lasted, Alexis had begun getting brave in her moves. Dying a strip of her hair purple, dressing more provocatively, but none of it swayed him at all. Of course, as time want on there were situations where Joker had done something ao frightening that it made her rethink her plan, but she always circled back around to it, knowing that she could take care of herself.
The first time she had called herself Punchline, Joker seemed shocked, and upon making it into the getaway car, he watched her for a moment before breaking into laughter that terrified Alexis. "You are one brave woman, I'll tell you that." He had laughed, patting her head. Alexis asked what he meant, but he only shook his head and gave her a side-eyed smirk.
After that Alexis had grown embarrassed and did not continue her advances for a while, before her dad had died, taking away her last living relative- the last bit of her support system. Her efforts had continued tenfold, but it was like he was actively ignoring her now.
Opening her apartment door, she slung her work duffel aside and closed the door behind her before reaching to turn on the always flickering light.
"Don't turn on the lights." The voice was fluid and nearly oil-slick. Alexis knew who was sitting in her living room now, but didn't want to believe it. Her panicked eyes searched the dark of her apartment, and sitting in the corner, she could see the glowing embers of a cigarette, but nothing else.
"What are you doing in my apartment?" the only answer was a chuckle.
"It's a shame about your dogs, you should have gotten something quieter. I've always hated the little rat-dogs myself."
"Y-you," Alexis paused, before hesitantly answering, with a tremble in her voice, "Gigi?"
"Was that the thing's name? Ugh, Princess and Baby did it a fucking favor in that case."
The woman laughed from the dark. "Speaking of them, I wouldn't make any sudden moves. My pets are trained much better than your little yapper, and you won't get the door open before Baby has torn through your leg. To the bone." her voice changed, and Alexis realized that she had been speaking with the cigarette hanging on her lip. She took it out of her mouth and tapped it out directly onto the table beside her before laughing. With the cigarette gone, the room was pitch black- Alexis was unable to see even a foot in front of her.
"Though, I won't claim to be disappointed if you do. I find their methods fascinating. You know, it is a kind of art, what we do?"
"What do you want from me?" Alexis tried to keep the fear out of her voice.
A sharp sigh sounded. "Alexis Kaye. I would prefer it if you stopped putting on a show. You know why I'm here. You know what I'm going to do."
Alexis trembled, her legs tensing automatically, as though to make a run for it, but a low growl from the invisible darkness, only a couple feet away froze her in the spot. She tried to think fast- something she had always been good at- she had to be.
"Listen- I don't think J would like it if he found out you were coming around my place, trying to scare me. Maybe we should call him?" Alexis pulled out her cell phone, bluffing hard, but hoping the fear of Joker's reaction would save her, the way it had with her boss Vinnie down at Nocturne so many times since she had been running around with Johnny and the guys.
"Sounds good."
"What?"
"I said 'Sounds good.' Go ahead. I'm not hiding this from him. I was planning to go see him after anyway. So call him."
Shit.
"Unless." There was a pause and then a sound that sent chills down Alexis' spine, a loud haunting cackle that seemed to stretch on for hours- Alexis could hear her hand slapping the table in the darkness. "My god, you don't even have his number? Fuck- it's almost a shame, isn't it? I haven't laughed that hard in a while. The saddest part is, I think we would be good friends if the circumstances were different."
"Listen- I never would have tried anything if I knew you two were still together-"
"Sugar, Her voice was saccharine sweet, and stung. "I honestly don't give a good goddamn shit what you thought was going on between J and I at this very moment. You knew he was spoken for. How do I know? Because you know that I am spoken for. This is a matter of principle and respect much more than it is a simple squabble over a man."
"Well, I read your message loud and clear. I won't go near him again."
A giggle sounded from the dark. "You think it's that easy?"
"I-"
"What, you think all it takes is 'Oh- understood absolutely Ms. Quinn, I won't go near him again, and we can all just forget about the fact that I slept with your husband.'"
Alexis went pale and was shaking her head. "Hey, you got it all wrong. Joker never looked my way-"
Her voice came from the other corner of the room now, "Save it. Sugar. I had a very… Transformative talk with your boss yesterday. Vicious Vinnie? Is that what they call him? The alliteration is cute. Anyway, He told me all about you and J. All the fun you two have been having." Her voice was ice-cold by the end of her sentence, and Alexis just mutely shook her head.
"Please- I- I was just lying. I just wanted Vinnie to lay off me at work- He knew I was running around with Johnny and the guys and I told him that I was sleeping with Joker to scare him. I swear- I honestly don't think he realized I was there." She let out a small nervous laugh, reaching up with one hand to adjust her ponytail, as he stared with wide eyes.
There was a long silence. It permeated the room. Alexis knew the Harley Quinn was somewhere in the room, watching her-Alexis prayed her eyes would adjust to some degree soon- just enough to see if the clown was as close as it felt like she was.
"Interesting. I don't know if you're lying." the voice was right in front of Alexis and she flinched but didn't move, as the sudden jerk had caused a low symphony of growls on either side of her. Her trembling wouldn't slow.
"I'm not lying, please." her voice came out a choked sob, "I don't wanna die."
"No one ever does, when it's their time." A hand reached out to stroke her cheek, brushing away tears that she didn't know had begun to fall. "Such a beautiful girl. Such a shame."
"Lexi?" Johnny called from the doorway, "I got your text, you said you needed help with something. Listen, you're starting to scare me, why is the door open?" He hesitated, turning back to look at the guys with him, shrug, and walk inside.
"Lex, come on, where are you? Why did you call if-" Johnny froze, as he turned on the light. Directly in front of the front door was a large bloodstain, settled into the carpet. Dread settled into his stomach as he looked up only a little further to see where a purple dress lay on the ground, as though cut from someone's body.
"Lexi?" Johnny called, but with a resigned tone now, realizing what was happening.
Seeing that her kitchen light was on Johhny made his way there, to investigate further, and to see if Alexis was even there.
She was. Or at least. Parts of her. Johnny felt his breakfast churning in his stomach- he had to look away from the mess of viscera in front of him. It was clear who the viscera belonged to, as her scalp and the attached purple and black hair were perched on top of a broom handle, leaning on the wall The carnage was intense, and Johnny found himself wondering what was what exactly. He knew who had killed the girl, and he knew why.
Goddamn it Lexi. Johnny thought in an angry way. He had warned her of course, but she seemed sure that Harley wouldn't care. He had tried to explain that for those two, 'over' doesn't mean over, it means sleeping in separate beds and fucking in cars.
Schiff stepped around the corner, froze- giggled, then projectile vomited.
"Jesus Schiff. That's fucking gross."
"Sorry, Johnny." Schiff sniffled, before leaving the kitchen. "Bye Lexi."
Johnny sighed deeply, before opening his phone to call J.
