Alice was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bed, she was working on the design of a new suit, aquatic dragon themed, when she had first woken up as a vampire she had loved drawing her visions, sometimes she would draw clothes she liked but couldn't manage to steal or buy.

At times she would doddle and cross patterns between the clothes in her drawings, had liked adding things to them or just removing others.

When she met Jasper and he found her sketchbook he had said that she had talent when she tried to hide her doodles.

He was the reason she even began actually making more than just doodles, he had given her the confidence to just let her mind run wild and design whatever she wanted. He would sometimes give her suggestions or bring her flowers whenever she wasn't sure of which color to give to the clothes.

When she joined the Cullens she had at some point studied about fashion and clothes' design. Several teacher had loved her designs and some had even tried to get her to get a job designing clothes.

But she hadn't.

She loved clothes and fashion, but ultimately it was just one of her favorite hobbies, she didn't want it to be a job and start relating to nothing but stress and frustration, plus, there was also the very little detail where she was a vampire, and as a vampire, potentially becoming popular was not an option.

Didn't mean she didn't bring some of those designs to life, she might not be able to sell it to humans, but she can gift them to her family.

Point was, designing clothes was also kind of like her comfort hobby, something that reminded her of Jasper and much more lighter times.

Suddenly, the sound of the door opening caught her attention, she wasn't quite prepared to find her late visitor to be the exact same reason for her to be drawing at 3:00 am and not watching a movie as she did most nights to spend the time.

He didn't even hesitate to step into the room, pushing the door behind him to be as close to shut as possible without actually being shut, this before going over to her and climbing on the bed, sitting behind her and his legs dangling off the bed, she felt him lean against her back, his arms coming to wrap around her waist.

Not a single word came from him.

For a moment, she wasn't sure what to do or what to even take from this, all she found herself doing was putting her pencil down and resting her hands on top of his.

-Is something wrong?- She asks, her voice soft as she strokes his knuckles.

-He knows.- Are the odd words she gets in response, his grip on her waist tightening, he sounds confused, but there's also something akind to desperation and fear in his voice.

-Who knows what?- She questions, had he had a nightmare? She didn't hear him nor did she see him having a nightmare tonight.

-... I don't know.- His answer makes her frown, she can feel how tense he is, and as she takes notice of how he is positioned…

Ah.

He's afraid, but he isn't curling against her nor hiding, he's got a firm grip on her and his legs are nowhere put in a position where he might have trouble moving.

She's seen this before, he would get like this in the aftermath of either a confrontation with a nomad or after a particularly bad flashback, he would cling to her, not seeking for her to protect or comfort him.

But for him to shield and protect her.

Either from invisible demons or just because holding her seemed to bring him comfort.

This…

-Jazz? Did you have a nightmare? Or was it something you felt?- She asks, quite proud at how steady her voice comes out as, at times like these she had a terrible time keeping her composure, to see pieces of her Jasper shining through…

She still had no idea how to deal with it.

But she needed to know, needed to know what had made him react like this.

-I don't know.- He sounds frustrated, confused, desperated, afraid, lost.

-It's alright then.- She assures, patting his hands softly, sometimes, he will start hyperventilating when he can't remember something that he knows he knows. She didn't want him to stress over anything.

But she did seek out with her gift, just to be sure nothing would be coming their way.

There was nothing. And she also knew Edward would be able to hear the thoughts of whoever tried to approach the house.

Thus, she allows herself to relax a bit, and after a moment, she picks up her pencil again, returning to her drawing, one of her hands still on top of Jasper's, he doesn't pull away even when she feels him relax, this was the closest he's willingly gotten to her since finding him at the church.

Touch seemed to still be an issue for him, but she's noticed he doesn't flinch as much with Carlisle anymore, and he does let Renesmee grab his hand and drag him around, that was improvement.

When she first met him he had also had issues with physical touch, strange enough, he hadn't seemed bothered by kissing, but holding hands, hugging or even touching his face had seemed to fall on his "no" list.

It had taken her weeks before he grew comfortable with her touch, so she was somewhat used to it, it did hurt though, to have to start from zero again.

But she would never not stand with him, she loved him, and loving someone also meant taking care of them and staying by their side when they most needed it.

Jasper was the one who always protected her, always there to bust her confidence and comfort her when things went wrong.

It was her turn to be here for him and take care of him, because she knew, that if she were in his place, he would do the exact same thing.

Meanwhile, Jasper was listening to the soft scratch of the pencil against paper, the sound was soothing and for some odd reason familiar.

He hadn't meant to come here, he's seen in movies that it's not right for a man to come into a woman's bedroom, much less without her permission, and even more less at night.

But Alice hadn't asked him to leave nor had she become upset, he knew it was still wrong.

But he couldn't help it, not when he woke up with the overwhelming and crushing sensation that he needed to protect her, something horrible would happen if he didn't protect her, he had to protect her, because he knew about her and she was in danger.

He had no idea who even was "he", all he knew is that he needed to protect her from him, but he couldn't feel anyone anywhere near the house, no foreign emotional signature whatsoever.

But it still ate at him, and so he sat there with her, holding her made him feel much more at ease, like as long as he held her he would know where she was, he could protect her.

He sat there, refusing to sleep, a bit hard considering keeping himself from falling asleep has been getting much more harder than before, and he got tired, a lot.

It was weird, and it put him on edge.

He's made sure to not let them know, he doesn't want them to know about his vulnerabilities, none of them has hurt him so far, but he still felt on edge over how nice all of them were, he's watched lots of movies and shows, no one was that nice with strangers, and those who were ended up being bad people.

Like the old woman who faked kindness to poison that girl with an apple, or the prince that faked being good but just wanted to use the girl to take the throne.

Point is, he doesn't trust these people, just Alice, he likes Alice, her kindness isn't frightening, at times, it even feels familiar, he likes her a lot, she's the reason he's even begun doubting leaving.

He doesn't want to leave her, but he can't stay either, it's not safe, but he doesn't want to leave her.

At some point, he doesn't know when, the feeling dissipates, but he doesn't let go, he doesn't want to let go, this position, having her this close, it feels familiar, right, and not for the first time he wonders just how much she knows, had she known him? A lot of things feel familiar when he's with her, and it bothers him not knowing the reason.

He leans back, just enough to get a peek over her shoulder of what she's doing, drawing… even that feels familiar. He rests his chin on her shoulder, watching as she traced lines, the scratching sound of the pencil against paper was oddly comforting.

-That looks nice.- He finds himself muttering, he isn't quite sure what she's making, looks like clothes, but it looks much too… not quite like clothes either… but it looks nice.

The jolt of pride and giddiness in her emotions gave him warm tingles all over his face.

-Thank you.- Her voice was soft, and he felt her stroke his hand with her thumb, it was a nice feeling.

He watched for a bit longer before pulling back, just so he could rest his cheek against her back once again, taking in a deep breath and hugging her closer.

He was starting to doze off when he heard the scratching of the pencil halt, prompting him to open his eyes, blinking rapidly, no, he couldn't fall asleep.

Alice shifted a bit before she was touching his hands.

-I wanna lay down, do you wanna lay down?- Alice questioned, because she could tell he was tired, but she also knew he wouldn't give in to sleep so easily, not if he thought she was in danger, which she wasn't.

So, getting him to sleep would be much more easier if he laid down, he needed to sleep, resting was a big part of healing.

She felt his hold around her waist tighten for a moment, as if he were struggling with the idea of letting go, this before he was releasing her, she turned to look at him, he didn't seem particularly happy, in fact, he almost looked upset, why?

And as he tried to get up she grabbed his arm.

-What's wrong?- She questioned, not sure about the sudden change in attitude, he gave her a confused look.

-You said you wanna lay down, and you put your stuff away.- He said, throwing a look at the sketchbook peeking from under the pillow.

Ah.

He thought she was kicking him out so she could rest.

As if.

-So? I also asked you if you wanted to lay down too, you know, together, aren't you tired?

-... I can stay?- There was such hope in his voice, and she wished she could just kiss that adorable face, of course he could stay, hell, he could take over her room if he wanted.

-Of course.- She said, pulling him back down on the bed and coaxing him to lay down, the second she laid down by his side, the second his arms were latching back around her waist.

Alice was quite sure that had she been human her heart would have launched into a race when she came face to face with him as he pulled her closer, his intense eyes alone being enough to make her glad she was laying down, her legs feeling way too weak.

He always had the ability to make her feel weak and nervous by his looks alone.

" You make me nervous."

"I don't mean to."

That exchange of words at that diner in Philadelphia came back to her, making her smile, he gave her a questioning look, she shook her head, this before bringing her arms around him and burying her face into his chest, taking in a deep breath.

She liked his smell, it reminded her of the forest, and the forest reminded her of their travels, all the moments they spent together…

She remembers their wrestling matches, the teasing between them, the flirting, their races across the forest, their games of hide and seek and skipping rocks, braiding flowers in his hair, putting flower crowns on his head, covering him in flowers whenever he began dozing off under a tree, swimming at the lake, fighting with water at the river…

Every single one of her memories with Jasper… she treasured those close to her heart.

To remember his cute dimples whenever he smiled, his laughter, his scowls, his smug smirks, even his childish pouts.

She snuggled closer to him, pressing a faint kiss on his chest, right where she could hear his heartbeat at. And for a moment, she allowed herself to imagine things to be alright, that he was alright, and that he never had to go through God knows what kind of tortures.

That he came with her to the Cullens, made a life with her here, learnt that others could be trusted, that he could be safe even if surrounded by many vampires.

That he got live a happy life these past years by her side.

Meanwhile, Jasper could do nothing but stare at the wall, right now, over a dozens feelings he can't put name to are fluttering all over his chest and stomach, Alice's arms around him, her face against his chest, having her so close… he could smell her shampoo, feel her breathing, it made his heart accelerate.

He had no idea what did these emotions meant, these weird reactions his heart and skin itself were having to her touch, and he found himself tangling their legs together, tightening his hold around her as he buried his nose into her hair, wanting, needing to feel her closer.

"-Stop that.- Warned a voice, golden eyes giving him an annoyed look, fingers curling around his wrists. His fingers wiggled, fluttering touches against soft skin, her lips twitched.- I'm serious, stop that.

-Make me.- He refuted, grinning at the frown he was given, but even so, amusement sparkled in her eyes. He dug his fingers ontoher ribs, her surprised yelp followed right behind by a strangled chuckle filling the room as she arched her back.

-Jasper Whitlock!- She protested, swatting his chest playfully, she scowled at him when he brought her closer, but she didn't try to pull away, her emotions dancing with amusement, fondness, happiness...

-Yes ma'am?- He questioned innocently, fingers touching her back.

-Don't 'yes ma'am' me. Why must you feel the urge to torture me so?- She asked. He smirked, leaning over to press several quick kisses against her neck, her happy shrieks and giggles filling the room as she writhed half-heartedly in his hold, she wanted to escape the attack, but she wasn't in any particular hurry to do so.

-I like the sound of your laughter. And you look particularly fun to tease when you're so quiet.

-Well, let me tell you something cowboy, I also happen to like watching you lose it.- She told between laughs, this before rolling them on the bed and coming up to straddle him, and before he could do anything about it she was attacking his ribs.

And this time he was the one who yelped, back arching as laughter burst out, her feather-light kisses littering his neck, fingers tickling all over his sides and stomach.

-Not fair.- He protested, snickering at the fingers sneaking up his back.

-War ain't fair, now show me those cute dimples.- Came the teasing voice, more fingers attacking his ribs.

And the laughter filled the room."

-I'll show you cute dimples.

Alice jerked at those words, pulling back just enough to look at Jasper.

He was sleeping, still clinging to her in a mess of limbs, but sleeping. She touched his face, but he didn't react to her touch, was he seriously sleeping?

But what she heard… was he dreaming? But those words… she bites her tongue, she remembers those words, that had been during one of their tickle fights, she had teased him, calling out his cute dimples, knowing that he would feel the urge to do something over being called cute, he didn't like that word, would make a face at it whenever she used it on him.

Most of the time he didn't like the word because he thought himself too "monstrous" to be referred as such, other times he didn't like the word because it just flustered him.

Reason enough for her to use it, because getting to fluster him wasn't something she could do with the same ease he got her to become a mess of nerves when they first met.

Point is, he said those words that night, in Arkansas, a week right before the worst day of her life happened.

Was he dreaming about that night? He didn't seem to be in pain like he usually was when he got glimpses of memories, be it awake or in dreams.

In fact.

He almost looked… happy.

She caressed his cheek affectionately with the back of her hand, she hoped he would have a good dream throughout the night, he's been having many nightmares lately.

Some Edward could see, others not so much, something about how some of those were like staring at an old TV with no signal.

She sighed, burying her face back into his chest, she stays there the whole night, just enjoying the quiet, the proximity, just the fact alone that she was cuddling with him.

~

Jasper wakes up to the strong scent of lavender, spring and sunlight… and fingers carding through his hair, the air feels… warm… cozy, it makes him wish he could just stay here, like this. This was the most comfortable he's felt since he has use of reason.

Even the fingers carding through his hair feel great, and he doesn't need to see to know who it's, the scent and the atmosphere said it all.

Last night comes back to him, reminding him where he might still be at.

And so he forces himself to open his eyes.

Silver meets gold.

So close he feels his heart make an interesting flip, she pulls her hand away, but strange enough, he doesn't so much as attempt to pull away, in fact, he even feels disappointed at the loss of contact.

He likes her touch, it's gentle and warm like nothing he's ever felt before.

Her eyes…

They are pretty, they remind him of those pretty wildflowers in the forest.

The sun hits her face, it makes her skin sparkle like a thousand diamonds and her eyes glow like melted gold.

And he finds himself reaching up to touch her cheek, stroking her skin with his thumb, she's so beautiful…

Like an angel.

She almost reminds him of the woman he got glimpses of at the ice cream shop, the warm dream he had with the pretty laugh… but it can't be her, can it? She would have told him if they knew each other, right?

The woman with the golden eyes had seemed nice, like they were on good terms, why would she hide it from him if they had known each other?

He traces her jaw, wondering what's that fluttering feeling in his chest he gets with her, what drives her to be so… this, he's watched enough movies with Emmett, Renesmee and Alice herself to know that strangers, acquittances nor even friends treat each other like this.

She holds his hand, a lot, even when she doesn't need to, she will card her fingers through his hair, get too close to his face, lean against him and trace his scars, she worries a lot about him, cares too much, she will bring him gifts, help him without hesitation, take him on walks, lay on the grass with him, sit with him throughout the night when he has a nightmare…

And she let him hug her all night, let him cling to her in what he knows is an extremely inappropriate thing to do with a woman he's barely friends with, and now she wasn't even bothered with him touching her face like this, he feels like there's more behind all this that he isn't seeing.

Something about her gaze, her emotions, her behavior itself, at times it feels like she's waiting for something, what? He doesn't know, but it feels like he should know.

He looks down at her lips, and he has the fleeting wonder of how would it be like to press their lips together.

Emmett had told him people did it to people they liked, not friends, and definitely not family.

More like the kind of people that made your heart accelerate, the kind that makes you feel all warm inside, the kind that gave you the tingles everywhere, good tingles and extremely good tingles, that one last had confused Jasper a lot.

Still did.

Because Emmett had said so with a weird voice, as if there was something else hiding there, he had even wiggled his eyebrows, as if he somehow expected Jasper to know what did he meant with extremely good tingles.

And when he asked all Emmett had done was give him a funny look.

"You will know when it happens."

That's what he had said, Jasper still couldn't understand, but he didn't need to to know he liked Alice.

A lot.

Enough for it to feel frightening at times, he's found himself craving her touch lately, he wants to touch her, hug her, hold her hand, run his fingers through her hair.

But he doesn't, because it's not proper.

And still, he finds himself leaning closer to her, so close their lips brush together, and that touch alone sends a shiver down his spine, he hears her breath hitch, her emotions bursting with surprise, longing, hope, warmth , it eats at him.

Yet, before he can even think about ending the distance and finding out how it might feel like to kiss her, a sudden knock at the door shatters the moment, he quickly pulled away, straightening into a sitting position before looking away, he felt the spark of disappointment and irritation in Alice's emotions, though since it wasn't directed at him he didn't mind it .

-What?- Alice questions for her side, sitting up and biting back the urge to snap, because he had been so close, feeling his lips brushing against hers after so long had almost made her end the distance herself, but she hadn't wanted to scare him away.

-I'm sorry, I know it's early, but I would like to take a look at Jasper before I leave.- Came Carlisle's voice, right, Esme had said something about a strange scar on Jasper's side.

She threw a look at Jasper, he was side glaring at the door, he still did not like Carlisle checking his injuries and whatnot.

But this was necessary, thus, she took his hand into her own, stroking the back of his hand and giving him a reassuring look as he met her gaze.

He scowled at her, stubborn as ever before his shoulders dropped in defeat and he looked away.

-You can come in.- She called out to Carlisle.

Carlisle for his side stepped into the bedroom, he had heard Jasper leave his room last night, heard him sneak into Alice's room, and their little exchange of words.

He had tried to not eavesdrop, but it was a bit hard when the whole place was dead silent and their voices were all that could be heard.

Point was, he knew he had slept in Alice's bedroom, so he hadn't worried much about his whereabouts when he still didn't find him in his room.

Carlisle circled the bed, coming over to stand before him, he was regarded with the same wariness as always.

-My wound's fine.- Jasper said, giving him a stubborn look, he almost reminded Carlisle of Rosalie that time she got poisoned with vervain and kept glaring at him and claiming she was fine, had glared at him throughout the whole ordeal of her having to drink the antidote.

-I know it's fine, but that's not what I want to see.- The wariness in his eyes was joined by suspicion at his words.

-Then what?

-Your side.- That got him a frown.

-There's nothin' wrong with it.

-I know, but Esme asked me to check, she saw a scar that worries her, I just want to make sure I haven't been missing something.- Carlisle explained, hoping to persuade him into letting him see, it might be nothing, but he would feel better if he could ease his wife's worries and now his.

Jasper stared at him for a full minute before pulling his shirt up.

-Alright.

Carlisle was careful but quick as he removed the bandage, he didn't touch the gauze, as he had told him, he just wanted to check the scar, Esme had said his left side.

And so he checked his left side, it took him a moment, but he was able to find it, a thin scar, quite long too, didn't seem like it had healed quite right, he traced it in the air, it went across his side, part of his stomach and somewhere around his hip, it almost resembled a bite.

But that couldn't be possible, right? What would leave a bite of such size? Not even the shapeshifters.

But it did look like a shapeshifter's bite, just bigger.

Bigger…

Now that he thinks about it, where did he see a similar scar to this one before?

And then it struck him.

Werewolf.

When Volterra first began eradicating the children of the moon several vampires had gotten killed and/or injured, Carlisle had still be in Volterra at the time, he had seen many of the wounded, their bites coincided with this one.

But how could that be possible? Carlisle could have sworn the Volturi had killed them all, but again, Demetri and Stefan had said they had given chase to one a few years ago.

It stood to reason werewolves might not be extinct, Jasper was a black blood, his kind was also meant to be extinct, but he was right infront of Carlisle.

Creatures that were created or born like black bloods and werewolves could never go extinct, not really.

Point was, this bite wasn't healed, the poison from a werewolf was much more potent than a shapeshifter's, it was a miracle in itself that it hadn't killed Jasper with how weak he had been when they found him.

And while he's been feeding a lot he was still not out of the bushes, his body was still extremely weak, it couldn't fight off the poison nor even get rid of it, it wouldn't surprise Carlisle if he's been getting tired more easily.

A good thing here was that he knew how to fix it.

-Is there somethin' wrong?- Jasper's sudden voice catches his attention, he's giving him an anxious look.

-Nothing I can't fix.- Carlisle assures, grabbing the bandage and putting it back on him.

He wonders though, what exactly had the Volturi done to him, for what Edward had said before, the Volturi had wanted Jasper first because of his reputation as The Major, it wouldn't surprise Carlisle that they had set their eyes on him.

But Jasper had refused to join them, and then Aro had found out about Alice's gift, and he had wanted her.

Had been willing to give up on getting The Major for her, and Carlisle wasn't sure which one was more concerning, that they kept The Major imprisoned for decades in hopes to convince him to join, all the while using God knows what kind of methods in failed attempts at subduing him, or that they had been willing to completely destroy his mind for Alice.

Did their obsession know no limits? But Eleazar had said so himself, the pattern was there, the Volturi would find one way or another to eradicate entire covens just so they could get their hands on the gifted ones.

Carlisle had five now, five gifts that put them all in even thinner ice, but Carlisle could care less, he would protect his family to the end, Aro would have to kill him first if he wanted to take any of them.

Because Carlisle would have to be dead before he let any of his children or granddaughter be used and regarded as nothing but weapons.

The idea of the Volturi doing anything anywhere similar to what was done to Jasper is enough to make him sick.

~

-Come on Jazz, I promise it's alright, nothin' will happen to you.- Alice called, she had brought him to a lake she had found during one of her and Emmett's hunting trips, she wanted him to get some freedom from the usual aches in his body, Carlisle had said it would be a good idea.

Some humans with trouble in their muscles or bones liked swimming, the water helped their muscles relax and it relieved the constant pressure too, so she hoped it would be the same for him.

Emmett had asked her if she wanted to go to the lake with him and Bella, one thing led to another and that's how she ended up bringing Jasper with her, and everyone, one way or another, had also joined.

It was the first time Jasper was in the same place, in the open, with everyone else, she had expected him to be more anxious, strange enough he hadn't been so.

Ever since this morning he's been a bit more at ease around the others, she found it strange the sudden change in behavior, she liked it, the idea that he might growing comfortable around the others.

But Alice wasn't stupid, she knew Jasper, memories or no memories he wouldn't just change his attitude overnight, it bothered her to no end to not know what had made him so… relaxed, again, she was glad, but it was still off-putting.

He was currently standing at the dock, staring at the water with a suspicious look, he was wearing blue swimming trunks and a dark long sleeved shirt he had refused to take off, she didn't mind, he could wear whatever he felt comfortable with.

Emmett had kept his shirt on, and Alice had a feeling he had done so so Jasper wouldn't feel out of place.

Meanwhile, Jasper frowned, the water… he couldn't see the bottom of it, he didn't like water, he hadn't even liked showering, reason he isn't done so again since last time.

But he does like the rain, so he's still not quite sure why had he felt so uncomfortable showering.

He had agreed to come here, so he guessed he should get in the water, right? Plus, Alice looked so pretty, her eyes were sparkling, her emotions warm, hope, comfort, fondness…?

No, it's much warmer, it makes butterflies flutter somewhere in his chest. It drives him to lower down, he still has trouble sitting down on lower grounds with no support whatsoever.

But he manages, sitting at the edge, Alice's waiting for him by the ladder, arms stretched out infront of her, palms facing up, waiting for Jasper to take them.

He gave the water another suspicious look, he didn't like it that he couldn't see under, what if something grabbed him? What if he couldn't get out? He wouldn't drown, but he didn't think there would be light down there, he didn't like darkness, he didn't want to be in the darkness, he-

-You don't have to do it if you don't want to.- Alice's sudden voice caught his attention, she was giving him a gentle look, understanding, sad.

He didn't like it.

Much more so because he hated the feeling it brought him to not be able to do things out of fear, something prickled at the back of his head.

"-Fear is the voice of chaos Jasper, it holds you back from doing what needs to be done."

"-Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's doing what needs to be done even in the face of fear."

Jasper frowned at the voice in his head, that one was new, and weird enough, it made him think of glass exploding, strong yet warm hands on his shoulders, the strong smell of wood and coffee, hoofbeats, pumpkin heads, a bronze chain with a horseshoe dangling from it.

He touched his neck, he had the sudden and weirdest feeling that something should be around his neck.

And it bothered him that it wasn't there.

-Jazz?

Alice's voice brought him back, he shook his head, he sometimes wondered how much time did he spent getting lost in those snippets.

-No, I wanna do it.- He told as a statement of fact, he needed to do this, he refused to let fear control him, like that voice said, fear is the voice of chaos, he cannot let chaos take him, he's lost enough as it is.

Keeping himself sane is the least he can do.

He doesn't remember, but he knows he can't let himself be weak, and this woman… he needs to protect her, fear won't help him protect her.

Thus, he took in a deep breath, stilling his nerves before reaching out for her, her smile was so bright, her fingers wrapping tight around Jasper's wrist, she coaxed him forward, closer, and even if he was adamant about doing this he felt fear bloom the second his foot touched the water.

-There's a movie about a fish with amnesia.

That single sentence got Jasper frowning, he threw a look at Emmett, he was floating on a unicorn floating thing, floatie, floater, something like that, right behind Alice, he was giving him a conspiratious look.

Jasper liked him, Emmett didn't make things awkward nor uncomfortable, he didn't act like it was wrong to mention "amnesia", "blank mind", "memories", or any other term of similar source infront of him, the others acted like it was wrong to say it out loud, he knew it was because they felt guilty, like he would mind if they mentioned it.

But he didn't care, he knew he lost his memories because he was decapitated, it was a fact he had to live with, acting like he would break down if it was mentioned did nothing but make him feel uncomfortable.

He knew it wasn't done with bad intentions, but still…

-I thought you said fish have a short memory span, measured by seconds short.- He found himself saying, confusion settling in.

-Not the fish in this movie.- Emmett began, grinning, as if he knew more about the world than he did, which Jasper guessed was right, he did not know much about much right now.

Shameful when he remembered Alice told him he was born in 1844.

Meant he was older than all of them, minus the doctor, Carlisle was still much older than him.

But the point stood, he was old, he should know more than a lot of them did.

-The protagonist in this movie is a fish who's son gets kidnapped by human scuba divers, his name is Merlin, the father's, not the son's, and he then meets this other fish on his trip to get his son back, Doris, she's got seriously short term memory, which sucks because she's got clues on how to find Merlin's son.

Jasper frowned, he sometimes had a hard time believing Emmett's explantations about movies actually came from movies.

-She joins him on his trip, wanting to help him look for his son; Nemo, Nemo's the son's name, Nemo who in the meantime gets taken to a fish tank at a dentist's office, there he meets a cool fish with a cool scar on the side.

Jasper found himself actually focusing on Emmett's words, he felt himself being pulled, part of him reacting on reflex and following, water touched his leg.

He flinched.

-And then a psychopath of a girl with braces appears!- Emmett's shout made Jasper's heart skip a beat, jaw clenching, he glared at him, but the giant was unbothered as he grinned at him.- Poor Nemo almost gets killed when the little psycho starts shaking that bag he's in as if she were shaking the last bits of a ketchup bottle and not a fish.

Water reaches his knees, the grip on his wrist never leaving, never too tight, never painful. He had the feeling Emmett was doing that on purpose, that of talking to him, distracting him.

Interesting how it did work.

Because one moment he was at the ladder, but dry, and the next thing he knows he's still in the ladder, but now the water reaches his chest.

And he stares at it.

-You alright?- Alice's voice makes him look up, there's concern in her face, she's not holding his wrists anymore nor has she attempted to pry him off the ladder.

-'m fine.- He mutters, he doesn't like the feeling of nothing to stand on, of not seeing what is under, but he does like how his legs float aimlessly underwater, for the first time in forever his knees don't feel as sore as they usually do.

-Would you like to go further?- Her question makes him tense. He trusts her, and he likes her a lot, but he doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of her being the only thing keeping him from sinking to the bottom of absolute darkness.

A little voice tells him that he should trust her, that it's alright, but another part of him refuses to, he can't let his emotions decide everything, no matter how good she was he can't know with certainty if she wouldn't let him go.

But as he raises his head and meets her gaze, a completely different answer comes out of his mouth.

-Yes.

He's horrified with the answer, that he can trust her to not let go of him, why was he entrusting her with keeping him above water so willingly?

And still, it's too late, she turns her back to him.

-You can wrap your arms around me, don't worry, I'm a great swimmer, I had a great teacher. But if it gets too much tell me and I will get you out, alright?- Alice said, to be honest? She hadn't expected him to come this far.

Hadn't expected Emmett's little trick to work either, but it did, Jasper was never a fan of swimming, the water ralentizing his movements made him be a bit anxious whenever she managed to convince him to swim with her. Much like he wasn't a particular fan of not being able to see what was under him.

And still.

He had been the one to teach her how to swim, would agree to swim with her whenever she asked or just invite himself in whenever she decided to go for a swim.

She felt his hesitant arms come to wrap around her neck, what did surprise her was how that was followed with him wrapping his legs around her waist.

-It's alright, I've got you.- She assured, she could feel how tense he was, and she had a feeling his legs around her was nothing but product of his fear at being in the water at all, she could understand it, Jasper was never at ease when he couldn't see what was under him.

She guessed some things didn't change.

-You should know, there might be fish lurking around, in case you feel something touch you, but don't worry, you're completely safe.- Alice warned, her hands resting on his knees, she wished he would stretch his legs, but seeing that he was scared…

Well, she would just need to wait until he relaxed.

-Are there piranhas? Crocodiles?

-Maybe, but you don't have to worry about that, you aren't human, and even so, your skin is very tough, animals can't hurt you.- Alice told as a statement of fact, that at least seemed to put him at ease for she felt him relax.

Thus, she took it to swim around, he clung to her throughout it all, refusing to so much as stretch his legs out, having him so close was amazing, she could feel his heartbeat behind her, and his breathing by her neck.

At some point, he seemed to relax enough to shift positions, he was now infront of her, his arms around her neck, and she had instructed him on how to move his legs, staring into her eyes seemed to be a favorite hobby of his, she doesn't even know when did that habit of his began.

But it never failed at making her nervous, because sometimes he looked at her as if he knew things, and sometimes his stares were just too intense to bear, there's always been something about his stares that just did things to her.

Having him so close doesn't help, were she human, she was quite sure her face would have been red, she's proud at how well she does at keeping her composure.

She does make a point at glaring at Emmett from behind Jasper's shoulder, taking advantage of her arms being around Jasper's waist to bring a hand up his back and flip Emmett off, doesn't stop him from keeping up the kissing motions.

Rosalie appears by his side and grabs his shoulders, pushing him underwater.

And Alice thanks her for that, she knows Emmett just likes teasing her, and while she does find it amusing, another part of her doesn't, because it eats at her to have Jasper so distant, she misses his kisses, his hugs, his touches, their skin flushing together as he whispered her name against her neck.

Hell, she misses his teasing, his flirting, and even his stubborn silence whenever he got mad and refused to tell her the reason.

Emmett teasing her is nothing but a reminder that she can never have him as she once had him, because Jasper doesn't remember her, doesn't remember their time together at all.

And it kills her.

Even more so because she knows she can end it all if she just tells him the truth.

Meanwhile, Jasper is frowning as he stares at Renesmee, she's at the dock making weird movements with her hands, he feels like she's trying to tell him something, but he can't for the life of him get what.

She then stops and sighs, defeat dancing in her emotions before she tugs at Jacob's arm and asks him something, the wolf crouches down to her level. And Jasper watches Renesmee point at Jacob's cheek and then at Alice, she then points at him and then at herself before pressing a kiss against the wolf's cheek.

She points back at Alice as she turns to look at him once again, he can feel the amusement in the air as she keeps making exaggerated movements.

Realization strikes him at some point, and with it he isn't sure on how to proceed, she wants him to kiss Alice's cheek? Why? Wouldn't that be rude? Wouldn't she be upset?

But then there's Emmett too, giving him thumbs up, and he has no idea what to do with that, wasn't he Alice's brother? He fails to see why would he be okay with Jasper doing something that might upset her.

Thus.

He pulls back, just enough to face Alice, she gives him a curious look, she hadn't been upset this morning when he almost kissed her, and he did like the feelings brushing their lips together had brought him.

It made a little part in him crave to learn how would it feel like if he were to actually kiss her.

But no, that's not right, he can't kiss her lips, no matter how much he wants to.

Thus, he goes for her cheek, pressing a soft kiss against it.

The giddiness that bursts in her emotions makes his heart skip a beat, he likes the butterflies she sends across his skin, and sometimes, even into his stomach.

He likes her.

A lot.

And sometimes he wonders how much is that lot, all he knows is that he wants to hold her hand whenever he can, he wants to be the only one she looks at like she's doing now, the only one she lets get so close to kissing her lips, and he certainly wants to be the only one she lets sleep with her like he had done last night.

The idea of someone else doing it made an uncomfortable weight sit on his chest, something akind to anger twists at the pit of his stomach, but it's not anger, he doesn't know what it is.

But he doesn't like it.

Because she's his.


A/N: For the love of all that is sacred, I want to remind people that Jacob's relationship with Renesmee is strictly platonic here, almost sibling-like. Just in case that kiss on the cheek sparks misunderstandings. I don't ship them, I don't care if it's canon, I will never be okay with grooming behavior and I'm prepared to throw a chancla at anyone who complains to me about it :v