-Jazz, if you keep eating them there will be none left for the jam.- Alice calls as she catches sight of him from the corner of her eye, she had taken him out earlier to pick wild red berries, Jasper was never a particular fan of eating human food despite being able to.
He had more of a sweet tooth, pie had been his favorite above all, apple pie to be more precise, and peach cobbler, but he had also loved jam made out of whatever berries he could get his hands onto.
She had learnt how to bake and make quite the interesting things because of him, he had taught her how to bake and how to make jam, she had loved every second of it, she couldn't eat it nor taste it, but she had still loved the time she spent with him.
She had taught herself to make other things too, just to surprise him, like ice cream, she had learnt how to make it just so she could see his reaction.
Point was, he had liked jam, and she felt like he should get to taste the things he had once liked a lot, plus, he's been getting a lot of headaches lately, he deserved something sweet.
She took him out with her to pick up wild red berries, that was a familiar thing to do, in the past, Jasper had refused to get the fruits from the grocery store, he had told her that he didn't want to pay for something he could just get from a forest for free.
And she did guess he had a point, humans had grocery stores to make it easy for others to get food.
Picking berries had been an interesting activity.
Now they were back at home, she had put a saucer in the fridge a bit earlier, and now she was taking it to wash them while Jasper was the one who removed them from the twigs. Now, the only people in this house who could eat human food wouldn't be affected by regular sickness, but Alice felt much better washing them.
Like Rosalie had the habit to say; just because you are immortal and can't get sick or die it doesn't mean you get to be unhygienic and by extension disgusting.
-'m not eatin' 'em.- Comes Jasper's voice, he's sitting behind the countertop with the basket of berries and a bowl where he's putting the berries he removes. Alice throws him a look.
-I can see you chewing.- She feels the urge to point out, she smirks in amusement at the look he gives her.
-But not from the basket.- He defends, that catches her attention, she raises a questioning eyebrow at him and he leaves the stool, putting his hands into his pockets before bringing out two handfuls of berries, several dropping on the floor.- See?
Well, that explained how he's been eating them since they were on their way back to the house and they never quite disappeared from the basket.
He filled his pockets with them .
And considering he was wearing sweatpants… that had to be a lot of berries.
He was even giving her such an adorable smug look, it made her want to kiss him.
-Alright then, you can go back to what you were doing.- Alice conceded, biting back s smile at his little smirk.
Once the berries were all washed she grabbed a pan and put the berries in there, adding juice from one lemon before bringing it to the stove where she left it to boil.
While she waited for it to start boiling she took it to watch Jasper, he was back to eating his berries, he's been looking much more awake since Carlisle gave him the antidote for the werewolf venom.
She still couldn't quite get over the fact that there had also been werewolf poison in him, it made her wonder, not for the first time, what had they done to him in that place, what was the extent of the torture he had to go through?
These past months she's seen signs she doesn't know how to feel about, signs she craves to be wrong about.
Because she doesn't think she will be able to handle it if she turns out to be right, he's been beaten, chained, branded and muzzled, decapitated, he even had pins on his knees, and a pipe going through him, missing his heart barely.
The idea of more being added to the list makes her nauseous, how did he not die or go insane in that place? How much resentment he must have acquired for her? Hatred? Anger?
To know that if he hadn't trusted her he wouldn't have had to go through what he had.
Carlisle had said so himself, his reactions to remembering things might as well be his body's way of keeping him from remembering, he doesn't want to remember.
And she can't blame him, Jasper went through so much in the South, and then at the hands of the Volturi, she could see how he would just be tired of it at this point, hit the limit of how much he can handle.
Now he doesn't have his memories.
And he looks so free…
But she knows better than anyone that regardless of how peaceful he looks, deep down, he wants to remember.
She knows the feeling all too well, of feeling weightless, but also desperated, because the kind of freedom that came with a blank mind could also become one of the most terrifying things anyone could go through.
And she knows, that if Jasper were able to, he would want them back, as she had stated before, his mind had been precious to him, and now…
Now he was so vulnerable… at times, it felt like looking at a completely different person, a stranger with a much too familiar face.
There were also those moments where it felt like she was looking at her Jasper, like a few days ago, he had been so close to kissing her, and that spark in his eyes… then he had kissed her cheek at the lake, and again that spark had been there in his eyes.
So intense, so warm.
Finding out Renesmee had been the one to get him to kiss her… she wasn't sure what was that girl thinking, no one's even told her the truth behind her relationship with Jasper.
But Renesmee's always been extremely perceptive, of course she would figure it out.
And of course she would attempt to set Alice up with Jasper, she was still not sure if to thank her for getting Jasper to kiss her or what.
Because it burnt her very soul to know she may never have him back, she had wanted to try, but trying to make him fall for her when she's the reason he's like that in the first place doesn't feel right, and still.
She can't put distance between them as she knows she should, it's better if he does leave and has a fresh start, with someone that could actually keep their promises and not get him hurt.
Even if that's the last thing she wants.
-They've popped open.- Jasper's sudden voice catches her attention.
-What?
-The berries. You said that once they've popped open you add the other stuff.- He reminds, and now he's standing infront of her, grabbing the jar of sugar from the counter, he adds sugar on the pan, the very exact needed amount.
And the star anise, she watches him stir it, wondering how does he even remember that, but again, Esme did said he had helped her make the cobbler, had seemed to know what he was doing.
It makes her chest twist with a much overwhelming feeling, the reason she never stepped again into a kitchen after Jasper supposedly died was because she couldn't bear to cook let alone bake without thinking about him.
He wouldn't be there to steal bits throughout the whole process, rest his chin on her shoulder and wrap his arms around her from behind, he wouldn't be there tasting just about everything and teasing her, he wouldn't be there at all.
She took the saucer out of the fridge, refusing to keep on thinking about the past, he would get worried if he feels her mood on the ground.
-Take a spoonful of it and put it on here.- She told him, holding the spoon out for him to take. As expected, he took it and took a it of jam, putting it on the saucer.
-Now what?
-We let it sit for a minute, once a minute's passed we tilt the saucer, if the jam remains, it's well set. If it still drips too much it means we must let it cook in the pan for a little longer.- Alice explained, using the exact same words Jasper himself had used once upon a time when teaching her how to make it.
One of the reasons she had even asked him to teach her was also because learning how to cook and bake had made her feel human, she didn't knew if she could cook as a human, but learning the skill had made her feel like she had retrieved a bit of her human past.
-In the meantime let's put this on minimum heat.- Alice said, reaching out to lower the stove's heat.
A moment later and she was tilting the saucer.
The jam stayed.
Or well, at least enough to show that it had set.
-Is it good?- Jasper questions.
-Yes, it came out good.- Alice conceded, smiling as she set the saucer on the counter.- Now we turn this off and remove the star anise.- She said, turning the stove off, Jasper held up the star anise with the wooden spoon he had used to stir the jam, Alice took it.- Can you get the glass jars from the cupboard?- She requests, because there was no way she could reach those.
Jasper gave her a short nod before reaching out to open the cupboard.
-How many?- He questions, staring at the several glass jars sitting on the cupboard.
-I think three's enough.- Alice said, throwing a look at the pan, there was a lot of jam, she might get Renesmee and Jacob to eat some, Renesmee loved jam and while Jacob wasn't a fan of sweet things he was, strange enough, obsessed with peanut butter and jam sandwiches.
Something that got him judging looks from Renesmee whenever he ate it, apparently, jelly was the way to go with a PJ, not jam.
Alice could never see what was the big deal.
Still.
-Thanks.- She said as Jasper set down the three jars on the counter. She took it to pour the jam into the glass jars, filling them almost to the brim.
She ended up with two jars and a half of jam. Jasper helped her put the lids on them.
-Now we turn them upside down and leave them like that for about five minutes, when the five minutes have passed we turn them back up and let them cool down.- Alice explained, Jasper nodded.- Come, help me wash these.- She asked, grabbing his hand and pulling with her to the sink.
She washed the dishes and he dried them with the dishcloth.
~
-What are those?- Jasper questions as he stares at the plate infront of him, there were yellowish square things on it, he's seen them before in movies, but he can't remember how were they called.
Alice had given them to him alongside some jam that she had put on the plate, she had even left him the jar with the spoon in case he wanted more.
-They are honey crackers, try them, I promise they are good, even more so if you try them with the jam.- Alice encouraged, she had bought the honey crackers for this exact moment, Jasper had liked them with jam.
A lot.
Jasper for his side looked down at the plate, this before reaching out to take one of the crackers, he scooped up some of the jam with another cracker before pressing them together, watching as the jam overflowed a bit at the bottom.
He stared at it for a bit longer before finally deciding to take a bite, the taste was definitely not what he had expected, the mix between lukewarm sweetness and salted crunchiness made his fingertips tingle and his lips twitch.
-Is it good?- Alice questions, smiling at his little smile, a happy nod was her answer.
Good , she wants him to be happy, even if just for little moments like now.
Jasper for his side takes it to eat the crackers with the jam, he likes this, a lot, it's sweet and it reminds him of a warmness he can't put name to.
"-What if you put jelly, jam and marmalade in the same jar and stir it all up until it becomes one?- A woman with golden eyes asks, her face is blurred, but her eyes are bright, it makes the room feel warm, cozy."
"-Why would you say somethin' so awful yet so intriguin'?- He questions. Giggles dance around the room, like the echoes of silver bells slipping through cracked glass."
-Jazz?
Alice's sudden voice snapped him back to attention, he turned to look at her, and for a moment, it feels like a most strange deja Vu as he meets her gaze, same gold he's been getting glimpses of lately.
But is it the same gold?
-You should eat some more.- Her voice is light as she speaks, holding the spoonful of jam infront of him, and again, it feels like a deja Vu, he leans forwards, accepting the spoonful of jam.
Her face brightens at it, giddiness dancing in her emotions, and he wonders what's so good about such simple gesture that's enough to fill her with that amount of happiness.
And still, when she offers him another spoonful of jam, he accepts it.
He likes the taste of it alone too, it's sweet and it makes him think about flowers.
Alice for her side finds herself cursing at her own traitorous mind, because she keeps trying to gaslight herself into thinking that putting distance between Jasper and her is the answer.
But then she goes and spoon feeds him, not once, but twice, and he doesn't even protest at it, he agrees to the gesture as if it's the most common thing in the world.
At times, she hates how he lets her get away with things he wouldn't react well to if it were someone else, because it makes her feel even worse than she usually does.
Like she's taking advantage of him.
She puts the spoon down and he gives her a curious look. She can't do this, looking at him never helps with her guilt during these moments either.
And so she leaves.
Jasper watches her leave with a frown, why does it feels like he's done something wrong? She had been happy, and then she wasn't.
Rosalie stepped into the kitchen almost at the exact same time Alice walked out. She looks at him and it feels like he is responsible for Alice's weird exit.
-'m sorry.- He finds himself mumbling as he drops his gaze to the plate, staring at the lingering jam traces and cracker crumbs on it.
He isn't sure what he did wrong, but it feels like he's at fault.
-Don't.- Is all Rosalie states as she snatches the empty plate, going over to the sink to start washing it, she throws a look at where Alice had disappeared through, scowling, she can't for the life of her understand her.
She claimed to love Jasper, and Rosalie's seen it, she's seen how she treats him, there's no doubt she loves and cares about him.
But at the end she was doing nothing but hurting him too, she should just decide once and for all if she was serious about him or not, did she want him back or not? Couldn't she see she was hurting him when she got like that?
He didn't deserve that, she got it, she was waiting for him to get stronger in case he does leave, he needs to be strong if he wants to survive out there, life isn't easy for nomads, much less for lone nomads.
Even less for someone with his reputation.
Point is, can't she do it deciding whether she wants him or not? If she wants to let him go and put distance between them she should start by setting boundaries.
No hand holding, no nightly visits and sweet talk whenever he has a nightmare, no hair petting, no leaning against him, no spoon feeding, because yes, Rosalie saw her, she should have also kept a much better distance with him at the lake, she shouldn't have smiled all lovey dovey when he kissed her at the lake either.
She was practically playing with him, and that wasn't something Rosalie could just ignore, she didn't care if they were together in the past, she didn't care about the kisses or the sex that they might have had, this was the present, and right now, to him, she was a complete stranger.
All he knew is that he was completely infatuated by Alice.
And that she wasn't putting stop to his advances and actions, he was clueless regarding the fact that she knew him, and that the reason she permitted all his actions was because she missed him and because she had loved him.
Hell, he might not even realize what he was feeling for her nor that what she let him get away with wasn't normal in a regular interaction between acquaintances nor even friends.
If she was serious about getting him back, she should tell him the truth, and if she wanted to let him go, she should set boundaries, was that so hard to do?
And even so, how could she make that choice for him? How could she be so sure he would leave? That was another thing, Alice was sure he would leave even if he knew the truth, it all fell back to Jasper's death.
Rosalie wondered what had happened there, what led Alice to believe he would leave her? If he still had subconscious feelings for her which was what led his actions towards her, Rosalie couldn't see the reason for him to want to leave.
It was clear he liked Alice, a lot, he would get that dumbstruck look on his face whenever he looked at her, she's seen how he looks at her when he thinks no one is looking, and she's isn't stupid nor is she blind, ever since that night where he got into Alice's room he's been much more physical, always clinging to her, always holding her hand whenever he has her within reach, and he's always sneaking into her room at night.
Again, Alice should seriously put boundaries if she wants to make him desist, point is, Rosalie has the feeling something must have happened that night, whatever was it has led him to be much more impulsive towards Alice.
He is less shy with her than he used to be, and Rosalie worried he might end up getting hurt because Alice can't make up her mind.
She will never admit it out loud, but she's grown to like him quite a bit, he's a bit naive at times, and much too curious for his own good, but he is awfully smart, he has an amazing talent at playing any card game, and chess.
He can be stubborn, and while he's still skittish she's been teaching him to not let himself be talked into a corner, to not cower, he was once one of the deadliest and most terrifying vampires out there, he shouldn't be driven into submission so easily.
She hates The Major and what he did, but Jasper isn't that monster, and she won't let him become that again if she can, but she won't let him become a slave to fear either, he shouldn't let what happened to him dictate his life, he shouldn't let himself become weak just because of what was done to him.
Point is, she likes him, more than she could have ever expected, but she guesses it's in part because of how much she relates to him, plus, there's something about him that just makes her want to protect him, he looks…
Frail.
It's an hilarious thought if she's being honest, he's stronger and much bigger than her, hell, he's even older than her, there should be nothing frail about him.
Even more so because she would never call a man frail, it's a preposterous thought.
And still.
Whenever she looks at him, that's what she sees, he seems frail, vulnerable, he's been through hell and back, gone through things no one deserved to go through because of other people's sick greed, and now that he's free he seems at times like he's barely keeping the pieces together.
It makes her want to protect him.
-Here, try these.- She told, throwing a bag of peanut butter cookies infront of him, when she was human, she had liked spreading a bit of peanut butter on salted crackers so she could eat them with a cup of milk and honey.
Her secret snack that she ate in the attic so no one would judge her for eating such "unrefined" things, but she could have cared less, she had liked eating those, specially when she felt down. She wished she could have gotten to taste those peanut butter cookies, Renesmee liked them a lot, but who didn't like peanut butter?
She watched him turn the bag around for a moment, almost as if inspecting it, this before giving her an odd look. And it took her nothing but a fleeting moment to realize what was wrong.
And when she does she has no idea how to take it, because what is he even taking from movies if something so simple and basic goes over his head?
But again, he does have the tendency to forget things, so she can't exactly blame him.
-Seriously?- Even if she voices her disbelief she still takes the bag from him and opens it infront of him, making a point at doing it slow enough so he will understand how to do it next time. She then hands him the bag back.- There, see? It's not so hard.
-Thank you.- He mumbles, leaning down to take a whiff from the bag before looking up at her.- What is it?
-Peanut butter cookies, go on, try them, they are good.- She coaxed, he still gave her a suspicious look, but he did take a cookie out, staring down at it for a moment before eating it. She didn't miss the way his eyes lit up at it, and she considered herself successful.
Good, at least that would give him something else to focus on.
She did admit she was a bit jealous of him at times, with that of him being able to eat human food, the hair growth, the heartbeat, sleeping…
Such human traits.
And still, she was also glad she wasn't, because black bloods had such a terrible time.
Rosalie was sure his black blood status was also what had led the Volturi to kidnap and break him like that.
~
Edward doesn't like Jasper much, and while avoiding him at first was easier because of his difficulty to walk, now not so much.
He was all over the place.
And alright, Edward wasn't asshole enough to want him to not leave his room ever, guy spent decades chained like a dog, he's been locked away long enough.
But it still irks at him to see him roaming around the house, because what if he lashes out again? His gift had left clear that if he puts his mind into it he can subdue them all without lifting a finger and just kill them.
Carlisle had said that Bella might be able to block Jasper's gift if something did happen, but Edward had the feeling it might not turn out as well as at the church.
At the church he had been starved and almost disoriented, what if now that he was stronger and very much aware he could do more?
And still, as much mistrust as he has towards him, as much wariness and just flat out dislike he has for him.
He has no clue what to do right now.
He had come downstairs when he heard someone at the piano, all in order to find him sitting at the piano and staring intensely at the keyboard.
It felt like a Deja Vu as Alice's words came back to him.
"And while he wouldn't have liked Edward much at first because of his gift, they would have found even ground because of their love for music, he knew how to play the guitar, he would have asked Edward to teach him how to play the piano and in exchange he would have taught him how to play the guitar."
He scowled at the reminder, he was not gonna fall for that, no matter how much he did wish someone in this family could find actual interest in music aside from it being a hobby or just something to listen to in the background.
But this is the same guy who almost killed him, how can Edward just be fine with that?
But he guesses Alice had a point too, it hadn't been him nor had he meant it, PTSD was a bitch, blaming him for something he had no control over wasn't fair.
Didn't mean it made it any easier to face him.
"Be nice."- Esme's warning voice made him turn to look at her, she was sitting at the couch with a book at hand, giving him a look.
He wasn't an idiot, he wasn't gonna shout at him like he would do at Emmett if he caught him at the piano. He knew better than that, plus, if he upsets him Alice will break his jaw, his favorite brother or not, she's left more than clear that when it comes to Jasper she won't hesitate to lash out.
Edward could have never seen her being capable of violence, but again, ever since she trained them to fight against Victoria's newborns he's been seeing her on a new light, that regardless of how innocent and harmless she looked, she could fight.
And of course she could, he had a feeling Jasper himself had trained her, The Major who committed mass murder and trained newborns for a living in the South trained her fighting skills .
She was anything but harmless.
Still.
He watched him press one of the keys, the low note seeming to be enough to startle him, he seems rather curious about it, and Edward finds himself watching him as he keeps on pressing keys experimentally with no rhythm whatsoever.
It surprises him that he doesn't feel the urge to pull him away from the piano, he only lets Renesmee, Bella and Rosalie play it, they are the only ones who know how to play it.
But unlike Emmett, he at least doesn't hit the keys, Emmett's more of a drums guy.
The piano was not meant for him, Emmett liked loud instruments or just ones he could hit.
He stares at Jasper for a bit longer before sighing internally, why did he had the feeling Alice had done this on purpose? Why else would Jasper get anywhere near the piano when he would never touch anything that wasn't his or was prompted to?
Still.
He finds himself approaching him, prompting this one to freeze when he realizes he's been caught.
Edward sits with him.
And against his better judgement he finds himself speaking, because maybe, just maybe, Bella might be right on the part where showing him kindness might get him to reconsider if he does get his memories back and remembers who he is.
Because while he was good with Alice, she was his mate, no one could be sure of how he might react to other vampires, even more so after what was done to him.
So, he guessed it was smart to get on his good graces.
-Do you want me to show you how to play?- He offers, pulling out one of the easier music sheets.
-Would you?- Jasper asks, pure wonder in his voice. Edward clears his throat awkwardly.
-Sure.
-But why? You don't like me.- Jasper said, he didn't sound recriminating nor even bothered, more like he was stating a fact.
And Edward can almost feel Esme's stare at the back of his head, she isn't thinking anything directly at him, but he knows she's waiting, ready to interject if he so much as dares to speak ill to Jasper.
It irritates him sometimes, how much Esme and Carlisle and just about anyone stands with Jasper, even Bella would defend him, as if he wasn't a ticking bomb who almost killed him.
But again, he knows it's not his fault, and he knows it's logical for them to defend him when he's so… pitiful.
But it still irritates him.
He knows it's childish and stupid for him to be jealous over this guy that's gone through hell and back.
But he still does.
Because he appeared out of nowhere and it feels like he's taking over the house, and no one seems bothered with who he is and what he's proven to be capable of doing when provoked.
Someone could get hurt, or worse.
-No, but you want to learn, right? I don't mind teaching you. Whether I like you or not doesn't matter.- Edward told as a statement of fact, and if he was gonna stay…
Well, there was no point in trying to develop a bad relationship with him, he had a terrible relationship with Rosalie for years, he didn't felt like going through the same again, much less with someone with The Major's background.
He doesn't want to be on his bad side, doesn't want to risk his anger, because no matter what Edward thinks he knows that at the end of the day.
Jasper was stronger than him, and it's a thought that terrifies him, because if he can't be subdued, how is Edward suppose to protect his family?
Thus, getting on his good graces is it.
Even if that means having to interact with him.
But he would always do anything to protect his family.
A/N: Much like the cobbler, I used an internet recipe to write the jam part, step by step, so if it's wrong, well, I don't cook man, I melted a burner boiling water once XD
