Aleksander

What the hell is wrong with me?

Aleksander wrenched himself from Alina's limp frame. Flopping flat on his back next to her, working to catch his breath. Gazing up at the ceiling of the cave, he panted. Drifting his eyes over the glowing mushrooms that litter the space above him, like stars in the night sky, till his breaths came easy again.

This is why I didn't want her to touch me, to satisfy me…

He had told her that he wouldn't go farther than just making her feel good. Yet, he lost control for a minute. One measly minute and ruined everything, all of his self-restraint shattering. And, now he had no idea how to put the pieces back together. What was he thinking? Which only begs a scarier question: How was he going to be able to hold back, now that he had gotten a taste of her?

"Fuck.." He whispered, squeezing his eyes tight, grinding the heel of his palms into his sockets. She was like a drug, and he was becoming an addict. Constantly telling himself, 'just a little more won't hurt,' 'I'm in control, I can handle it.'

Then, before he knew it, he was biting at the bit to have his hands on her. To taste her skin, to take what he wanted. What he needed . It was despicable, yet exhilarating. Searing his conscience with every haunting caress. Till he hated himself for not feeling more guilty. Justifying his actions, with every kiss, every flutter of her long innocent eyelashes.

He let his head fall to the side, drinking in Alina's beauty. She was on her back with her face pointed at him, with her arms splayed over her head, finger woven into the tip of her curly hair. Her pale rosy skin that shined like silk ribbons, her lashes touching her full cheeks. Dark amber hair blossoming all around her, just as wild as she was. Her button nose, tinted red with freckles that kissed its bridge, the bite mark red and angry against her pale neck.

If I'm not careful this woman will be the end of me. A low groan rumbled in his chest, as he studied her

The azure light bouncing off of her with every shallow breath, serving to only enhance her unrated spender. Making her lips and nipples look a deeper red. Turning almost violet, under the shimmering plants over her. He swallowed hard, as milky white breast sunk and fell with her sleeping breaths, entrancing him.

He turned on his side, noticing her bloomers exposing her pale legs, barely clinging to her sharp hips. He felt a scowl form on his brows, his seed still scared her flat stomach, smeared up to between her petite breasts. Her body was still covered with the evidence of his orgasm, and it caused a rush of panic to course through him.

He trained his black eyes on the sticky mess, both aroused and concerned by the sight. Disturbed at the fact that he didn't feel guilt, when he looked at her this way. Or at least, way less guilty than he should be feeling, after pinning a young girl down, and grinding into her stomach.

When was the last time I've cum by grinding alone? Am I a teenager? I can't believe that I was even able to orgasm from so little contact. But, just thinking about being inside of her…

Nauseated by his own thoughts, he quickly grabbed her ripped corset from the water and cleaned her off the best that he could without waking her. The action seemed almost like he was concealing a crime. He couldn't help but feel like a child who hides something that he broke, before anyone could find out.

God, I am a monster. I'm just corrupting her with every touch. How have I fallen to this? I should be viewing her like someone to take care of, not to defile. Yet, I have done just that. Not only have I already defiled her, I want to do it even more now…

Once done cleaning her, Aleksander groaned, scrubbing his face with his hands, trying to wipe away the shame that plagued him. He hated himself, as much as she most likely hated him, too. She was so bright, until he tore her heart from its chambers. He truly felt guilty about that, but he just couldn't muster up the guilt for touching her anymore.

She was becoming jaded, just as he was. And somewhere deep below his callousness, that's what frightened him the most.

Before, every time she smiled it made his chest tight and palms sweat. Not only that, it came so easily. She'd practically light up the room with her laughter, and was music to his ears. Alina was a girl that gave her smiles freely to him, even if he was a monster. But, today her eyes seemed hollow, and her smile felt strained. How often would he get to see that true smile of hers, now that he broke her spirit? The thought sent a punch to his gut, and pinched his face tight. He sucked in breath, but only dread filled his lungs.

He sighed, with the hope that it would lighten the weight in his chest. But it didn't. He was starting to lose his hold on his inner darkness more and more, and he knew it. Now it was starting to seep into his little sun, darkening even her light. After she had asked him to fuck her, it has used every last bit of self-control, not to do exactly as she asked.

Since then, It's been nearly impossible to control the urge to claim her. To Make every part of her, his own. He knew that he shouldn't have let her touch him, yet he let her do just that. With his resolve waning, he wondered if he'd ever find the will to resist the yearning again. He was like playing with fire, but it was Alina that was going to be burned.

I saw it in her eyes, the numbness. And, even then I still didn't stop. I just wanted nothing more than to bury myself deep inside of her, make her scream my name, over and over and over again. Till she was breathless, till she was crying, till she only saw me.

Aleksander's mind raced. He parted his fingers, studying her face once more through his digits. Alina exhaled a small snort. Her little nose wrinkled before a mewing something he couldn't make out. He froze, as she curled onto her side, tucking her knees chest facing him fully now. Then, back to peaceful sleep. He huffed a short quiet laugh, making a small smile form on his lips.

He let his hands fall scudding closer to her, his face inches from her angelic slumbering form. As close as he could get without making skin to skin contact. He brushed away a stray curl that clung to her parted lips. He let his palm fall with the strand, twirling it around his digit, as he rested his head on his folded elbow getting comfortable. The moss below him, thick and soft bending under his weight.

His body was so tired. He hadn't slept for a full two days now and after his release, his head was aching for blissful unconsciousness. But, his hungry eyes still refused to turn away from his Solntse.

He just wanted to enjoy her peace, when he could. He could memorize her forever, and never grow tired of her subtle mysteries, that her features held. Like, a little cherub that sleeps next to him.

He pulled her small body into his, breathing her in despite his mind screaming at him not to touch her, not to soil the beautiful creature. Placing a chase kiss at her hair line. He slipped his eyes closed letting his lips linger there, as her little hands curled around his waist, her face nuzzling into the crook of his neck. She felt warm and perfect in his arms. She was soft and silky, insightful and sparky.

Everything he wasn't.

He began to slip into welcoming slumber as her warm calm breaths danced over his neck. Savoring the way her velvety breasts molded to his chest with the rhythm of her expanding lungs. A small spark of hope, tugged at the nothingness behind his rips, when she pulled closer to him. Alina had wedged herself so deep into the cavern of darkness that was his heart that it hurt. It hurt just as much, as it comforted him. But the longer she remained there, the higher the chances that she'd eventually strike a nerve.

Please forgive me, when I hurt you. Don't leave me. Just stay a little longer, my sweet Alina.

? ゚ブ?

Flames licked at his ankles, dulled from the lurches of dreams. A gut curdling scream clawed up his throat, burning worse than the fire crawling up his legs. Tearing sting his eyes, like a thousand tiny needle pricks. He fought them as hard as he could, but he lost the battle that day. Smoke filling his lungs, the putrid sweet smell of his own melting flesh, meeting his nostrils. He hacked till he thought he was going to puke, but there was nothing in his stomach, or else he feared would have.

He searched for his mother in the crowd, but she was nowhere to be found. He noticed someone else's mother gasping. Her child tugged close to her chest. The little child clung to his mother, toe-headed with tears in his little eyes. Altering him to his own hideousness at that moment.

He focused on a little boy as he sobbed and his body trembling. Aleksander wondered if he was crying from the sight that reflected in the boy's teary eyes, or the claims of what the Darkling had done to the princess. His crimes, being repeated over and over again, by the priest stationed him.

Then, he spotted her... She was up in the stands that engulfed the area. He pleaded with her, but only with his eyes. Refusing to beg for his life openly, so that the crowd couldn't mock his weakness.

Zoya..

Beautiful as always in a lacy blue dress that she loved so much. Her pitch black hair blowing in the wind, covering the bottom half of her face, but he could still see it in her eyes. Even with the smoke that made his eyes water and the flames that spread higher. It was clear as the fire, below him.

The disgust, but it was on Alina's face now. It was her that was watching him burn this time. Her big round eyes, filled with hatred.

Aleksander's chest caved in, crushing what little hope he had left for humanity. He wanted to hide from her pitying gaze, not wanting her to see him this way. If he was going to die that day, this isn't how he wanted her to remember him.

As broken, and ugly.

"Don't look.." Aleksander pleaded, his voice breaking, his lips curling back with his sobs, as the flames finally kissed his wet cheeks, brutally drying his tears. He felt his cheeks starting to burn so violently, that it felt icy cold. It confused him even then.

What did she see when she looked at me? How hideous do I look to her now, with my cheeks melting under my tears, and hair falling away? Does my outside, finally match my inside?

He couldn't help but scream her name one last time, before he focused his eyes on her now visible lips, reading them as they moved slowly.

'Monster.'

? ゚ブ?

He sprung up at the feeling of little hands, sprinkling water over his face. Snatching a dainty wrist harshly, black eyes wildly traced Alina's face. Her doe eyes wide in shock. He frowned, feeling unnoticeably embarrassed, under her concerned gaze. He hated showing weakness, even in his sleep. He clears his throat and ran his free hand through his hair, letting numbness seep into his bones, once more.

"I tried shaking you first, but you didn't wake up.." She grumbled her justification, voice still heavy with sleep. "You seemed in pain, groaning and twitching."

Her hair was in knots around her, her eyes rounded as she watched him gather himself, still holding tightly to her arm. She was stunning. Even now, ruffled by sleep, lips parted still bruised from rough kisses and a bite mark bright on her pale skin. It already looked more healed than earlier. He let out a long breath that was trapped in his chest.

She still heals slower than me, but faster than most…

"Alina.." He breathed out, moving to lace his finger's between hers. They fit like puzzle pieces. Pulling her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles with more gentleness than he felt. He didn't know what to do with the relief that started to blossom in his chest at the sight of her. It felt feign to him, unreal. It made him almost uncomfortable. She was his little light in the darkness, and all he wanted was to set her aflame again. But, once again he reminded himself that playing with Alina was like playing with fire. Unpredictable.

"You were having a nightmare, I was only trying to help..." Alina whispered after a long moment, letting him adjust his surroundings. Her voice was like a soothing balm to his nerves, and he hated it, because he knew he didn't deserve it.

"I know." He managed with a grunt. He released her hand, to capture her thin fingers, running the back of her hand along his lips and cheek. Enjoying the silky feeling of her skin against his mouth, his thumb moving back and forth over her small knuckles. Strange, how small they felt in his hand.

"Was it the same one that you told me about?" Her voice was soft, almost meek to his ears. And a deep, dark part of him liked the tone on her lips. He didn't want to admit it, but he reveled in the way that Alina seemed to bow to him occasionally. She was such a headstrong girl, that it drilled a sick pride in his chest. The Darkling was sure that he was the only one that saw this side of her. Her weakness. He wanted to fight that part of himself, but he lost that battle as well.

"Yes.." He ground out, memories flooding back in unwillingly, practically feeling the flames once more. He pinched the bridge of his nose, dropping her hand in the process. Trying his hardest to focus on the captivating girl beside him, not the disgusted expression of the women in his dreams.

"But, I have my sweet Solntse to save me from my nightmares, don't I?" He joked drily, without humor touching his face other than a small twitch at the corner of his lips.

"Whatever makes you feel better, I guess..." A slow flush began to spread across her high cheekbones, her golden orbs darting everywhere but his face. He felt his lips begin to curl, not able to hide how adorable she was. She was so painfully darling, that he wanted to bite her neck again. It was like the feeling you get when you see a cute kitten and have an urge to squeeze it as tight as you can. So adorable that you could feel yourself wanting to break the subject of the cuteness.

I want to squeeze her a little. Only a little… He reasoned with himself.

He glances over her still bare chest, down to her white shorts that were practically see through, before instantly back to her eyes that remained trained on his lips. He tried his best to ignore her body, but it was so difficult when she sat virtually naked before him.

Like a plated meal, begging to be eaten. Just a bite wouldn't hurt, right?

Aleksander let all the emotion slip from his face at that thought. He couldn't believe that he was trying to excuse himself, again. Perhaps it was time to finally come to terms with the fact that he was indeed; a Monster.

What was the point in fighting that part of himself? If he wanted her to accept all of him, why pretend otherwise? He found himself, lingering on the memory of the way her shaky hand felt around him, her hesitant strokes. He wanted more, so much more. The surprise in her little doe eyes, when he grinded into her stomach. Forcing her pretty pink lips to curse, despite not liking when she usually did. In the moment, he envisioned himself deep inside of her, connected in the most intimate of ways.

Do I wantto punish her? Do I want to dirty her? He was yanked from his thoughts, as her silk voice melted back into him.

"Do you miss her?" Alina asked as she pulled a red plump lip between her teeth, a pang of something flashed across her golden orbs, but he couldn't tell what it was.

I want to be the one to bite her lips, or just touch her. I'll just touch, I'll be fine. I'm in control. He shook off the assaulting thoughts.

Aleksander placed his hand to her neck, almost of its own free will. Aching to feel the silky skin under his fingers. Humming at the feel of rushing blood, through that pulsing vein right where her neck meets her jaw. He clenched his teeth, trying his best to restrain the beast that clawed within him. Fingers skimming across his bite mark, now black and blue, not just red. The part of him that wanted to leave purple and blue marks all over her porcelain skin, for nothing else but to claim her as his own. He felt his dick twitch at the thought of giving her a bruised collar in the shape of his hand. He wanted to add to his one masterpiece on the crook of her neck and shoulder. He wanted to cover her.

Okay stop Aleksander… You can't control yourself past this. His right mind finally chimed in.

Despite the mental objections, he kept his hand still on her neck. Watching as her eyes grow only slightly with a mixture of confusion and surprise, before relaxing again. She was starting to shut down again, feeling safe. He truly wasn't sure if her feeling safe, was he wanted or not.

She shouldn't feel safe around me. I'm not safe.

Shaking his head slowly, as he drew her closer. He pressed his nose to her temple, letting the feather light strands of her hair grace his cheek. He breathed deeply, drinking in the smell that was Alina. Like clothes that were dried in the morning sun, and soft vanilla fused with hints of lemon. She smelled clean, innocent even. A smell that was endangered in his side of the world.

Stop, Don't touch her anymore. You need to stop. His mind begged.

Just one more taste . He mentally responded.

"I love how you smell." His lips pressed to the shell of her ear, wrapping his fingers fully around her throat, loving how his hand could fit so easily around her life source. He wanted to grip tight, but resisted the urge to squeeze, just holding her to him. Letting his lips merely linger beside her ear, fighting the need to sink his teeth into it.

He loved her thin neck, and beauty mark that he wanted to bite, ears that flushed just as bright as her cheeks. She remained still under his fingers, before tipping her chin to look directly into his eyes. Golden pools piercing through him like beams of light. Their noses grazing against each other. She was giving him a light Eskimo kiss, her eyes mirroring his hungry ones.

Aleksander could feel her breaths on his face, the way they grew choppy and stiff, her pluses beating rapidly under his fingers.

Hadn't anyone told her not to look a predator in the eyes? We take it as a challenge.

STOP NOW. His mind screamed back at him.

"Don't try to distract me, again.. Answer me." Alina spoke shakily, yet commanding. It was an intoxicating mixture. He loved when she pretended she was brave. It was cute watching her eyes fierce, like a kitten pretending to be a lion.

"Do you miss her or not?" She snapped. More confident now, seeing a smirk that was most likely growing on his lips. Which was instantly whipped away when she huffed. "Or are you going to keep avoiding simple questions? Because, I thought we were past this."

"Do you still miss him ?" Aleksander growled, not liking her tone, his hold on her neck, marginally constricting. He had to keep reminding himself that her sudden interest was just because of her aching heart, not because of her growing attraction.

Take your hand from her neck. She doesn't even want you, she wants that boy that you left alive, in the village. So let her go.

Alina confirms his thoughts, when she pales. Her heart shaped face faltered to a sharp glare. Not meeting his gaze, sending daggers over his shoulder. "I asked first."

Aleksander wished that it didn't hurt, but it did. The heartbroken girl was still using him as a distraction. He wasn't surprised, people's hearts don't change overnight, just because you gave them an orgasm. But, he pushed away the thoughts of her love for that stupid boy.

I will make this girl forget all about him, even if I have to fuck it out of her.

No you will not. Stop it, now.

"No, I'm more interested in little brats." Aleksander smirked, as her pink lips pulled into the sweetest little pout, her golden circles narrowing further. He rubbed his thumb up and down the vein that beat under his motions, relishing the subtle thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Using it to stabilize himself.

"I'm not a brat.." She grumbled with a huff, stiffening in his hand. Two little hands coming up to rest on his bare chest pushing against his slightly, her eyes flickering down to his lap. He glanced down too, a little shocked at the budge that was forming under his boxers. He had no idea that he was even hard. He looked back up at her face, feeling a smirk tugging his lips. Noticing her now scarlet face.

STOP! SHE DOESN'T WANT THIS.

"Oh, do you like what you see?" Aleksander chuckled, loving to teasing her. He just couldn't help but see that cute little aggravation spark. "M y little brat."

Her nose scrunched, like she was trying her best to not let his words affect her. He wanted her to act out, to get angry. He wanted any excuse to punish her. He tormented himself for so long, about not being a good person. It was exhausting and he was tired.

Please just stop… His mind gave one last plea. I'm so tired…

Come on little sun, stop me… before I can't stop myself. Please.

He knew that he was losing control, but he was tired of fighting. Tired of trying. Something about Alina, casted all of his control out the window. After so many women before her, she is the only one to make him lose his hold. The one and only person that Aleksander wanted to protect, is the very same person he wanted to give pleasured pain to. To corrupt. To ruin. He wanted to hurt her, but he wished that he could love her. He wondered if he even had it in him to love…

"You're an asshole." Alina's words were firm, making the edge of his lip twitch. She has so much fight for such a small thing. It made him tingle all over, sending vibrations of heat to his already hard cock. She was like a toy he could play with forever. And he was starting to think she'd never break. Aleksander thought she was broken, but a broken girl could never speak up for herself the way his sweet Solntse does. She wasn't broken, just chipped.

He roughly tugged her forward, hovering his lips over hers, letting his fingers squeeze into the tender flesh of her neck, seeing her face go red from the lack of blood, her perky lips falling open.

"Once again, it's not very ladylike to curse, you know, my sweet Alina." Aleksander's voice fell to gravel, his body heating as her little fingers, instantly clawed at his wrists, digging her nails into his skin. He tightened his grip just a little more, making sure that he wasn't cutting off all of her air, just mostly the blood flow. Her face began to grow almost violet, as she clamped her legs closed in her kneeling position, rubbing them together. Her plump ass wiggling, under her.

He paused, eyes glued to her milk thighs, tilting his head to one side. Her skin turning flushed all over now, a breathy whimper falling from her lips. It sounded almost like a moan to his ears. Her nipples darkened to a dusty red, perky and erect. He lingered on her small breast, his mouth watering. Goosebumps covering her supple skin, lips parted as more little wines fell from them.

"Alek.." She choked out, her doe's falling half-lidded.

Is she…

A dark bubble of realization began to float into his mind, as he licked his lips.

Is the pain turning her on? She may not be glowing, but nonetheless I bet if touched her pretty little pussy... She'd be dripping.

Don't. Don't. Stop! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER! NOW! YOU'RE ABOUT TO SNAP!

Unable to pull his focus away from the wetness that began to tint her shorts, turning the white to gray between her thighs. The war in his skull, still ragging violently on. like his brain was being torn in half. One that was screaming that this was an invitation, the other reminding him that this is not right. Not good. That he was about to do something he would regret again, but his body was moving completely on its own at this point. He was merely a passenger to his own twisted desires.

But, he was never a good man. He was a villain, her villain .

Aleksander snapped his blackholes back to her innocent face, numbness lacing into her delicate features. He didn't want to ignore the familiar look of her disassociating. But, it only made him want to push her further, craving a reaction.

Maybe, I can just snap her out of it.

"Touch yourself." He demanded, cold and distant, the last of his control keep his voice steady. He wanted to share his realization with her, maybe then he'd get to see something in her eyes. Reaction to anything at all.

He didn't just want her body answering his call. He knew as well as anyone, that your body has a way of betraying your heart. He wanted to see Alina's heart react to him, as well as her body. He wanted everything. Heart, soul, mind and body. He didn't care how selfish it was anymore.

She clamped her mouth shut, before shaking her head quickly. Alina looked dead eyed but anger played at her brows, but the shiver that ran down his spine, kept him from stopping. He wanted her to join him in his revelation.

He growled, snatching her hand and wrestling it down the front of her shorts instantly feeling warm liquid coating their hands. He forced her middle finger into her own core, the lewd sound of squelching and slurping surrounding them. The water beside them was calm, so it was just her wetness that echoed, bouncing off the cave walls.

She choked out a bitter moan, as wrath flooded her face, her thin brows pinched tight, a sick snarl twisting into her lips. A deep sense of sick pride overriding his conflicting psyche, as she finally started to show some emotion again. He let a low satisfied groan rumble in his chest, as her arousal dripped down her fingers into his hand. He captured her eyes again. A wicked smile tugged at his cheeks, as he lifted her slickened fingers to her face, smearing some of her juice over her parted lips.

"You like this don't you?" He scoffed in disbelief. He hardly believes it himself. This sweet and innocent girl enjoyed this monster that he tried so hard to keep hidden.

"No! I don't-

"DON'T LIE."

Alina froze, her face growing cold and flat, at his booming voice, having her reconsider her words. He watched as even the little bit of anger dwindled away, until a blank slate dangled from his fingers.

"What would you do, if I did?" Her hollow words sliced through the lustful cloud. Ice instantly jolted through his veins, snapping him out of his trace. "Or are you still trying to prove that you're holding back for me? It doesn't make a difference, anymore. So, go ahead. Do your worst."

"Oh, I'll do more than…" Cutting off his own words, he searched her face for a moment. Seeing something that he didn't quite understand. It wasn't just numbness, it was more… She's completely disassociated.

She's not using me as a distraction for that boy, she's using me to feel again…

Aleksander felt a small pit of resolve coming back in chest again. He instantly clung to it like a life raft, as drew his hands back slowly. It was completely emotionless, no lust, no love. Just nothing. She was dying before his very eyes, again. Not her body, but her soul.

Of course. He thought bitterly, already growing soft again.

I was so focused on controlling myself, that I couldn't see that, losing my control was what she was betting on. Either way, the only reason she's not fighting me is because she doesn't even care anymore.

"No.." He whispered, feeling some of his coldness starting thaw, revealing that same familiar self-hatred. He loosened the hold on her neck and let his fingers fall to her chest, laying his palm flat to her heart. "Stop asking me, I'm not going to do anything to you, Alina. Not till I know you're only thinking of me, I told you."

"What are you trying to prove!?" She asked again, still refusing to pull away, instead wrapping her dainty fingers covering his own. Pulling his hand back to her neck, rejecting twisting her soft features.

"Nothing. I just don't like the idea of you only choosing this, just to forget someone else. I'm not your damn band aid, Alina. You only want to be in pain, because it's the only thing you can feel right now" Placing the tip of his finger above her right breast. "You want the pain here, to match the rest of you. Like, calls to like."

"Think what you like, but you can't read my mind. You don't know that for sure. But, I know you like my pain, just like me. You can't hide that." Alina's golden eyes flickered to his crotch then back to his blackholes. "So, take what you want." She spit.

Boredom blazing behind her long lashes, her chin jutting out in defiance. But, he knew the little spark of a lie forming on her lips. She liked the pain in that moment, but he knew that it was just a mask. He refused to be her band aid. His pride demanded that she only look at him, only think of him.

That's why she didn't stop touching me, when I told her to. She was hoping I'd lose control. She wanted me to snap. I can't believe I let myself get so distracted, FUCK!

"You're correct, a part of me wants to give you pain and pleasure. Even now, even though I hate myself for it." He admits, a twinge of self-loathing weaving from his words. He lowered his head. A bitter laugh cracking out of his lungs, not waiting for her to look at his face. "You're so innocent. I just want to ruin it, be the one to destroy it. Being gentle with you is almost crueler for me, because I was born gentle or kind. I was born a monster, but…"

"Then don't be gentle!" She growled, grabbing his hands and tugging it to her chest, right above her breast, heart wildly under his palms. Trying to force them up to her neck.

"Alina." He warned, shaking his head, roughly yanking his hands from her grasp, despite wanting to just pull her closer.

"If I asked for you to hurt me, wouldn't that make it easier? Why won't you just try..."-

"Alina, I said no." Aleksander let a tired sign out, finally kneeling down so that they were eye level. Bubbles of rage flooded his expression, he could feel it as his jaw ticked. Shocked, but also frustrated by her words. "Stop asking me to f-

"I don't want sex, you fool! I just want you to stop acting like some kind of saint all of a sudden, acting like your above hurt me! When you've already done it so many times!" Alina scoffs as she covers her chest, trying to hide her emotional vulnerability, as well as her physical one. "Ooooh, but now that I finally consent..." She drew out her words, her eyes flicking to the ceiling as they rolled with an unhinged cackle breaking from her little lungs.

The sound making Aleksander's stomach twist with the familiarity of her emotions. Knowing them, first hand. He rolled his jaw, but allowed her to continue. Because she was right of course, he can see her frustration. So, why was he trying so hard now, other than the fact that his horrible mind enjoyed it when she fought him. He missed that version of her, the angry, annoyingly hopeful, never wavering little sun. He wanted her back, and hurting her more was only going to make her more jaded. It was for selfish reasons, but it was going to help her nonetheless.

"When, I finally ask you to take my mind of things, but noooo!" She draws out the 'no,' sarcastically. "That's asking too much!" She laughs again, completely humorously, shaking her head in disbelief.

He found himself preferring her tears over this pained laughter. It reminded him of himself. He never wanted that from the sweet girl that he had once found in the woods.

"Do something! ANYTHING! I just want to feel something, anything at all, other than this!" She slams a fist to her chest, letting him know where her real pain lay.

Aleksander glared at her, annoyed that he still couldn't keep himself from looking at breasts. Her eyes are completely emotionless and dry, but red with dilated. Like, she had no more tears left to cry, but that's what her soul longed for. Alina just wanted his touch only if it was harsh, that's why she pulled away from all the tender touching earlier, when they made their way to the lake. He was caught between wanting to slap her for her stupidity and slapping himself for not catching it as soon as last time.

My gentleness hurts her too.. Maybe my toy has broken… Not as strong as she seems.

"Please…" A flicker of something washed over her face, before leaving just as fast. "Please, just stop holding back."

"Why would you ask me to do that?" He seethed through clenched teeth, he stood. Walking closer he searched her face, but only finding mild resentment curling the corner of her eyes, as they narrowed.

"Because, It's all pointless now! Hit me, kick me! Hell, Fuck me. I don't care, as long as I feel something!" She yelled.

"God, you're a child! You have no idea what you're saying, what you're asking! FUCK ALINA! You want me to fucking hurt you?!" He gripped her thin biceps harshly, and shook her in frustration. His own bitter laugh crawling up his throat, falling back on his ass. "While, I'm doing everything in my power to hold back, for you! Don't you see that.." He spoke the words like a death sentence.

Alina instantly tried to catch his hands, but he swatted them away. He ground his fingers into his temple, combating his psyche. He pushed away visions of her writhing in pleasured pain under his hands, for the words in his mind.

"Can't you see that the only person I'm scared of is myself?" Aleksander signed willing his rage to a dull simmer. He knew that he shouldn't be chastising her about the way she's dealing with her pain, but he needed her to understand. Even at the cost of his own pride. She couldn't keep pushing him like this. "I'm trying my best here… I know that I was born a monster, but for you and you only, I'm trying not to be one."

And it's torture.

Burying his head in his hands, dragging his nails over his scalp, tousling his inky locks. All he could see was his hands around her neck, feeling her pulse on his fingers, but he pushed it from his mind, refusing to give her any more of his thoughts. She was forcing him to hold a mirror to his own ugliness. Which only caused the urge to punish her, to ruin her, that much more enticing.

Alina's face seemed to soften back to a mild pained frown, her eyes darting seemingly snapping out of her little outburst. He wondered if it was his words that brought her back, or just the reality of the situation that she was in. But, her eyes grew remorseful. He signed, wishing that he didn't have to make her feel that, because none of this was her fault, and she has every right to demand things from Aleksander.

"I'm sorry, I wasn'-

"Don't fucking apologize, just shut up." He growled, as he had to struggle harder against his own mind, forcing beautiful and violent images down, with more self-hatred. Her voice, only causing more cruel dreams to filter in. He leaned against the cave wall, sliding down into a sitting position, just needing her silence for a moment, as he collected himself. Reined himself in.

Why am I like this? I'm making her feel bad, because she's hurting and has no idea how to cope with it. I took her from the only home she knew, put her in solitary confinement… Not only that, but the only hope she had left was that stupid boy. She lost her first love on top of everything and I'm just trampling over her delate state. Have I really gotten too old to relate to that feeling? To me it was nothing, merely a paper cut of the soul. But, to her. This has to be the worst pain she has ever experienced.

I shouldn't have gotten carried away, I'm getting too comfortable with her. Letting myself slip… I hate who I am, I don't want her to see me like that. I want her to see me as her prince of darkness, not the monster that lurks within it. But that's who I am..

Why am I even trying to make her feel for me? This isn't even why I took her in the first place. I've lost my original objective, all because of this one hopeless girl. What makes her so different? Was it the fact that she fought me for so long? It shouldn't make a difference. I need to get by shit together.

Aleksander noticed Alina slowly squatting in front of him, remaining completely silent, as she moved to kneel in front of his curled form. Small knees settled between his propped legs, as she moved some of his hair from his face. He refused to look at her, but she rested her little hand on his cheek.

"You're right. I won't ask again." Alina whispered, her face still as neutral, but her eyes serious. The confused man savored her touch, her hesitant fingers on his face. Hating that he couldn't bring himself to push her misguided affections away.

"That's not.." A tug at his empty heart, feeling torn at her words. "Just be quiet, I… I just need silence." He let his hands fall to his lap, stubbornness building in his bones. The fact that Alina could ever enjoy the monster inside of himself, was merely a pipe dream. That was clear to him now.

Breath, and focus. She means nothing to you. No more than every other girl. You have to keep telling yourself that. Never lose sight of it again.

Aleksander quickly got up, sending Alina tumbling backward, not caring that she landed harshly on her palms and butt. He flinched, but refused to help her up, still set on not letting his emotions get to him, again.

"We're leaving." He grunted feeling all of his passion fade away. He wasn't angry or upset. Be let the numbness pool inside of his deep cavern once more, as he grabbed her to his frame. He ignored the little gasp, as he dove back into the water, carrying her along with him. He also ignored her hic's and mews, as she struggled to keep her head above the water. He just wanted to go home, sleep in his own bed.

But most of all he wanted to forget, the way her eyes looked when he asked if she missed that village boy. The sadness made him sick. Sadness that he should be causing, not that boy. I want her to want me..

He was getting too involved in his feelings, he still had a mission to carry out, he just needed to keep his priorities straight.

I'm done growing tired of this passion play. I should have never gotten this involved, this interest. Yes, I want her. Yes, I wish I could be what she wanted. But, that was never originally a part of the plan. Damn, the way I feel, I just need to keep moving forward. Whether I like it or not. She's broken, now time to build her back up in my image of what I need her to be.

This time I won't let my emotions get in the way.

? ゚ブ?

ALINA

He called me a child..

Her ribs ached at her thought, but it wasn't as biting as it once would have been. She truly felt hollow. The one thing she didn't want him to say. But it was true, he saw her as a stupid immature girl. Once that he would play with for entertainment.

His works in the forest about doing anything for her, rang hollow to her now. She couldn't stop thinking about his words, as she sat on the luxurious bed, twirling a loose thread around her finger from the blanket. Eyeing Aleksander as he paced across from the bed, back and forth. Back and forth. Over and over again, practically burning a line into the marble floor under his boots.

Alina hadn't dared speak a word to him, since he told her to be silent in the cave. They were finally reaching a mild understanding of each other, so why did she have to push him again?

One step forward, two steps back.

Sure, perhaps she wanted him to hurt her a little, but it wasn't like she was trying to trick him into it. Yet, he made her feel like she was being completely unreasonable. As if he didn't obviously enjoy hurting her. She glanced down at her chained ankle and felt like he took the pretty necklace chain away out of spite.

Chewing on her lip, she allowed her eyes to linger back to his dancing fingers, that was curling shadows around them. Playing mindlessly with the darkness. Daylight filtered through the window behind him, making his powers stand out even more. She figured they must have slept throughout the night in that magical cave. She figured he must have been really tired to sleep for so long. She was going to let him sleep for longer too, if it wasn't for the pained expression he began to make as he dreamed.

I don't want to care. I want anything to matter, but it just doesn't. I know he's angry that I pushed him to lose control. I know that him calling me child hurt, but yet…

Nothing.

"You're making me dizzy." Alina grumbled, finally tired of the suffocating silence. She was alone for a month and she wasn't ready to go back into the silence, the darkness. She preferred his sharp tongue over the dull apathetic quiet.

Silence isn't much different than darkness. She thought with a shrug. No wonder Aleksander hated boredom so much. I guess, I really am starting to understand him a little more .

Aleksander froze, his profile sharp and beautiful, with his ink locks still falling, from his sudden motionlessness. "What did you say?" A growl rolled over the room like a sinister wave. Dark gray quartz making an appearance, from the of his eyes. Looking at her through dark lashes, shaded under his deep set glare.

Alina caught her breath, his calm rage making her tremble, but not out of fear. But, adrenalin. She didn't feel much, but the chemicals her body pumped through her veins made her at least physically feel.

Maybe Aleksander was right, I am a walking corpse.

"I'm just saying, you can think without walking can't you?" Alina breathed out, adjusting herself to sit criss crossed on the mattress, resting her elbows on the thick footboard of the bed. "Your boots are leaving scuff marking on the marble."

She expected him to break a small smirk or to catch a glimpse of amusement in those piercing eyes, like he usually did when she was being obstinate. Yet, Aleksander remains almost statuesque. His midway buttoned back shirt not even shifting, the only thing that continued to sway were the suspenders that hung loose from his hips, down to his mid thighs.

Alina huffed letting her chin fall into her hands, as she just let her eyes scan him, searching for an indicator of his next move.

"No cheeky response?"

"I don't give a fuck about the marble, Alina ." His voice was smooth, yet coldly dark. "Now shut up."

"No." Alina chirped almost pleasantly. "I went a month in silence. Found out, I don't much like it."

Aleksander let a long exasperated sigh fall from his lips, before the breath grew into a snarl. his head falling back as his eyes slipped closed. To Alina he looked like an angry god, trying to convince himself that killing one annoying ant was pointless.

"At least use words that I can understand… Instead of growling like a wild animal."

"Stop trying to piss me off, Alina." The Darkling speaking to the ceiling, his beautiful locks, falling back to reveal a very bored look on his angled features.

"Oh, are you trying not to hurt me right now? Is that it?"

A vein was starting to pop at his jaw. So despite his silence, he answered her loud and clear.

I see why he teased me so much at first, it's better than being bored.

"I see. Funny how you hurt me when I want kindness, and give me silence when I want pain? Are you going to start singing and dancing when I need peace and quiet?" The browned girl tilted her head side to side in her palms, leaning forward. Not that she could ever imagine the mysterious man, singing and dancing. Unless he was the phantom of the opera. She had to bite back a smile, at that thought.

"Yes Alina." He hissed through his perfect teeth. "I will even bring a booming orchestra. Now close your mouth, and keep it shut." He lowered his head, his profile still facing the girl only three steps away from him. Clouded gaze set on the scuff marks on the marble below him.

"Please" He tacked on for good measure, yet not sounding pleading in the least.

Alina pretended to think over it for a bit, pulling her arms taut over her head, stretching. "That please didn't sound very genuine."

Finally the bruting man turned his head almost robotically to fully face her, his chin tipped downward, eyes darkening back to starless night, under his lashes, his hair falling back into his face with the movement. "Pretty please?" His gravelly tone, sarcastic. Baring his teeth in a predatory, ironic smile.

"No." Alina grinned at him, letting her arms fall back to the foot board along with her elbows and face resting in her palms. "I prefer to speak. Thank you." She let her smile instantly fall, to a deadpan expression.

"Alina, I'm warning you." Aleksander's pivots on his feet, squaring his shoulders towards her with his hands diving into the pockets of his pants, his button down black shirt riding up nicely revealing a sliver of skin, between the bottom button of his shirt. "You want me to hurt you, but I highly doubt you'd enjoy me biting your tongue off."

Alina clicks her tug with huff. "Sure, but that requires you to kiss me. I'm pretty sure you'd enjoy that more than I would. So..- She was cut short with a hand clapping over her mouth.

Like a blur, another hand ceases the base of her head for additional security, so that the hand remains firm despite her thrashing. She hissed as her teeth crashed against the inside of her lips. Copper leaking to the tip of her tongue. Her eyes snapping wide, as he held her in place. His back straight, as he yanked her to his level, inches away from his shaded blank countenances.

A heavy breath steeped the air around them in fog, as he reveled in the momentary peace. "Alina…" He rumbled from deep in his chest. "I'll make you bite your own tongue, next time you speak, I will force your jaw shut on that pretty pink muscle. I've done it many times before, and it works like a charm. You forget that I can still make you wish you were dead, without ever touching you."

His words should have sent chills down her spine, or made her bones shake with pinprick eyes. Yet, once again. Nothing, but the heart beat in her ear could be registered, nothing of value at least.

"I'm going to pull my hands away, and you will remain quiet. Is that understood?"

Alina nodded slowly, already planning her next words the second his hand would leave her lips. He shoved her back hard, and unapologetically. So forceful that she traveled a good 6 feet back cratering into the wooden bedframe. Squeaking as her spine makes a sickening crack against the sturdy wood behind her.

"Kill me." Alina croaked out as something in her seemed to snap, the second she felt the impact.

I'm done. I'm done with all of this. I just wanted to feel, but now… I just want this to be over.

"Cut my tongue out! I don't care!" She admitted. Electricity crackled around her, filling the air with heavy static. Her hair stood on end, until the loose strands around her face began to flow freely. Like, an unfeeling wind was blowing it back, as it whipped wildly.

She shot from the bed, her feet hitting the marble floor with a loud slap. "But, I'm done letting you control me, just because you can't control yourself!" Fists shaking at her side, as vibrations quaked through her. Boundless energy rushed through her, making her body burn from the inside out. "You don't have that right, anymore!"

Aleksander scoffs, not yet noticing the crackling of lightning that curled around her clamped fingers. He kept his eyes fixed on the ground, as the sparks began wrapping around her balled hands. "I can make you do whatever I like, Alina. Hell, you've already begged me to fuck you." The fog grew thicker, as it crawled along the marble, only up to her ankle, laying low to the floor. Yet, growing higher till it was to her knees. "I own you."

"YOU WILL NEVER OWN ME! I HATE YOU! I WILL NEVER LET YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PSYCHO!" She finally screamed, her body over flowing with so much rage and so much pain, that she felt like she was going to burst. Then, without thinking she cleared the fog with a beam of light that sprung from her fingertip like lightning cracking through a cloudy sky. Letting the sun filter back into the room.

They both froze. Standing like two statues for a long moment. Aleksander eyed her emotionless, while Alina glared back hard. Still seething, yet panting as she glanced around. Looking for any fog that may be lingering. But, it was completely cleared. Slowly widening her eyes, the realization that she was able to use her abilities finally seeping in. Shock, but also pride started to brim the hollowness of her chest.

I felt that. I feel…

Powerful?

"How?" Aleksander raised an eyebrow over his sharp eyes, slightly rounded for the first time. His lips subtly parted in surprise.

"I don't know…" She managed, studying her palms that still sparked with mini fireworks, popping from her skin. "I just wanted control… Then, the fog was gone."

Aleksander stumbled back, leaning against the desk. A hand rising to cover his now closed mouth. "Well, your power was awakened, so you have full access now. But, didn't it work while you were in the dark?"

"Oh, so now God is willing to speak to his ant?" Alina scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling much more confident. Now that she had finally gotten her one, measly win against The Darkling. It was small, but to Alina, it meant more than anything. After so long, she started to actually see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"God?" He smirked in his amused way. Black eyes scorching with the same intense curiosity that he had when he first told her that she was 'glowing'.

"That's how you view yourself, isn't it? As a god, amongst men?" She huffed, flipping her hands over. Now staring at the back of them, her once blue veins now running bright yellow, barely fading. Much slower than last time, she noticed her glow.

"Not remotely." He dead panned. "Now, tell me what's different. You wanted to talk, now talk."

Alina shook her hair away from her face, before placing her hand on her popped hip. Giving up, on trying to find answers from her skin. "I told you, I don't know. Maybe I'm not scared of your temper tantrums anymore? You tell me." She scornfully quipped.

I'm never going to look at anyone to make me feel better. I'm all that I need. How did I forget? We can only truly trust ourselves in this world.

The corner of his lip twitched, not with amusement but something else. Perhaps, anger? Pride? She wasn't sure yet, as cool orbs took her in like ice cubes gliding over her skin, wherever they laid.

"Power looks good on you." Aleksander grunted, as he continued to leisurely examine her. As she rolled her eyes at the complement, hating that it only made her pride seep deeper.

"I wish I could say the same about you, but it just makes you seem like a bigger asshole."

"Cute." He retorted in a way that seemed more like an insult than a complement. Rolling up his sleeves, revealing perfectly veiny forearms. Making Alina glare at his toned arms. She hated how that one simple action alone, made a lump form in her throat and a flutter in her stomach.

No one man should be allowed to look so handsome, while just rolling up his sleeves. Especially now that I've vowed never to give into my base urges. I don't care how attractive he is, it's not worth it.

"Perhaps, a freedom from fear. Is a freedom from walls that keeps you from calling into the light." Aleksander scratched his chin in thought, as the light from the window beamed behind him, framing him in god rays.

The light around him… He's been in light all day.. He produced fog, instead of pure darkness... Why is that? He seems more tired, more on edge. What if…

"Of course.." She blinked a few times in relation. Snapping her fingers, leaning against the foot bored of the bed. Aleksander peered up at her again, waiting for her to continue. "It's the sun!" She exhaled eyes wide, slowly shaking her head in disbelief. It seemed so obvious to her now.

Aleksander's shoulders slumped slightly with a bored glint returning to his eyes, looking at her like she was an idiot. "Elaborate, woman."

"This is the first time I've been in the sun, since you awakened by powers. We call on our powers, we don't create light or dark. We simply call it, you said something about that in your journals. So, you survived being burned alive because you were instantly left in darkness, which feeds you. But, now that you've been in the sun for a while, you're more irritated. I, on the other hand, need the sun. I must need the sun to grow more powerful, too!" She said suddenly, surprised that it didn't dawn on her sooner. It was so simple that it never crossed her mind. Most times, the simple answers are the correct ones.

The dark man nodded slowly taking in the information. "That does make sense. We'll have to start your training, but maybe we can take some time every day for you to be in the sun… Like sunbathing." He mewled it over, as he rubbed his chin.

"Training?"

"Yes, we have to get you to a point where you can use it at will. Learn to use it to protect yourself." He grunted, back to his flat neutral.

"Why?" She honestly was confused as to why training was even important. Needing to protect herself seemed fair but then again, who was going to try and hurt her other than the man before her now?

It's not like I'll be fighting anyone soon right?

"Alina, if you truly believe that people won't come after you, if they ever find out about your powers." Aleksander curled a sick grin, scoffing as he ran a hand through is hair. "Then, you're more naive than even I would have expected."

The brown haired girl frowned, glancing down at her dress as she thought over his words. She never had thought about that before. Soon would books be written about her? Would she be labeled a witch, or unnatural just as they have done to Aleksander. Soon would the truth be twisted as history passed, while she remains untouched by time?

Soon will I be just as villainized by the world, just like The Darkling?

"No. I just haven't given it much thought yet. I only now am coming to terms with the fact that I even have powers. I haven't really thought past that." The admission felt raw from her lips, letting him peer into her mind was scary for her at times. She preferred their banter, because it didn't feel as deep.

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Aleksander said more like a command rather than a question. Before grabbing her hand, and tugging her from the room.

She had to walk twice as fast to keep up with his steps, nearly tripping between his long strides. He led her to the front foyer, with the waring demons and angels overhead, and the moon in the center. She stumbled down the stairs as he practically dragged her, to the smooth marble. Positioning her in the center of the moon on the floor. Alina frowned looking down at her bare feet, wiggling her toes over the cold surface.

"What are we doing here?" She wondered aloud, glancing up at the man that was back away to the edge of the room. A mischievous glint in his hollow eyes, that made her nervous, to say the least.

"Practicing." His voice was like cut glass, as he let fog fill the edges of the room. "Cut through the fog again."

Alina watched as the fog became thicker, darker than the fog that surrounded the woods, but just as scenester. Tring to focus on calling the light, but nothing answered, as the fog moved closer. Billowing clouds licking at her feet, as waves contented to flow higher. Flashes of her nightmares started to play behind her golden orbs, as her heart started to beat in her chest. She felt weighted down, like she was an anchored ship. Mel, the fog, the forest, Aleksander.

Everything flooding in, everything she wished, she could just forget. The haunting reel spun, like black and white photographs, that showed her every painful moment. She squeezed her eyes shut, as her hands tugged at her hair in frustration, willing them away. Yet, they kept coming. Seeping between the cracks of her soul, and breathing fear and sorrow into her lungs.

"You don't have to force it. It's already yours. Be confident in your abilities. The power comes, when you call it." Aleksander's disembodied voice echoes through the open concept room.

Alina breathed, telling herself that the light is hers, and only hers. She dropped her hands, and keeping her eyes shut, pretended that she was in that clearing again. Where Aleksander found her. She clung to that feeling of freedom, unrestricted and right to take flight.

It's mine to will.

She felt a jolt of warmth radiated in her palms, as sparks sprinkled from her fingertips. A smile formed on her lips, at the feeling. Pride coursing through her veins like the light that made them glow under her thin skin. "I'm doing it.." She whispered to herself.

"Not enough, you're not freeing yourself from the smoke, try to focus on the feeling of your power. Hold on to it." The Darkling instructed.

She tried, but nothing more was happening. Only managing to create a few more sparks to form around her. Sweat formed on her brow, feeling a groan forming in her throat from strain, as the light weakened. She fought it, but the more annoyed with herself she became, the less the light shined. She let her hands fall to her side, and huffed a breath, before trying again.

After a few minutes the fog fell and Aleksander came into view. A growing sense of defeat knocked the wind from her rips. Yet, Aleksander didn't look disappointed or annoyed in the least. Just observing her struggle, walking closer to her. A scowl arose on her features, as he neared her. He loomed over her and tilted his head from side to side inspecting her. Placing his hands into his pockets, as he leaned closer.

"Clear your mind. Find something to focus on. Something connected to your beckoning emotion." He stated plainly, bending at the waist, so they were face to face. "Remember when we awakened your powers and I told you to focus on that feeling?" He asked, as she gave him a slow nod. Feeling annoyed that she couldn't just call her powers as easily as he does. Like, it was the most natural thing in the world.

I had hoped that my memories of being free would have worked.. I want my independence to be the source of my power. But…

"I could kiss you. Focus on the way it feels, then we'll try once more." Aleksander suggested being completely serious, but his words felt like he was making fun of her.

"No! I can do this on my own!" Alina snapped, angry that he would even consider that. But, he just nodded, leaning back, and letting the fog roll back in.

Focus on the joy you felt leaving that awful place, the way the grass felt beneath your feet. The cool air that blew through your hair. The freedom...

Alina held her hands at her side, willing the power that she felt building in her chest, to move down her arms. She envisioned lava flowing through her veins. But, then she felt rough, holding her back. The sound of Mal calling her name. Horses galloping away, the familiar sting of rocks in her feet. Her dream came to life once more, as the warmth began to slip away. She shut her eyes tight, willing the nightmare away, but it came back with vengeance. She could even feel the gravel under her feet, as she growled in frustration. She could feel the light beginning to slip away.

No. No. No...

Suddenly, the feeling of soft lips invaded her. Before Alina could even process, the feeling of power was surging back through her. She knew it was Aleksander, but she kept her eyes closed. Not wanting to see his face, pretending that it wasn't him. That this man that she both hated, and felt attraction to wasn't the one to bring back her light. He didn't hold her head, or even touch her other than his smooth lips, melding against hers. Aleksander kept his kiss tender, waiting for her to relax. Alina breathed into their lips, before lacing her forefinger between buttons of his shirt. Allowing her body to succumb to the velvety taste of his mouth, and the contrasting coarseness of his stubble.

Warmth rising in her belly, butterflies fluttering behind her rips, the longer he moved against her. Alina signed in pleasure, as she felt his tongue flick across her bottom lip, before he sucked it into his mouth.

His mouth was searing hot, before slowly dragging his tongue in a circle over her lips. Sloppy and wet, before tilting his head to press his wet muscle past her teeth. She opened up wider, her tongue rolling over his. He kissed her sweet and gently. She could tell it pained him to show such restraint, his groan sounding pained and needy.

She tried her best to ignore it, as she tried to focus on just the heat that bloomed between them. Finally pulling back, Aleksander trailed a thin line of saliva between them, before wiping his bottom lip with his thumb. Breaking the connection, with a satisfied smirk. She finally opened her eyes. He looked like the most beautiful man in the world, the light that bloomed from her skin, reflecting off of his. Making his face clear, not a blemish of his bearded face, his lips red and wet from the kiss. She hated herself for waiting for nothing more, than to have him kiss her again.

"Now focus on that. I'm going to surround you with the fog again." He whispered, starting to step back. The smoke filtering back in, till he was completely consumed by it, once more.

She ruminated on the soft caress of his tongue, as he glided it over her lips, immediately sensing electricity crawling down her arms to her hands. She hated that it was him that made her find her strength again, but she loved the way her power felt coursing through her veins. She felt conflicted, yet reassured. Choosing to concentrate on the fact that she wanted to see his face, using that as a motivator, giving the light direction.

Then, like a neon sword she cut through the fog, as the fog burned away like ash on the wind. Aleksander's striking features coming back into view, a cocked eyebrow and half-cocked smile. Alina panted as she whipped a few sweat droplets away from her forehead, not realizing till now how hard she worked for that simple burst of light. But to her, it was well worth it and she craved more.

My powers made me feel something again, something I haven't felt since childhood. Pride. Maybe, I've always been a little numb… Maybe I had to be numb to survive, but now? This power, I'll never have to be-

"Afraid, again." She muttered a loud, as she studied her thin fingers and palms in amazement.

"Afraid?" Aleksander repeated her, confusion only showing in the way of a slight tilt of his head, and narrowing of his black orbs.

Alina snaps her head up to see that Aleksander was standing closer than before, his hands still firmly in his pockets, like he was keeping his hands from her. She had forgotten he was even there, in the wake of her discovery.

"No. Not even a little." She admits a soft smile tugging on her lips. Straightening her back she connected their eyes.

"Again." With an amused, and admiring smile Aleksander clapped his hands as fog rolled back in. "Let's see what you got."

? ゚ブ?

"I'M DONE!" Alina yelled through her pants, collapsing dramatically onto the marble, melting like a puddle into the cool floor. She was covered in sweat and her bones ached. Aleksander glared, squatting beside her, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Okay, we'll call it a day." He brushed some of her hair from her face, smirking down at her. "We'll have to work on your endurance. It's only been 6 hours."

"Slave driver!" She whined rolling to her back and sprawled out, her arms and legs outstretched as far as she could make them. The cold floor, feeling amazing against her overheated skin. She felt her belly rubble loudly, as she held her tummy, groaning again. "I'm starving!"

She was surprised at just how hungry she was.. They have been at this for hours, and she's only managed to do a little better each time. But at least, she could see the improvement. It was coming more and more easily, now. She was even able to ease the fog as soon as it came. Of course, it wasn't pure darkness. But she didn't mind, because she was using her power.

It felt so good.. Maybe a good workout is what I really needed to feel better.. Because, I feel relieved now. Thinking about Mal still hurts, but not as bad. Don't get me wrong, I'm still being held against my will, and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. But, at least I feel like I have direction. I have meaning... I want to get stronger. Now that I've had a taste, I'm craving more...

The Darkling stood and reached out a hand to her. "Okay, get up and I'll make us something."

Alina took his hand as he helped her up. She looked him over, and frowned. His hair was still perfectly slicked back, and his face was still smooth and untouched by sweat. Even his clothing didn't have a single wrinkle. Not remotely affected after training for hours. In fact, he seemed even less stressed than usual, almost calm.

God, I hate this man..

"It's not fair that I'm dying, and you're not even breaking a sweat." She grumbled, as she steadied herself with her hands on her knees. A glare firmly on her face, as if that would bring a bead of sweat to his skin.

"I've had more practice than you. In a hundred years, I'm sure you'll catch up." Aleksander shrugged. She rolled her eyes as she caught her breath, before straightening up. Her loose dress hanging off of one shoulder, stretched out and drenched in sweat.

"Get changed, and I'll bring you some food." He turned on his heels to walk away.

"Wait.." She called out, without thought, as he shot a glance over his shoulder, his handsome face peering over to her with his one eyebrow raised.

"Can I sit in the kitchen as you cook?" She asked, not sure if he'd let her or not. For some reason she wanted to see how he cooked. She couldn't imagine him in an apron, nor cutting veggies. Even though a part of her wanted not to care, yet another part begged to see him doing domestic things. It was odd.

I feel so much better, but I also just don't want to be alone in that room. It felt like a prison still.

He paused and gave her a puzzled look. "I thought you hated me."

"I do. But, I used to watch the cook at the orphanage prepare dinner sometimes. I find it interesting, because I've never cooked before." She whispered, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. "I guess, I'm missing home a little." She whispered trying to convince herself, not just him.

Aleksander's eyes took her in for a long moment, before sighing. "Very well, but don't cause any issues. If I find out, you've taken a knife. I'll send you back into the dark." He chastised like he was threatening to send a child to time out.

She didn't like the implication but she nodded in agreement nonetheless. "Okay."

She followed him, as he stalked to the right, and back behind the stairs. He opened a normal sized wooden door that revealed a full kitchen, with a huge wood burning brick stove, and long chopping table in front of it. A small window letting the afternoon sun fall over the almost rustic room. It was clearly made for servants, but that made her feel more comfortable in a way. It wasn't as fancy as the rest of the house. Ivy was hanging from the wooden cabinets, and tons of cooking ingredients littered the countertops, with tools poking out of every nook and cranny. It felt almost homey, and over filled. Her eyes scanned over the herbs that hung in bouquets from a fishing line that spanned the room, from parsley, dill, chamomile to cloves.

That explains why he always smells like cloves… I figured he smoked when I wasn't around. She thought, as Aleksander bumped past her. Still clearly unsure about letting her in the kitchen. This place must be someplace he enjoys, it looks more used than the bedroom.

He opened an black iron case that was filled with ice. Cuts of meat, shoved into every inch of the space with tubs of random things placed between them. He ran his sights over the different salted red meats and sausages. "Sit." He barked, without taking his eyes from the case.

Alina rolled her eyes, finding a stool at the large wooden chopping block. She searched around the room hoping to spot an apron, but sadly there was none. Breathing in the scents that surrounded her, as she slipped her eyes closed. It was delightful, and familiar. Like the kitchen back home at Keramzin, only the smell was richer and more well-rounded.

She shifted on the wooden stool, as Aleksander tossed a thick cut of marbled red meat on the top of the chopping block. Plucking a few leaves from the herbs above him, most likely being rosemary and thyme. Then, pulled out a pill grinder from under the block, and placed the herbs in, with salt and a few other seasonings she didn't recognize. He ignored her as he grinded them, down to a smooth powder.

Alina's eyes ran over his arms and hands as he rolled the stone mallet over the herbs, crushing them. His arms flexing and veins on his hands popping out under his careful strength. Then, he turned around to wash his hands, and she studied his back. He was so large, yet so elegant in this moment, she felt insured by the sight unfolding before her. He was so focused on his craft that he didn't even notice her gaze.

"What kind of herb is that one?" She asked leaning over the table to sniff the contents of the stone grinder. It smelled so savory, yet sweet.

"Chives, they blossom purple flowers, but you can use the steam for cooking. It gives your food an almost onion flavor." He mumbled turning around and pointing to a bundle of purple flowers hanging over the rack of copper pots and iron pans. She nodded slowly, looking at the beautiful violet pedals that skimmed over the cast-iron pans.

"I see. Do you grow all of this?" Alina asked, waving to the pants overhead, truly wondering where all of this came from. She knew he must have been rich, but some of this was things she had never seen before. She doubted it was from here.

"Some, but most of it are bought from town. The ones I can't find here, I grow in my greenhouse." He answered calmly, drying his hands, then rubbing the mixture over the thick cut of meat, kneading the herbs into the flesh.

Of course he had a greenhouse. Rich prick. She wanted to roll her eyes again, but refrained. She didn't want him to have a reason to send her away, or tell her to shut up again.

She just silently watched him pour olive oil over the red meat, add more of the seasoning as he kept rubbing it over the meat. "Did you get along with the cook at your orphanage?" Aleksander's voice coasted over the room, almost like a warm wave. The tone surprised her, perhaps the kitchen was as calming to him, as it was for her.

He's curious about me?

She crossed her arms on the sacred wood under her, running her finger along an indent below her fingers. "Yes, the old cook. I liked to stay and sit with him during winter, because it was warm and smelled nice. I'd draw while he talked about his wife, and kids." She trailed off, the memory stinging more than she'd like to admit.

"Do you like drawing?"

She shrugged, not looking up. Worried that his eyes would be trained on her, and she didn't want to show more of herself than she had too. She didn't need to give him more ammunition to use later.

"What happened to the cook?" He asked, when he didn't answer.

"He got fired because he was making the girls cookies, when he wasn't allowed too. He was a sweet man. He always said we reminded him of his daughters." She whispered, lingering guilt over the situation, beating in her chest. He was one of the few people that treated her kindly, after Mal left. She would tell the cook about Mal. Looking back the man was a hopeless romantic like her, so he feed into her misguided affections. Telling her that if he loved her, he would wait for her.

We see how that turned out..

"I see.." He hummed empathetically, lighting the stove with a match. Before, grabbing a pan and throwing butter into it. Then, placed it on the stove and added the meat. She let her eyes follow him, as he gathered carrots, potatoes and celery. "What did you draw most of the time?"

"I like drawing people, or animals. I used to draw the chef sometimes when he cooked."

"So that was your sketchbook that was in your bag, then." He mumbled starting to peel the potatoes. Her eyes snapping to his face, but it remained flat as she gawked at him. Causally, going about skinning the veggies.

"You kept my bag?!" She looked at him shocked. "And you looked through it!"

"Yes." He answered plainly. "You're not half bad. I can bring you your sketchbook, if you like."

This man is something else, I should hit him. But, I do want my sketchbook back, I miss drawing. If I get made, he won't give it back. She tried her best to calm her breathing.

"I want it." She quickly added. Not giving him time to take the small olive branch back.

"Wait, here." He mumbled wrapping her chain around the leg of the table. Shaping it to cling to the heavy wood, before disappearing from the room. He returned not too long after with her sketchbook, along with some drawing pencils that weren't hers.

He must have bought me some…

He set it down in front of her on the wood, the leather bound notebook bringing her more joy than she thought possible. She ran her fingers over the rough leather, worn and frayed from being but back together so many times over the years. It was a birthday gift from Mal, from animal skin and recycled paper. She figured that it would hurt to hold it in her hands again, but it didn't. It felt like safety.

"Thank you.." She whispered, hugging it to her chest, honestly just glad that she was able to have it back.

"Don't me." He grumbled going back to cutting up the veggies. "Give the pencils a try." He spoke like a demand, never looking back up at her.

Gliding her hands over the 6 or so pencils, she smiled. They were wrapped in twine, with little numbers carved into their sides, with either an 'H' or 'B' on them.

"What does the writing on them mean?" She asked, rubbing her thumb over the groves.

"The 'H' Means lighter, and 'B' means darker. The numbers are the levels of dark or light." He explained cutting the carrot into slices, then tossing them into the now sizzling pot. "They are artist pencils, but the most common lead is 'HB,' which is right in the middle."

She nodded, a soft smile growing on her face as she opened her sketchbook to a clean page and started with the pencil that said '2H', for her outline. She roughly created the shapes of the man before her, his strong shoulders and bored face, as he cut the potatoes into cubes.

"Do you enjoy cooking, or is it just a necessary skill?" Alina asked as she studied his face, bringing her feet to the stool so she could hide her sketch. She never liked people watching her draw when she wasn't sure if she was going to like the outcome or not.

"I enjoy it." Large hands paused for a moment, before dipping his chin lower. "Over the years, I've tried so many things, and found myself trying more and more new things. I had issues finding them closer to home, so I taught myself how to make them. Like, dishes from across the world. I guess cooking to me is like drawing to you." He whispered, looking up at her from under his dark lashes. Blinking a few times, like he did when he felt nervous. It was subtle, but Alina was starting to pick up on his few calls.

"What's your favorite dish?"

"Homemade Curry and rice. I don't make it as often, because it's hard to come by curry powder." He admits, going back to chopping up the celery.

I already know why he's so harsh and cold, but there's so much about him I don't know. I hate him, but I also have no idea who he really is… I want to know more about him.

"Aleksander?" Aline managed, as she cleared her throat, drawing a '+' down the center of a circle for the base of his face, wanting to draw the Darkling. Wanting it to be accurate for once, unlike the history books. "What was it like for you growing up?"

"Don't you already know? You read my journals." He shrugged a slight twinge of irritation in his voice, but his face stayed natural, stirring in some heavy cream to a pot next to his pan on the stove, throwing in a few more herbs in, as well as some grated cheese.

"But, I want to hear it from you. I want to know what your thoughts are on it, now that you've grown." She justified not looking up from her sketch, except quick glances only for references. Switching to a '2b' pencil adding in his hair, and eyes.

"Lonely." He said simply, an edge of sadness in his voice. "I traveled a lot with my mother, always changing our names. She would drill me on my new name as we rode. Over and over again, until I responded to it naturally." He recounted, grabbing some pepper and sprinkling it into the cream pot, then grabbing something that looked like bone broth and poured that in too. "She loved me, I think. But she was harsh, teaching me how to fight and keep myself safe. Sometimes though, she'd tell me stories about magical creatures."

She waited to see if he'd say more, but he didn't. Lost in memories, as he mindlessly stirred the pot with a wooden spoon. His eyes clouded with something that was new showing in the black orbs.

"What about your father?"

"Never knew him. My mother wanted a child, so she had one. I don't even know his name. She refused to tell me. She wasn't fond of making connections. Well, except for me… She knew that I wouldn't age. Just like her. I think that's why she wanted a child so badly. Loneliness is the down side of eternity." He spoke like was in a trance. She was pleasantly surprised he wasn't avoiding her questions. Maybe he didn't mind speaking of his mother…

"Where is she now?" Alina asked, inserting the expression he made onto her page, wanting to capture it. To understand it.

"I don't know. She used to show up at random times, and tell me about what she's been up to. But that hasn't happened in 50 years. The night I found you, I thought I heard my mother. When she's around there is a soft ringing noise that echoes through the air, like bells. Only me and her can hear it, but it was you I found instead." He shrugged seemingly unfazed but Alina felt like he was hiding his emotions behind his blank face.

"Do you miss her?"

"Sometimes." He whispered, before tearing a piece of meat from the cut with a knife, and dipping it in the pot. He then blew on it, cooling it down, before holding it out to her. "Open."

She obeyed, as he shoved the bite into her mouth. A blush barely tenting her cheeks, feeling his thumb against her tongue. She wrapped her lips around his fingers, already tasting the savory taste of creamy cheese. Pulling away from his fingers, she chewed trying not to let her flush grow, focusing on the tender roast and cheesy sauce that covered it.

"Good?" He asked, with amusement playing behind his cold eyes.

"Really good." She chirped honestly, feeling like all the tension in her shoulders melting away as she swallowed. He smirked, sucking the rest from his thumb, before instantly creased his brows. Clearly he wasn't satisfied with it, though.

"I think it needs more cheese." Aleksander grumbled, looking slightly off put. He quickly turned around, before grabbing a block of white cheese and a grader, adding a small pile to the top.

This is… comfortable. Maybe, I've been fighting him too much. If I just let things happen and go with the flow, will I get to see more of this side of him? I feel better after training too, so maybe he doesn't have the worst idea's.. It gave me some of the pain that I need, without causing injury. Sure I'm a little sore but, It wasn't destructive.

Maybe, I never gave this man a fair chance… With that thought, she looked at her drawing, then back at the man. Feeling her chest squeeze slightly.

Have I been too hard on him? Sure he's got a tempter and a sharp tongue, but what's he like if I just don't try and test him? Was he like this all of the time?

"You really do treat cooking, like your art." Alina smiled, a little soft chuckle fell before she could stop herself, wanting to be distracted from her mind.

"Why do you say that?" He asked with mild curiosity, looking over his shoulder at her.

"Because it tasted wonderful to me. Yet to you, it wasn't good enough. We are the hardest on ourselves when it comes to our craft." She admits feeling suddenly understanding.

His shoulders relaxed as he placed the cheese down, throwing a towel over his shoulder. She admired him in that moment, that simple action brought butterflies to a swarm in her belly.

"I guess, so.." He half-smiled, in a relaxed way, making those butterflies swirl almost violently now.

Wow, he looked amazing when he smiled like that. What would he look like if he gave her a genuine smile, without a hint of malice. Was he even capable of it?

She wanted to find out…

"What is the dish called?" She blurted, forcing her thoughts away.

"It's something my mother would cook after training. It's Beef Stroganoff. Well, my version, at least. So, it's a little different. It's my own take on it. Once I add the noodles, it will look a little more like Stroganoff." Aleksander states cutting up some mushrooms and throwing that into the skillet with the meat.

"Haven't heard of it. I really like it."

"I'm glad."

Aleksander continued his cooking, as Alina stole sneaking glances at his face as she improved on her rough sketch, incorporating details from the sharp lines of his chin, and the soft lines at the corner of his eyes. She wasn't sure how long they would stay like that before, she was broken from her concert by the sound of a plate clattering in front of her. She set her sketchbook face down on her lap and looked down at the slightly sunken plate.

Creamy white sauce was poured over small cubed meat, potatoes, carrots and celery. Little bowtie pasta littered throughout the dish, looking soft and buttery. Her mouth watered, as she finally set her eyes on the source of the wonderful scent she had been breathing in this whole time. A slice of garlic bread was wedged into the mixer at the side, that seemed to be toasted with butter and flakes of something green.

"I showed you mine, now show me yours." Aleksander commanded, wiping his hands down with a towel that rested on his shoulder.

"No.. It's not done, and doesn't look very good..." She whispered, holding the book to her chest protectively.

"Okay, then no dinner." He shrugged boredly, starting to pull the dish away slowly.

"NO!" She quickly said grabbing the dish, yanking it closer to her again. "I'll show you!"

Aleksander chuckled, holding out his hand for her sketchbook, and waited patiently. His eyes burned with satisfaction. She wanted to smack the look from his face, but she guessed that it was somewhat fair. He did say that his meals were like his art.

Right when I thought I was actually starting to enjoy his company. She thought with a sigh, placing her sketchbook in the large palm that was outstretched towards her.

He wrapped his fingers around it, and nodded to her dish. "Eat." He commanded placing a wooden spoon beside her. She happily obeyed, taking a huge bite. It was so good she moaned, not even ashamed of her clear enjoyment. Yet, she kept her eyes trained on Aleksander.

He leaned against the large industrial sink, and flipped the book open. She couldn't read his expression as he looked it over. He remained silent, but slowly nodded as if it was speaking to him. The drawing was a close up of his face, looking down at his busy hands, with the dish towel over his right shoulder. His lashes casting shadows on to his cheeks, and eyes lost in the memories he spoke of.

"Well?" Alina pressed out with a full mouth, still chewing.

"The drawing is very good. It's just…" He trailed off, never looking away from the paper.

"Just what?" She worried that he hated it. She was hoping that he'd never have to see it. But, now that he was looking at it. She felt really nervous.

"Nothing, It just feels like you captured something I wasn't expecting." He mumbled with a faraway look in his eyes. Mirroring the drawing below him, before closing the book and placing it on the table. Making himself a plate and sitting across from her, taking a bite as well, before swallowing and speaking again. "Like you saw right through me.."

"Well, I'm not done yet.. If you don't like it, I can toss it."

"I want to keep it." He said suddenly, making Alina stare at him with rounded eyes. She swallowed her bite hard, almost choking on it. "You do?" She blurted, tucking her hair behind her ears, wondering if she heard him right.

"Can I have it? Once you're done, of course." Aleksander's words felt out of character-ly shy, and unsure. She gaped at him, but said nothing.

After a moment, he finally glanced up. Instantly glaring at her open mouth, before shoving a filled spoon in her mouth. "It's not ladylike to hold your mouth open like that." He grunted, as Alina pulled the spoon from her mouth and chewed the bite quickly, placing the utensil back in his plate.

Swallowing she mumbled, "I'm sorry, I was just surprised you liked it that much. I figured you'd hate it." She said not wanting him to think she was making fun of him. "You can totally have it. It only seems right, since you're the person I drew."

"Why would you think that?" He asked, gripping the spoon and continuing eating, his glare fading away as soon as it came.

"Well honestly," Alina awkwardly pushed the food around, revealing the white plate under it. "I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with me drawing you…" She whispered.

"I don't mind." He answered awkwardly back. "I kind of enjoy the fact that you wanted to draw me." He added slowly, looking down at his plate too.

The atmosphere felt strange to Alina. This may have been the first time since she got here, where they actually were speaking without it feeling forced or nerve racking. It was pleasant, she let a small smile slip on her lips as they continued to eat their home cooked meal.

"This really is good." Alina mumbled with another mouthful, breaking through the awkward silence. It was her last bite and she was wishing that it wasn't.

"Thank you." He finally relented, blinking rapidly as he elegantly ate and took another bite. "Do you want dessert?"

"You have dessert?" Alina asked pleasantly, surprised looking at him wide eyed, as Aleksander gave her that rare half-smile again, with a chuckle playing on his lips.

"Don't get too excited, it's just some sweet cream that I froze."

"Yes, please!" She said with a wide smile. She knew that she shouldn't get too comfortable with this dangerous man, but something about him in this moment felt so safe. He did tell her when she first got here, that she would be safe if she obeyed him.

Aleksander gathered their plates and stood, before fishing out a tub of sweet cream from the iron case that also held the meat. He grabbed a bowl from the cabin and scoped two oversized spoon fills into the bowl. He placed it in front of her, as she quickly took a huge bite, some of it getting on her cheeks. But she didn't care, it was so good, tasting like vanilla heaven on her tongue.

Aleksander laughed at her childishness. "Slow down, or you'll give yourself a brain freeze."

"You don't want any?" She asked why he had only gotten her a bowl.

"I've never been a big fan of sweet things." He shrugged, starting to clean up the kitchen, glancing back at her as she took another bite. "Wipe your cheek." He smirked, pointing to his cheek.

She whipped at her mouth. "Gone?"

With an easy smile he shook his head at her goofiness, before walking over and tilting her chin up, licking the corner of her mouth. She pushed wildly, just looking at him, with the cream still in her mouth keeping her from responding.

"Gone." He smirked.

She swallowed, ignoring the brain freeze that she enviably got. "I thought you said you didn't like sweet things!" She snapped pointing her spoon at him accusatory.

"Well, I guess I was wrong." He gave her a cheeky smile, licking his lips. "Because it didn't taste half bad. Can I have a bite?" He teasingly grabbed at her spoon but she smacked it playfully.

"No, get your own."

"That is mine, I'm the one that gave it to you." He countered through a calm laugh, trying to grab at it again, putting no real effort in for it. "Just one more bite."

Alina giggled and relented, getting a small spoon full of it and holding it out for him to take, but instead he held her hand, and wrapped his sinful lips around it. Twirling it around in his mouth, before slowly licking the downward spoon clean. She kept her eyes glued on his mouth, feeling heat burn her whole face, as he released the spoon with pop.

What the hell… This man is going to be the end of me. That should not have been as sexy as it was.. I should hate him. So, why is my chest feeling tight.. It's different from the butterflies..

I still hate him, he's only attractive. That's why I feel like this.

Right?

"Mmmm.." He hummed, before leaving her staring dumbly at the spoon, going back to cleaning up the kitchen again. "Hurry up, or it's going to melt." He chuckled after he hadn't heard him making a noise.

"Yeah.." She mumbled, suddenly feeling strange using the same spoon that he just put his mouth on, even though he put a spoon in her mouth earlier. This time felt different.

It's still warm.. She thought feeling embarrassment rose up from deep within her. I guess I should be happy that I feel less numb.. But I'm not sure what to do with these new feelings.