17
Jasper parked in front of the small, rundown two bedroom house that needed new paint, new floors, and a new roof; the small two bedroom house Bella and Renee had lived in for the last two years. Though when she didn't make any effort to get out of the car, he didn't, either. All she could think about was the way her mother had held her, loved her one last time. And it still wasn't enough time. She needed more, desperately needed more.
"The others are going to come over in the morning. They . . . they figured we . . . you might need some space."
She nodded, her arms wrapping around her knees. "I need her."
"I know, Cricket."
Bella lobbed her head to the side. "Why do you love me, Jay?"
"How could I not love you? You're my Cricket."
She shook her head as she looked away. It was the same way he had always answered her when she asked why he loved her. You're my Cricket, just mine. Nobody else gets to love you the way I do. And nobody else ever had, she thought. She was his, always had been, and always would be. She hoped, she desperately hoped.
"She wants me to send her to Bayview, Jay. She told me she isn't my burden anymore, that she isn't my responsibility."
"She loves you."
She nodded, dropping her feet off the edge of the seat. "I miss her already. She was my mom again. For that short amount of time, she was my mom again, and now she's gone. She's gone, and I miss her so, so much."
"So do I." Jasper pushed open his door, walked around the front of the car, and opened Bella's door. "I'm tired, you're tired. Let's go get some sleep, sweetheart."
Bella bit the inside of her lip before she placed her hand in his and allowed him to help her out of the car. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her as he closed the car door and led her through the iron gate, along the overgrown yard, and onto the front porch. Tears filled her eyes as she dug her keys out and unlocked the front door.
As the two walked into the house, she felt them both tense. There on the floor was a puddle of dried blood. Two of the dining chairs had been knocked over, and there was a broken lamp lying against the wall. And on top of the broken lamp, was a broken picture frame that held the last family picture she, Renee, and Charlie had taken together. The glass was cracked directly between her and her parents.
"Come on, Cricket."
Bella looked at Jasper, who was standing next to the stairs.
"We can clean up tomorrow. Let's get some sleep."
She nodded, and locked the front door before she and Jasper walked upstairs and into her bedroom. They didn't speak as they undressed, staying in their underwear before they slipped into her bed. As Jasper wrapped his arm around her m, Bella laid her head on his chest and once again, cried for her mother.
—WL—
When Bella woke, she found herself alone. The sun was just starting to peek through the windows, so she slipped out of bed and picked up Jasper's T-shirt from the day before and crept out of her bedroom. The smell of freshly brewed coffee assaulted her senses, and when she walked downstairs, she saw that someone — Jasper — had already cleaned the dried blood off the floor, cleared out the broken lamp, and taken the cracked glass out of the picture frame, hanging it back onto the wall.
Bella found him seated at the small, metal kitchen table she had brought at a garage sale for only five dollars. It was grotesque and had a mint green table top, but it had been cheap and they needed it. Most of the furniture she had grown up with had either been sold to pay for her mother's care, or broken in one of her fits of rage.
Jasper had a silver laptop open and a pair of dark rimmed glasses on. He usually wore contacts, saying he wanted to look different than Ben, even though they weren't identical. Seeing as she had his T-shirt on, he was seated in just the black cotton shorts he had been wearing the day before. Bella cleared her throat, causing him to shift his eyes from the screen to her, her favorite smile spreading over his lips.
"Hey, you sleep okay?"
"I don't think I moved once I actually fell asleep."
"Hope you don't mind me making some coffee." Jasper stood up and grabbed the pot, holding it toward her. "Want a cup?"
She nodded before she walked over to the table and slid into the chair he had just been sitting on. She glanced at the laptop, her eyebrow raising when she saw him filling out an application for University of Washington Medical School.
"So, you've decided to go back."
"If they'll accept me," he replied. "I emailed Dr. Volturi and asked if I should even reapply. He said as long as I keep my shit together, I should, but he can't promise that I'll get my spot back. Figured I can't tell you to chase your dreams, if I'm too scared to face mine."
And again, Bella nodded and accepted the black porcelain cup he offered. Renee had stolen them from a small, trashy diner in Seattle after they moved from Forks. She hadn't even realized she'd snuck the mugs into her bag until they got home and Bella found the. She should have taken them back, instead on paying for them, but she hadn't. She liked the, the way they fit in her hands, so she kept them and they never went back to the diner again.
"You'll be a good doctor," Bella said, quietly before taking a sip of coffee.
"So will you."
"Me?"
He gave her a wary look before he sat in the chair next to her, shifting his body toward her. "I, um, might have already submitted your application."
"You what?" She snapped, pushing away from the table and ignoring his hand when he reached for her. "What the fuck, Jay? You think just because she won't be my problem anymore I can just do whatever the fuck I want?"
"Yes."
Bella laughed. "God, you think it's really that easy, don't you? Jay, I can't afford medical school. I won't even be able to afford rent once I get her into Bayview. I barely make any money."
Jasper tilted his head to the side. "You can if you move in with me."
Bella's eyes flew open. "Jay."
"Don't 'Jay' me, Cricket. I told you I'm not letting you go again."
"I don't want to let you go, either." Bella sat back down, placing her coffee cup on the table before she reached out and wrapped her hands around his. "I love you, Jay. I love you so much, I do, but . . . But you're married."
Jasper frowned. "Hopefully I won't be in a twelve days."
"I hope so, too, but . . . We aren't the same people we were three years ago. We can't just . . . we can't just pretend like nothing's changed."
"It hasn't. Not for me."
"But it has, Jay. It has. I . . . I don't know what I am going to do now. I . . . I just don't know," she whimpered. "I don't want to lose you, but I . . . I can't just pretend like she doesn't exist anymore."
"I'm not saying you can, or should, Cricket, but that doesn't mean that you can't move on with me, too."
"But you're married."
"Stop saying that!" He stood up and walked to the door leaning into the dining room, stopping and placing his hands on the side of the entry space. "I don't want her. I never wanted her. I just want you."
Bella stood and walked over to him, placing her hands on his hips, sliding them around his waist, and up his torso, leaning her head against the middle of his back.
"I just got you back, Cricket. Please don't leave me again. Please . . . I can't . . . I won't survive again. I won't survive without you."
"Jay," she whispered, pressing her lips against his back. She both felt and heard him moan, and he dropped his hands to cover hers just before he released them and turned so that he was facing her.
"I love you, Cricket. Move back to Baker Lake with me."
"You're living in the lake house?"
Jasper nodded. "Dad and I don't really get along, so I manage the business remotely."
"Because of me."
"No, because I was an idiot and lost my mind, because I married that crazy-ass bitch, because I never forgave myself for not fighting harder for you."
"Jay."
Jasper slid his arms around her, tangled one of his hands into her hair, and tilted her head backward. "Move back to Baker Lake with me. We can pack your stuff and leave right now."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"I still have to get her settled."
"Heidi said she would handle it, that she will let you know when you need to come sign whatever papers you need to."
"Heidi said, huh? You and Heidi had a good talk about me, huh?"
"We were both worried about you."
"What did she say to you?"
Jasper smiled. "She said you were stubborn and hardheaded, which I already knew," he laughed giving her a look. "And she said you were the strongest woman she had ever worked for, but if I didn't save you from yourself, you were going to drown in your grief, and that I was an idiot from ever walking away from you, and she's not wrong."
"Sounds like her."
"Look, I'm not saying we lock her away and never look back. I'm not, Cricket. I just want to wake up with you in my arms, and feel your body against mine as I make love to you. I just want you. Just you, Cricket."
Bella sighed, shaking her head. "You're making it really hard on me."
"I'm really hard for you."
She laughed, then moaned when he slid his hands down, grabbing her ass. He lifted her off the ground, causing her to wrap her arms and legs around him. He walked over and sat down with her on his lap, her legs draping on either side of his. Their mouths met in a fiery, heated kiss, their hands pawing at whatever part of each other they could, stripping off their clothes until their naked bodies were pressed against each other's. Bella leaned her forehead against his as she leaned up onto the tips of her toes, and slowly — slower than she'd ever moved before — she sunk onto him, feeling him fill her completely.
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Cricket."
His breath was warm against her skin, and she tangled her fingers in his hair, tilting his head backward so she could look him in the eyes before she leaned up and sank back down. Jasper moaned, his hands clenching her ass.
"Don't leave me, Cricket. Don't leave me again. Please, please, please, don't leave me again."
"Jay," Bella breathed, her rocking her hips back and forth, up and down. "I . . . I love you so much."
"Then stay with me. Just me, Cricket. Please!"
Bella moaned, pressing her forehead against his, their lips just millimeters apart. The way he filled her, the way their bodies moved in perfect sync felt perfect and right, and she never wanted to let him go, never wanted to go another day not feeling. She tangled her fingers in his hair, tighter as she felt herself approaching her climax, needing to feel him cum with her.
Bella pressed her lips against his, her tongue battling against his as she tightened around him, causing him to groan. Jasper stood, laying her back against the table, his hands gripping her hips as he slammed his against hers over and over and over again.
His eyes dropped to where their bodies met, his jaw tightened. "You're so fucking hot, sweetheart. And sexy. You make me want to live inside your pussy."
"I'm okay with that."
Jasper threw his head back and laughed, his hips flushed with hers. "That means you have to move to Baker Lake with me?"
"Jay." She whimpered, leaning up on her elbows, her hair falling over her shoulder as her eyes shifted to their hips met. "You promise not to get mad when it gets hard?"
"I promise. Do you promise to let me love you for the rest of our lives?"
Bella smiled. "I promise, as long as you keep fucking me like this."
Jasper smirked and pulled his hips back before slamming them against hers once more.
"Fuck," Bella groaned, falling back against the table.
"Does that feel good?"
"Yeah, really, really, really good."
Jasper started moving in and out of her again, pushing himself into her, taking her body with hunger and passion. Just loving her, always loving her. He'd always known exactly what she needed, when she needed it, how she needed it. Especially when she was scared, when the fear of failure plagued her, he'd known exactly what she needed.
"Jay, I . . ." Bella's back arched off the table as her second orgasm rocked through her, and a moment later, she felt him shudder as he allowed himself to climax with her.
He stayed sheathed inside her, though. Instead of pulling out of her, he leaned down, pressing his forehead against the middle of her chest. "I missed you like this."
"What naked and horny?"
Jasper laughed, leaning up and placing his hands on either side of her head. "Yes, but that's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"With them, you hold back. You're reserved, careful. Especially when we play games and drink. You take responsibility for them, for us. It's your nature, but when it's just you and me, you're vulnerable and honest and fragile yet strong and beautiful. So fucking beautiful."
"I missed you, too."
"Move to Baker Lake with me, Cricket."
Bella opened her mouth to reply, but the sound of the front door opening had them scrambling off the table, grabbing their discarded clothes.
"I tried calling her, but she didn't answer. She's probably asleep," she heard Heidi say followed by Alice's laughter.
Bella had managed to get his T-shirt on, but her panties were still in her hands when Heidi, Alice and Ben walked into the kitchen, but it wasn't them who had Bella's eyes widening. No, it was the man standing behind them. The man with the same brown hair and hazel-blue eyes as Ben and Jasper. No, it was Peter Whitlock who had Bella's eyes widening and her heart racing.
