Thank you for reading. I hope that you liked the last chapter and will enjoy this new one. Again I know that the last few chapters have been very different from the rest of the story and I really hope that it hasn't put anyone off the story. This chapter will mostly be back to having more action as we get closer to the end. I really hope that the ending will be worth the time that you have been putting into reading the story.
Important please read
I try not to get to caught up with how many views or reviews I get. This was part of the reason why I stopped writing years ago. But I had a look while I was working on this chapter and I was shocked to see that on Fanfic no one had viewed or visited this story for five chapters. I only expected there to be a couple of view or visits but none was very surprising. So I know I'm talking into the void here, but if there is a reason for this like the chapters aren't being uploaded or something like that then please let me know so I can try and fix it. I am posting on A03 as well and I can't tell how many people view each chapter so anyone reading on there if its not a issue with the platform the story is updated on and a problem with the story itself then please let me know so I can try and fix that. While I do want to finally finish the story and as It's a old property that end over ten years ago, I know only a handful of people are reading, I still don't want to spend hours a week working on something that no one is reading. So again please if you could let me know of any problems that would be great. Thank you.
The morning sun was bright as it rose into the sky to mark the start of a new day. It poured into the tent atop the floating platform though a small crack in the opening. The light formed a bright rectangle that slowly made its way across the pile of blankets and pillows. When the light reached the first sleeping figure it came to cross his face and Merlin slowly began to wake up. It took him a few seconds to open his eyes fully. It took another few seconds for his mind to catch up with him, for him to remember where he was and what had happened the day before. When he did begin to play it over in his head he couldn't believe that at the same time the day before he was waking up on the floor of his childhood home. Now he was waking up on a floating tent draped in blankets, propped up on pillows his wife sleeping next to him.
His wife that was the part that took him the longest to get his head around. He was married, married to Morgana. Who was sleeping next to him. Rolling onto his back he stretched a little, carful not to wake his sleeping wife. She appeared to be sleeping so peacefully, he didn't want to disturb that. Sleep could be unsettling for the witch, bring with it pain. A stupid part of him hoped that maybe sleeping next to him in someway kept the worst of the dreams away. He had also slept more soundly than he had in a long time. He didn't think he would ever get used to this. He hoped he wouldn't. Being complacent. That he would never take it for granted. How lucky he was that after everything that had passed between them they had somehow managed to end up here. That something good had come from all the pain.
He had thought the same thought a number of times and each time he had meant it, but was always proven wrong. So he knew that he was setting himself up to be proved wrong yet again, but looking over at Morgana he was sure that she had never looked more beautiful. She slept on her front a blanket over her, but some of her back was uncovered. Her head was pressed into a red pillow, turned to face him. Her hair that still had a few small blur flowers woven into it covered part of her face. Reaching out slowly he tucked the strand of hair behind her ear.
"I know your mother told you that's its very rude to stare." Her voice was low still half asleep.
Merlin smiled as he rolled over to kiss her.
"Is it morning already." She asked as she began to open her eyes.
"Afraid so." He answered.
"So it wasn't a dream." She asked.
Merlin couldn't help himself. "If it was then I don't want to wake up."
He could just see Morgana roll her eyes, with a look of affection, as she moved to sit up, pulling her legs into her chest. It was clear she wanted to talk. There was still a lot for them to talk about. Where they planed to live for one, though it was very clear where that would be. They had just not said it out loud. If it was up to him they would put all of this talk for later, but he knew that they needed to talk about it. That it would only nag at the back of their minds until they did. With a light groan Merlin pulled himself to sit up too.
"Do you wish it was all just a dream." He asked. Half joking, half truly concerned.
Morgana turned to look at him a look of panic in her eyes. His face began to fall, until Morgana couldn't keep a straight face any longer and began to laugh.
"Maybe I wish it was all a dream-"
"No you don't." She interrupted him with a smile.
"Maybe not." He agreed and he leaned into kiss her.
He let his forehead rest against hers as he allowed himself to enjoy the moment become they had to return to reality and all the expectations that came with it.
"You are happy..."
He left his question hanging. He couldn't look her in the eye either. He wanted, needed to know, but was scared to know at the same time. She didn't answer with words, she just gave a simple nod that he could feel on his forehead.
"I thought it would feel stranger, take more time." She finally said.
"Me too."
Morgana took in a deep breath as she prepared to be completely honest with her husband. "I think I've always kept a part of myself back."
"Morgana."
She shook her head and carried on. "I think I always will." He was about to interrupt again so she carried on not giving him a chance. "I was trying to protect myself. If I kept a part of me back, then no one would get close to me. I wouldn't have to worry about losing anyone else. But I don't want to do that anymore." She lifted her head now so she could met his eyes. "Your right, I can be more myself with you. You got closer to me than anyone else, without me realising." She paused as she placed her right hand on the side of his face. "I love you."
It was the first time that she had said those three words to him. To anyone else that wasn't family. Merlin had resigned himself to the possibility that Morgana might never say those words to him. He was to shocked and overcome with excitement that he couldn't get the words out to say them back, to return the sentiment. All he could do was smile broadly and kiss her again. Slowly they both leaned back into the pile of blankets. The real world could wait a little longer.
The funeral for the late king took place the day after the current king and queen returned to the city. The same day that Merlin and Morgana were married in the forest near Ealdor. Grey clouds hung over the city but it did not rain. The people of Camelot filled past the old king as he lay in state. Paying their last respects before his funeral the next day. The funeral service was a small, intimate event. The royal family minus Morgana and those who were a part of court or knights were the only ones to attend. Uther's body was then taken to the tombs below the caste where he was put to rest next to his wife, the love of his life.
Gwen watched her husband closely for any sign that he was not coping, but he bore his pain well. She knew this was, in part because he wanted to support her in her own grief. He tried to act like he was not grieving at all. Which just made it harder for them to truly support each other and what they both needed right now was each other.
The night after the funeral the queen woke up to find that she was alone in their large bed. The other side of the bed when she reached out was empty. This was not the first time this had happened. There had been numerous times she had woken up alone to find Arthur sitting at his desk working by candle light. Sitting up she looked across to the adjoining room where the desk Arthur worked at was the window behind it, but she didn't see her husband sitting there. It was a cold night and she was not very keen on leaving the warmth of her bed, but she felt that Arthur needed her. That they both needed the warmth and comfort that only they could give each other and that they had been unable to completely give each other until now.
Slipping into a pair of shoes and wrapping a blanket around her shoulders Gwen made her way from her and Arthur's chambers to where she believed Arthur would have gone. The castle was empty and dark but she knew the building better than most and knew the path she was taking by heart. It did not take her long to reach the throne room, pushing the room open she saw the shafts of evening light that hit the floor and light her path towards the two thrones that sat at the other end of the long room. Her eyes landed first on the king's throne and it was empty. Her heart shank a little. She did not want to have to walk all the way down to the tombs in the middle of the night. Before she was resigned to this she glanced at her own throne and saw her husband. Her throne before it was hers had been Arthurs. The one he sat in next to his father.
"You need to sleep." She said firmly as she walked across the hall.
"I can't seem to get my mind to be quiet long enough from me to sleep." He said in a tired voice.
When Gwen reached him she sat on his lap, wrapping the blanket around him as well. "You need to try, we both do." She added before he did.
They stayed like that for a while until it became very uncomfortable. Standing slowly still draped in the blanket they made their way back to their room, their bed. Where they fell asleep almost as soon as they lay down in each others arm and had the best sleep they had had in a long time.
Mordred had been planning on reluctantly attending the kings funeral, but Arthur who he had been trying to avoid sought him out to tell him that he didn't need to be present. He understood why he would not want to pay respects to the man that had cast such a large shadow over his life. Arthur told him to take Kara out into the city, to try and enjoy themselves. This kind gesture only made the young knight feel more guilty.
Regardless he did as the king advised. Kara did as she said she would and showed him her childhood home. They only paused outside it for a few seconds then left. From the brief glimpses they had of movement inside it was clear that a new family now lived in the house. It was hard to see, but Kara was happy that the house that had been such a happy place had returned to being one again for another family.
It seemed that not much had changed in the city in the years she had been gone. It was, apart from small changes, different people behind the shop fronts and stalls, but still the same kind of goods, the same friendly faces. She didn't stop to talk to anyone, but she recognised many faces and she could tell that they recognised her as well. Mordred noticed this and choice not to bring it up. He was just grateful that she was here at all he wasn't going to do anything to make her feel more uncomfortable about being ack here.
They kept busy, distracting themselves, but neither of them had slept well the night before. Mordred was able to push the guilt he felt about his part in the old king's death and keeping the information from Arthur, to the back of his mind during the day when he was around other people. In the quiet moments, at night he could keep it back any longer. So he slept poorly. Kara also didn't sleep well for a very different reason. She felt no guilt about what happened, except for making Mordred withhold information from the king he swore loyalty to. No she couldn't sleep because Morgana's chambers were so unlike anywhere else she had laid her head to sleep. While physically the room was very similar to her most resent quarters in Avalon the atmosphere was different. It felt oppressive, like you were always being watched. As someone who was basically a stranger living in the very heart of Camelot she could understand, but it did not make it any easier.
Neither of them slept much better the next few night. This was still what they expected, but they were beginning to worry. It had seemed to be such an important thing to choose to start a life together here, they had been so happy. They hadn't thought much about the actual practicalities of it. If either of them could stand to live here knowing what they did, what they had done.
A few days later having nothing to do they thought that getting out of the city for a few hours seemed like a good idea. Just as they were leaving the city on horseback they saw another pair on horseback riding towards them. They slowed down a little to pass them comfortably. As they did they realised that they recognised the travelers. They speed up now to met them quicker.
When the two couples met they smiled as they greeted each other. Morgana maneuvered her horse so that she could hug Mordred and Kara. While asking them how things had been in the city, how Arthur and Gwen were doing.
Neither she or Merlin said anything about what they had happened while they had been away. They wanted to, but both felt and had agreed that Arthur and Gwen should be the first to know. After Gwen was told of Merlin's magic of course. So they said nothing and made a effort not to look at each other or speak to each other to much. By doing this they were acting stranger and drawing more attention. The couples parted ways with assurances that Morgana would speak to them properly tonight when they returned from their trip.
Once they were a good few feet apart from each other heading in opposite directions Kara realised that she hadn't asked Morgana about where she was going to sleep tonight. She was sure the queen would want her old room back, so where would that leave her. Slightly irritated with herself for not having brought the subject up she made herself put it from her mind. It would all be sorted when she returned to the castle. Right now she needed to forget about everything in the city and focus on the right now.
Merlin and Morgana made their way around the walls of the castle grounds towards the stables. Finding them empty apart from the horses themselves they pressed their horses inside. Merlin jumped down first and before she could even begin to dismount herself, he was by her side. His arms raise out towards her. They both knew that she did not need his help. She had been jumping out of the saddle since she was old enough to ride with no fear. She gave him a exasperated, but affectionate look as she let him take hold of her waist and help her down. Her hands rested on his shoulders and once she was standing they began to slip forward to join behind his neck. Merlin's hands did the same. slipping around her waist, pulling her closer. As his eyes flashed a quick glance behind Morgana he caught sight of a figure standing just outside of the stable. Quickly he jumped back from Morgana as he watched the figure get closer. Morgana confused, fallowed his gaze behind her.
"I didn't think you would be back so soon."
Gwen said as she approached them a found smile on her face. She gave Merlin an odd, knowing look as he explained that they felt that they needed to return sooner than later. She said she was glad and Arthur would be too. They asked after Arthur and herself, how they were coping. She told them honestly that she had worried about Arthur, but since a few nights ago when she found him in the throne room he seemed to be not better, but manging better. As she herself was and that was really the best they could do right now. Morgana looked at her sadly as she spoke. Gwen not liking that look quickly pulled the other queen into a hug and then lead them back into the castle, where they would all have some tea together with Arthur
As they walked from the stables into the castle making pleasant chatter, Morgana felt her hand on numerus occasions wanting to reach out and take Merlin's. She could tell that he was growing nervous as they continued to walk forward. Getting closer to when he was going to have to be truly honest with Gwen and Arthur about things he never thought he would have to be. Taking hold of her dress to lift it slightly to climb the stairs kept her hands from giving them away to soon. There was a part of her that was brimming with excitement about Gwen that she and Merlin were married. She would be so happy for them.
It was hard to tell which was making Merlin more nervous. He knew for almost and absolute certainty that Gwen would understand about his magic, why he had kept it to himself for so long. She had come to accept Morgana's magic and she had used it to harm her. Merlin had used his mainly to protect her and Arthur and their future. Yes while Gwen would understand she would be hurt that he had not trusted her. That would he thought would be worse to face than Arthurs anger. He was equally sure that Gwen would also be hurt that he had never been honest with her about his feelings for Morgana. Arthur's anger was not something he would underestimate. There was every chance that given some time the king would come to trust his friend again. He was now going to add more fuel to that fire. He had not been honest with Arthur about his feelings for his sister. He had given him enough opportunities and he had not taken them. Now he had gone even further and married his sister. Without a father, he should have asked Arthur as her closest male family member for permission to court, let alone marry Morgana. Not she herself carried about that. He dared a glance over to her walking next to him. His hand too felt pulled to reach out and take hers. He clenched his hands tightly to stop them from acting on their own. She met his eyes for a second and he felt sure that he would face Arthur's anger and Gwen's hurt a hundred times over if it meant he could just hold her hand freely and maybe see the smile she gave just for him.
When they all entered the kings chambers he was sitting behind his desk. He stood up quickly as they entered. "We didn't expect you back so soon." He echoed his wife's words.
"We, I felt we shouldn't stay away for long." Morgana said as she crossed the room to met her brother and embrace him.
She then asked how the funeral service had gone. He told her it went without any issues. He could see that she felt guilty about not being there, so he placed a hand on her shoulder and told her it was alright. It wasn't not fully, not let at least, but it would be. It was all just to raw now. The pain to fresh.
The siblings then turned to their spouses. Both looking at Merlin giving him the chance to speak first before Arthur told Gwen himself. Morgana looked at him sympathetically, but she wouldn't say anything. He had to do it himself, Gwen deserved that much from him. They had also talked on the journey here and decided that telling Gwen of his magic should come first. Then they would tell them the rest.
"Gwen." He said in a low voice as she turned to face him. "I need to tell something." She nodded, looking a little confused. "I should have told you a long time ago, but I was scared. Not of what you'd say or think, but of just saying it to anyone."
"What are you talking about." She said. She had been sure that he and Morgana had news to tell them and she had a good idea what, but this didn't make sense.
"I have magic, I always have."
He lifted his hand to perform some magic, he didn't know exactly what sort to show her, but she moved faster. She pushed his arm down and hugged him.
"It all makes sense now." She said quietly to her friend as she hugged him feeling him shaking as he returned the hug. There were so very, very many questions that she wanted to ask him, but for right now she felt she just had to reassure him that her feelings for him hadn't changed because of it. He was still her dearest friend who she loved and trusted deeply.
Arthur quickly told her how he had found out. That he was sorry for keeping it from her. He just didn't want to tell her when she was in so much pain. As she ended the hug and turned from Merlin to her husband Giving him a smile to say that she understood and appreciated him thinking what was best for him. Morgana explained to them both more or less how she had come to know herself. That she had kept it to herself because it was not her secret to tell.
"And you liked having something over me." Merlin couldn't help but add.
Morgana turned to her husband looking completely shocked. "You did kill me." She said but there was no venom to it.
An awkward laughter began but ended quickly. There was something else that the royal couple needed to now.
"There something else, something good." Merlin began "I think you both already now that I care for Morgana." They gave a knowing nod. "That I love her." That they hadn't been expecting. For him to say it so plainly. "When we were in Ealdor I told her how I feel."
He paused as Arthur and Gwen looked to Morgana to see her reaction to this.
"I was completely shocked, but I shouldn't have been." She said doing her best to explain.
"I asked her to marry me." Merlin finished.
The heads of the king and queen snapped back to Morgana. "You said yes." They said at almost the same time, not needing to ask what her answer had been.
Morgana nod as a small smile crossed her face. Merlin moved to stand next to her, finally able to take her hand in his. As they watched the faces of the other couple to see what they were thinking.
I promise that the first part of the story with Merlin and Morgana is the most mature that the story will get. I don't really know much at tagging and ratings so please let me know if you think I should change the rating or tags. I also hope that this part helped to explain Morgana's feelings a little better than the last few chapters.
I can't believe that there are only ten chapters left till the end of the story. There will very likely be a bonus chapter after that but I've not made up my mind yet. I feel like I'm having to rush through things that should be given more time. Arthur and Gwen finding out about Merlin's magic for example. While those story points were never really the focus of the story I know that some people are interested in that so I'm sorry about that and I hope it doesn't ruin the story.
As always any feedback, comments or ideas are very welcome.
