USELESS

The gilded double doors to the front of the club burst open as Sophie stumbled through them. Her hands reached out to brace herself against the edges of the doors, her eyes scanning across the street. On the other side of the road, two men in wide brimmed fedoras sat in a car with their eyes trained on the club. Sophie's eyes narrowed and she grit her teeth, attempting to contain the rage burning at her skin. These men had seen her enter the club and the Italians that had followed, yet they had done nothing. Perhaps Arthur wouldn't be being thrown into jail right now if they had taken action. Taking a deep inhale, Sophie stormed across the road and towards their car. Slamming her hands on the front of the car, she sneered at the two men.

"What are you fucking looking at?" She shouted at them. They stared back at her with shock colouring their features.

"Miss-" One of them began, leaning forward in his seat.

"What are your names?" Demanded Sophie, pointing her finger angrily at the man in the driving seat.

"David."

"Joseph, ma'am."

"Did you know about Sabini?" She hissed, making a mental note of their names. If Alfie wasn't behind this, then he would definitely want to know the names of his incompetent men who did nothing to protect her. There was a spark of hope inside her chest that Alfie had no idea, that he would never do this to her or her family.

"Mrs Solomons, we -"

"I'm a fucking Shelby! And you will fucking answer me!" Sophie screeched, slamming her hands on the hood of the car once again.

"No, Mrs Sol- uh no, Miss we didn't-" The man she now knew as Joseph stammered out. He continued to ramble, professing his innocence but Sophie had begun to tune him out of her mind. The skin on her neck was stinging violently and her throat was throbbing in pain from its previous constriction. She reached tenderly to her neck, hissing as her fingers made contact with the tiny cuts littering across it. The men's babbling rattled around her sore head, merging into a pounding drum beat that had the hairs on her arms raising and her teeth gritted painfully together.

"Just-" Sophie interrupted the men. "Leave me the fuck alone." Taking slow unsteady steps away from the car, she made her way back home.

She hadn't been expecting John's reaction on the phone. Sure they weren't as close as they used to be, but they'd been slowly growing apart since they came back from the war. The blame couldn't be placed solely on her. When she'd told them about her and Alfie being engaged they were so happy for her - but was that all fake? Did they resent her for leaving for London just like Ada? The whole family had been upset when Ada had left, but there was no anger or resentment. Her life had changed so much in the past few months, it left a sour taste in her mouth. Alfie's introduction into her life had been a blessing. Her mind and heart had been widened, finding a love that she hadn't experienced before in her life. His calloused but soft hands held her heart so gently and yet simultaneously so fiercely. She would have never expected someone so gruff and broad to be so delicate and kind at his centre. This love has also posed complications to her life, despite its warm glow. She wanted to make him happy, be a proper wife (as much as her ingrained independence made her yearn to rebel) and that meant moving to London and away from her family. It had been a severe change to her lifestyle, having not ridden a horse since the move, and that had only made the lack of Shelbys in her life even more apparent and sorely felt. She often had guilt gnawing at her bones whenever she missed her childhood. Everything was just so much more straightforward and simple. There was no business, no London, no war. Sophie would often find herself living in the days where she and her siblings lived on the boat in the canal, jumping off to get food and ride horses. The bright blue skies and gentle sway of the water would lull her to sleep while her brothers played games in the local streets.

Sophie found herself now standing in the kitchen of her and Alfie's home, Cyril sitting at her feet panting up at her in curiosity. Tears had been running down her face, her cheeks completely wet. The top of her blouse had even become soaked from the tears that had streamed down her jaw and along her neck. A shaky breath escaped her lips and she raised her hands to wipe harshly at her eyes and cheeks. The force she used hurt her eyes, anger and frustration seeping through her veins. She felt so pathetic, Arthur was in jail and yet she was the one crying. Her brother was arrested right in front of her and she did nothing about it, just watched helplessly. She was so sick of feeling so useless and helpless. Someone that things happened to, not someone that did things.

Her eyes locked onto a large glass bottle resting on top of the kitchen countertop. It was tall and dark with a brown label stuck across the middle. Reaching forward she pulled it to her, yanking the cork out of the top. The harsh sting of whiskey shot up her nostrils as she sniffed at the bottles contents. She wanted to stop feeling this way, stop thinking about her stupidity. Taking a big swig of whiskey, she grimaced as it burned down her throat. She was going to drown her sorrows the only way Shelby's knew how.

It was dark outside by the time Ollie had informed Alfie of the recent events at the Eden club. He had not known about Sophie's presence at the club during Sabini's repossession and so was in no hurry to give the news to his boss about Arthurs arrest. Once he had mentioned the events to Alfie very casually while going over some inventory reports, Alfie had furiously clapped him round the back of the head and stormed out the office in a litany of curses tumbling from his mouth.

The house was quiet and dark, frighteningly so. Alfie stood in the hallway of their home, listening for any movement. There was nothing except the faint sounds of the street outside to be heard. Taking slow steps through the house, the sound of his cane hitting the floor echoed throughout the house, rattling Alfie's brain awkwardly.

"Sophie?" He called out nervously. His heart rate began to soar, worrying that Sophie wasn't home. All of the possibilities of where she could be and what kind of danger she could be in flooded his head.

"In here." A frail quiet voice called out from the kitchen in the back of the house. Relief overwhelmed Alfie as he released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding and rushed to the kitchen. The sight he was greeted with however, had his heart in a tight clenching grip. The room was dark, the moonlight streaming through the large windows illuminating Sophie's small curled up figure on the large armchair positioned in the corner of the room. The door to the garden was open but Cyril sat curled up in her lap, resting his head on her stomach, his sad eyes flicking up to her and then over to Alfie. Her head lolled back against the chair, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. Her usual bright blue eyes were glazed over, never really focussing on anything in particular. Her pale neck was an angry red with tiny thin cuts littering the clear outline of where a rope had been.

"Soph?" Alfie whispered. He needed her to acknowledge him, he wanted to see her eyes and make sure she was okay. He needed to know she was okay.

"What, Alf?" Sophie matched his volume, not moving from her position.

"Soph, look at me, love." He said softly. Like a frightened abandoned dog, he was sure to keep distance between them so as not to overwhelm and startle her. Huffing angrily, Sophie lifted her head. Her nostrils flared in annoyance as her eyes lazily glared at Alfie. They made brief eye contact before her head, clearly too heavy for Sophie to hold up on her own, swung back to rest on the back of the chair.

"What happened?" He cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

"Why don't you ask David and Joseph? Useless fucking cunts." She slurred, closing her eyes. "Although I'm willing to bet you already know what happened."

"Are you hurt, Soph?" Alfie asked, surveying her body.

"Only my fucking mind." She muttered under her breath. She was scarily calm, too calm he thought. The large quantities of alcohol she'd consumed filled her limbs with lead, too heavy for her to even attempt to move. Intolerable silence began to permeate the room. He was itching to scoop her up and bring her to bed, comfort her until she felt better. He had also made a mental note to deal with David and Joseph the next day.

"I'll deal with the Italians alright? Your brother will be out of jail soon." Alfie said calmly, leaning back against the wall behind him.

"All just fucking expendable aren't we." She thought aloud.

"Soph-"

"I'm so sick of this, you know? Feeling so weak and useless." She cut him off. Her eyes slowly opened, remaining unfocussed. It was like she wasn't really there in that kitchen, lost in her own world. Tears began to pool in her eyes, eyelashes slick with water as her pupils gazed across the room. "My life is just always at the mercy of someone else. I can't do anything for myself, I leave the house I have to have men watching me to make sure I don't get fucking murdered. Can't ride horses, can't see my family, can't go wherever I want, can't fucking do anything. I can't even fucking sleep without crying like a fucking idiot." She hissed, laughing bitterly at herself.

"Are you regretting moving here?" Alfie spoke solemnly, keeping his face neutral. Reacting angrily to her apparent hatred of being in London would only serve to make the situation worse. She was clearly in a fragile and drunken state, spouting nonsense.

Sophie scoffed, turning her head drunkenly to look at her fiance. "No, Alfie."

Silence once again filled the room, the two staring at each other. Alfie's anger quickly dissolved, his stoic grey eyes softening as they connected with her watery blue irises. She looked so small and childlike, her drunkenness making her seem even more innocent and young. He could see the tracks of her previous tears on her soft rosy cheeks. Her eyes were blotchy and red, with similar patches of blotchiness across her nose and tops of her cheeks.

"I'm fucking drowning, Alf." She sobbed. "Everything's changing and I can't keep up, I have no control over my life."

Alfie took slow even steps towards her, keeping his eyes on her face. Crouching down to her level, he stroked his hand over the back of her head until it was resting against her cheek.

"Soph, I'm here, alright? Anything you need or want, we can make it happen. Not some fucking useless young girl needing saving, you. Quite frankly you scare me sometimes, yeah love? Swear like a sailor and you're hard as nails. Not to mention, you're a gypo witch or some shit, that's pretty hardcore." His compassionate smile began to thaw through her icy walls cemented with alcohol. Swallowing her smile, Sophie rolled her eyes playfully at him.

"Now I can't let you go anywhere without protection, Soph, I'm not fucking losing you to some jumped up prick trying to get revenge against me or your stupid brother. But the rest we can sort, okay? Nothing I won't make happen for you. We can sort it out in the morning okay but I need to clean you up and get you to bed."

Sophie pouted drunkenly at him, letting her head drop so her forehead was resting against his. "But Cyril…he's all comfy on my legs, I can't move him now."

"Christ your breath could take down a fucking elephant, Soph how much did you drink?" His eyebrows raised as he let out a light chuckle at her. Sophie hiccuped harshly, her whole body shook with the movement. A toothy grin broke out across her face, a childish giggle breaking through the tension in the room. The pair laughed innocently together, everything completely forgotten and let go in that moment.