Here's a Few Things You May Need to Know, or, Maybe, You Just Forgot:
Orwell tried to figure out what was going on. She remembered that the CEO of ARK Corporation (a.k.a. the psychopath that called himself Chess, a.k.a. her father, Peter Fleming) was about to purchase all of the land along Palm City's coastline. Her father having control of the city's ports would be a Very Bad Thing, but there was one way to stop it… The last thing Jamie remembered, she was following a lead, talking with Conrad Chandler, the long-lost heir of the Chandler family…
"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"…
"Somebody must've drugged me," Jamie concluded. "Hey, if you're the Good Witch of the North, shouldn't you be telling me to take those slippers?" …
"I'm Vince," the scarecrow (needlessly) introduced himself.
"Orwell," was her automatic response. Jamie frowned, as she grasped his outstretched hand. What was she doing? There was no reason she couldn't be honest with Vince in a drug-induced hallucination. "That is, you can call me Jamie."…
"Gregor doesn't scare me. I'm not afraid of anything!" Vince bit his lip, before bending closer to her to make (another) confession. "Except for explosives," he whispered…
"If the young lady doesn't see eye to eye with dear old dad, wants to go her own way and have nothing more to do with you, who am I to interfere? No doubt she's better off without you in her life," the Devil pronounced.
"You're wrong about that," Peter insisted. "Look, I don't know whether you have any children, but a father knows when his child is in danger. Wherever Jamie is, she needs my help. I can feel it!"…
"Maze, Peter Fleming. Fleming, Maze," Lucifer introduced them…
"You look pretty good for a dead guy, Mr. Holloway," Marty began. "Specialized in child psychology; graduated top of your class; you were the administrator of The Orchard Sanitarium for twenty years. Makes me wonder what went wrong"… "You told me," Marty continued, "that Conrad Chandler is the Lich. Where can I find him?" …
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF KOZ SHALL GRANT YOUR REQUESTS. BUT FIRST YOU MUST PASS A SMALL TEST. BRING ME THE VODKA BOTTLE OF THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST."
"Wouldn't we have to kill him to get it?" Vince asked.
"It will be my pleasure," Peter grinned…
"Ah, Dominic, you found Daddy's Girl! Thank you for bringing her," Molotov greeted Scales…
"Oh. Dad really did give humans a sixth sense about these things, then," Lucifer grimaced. "Alright, no need to panic, Chess. We'll locate her," Lucifer promised. "Come on, think. We know now that she's Orwell. What would Orwell have been investigating when she went missing?"
"The docks," Peter said slowly. "I'm in the process of purchasing Palm City's coastline, so that I can control the ports. Orwell would have been looking for a way to stop me… She was looking for the Chandler heir." …
Shit, shit, shit! Marty swore silently. Someone had to explain to Peter Fleming that their Public Enemy No. 1 had gotten past their security and then gotten away…
"Conrad," Jamie began.
"Don't call me that!" the Chandler heir snarled. "Call me 'the Lich.' That's what I am, so that's what you should call me! Netta, take her out of my sight. Give her 20 CCs of the paralytic and then bury her," the Lich directed just before the crystal ball went dark.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Wizard of Oz, The Cape, Lucifer, nor any songs referenced in this fic.
Chapter Six: From Now On – Home, Again
Peter's phone rang. A glance at the screen showed him that his Chief of Police, Marty Voyt, was calling him. He was tempted to reject the call. Whatever Voyt wanted couldn't possibly be as important as finding his kidnapped daughter. Still… Fleming swiped to accept the call.
"This had better be important," he growled.
"Mr. Fleming, I wanted you to hear it from me first. There was a break-in at the ARK Detention Facility. "
"Let me get this straight, you're calling to tell me someone broke in to the jail? Not that someone broke out? Voyt, I don't need you wasting my time now-"
"It was the Cape," Marty spoke quickly. Better to have Fleming hear the truth from him now than let him discover it later on. "The Cape broke in, apparently he was interrogating one of the detainees—Preston Holloway—and then he," Marty paused, winced, took a deep breath and continued, "he escaped."
"You LET HIM ESCA—"
"But we'll find him, sir! I interrogated Holloway myself. The Cape is hunting for someone named Conrad Chandler…"
Peter locked eyes with Morningstar. His daughter had been searching for the Chandler heir when she went missing. This couldn't be a coincidence.
"…Sir, are you still there?"
"I'm here." Peter put the call on speakerphone, so that Lucifer Morningstar and Maze Smith could listen in. "Say that last part again."
"The Cape is looking for a man named Conrad Chandler, who is wanted for kidnapping. So if we find Chandler, we should also find—"
Jamie.
"—the Cape," Marty finished.
"Back up. Did you say you have someone in custody who knows where to find Chandler?" Peter demanded.
"Preston Holloway, sir. He's conspiring with Chandler."
"I want you to tell me everything. And I want you to find Chandler tonight."
"Tonight? Mr. Fleming—"
"In fact, I want him found within the hour. Is that clear, Voyt?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Now tell me what you already know."
~ Orwell's Mind~
"Jamie! Are you in there?"
Orwell looked at the locked door. It sounded like her rescuers had arrived—in her hallucination, at least. Would anyone show up in time to rescue her from the Lich in real life?
"Jamie!"
"I'm in here!" she called back, her mind still racing. The last thing she had heard was the Lich ordering someone to give her a paralytic and bury her. She had to wake up before it was too late.
"Stand back!"
Peter and Vince broke down the door to the room where Kozmo was holding her prisoner. They burst into the room, Rollo right behind them, and Frodo bringing up the rear, and made a beeline straight for the blogger. Her dad and her friends pulled her into a group hug and held her tight.
"Jamie, are you alright?"
"We were so worried! We thought we'd never see you again!"
"You came," she smiled, tears welling up in her eyes as she pulled away.
"Of course we did. You're family now."
"We have to get out of here," Jamie swiped at an errant tear. "I need to—" wake up, "—get home. And—" the Lich is trying to kill me, "Kozmo will kill all of us if he catches us."
"Not if we kill him first," Peter snarled.
~Real World~
"GOD DAMN IT, can't this thing go any faster?!" Fleming yelled as Morningstar's sports car raced towards Orchard Sanitarium. Maze had used Marty Voyt's information to figure out that Chandler must be holding Fleming's daughter at the asylum where Holloway had been the administrator.
"Please don't bring my father into this," Lucifer replied, as he pressed his foot still harder against the gas pedal. "I assure you, I'm going as fast as I can."
"Well, it's not fast enough! If anything happens to my daughter—"
"What? There will be Hell to pay?" Lucifer quipped. "Believe me: you don't know the half of it. We'll get there as soon as possible. Anyway, don't you own the entire Palm City police force? Haven't you sent any men on ahead?"
"I can't just trust someone else to rescue my daughter. I have to be there. Do you have any children?"
"…No."
"When you're a father, you'll understand."
~Orwell's Mind:
"Leaving so soon?" Molotov called out, catching sight of the four humans (and one canine) prowling his castle.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Peter drawled, as he strode towards his enemy, ready to exact his revenge.
"Good. Now, tell me something, Scarecrow, and Daddy's Girl—how do you feel about explosives?" Molotov tossed something in the air.
Shit, is that a grenade?!
"GET DOWN!"
Orwell blinked…
~Orchard Sanitarium:
… Suddenly, she wasn't in Kozmo's castle anymore.
"You just had to try to steal him for yourself, didn't you?"
Orwell recognized that voice. That was Chandler's nurse, Netta. She was there before the whole drug-induced hallucination had started.
Netta didn't appreciate some little slut coming in and almost marrying her Conrad. Who the hell did this Julia think she was?
As Orwell's eyes focused, she saw Netta lift up a gag and bring it towards Orwell's mouth.
"Bite down, honey," Netta instructed the blogger.
Orwell was still out of it, but she resisted Netta's attempt to gag her.
The nurse wasn't too bothered by her prisoner's non-cooperation. The gag was unnecessary, really. The little bitch was already stoned; she wasn't likely to scream much as she was injected.
Netta lifted up the syringe full of the paralytic, but was stopped by Orwell's hand suddenly seizing her arm.
"You want him?" Jamie Fleming asked. "You can have him!" Her hand over the nurse's, she drove the paralytic into Netta's neck, incapacitating her attacker.
But the exertion was too much for her, and Orwell slumped to the floor afterwards…
~Orwell's Mind:
…When she came to, Frodo was licking her face. She blinked her eyes open, seeing Vince hovering over her anxiously. Behind him stood her father covered in—
"Is that blood?!" she exclaimed, as she pushed herself to her feet.
"Whoa, take it easy, it's not his," Vince assured her.
"But the bomb, what happened?"
"Turns out it was a dud," her father replied. "You missed a bit of excitement. It's all over. The Witch is dead."
"You killed him," she stated. So it was Kozmo's blood all over him.
"That is what we came here to do, if you'll recall," Peter reminded her. Was it her imagination or did he sound less confident than he usually did?
"I hate to agree with Heartless on anything, but we knew what the Wizard sent us here to do," Vince pointed out.
That was true in the movie, too, Orwell reflected. Except in the movie killing the Wicked Witch didn't involve any blood… This felt different, even if Kozmo would have killed them all without batting an eye.
"Where's Rollo?" she asked.
"Guys, I found it! I found the Witch's Vodka bottle!" Rollo called out. "We can take it back to the Wizard and claim our rewards!"
"But you already have your reward. You took your revenge," Jamie addressed her father. "Does that mean this is goodbye?"
"Not quite yet. I better accompany you to the Wizard. Make sure you get there safely. You seem to have a knack for getting into trouble, young lady."
"Let's maybe find you some water first so you can clean up."
The trip back to the Emerald City was (thankfully) uneventful. Before too long they were back before the Wizard, presenting him with the Wicked Witch's vodka bottle and reporting Kozmo's demise.
"Now, we held up our end of the deal. What about the courage that you promised Rollo?" Vince asked.
"And you promised Vince a brain," Rollo reminded Max.
"Anyone can have a brain," Max sighed. "Back where I come from, there are men tasked with policing lower income neighborhoods and solving crimes. Believe me, they have no more brains than you have, Vincent. But they have one thing you haven't got—a badge. So," Max pulled a bag from somewhere, and produced a badge from it that he extended to Vince, "by the authority vested in me as Wizard, I now pronounce you Detective Faraday."
"A warrant must 'identify the specific offense for which the police have established probable cause, describe the place to be searched, and specify the items to be seized by their relation to designated crimes,'"* Vince recited after accepting the badge. He grinned. "I've got a brain! Thank you! You don't know what this means to me."
* United States v. Galpin, 720 F.3d 436, 445-46 (2d Cir. 2013).
"Now what about my courage?" Rollo demanded.
"Rollo, back where I come from, we have men and women that we call heroes. At least on the 4th of July and Veteran's Day, the politicians will remember to thank these men and women for their bravery in serving our country. I'll let you in on a secret: they have no more courage than you have. But, they have one thing you haven't got—an army." Max conjured a uniform from somewhere and held it out to Rollo. "Therefore, Rollo, in light of your bravery in facing the Wicked Witch of the West and protecting this land, I am appointing you the commander of KOZ'S armed forces. Welcome to the Legion of Courage."
"Commander? Max, I, I don't know what to say… Thank you, I won't let you down."
"As for you, my Heartless friend—"
"I already have my reward," Fleming interrupted Max. "I wanted revenge, and I took it."
"Living well is the best revenge," Max insisted. "And to do that, you're going to need this."
Orwell got a glimpse of a red glowing object before Max somehow shoved it into her father's chest.
"What did you do?!" she shrieked, afraid that Max was killing him, before she realized that her father was unharmed.
"What the hell did you do that for?!" Fleming demanded. "I told you that I didn't want my heart back. It hurts too much!"
"This should help with that," Max handed a file folder over to Fleming. "Your daughter is still alive."
"Are you certain?" Peter demanded, his throat catching.
"Positive. That," Max nodded to the file, "should help you find her again. And you'll need your heart when you do."
"I can't, I can't thank you enough." Peter wiped a hand over his face to catch any tears before they could fall.
"Reunite with your daughter. That will be thanks enough."
"What about Jamie?" Vince asked.
"Yes, what about Jamie?" Peter asked.
"Jamie next!" Rollo chimed in.
"You wouldn't happen to have any anti-hallucinogens in that bag for me?" Orwell asked.
"Jamie. Your reward is the trickiest. But I'm from Palm City, too. The only way to get you back to Palm City is for me to take you there myself."
"How soon can we leave?"
~KOZ:
"Are you sure we can't convince you to stay?" Rollo asked, after Max had finished introducing the citizens of Emerald City to their new military commander and their new chief of police.
"We're going to miss you," Peter admitted. What he hadn't missed was having a heart. It made goodbyes hurt like Hell.
"I love you. All of you," Orwell confessed, embracing each of them in turn. "But I can't stay here. My home is in Palm City." She looked at Peter. "My father is in Palm City. The truth is, I've been away from home a lot longer than I've been here. It's time for me to go home again. There really is no place like home. Take care of Frodo for me, will you?"
"You're not taking him with you?" Vince asked.
"He can't go where I'm going," Jamie said ruefully, wishing she could take her old dog back with her to reality. "Give him a good home for me."
"Jamie, it's time," Max called.
"I'm coming! Goodbye, Frodo!"
"Look—it's the Good Witch of the North!" Rollo pointed out as Raia appeared.
"Hello, Raia. Here to make sure I've learned my lesson?" Orwell asked.
"What? No, I'm here to say goodbye to Max. Oh, and to you too, dear," Raia said. "MAX!" Raia called. "What's this I hear about you passing out jobs to Rollo and Vince? Aren't you forgetting somebody?"
"Ah, my apologies. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, if I could have your attention for a little longer," Max addressed the citizens of Emerald City once more. "Until such time, if any, that I return, I leave the Good Witch of the North in charge. Obey her as you would me." He waited until Raia got closer to the hot air balloon before lowering his voice and addressing her. "Better?"
"Better," she nodded. "But I will miss you, Max. You take care of yourself."
Once everyone had said their goodbyes, Orwell climbed into the hot air balloon with Max, and the Wizard set the balloon into motion.
"We have a long flight ahead of us," Max told the blogger once they had ascended far above the ground. "You may as well try to catch some shut eye on the way. I'll wake you when we get there. Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's nothing, I just thought Raia was going to have me click my heels or snap my fingers or, I don't know, twirl the cape and zap me back home."
"That's not really Raia's style. But if you take a nap, I promise that I'll have you home before you know it."
~Orchard Sanitarium:
Vince Faraday, dressed as the vigilante, the Cape, faced off against his opponent: Conrad Chandler, a/k/a the Lich.
"I should warn you," the Lich addressed his masked opponent, "one of the side-effects of my condition is that I can't feel pain." He demonstrated this by casually picking up a knife and slicing his hand open, unknowingly imitating Orwell's act in her dream.
"Is that so?" A new voice said. Lucifer Morningstar strode into the room. "Was that meant as a challenge? It sounded like one to me. But I should warn you that I'm invulnerable—well, except when the Detective is around, but she isn't."
"Who the hell are you?" the Lich asked.
"Lucifer Morningstar. I'm a police consultant. Let's just say I'm here to make a citizen's arrest."
"ARK PD. Don't move, motherfucker!" Marty Voyt shouted, training his service weapon on the Lich's head.
"Marty?" the Cape asked. "What are you doing here? Who is this guy? And what is going on?"
"Chandler is under arrest and you need to get out of here, man. Peter Fleming is here."
"What?"
"JAMIE!" Fleming's voice shouted in the distance. "JAMIE, WHERE ARE YOU? JAMIE!"
"JAMIE!"
Orwell started awake, finding herself in the same room Netta had taken her to, with Netta unconscious nearby.
"JAMIE!"
"Dad? DAD, I'M IN HERE!" Orwell shouted back. "IN HERE!" The door burst open.
"Jamie! Are you alright?" The billionaire rushed to his daughter's side.
"Dad! You're really here. You came."
"Of course I came, sweetheart," Peter pulled his daughter into his arms. "You're my daughter. I will keep you safe if it's the last thing I do. I love you."
"I love you, too, Dad," Orwell declared, hugging him back.
"I thought I lost you."
"I know, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm done running."
"YOU!" Fleming growled, catching sight of the Cape in the doorway.
"No, no, no. Dad, it's okay. It's okay. He's a friend. He's my friend. Don't hurt him. That goes for you, too, Cape," she turned to Vince. "Don't hurt him. He's my father."
"Peter Fleming is your father? You sure know how to keep a secret," the Cape rasped.
"Jamie, darling, I love you. But how do you see this working out? You must know that he and I are enemies. We're on opposite sides."
"I don't care. This ends now. As of right now, the two of you stop trying to kill each other. You stop this, this all-out war, this always being at each other's throats. You find a way to put all that behind you and move forward peacefully, for me."
"Orwell, how do you see that happening? He tried to kill me. He ruined my life. And now, we're just supposed to bury the hatchet? Why, because he's your father and you're supposed to be my friend? What kind of a friend keeps a secret like that?"
"In case you've already forgotten, I almost died tonight. I was kidnapped and I was drugged out of my mind and almost married off to some monster, and maybe none of that would have happened if the two of you were allies instead of mortal enemies. I don't expect you to be friends. But this shit ends now."
"Just like that?" the Cape rasped.
"Just like that," Orwell stared back at him, defying him to argue with her after what she'd been through.
"Alright," Peter nodded. "Alright, we'll call a truce. A cease-fire, if you will. I'm willing to give it a try. Are you, Cape?"
"You took everything from me," the Cape shook his head.
"I hate to break it to you, mate, but I don't even know who you are."
"What if he cleared your name?" Orwell asked quietly. "What if Dad clears your name so that you can go home to your family? Would you try then? Please, for me, would you try?"
"…He hasn't agreed to do that."
"He'll agree to that for his only daughter. Won't you, Dad?"
"I'm not quite sure what I'm agreeing to—"
"Won't you, Dad?"
"Yes, fine, anything you want, sweetheart. But I'm sure you've had a very long day, and I'd like to get you home now. Maybe get a doctor to make a house call, make sure that whatever you ingested is out of your system."
"Do we have a deal, Vince? Truce?" Orwell asked.
"…Truce," Vince nodded reluctantly, regretting the word as it came out of his mouth.
"Wonderful, now, Jamie, let's get you home."
~Lux, A Few Days Later:
"When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around, Heaven opens a magic lane," Lucifer sang as he played the piano in his nightclub. "When all the clouds darken up the skyway, there's a rainbow highway to be found, leading from your window-pane. To a place behind the sun, just a step beyond the ra-aiinn. Somewhere Over the Rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true…"
"Morningstar asked to see me," Peter Fleming told Maze, raising his voice to be heard over 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow.'
"Have a seat over there until his set's over."
Fleming nodded and sat down at a booth. After Lucifer finished the song he was on, he went on to sing 'My Girl.' Finally, the devil stopped performing and came to join Fleming at the booth.
"You wanted to see me?"
"I think the words you are looking for are 'thank you.' And yes, I wanted to see you. I'm ready to collect on the favor you owe me."
"Thank you for helping me get my daughter back safe and sound. Now what is it going to cost me?"
"The ports."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Word is that Conrad Chandler died while in ARK custody. Which means you were able to buy Palm City's coastal property from the city—the very thing your daughter was trying to keep you from doing when she was kidnapped, as I recall. So, my price is Palm City's ports. You're going to sign that property over to me."
"What will you even do with the property?" Fleming demanded.
"Hm, don't know. Open another nightclub? A casino? Haven't decided yet, the point is, you're signing the deed over."
"…Fine, I'll call my lawyers and have it done. Anything else?"
"Not unless you can explain to me how even you manage to be better at parenting than dear old Dad," Lucifer replied, signaling one of the waitresses to bring him a drink.
"Well, I don't know what happened between you and your father. But if you really want my two cents: some people just aren't cut out to be parents."
Epilogue:
Dr. Linda Martin's Office, Los Angeles, A Few Years Later:
"What did you think?" Dr. Linda Martin asked. Her former patient turned friend/uncle of her child had gotten his hands on her first draft of a manuscript for a book the shrink was writing about Lucifer.
"It's," Lucifer chuckled. "I'm sorry, that ending—" he laughed again.
"It's just a first draft," Linda said, defensively.
"But you wrote down that I turned down the position of God, and left my family behind on Earth to be a therapist in Hell? Why exactly? Am I supposed to be that inspired by you? I didn't think your ego was quite that large, Linda."
"Alright, it was just a first draft. I didn't know how else to end the story. I'll write another ending, no one else ever has to see that one."
"Oh, I already emailed it to the gang."
"You did what?"
Lucifer's phone chimed with incoming texts. He started reading them.
"Looks like everyone else thinks the ending is as ridiculous as I do. And Detective Douche wants to know why you killed him off in the book. And Chloe wants to know why my former therapist expects me to abandon her while she's pregnant. Actually, could you do me a favor and tell my pregnant fiancée that I'm not going to abandon her?"
"Lucifer, why did you send everyone the manuscript? It was a private draft—"
"Of a book about my life," Lucifer pointed out, "which, I might add, you didn't tell me you were writing. You used your notes from our confidential therapy sessions, Linda. Frankly, I'm disappointed." Lucifer stood up and strode towards the door of Linda's office. "I'll see you and Charlie next week at the engagement party?"
"Yes," Linda confirmed, as her own phone started going off. Okay, look on the bright side, she said to herself. At least he wasn't her patient anymore.
THE END
Author's Note: And that's it folks. It only took—*checks metadata*-over nine years to finish this fic. Yikes. I think that's a record for me.
Thank you to all of my readers. Thank you to those who began reading this fic in 2014 and patiently waited for the end, even when I threw another fandom (Lucifer) into the mix. Thank you to those who started reading more recently despite it being a Work In Progress with an unpredictable update schedule.
But thank you, most of all, to those who reviewed/left comments. While I never abandon a fic, this crossover would not have been finished without you.
If you enjoyed the ending, please let me know. If you didn't enjoy the ending, please feel free to leave CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.
If you want to read more of my work, please check out "Recap of All My Fics," which is my homage to the recaps on The Late Late Show (and covers all of my works).
Chapter title is from "From Now On," from The Greatest Showman.
Take care. Be well. And Happy Almost Halloween!
