The next day the Koopas decided to go camping to connect with nature and whatnot after all this man made stuff like laser guns, bullet casings, cars and parties with lights and music.
So the three of them loaded up Iggy's truck with important stuff for camping and went into the wilderness of the Mushroom Kingdom.
They were roasting marshmelons upon a campfire and it was almost dark.
"Vanilla rabbit is such a classy milf," Larry lamented, "I hope she makes good choices and lives a long time."
"Naw, the math tutor I had in jr high, Toriel is milfoliciously milf-tastic." Lemmy replied.
"Is that why your grades were so poor?" Larru asked.
Iggy just stared at the mesmerizing fire.
"Not at first…" Lemmy answered.
Something felt off to Iggy, but he couldn't figure out what.
"So Bowser Daddy continued to pay riches that we were going to inherit from killing him, just so you could see your crush?" Larry asked.
"She's like a big, squishy marshmallow!" Lemmy said and ate an actual big, squishy marshmallow.
Iggy's blood went cold when he realized what was wrong. "There's something nearby." He said as he got up and grabbed his uzis.
"How do you know?" Lemmy asked with a mouthful of squishy white stuff that reminded him of his math tutor.
"The crickets have stopped." Larry said and grabbed his shotgun.
Lemmy's eyes got wide and he grabbed his smg. They weren't alone.
The three of them looked around at the forest but saw nothing.
"Maybe it's us that the crickets are afraid of?" Lemmy remarked.
Before the other two could reply, a long screeching howl sounded nearby.
Lemmy's heart started beating faster, while Larry tried to remain professional. Iggy just kept scanning the area until he realized there was one direction they hadn't looked.
He looked up, scanning the trees, but saw nothing.
"Hey, it's an elk!" Lemmy cried softly.
The other two turned to where he was looking and saw an animal with antlers and a snout a ways away.
"That's too tall to be an elk." Iggy said.
Just then the animal turned toward them and opened its mouth, letting out the same ungodly noise as before.
The creature walked towards them, and that's when Iggy realized why it was so tall, "It's walking on its hind legs!" He exclaimed.
As it got closer, the turtles were able to see that the creature was emaciated and even rotting in some places.
"It smells awful!" Lemmy said, holding his nose.
"My god, it's a wendigo!" Larry cried.
The wendigo opened its jaw to an unnatural width, but before it could make that horrible cry again, the three turtles opened fire at it.
Loud bags of gunfire filled the air as the cannibalistic demon screeched out in pain, eventually falling onto its back, its corpsy flesh filled with spent ammunition.
Iggy reloaded his guns as his brothers got the Katanas of Truth from the truck. You see, they weren't in a horror movie, so they knew they were allowed to not be complete idiots. So they chopped up the wendigo and threw it on the fire before it could come back to life.
They were pretty freaked out so they said "Fuck it." in unison, packed up, and stayed at a hoe tell for the night.
The next morning, the three bros had their breakfast of froot loops or whatever, and headed out.
Larry noticed the state penitentiary an amount of distance away from them.
"It looks kind of dark outside." Lemmy observed, "but it's not overcast-whoa!"
His older brothers looked where he was looking, in the sky. They saw a huge, gray triangle falling from the 'bove. It was a spaceship and it crashed into the penitentiary, completely destroying it. It made a loud crashing noise and it crashed and crumpled to the point of being totally totaled.
The three scaly brothers just stared in awe, because wow, they saw the thing that just happened.
A few seconds later, an escape pod fell from the 'bove and crashed in the middle of the road.
As the dust settled, they went closer to "investigate" and soon the pod door opened, revealing some white British guy in a gray uniform. He was holding a metal box.
"Stand back genitalmen," he said as he got out of the pod and pulled out a pistol, "these babies are MINE."
Just then a piece of metal debris came down on him and sliced walfway into his head, causing him to gurgle and die.
The koopas shrugged, took the box, got in Iggy's truck and drove home.
Once home, the Koopa boys opened the box and found four shiny objects, each twice the size of a battery operated boyfriend.
Lemmy grabbed one and pressed the button on it. With a "CK-SSHH" sound, an orange glowing blade came out of it.
"Lightsabers!" Iggy exclaimed, "It means outer space sword."
Lemmy took a few steps away from his bros and swung it around, listening to the whooshing-hum sound it made.
Larry grabbed the longer lightsaber and discovered that it was double bladed, both blue.
Iggy grabbed the last two sabers, one was green, the other purple.
Iggy smiled and put the Katanas Of Truth back on the wall behind the bar, they were still good for decoration.
Later, the koopas decided to go back to the fun center to see if the mess in the laser tag room had been cleaned up. It had, but as soon as they were in there, four poke of mon trainers were there waiting for them. It was members of both team Red and team Rocket because the teams had merged and were now team Red Rocket.
"You stole us the joy of being the ones to defeat team Ash!" Said one of the asswipes in a stupid uniform
"And we wanted that Pokémon to breed with ours!" Said another, just as overly dramatically as the first.
"We really don't care." Iggy told them.
"Well ye shall care in the hereafter!" Said one of the trainers, "Punkachu go!"
He threw his pokeball down in front, and out appeared a Salazzle, holding a paddle and wearing a black corset, miniskirt and fishnet stockings.
"Whoops! Wrong pokeball." Said the trainer as he retracted the Salazzle.
He threw up another pokeball, and out popped a pikachu that had a square ended tail, spiked cuffs and a collar, a green mohawk and lots of facial piercings.
Another one of the trains threw out a pokeball and from out came one of those Pokémon that looked like a muscular man with a cloud instead of legs and a tail that looked like anal beads.
Because the Koopa brothers were ever oh so prepared, they pulled out their new lightsabers. This would be the time to try them out.
The Pokemen zapped lighting at the brothers but they blocked it with their sabers and it bounced back and hit the people of team Red Rocket and they died.
Instead of getting mad the Pokémon just looked at each other and said "We're free!" and left to not be there.
Iggy grabbed the pokeball with the Salazzlemistress inside and the three Koopas left the room.
As they left the building, Iggy tossed the pokeball to one of the fun center employees and said, "This is yours if you clean out the laser tag room."
