It was the one-year anniversary of Tina's death and ironically the first day the family would be truly reunited. Bob and Linda's trial separation was not like Rudy's parents' divorce. They did not hate each other; they were not unhappy in their marriage. The loss of Tina had simply left them both with tremendous issues that they needed to work on individually. They had each spent three months in the hospital and another three working on themselves. Now they were ready to work on being a family again.
Gene was doing really well in his recovery and the judge decided that he was well enough to rejoin the family. Though the CPS case was still ongoing. He was confident that Bob and Linda had learned from their mistakes and were ready to be parents again.
Louise had thrived at Big Bob's house. She had been spoiled and doted on. Though what she loved most about the experience was Big Bob's stories about her Grandma Lily and Judith's stories about both Lily and Japan. Part of her was sad and didn't want to leave, but the other part was ecstatic to FINALLY be reunited with her parents and brother. Though she did desperately wish Tina would be joining them.
Louise nervously gripped Judith's hand as they waited at the cemetery. Bob and Linda arrived in the family's ancient station wagon. Bob had aged ten years in one and a lot of the light was gone from Linda's eyes, but they both looked a million times better than they had when the family was separated. Louise let go of Judith's hand and ran straight to her parents. She had become more open with her emotions since losing Tina.
"Mom! Daddy!" Louise cried.
"Oh, my baby! My sweet baby!" Linda cried, pulling her into a hug.
"Louise" Bob whispered gently brushing her hair off her cheek.
"I missed you guys so much." Louise replied.
A few minutes later a red minivan pulled into the parking lot and Gene jumped out of the passenger seat. Gene had changed the most in the year since Tina's death. When they were first separated Gene had recently turned twelve and now, he would soon be thirteen. He had had a pretty substantial growth spurt over the summer and now came to Linda's shoulders. He had grown his hair out to his shoulders today it was in a tight ponytail. A peach fuzz version of Bob's mustache was budding on his lips and his voice was beginning to crack. He no longer feared puberty, knowing there were a lot worse things that could happen. The biggest change however was that he was now dressing in more feminine clothes. Today he wore a black blouse and navy skirt over pink leggings and black Mary Janes. At the moment he still used he/him pronouns and his given name but admitted it was likely to change.
"LOU!" Gene cried scooping her into his arms.
"My Geenie Weenie!" Linda cried embracing her middle child.
"Oh, I missed your hugs!" Gene replied.
"God, I missed you, Gene." Bob added, they had actually seen Gene a lot less than they had Louise.
"OK this reunion is sweet and all. I have been waiting six months for it, but you are crushing me." Louise moaned.
"Gene, Lin give Louise some air." Bob ordered.
"Right, sorry." Gene apologized.
"Sorry Louise" Linda added.
Bob and Linda handled some last-minute affairs with the social worker and then the family slowly made their way into the cemetery. It was completely different than the first time they visited Lily. Even if the cemetery hadn't been significantly smaller than the one in Redburn. Louise was correct in her assurance that she would never be able to forget where Tina was buried. The family came to Tina's grave and one by one took turns saying hello. Linda went first.
"Oh, my Teeny Tina. I always hated cemeteries. It's even worse since losing you. I made a lot of bad mistakes after losing you. I almost lost Gene and Louise too but in different ways. I always thought I was a good mom. I guess I am, but I had no idea just how much you did for us." Linda spoke.
Bob was next.
"It took me years to be able to visit my mom's grave after she died and losing you was so much worse. I honestly can't believe I am here today. Just exactly one year later. I wouldn't be but like your mother. I made a lot of mistakes. I took you for granted but after you died, I actually did something worse. I took my grief out on Louise. I know how much you would have hated that, but I just hurt so much, and she was an easy target. I love you and I am sorry." Bob said.
Gene went after Bob.
"I made mistakes just like mom and dad. Mom struggled and I picked the absolute wrong way to stay close to her. I lost most of the sixth grade. It was just hard without my big sister. I was scared of having to be the example for Louise. Because I still needed an example. I love you so much." Gene said.
Louise went last.
"Tina man I didn't realize tell you were gone that you were my best friend. I loved you so much. I just wanted the family to be OK again. But we are now. I love you." Louise said.
The Belchers ended up spending their first night reunited at a hotel in Bog Harbor. None of them were quite ready to return to the apartment yet and Gene had one final therapy appointment at the center. Before his case was transferred to a local psychologist. Linda had been attending weekly AA meetings at a nearby church and Gene had joined a local chapter of AlaTeen. The entire family was still in group and individual therapy, and likely would be for a long time. The hotel room they had rented was actually a suite. Bob and Linda took one room and Gene and Louise shared the second.
"Hey Louise?" Gene called in the middle of the night.
"What is it, Gene?" Louise asked.
"I know it's late, but this is uh I guess this is the first time we've really talked in most of a year. I think before this it was Tina's funeral." Gene recalled.
"Yeah" Louise replied.
"I missed you. The people I stayed with were nice and they had a bunch of kids, but I felt so lonely. Because they weren't my family. They weren't you or Tina." Gene explained.
"I missed you too. Judith had her granddaughter for the summer, and I guess she has her now cause her dad isn't around and Judith's daughter has some health stuff, but yeah it wasn't you." Louise replied.
"I really wish I had never started drinking. I hurt you. I just wanted mom. I didn't think about you. I am so sorry." Gene apologized; he had apologized at least a hundred times since getting out of the hospital, but it never felt like enough.
"It's OK, Gene." Louise assured.
"But are you OK?" Gene asked.
"Yes" Louise assured even though she knew she was lying.
The next morning it was just Bob and Louise. Gene had his last therapy session and Linda had discovered that her favorite nurse from the center where she stayed was now working at Gene's former facility. She ended up opting to stay at the hospital and try to catch up between patients. Louise hated hospitals even more since the ordeal and didn't want to go near the center. Bob had similar opinions. The pair stayed back in the hotel room and were surprised and happy to discover "Hawk and Chick" was available on HULU. Which was part of the hotel's TV offerings. Louise curled up under the crook of Bob's arm. Something she hadn't done in far too long.
"I missed this." Bob admitted.
"Me too" Louise agreed.
"I never wanted to be my father, but death is cruel. Death doesn't discriminate and when it took Tina. I just wanted to escape the pain. I guess that's what my dad wanted too." Bob explained.
"You sound like a bad movie." Louise laughed.
"I know but it's true." Bob sighed.
"Remember when we actually got to meet Koji and Yuki?" Louise recalled.
"Which time?" Bob asked.
"The first time. When Koji was trying to reconnect with Yuki after thirty years." Louise replied.
"Yeah, Yeah I remember." Bob agreed.
"Well, I remember being afraid of not talking to you for thirty years and the scary thing is that could have happened." Louise explained.
"I know and I am sorry." Bob apologized.
"Why are you apologizing? I should have tried harder." Louise commented.
"Louise" Bob whispered, realizing just how badly this ordeal had affected Louise. Even after months of intensive therapy she was still blaming herself.
"Well, it's true. I could have done more. I could have prevented everything." Louise sobbed.
"Louise you were nine years old. Your mom and I should have done better." Bob assured.
"You had just lost a child. I shouldn't have been so selfish and just wanted you to be OK again. How could I expect that?" Louise sobbed.
"Louise" Bob whispered pulling her closer.
Louise's time with Linda came later that afternoon. After not grocery shopping for a year, the cupboards were bear. Louise had lived off the nonperishables when the casseroles stopped, and Zeke could only afford to supply small amounts. All that remained was a can of Pork and Beans that Linda had bought when they first moved in. A trip to the grocery store was beyond necessary. Bob was getting the restaurant ready to reopen in a few days and Gene had decided to lie down, but Louise wanted to go with Linda. The store itself wasn't anything special. Though they had changed a few things out since last time and much to her sadness the coin horse outside was broken and the stocker, she asked, didn't think they would be getting it fixed. Apparently that thing really was ancient, and they just didn't make the parts anymore. Louise considered asking if she could take it but doubted her parents would allow her to keep a broken-down amusement. So, she sadly gave it one last part. Before heading inside. She followed close to Linda as they wound their way through the store. Louise shuddered when Linda began to turn the cart down the wine aisle. She could not go through "that" again. Especially because this time CPS would not be so understanding, and her and Gene would be permanently removed from the home. Thank God, Linda shook her head and carried on. The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. Until they got to checkout. There was a box of marked down DVDs sitting at the end of one of the registers. Linda told her to pick one out and they would have a movie night. Louise agreed though most of the selection was being sold at bargain prices for a reason. Most were movies that universally flopped and a few stand-up specials from old, white, male comedians who had been doing the same act since the seventies. Then Louise saw it. A DVD of a concert movie Boyz 4 Now had released over the summer. Louise was fairly shocked to see it for only $4.99. She was mostly over her crush on BooBoo but knew this was the one.
"Did you pick one?" Linda asked.
"Yeah" Louise replied.
"Ohhh! Boyz 4 Now!" Linda cried.
"Yeah! Tina is going to… Never mind." Louise replied before placing the box on the belt and wordlessly walking out to the car.
Louise managed to keep it together until she was safely in the car. How could she forget Tina was dead? How could she forget the nightmare that was the past year? Linda arrived to the car a few minutes later and carefully loaded the groceries into the back. It wasn't much, but they didn't need much. Just enough to get through the week.
"Are you, OK?" Linda asked as she got into the car.
"How could I forget Tina was dead?" Louise questioned.
"Remember what the doctor said. It's normal." Linda reminded.
"I know but how could I forget the worst day of my life? God, the worst year of my life." Louise demanded.
"That's just how grief is Louise. I forget sometimes too. I did in there too. I forgot that I lost my daughter. I forgot that I spent six months drinking myself into oblivion. When I remembered I wanted to breakdown, but you looked so upset." Linda explained.
"I just don't get it. Why Tina?" Louise asked.
"Nobody knows why anybody." Linda replied.
"Why didn't they fix her kidneys? Why didn't they do dialysis? Why didn't they fight harder for her? I know she would have had brain damage and sure, she would have been disabled but I mean she's still a person and we would have loved her. I would have taken care of her after you and dad died." Louise questioned.
"Brain damage is a pretty broad term, Louise. It's not like Tina would have been in a wheelchair and not able to do much for herself. She would have been in what the doctors call a persistent vegetative state. She would have spent the rest of her life in a nursing home dependent on machines to keep her alive. It was not a way I wanted my child to live. Not that she would have lived much longer. Her kidneys were gone. Dialysis is great but it's a treatment not a cure. She needed a transplant, and they would never approve a transplant for somebody in her condition. Too few kidneys and too many people needing them." Linda explained.
"She could have had one of mine and maybe they could have found a cure?" Louise protested.
"Honey she would have been in constant pain. She wouldn't have been your sister anymore." Linda explained.
"But why?" Louise asked.
"I don't know." Linda sighed.
"I know you don't. I just wish I could have saved her is all." Louise replied.
"Me too" Linda agreed.
Saturday was the day they reopened the restaurant. Beyond Teddy adding two more res to the banner. It was nothing spectacular. Bob created a special burger for Tina with two bottom buns, aged cheddar, and ranch. It was the best he could come up with and he did not give it a name. It didn't feel right to give a punny name, but he knew it would be a permanent part of the menu. Though he was considering modifying it to be more Tina. He was planning special burgers for Gene and Louise as well. Louise's would have a habanero ketchup, pepper jack cheese, and diced sweet onions. Spicy yet sweet just like his girl. He was still workshopping Gene's. Wanting something that captured Gene's unique tastes and personality but did not warrant a visit from the health department. Speaking of the health department. Hugo had come by before the reopening. For once he did not mock Bob but gave a fair inspection and even gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.
"Hey Bob! Long time no sees. What did you close for a year?" Jimmy laughed.
"Six months, Jimmy." Bob sighed.
"Why did you do that?" Jimmy teased.
"Jimmy" Bob sighed.
"Oh My God! Bob, I am so sorry! I forgot! I had some troubles and the boys ended up moving in with their mom full time. I only see Jimmy on the weekends now and I forgot. I am so sorry." Jimmy apologized nervously.
"It's OK, Jimmy." Bob assured he was furious at Jimmy for making fun but at the same time grateful to see at least one thing had stayed the same.
Bob was closing up that night. He knew it was unsafe to be in the restaurant alone at night, but he allowed Linda and the kids to go upstairs. They had worked hard that day and deserved rest. Besides he needed the quiet. Times like that were when he felt closest to Tina. He locked up, giving the restaurant one last look. Savoring a memory of young Tina running around pretending to be the main character on one of those tweens shows that aired on Disney or Nickelodeon.
"Bob?" Jimmy called.
"What do you want, Jimmy?" Bob asked.
"I really am sorry about earlier. It was shitty of me to forget your kid died and even worse to make a joke." Jimmy apologized.
"It's OK, Jimmy really." Bob assured.
"She really was a great kid. Junior. He is a good kid and all. He's popular and everything but he still has trouble fitting in and he struggles with girls. Tina was always so nice to him. It really boosted his confidence." Jimmy explained.
"She did love him." Bob laughed.
"Yea well uh if you ever need anything. Even if it's just to talk. I am here." Jimmy offered.
"Thanks" Bob replied before stepping into the apartment.
Susmita heard from Jimmy Junior that Bob's Burgers had reopened, and that Gene and Louise were back. She had very little idea of what had gone down six months earlier. Just that Bob and Linda were working on some things and that Gene was sick and would be in the hospital for a while. Louise was OK but with family. The rest of the story was hushed whispers between her parents late at night and occasionally conversations with other parents at the grocery store. Her mom always seemed to forget something clear across the store when those talks occurred, and Susmita was always sent to get it. She had asked but was always shut down. Finally, she gave up on wanting the tea as Tammy would say and shifted to asking when Louise would be back. If she was coming back. That was always met with "I don't know." Which she guessed was true. Hearing about the restaurant reopening was a huge relief. Sunday afternoon she grabbed the carefully wrapped package and announced she was going for a bike ride. She carefully placed the package in her backpack and made her way. She arrived to the once familiar restaurant. Louise was sweeping the floor but set down the broom when she saw her. Bob told her to be back in ten and she agreed.
"Susmita" Louise greeted.
"Hi Louise" Susmita replied.
"How are you?" Louise asked.
"OK are you holding up, OK?" Susmita questioned.
"Yeah" Louise lied.
"I brought you something." Susmita replied handing Louise the package.
"Thanks" Louise replied carefully unwrapping the box. "What?" she asked. "No way" She cried.
"Do you like it?" Susmita asked.
"It's amazing but how?" Louise questioned.
"I wasn't sure if I could save the shirt but my Am'mam'ma uh that's Tengku for grandma, but she is amazing with laundry. She got the stain out and saved the print. She said it is more fragile now. It can't be washed much more but you could display it. I can make a box, or you could wear it on special occasions." Susmita explained.
"I think I want it displayed but the poem that was ruined." Louise replied.
"Thank Henry and his eidetic memory and it's in a book cause my uncle told me about a company that makes books out of kid's stories. I thought it should be in something special." Susmita explained.
"Susmita this is amazing thank you." Louise gasped before pulling the older girl into a tight hug.
Monday morning Gene returned to Wagstaff for the first time in over a year. The last time he walked those halls Tina was still alive and even when he got called out of class. He assumed she would return with them in a few days. There was a part of him that wished he had asked to be homeschooled as he had been in his foster home. He knew from his time at the center that some kids started partying in middle school and he was genuinely afraid. Afraid that he would be pressured to drink, and the demon would return. Even Moreso he was afraid of coming back to school. It scared him to think what the other kids thought about his absence. He used to not really care what people thought but that was before he became a twelve-year-old alcoholic. What if everybody knew? What if everybody judged him? What if they made fun of him?
"GENE! OH GENE!" Courtney cried.
"Courtney?" Gene replied.
"That's me! I missed you!" Courtney cried.
"I missed you too." Gene agreed.
"Gene! You really are back!" Alex cried.
"ALEX!" Gene cried.
"My mom said you were sick, but she wouldn't say what was wrong." Alex commented.
"Is it your heart? Maybe we are on the same medications!" Courtney cried.
"It's not my heart at least not like that. I uh I started drinking with my mom after Tina died." Gene explained.
"But drinking is bad! I mean my dad does it, but Mr. Frond says it's bad!" Courtney cried.
"I know believe me. It was just an easy way to cope. Now I know there are no easy ways." Gene explained.
"Well, I am glad you are back. Uh do you still like RoboWizardQuest?" Alex wondered.
"I am probably pretty rusty but yeah I think I could pick it up." Gene replied.
Linda went to get her hair cut Monday morning. She had kept it trimmed but she had not had a proper cut since before Tina died. She went to the salon where Gretchen worked. At least the one she had worked at the last time. Gretchen tended to change salons a lot. Well, it turns out she was still at her old job, but unfortunately, she was on vacation that week. Linda considered calling Ginger but remembered that she was at work and hated taking personal calls at work. She knew Gayle would be home but wasn't in the mood to deal with her sister. Gayle was doing better but still tended to be selfish. Instead, she walked the streets in silence. Replaying scenes from the past year over and over in her head.
"Linda?" A familiar voice called.
"Oh hey, Kathleen." Linda replied.
"I am so glad you guys are back. Not near as much as Teddy but I am definitely glad to know you are doing better." Kathleen explained.
"Thanks" Linda muttered.
"You made it through the first year. You aren't on the other side yet, but you are getting there." Kathleen commented.
"Is there another side?" Linda asked.
"Yes, now it is very different, but I felt the same way when my husband died. Really it wasn't until I met Teddy that I felt whole again. Of course, you can't get another daughter, but your family will heal in its own way. Gene and Louise will get married and have families of their own. Then they will teach them about Tina. As long as you remember her, she isn't really gone." Kathleen assured.
Lunchtime rolled around and Louise felt that old lonesome feeling returning. Gene and his friends had picked up as if nothing had happened. Louise was happy for him, she really was. Especially knowing how much he worried about returning to school, but it still hurt. Seeing that he was moving on and did not need her the way that she hoped.
"Louise!" Rudy called.
"Hey Rudes" Louise sighed wishing he wasn't sitting with Chloe Barbash and her minions.
"We can sit somewhere else." Rudy offered rising and moving to an open seat at the next table.
"Thanks" Louise sighed sitting across from him.
"How are you feeling?" Rudy asked.
"I miss her. Everybody else is getting better but I am getting worse." Louise admitted.
"I know how you feel." Rudy admitted.
"How?" Louise questioned.
"It's not the same but when my parents got divorced, I tried to be strong for them and act like I was OK when I really wasn't. Because I didn't want them to feel bad but then when my mom met Paul and my dad decided to work on himself before trying to meet another woman. Well, they didn't need me to be happy all the time anymore. So, I got depressed. My therapist said I was finally allowing myself to grieve, and I think you are doing the same thing." Rudy explained.
"My therapist says the same thing, but I like it better coming from you." Louise replied.
"Why?" Rudy asked.
"Because you are my best friend." Louise sighed.
"Well, uh my mom and Paul are going to Plate and Fork again on Friday. It's a just the two of them date but my mom said I could have a friend over. Jen was the only babysitter available. So, I guess she wants somebody who understands my asthma. I mean Jen tries but last time I had an attack. She shook me and told me to stop it. I guess she thought she could scare it out of me." Rudy explained.
"Sure, I'll make sure you don't die Rudy. If you let me mess with Jen a little." Louise assumed something about Rudy made her feel like her old self again and that felt better than anything in the world.
