To be fair, some idea for this 'story' in the first chapter (and maybe further due to my laziness) i took from Fear and Loathing in Las-Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson. Yet, it'll be used for a parody with changed plots and 'twists', although I doubt to manage this with canon 'crossing'. (Warning for using drug, alcohol, and every clichéd ''mature themes'', also need some little assistance in prompts, tips, anything that'd useful)
This was not a 'cocaine', the late realization knocked in, that was something stronger or it seemed to me, my mind became so confused, foggy to find any specific answer for this. The damn drug continued taking the hold, with rising heat in my body.
We were already on the way down to the NERV HQ, getting away from the battlefield as we could, yet, my mind was crushing under the gaining weight of hallucinations, headaches and nervous flinching, I'm tried to control it, though it was hard enough when you're sitting on the seat, buttoned belt up and Misato took some sight of me doing that, like i caught some scabies, she asked me: "Are you sure you're alright? You look and act so weird, maybe Ritsuko will check your condition up?" her voice almost ringed in my head, like echo in the deepest caves inside of my ear shells.
Shit, why do these side effects have to be so painful? And how long can i maintain this before I'll start raving at Misato? What will she think of me, then? Wait, just keep it calm.
"I told you I'm fine, it's just pretty hot here, that's all" unknown feeling of impulse was growing inside of me, as more sweat appeared on my forehead, i can feel every small drops of them sliding away, like a butter melting under the sun by forty degree celsius. Misato didn't drop her concern act, nor taking her sight off the road view we're on. What should I do? What should I say? I wasn't some wimpy boy in his wet pants or cheap wannabe edgelord, pretending that taking high stuff and saying slurs is a cool thing, it was not, I just took this drug 'gift' today, because I had suspicious feeling about some albino girl being hallucination or not.
Right now, I was like standing on the edge of cliff, and at the very bottom, there's a biggest pile of shit, named consequences, it's waiting for me to make one step, jump off the cliff and dive in this shit, meaning I would expose myself and my commited 'little crime', for using the dangerous, illegal and unknown drug I've ever tried.
"SHINJI!" Good Lord, Misato's echo suddenly rang in my head again, with the addition of loud and distant whistle, I grabbed my head, trying to drown out that disturbing echo, yet, that echo ringed again "TUCK YOUR HEAD INTO YOUR LAP AND BRACE YOURSELF FOR THE IMPACT!"
"For what?" i weakly asked her, as that was about Angel going to explode? Don't tell me it's going to explode right now.
At the same time, in the distance, whistle sound died down, then, behind us the soundwave with bright flash from explosion that was bigger and strong than those missiles i saw, threw us out the road.
It had enough power to knock me down unconscious, my eyesight became blurry, then, i fell unconscious.
Dammit, we were almost out getting away from the battlefield right? How long I was unconscious? I wondered. I took a little pick of eye and saw in blur, that we didn't move anymore, we made a stop somewhere in the middle of trip. That was pretty strange that i was knocked out from explosion in single moment, like it was never happen. Looking up to the sky through the car's window, there was an evening - the sun slowly sat down by the horizon.
Even with this short time flyby, that was painful when i was knocked out by explosion, I've earned the lump on the back of my head.
My blurred vision fades away, although the drug affects were still there. Taking some alcohol and smoke before my arrival here, was 'refreshing' in my life in age of fifteen. But this drug is about to turn me into something else, but what? I just couldn't sit in this seat of Renault alone, where Misato was standing outside near the cliff, talking to someone on the phone, but whom?
What should I say? I should do something, i cannot unreveal my cards in front of her. No, don't think about something stupid, you're under her wing, she wouldn't do anything bad for me, as long, as I'd behave 'fine', just ignore this drug. And try to talk to her like a 'normal' person.
I unbuttoned seatbelt, and got out of the car, violet-haired woman paid attention to me and hang up her phone, saying like 'We'll be there immediately'.
It was time to approach to her carefully, with a 'fine' face and talk without any bullcrap I wouldn't dare to drop, or there was a false feeling to maintain this? Anyway, time to tale some action.
"Misato" i addressed to her, standing up in the middle of my move direction "are you wondering why I'm under your guard?"
She didn't answer, looking at me with confuse that i was started to say some stupid. No, i shouldn't do that and shouldn't ask that dumb question, even when I'm was still drugged to this unknown white powder. I continued my attempt to communicate with her despite fuzziness in my mind...with gazing at her figure- Damn it, fool! Don't let this temptation taking a hold. And remember to try avoid mentioning about the strange drug, ignore it!
"Anyway, that was a dumb question for our icebreaker, so, you should know some story of mine, besides the some papers this organisation gave?"
"What kind of story?"
"Well, you know that my name's Ikari Shinji, right?" i asked her, as she nodded "Son of Commander in NERV in Tokyo-3, and he's sort of 'great' of something i don't understand it at all." she gave me a little smirk with some understanding of what i was saying, if it wasn't some bullcrap, "You know, i always hate the studying, you know why?"
"For real?"
"Yeah, My story starts in Tokyo-2, when i was sitting in my room, it happened week earlier, i received a letter with a single word that my uncle mad and photo of you, of a pretty woman standing on the beach, you know that?"
"Well" she paused with a little blush on her cheeks. Am i really flattered her with this comment, or was it a trap? "I wouldn't say that I'm that pretty"
"Doesn't matter of fact Misato, without any formalities, my uncle and aunt where worried sick about me, properly prepared me for this arrival, like, if there was something, why not to give a shot personally in this NERV?" i suddenly chuckled with a hint of my boring days in Tokyo-2, "Back then, I was spending my life of a boring teenager in his sixteens who complains about something he doesn't like and knows no jackshit" damn, i said an vulgar word in the end, what will she think about it? She gave me a expression with rised eyebrow, she suspected me and she is going to ask me question after question about some controversial thing I've done. I couldn't make it. Why am I became so paranoid all of sudden? Think! There was no way to getting away from started icebreaker, so I've pushed a little bit with effort, where she'd believe me that i didn't anything wrong, play dumb.
"Ahem, i mean, i wasn't a good student if I'd earn some grades on subjects i know, along with only good old foreign language" i carefully came closer to her "tell me, do you know English?" she shook her head adding "not a bit of it"
"That's good, otherwise I'd jabber about some nonsensical gibberish talk, you would never understand it" and i was almost there, took a too much close distance to her, both standing on the edge of the cliff. Beneath us, there was a huge view of Tokyo-3 - a secured city fortress and one of the NERV's bases.
We both looked down at the city, as buildings emerges from the metal ground, revealing it's beauty, according to violet-haired woman's comment and relaxed look. For me - those skyscrapers and buildings near them, took a form of countless sharp needles, slowly growing towards the sky.
Don't. Stay calm, this is just an hallucination. I muttered to myself thoughtfully.
I'm going to reveal some parts of my life in Tokyo-2 to her, but in not vast detail, and whenever or not, i should keep my 'secret' up...
Week earlier, before my arrival in Tokyo-3
Another usual and boring day in my life. A life of fifteen years old boy, spending the time with the books, listening pre-old music (not classical) from my audio player, doing the net activities on his laptop, and other 'boring' activities I'd like to list them, but grown bored.
That day, I was sitting in my room, though it was small enough for describing it as a 'comfy' room of 'anti-social', post-left person who spends his hours from usual activities to complaining about the modern conditions of our real world in my mind.
About yesterday in the school, i wrote down the essay about my own future, and during this writing brainstorm, i was thinking - should i care to elaborate in the small piece of paper about my revolutionary tendencies, although i knew, that this revolution in comforting society of customers would bring nothing new, or writing down like a crybaby from post-modernistic mecha about meaningless of existence, having no ambitions nor cherished dreams and add some exaggerated melancholy?
I chose the former, which I didn't regret it, teacher got pissed and yelled at me, saying that any revolutionary activities brought nothing good - death, famine, illness, all spreaded like a wildfire in the name of 'establishing new government'. As authority and security was 'better' than those 'silly' revolutions, he said, I knew this was coming, I swallowed my hurt pride and put a mask of a 'humble' young man, and listened his 'lifetime advice', for my career.
Well, it's 'useful' tool, I felt like I'm wearing too much masks of morality, ethics, savagery, illiteracy, everything that gives me more burden than use.
A knock on the door brought me back to reality, it must be uncle or aunt, I was sitting on my bed with my laptop, i heard the voice ask: "Shinji, may i come in?", it was my aunt, a sweet, brown haired woman in her fifties, she didn't look like a grandma, although her plump body told otherwise about her lifestyle and her work as a teacher in kindergarten. She like cooking dishes and pastries, I was helping her back then, when she and my uncle, educated me to make me more 'autonomous' and 'independent man', which resulted to create a lazy young slob, with above average mind, and tendencies of homestuck hikka.
She scolded me, for my lifestyle and my condition i living in right now.
I wasn't complaining about it, only felt disappointment, I tried to be 'better', with daily chores, studying and writing down my journal on my laptop, yet, i got the same 'results' every moment in my hikka's life. Although, my aunt and uncle were patient and kind enough to raise me as their kin, well, a spoiled one, who's trying to be a 'leftie' or 'rightie' aware of their flaws, switching these two sides, like changing my headgear between ushanka and cap with a red rising sun. Pretty subjective for this 'choice'.
I said: "Come in", the door was opened, and brown haired woman in her casual clothes of homemaker came in, with a envelope in her hands, what's the deal with this envelope? I thought. Usually we received some letters that was about either my uncle's and aunt's jobs, relatives, friends, or contained a papers of taxes and school reports of my class skipping, it was a frequent event. I asked her: "Is this about taxes or another school skipping?" thinking it'll be one of two.
Instead answering my question, she approched to my bed and extended the envelope to me, she meant it was personal, since it wasn't either about school or taxes. It was about family business to read it together, isn't it?
When my uncle came home from his librarian job in Tokyo-2's university, we three together opened the envelope to see it's content during the dinner. Having a good old noodles with ham and boiled eggs.
My uncle read it first, I still remember his frustrating reaction from the letter, with a single word "Come", it was meant to me, from my own father that abounded me. This trigger already touched his nerves, once an old man's gentle face of old librarian now is turning into disappointed and raged expression, the Doctor Hyde and Mister Jekyll could be envious from my uncle's 'ability' to make this look. I took the letter from him, I wrapped my head about the letter, why is there something wrong with this letter? It was just a blank paper with NERV logo and Gendo's sign on it, that were meant to me. Even though, the strange feeling of something, didn't leave me.
I asked my uncle, "What does this man want from me?", his face softened a bit, with his still sight of disappointing.
"I have a feeling it'll be something that may not be good"
"We always knew this day will come"
"You did?"
Uncle made a bitter sigh, his mind clearly did hide something, and he was about to reveal for me. His gaze turned to Aunt, his beloved spouse slightly nodded, as she didn't want me to know the secret, which is going to be realised too earlier, but better earlier than never.
"I'll tell you everything I know, for now, let's finish our dinner"
Later, after finishing our dinner, my uncle drank tenth shot of one whiskey bottle out of three bottles.
My uncle insisted that I should take some shot of whiskey too, just for 'warming up' for our 'close talk'
Man, this was first 'warming up' moment in my life, i could remember i was taking some little alcohol only in holidays, funerals, parties, every moment that was allowed to mourn, celebrate and congrating. But this, was sort of 'special' for our icebreaker, between him and me. My aunt was in outside, as she already knew this story from my uncle. I was drunk, but still holding my composure from turning myself into a drunk animal, listening hia
"So" he started with a drunk, still sober tone "you should already know that your father works at NERV as commander in Tokyo-3"
"Maybe. But what's the deal with this letter I've just received it today?"
"The story is, is that he abounded you in the age of four after your passed away in one of those tests" he hiccuped "and after hearing this story, your aunt and i told you, that your father doesn't want to see you anymore, as it meant that we're the only guards your mother have trusted, and so, we took you under our wing, grooming you like our own kin. Too bad that Yuri cannot be here, seeing her son grown up"
He sighed heavily, with weight of grief as I could described it by the look of his drunk face, a little tear shed from his left cheek, it is indeed was the sad moment. I gave him a napkin and he wiped tear from his cheek.
"That means this day came in, and I'm going to leave Tokyo-2?" I asked him, looking down at the small glass, twirling around the circle "I wasn't good student in this city anyway, what about Tokyo-3?"
"Well, maybe this city would give you a second chance then, eh?" he continued with little hiccup "Right now, you have enough time for a week, and as your uncle and guard, I'd advice you to take some jacket, sunglasses, your personal clothing by your choice of needs, some books from our library, and of course" he poured himself another shot of whiskey and drink it with one quick gulp.
"Two things - one, your spare notebooks, pencils, pens, journal, everything you may need for your studying time in Tokyo-3"
"I have my own laptop as the journal, instead of some booky journal"
"'Some booky' journal, never thought you would use those modernish terms, wouldn't you?" he asked me with a drunk tease.
"The times are changes with us uncle, but people stay the same" i said, standing up from the chair "You boomers are all the same - old people with huge amounts of complaining about spoiled youth with dangerous and unknown ideas to them, while once in their young times, they were spoiled too with dangerous and unknown ideas"
"And I never thought you'd become the spoiled the motormouth boy"
"Even so" I gave him a honest smirk with my extended to his "I hope there wouldn't be any troubles for getting some clothes in this house, as for the rest?"
"As for the rest" he extended his old wrinkled hand to mine, handshaking of the deal, "You, your aunt and I will deal with this. Plus, no drugs, smoke or alcohol during the trip"
"Excuse me?"
He gave an honest chuckle for what he have just said "just kidding, we'll take some drink and little smoke with good dinner for the last day before your trip for the next monday," he then made his face more serious, his hazel eyes stared to mine demanding a simple thing I shouldn't break it "don't even think about doing some drugs, or they'll give you a impactful consequences"
"I promise i would not"
"Atta boy" he gave an good satisfied smile, for me, there were still a leftover feeling of worry about me, as my uncle and aunt didn't want me to be near behind the man, who was responsible for abounding me and left me with no mother, and growing up under the spoused couple of my mother's side. I wasn't sure what was awaiting for me there, after no seeing my father nor recieving everything he would actually sent some letter, package anything, i wasn't looking foward for this 'long waited' meeting.
So, I've spent my week before going to Tokyo-3, it was easily to bring some clothes from our house, school belongings and books borrowed from my uncle, and my aunt and i bought some groceries as i was usually done it before, i had my own pocket money to buy something for myself, i spent some yen on sunglasses and jacket. It was tuesday. I was thinking about buying new cassette, since my shelf had many stacked together in single shelf's space, when i told my aunt about buying it, she said: "Come on honey, you've already enough cassettes"
"But I it's not for collection, it's for the long trip I'm going to pass in, with putting all musical compositions in the single, fat, cassette"
"Are you sure you would manage to put all the music you like or some of them?"
"Some of them of course, gonna find somebody who would do this job"
And i did, found some electric shop, on wednesday, with ask to re-upload some musicals I've choose to bring, into the single cassette.
"Let me guess, dude, you want me to re-upload your stacked cassette into single one?"
"Yep, I'm definitely sure about this"
"You do? I don't think that my old computer would process your single cassette, and there's a chance that it'll chew your songs to shit, man"
"I would insist in this, as I'll wait for any hours" "Are sure you wouldn't regret it?" he questioned me, as he was taking me as some fool with brave
"I wouldn't" i said with hint of pride "even when I'll waste my time of waiting" and that was a one of the some mistakes I've made, with no regret but dissatisfaction, I've earned my ordered cassette after six-seven hours of waiting till the evening, with musical compositions i would listen from this chewed, broken cassette, that would be labelled as 'cursed cassette'.
For friday, after the school, i was walking back to home, passed one small hotel, where two men chatted with eachother - worker and manager, have just received a big package that would like a couch.
Before i was reached to my home, I've met some black hobo, literally, an african immigrant man in his bagged and torn clothes, living in this abandoned neighborhood hood, although, he didn't look like he was dangerous, a homeless and harmless neighbor in this place. With his good talk and greetings, despite his bad smell, he gave some aluminium bag, saying there's some cool stuff that'd 'chill me' out. What exactly he did mean by that? Was he running from someone? And was he gave me a cocaine or something? I was about to ask him, but he stated that he doesn't want any troubles in this place, and i should use this stuff.
Hiding this small aluminium bag in my backpack, i would never thought, that was the last time I've seen this black man, with no name, and no further information about him. Even so, my uncle will be me if I'd told him about the aluminium bag, but i didn't tell him, with avoiding a trouble but gaining a guilt, that would me someday.
As for the rest days I've spent, I didn't have enough time to describe in detail with a lot of watery words.
For the last day of sunday, late evening, uncle, aunt and i were having a good dinner with fried shrimps, soup with noddles and pieces of ham and rice porridge. Having good talk between me and my uncle and aunt, gave us a nice atmosphere for the last time, even so, that was good moment I've spent.
After finishing the dinner, uncle and I, drunk more than twenty milligrammes of whiskey, ending up with smoking outside, staring up to the nighty sky, it was refreshing. I was still sixteen, and uncle gave me a single cig, stating that'll first and last time for me to take a smoke in my life.
A lock of guilty didn't leave me from friday. I broke a promise i gave to him, and I'm still bearing this broken promise. Another question popped in my head, like: What will uncle think about me, when i lied to him that I've took some aluminium bag? Will guards in the railroad station notice my bag through metal scanner? Whenever or not, i should keep this as a secret for good, a secret that'll be a foundation for my 'new life' in Tokyo-3. I wasn't sure what kind twists will await for me, as long, as it'll be recorded in this journal. But i hope it'll turn out to be great.
Although, my doubting skepticism thought otherwise, as keeping this secret would end up pretty bad.
