Chapter 3: Merry Christmas, You Old Coffeehouse!

"Hey, Chandler! Chandler!"

Sniffling bitterly, Chandler dazedly lifted his head, ignoring the snow coming down around him in buckets. Great. Now after hallucinating visions of madness, he was hearing delusions too. Had it come to that….?

"Hey, Chandler, you all right? What's the matter?"

Chandler twisted away, eyes blazing and feral, wild and desperate. "Back off, Gunther, or I'll mow you down again!"

"What the hell are you yelling for, Chandler? More to the point, what are you doing here? I thought Monica mentioned you were in Oklahoma on business!"

That…. that was right…. Oklahoma…. He had been in his hotel in Oklahoma when Clarence had first appeared. Except now he was in New York, except…. Except this wasn't the hell-scape Clarence had shown him.

Chandler peered at the barista in wonder, hardly daring to believe it. He'd said his name! "Chandler….. Gunther, you know me….?"

"Know you?" Gunther blinked, befuddled. "You've been coming into Central Perk for the last ten years!" He furrowed his brow at him. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"What the… - Central Perk?" Chandler began to cackle. "Central Perk! You work at Central Perk, Gunther!"

Gunther chuckled bemusedly. "Well, yes….."

"Whaddaya know about that?! – MERRY CHRISTMAS!" And an exultant Chandler began a mad dash off the bridge and all the way home into the city, leaving a flabbergasted Gunther in his wake.

"Monica? … Monica!" Chandler was tearing into lower Manhattan like a madman, pelting for the Villages. The snow was coming down heavily, but he didn't let the drifts stop him, shouting in victory and relief, calling out Seasons Greetings even to total strangers as he passed. The closer he got to home, the more he spotted landmarks he recognized and his ecstasy only grew. He didn't even care how it was that he had gotten home when before he had been in another state, and then another reality entirely – he was just so grateful that he was here. It felt so good to be alive!

"Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, WENUS building! …. Merry Christmas, you wonderful Central Perk coffeehouse! …." He slowed to a stop in front of his apartment building and cheered. "Merry Christmas, Bedford Street!" He thundered up the stairs, shouting and leaping with joy. "Merry Christmas, third floor! Merry Christmas Apartments 19 and….. 20! Apartment 20! Monica? Monica! Mon, I'm home!"

Chandler burst into his house, an insane grin on his face, beaming as he watched all his friends rise from the couch and dash over, clearly in shock to see him back from Oklahoma.

"Chandler, we weren't expecting you home until tomorrow….."

"Phoebe! Oh, Pheebs, thank God! You're not dead!"

Phoebe sent a quizzical Huh? expression around to her friends. Usually, making bizarre statements was her job.

"Joey! Got an audition coming up?" Chandler cackled.

Joey frowned. "Not during the holidays, dude…."

"Well, whatever you need, I'll help you! Cold readings, tapings – Rache! Oh, Rache…." And Rachel was flabbergasted when Chandler actually hugged her. "And here's Ross – the best brother anyone could ever have!" His hands were reaching, clasping, holding his friends – his family – close as if afraid they might disappear any second.

"Uncle Chandler!"

"Ben! Emma!" Chandler caught his nephew and niece and lifted them both, kissing their little heads. "Oh, you guys…."

Through Emma's curls, Chandler finally saw her. His beautiful, beloved wife. His Monica, looking skinny and sexier than he had ever seen her. She was drifting nearer to him, a pleasantly surprised smile on her face.

"Honey! What are you doing here….?"

Completely unconstrained in his joy, Chandler all but dropped both Ben and Emma as he hurled forward and gathered Monica in his arms. He swung her back into a dip and Monica barely had time to let out a shaky, shocked laugh, her eyes studying her husband with a gobsmacked expression before Chandler was kissing her, kissing her until he felt Monica melt into his arms and dreamily kiss him back.

Rachel laughed nervously and moved to cover her daughter and stepson's eyes from such a grown-up embrace. Watching the display, Joey was beaming like a kid in a candy store. "It's a Christmas miracle!" he whimpered emotionally.

Chandler finally swooped Monica back onto her feet and they sensuously broke apart, Monica's eyelids fluttering rapidly like a butterfly's wings. Her cheeks were flush, and she was breathing hard, appearing quite speechless.

"What are you doing here?" she gasped, dazed.

"I wanted to be with you," Chandler admitted, taking her hands in his. "I missed you so much…." How could there have ever been a misunderstanding about what he was doing in Oklahoma? Hell, how had he even ended up in Oklahoma? He was never going to fall asleep in meetings again!

Joey looked like he was starting to ask who Chandler missed the most, shot a look at Monica and then backed up.

"I never want to leave you again," Chandler murmured, gazing at his wife, absolutely sick with love. He tugged her back into his arms, feeling tears spring to his eyes, drinking in every inch of her. "God, let me look at you….. are you real…?"

"Chandler!..." Monica blushed. "I thought if you left, you'd get fired."

"Turns out they can't fire me….. because I quit!" Chandler quipped. "Or, I will be quitting. Joey, get me the phone, would you?" He punched in the number of his company's Tulsa location. "Hello, Miss McKenna? Yeah, this is Chandler Bing letting you know that I quit! Merry Christmas!" He slammed the phone down with a giggle.

Ross stared. "Did you seriously just quit your job?"

"Yeah! It was a stupid job and I could not stand leaving you! And why should I get to be the only one who doesn't want to do what he really wants to do?"

"Oh, my God…." Monica stared at her husband, beaming.

"I'm sorry; I should have talked about it with you…"

"No, no, if this is what you want to do, I think it's great….!" The friends all began talking at once, guiding Chandler over to the couch to give him his presents. Chandler lifted Emma onto his lap and let her show him her toys.

Somewhere close by, he could swear he heard a bell ringing….

"Uncle Chandler! Uncle Chandler! Listen!" Ben babbled excitedly. "Hear that? My teacher says that every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!"

"…. That's right!..." Chandler beamed. "…. That's exactly right, Ben!"

Reaching under the tree, Monica found one last present addressed to her husband and frowned at the unfamiliar wrapping. "Who bought this for Chandler?"

"Check the label!" Rachel suggested.

Joey studied the package and frowned. "Not me, Mon!"

Frowning curiously, Monica sashayed over to the couch and handed the present to Chandler. "It's for you, honey."

Chandler tore it open, finding a white, leather-bound book inside. When he opened the cover to the title page, there was an inscription written inside:

DEAR CHANDLER:

REMEMBER – NO MAN IS A FAILURE WHO HAS FRIENDS!

THANKS FOR THE WINGS!

~ CLARENCE

Joey peered over the couple's shoulder. "You gave chicken wings to someone other than me?" he whined.

Monica frowned, pointing at the signature. "Who's Clarence?"

Gazing down at her, Chandler grinned warmly. "Oh, someone who's a very dear friend of mine."

Monica beamed back at him, allowing Chandler to tuck her into his side and she snuggled against him, sorry that she had ever doubted him or his faithfulness to her.

"Ohhhh… Merry Christmas, sweetie….."