AU: When an exploration mission goes way off the left field, Jack and Sam are left to patch up their lives. Will that door stay open?
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am once again taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe. Takes place after 5.05 Red Sky with some canon episodes skipped (overlooked) and others referenced.
Rating: Mature.
Chapter 35: Released
Thursday morning - Jack - SGC Infirmary
Opening my eyes and blinking rapidly as the grey walls and ceiling of the infirmary came into focus, I looked over to find Daniel resting in the bed beside me reading one of my MAD magazines. My body ached all over, but I could not remember why. Then I lifted my head and shoulders from the pillow and suddenly wished I had not moved.
"Ahh. God, what the…" I complained when pain shot through my shoulder, down my chest and along my arm making me drop back to the bed with a heavy thud and a less than manly squeal rather than the preferred grunt or gritted teeth approach one would expect from a seasoned Air Force Colonel. The next thing that went through my mind was when did the truck hit me and how big was it?
"Welcome back." Daniel murmured trying – and failing – to hide his look of amusement at my reaction. Turning my head gingerly without lifting it off the pillow, I saw him in profile as he turned a page, his neck sporting an angry red welt rimmed by an impressive purpling bruise.
"What happened?" I asked, my mind still a little fuzzy. The last thing I remembered was… "Shit, Sam! Ahh… for crying out loud!" I cried when my sudden movement triggered the shooting pain again. Laying back down, I breathed heavily through the agony that felt eerily similar to something I'd experienced before, though with the pain centres of my brain firing on all cylinders, I found it hard to connect the dots to which mission and which injury this reminded me of.
"You were shot by an intar pistol on full power." Daniel commented while still reading. Yep, that was it. Damn kids and their war games. Not the big honking space guns we had been interested in, but their rifles became effective training tools. Of course, Carter had taken the technology and modified it for use an M9 pistol. God, those things hurt. Turning my head, I couldn't help but wonder what on Earth had happened to make someone shoot me with an intar, let alone on full power. No wonder I was in so much pain. Those things made a zat feel like a mild static shock. "You've been out for a while." Daniel added.
"OK. Why? And who? And why?" I asked, a little impatience present in my tone.
"That would be my fault." The voice in my head announced with a groan. Of course, it was. Why was I not surprised that my shadow had been responsible. Wait, what? Why was he groaning, I was the one that got shot!
"You went off the deep end." Daniel stated before I could press my inner arsehole for details. Looking up from his – no, my – magazine, "Well, not you per se. The other you, I think." He added with a shrug of his shoulder. "Teal'c shot you when you wouldn't stand down." He continued, with a sigh and a tired look. "That was yesterday afternoon." I took in his appearance. He was in scrubs, on an infirmary bed, an angry red welt that I recognised from somewhere in my past. A darker time when I had to kill silently and without conventional weapons. I could feel my heartrate increase.
"Daniel, what did I do?" I asked cautiously suspecting that my alter-ego was blocking my memory just like he had done for years after I had taken the lives of targets in ways that would otherwise send a man crazy – often while I stared into the depths of their eyes until the light was extinguished and their body limp. Like he had done with the girls and the things I had inflicted on them while under orders. No wonder that part of me was so damaged. "Daniel?" I urged the man on the bed as I swallowed down the bile that threatened to make itself known.
"You really don't remember, do you?" He quizzed, this time dropping the magazine. I shook my head with a wince, since even that small movement caused pain. Closing my eyes, I focused on the last thing I remembered, Nicolls telling me Sam was pregnant, then being told Sam was gone, but not that kind of gone. Then nothing.
"What did you do?" I asked my alter-ego, but he was strangely silent on the subject. "Where is Carter?" I asked the man beside me, feeling the anxiety build up. Anxiety that I could normally control, but now struggled to contain. I wondered if that had something to do with the darker part of me being awake and uncontained.
"MacKenzie has her. You tried to go after her, I got in your way." He stated with a smirk. "I should've known better, but I didn't want my friend to throw everything way, especially when it wasn't really you chasing her." He explained casually as if he was not laying in a bed beside the man who tried to kill him.
"Shit! I didn't mean…" I breathed deeply through another wave of pain, "…what I meant is sorry." I apologised with a wave of my hand at his neck. "Why didn't you stop him?" I demanded even though I knew Daniel would have stopped MacKenzie if he could have. "She's pregnant with…" I started to say but stopped when Daniel motioned with his eyes to the flashing red light.
"I know. Unfortunately, with the antibiotics there was nothing protecting her after our time together." I narrowed my eyes. What the hell? He said 'our' as if he was sleeping with Carter. I could feel my shadow rousing at Daniel's words, so I held him at bay. I knew he wasn't... he wouldn't. Neither would Carter. After all, we cared about each other... loved each other. Suddenly my stomach dropped. She had said she loved me, and threw it back at her, and why? Because I wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt me when she said her career was more important than me even though her career was the reason for leaving things in the room a year ago. Before we knew what it was to be together. What an idiot I had been. No wonder my shadow had railed against me that day, I gave him hope... us hope... then snatched it away.
We knew her child was ours. We knew. It had be – mine and Sam's. Sam was mine. Mine. Not his. Never his. Internally shaking my head, I pushed my shadows primal possessive thoughts away, not wanting them to invade my mind and cloud my judgement. The last time I allowed my possessiveness to show was four years ago when I hit Daniel for showing compassion to my Carter. Damn. Just Carter. Mine! The thought rocketed through my mind unbidden once again. He is trying to take my Sam from me!
"What?" I barked, unable to stop the derision in my voice. Swallowing heavily, I breathed and recited my F-5 pre-flight checks to re-establish control and calm myself.
"Sorry Jack. She asked me to not tell you." Daniel added with a frown. "She didn't want what we had to jeopardise her position on SG-1." He said, giving me his 'just go with it' look while I stared back, projecting my anger despite knowing that he trying to protect me, us. The both of us. So why did every fibre of my being want to fight and rail against him, to demand that he take it back and shout that her baby was mine? More than that, a part of me wanted to find her and stake my claim in the way that no one could dispute, regulations be damned. Oh hell! I had to get a handle on that or what Daniel was doing would be all for naught.
The pain in my chest amplified, but I wasn't sure if that was from the aftermath of the intar or the fact that my child would be known as Jackson and not O'Neill. That my baby would be acknowledged by another man to save the career of the woman who carried that baby. The woman I loved with the depths of my soul. I could feel my shadow fighting to break free, to finish what he started with the shirt collar. To chase MacKenzie down, to find my Samantha and make her mine. Christ! Breathe O'Neill.
The familiar clack clack of Air Force uniform heels approaching the room pulled me out of my dangerous thoughts. Looking up as Janet breezed into the room, I smirked and waited for the inevitable round of check-ups and needles which generally followed in her wake. Instead, she walked over to Daniel and checked his neck, their low murmurs unable to be heard by me.
"You can go." She told him with a flick of her eyes to me, "Unless…"
"I'll be fine." He replied quickly, squeezing her hand. She reached up and pulled the curtain announcing that he should get dressed, then walked out and around to my bed giving me a stink eye of monumental proportions as she plonked a clean set of BDU's on the end of my bed.
"Colonel. You are also free to go. The muscle spasms and pain caused by the intar will be better treated by getting your muscles moving. I suggest you visit the gym then have a hot shower. You should be fine by the end of the day." She stated loudly while making notes. "Your routine medical is due, so I expect you to return here once you are feeling better." She ordered, then pulled my curtain. I sighed my disapproval before easing myself out of bed carefully with a harsh wince, I turned around expecting to find her gone. Instead, she was still standing there.
"Ah Doc?" I motioned to my clothes she had provided hoping she would get the message that I didn't want to unnecessarily expose myself to her.
"I hope you know what Daniel is trying to do for you two. Believe me I wasn't impressed when he told me how far this could go." She said, her foot tapping, and arms crossed. Clearly, she wasn't fazed, so I started the process of removing my scrubs wincing at every movement. "Daniel is your friend and you tried to kill him."
"Look Janet, I'm sorry. I… wasn't myself." I tried to explain while I slipped my feet into my boots and sighed at the monumental task ahead of me.
"Oh, I think you were, Colonel." She replied, taking pity on me, and crouching down to double tie the laces of my boots. I nodded my thanks when she stood again. "All I can say is you better get it under control, because this is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better." Then she spun on her heel and stormed out of the room, leaving my curtain half drawn. Reaching up, I tried to draw it open further but flinched when a spasm shot through my body. How on Earth the Doc expected me to pull a gym session like this was beyond me. Unfortunately, I had nothing better to do other than pacing, fretting, and stopping myself from breaking down the doors at the Academy hospital.
Twenty minutes later, I was making my way to the gym still in my BDU's, after trying and failing to even untie my combat boots. Not that me working out in my BDU's was out of the ordinary, generally using the added resistance and weight of the material to my advantage. Unfortunately, this time running in full kit was not option, especially since Hammond had demanded that our newest treadmill not be run into the ground before the end of the budget year.
Starting with my stretching, a process which took twice as long when I had to stop constantly, I managed half of my standard rotation of push ups before I tumbled sideways and laid on the floor intent on trying something a little more simple like a few crunches. Simple. Yeah right. Closing my eyes, I breathed through the pain once again.
"Need a spotter?" A familiar voice said from above and behind me. Craning my neck until I was looking at an upside-down Daniel, my eyes falling on his neck, his frontal position giving me a better view of what I had done.
"You sure you want to be near me?" I asked as I looked back to the ceiling.
"Wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be near you." He commented. I could hear the smirk in his tone. Why on Earth he put up with the crap I gave him was beyond me. "It's called being friends, Jack." He added making me look up toward him again. This time he smiled and walked around to stand in front of me.
"C'mon." He said with an outstretched hand. I looked between him and his hand for a few seconds before huffing and reaching out. His hand enclosed around mine and hauled me up to my feet making my chest and arm erupt, though not as bad as in the infirmary.
"Easy, Space Monkey. Old shot-up man here." I groused as I shook out my tingling arm while my shoulder spasmed uncontrollably. "Remind me never to get shot by one of those again… scratch that… remind me never to get shot." I complained, stretching out my fingers and forming a fist several times to help dispel the discomfort. He merely smiled at my grousing.
"Listen, I'm sorry for… that. I know what you're doing. I don't like it… but thank you." I murmured to my best friend. I wanted to look at him, but my eyes could not make it past the damage. Closing my eyes, I willed desire to finish the job back down into the depths of my psyche. I would not let that part of me take control. "She's ours Jack. Ours. Mine. He's trying to take her from us." He railed in my mind. "He's not!" I bit off without realising my words were out loud.
"Jack?" Daniel said, looking a little concerned. His hand was on my shoulder, but I didn't remember him putting it there. I was losing it. My eyes made their way back to his neck and I felt the unmistakable urge to lay him out on the floor surging beneath my skin. It would be so easy. So easy to crush his larynx and leave him gasping. He'd never see it coming. Then Samantha would be mine.
Looking away quickly lest I succumb further, I swallowed hard. "Sorry. I-I can't do this Daniel. I am not safe to be around right now." I told him honestly, looking again at the red mark. My fingers curled into fists to stop from wrapping them around his throat.
"Now, Jack. You're fine. You're…"
"No, Daniel. You don't understand. I want to… finish... I want to…" I faltered, unable to say the words, while looking at the bruising. Wrap my hands around your neck and squeeze until your face is red and your eyes are bulging, then twist until the delicate bones snap. "I have to go." I burst out, then turned and ran from the room as fast as my aching body allowed. As much as I wanted to go back to my quarters, I knew there would be nothing stopping me from hunting my friend down if my inner demon managed to wrest control. No. I needed the infirmary or the brig. As I rounded the corner into the corridor, I saw General Hammond thundering toward me.
"Colonel, with me." He ground out, passing me in a flurry of motion. "You two, with me." He ordered two security personnel who maintained a presence on level 21. Whatever was going on, it was serious. Jogging to catch up as we headed toward the medical labs, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the 'whole lot worse before it got better' that Janet was talking about.
