Closing argument

After her goodbyes to the partners, Donna shot him a piercing look and Harvey stood quickly. As he started making his way outside, he heard Louis's voice yelling his name and pointing at Donna's coat, left unattended on the back of a chair.

"I'll make sure she gets it," he added, turning around.

"Harvey," this time it was Jessica that stopped him. "Don't screw this up!" she advised, and he could see the threat in Louis's eyes as well.

"Goodnight," he added bleakley, hurrying after her.

"Wait!" Harvey shouted, but she didn't slow down until they were far from the entrance, Harvey trailing behind. "Why are you running?" He questioned, trying to catch his breath. "What was that look for?"

Donna scoffed, crossing her arms. "You don't know? Seriously?"

"What the hell happened?" He asked as he waved to Ray on the corner.

"You know what? Forget it. I'm so tired of explaining things to you," she rebutted, frustration rising. Her feet were numb with pain and she still felt a little drunk, not having the emotional disposition to fight him. "I'm going home. I'll see you on Monday."

"All I know is that one minute we were dancing and the next you're mad," he said, throwing his arms up in frustration while she went through the apps on her phone trying to find a ride. "I'll take you home, Ray is here."

"I can get an uber, Harvey!" she said, shivering.

"In Jersey? To take you to Manhattan at 3 am? Just get in the car, Donna."

She quickly realized she had no options, and she was cold, exhausted and angry, the backseat of the car sounding like heaven if it weren't for him.

She attempted to reach for her coat but he held onto it, forcing her to accept the help to put it on and then opening the car door, extending his arm signaling for her to get in.

"This isn't over!" She said as she slid to the right side and he only nodded.

"You were fine when we were dancing, what the hell happened?" he continued to ask, bewildered.

Ray gently turned up the music, prompting her to apologize for his tone of voice.

"It's no problem, Ms. Paulsen. Pretend I'm not here and...do your thing," he chimed in, to Harvey's interference.

"You do know I am the one who pays your salary, right?"

Ray scoffed.

"No offense, boss, it's your money, but I know who actually pays me," a smart remark with undeniable truth.

Donna turned her face to stare out the window and secretly grinned, happy to take a small victory.

"Will you just drive?" Harvey hissed for lack of a better argument.

"I wasn't fine, Harvey," she interrupted, annoyed, "but I wasn't going to run away from my best friend's wedding!"

"Is that why you blew me off after we danced?" Because of whatever I did?" he guessed.

"Yes, but you moved away from me quite quickly as well," Donna added, confused with her own words and feelings after the dance.

"So you wanted me to stay near you but not with you? Did I get that right, now?

She let out a breath, sinking a bit further on the leather seat, emotions swaying.

"Are you going to tell me what I said that you didn't like?" he insisted with a quieter tone and she just shook her head.

Harvey took the loss

He recognized Ray had decided to take the Holland tunnel, probably the fastest choice even at this hour, and didn't mind missing the view you get if you choose the George Washington bridge to cross the Hudson river. He grew anxious as their time together was ending, sure she was going to jump off the car as soon as Ray approached her building and he would waste his chance. Tonight had been the closest they had been since...since before the kiss and he knew he had at least made a dent on the wall she had built between them. It was his fault, she was protecting herself against him, and he couldn't bear the idea of her staying mad for the whole weekend, or for God knows how many days. Running out of ideas to make her believe how he felt, he was growing hopeless she ever would.

Noticing she had closed her eyes as the bright white tunnel lights flashed through the car window, nothing but dirty walls on both sides, as they crossed the line that marks the New Jersey, New York state division, he quickly placed his hand on top of her left hand that rested on the leather seat.

She didn't pull away, couldn't help how weak she felt just at his touch.

" I moved away from you because you don't…" he stopped himself before speaking his mind.

"I don't what?" she pressed, turning her head and looking back at him.

"You don't want people to talk about us...about you, so I'd hate to see you more upset over goddamn gossip!" he whispered, and she looked away again.

One thing he had never failed to do was protect her. No matter what, when or how.

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before you pulled that ridiculous stunt with Mike!" she hissed, but he could see her lips turn upward ever so slightly.

Harvey chuckled. "You liked it," he teased her, and even though she didn't look at him for the rest of the ride, her hand remained under his.

Ray pulled over in front of her apartment, turning the hazard signal on.

"Thank you, Ray," she said as she collected her shoes and clutch, the flowers on her lap. "Say hi to Marissa for me."

"Will do," he nodded.

Harvey swiftly got out of the car and went around to open the door for her. While she took a minute to put her shoes back on, given the hour and feeling the tiredness on his eyes, Ray dared to ask. "Mr. Specter, should I wait here?"

Harvey looked for a sign from her, but she eyed him, silently. Screw it, he thought. "No."

To Harvey's dismay, the driver directed his next question to her, looking for confirmation: "Ms. Paulsen?"

Donna hesitated for a moment. "It's fine, Ray. Go home to your wife. He'll walk," leading the driver to put the car in gear as she closed the door.

"Unbelievable!" Harvey yelled as Ray pulled away, following her inside the building. The whole way to the elevator she shook her head, convincing herself this was a terrible idea.

The effect of the alcohol wasn't strong enough anymore to slow down her heartbeat. Her hands started sweating in anticipation of the fact that he was too close and that she was far from feeling in control.

"I didn't even say you could come up," she fought him, the noise from the elevator finally announcing her floor. She quickly walked out ahead of him.

He thought of adding that she hadn't exactly said otherwise, but felt she'd yell at him for lawyering her.

"Just tell me what it was so I can apologize. Please. Then I'll leave," he pleaded, eyes on hers as he chased her to her door.

Before she was even past the kitchen, Donna couldn't hold her agony. Her response came with the bouquet of flowers hitting his chest, a few petals falling on the floor.

"This! You can't joke like that!" her voice faltered, and he stood there holding the souvenir, taking a second or three to understand. Then it hit him, his dance floor words that backfired, how terrible he was at declaring his feelings even when he tried humor for romance.

Shit.

"Donna I...I wasn't joking..." and there he was, pursuing her for what felt like the 12th time after the kiss.

She kept walking with large, quick steps, Harvey following right behind her, as she went inside her bedroom and didn't hold the door, which almost hit him in the face.

"You can't be serious!"

She switched her heels for slippers and pulled her hair up on a bun, grabbing a wipe to clean her makeup and pat away initial tears. He continued to yell from her bedroom door.

"What do I have to say or do for you to believe me?" he walked away then, pulling his bow tie off and throwing it on the couch, jacket following. "How long is it gonna take?"

"How about you try for another 13 goddamn years?" she was back in the living room, her anger and frustration exploding at his question.

"See, that's not fair, because you're acting like you knew what you wanted all this time, when it was your goddamn rule in the first place!" Harvey scolded her, loosening the top buttons on his shirt.

The argument wasn't the only heated thing going on. "Why is it 100 degrees in this place?" Harvey thought.

She walked to him, finger pointing at his reddish face. "There was a reason for that rule and you know it!"

His eyes went straight to her lips and the cleavage on the dress she still wore, he couldn't fight back anymore, thought solely of kissing her, her mouth slightly opened as her breath picked up the pace, a single drop of sweat running down her chest til the darkness covered by fabric. He leaned in and at the last second she pulled back. "Don't."

That was it. He wouldn't lose. He didn't know how. Harvey closed his eyes tightly, feeling the heaviness on his chest, a feeling too familiar to him. He pushed himself further. It was now or never, she was the hardest judge he'd have to convince, but the only one that mattered.

"Donna, you're the one who is going to decide If I stay or leave tonight, tomorrow and any of the other nights ahead of us. So you need to let me do this. Let me argue my case."

"Harvey this isn't a courtroom!" She answered, looking down, still recovering from their almost kiss. "Just leave."

"Objection!" He added, standing tall in her living room. Harvey Specter, the best closer in the city, was ready to bring home another win. "I'm not leaving until I argue my case!"

She scoffed at his determination and not believing her next words, but feeling her mouth still dry, she added "Proceed."

"Look, I don't need to tell you how bad I am at talking about my feelings, but what I'm about to say to you is long overdue. So I am going to say it the way I know how," he took a step towards her, making sure he got within her gaze again.

"I made my name in this city by winning. And to win I spent the last two decades finding loopholes in the law, bending and even breaking rules whenever it suits me. I made senior partner, name partner and now managing partner because of two things: respect and loyalty. You know how much I value those things."

"Get to your point, counselor, it's 4:30 am and your time here is limited," she shot back.

Harvey continued, not missing a beat despite her hostility. " You've been the most valuable witness all these years, that's what I meant to say. You have been there for me and with me through it all. The truth is I never would have handled any of it if it weren't for you. You never lacked respect and loyalty for me. You never truly faltered me. And that taught me how to feel the same way for you. I respect you and I am loyal to you the most."

He paused as she looked away, tears finally brushing her face, both their characters falling through as Harvey took another step forward, making her straighten her back against the wall.

"But there is one rule I never broke. Your rule. The one that you set. And trust me, Donna, I wanted to. I thought about breaking that rule every time I came back to the office after a win and you were there, smiling, ready to greet me and to celebrate with me and all I wanted was to show you how much more meaningful everything was simply because you were…there."

Donna brought one hand to her chest, almost as if to hold her heart in place. Seeing how she looked too fragile, Harvey took her other hand in his.

"I thought about breaking that rule almost every goddamn day. But I wasn't going to, because I respected you, but mostly, Donna, because I couldn't fathom the possibility that it would mean not having everything."

She pulled her hand back quickly and stared at him, a swerve of anger rising back.

"Because you wouldn't risk it, right? Wouldn't risk losing your secretary?"

"No! Just listen!" he said, grabbing her shoulders. "You were wrong when you said I had everything! I didn't! It wasn't my secretary or my career I didn't want to risk losing...it was us!"

His own voice faltered at the last three words and Donna thought she could feel heart crumble.

"I spent the last 13 years trying to forget the other time. 13 years. And I failed, because I remember every minute from the moment I walked through that same door, I remember every freckle under that dress," his hands slid down her arms, "... and how you...how you taste and how you feel…" he added, mouth dry with desire.

Harvey let out a shaky breath, memories and lust blurring his mind, but he couldn't stop now. "So frankly, I decided I didn't have another decade worth of heartache in me if I chose to make a move and break the rule. I wouldn't handle having to get over you again. It was better to have my friend there, my witness, my partner, to have you there, then to not have you at all. So I failed you, I failed you and hurt you when I thought I was respecting you and I'm so very sorry for that. I didn't know, as stupid as it sounds, I was never sure you wanted me to make a move, not when you asked for more, not when I said I loved you, but I... I was terrified, Donna. So I backed down and ran like the first time, and made terrible mistakes over these past few months, but it's all because ...because I need you to be my everything, Donna. I can't risk... us. I can't try. I can't take a chance on us."

At his last words, her heart sank. "What?" She barely managed to say. Swallowing hard, she whispered, confused. "So you don't...you don't want me...us?"

Harvey smiled at her worried look. He quickly bent down and picked up a flower petal from the floor, putting it on her hand and closing it tight.

"There's nothing I want more than you. Than us. But I need us to work. I need certainty."

Donna let out a loud sob as her legs gave out, making her almost slide down the wall, a cry that had been about to burst for over a decade. She understood his wedding joke. Suddenly it wasn't funny nor ironic. Harvey held her and took a minute to recover, his own lips quivering as she closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest, letting him whisper his words as he struggled to continue.

"Then you kissed me. Your kiss brought me to the edge. You brought me to stare right at the rule again, to stand right at the line we swore not to cross and you kissed me... and that, that unraveled me, Donna. And now I ask you to hold my hand and cross that line with me. Guide me through the other side of our relationship because I want you, Donna. I want us. It has always been you," Harvey placed his hands on her face as he whispered. "...this is the one case I refuse to lose, Donna. So we go oh and everything now because I will absolutely not lose you."

Donna let out a shaky breath as she finally opened her eyes, staring right into his. She pulled him closer by his shirt, letting her forehead rest on his. Harvey took in her scent, the perfume he loved still there hours after the wedding.

"I guess I know now," Donna said, lips brushing against his wet cheek.

Harvey brushes his lips against the corner of her mouth and she felt her body quiver, weak from his touch as her breaths became shorter and faster at the anticipation of the moment to follow.

"That was one hell of a closing argument," she whispered, mouth slightly open hovering over his.

"Good. Because I wasn't going to sleep on that couch again," he said, nipping her bottom lip, hands slowly pulling up her dress.

"Looks like another win for you," she added without taking her eyes from his.

"For us," he corrected her.

In a quick move, Harvey picked up her legs as she straddled him, pushing her inside the room to fall into bed with the same passion of years ago.

"Harvey?" She said, panting.

"Yeah?" He barely managed to say, teeth pulling on the strap of her black dress.

She took one hand holding his hair and the other on his cheek, forcing him to stare at her.

" I don't give out "yes" as a certain answer too often. Not when it comes to my heart. Never did before. But you just got a resounding yes as an answer. Because I heard you. And I, too, need certainty."

He swallowed at the sudden sobriety that hit him, the meaning of her words, hearing his words said in return to him. He noticed she took a deep breath.

"Am I clear?" She said, "I'm all in."

He stopped for a moment, slightly on top of her, and as their eyes locked again he tilted his head and leaned in, kissing her deeply, closing any remaining distance between them.