Chapter 4: Hop 'til You Drop

Dear Ivy,

Even after our trip to the market yesterday, Anne's been reluctant to let us leave the house without her supervision. Granted, there's still a lot about this world we don't understand, but isn't that how you learn? By getting out there and exploring and doing? Okay, so one of those things I explored happened to be a machine that can rip wood to shreds, and I almost wound up learning exactly how it works in the most deadly way possible.

Actually, I think that last thing may have pushed Anne to her breaking point. Between Hop Pop getting taken in by scammers, Polly getting into fights with the local kids, and the lingering mental trauma that she thinks I don't know about, she's had a lot to deal with, and we haven't been making it easy.

But Ivy, it's so hard to resist! So many new things here to see and hear and touch!


Well, Anne really let us have it. She said she can't trust us to be on our ow in human society unless we can prove ourselves.

That's right… she has given us a QUEST!

She took us to what seemed, from the outside, to be some sort of temple. Only inside, well… it was as if someone took an entire city and placed it all inside a single building. Anne called it "The Maul" but it seemed pretty safe. Maybe they keep the bone-crushing monsters in a secret chamber underneath the building?

Now, you would assume that if our test was going to be at the Maul, it would involve some kind of ritual combat, but you'd be wrong. Each of us would have a specific task that was tailored to our person. And if we failed, Anne would see to it we would never again leave the house. And if we succeeded, she promised to take us out for frozen yogurt!

Polly had to go into a shop without getting into a fight with anyone, Hop Pop had to go through a gauntlet of kiosks without signing up for anything, and me? Anne took me to a sculpture gallery and forbade me from touching anything. Sounds easy, right?

Ivy, if only you could see the array of artwork on display! Each a veritable cornucopia of sensations!

[drawing of "Cactuar"]

In turns intriguing…

[drawing of clown]

Disturbing…

[drawing of flyswatter]

Appetizing…

[drawing of a certain top-hatted triangle]

Ominous…

[drawing of winged eyeball]

Even inspiring…

So many new colors, shapes, texture, right there for the touching. And all of it forbidden. But I had to control myself. Anne's trust was on the line. Also fro-yo!

But then I saw it. The ultimate masterpiece.

[sketch of the kinetic eyeball sculpture]

Now, this drawing this from memory, so I probably haven't captured its sheer magnificence. But Ivy! If only you could have seen it in all its glory! Knobs! Wheels! Buttons! Dangly bits!

Levers

Ivy, I am only one frog. And it was as if this creation had been sculpted by the hands of some malevolent god specifically to lure me, Sprig Cockleburr Plantar, astray from the path of righteousness.

And then I saw that, just for one moment, Anne had allowed herself to be distracted. Some other human, looked to be about her age. Possibly an old friend, eager to catch up with her after she'd been away so long. Who could say? Not me. It didn't matter. I had my chance. And I was going to make the most of it.

I touched. I feeled. I explored. But did I dare do it? Did I dare… pull a lever?

Well, when else was I going to get this chance? And so, I pulled it. Because levers are meant to be pulled!

But it was a lie. A cruel lie by a cruel god.

The whole sculpture collapsed and I found myself riding a runaway eyeball. Anne was right, my boundless curiosity is a curse! A curse that had finally come to claim me. I was going to hit a wall when Anne jumped up to grab me and rescue me from my grisly fate.

It turned out I wasn't the only one who had failed his task. Polly had wound up getting into a big fight with a mob of angry human tadpoles (did you know they're born with legs? How is that fair?) and Hop Pop… well, he said he'd been lured in by a fountain full of coppers, but some wizard had put a curse on its waters that turned his skin green (Anne said it's not really magic, it's just a chemical called kloreen that should wash off)

Well, we'd all failed, and so we were ready to be confined to the house once and for all, but then Anne admitted that she was wrong to "throw us into the deep end" which I'm guessing is some human metaphor for how bad they are at swimming. She said she would try to ease us into human society instead.

So no going back to quarantine, but no frozen yogurt either. We had to spend the rest of the night scrubbing all that kloreen off of Hop-Pop to get his skin back to normal. Not how I wanted to spend my evening!

Disappointedly Yours,

Sprig


A.N.: I Know you're out there, I got your follow notifications! Please review!

Sprig doesn't have a canonical middle name, so I decided to give him one.

Jose: Anne may have to have a frank conversation about fiction vs realty with him.

Next: Turning Point