AN: I can't believe we've actually reached the final chapter! There is an epilogue which I'll post on Friday, but this is the end of the main story. Hope you like it!
Thanks to WalkerTRngr for the beta help on this and all the other chapters!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to CSI
Chapter 16
A few minutes later, Grissom pushes himself up on an elbow and kisses her before pulling her along as he rolls onto his side. He slips out of her, leaving her feeling incredibly empty, for a brief moment, but then he pulls her closer.
"Playing dirty, huh?"
"You started it," Sara points out, still a little breathless, and he chuckles.
"Guilty as charged."
He slides a finger under her chin, tilting her head up for a kiss, and she's happy to oblige. When she feels his hand slide along her side, she pulls back far enough to be able to raise an eyebrow at him. "Already thinking of round two?"
"Probably not for a while, sorry," he replies with a half-smile, trailing his fingers across her ribs to encircle a nipple. "I just… don't want to stop touching you."
She moves a little closer, so they're pressed skin on skin. "So don't."
They trade lazy kisses, hands stroking and exploring, without any real purpose for she's not sure how long. Minutes, hours. Then Grissom groans and shifts a little, and she can feel that he's hardening against her thigh again.
"I thought you said not for a while," she teases, sliding a leg over his hip to pull herself closer.
"I'm pretty sure it's been a while," he throws back, trailing a hand down to the small of her back to hold her still before grinding his hips against her, making her gasp.
"OK, yeah, probably."
She slides her hand between them, wrapping her fingers around him lightly.
"Fuck, Sara."
"Mm-hmm."
She works him slowly, their eyes remaining locked together. When she shifts to position him, he pulls her in for a kiss and slowly eases inside her.
This time is slow an unhurried, at least at first. His hand trails down her back, finding her butt and squeezing lightly, and she slides her leg higher, digging her heel into his lower back.
He breaks the kiss to suck in some much needed oxygen, and Sara nudges him gently until he wraps an arm tightly around her and rolls onto his back. His hands find her hips as she shifts to get more comfortable, and they moan in unison at the new position which lets him get even deeper.
For a moment, they just stare at each other, both breathing heavily. Then she leans down, finds his mouth for a kiss, rolls her hips, and sets a slow but steady pace that has her toes curling with the intensity.
"I love when you take charge," Grissom groans when she breaks the kiss to straighten up, throw her head back, and pick up the pace a little.
She hums in agreement, eyes slamming closed when his thumb brushes over her clit. She covers his hand with hers, so he won't stop, her movements going uneven at the first telltale sign of her orgasm.
His hand slides up her back, pulling her down so he can take a nipple into his mouth, the pressure against her clit increasing at the same time, and again, she stumbles over the edge. She vaguely registers that he thrusts up into her once, twice, three times more and then stills, pulsing deep inside her even as her muscles are still contracting around him.
Her energy completely gone, Sara slumps down on top of him. They catch their breath together for a long moment, his hands running up and down her back.
The sound of a phone ringing pulls her out of the afterglow. "How long has that been going off?"
"Um… no idea."
"It's not mine," she decides after another ring.
"I guess it's mine, then."
"You're never on call, though, right?"
"Theoretically, I suppose they could try to call me in, but I can just say no, so there's no point." Grissom leans up to kiss her before gently nudging her and she moves off him so he can get up. "Don't go anywhere."
Collapsing onto her back, she lets out a breathless laugh. "So not happening any time soon."
He smirks at her over his shoulder as he pulls on his boxers again and disappears out the door. She closes her eyes as her breathing slowly returns to normal, the cool air of the bedroom chilly against the sweat drying on her skin.
She's just contemplating getting up to remove the bedspread and actually get into bed when steps on the stairs alert her to his return and Sara turns her head to the open door just as he appears there.
"Apparently, the sleepover has been cancelled for some reason – Sam wants me to pick her up."
"Oh, OK." She feels a little self-conscious in her nudity as she sits up, scanning the room for her clothes before remembering that most of them are spread throughout the house.
"What are you doing?"
"I figured I should probably not be here when she gets home, right?" she says with a shrug. "We did say we were going to keep this between us until we… knew what we were doing."
Grissom crosses the room and sinks to his knees in front of her. "I think we know what we're doing," he says quietly, eyes searching hers, and for a moment, the certainty is almost overwhelming.
"Yeah?"
He shrugs. "I do, anyway. If you need more time, that's fine, but… I want you in my life. In all parts of my life, not just… tucked away in the shadows. I want everyone to know."
She's smiling by the time he finishes. She could point out that most people do know – the only ones who don't are Sam and, as far as she knows, his mother. But it feels unnecessary – he knows, and he knows what he's saying. "OK, that all sounds… amazing. But I think I should probably still get dressed, and we should pick up the trail of clothing between here and the den before Sam gets home."
He pales a little at that. "Yeah, we should definitely do that. Thank God she called and didn't just get a ride home with another parent."
"Oh yeah."
He straightens up again. "I'll take care of the discarded clothing before I head out." He disappears into the walk-in closet and returns a moment later fully dressed, with a Williams t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants over one arm. "These are probably way too big on you, but they have a drawstring. Just… hang out. You said you wanted to wake up together – I want that too; this doesn't change that."
Sara kind of wants to ask if he's sure, but he must be, or he wouldn't ask. "OK."
He kisses her again and puts the clothes down on the bed. "OK, I'm going to go. Be back soon."
"OK."
He pauses by the door, though, and she's not sure why until he turns back to her, a smirk on his face and her panties dangling from one finger.
"Need these too?"
She rolls her eyes and manages to catch them when he tosses them over. "Go."
"Gone."
She waits until she hears the front door open and close before she pulls on the clothes – the pants are a little big, but they work when she tightens the drawstring, and the t-shirt is soft and smells faintly of him. She buries her nose in it for a moment, inhaling deeply.
Afraid that he might have forgotten their clothes, she goes downstairs to double check, but both the den and hallway are free of errant pieces of clothing. Satisfied that there's nothing to corrupt Sam's innocent mind, she curls up on the couch in the den, flipping through the channels until she finds a rerun of an old Full House episode.
It's only about ten minutes before the front door opens and closes again, and then Grissom's voice. "Sara?"
"Down here," she calls back, and a moment later, Sam comes barreling down the stairs.
If she's surprised to find Sara at the house at eleven at night, she doesn't show it – she just jumps on the couch next to her and curls into her side.
"Hey, kiddo, you OK?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at Grissom, who's appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He just shrugs to indicate he doesn't know, but he doesn't look worried, so she assumes Sam's not sick or anything.
"You want something to eat before bed, Sammie?"
She lifts her head from Sara's shoulder for a moment. "Pancakes?"
"Sure. You want some too?" The second part is directed at Sara, and she smiles.
"Why not?" It's been a while since they had dinner, and they did burn a lot of calories just now.
"Coming right up," he says, returning up the stairs.
Sara gives it a moment. "So, what happened at the sleepover, huh?" she asks, keeping her voice light. "You were really looking forward to it, right?"
Sam shrugs. "I guess."
"So, what happened?"
"It's stupid."
Sara bites back a smile. "Well, now I really want to know?"
Sam straightens up enough for Sara to see her roll her eyes. "Maddie and Kayla started fighting about a boy. And then Alex got mad and said they were ruining her sleepover, and then everyone kind of just wanted to go home."
"Huh. Who's the boy they were fighting about?"
"Josh. He's a grade above us at school."
She considers for a moment, but decides to push forward and save Grissom an awkward conversation she's pretty sure he's nowhere near ready for.
"And… do you like Josh too?"
"Ew, no!" Sam wrinkles her nose. "Boys are gross!"
Well, that's a relief. "Gross, huh?"
Sam frowns at her. "I mean… I think they're gross. You don't have to. You… like boys, right?"
"Um, yeah?" She's not sure about this turn in the conversation.
"Like… you like my dad?" Sam's not looking at her anymore, seemingly intently focused on the TV, which tells Sara that this is actually a very important conversation. "I mean, like him like him?"
It feels disturbingly like being back in middle school, but it's technically true.
"I do, yeah. Is that… OK?"
"Yeah." The lack of hesitation makes her smile. "He likes you too. Like, likes you likes you. A lot."
It's not like she needed the confirmation. Hell, he told her he loved her just a few hours ago, and then spent a good amount of time proving it to her. But it's still kind of nice to have outside confirmation. Even if it is from a precocious nine-year-old.
"Really?"
That, apparently, earns another eyeroll. "Duh. But… you don't just like Dad, right?"
"How do you mean?"
"You like me too, right?" Sam asks, voice small, and Sara instinctively hugs her closer.
"Of course I do! I don't want you to ever doubt that, OK?"
"OK."
She doesn't say anything else, but Sara has a feeling there's more. "Is there something else you're worried about?" she asks after a moment, running her fingers through Sam's hair. She remembers the conversation she overheard between Sam and Maddie a few months ago – she had sounded so unconcerned about a potential relationship between Sara and her dad, but maybe she's had a change of heart since then.
"Maybe…"
"What? You can talk to me about anything, OK?"
"OK."
She goes silent again, but Sara waits, and soon enough, she continues.
"When Mom and I lived in Springfield, I had a friend called Mackenzie. She didn't have a mom, I don't know what happened to her, so she lived with her dad." Sam lets out a giggle. "She really liked my mom, she said that since I only had a mom and she only had a dad, it was kind of like we were a family all four of us, and we were sisters. But then her dad got married, and at first, her stepmom was, like, really nice. But then they had a baby, and she didn't care about Mackenzie anymore, and her dad didn't either."
Sara considers for a moment. She's sure the situation wasn't as black and white as that – getting a new stepparent and a sibling that demands some of the attention you're used to getting can be a very confusing situation for a child. But the memory of that, and the worry, is real for Sam.
"And you're worried that if your dad and I get married and have a baby, that we won't care about you?"
Sam just shrugs.
Why did she think she could handle this? She's not good with kids.
The girl curled into her side kind of contradicts that conviction, though, and it's not like she has to be good with all kids. Just Sam.
"So, I know you're not just going to stop worrying about this because I tell you that we would never stop caring about you," she starts, figuring out the words as she goes. "But I'm still going to do that – your dad loves you, and I… I love you, and that is never, ever going to change. If we decide that we want to have a baby, which I really don't think we will, then we'll talk to you about it, OK? And sure, a baby would need a lot of attention, but that wouldn't mean we care less about you. Understand?"
"Yeah."
She leans her cheek against the top of Sam's head, letting out a breath. "And if either of us ever make you feel like we're not paying attention to you – baby or no baby – I want you to talk to us, OK? Actually, anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or upsets you, I want you to talk to one of us. Can you promise to do that?"
"I promise."
"Good. Are you feeling better about… everything?"
"Yeah." A pause. "And… if you wanted to have a baby, I guess that would be OK. They're kind of cute. As long as I don't have to share my room."
"I will keep that in mind. And I promise we would talk to you about that before anything happened, OK?"
"OK."
Sam lets out a sigh, relaxing further against her side, and Sara takes that to mean the conversation is over.
At least for Sam. Sara's going to be running over it in her head for a while, and probably talk to Grissom about it.
They watch the antics on the screen for a while, until Grissom calls down the stairs that the pancakes are ready.
Sam gets off the couch a little sluggishly, and Sara guides her towards the stairs with two hands on her shoulders. "Come on, let's eat some pancakes and then I think it's time for some sleep, huh?"
"Mmm. Are you sleeping over?"
She hesitates. "If that's OK with you."
"Uh-huh. I like it when you're here. And Hank."
"OK, then I'll stay. And maybe you can go with me to pick him up from the sitter tomorrow."
"Good."
Grissom's got everything set up at the dining table, a large stack of pancakes and a bottle of syrup in the middle of the table. He looks up at the sound of their footsteps, smiling softly at his daughter.
"You sure you don't want to just go to bed, sweetie?"
Sam hums a little non-committedly and slides into a chair. "I want pancakes."
"OK."
He puts a pancake on her plate and pushes the syrup over, and she douses the pancake before cutting off a piece and popping it in her mouth.
She only finishes about half of it before she props her chin in her hand and seems to almost fall asleep sitting up.
"Come on, kiddo," Sara rubs her back. "Go on up to bed, we can have the rest of these in the morning."
"Mmm." Sam shuffles to her feat and, to Sara's surprise, wraps her arms around her neck. "I'm glad you're here."
She quickly hugs the girl back, maybe a little too tight for a moment. "Me too. Bed."
"Night, Daddy."
With that, Sam wanders off towards the stairs.
"Goodnight, sweetheart."
They both watch the girl until she disappears from view, and then Grissom turns to her with a curious look. "What was that all about?"
Sara shrugs. "We had a bit of a… heart to heart, I guess?"
"Oh."
"I asked what happened at the sleepover and the conversation… evolved," she offers, not quite sure how to explain how they got from 'do you like a boy' to 'it's OK if you want to have a baby with my dad'.
"Anything I need to know about?" he asks before taking another bite of his pancake.
"I don't think so. There was some… pre-teen drama, two of the girls were fighting about a boy and it made everyone uncomfortable, I guess," she explains.
Grissom freezes, fork halfway to his mouth. "A… boy?"
She hides her smile behind her glass. "A boy," she confirms. "Apparently, Maddie and Kayla like the same boy."
He seems to contemplate that for a moment, chewing in silence.
"And Sam…"
"Don't worry – boys are gross," Sara tells him, smiling at the relief that's immediately evident on his face.
"They are?"
"Well, to Sam, anyway," she amends. "I figured you might like to know that."
"It is a relief," he admits. "I mean, I know she's… there will come a time when I have to deal with boyfriends and all of that, but… she's nine."
"Yeah, I think you still have a while to prepare for that."
"Thank God." Grissom pauses, frowns down at his plate for a moment. "How does that relate to her being glad that you're here? I mean, I know she loves it whenever you come over, but I don't follow the train of conversation there."
She sighs. "Yeah, that was a bit of a twist for me to. After she had established that boys were gross, she sort of… backtracked and said that I didn't need to think that just because she did, and then she asked if I liked you."
He chokes a little on the water he just sipped. "She asked that?"
"Yup. And when I said that I did, she proceeded to tell me that you liked me to. Liked me liked me. A lot." She smirks at him a little. "So, you probably haven't been as discreet as you maybe thought."
He huffs. "Well, that's disconcerting. I mean, I wasn't trying to hide anything from you, but I did think I was a little more inconspicuous around Sam."
"Apparently not." Sara tries to bite back a smile, but it's no use. "I'm pretty sure she's fine with the whole thing, though, so that's good, right?"
He returns her smile. "That's great."
"I thought so too…" She hesitates for a moment, but it's just as well to get everything out on the table now. "She also wanted to make sure I liked her as well, not just you."
"She knows you love her," he immediately says.
"I think so, yeah, but… well, I don't know how much you know about her friends back in Springfield, before…?"
Grissom frowns a little. "Not that much," he then admits.
"Well, apparently, she had a friend back there, Mackenzie, who… she was raised by a single dad, and then when he got married and had a baby with his new wife, Mackenzie felt like they stopped caring about her." She shrugs. "I'm sure it wasn't that simple, but, well, to a five-year-old, or however old she was, I guess I can see how it might appear that way."
"I recognize the name, I think Sam's talked about her a few times," he muses. "I'm not… what was the point of that conversation?"
Sara considers for a moment but decides that she can probably pull his leg. A little. "I guess she wanted to make sure that we will still care about her if we get married and have a baby."
She can practically see the thoughts running through his mind, has to bite her lip to not laugh at the way he opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, and then finally blinks at her for a long moment.
"Gil?" she says after a few minutes, taking pity on him.
"Huh?"
"Relax. I can practically see you trying to come up with a way to tell me that's not happening."
Grissom shakes his head a little, as if to clear it. "No, that's… I wasn't going to say that. I was just… is that something you would want?"
It's her turn to freeze and do an impression of a goldfish. "I… what?"
He pushes himself up out of the chair and gathers their dishes, puts them in the dishwasher and then wraps the leftover pancakes in some aluminum foil before putting the plate in the fridge. When he returns to the table, he claims the chair next to hers and turns it to face her, reaching for her hand.
"I never really thought about children. No, that's not true – growing up, I assumed I'd get married and have a couple of kids, I think most people do. At some point, I guess I… didn't give up on it, because it wasn't something I thought about much or even actively wanted, but… I figured it wasn't in the cards for me. And I was fine with that." He pauses, smiles and squeezes her hand. "And then I met you. And you were so young, and I figured you would probably want a baby, and I… I thought I could do that. If it was what you wanted. But then I…"
"Took forever to actually do something about it?" Sara asks when he trails off.
"Basically," he says with a huff. "And I didn't… I thought you might still be interested in… that, but I figured you'd bring it up if you were. And you never did, so I didn't either, and then… then there was Sam."
"And you realized kids weren't so bad after all?"
"Something like that," he agrees. "So, if kids is something you want, then I am open to that."
She can tell that he means it, and it's… honestly, it's everything. Not the actual issue at hand, but the fact that he would want that, with her.
"You want me to be honest?" she asks, and Grissom nods. "Unlike you, I never wanted kids. Growing up… well, before my father died and I went into foster care, I was just… I knew I would never want to put a child in a situation like that. And foster care didn't exactly help. I know a lot of women say that they don't want kids and then end up changing their minds, and maybe I will, but for now… I'm good. I'm really good with it just being you and me and Sam. I know she's not mine, but I don't need that."
He scrutinizes her closely for a long moment. "Are you sure?"
"For now – yes. But… how about this – if my biological clock for some reason starts ticking, and I don't think it will, but if it does, I will let you know, OK?"
"OK."
"And if…" Sara hesitates, tries to find the right words. "If you decide that you want that, it's not just up to me, OK? I'm not… completely against the idea. If one of us wakes up one day and realizes we want to have a baby, it needs to be a conversation."
He's nodding before she even finishes. "Yeah, that sounds good. Just… honesty."
"A pretty good starting point for most things in any relationship," she points out with a smile.
"Yeah."
Serious conversation over, Grissom slumps back a little in his chair.
"I bet you weren't expecting this when you said you wanted to take me out to dinner tonight," she teases, making him laugh.
"No, definitely not. It's been a couple of… intense hours."
Sara can't help but snort at the massive understatement.
"You could say that."
"So, I propose we do as Sam, and go to bed," he says, thumb rubbing against the back of her hand.
"Yeah, that sounds perfect."
And it is. They'll climb the stairs together, and maybe she'll borrow his toothbrush or maybe he'll have a spare one for her. Maybe they'll tire each other out a bit more before finally drifting off to sleep, keeping their moans low to avoid waking the girl sleeping a few doors down, or maybe they'll just curl up under the covers.
And in the morning, there will be breakfast with Sam, and more lounging on the couch. Sara has work in the evening, but that's OK too, because she'll get to come home to them after. To the only guy she's ever really loved, and to a pretty amazing kid who seems to really like her.
So yeah, it's pretty perfect…
