Trigger Warnings:

Panic attacks

Ginny woke up feeling more refreshed than she had in months. She stumbled out of the bedroom still bleary eyed to see Bill chilling out on the sofa. He greets her warmly and gets up to make a cup of tea. She follows him to the kitchen side and plonks herself down at the breakfast bar with a yawn.

"Everyone knows where the breakfast hall is. They can eat without us" he says gently, placing the tea in front of her.

"I'll knock up some breakfast, bacon and sausages?" He asks.

Ginny shakes her head feeling a little green. She still couldn't manage to eat any meat, the thought just made her feel ill. Bill offered her toast and eggs instead and she gladly accepted.

She supposes that it's obvious that she hadn't been eating much. Bill was always so sensitive to others but it still surprises her when he puts a bowl of scrambled eggs and a rack of toast in the centre of the table so that they can each help themselves. It's always more manageable when she can control how much she puts on her plate. Ginny gets through a couple of slices of toast and a couple of spoons of eggs and Bill polishes off the rest without a word about her eating habits. He just seemed happy to see her eat something.

Once the tea has been drained he tells her that he... spoke, to Mum and Dad last night. She freezes. A flicker of concern flashes in his eyes as he reassures her that he didn't share any personal details with them. He just made it clear that any adult would have succumbed to the diary and that it was incredible that she had survived as long as she did. That they should be proud not scornful of her behaviour. He admitted that he had berated them for not looking after her better, especially over the summer. She needed real care and love, not to be shouted at and left in her room for days on end. Tears pricked her eyes and he leant over to put a hand on her arm.

"You're safe now, Gin. We will overcome this together, ok?"

She nodded.

"Tonight, I need you to tell me a little more about what happened and how things are with you so that I can help you get better. We will figure something out, I promise".

Ginny nodded, she trusted him.

Sadly, Bill needed to leave to spend time with the rest of the family and show them around. He understood that she needed space and had offered her to stay in his room for the day. He pointed out some books that she may be interested in and where the writing supplies were if she wanted to make note or write to her friends. He also let her know that his cold cupboard was stocked with food if she got hungry. Bill also handed Ginny her wand. Her eyes lit up.

"I didn't bother asking, I just took it. A witch should never be without her wand".

Ginny thanked him profusely. Bill kissed her on the forehead and said he would be back for dinner.

Ginny wandered round Bill's quarters feeling... free. She started by taking a long shower and then pulled on one of his oversized t-shirts with a muggle band logo that she didn't recognise. She hadn't written to Luna or Colin all summer and she suspected that Mum had kept their letters from her. Tom told her that she was delusional, that Colin and Luna had thought she was a lost cause and stopped bothering. She told him to shut up and grabbed the writing materials.

Luna and Colin,

Sorry I haven't written.

I haven't had any letters so I don't know if you sent one. I wouldn't be surprised if my family hid them from me. They haven't been great.

I'm in Egypt now, with Bill. Things are better.

It's hard to explain how my summer has been going in a letter. There's too much to say but somehow not enough to say. I guess we will catch-up on the train.

I hope you're both ok.

Ginny

After the letter was duplicated and sealed she picked a few interesting books and settled down on the sofa to read. It wasn't long until her eyes grew heavy and she drifted off to sleep not used to doing more than laying down all day.

Ginny was woken by Bill returning for the evening.

"Evening sleepy head" he said with a slight laugh in his voice as Ginny lifted her head up from where it had been resting on the arm.

"I expect it's been a busy couple days for you, huh?" He added more softly lowering himself onto the sofa and putting his arm around her.

Ginny yawned and leant into his side. She felt warm and safe. He hugged her closer.

"Let's have some dinner and then, if you feel up to it, you can tell me a bit more about the diary, ok?".

Ginny nodded, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

Bill got up and Ginny shivered without his warmth. He threw a blanket over her and she snuggled back down and listed to him talk. He told her about the rice dish, Koshari, he was making for dinner and how the day had gone. Apparently the twins were already seeking ways to cause mischief and Mum was tense trying to prevent the inevitable. Ginny let the chatter wash over her as she ate. Bill's cooking was delicious and very different from the standard fayre at home.

Once plates were clear and washed, they settled back down on the sofa with a lit fire and mugs of hot chocolate. He told her to take her time and tell him anything she could about the diary, how it made her act and any after effects. Tom scoffed in her head.

"Maybe if the adults in Hogwarts were as sharp as this one things would have turned out better for you. Shame he'll forget about you once you go back to England" Tom said.

Ginny grit her teeth. "Shut up, Tom!".

Bill looked down at her in concern.

"Tom's still in my head" she admitted in a small voice.

Tom laughed "He's going to abandon you now, you know. You shouldn't have said anything".

Ginny shook her head but instead of pulling away Bill pulled her closer.

"I... I don't think..." Ginny stuttered out. How could she possibly begin to explain Tom to Bill? The other events were easier, but how could she explain just how fucked up she was?

Bill moved from the sofa to kneel in front of her putting his hands on her shoulders looking directly into her eyes. When had she started crying? She couldn't remember.

"If it's too hard to talk, there's another way. There's a kind of magic that lets another see into your memories".

Ginny raised her head to meet his gaze. That would be so much easier than trying to explain but it would mean that he would see... everything. No secrets. Nowhere to hide.

"How could you possibly consider that as an option? You already want me in your head and now you want someone else too?" Tom argued.

Ginny ignored him.

"It will be hard for me to control what I see so I could accidentally see things you don't want me to know".

Ginny's breath was shaky.

"It would be hard, Gin. I'm not going to lie. But I think you need to go through your old memories and come to terms with them. It might be easier to do it with me than on your own".

She was so scared. She had spent all summer blocking them out. She grudgingly admitted to herself that it did make sense, needing to come to terms with what had happened. She trusted Bill.

"You won't abandon me?" She asked in a small voice.

Bill pulled her into a hug. "Never".

After she had cried for a few minutes in his arms she wiped away her tears and sat back up.

"I'm ready".

Within a few minutes they were sat facing each other on the sofa. Her hand was in his, Bill said it was to remind her that he's with her both externally and internally.

"Legilimens" Bill whispered and the room faded away.

It was weird. A strange mixture of replaying the memory as if she was really there but also observing like a film she had no control over. She was bubbling with excitement as the family wandered through Diagon Alley to get her wand. She could almost feel the happiness. She spotted Harry and the memory changed. One of the messenger dwarfs had pinned him down and was singing the Valentines poem, she burned with shame. Then she was in the bathroom trying to destroy the diary. Then Harry had the diary and she was sneaking through the boys dorms stealing it back. Then she was in bed and the diary was calling her. She was trying to ignore it but it wouldn't stop. Please make it stop. She didn't want to write in it anymore. Tom was telling her that it was too late. That she belonged to him now. His voice echoed in her mind and she could barely think. Her breathing became rapid and panicked. Her body shook. Please no, please. No. No. No.

Then she was pulled out. She was in Bills arms as she cried and shook. He rubbed soothing circles on her back and whispered that she was ok.

"But you're not ok, are you Ginny? You never will be ok. Even now, you're still mine" Tom snarled.

"He's still here" she choked.

"So am I" Bill replied.

Ginny eventually cried herself out and fell asleep on the sofa leaning up against Bill. He summoned a blanket and some parchment and got to work.

Ginny woke a couple of times. The nightmares were more vivid than ever but this time she wasn't alone. Each time Bill told her stories of Egypt and the tombs until she drifted back to sleep.

She awoke properly to sun peeking through the curtains and Bill putting the final touches on breakfast. She went to get up and he shook his head.

"Breakfast in bed, well... sofa, this morning". he said with a grin.

He pulled the coffee table closer and put down the mug of tea and pushed a small bowl of eggs and toast into her hands. The little triangles of toast rested atop the eggs looking a bit like pyramids poking out the sand.

"Thank you" she yawned.

"I think Occlumency, the opposite of the spell we used last night might help. It helps you to calm your mind and get better control of your thoughts and memories. It also protects you from people trying to use the mind spell. We all have to learn the basics to help us keep calm under pressure in the tombs and I'm quite good even if I do say so myself" he said with a little bow and a wink.

Ginny couldn't help but giggle when he acted silly. It reminded her of when she was little and Bill and Charlie used to play Dragons, Knights and Maidens with her. Charlie was always the dragon, of course, and Bill was always the maiden acting very dramatically and pleading for her, the brave knight to come to his rescue.

"We can start it today. I just need to tell the others that they need to entertain themselves. You shouldn't be alone for long right now and you don't need to spend time with the others".

Bill left her to finish her breakfast while he went to let the rest of the family know about their change of plans.

Bill said that they would start after she had a shower and gotten changed. She hated her clothes but was saved by Bill saying that she could borrow another of his tops, they were all long enough on her to be dresses. She beamed back and hurried into the shower.

Her hair mas much easier to manage this short. Though she wished she had a bit more skill to make it look less... silly. Oh well, it will probably grow out a bit before School.

She returned to the sitting room and looked around in awe. There was a large blackboard in front of the sofa and a strange looking set of parchment and what looked like a featherless quill? He encouraged her to take a seat on the sofa. He left a pot of tea, with some warming charms, on the table and some biscuits and said to help herself. When she was settled he started his lecture.

"So, occlumency can help protect your mind but it's more effective when you're also taking care of yourself".

Ginny shrunk back slightly. Bill came over and spoke more gently.

"Good food and physical exercise can also help brings your thoughts in check. It's something I need to try and do every day so I thought it would be fun to do together".

Bill went on to explain how food gives you the energy you need to think properly and how exercise helps channel the energy in more healthy ways. He said it would help if she did a small amount of exercise before breakfast each day followed by a good breakfast and then some of the techniques he would teach her later. She should also practice spells in the evening. It did make sense. She agreed to follow his advice. Throughout, he drew diagrams and made notes on the Board explaining his points. She couldn't help but think he would be quite a good teacher.

He then went onto explain how occlumency could be used to protect and organise your thoughts. He explained that his mind was like a complex tomb in a pyramid. He categorised his memories in different places and then he would have curses and traps to protect memories he didn't want others to see. A bookish person may use a library with their own categorisation system. She made notes with what Bill explained to be a muggle notebook (lined!) and pen which admittedly was much easier than the sheets of parchment and apparently much cheaper too. The pen felt a bit awkward in her hand at first but she loved not having to re-ink it. Muggles were really smart.

Ginny thought that she would use the orchard by her family home. She had lots of good memories there and she could hide her memories in the apples or the trees or the leaves. Bill then walked her through some breathing exercises which she should do while trying to keep the image in her head. He said it will help her relax and as a memory pops into her head she should sort it into her mindscape. She should try this after breakfast and before bed each day. It was harder than she thought it would be, bad memories of her family kept popping up but she persevered.

After lunch they returned to the sitting room area and Bill said that they needed to figure out a way to counter Tom. They started with brainstorming on the blackboard. Overall, they seemed to agree that Tom was originally a representation of the Dark Lord when he was still in school, probably final year. That the diary was created a way to give him life again and that when writing in it for such a long time that fake consciousness transferred into her brain. That didn't mean that a part of her brain was now like the diary, that part of the diary definitely died when it was stabbed but it was a copy, a very talkative but otherwise harmless copy. He said he believed that the copy will fade in time.

It felt better thinking of Tom as an angsty 17 year old instead of a younger Dark Lord. Ginny couldn't help but giggle at Tom's outraged comments. Everything felt safer with Bill around.

The next day was the day before her Birthday. Bill encouraged her to see the family for lunch. Sadly, they would be going home in a few days and it was best if she overcome spending time with them now before she was stuck with them for the rest of the summer. She reluctantly agreed. Charlie had to postpone his visit due to a problem with a Swedish Shortsnout and Ginny was sad that she wouldn't get the chance to see him.

Bill greeted her in the morning with an apple for energy. Then they ran through some basic exercises, a mixture of muggle yoga and Pilates apparently. The stretches were calming, though she couldn't manage to do many sit-ups. Bill said it would come with time. Afterwards they had their usual eggs and toast before showering and settling down for some occlumency practice. She was still struggling to get the hang of keeping the image in her mind but Bill reassured her that it was usual.

In one burst of inspiration and a small breakthrough, Ginny said it reminded her of some of the things she had tried to get rid of Tom, the white space and the void. Bill's eyes widened in surprise.

"That's very impressive magic, Gin! Doing that while under the diary's control is no easy feat. You should be proud".

Maybe she was stronger than she thought. She could do this.

When lunch rolled round she tentatively stepped out of Bill's quarters. Bill had helped her modify some of her clothes. Her pleated skirt was now a pair of shorts and her pink t-shirt was now black. The moment they entered the dining hall her family stopped talking. Bill arched an eyebrow at them and took a seat, gently nudging Ginny to sit next to him. Ginny took a steadying breath and reached for a plate. Unfortunately, Mum didn't take long to crack.

"Oh Ginny, why didn't you tell us!" She cried.

Ginny paused mid-reach and clenched her fists. How was it her responsibility? They should have noticed something was wrong! She was glad when her Dad interrupted.

"Now Molly dear, Bill explained very well that it was not Ginny's fault. I'm sure she tried to tell us..." He left the question hanging in the air. She nodded firmly, not trusting herself to speak. Bill's hand was on her shoulder reminding her of his presence but Tom was mocking her. If only she had approached Mum when she first suspected the diary, none of this would have happened. She gripped her seat tightly. She was weak. She couldn't do this.

Bill pulled her closer before the thoughts could completely spiral.

"He's wrong, Gin" Bill reminded her gently, and she knew he was talking about Tom.

"I think I need some air" she said shakily.

He squeezed her arm and let her up.

"You'll be safe as long as you don't go into one of the pyramids. I'll be with you shortly..." He trailed off.

"Thank you" she whispered and turned to leave, legs shaking. She was nearly at the door when she heard Ron.

"So much drama! Jeez, not even Harry made that much of a fuss and he was bitten... by a basilisk!"

Ginny stalled on her exit.

"He's right, you know. Your perfect prince got bit by a basilisk and you don't see him complaining. At least you had some control over what happened. But you're weak aren't you Ginny? It's a miracle you didn't kill everyone. You're not strong, you're lucky and one day that luck will run out".

Tom was right. She's a failure. She couldn't think. She needed to run, get away for a while.

She ran and ran and ran out into the desert. The sun blasted down and baked her skin. She didn't get very far but Merlin it was tiring to run on sand. Her pounding heart blocked out Tom's voice and she revelled in the silence until she could run no more. She fell to her knees and felt the near scalding warmth on her legs. He rolled onto her back and stared up into the endless blue sky. Why was she so weak? Why did everything hurt her? Why couldn't she be stronger? A breeze whipped her hair around her face and cooled her tears.

The breeze didn't stop and only got stronger. It threw sand into her eyes and she clamped them shut. Her heart was beating too fast. She could barely breathe. There was a pain in her chest. She was scared. Tom was telling her that her heart was going to explode. That it was a side effect of the diary and now she's going to die. That couldn't be right, could it? Bill said it was just a copy of his thoughts. Bill wouldn't let her get hurt.

She pushed herself back up onto her knees and pulled her T-shirt over her mouth and nose. Take deep breaths. Bill will find you soon. The wind rushed in her ears only gaining in intensity. There was no respite from the sand now. It appeared to be a full blown sandstorm. Tom was right. She was going to die. She couldn't see or hear anything except Tom's laughter.

She was on the brink of surrendering when a tiny voice insider her fought back. Why should she give up? She was sick of it. Sick of being weak. Sick of Tom's stupid voice. She pushed herself to her feet and screamed. She let out everything she had been repressing. The tears streamed down her face. She screamed until her throat was hoarse. She dropped the t-shirt and threw her arms wide. The sand stung her throat but she didn't stop. It felt too good to finally let those emotions go.

It took her a while to notice but she could no longer feel the sand on her skin. Had the sandstorm really passed that quickly? For once Tom was blissfully quiet. She peeked out of one eye and then opened them both in awe. She was in the centre of a 2 metre sphere of air untouched by the sand. Outside the boundary of the bubble grains of sand whizzed past. She was safe. Bill had found her.

I'm still astounded that the reviews, views, favourites and alerts are still going up. Thank you everyone!

Abhayakara - I'm glad you like my version of Bill! He never got enough development in canon for my liking.

I've got some rough ideas spanning quite a few years a head in Ginny's story. As always, if you have any ideas of things you would like to see, please let me know!

Stay safe,

~ Fiona