Trigger Warnings:
Schizophrenia-like symptoms


The first day of term dawned and Ginny felt exhausted from the aftershocks of the dementor attack and a restless night full of more terrors than sleep. Tom was still persistent and she steeled herself for some long weeks of trying, once again, to muffle him. She dragged herself up out of bed before the sun losing any will to continue trying to sleep. The shadows under her eyes stood out against her pale skin as she looked in the mirror. She sighed, splashed some cold water onto her skin and scraped her hair back into a high ponytail out of the way. Back in the dorm, she dressed herself in the gloom and gathered her things before heading down to the common room. Perhaps she would be able to focus enough to read by the fire until Colin arrived. Thankfully, the boy in question was already waiting for her when she arrived and, in her fatigue, she didn't even think to ask why. They wandered the empty halls while Colin filled the silence with endless chatter about the various portraits and tapestries. Ginny was content to listen to him talk, chipping in occasionally about piece that caught her attention. Once the sun began to peek through the windows, they headed down to an early breakfast.
She spent the first few days of the new term artfully dodging Lisa and Rachael, her dormmates. They seemed intent on uncovering all the gruesome details of last year and seemed suspicious of her role. Ginny had absolutely no interest in discussing it and was rapidly losing patience. She spent as little time in her dorm room as possible in an effort to avoid them. Colin remained a steadfast supporting figure and reminded her to go to bed when her head started to droop onto his shoulder. This was usually well after her dormmates had passed out from exhaustion and Ginny crept out at the crack of dorm while they were still recharging. Thankfully Colin continued to wait for her in the common room so she was rarely left alone. Coffee became a staple at breakfast for both of them. One morning, both too tired to do much walking, they settled into an abandoned classroom. Colin rested against the wall and lazily read through the transfiguration text while she found some time to write to Bill. She took some satisfaction from ripping pages from the gifted diary glad to find a use for them.
Hi Bill,
How is everything with you and the team in Egypt?
Please excuse the terrible paper. Mum decided it would be a good idea to get me a hideous pink diary for a late birthday present because "I loved writing in the other one so much". Is she being obtuse on purpose or is she genuinely thick? I nearly screamed and threw it back in her face but instead took a deep breath and excused myself to bed. Are you proud?
They (ministry? Dumbledore? Board of Governors?) decided it would be a good idea to have dementors on the train. Dementors, Bill! What fucking idiots decided it was reasonable to let dementors on a trail full of children?!
I didn't cope well. Luna didn't do so well either but Colin has been looking after me. I know they're not in the castle but I can still feel their presence just outside the walls.
What really gets me is that Dad clearly knew about it! He told me to stay inside the castle and didn't tell me why. If he did I could have at least prepared...
They are horrible, Bill. Is there anything that can be done to protect against them? I can't stand knowing that they're out there. I feel so scared and helpless. Tom's back too. I'm trying the exercises but it's hard with their constant presence.
My roommates are also constantly trying to get the details of last year out of me. I have avoided them so far but I swear I'm going to lose it soon. I wish I was still in Egypt with you.
Love,
Gin
Her luck had finally run out. Lisa and Rachel incensed by her avoidance decided that a public confrontation would be the best course of action. Colin had been feeling unwell and had popped to the hospital wing to get a headache potion so she was on her own. They decided to corner her in the dungeons corridor outside potions while waiting for class to begin.
"Come on, Ginny. You can't hide the truth forever" Lisa moaned.
"Yeah. Everyone thinks you have something to hide". Rachael added.
"So just tell us already and we will leave you alone".
Lisa took a step closer as if to intimidate her. Both her and Rachael were taller than Ginny's short frame. She stepped back into the wall with a slight thud. Unfortunately, this only allowed Rachael more space to close the gap.
How dare they try to intimidate her!
Are you really going to let them push you around? Tom snarled.
No, no she was not.
Ginny drew herself up to her full height, stepped forward and snapped.
"Ask me one more time and I swear I will shove my wand up your fucking ass and cast reducto".
With perfect timing Professor Snape swept around the corner. The class hurried into the potions room, Lisa with a verbal eep and Rachael looking back at her as if she had grown two, terrifying heads. Snape stopped directly in front of her and Ginny groaned internally at her terrible luck.
"Miss Weasley I expect you to be more aware of your surroundings in the future" he drawled.
"Yes Professor" she replied eyes downcast. Of course Snape had to catch her outburst. Tom of course found the situation hilarious and she wondered why in Merlin's name she listed to him in the first place.
To her surprise the potions professor said nothing more and instead entered the classroom. She hurried in after him and took a seat ducking her head to avoid the stares from the rest of the class.
"Miss Brewster, Miss Goodchild 5 points each from Gryffindor for the inability to keep your mouths shut" he snarled snapping the two out of their whispered conversation.
"But professor!" Lisa cried.
"10 points" Snape countered. There was no response.
Ginny was perplexed. Why in Merlin's name would Snape stand up for her? It seemed oddly out of character. Tom didn't have an answer either. The lesson also went surprisingly well considering how troubled her first year of tuition was. Granted, she had studied the hell out of her textbooks over the summer but even Tom seemed to have nothing of real substance to say about her skills. She also earned silence from Snape, which honestly was a massive compliment if you weren't a Slytherin. She was the only non-Slytherin in the room to gain such honour. Lisa and Rachael were not so lucky. Having clearly been rattled they failed within the first few stages of their potion causing it to bubble up over onto the floor and earn them a resounding zero for their efforts.
The majority of her classes also went well. She didn't fall as far behind as she feared or perhaps her classmates simply did not keep up with their studies over the summer. That was until defence against the dark arts. Perhaps she was just doomed to have a prick of a teacher every year. At least Gilderoy was relatively harmless, as long as you didn't stand in his way of fame that was. Her other classmates seemed absolutely fine with Lupin except for her and by extension, Colin of course.
The lesson started out pretty exciting. Wands away - a practical lesson that they had seen little of the previous year which was mostly dramatic retellings of Lockheart's obviously faked works. However, instead of the expected counter or defensive spells Lupin had decided that it was a fantastic idea for everyone to face a boggart. As in the shapeshifting being that turns into your worst fear. In front of the whole class. No, thank you.
Whilst everyone lined up, Ginny simply stepped away and stood to observe from across the other end of the room. Unfortunately, Lupin did not miss her actions and decided to call her up to go first. When she politely declined
"No, thank you, Sir. I'd rather not face my boggart, yet alone Infront of a full class of witnesses" he did not relent.
"Come on, Miss Weasley. There's no need to be shy" he encouraged.
"No, thank you" she replied firmer, ignoring Tom's assertion that she was being pathetic.
"I will insist that you participate, Miss Weasley. It is an essential part of your training".
Again she declined.
"That's hardly the Gryffindor spirit" he goaded to a few snickers. A couple of Hufflepuffs seemed appalled by her behaviour.
Ginny stood her ground trying to control her anger at being mocked by another twat claiming to be a professor. Surely he should understand that some students have fears that are best fought in privacy?
"Miss Weasley, if you will not participate I will have no choice but to give you detention".
"If she doesn't want to participate she shouldn't have to!" Colin argued on her behalf. "It's not fair to force someone to confront their worst fear in public!"
"Thank you, Mr Creevey. However, I was talking to Miss Weasley and have not changed my mind".
Tom was laughing at her predicament. Some kind of Gryffindor she was.
Stupid little Ginny couldn't even face a diary and now she can't face a cupboard! What's next – fear of cauldrons?
"Shut up" she half shouted, speaking to Tom but the words pouring out loud.
Lupin frowned.
"Detention, Miss Weasley. Need I give another?".
"If it's so easy, Sir. Why don't you step in front of the boggart and explain to us exactly what it means?"
He flinched almost imperceptibly.
Before he responded she turned on her heel and stormed out of the classroom, Colin following behind.
"You're a shit teacher, Sir" he added.
Ginny found a secluded alcove and her outraged façade crumbled. Colin held her closely. He told her how Lupin was wrong, how she was the bravest person he had ever met, how Tom was a prick. She revelled in his comfort and let herself go.
After her confrontation with Lupin, who the rest of the Gryffindors seemed to adore, her other year mates seemed to give her a wide berth. She was also treated to a strong reprimand from Percy as soon as she entered the common room which earned him an eloquently worded string of curse words and her another detention. At least Colin was on her side and Lisa and Rachael seemed reluctant to stay anywhere near her for more than a couple of seconds.
To cheer her up, Luna took her and Colin to see the house elves for pudding (despite it being time for breakfast) the next day. A food which, in Luna's opinion could make most things better. On the way, Luna explained how her Dad had given her directions so that she could speak to the elves if there was nothing suitable for her to eat. Ginny had to admit that a lot of the dishes were meat based. She wondered whether there were students with other dietary requirements and how they would go about setting up an appropriate meal plan. There was hardly any information about the elves at all. Neither Ginny nor Colin had met a house elf before. Colin understandably due to his muggle background whereas the Weasleys were poor societal outcasts. They neither had enough money to purchase a house elf or the high-society friends who would own one themselves. Ginny had only ever seen them portrayed in illustrated children's books. They were silly looking things with massive ears, oddly shaped bodies and bulging sparkly eyes. At least, that's what she thought.
The entrance to the kitchens was down in the dungeons, apparently near the Hufflepuff common rooms if Luna's commentary was to be believed. Strangely, you had to tickle the pear in a painting of fruit before being allowed entry. Not exactly the most secure entrance once known but near impossible to guess. The trio ducked through the entrance and was greeted by a handful of elves who already seemed to know "Missy Lu-Lu". Luna greeted them kindly and stepped back to introduce her friends.
"Everyone, these are my dear friends Colin Creevey and Ginerva Weasley".
The elves, despite their odd appearance, looked much more human than her childhood books had portrayed. Their ears were long but not comically oversized and their hand and feet more dexterous than cumbersome. One of the bolder elves stepped forward.
"It's nice to meet you" Ginny and Colin said, just out of time with one another. They bent down slightly to shake hands with one of the elves. The elves eyes widened a little in surprise before shaking the offered hands enthusiastically.
"They is like you, Miss Lu-Lu!" One of the elves at the back said.
"It's nice to meet you Missy Gin-Gi and Misters Cree".
Ginny laughed internally at their nicknames. Tom of course, had nothing pleasant to say and seemed absolutely disgusted by their interactions. In good spirits, Ginny paid him no mind.
Luna followed up by introducing a staggering number of elves to her and Colin. They all seemed to have names which ended with a 'y', perhaps it was a cultural thing. Did elves from different countries have a different naming pattern she wondered?
The head house elf was called Bipsey and the head chef elf was soupsey. The head cleaner was Hooby but he wasn't with them at the moment. Most of the cleaning elves worked through the night so most of the elves awake during the day were responsible for cooking.
They were soon seated at a table with bowls of chocolate pudding. Luna was eating hers enthusiastically. It had a distinct coconut taste which Ginny couldn't quite place.
"Wese be using coconut milk Missy Gin-Gi, no animals used for Missy Lu-Lu" one of the elves advised. Ah, that explained it. It tasted quite good.
"Bounty!" Colin exclaimed excitedly after taking a mouthful.
Probably a muggle expression, Ginny thought.
Soupsey seemed ecstatic that they were enjoying the foods.
"I's be sorting Miss Lu-Lu's foods. We makes it special for her and some other studentses. Yous be wanting too?" She asked politely.
"Yes, please Soupsey. If it's not too much trouble". Ginny replied.
"We both eat similar things to Luna. Though, maybe less sweet" Colin added with a laugh.
Soupsey seemed to crackle with excitement.
"Wes be doing it! Lets us know if yous find any new recipes".
"it's fun to make new things!" Another cooking elf shouted from the back.
They finished up their food, promised that they will bring some new recipes next time they visited and, after a round of thanks, headed back out.
Feeling rather full they only wandered up a couple of floors to find an abandoned classroom, rather than their usual haunt. Colin chattered excitedly about how different house elves were to elves in muggle stories. After Colin's description, Ginny had to agree. Luna thought that the muggle elves were actually fae, ancient ancestors of the house elf. She settled in to explain house elf lore for both of their benefit. It was dramatic and filled with oddities but Ginny got the gist of Luna's speech and learned a lot.
Apparently, they had a symbiotic relationship with magical beings. Though this was mostly humans these days, they could form bonds with any creature who held enough magic in their core. House elves fed off the magic of a residence or being and in return provides services to their keepers. This varied from place to place but typically involved cleaning, cooking, gardening and running errands. The ambient or gifted magic was what gave elves their powers so freed elves needed to find work straight away. Without the magic, they risked losing their ability to channel magic altogether. This was a greater risk for young elves who had not yet reached magical maturity and old elves whose cores had started to shrink. Unlike squibs, there were few places elves could find meaningful life without magic. They would need to rely on charity, unable to survive in the wilds or the muggle world. Furthermore, while without a magic source, they were susceptible to magical illnesses and without magic to fight off sickness could succumb easily.
The formal bond between elf and magical being is what tied them together and formed the symbiosis. It was a fundamental component but not necessarily a bond of servitude. When done correctly, it should maintain the elves' autonomy and free will. The true, first wizard bond sought to create a working relationship which would benefit both parties. Though the wording could differ, the main element was the ability for the elf to leave and seek new employment if they wished and that, while they stayed, they would assist one another in equal partnership for the benefit of all. However, the greed of wizardkind twisted the bonds and wording. Although no elf was forced into a bond, the alternative for most was too hard to bear. This was corrupted further in time to create bonding contracts that elves were tied into for life often with little rights. It was despicable. Luna's eyes had grown hard at that declaration.
If that wasn't bad enough, wealthy wizards then started breeding elves for their own gain. They then prevented access to the majority of families under hefty paywalls and crooked dealings. They hunted free elves and either enslaved them or killed them until there was almost no mention of bonds between elves and other magical beings. The elves at Hogwarts were the largest 'free' clan in Britain. They were not completely free but bound loosely to the School or Headmaster, to protect its students and provide upkeep. Though, the Headmaster was limited in the amount of elves he could take. The ambient magic here was strong but limited by the lack of magical children attending, a far reaching consequence of the war, and even a powerful wizard like Dumbledore couldn't sustain many elves by themselves. At least the elves here mostly fed off the ambient magic and were free to leave their bonds should they find a more suitable master – though few chose to leave. They were comfortable in the safety of Hogwarts surrounded by their relations and friends.
The visit with the elves was unfortunately, one of the few bright spots in the week. They later found out that Malfoy had disrupted Hagrid's first Care of Magical Creatures class on purpose and had gotten himself injured. He was creating an uproar about the gamekeeper and was swanning around like an utter prat threatening to get Hagrid sacked, and Buckbeak terminated. Luna was particularly upset about Buckbeak. The thought of an innocent creature being killed unjustly due to the selfish nature of wizards brought her to tears. Ginny and Colin spent hours consoling her trying to think of a way to help the poor Hippogriff.
On the bright side, Bill had responded and was in agreement with her assessment of their family (inconsiderate, clueless dickheads as he called them) and had given her some information on the patronus charm. The patronus charm would enable her to summon a guardian to repel Dementors but it was very advanced magic and he recommended that she seek special tutoring from their Defence Professor (out of the question!) or Flitwick. He gave her a couple of book titles to look up and advised that even though it was hard to master, he had full confidence in her abilities with or without a tutor. It may take time but she would get there.
The bright side did not last long though, for Professor McGonagall held her back after transfiguration to hand her details of her upcoming detentions. They were to be held with Professor Snape on both days of the weekend which meant she would need to stay up late doing her assignments lest she fall behind. She had also been suffering with insomnia, barely getting more than a couple of hours a night. It would be a perfect excuse to catch up with her studies if she didn't feel too exhausted to focus on anything but the glow of the moonlight.
McGonagall also had something to say about her behaviour.
"I am very disappointed in you, Miss Weasley. I expected better after last year but perhaps I was mistaken".
What the actual fuck.
Old, clueless bint. Tom added.
Ginny didn't trust herself to speak and instead nodded tightly and left the room. She didn't want to accrue more detentions after all.
The next morning, she sat down to breakfast and a howler arrived – which could only be from her dear Mother. The owl dropped it in mid-air but before it could shout Ginny set it alight with a flick of her wrist to the gasps of her housemates... mainly Hermione who seemed utterly devastated of her blatant rule breaking at the breakfast table. Ginny had no desire to hear her Mother yelling at her like a banshee for all to hear. The howler succumbed to the flames and she was none the wiser of what it wanted to say. Mum could hardly afford the more expensive, fire resistant, variants and for that she was thankful. Percy quickly deducted points looking rather scandalised. The twins were staring at her with open mouths and Ron was so deep in his bacon he hadn't realised what was going on. Percy had started to lecture her when she stood up and left the hall. There was no point in staying now, the others wouldn't let her enjoy her breakfast in peace. Colin and Luna quickly followed with stacks of toast and they finished breakfast elsewhere. She longed for fresh air but the presence of the Dementors outside the castle walls were still too much.
Detentions with Snape were interesting. Following her brothers' horror stories she fully expected to be elbow deep in the guts of some animal or another. She arrived fully prepared to grit her teeth and bear it, hoping that she wouldn't vomit over his precious potions ingredients causing another slew of detentions. Snape however, seemed to have other plans for some indiscernible reason. He set her up to brew some basic healing potions for the hospital wing and let her get on with it. She was happy to comply relieved to be free of spleens when she felt his presence entering her mind. She locked away the majority of her emotions to the best of her ability and focused on the memory of Lupins class as a distraction and her feelings surrounding it. The only hint of her success was the arched eyebrow on her professors face which she spotted through her curtain of hair. Interesting. Even more so when the famously prickly professor seemed to warm to her even more, or at least as warm as she could imagine him getting. By the end of the second day of detention he was allowing her to experiment with first-year potion manipulations, his minute facial expressions giving clues to which combinations to try. It was enlightening.


Thank you JamesBirdsong and Brick88 for your lovely reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy.
Happy New Year everyone! I hope you find peace and happiness this year.
~ Fiona