This was a collaborative freeform effort on the Facebook groupo collected and posted here for the sake of posterity.

Kevin Finkels post that started it all:

All because of a typo

7th year, Horcrux Hunt

While the trio were preparing for their infiltration of the Ministry, the Editor of the Daily Prophet was hurrying out of his office already late for an important date. His print manager had sent the assistant to verify that tomorrow's run had been proofed, so when the assistant spotted Cuffe, he naturally asked if everything was alright. "I've got…"

Cuffe brusquely pushed him aside, "Yeah, whatever it is, fine."

Xxx

The next morning, witches (and a few bent wizards) up and down the country nearly had an aneurysm at the headline:

50 MILLION GALLEONS TO THE PERSON WHO GIVES HEAD TO HARRY POTTER

Blissfully unaware, Harry stumbled into the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. He sat down at the table and nursed his cup of tea while Hermione kept staring at him oddly, with a dreamy smile on her face. Finally, she leant over and kissed him soundly on the lips, "I wonder if I could claim the reward."

Happy for the kiss but clueless about the comment, he eloquently replied, "Huh?"

"I think the danger you're in, just got a whole more crazy."

"What are you on about?" He was the one now staring oddly at her. She placed the paper down and pointed at the headline. Harry's eyes bugged out the moment he comprehended what he was looking at and let out a low groan, "I'm so screwed."

Hermione licked her lips, a lusty glint in her eyes as she moved to straddle his lap, "Mmm, I would do that for free…"

MY comment to continue:

"Draco. What are you doing here?" Harry gasps seeing the blonde in line to claim the reward.

"Well you see since father went to Azkaban some of the debts have been piling up and so I thought I could use the money." The blonde said hopefully. "After all we have such a history together."

Harry stood blinking blankly as Hermione activated the boot of death before kicking Draco into his hat

Next came Elysia Nicole with this gem

Hermione walks down the corridor humming with a slight smile. Luna keeps pace beside her quietly as they walk past a line of witches and wizards, all queued up and waiting. They walk past a broom closet that has a sign hung on it and they all appear to be waiting their turn…some more patiently than others.

When Luna sees the sign, she looks at Hermione quizzically. Hermione peers at her from the corner of her eye and whispers quietly. "He's actually in the library…nobody needs to know Ron and the Gryffindor boys have been taking the polyjuice potion I keep making."

Then this followed: Elysia Nicole

The replacements would be in line as well. When they made it to the closet, they'd switch places so nobody knew!

Just so you know…Draco isn't so much in line as he's line adjacent trying to look uninterested while scoping out who he can intimidate to cut in front of!

Followed by my thought

indeed. Increasing the rumors of Harry's power exponentially until Voldemort sends his best witches to deal with harry. Bella to whip him into submission and narcissa to seduce him to the dark side.

Responded with this

Elysia Nicole

Plot twist…they weren't expecting the Gryffindor kinks…his best witches are cock-whipped by the tower boys!

And ending up with this as the follow through and ending by me.

Narcissa and Bellatrix met a week after the great Potter article fiasco. The Prophet had immediately issued a retraction but only after his Darkness the Lord of Evil had crucioed the ones responsible until their spleens bled out of their ears for their foul up.

Narcissa though had heard from Draco that Hermione had for some reason permitted the girls (and a few of the boys) of Hogwarts to service Harry as she needed the help keeping up with his insatiable ability and prodigious power. Draco himself had only been able to secure a reservation for a week hence. Even with Potter servicing at least 40 or 50 customers a day.

Narcissa thought that can't be right. 40 or 50 a day, plus going to class, eating, and Quidditch should have left the boy an exhausted empty husk. Drained of his precious bodily fluids. She shook her head and hurried to show the letter to her sister Bellatrix.

"So what do you think sinister dear?" Narcissa cooed as her sister frowned then started licking her lips.

"I think he has tapped into some dark power and it is enriching and engorging his core strength. The swollen pride he must be feeling should be pricked by us so that we can rise to the top and ride onward to a victorious climax." Bellatrix enthusiastically declared with a fanatical glee. Her corseted bosom rising and falling like the tides.

"So Rodolphus hasn't been able to function since he got out of Azkaban either eh?"

Bellatrix sighed, "Nah. Limp as a boiled pot noodle."

"Same with Lucius. I'll make arrangements with Severus to get us a special reservation." Narcissa stated. Even if they couldn't figure out what sort of dark power Potter possessed at the very least it should be a fun evening.

…..

Hermione nodded to Millicent in thanks for the information. She had joined the Potter Patrol after one too many fat jokes from Draco and passed along the information about Narcissa and Bellatrix's nefarious plans.

Making arrangements she called forth the forces she had arrayed. Even going so far as to have the Weasley twins return to the school.

"Okay team. I know you been working hard and long hours. Doing your best to ensure the population of the school is taken care of. Colin good work on Draco. I'm not entirely sure what you did but he has not been walking the same ever since then.

"Oh nothing much just a bit of the ol'backspin on the ol tickity bob when doing the dive bird in a half gainer when I pitch him a good one. After that he's a goner with a gooney glom." he declared in RAF approved banter.

Hermione nodded and turned to the group, "Right. Well we've received word that Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix are coming to test Harry's resolve. They believe that he has somehow tapped into a dark power to increase his magical strength. I have asked Fred and George to lead the team dealing with her. I need one more volunteer."

Neville stood up rapidly. "I volunteer!"

Hermione looked at him with concerned sympathy, "Neville this is Bellatrix. You don't have to do this."

"Hermione after what she did I have some deep, dark revenge fantasies I need her to participate in. I'll show her why she will never forget the name LONGbottom!"

"Very good. Now this is a list of her known kinks, fetishes and turn ons." She handed it to Fred who shared it with his brother as they started unrolling the long scroll. After 45 minutes of reading the list they reached the end of it and scoffed, "Rank Amateur. She has no imagination." They tossed the scroll to Neville who caught it with an oof.

"Very well. I place the two of you in charge of taming her. As for team two. Narcissa. Seamus how's your jaw?"

"Back in place. I didn't realize Ginny had such strong thighs." He shivered slightly.

Ron nodded, "Yeah she said she's been studying some class called kegals. I dunno what that is but I'm glad you took my spot. She is real persistent."

"No problem man." Seamus and Dean, the rest of the boys said.

Ron looked peeved briefly but shrugged when Hermione said, "FOCUS people. Narcissa is a class 2 rated seductress. I need people to be able to handle her. I need people who will face her thighs and not give up. Do not let me down when you go down. Make sure that she does not walk out of here." She growled pacing. "I need you to ensure that she gets the jelly leg curse from a totally different perspective."

Seamus and Dean stood, "We are ready and willing to perform."

"Alright one more and the teams will be set." She declared.

Ron stood, "I will do it for the honor of Gryffindor."

"Steady on man. Are you sure you could handle her?" Seamus asked worriedly.

"I handled Parvati and Padma, together." Ron countered.

"As I recall you broke both hips and sprained your spleen." Harry said.

"Yeah but I left the both of them with a smile on their faces." Ron grinned happily.

"Very well. Then all I shall say is Once more unto the breaches my friends, stiffen your sinews, and summon your blood. Hide your fair nature with hard rage my friends. Go well into battle for on your burdens shall come the victory." Hermione declared as the six warriors planned.

…...

The night of the assignation arrived and Bellatrix and Narcissa were each led to a room. They waited for a few minutes before Harry Potter entered. He did not speak to them but began to do things. Powerful and momentous things, even before he disrobed. He did things that not even Pornhub would show to their exclusive members. Things that caused the ghosts of the castle to become quite disturbed and pensive. Moaning Myrtle took notes but even she stared open mouthed at the things team 1 did to and with Bellatrix. Things that boggled the mind of the most pervert poltergeist in perdition. Things that social media shall never allow to be more than hinted at.

…...

The next day Minerva went to see what was going on in the Gryffindor common room as the house elves told her that they had competition.

Entering the room she saw Neville Longbottom sitting in a large wingback chair smoking a pipe in his bathrobe and slippers reading a paper. Kneeling on the floor next to him was Bellatrix Lestrange who was somehow transformed into a little bit furry version of a dog. She had a collar around her neck with a tag on it and was smiling dreamily in a way that made Minerva shiver.

She smelled fresh baked cookies and saw Narcissa Malfoy in high heels, pearls, an apron, tight red thong and bedazzled matching bra. Her hair hung loose down her back.

"Narcissa?" Minerva asked, deciding that she at least still looked like herself, mostly.

"Oh hello Minerva. Harry said that Gryffindor needed a dorm mom. So I volunteered." She said in a dreamy hum.

"A dorm mom?" Minerva asked pursing her lips.

"Yes. He explained it as someone who will take care of the students, bake them cookies. Tuck them in at night. Especially harry or his chosen ones..." She said with a long drawn out sigh.

Minerva looked across the room at Bellatrix who was curled up on the floor in front of Neville now. Her tongue lolling out slightly as she relaxed. Minerva thought the fur bikini she had been wearing was an article of clothing but on second glance it was her actual fur.

Turning back to Narcissa, "What happened to Bellatrix?"

"Oh once Harry had broken her he gave her to Longbottom. I don't know what he did to her as she only talks in baby talk now. Or barks. Plus she is very loyal to him." Narcissa earnestly said.

Minerva's eyebrows furrowed together before she said, "Put a skirt on."

Turning she considered speaking with Mr Longbottom but since he did not seem to be mistreating his playpet and she was covered at least all she said was, "Just make sure you walk her at least twice a day. I don't want any messes in the Dorms."

"Yes ma'am." Neville said with a very satisfied grin.

Minerva left to pull her bottle of Ogden's out of her desk. She would go speak with Mr Potter and his two consorts but Albus had granted them a week long pass to Bora Bora. Striding to her office she contented herself with thinking very strident thoughts about him and his females.

…...

Rubbing sunscreen onto the back of a topless brown haired girl Harry Potter paused for a moment. Hermione looked over her shoulder, "Something wrong Harry?"

"For a brief moment I felt a rather cross chill."

"It was probably just the breeze."

"Or it was the wrackspurts again." Luna declared from beneath her umbrella. Her pale skin needing spf 340k. "You may need to blow him again."

"You mean in his ear." Hermione asked remembering the treatment for those pesky Wrackspurts.

"You can take his ear this time. I'll take someplace else." The blonde cheerfully declared as the credits started scrolling up the screen.

Review Responses:

Kimjo2: You are very welcome.
Dennisud: Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed. Without canon we would have nothing though. As for the other with Luna We was thinking of a short mini series based on it.

Timekeeper: Indeed. We were thinking the same thing. Glad you enjoyed.

Officerdonnz: Yes indeed. This is going to be the new trio. As for Ron well he will get a very warm situation before it gets very cold...