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Wonderment

She left and there was no way to know where she had gone. And with Aurora on my arm I knew it was going to be difficult to make an excuse to see where she had gone off to. Belle was such a mystery at the time, and she took up almost the entirety of my mind and its thoughts.

Aurora led me to the dance floor, and I felt her hand take mine and plant it on her waist as she pulled herself into my chest. I smiled as I looked down at her only because it was a natural response to hers looking back at me. The waltz came on and as we glided around the hall, I couldn't help but remember how enchanting Belle looked. She had looked so worried just now, so opposite of what she seemed to feel when she first arrived to the hall. As the music changed to a softer slower tone, Aurora nuzzled her face to my shoulder.

She didn't know that I noticed her making passing eyes to Philip who was part of the audience looking on. I rolled my eyes in my head and was so over this whole relationship. It was great while it lasted, but I needed something else tonight, and it looked like so did Aurora. I had made up my mind. Not only did I need something else tonight, but possibly something else altogether entirely. It was time to be done of her once and for all.

Brash and confident decisions didn't always occur to me. To be completely truthful, I found myself confused many a time. It was one of many myriad qualities that bothered my father. As the Duke of France he was completely uneasy about me taking his place one day. He had never failed to remind me of that. He constantly spoke of my many disappointments and of his everlasting disturbance on my fickleness. There was one aspect of my life however, that I felt confident and decisive about, and that was women. I had my way with them as well!

My father and I never saw eye to eye. Truth be told I think I could hate the man if I tried hard enough, but a part of me understood that it was because of him that I had what I had. I chose to believe that softer side I encompassed was inherited from my mother, and when I feel this way, I feel my mom and am reminded of her.

When my dad steals that memory away from me, it is when he is aggressively criticizing me. I loathe my father in turn when he makes me feel this way because it takes my feeling of motherly warmth and the memory of her away, even for an instant. He distracts me from my inner hope, that I in fact do encompass the capability of being like her. He deflects this hopeful feeling entirely when he's bitter and mean. I know no matter what I would never obtain the acceptance or the reassurance of my father, thus I'm forced to act coldly against him.

As the audience applauded to all the couples who had just waltzed, I quickly went to the direction of the stairs.

"Where do you think you are going?" asked Aurora, as she laced her arm around my back. "We're just getting started!"

"Not tonight I'm afraid," I replied through my tightened jaw.

"What's gotten into you? I am beginning to think that lovely brunette you stopped earlier on the staircase is on your mind."

She was right. How intuitive. But I didn't feel like answering her. She didn't need to know every detail of my life, and we only use each other. And I didn't need to use her anymore.

"I'm done," I replied.

Aurora took her arm off of me instantly taking a step back, her hand covering her gasp. I could tell she knew what I meant when I said I was done. Not with the welcome dance event but of her. It must have been the way I pulled away from her so abrasively.

"You were never in this from the beginning!" she cried.

I looked around embarrassed of the scene we were probably causing, or well, more of what Aurora was causing. All the rest of the students were busy dancing, taking, and drinking to my relief, so luckily they didn't take notice of us. Nevertheless I was in a hurry to get away from her and this hall.

"Why should I be in this? The princess of Belgium wanting to be on the arm of a Duke's son? Why not just go for a prince! Besides I see your wanton eyes straying to a particular one this evening!" I protested.

"My eyes going astray have never bothered you before! Besides, it's all political isn't it? You and me, restoring the ties of France and Belgium. We had an understanding! I told you, you could do whatever you wanted privately as long as you are publicly with me!" she pressed.

"Do you have any idea what you're saying? You're willing to be with someone that doesn't love you so that you can gain political optimism?"

"Adam, I was raised with a purpose. I know my place it's time you know yours!" she exclaimed angrily.

"My place is to at least be with someone that set's higher expectations for themselves, unlike you!" I boomed.

"Are you saying then that you're not good enough for me? Higher expectations meaning I can do better than you, right?" she challenged.

I was beginning to get very exhausted from this argument. Nor did I give a fuck about what her political calculations were, but I needed to end it even if it meant badly. The last thing I cared about was making my father proud of me for being some political despot.

"Princesses like you Aurora, are meant to fuck royalty, have babies and that's how you bring countries together. You'll get no political in or say otherwise. You're right I was never in this from the beginning. I used you publicly to hide what I do privately. So did you. We used each other. Fair is Fair. If your were misled to believe that I would marry you eventually then I apologize. I thought I made it clear. Our companionship was just convenient for the present, not the future."

I could tell she was trying hard not to scream. Her eyes, welling up in anger not sadness.

"You're right, but a part of me felt like, oh I don't know," she trailed off as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her composure was of that of a spoiled brat.

I looked at her pitifully. There was nothing more I could say. What was done was done, and I said the truth. However, I felt it was only fair that I let her tell me all that she wanted to.

"Aurora, I feel like we owe it to each other to explain ourselves fully. Thinking I could just cast you away quickly was not fair of me at all."

"No it wasn't fair, not at all," she said softly as she let out a sigh between pursed lips. She nodded in agreement, as she gestured toward the bench on one of the balconies outside.

She sat down on the bench and I preferred to lean back against the wall across from her.

"Won't you sit?" she asked pressingly, as she toyed with the skirt of her dress.

"No. Fine right here," I replied. I was able to get a freshly concocted drink off the hands of a waiter's tray before heading to the balcony. A few more of these would be needed after this conversation.

"I thought you might grow into appreciating me. I thought you would perhaps truly fall in love with me. I thought I would for you as well. I thought we would be able to, oh I don't know," her voice trailed off again.

I remained calm and patient but a part of me was getting tiered, and my craving for Belle grew and grew exponentially by the minute.

"Aurora, you can't have your cake and eat it too. What did you think would happen if we…ever got together permanently?" I inquired.

"We'd get married and you'd govern Belgium with me."

"No, I got that part." I dismissed, "but did you honestly think, we would be faithfully married?" I asked.

Aurora looked up at me wide eyed, awaiting my continuation.

"Kings, rulers, Dukes, they all have affairs, it's almost part of the job description," I stated as I sipped my drink.

"How can you say that? My father loves my mother he would never think of straying away," she rebutted. "Once we're married all that merriment ends. I'll be committed."

I sighed, "It's like we have this almost normal life in University where we get to be like the rest of the students. We get to experience being with different people like normal folk. Court one and if that doesn't work, court another. Unfortunately because of our lineage, we can't get away with that, so me and you had this so called façade of a fake real relationship. Normal people Aurora don't have to put on a fake relationship. They just do what they please. How can I trust you would be with just me, when you've already gallivanted around at your way with other men?"

"Well then, I could ask you the same question. If you want my trust, how could I trust you?" she asked.

"You can't. But if you are willing to be unhappily married to someone like me be warned- I have no political thirst or absolution of any kind," I stated.

Aurora looked down in slight despair.

"Why?" she asked. It was a reasonable question of any noble to another- why do you not want to conduct the responsibilities of what you've been born into. But I didn't want to tell her about my father and my devious ways of not being the son or ruler he ever wanted. I never confided anything to her or any woman for that matter. I was too complicated even for myself.

"I have my reasons, reasons I don't care to explain."

"At least, you are being honest," she precluded. "Being royal comes with responsibilities Adam; you are the Duke's song for Christ's sake! You can't get away with forgetting your duties. It's what you got from birth whether you like or not," she said as she stood up.

"Well, that's my problem not yours," I retorted as I threw back the entire drink into my mouth.

Aurora glided to me reaching her hand to my cheek cupping it gently.

"I wonder if you will ever be kind to any woman. But I seriously doubt it," she said sadly. "I pity you, and most of all the amount of women you will disappoint."

I laughed. There would always be women I would be interested in, such as Aurora or Belle, but there would be others too. There would be more and I hated to admit it but Aurora was right. I would probably never be completely consistently kind to any woman. I was never shown properly how to. I've only seen the worst of relationships and I didn't believe such a thing, could even be possible.

"Aurora, you are smart, and you get away with the choices just like men and you're a woman. That's pretty impressive. I never knew that deep inside, you thirsted for monogamy, but I'm glad we've been truthful to each other now, before it was too late."

Aurora, slightly smiled, "Adam, I love my country more than anything. I was willing to do anything for it. I know my destiny. I do hope you discover your own too."

With that last statement, she left, and I was left with an empty glass a million thoughts. I hope to discover my own destiny too one day. I was pretty sure it would be a bleak one though. I knew I would never be accepting of the responsibilities I was born into. And if I had my way, I would keep it like that.

So what do you think? Adam is such an arse! He's way too complicated too. Ever remind you of certain boyfriends of the past? I quite like his complicated personality and I'm looking forward into exploring it.

Aurora- what a girl right? We all got a little window into his life and it sounds like daddy issues are at the crux of it! I know we're all cheering for an Adam and Belle pairing her, but you have to admit! Aurora is a bit ahead of her times, knows what she wants, goes after her desires, goal orientated, a flirt, and for a royal- she gets away with it. Pretty impressive. She also knows her role in life. Adam is still a lost soul...More to come the next chapter should be up soon. And please do read and review- I don't get motivated to write unless I know someone out there cares So far, I've received some care. Let's keep it coming guys, and stay with me here- Adam is supposed to be a bit of a wild card- he's the wildest one I have created yet!