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Wonderment - Chapter 8
I couldn't remember the lecture of the Shakespearean Sonnet class that well. I was still aghast at how Adam could bring me to be so open at one moment and then take all my comfort the next. It kept me feeling constantly jilted. Not only did I have this financial burden on my mind on one hand, on the other here was Adam who constantly made me feel pleasurably uneasy. It seemed so wrong the more I thought about it, because it felt so exciting. Was it ok to feel aroused by such demeaning vivacity from him?
The last time I really saw him was the night of the welcome dance. I had informed Ariel of my brief yet whimsical encounter that evening with Adam solo. Ariel chided with me that it seemed I had an interest in Adam. I knew I could trust Ariel, and so I probably did blush in agreement. I can usually hide my feelings fairly well if I try.
"He seems to be taken by you Belle, " Ariel gleamed, when I finished my tale of Adam leaving me "kiss less" yet warm.
Ariel stated, during her conversation with him at the dance, he inquired a bit about me, but Ariel had only stated that we had just met and that we were roommates.
I was thankful she didn't divulge too much information about me to Adam. Especially after discovering how simple my background would to him, given the lack of fancy dresses I had brought to University.
I had also admitted to Ariel that it seems as if most of the students at the University including Adam assume students are usually from aristocratic lineages. I lamentably explained to Ariel how I lied stating the man Adam had seen dropped me off wasn't my father. Every time I thought about my father it brought pain into my heart.
Explaining further of the financial burden I could be causing my father by attending this grand University it was Ariel that advised I find an on campus job at the University. I took into consideration, and wrote up a résumé.
Back to the present, the professor entered the lecture hall and we stood up in respect. We took our seats only when he signaled us to do so, after roll call.
I probably just stared at the professor the whole time. I hardly took notes. I could see in the corner of my eye that Ariel was writing and engaged in the lesson. Adam to my left seemed to lean back in his chair just looking at the professor. Time to time, he'd bring a finger up to his chin as if he was thinking. Did he really have such a grand memory that he didn't even need to jot down anything? He didn't even have a pen on his desk. If was trying to impress me, it was working. All I could think about was how he started out debonair just now when he arrived to class and then became brash with me all of a sudden. Comparable to the night of the welcome dance he started the night presenting himself so gentleman like, then warned me that he was interested.
Who warns someone that they are interested? It comes off threatening!
The professor passed out the syllabus of the course at the end of class as we dismissed ourselves out.
I could see rain out the window. It was a little more heavy now and windy as well.
I followed Adam, and Ariel followed behind me. We met outside the classroom naturally and Adam motioned for his coat. With a half-smile I handed back his possession.
"Thank you," he said shortly.
"Thank you for letting me borrow it," I replied. I would've given it to him sooner but I was too shy to find out where he resided, or may be a bit of me was too proud to show that I cared.
Ariel noticed the unchivalrous character as well, but decided to make light of things. She always picked up on these desolate cues.
"You are going to the library now aren't you Belle?" Ariel asked had encouragingly.
Adam looked on in utter curiosity.
"Studying already? Getting a quick start aren't we?" asked Adam.
"You know what they say. The early bird catches the worm!" I said, rolling my eyes. Did I really just say that? To my disdain, I had. Anything to cover up the real reason I was going to the library.
Adam smilingly, shook his head and put on the coat.
He proceeded outside but not after he glanced once more to me with a smile. Ariel noted the action as well, as he continued on, out of the building into the rainy sky, letting a cold wind into the building.
"I now see that my hunch is definitely on point," Ariel chastised, "He is quite taken with you."
I sighed and smiled back.
"I don't know Ariel," I started, "I feel as though he is a little off the demeanor I felt he had portrayed the night of the dance."
"No he seems just as debonair I feel," Ariel stated firmly.
"You didn't hear the conversation we had earlier in the lecture hall. He was a bit, taunting?" I stated questionably.
Ariel gave me a funny look but dismissed my statement.
"Oh Belle, I believe you're just reading into too much!"
"I don't know. He may be interested in me, but is it bad that I feel very uncomfortable about it?"
"He's harmless Belle. Just a guy hit with cupid's arrow for you!" she exclaimed cheerfully. "Now off to the library you go. You have other priorities to think about. The head librarian will be there. Do you have your résumé?" asked Ariel.
I looked into my bag and pulled out a large brown envelope. My neatly written resume in my best script, filled with my utter love of reading, how I watched the bookstore back in my village when the owner stepped out for errands or aided him with shelving books.
"If only I hadn't divulged such a private detail in my life! Perhaps I wouldn't be in this giddy predicament now! Do you think Gaston would tell anyone about me? Where I truly came from and my simple way of life," I asked Ariel.
"Only one way to know for sure I'm afraid," said Ariel as she tucked a piece of wild hair behind her ear.
"Ugh the last thing I want to do is talk to him!" I squealed burying my head into my hands. "I might accidentally reveal more of my personal, destitute life. I want to keep as much of it under lock and key as possible!"
"Well, what about his offer, it seemed enticing to you did it not?" she reminded me.
"Well, yes, but I couldn't be a barmaid!" I concluded.
"Of course not Belle, but it seemed like the prospects of a job enticed you and I am here now to remind you that there is one available now and respectable one at that! Now get to the Library! I don't want youth miss this opportunity! Plus think of all the books, stories, and adventures you would be around constantly, on the job! You love reading!" she excitedly reminded.
I thought for a moment. What if other students saw me and questioned as to why I would be working on campus? What would they think? Adam didn't think I was anything else but noble and rich…not the entire details, but somewhat. Ariel wouldn't tell anyone that I was from a simple life, but would Gaston?
"Oh I don't know Ariel, but I do want to help my father," I solemnly whispered.
I still felt so guilty about the lie I had told Adam. I remember being very sad when I kissed Papa goodbye. If Adam had indeed seen me that day, I wonder if he believed my lie on saying it was just a worker of the family. Could a worker be that precious to someone?
Having just attended a Shakespearean class I am reminded by one of his plays in particular that resonated the devotion between a servant and their master- Romeo and Juliet. Juliet was loved by her nursemaid. Her nursemaid only looked for the happiness of Juliet and her wellbeing, even if it meant covering for her when it came to Romeo! I guess it was possible then. Now as I think back on Adam I disdainfully hoped he believed me.
"What am I thinking? Of course I have to help my father! I'm off Ariel wish me luck!"
"Good luck Belle, and just run like the wind across the road, the library is just on the other side! If you run fast enough I'm sure you won't be too wet. You'll still be intact, fit enough for interviewing!" she encouraged.
I had to give Ariel a hug before I left. In just such a short span of time, I had gotten to feel incredibly comfortable around her. I kicked up my heels and ran for the door.
When I had reached the library through the grim rain, I quickly looked at my reflection through a trophy glass case just before the internal entrance of the library. I fixed my hair and my uniform for it looked a little wilted but surprisingly, not too wet at all. I took out the brown envelope and the sheet of paper inside.
The interview went well. Needless to say I got the position of reference specialist in which I would shelve books, encyclopedias, and magazines. The head librarian stated that I would also have to help time to time with research questions students may ask at the reference desk. That made me feel a bit uneasy. I was hoping the position would hide me. Shelving books, using the many tall shelves as a barricade to conceal myself seemed most favorable. Any interaction with students of any kind would be futile.
What would I say if someone I knew asked why I was working there? Do I say I'm just volunteering? Would that even be believable?
The rain was heavier outside now, but I knew I could make it to the dormitory. At the outside of the library entrance, I noticed it was late afternoon, and all the students must be indoors for there was no one in sight.
"Who would want to be outside in this weather now anyway?" I though out loud. "Only me," I sarcastically thought. I decided to walk slowly lest I fall on the ground from the slippery pavement.
After a few steps toward the dormitory I felt that I had taken a shower in my clothes. I was completely drenched. All of a sudden I saw a flash of light in the sky, followed by a cry of thunder. It scared me so i picked up speed.
When I finally got inside the dormitory, I could see my under garments showing through my white blouse. My brassière was in full view. I brought my arms to cover my chest and took a look around to make sure no one was in sight.
Even to my luck the person usually manning the lobby desk was absent at the moment. I resided on the first floor so it would just be one flight of stairs I had to get through this embarrassment!
When I reached the top, I ran to the door which was just around the left corner of the hallway. Freedom and pardon would be awaiting me soon!
I halted. There was Adam, holding my book of Shakespearean Sonnets. My arms instinctively crossed in front of my chest. A slow smirk began to appear on Adam's lips.