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Chapter 11- Wonderment

Belle's most beautiful features were only accentuated by the sound of her voice. I could never get enough of hearing it. The first night she served me as my personal barmaid was an eventful one. After a bit more conversation when she had given me my last drink of the night, I decided to retire earlier than usual and gave her a ride to her dormitory. She took my offer up, apprehensively.

As I helped Belle up into the carriage, holding her hand to steady her as she took on the stairs climbing into the seat, I made sure she took no notice to Lumiere for fear she may uneventfully run into him on campus.

"Arabella, where shall I ask the driver to drop you off?"

"Um… the campus library would be best thank you," she replied.

I smirked under my hood, assured she didn't see my face for the hood had cloaked it so well, but I thought it was definitely calculated that she didn't want me to know where she lived. This meant she truly did not find me familiar at all. Perhaps my disguise was doing its job, and very well for that matter.

After I got out of the carriage and told Lumiere to drop us off at the campus library.

"Arabella, are you a student at the University near here?" I questioned pretending to be inquisitive, as I returned taking my seat opposite of her.

Belle looked forward to the distance, and nodded her head. I could tell she felt uncomfortable telling me more. I didn't want to press on, though if she saw me in my true form, I was convinced that true Adam would try to get her out of it.

"You must be proud to be accepted into such a University," I stated.

"I am," Belle's voice cracked softly. I began to see tears streaming down her face as she covered her cheeks with her delicate hands and dainty fingers. Silent sighs convulsing her body in rhythmic sorrow.

I took every ounce of me to not gather her up in my arms and kiss her tears away. How upsetting she must be. To resort working at a Tavern to make ends meet. I felt completely sorry that I had approached her so aggressively earlier, remembering me holding her wrist. I glanced to her left hand and noted the dark mark upon her wrist made by my aggression. I gritted through my teeth feeling my fist naturally clench then unclench, angered by my own wrong doing.

"I'm sorry, so sorry," she whispered breathily.

"Don't be Arabella, there's never a need to be sorry with me," I handed her a handkerchief of mine. It too had the same rose emblem like my tattoo embroidered at the corner of it.

"Thank you," she stated softly.

I didn't press her on any further. I noted as the sound of the horse's hooves hitting the ground had a calming effect on her.

"I miss my father," she stated silently. "I'm afraid I'm not as wealthy as the other students, having me to be so desperate to work at the Tavern."

"Your father must dearly love you and believe in you to let you not only attend here, but be successful while he is far away. Is he far away?"

"No, not too far," she quietly replied dabbing her eyes with the handkerchief. "He is a day's travel away maybe a little more by horse. He literally is all I have. He's the kindest soul I've ever known."

"How about your mother? How does she compare?"

"My mother is no more."

I looked over at her surprised and torn by the statement. I too had lost my mom and I blame my father for her absence every day.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

Belle shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not sure. She passed away when I was about 5 or 6. She had this constant stomach pain that didn't go away for weeks. The worst part was in the beginning of my mother's sickness my parents both thought it could possibly be infectious, so they kept me far away from her as possible. I was no longer allowed to hug her, to sleep with her, to read with her. They kept me in a separate room when I slept. I guess, I could understand their concern and worry for me. Finally when they realized my father and I were not catching what she had and the doctor had confirmed it so, I was allowed to see her more often and talk to her. I was fortunate enough to have hugged and spoken to my mom at least the last days of her life. "

"I'm sorry for your loss Arabella," I surmised through my tightened jaw.

All of a sudden the sound of the hooves of the horse was no more.

"It seems like we have arrived to your destination," I said as I got up letting her out.

"Thank you," she replied without looking up from the ground. She smoothed down her skirt and placed the shawl over her head.

"By the way, do you think you can bring something to read out loud to me next time? Anything you like- your choice," I asked.

"Of course," she replied nodding her head, still gazing at the ground.

"I will see you tomorrow night, and every night," I stated laced with a bit of a command.

"Yes. You will," she replied. She quickly turned to me this time lifting her gaze to my chest.

"I don't know if it's too soon to thank you, as I probably have only gotten just a taste of the demands you will be asking me here on out. But your promise to not touch me and just need me to give your drinks and company….well…I want to thank you for your offer. You have no idea how this will financially help me and my family. "

"Don't thank me yet," I warned. "You're right I've promised you all that, but I can be demanding and selfish. You've been warned. My demeanor itself can be taxing on a soul."

She nodded understanding what I meant by that. "Still, thank you anyway," she replied and walked into the direction of the dormitory.

By the time I got to my room, I was far ahead of her. I came by carriage while she on foot, so when I returned I looked out my balcony to make sure she had gotten home just fine. I saw a little shadow taking the stairs to the entrance, as I looked on from above.

It was Belle, I confirmed as she lifted her shawl to unveil her beautiful face. She was safe.

The next morning, I noted I would be having Sonnet class with her, but I decided not to attend any classes that day. I was going to skip. I felt awful, probably a light hangover since I had a headache and decided to sleep in.

A few hours later, I was woken by consistent light taps on the door. Its rhythms reminded me of a clock signaling for midnight.

As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I got up and looked to the direction of the door. The knocking had stopped. I looked in the mirror briefly combed my tresses with my fingers tying it behind loosely, put a shirt on and some pants.

As I began to clean around the room the soft knocking occurred again. I looked through the peep hole. It was Belle. I frantically pulled down my sleeve to hide the tattoo. I was pretty proud of myself to remember that slight defining detail. I threw the cloak that was on the floor into my armoire and closed it tight.

I cleared my throat a bit and drank some water from a glass near my side table. I went to open the door in clear anticipation.

"Hello Belle," I greeted as I squinted my eyes to the light entering the room from the hallway.

"Adam," she replied nodding my salutation. "I came here to give you this," she held a piece of paper to my chest. I took it out of her hand and unfolded it.

"We're partners? The sonnet professor is assigning us to be partners?" I was dumbfounded.

Belle nodded. "Yes, we didn't have a choice it was done alphabetically," she stated as she helped herself to the chair of my desk.

I sat across from her on my bed.

"You don't seem so excited to be partners with me," I noted.

She looked up. Her brown eyes sparked a hint of anger. "Can you blame me? You nearly tore my wrist off!"

I rubbed my face with my hand gliding my forefinger and thumb between my eyes.

"I'm sorry Belle, and really I am really sorry. I don't know what came over me."

A look of disdain appeared on Belle's face. Still wasn't good enough. Nothing ever was when it came to her unfortunately.

"Don't make me apologize again I have a headache," I gritted through my teeth.

Looking a bit distraught Belle sat her bag down and came over to my bedside.

"Do you mind?" she asked. I nodded in approval.

She placed her hands on my head and looked to my face, and gasped.

"Your eyes look positively red! What did you do last night? Are you ill? You don't seem to have a fever," she affirmed as she placed the back of her left hand across my forehead and neck. A gesture that reminded me of my late mother's. Soft and warm to the touch all at once.

I shook my head, "no I'm not ill. I'm afraid I have another thing to blame."

She looked at me perplexed, awaiting me to continue on. She tried to place her hand on me once again, but I winced back. I didn't want her to touch me while I felt so vile and unfitting inside.

"Fine, I won't touch you," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"Good, don't!" I warned. Belle's face looked shocked, as her eyes widened. "I'm sorry Belle; I didn't mean to say it like that. The way you touched me now, so caringly is undeserving considering the bruise I have given you on your wrist," I surmised as I looked on to her wrist.

"Belle, let's promise each other something. You don't ask me too many questions, and I won't ask you too many either."

Belle looked at me surprisingly. "Agreed," she kindly retorted and took the chair across from my bed again.

"What happened to your usual leaving for the library after our Sonnet's class," I asked looking up.

"I no longer feel the need to go. Maybe that rainy day turned me off from going there," she smiled, looking out beyond the balcony. "You have a beautiful room. I don't have a balcony in mine. Why this room is twice the size of Ariel's and mine!" she continued as she looked around the room. I followed her gaze to my curtains, the balcony, and the armoire.

"Part of the perks. Why do you and Ariel share? I know Ariel's family is wealthy if not more than mine," I questioned.

Belle shrugged her shoulders. "Some people enjoy the company of other's and the true experience of University I suppose. You seem to be a loner though," she affirmed.

"I am. I prefer to keep my life very private."

"What and just stay in the room the whole day cooped up here?"

"Yes I prefer to be cooped up then go to classes where the friends I try to make don't reject me."

"I never rejected you! You just changed on me, so I felt taken aback!"

"Who said I was talking about you?" I grunted as I looked up from my position. I placed my forehead back on my hands. The headache was pulsating in pain.

"Are you ok? I can come back another time," she offered.

I shook my head.

"Fine like this. So what did you want to discuss? Obviously the project no doubt."

"Yes. The assignment is pretty open for creativity. We are to pick a sonnet and do whatever we want with it."

"No guidelines?"

"None! Isn't that amazing. University really is more freeing isn't it?"

"I guess so. My creative juices are just not flowing as much right now to really help with any ideas."

"Well would you mind if I pick the sonnet? I could at least get started on that for us," Belle offered.

"Of course. That would be good," I agreed. "Thanks for offering Belle. And sorry I couldn't be of any more help," I replied as I rubbed my eyes.

"Don't do that Adam. You'll irritate your eyes more," she stated as she got up to come closer to me.

"I know, I know. My mother would say the same thing when I guess allergies would kick in when we were on estates farther way from the ocean," I mumbled.

"Your mother sounds like a smart woman," replied Belle with a smile.

"She was a very smart woman," I replied as I glanced down to the ground.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know she passed on-"

"It's ok," I interrupted, dismissing her. I didn't want to talk about the subject further.

"You know I lost my mother as well, at young age."

I had already known that but, this was the first time she thought she was knowingly telling me.

"I see," was my simple reply as I rubbed my eyes again. This time I walked to the basin and splashed cold water on my face. I blindly looked for the towel that was normally beside it, and I felt Belle's presence close.

"Here," she said as she handed me the towel.

"Thanks," I grumbled. I was beginning to feel very embarrassed by her being in my room. A room not too many people have seen or are allowed to.

"Don't you have other things to do?" I asked as I looked down on her. She was tiny compared to my stance.

She took a step back.

"Well excuse me! I thought I was helping you just now!"

"I don't need your help woman!" I huffed as I turned my heel, and plopped on my bed.

"Fine," cried Belle with clenched fists. "I don't need this disrespect and ungratefulness. I will go."

"Finally, some peace and quiet," I whispered loud enough for her to hear. I was only taunting to her. It was very easy to get her fired up.

"I heard that Adam!" Belle stated.

I heard the door slam behind her.

I brought the pillow to my face and howled a loud scream of pain into it.

Why was it when I was in disguise I could be the calmest soul to her, but in my true form I could be short and angry. My temper was the cause of my many downfalls, and I was seeing one right in front of me, with a woman I was deeply attracted to.

The only cure for a hangover was to have another one I concluded. Looks like another night at the tavern would be the only solution to take away the pain.