ADAM'S POV
I woke up the next morning pretty wired. I was proud of myself that I didn't drink too much to the point it put me to sleep especially since the thought of Phillip taking Belle to the dance made me feel completely hopeless. Maybe these were baby steps to some type of self-improvement. Maybe.
Looking out the window I was surprised to see that snow had sprinkled on the campus last night. There was a dusting of white on the trees and grass. Some of the walkways on campus had already been cleaned. It seemed that Winter wasn't just around the corner, it was already here.
I brushed my teeth and put on a clean outfit so I could head to class. I looked in the mirror to comb my hair. I paused at the reflection I saw -the face of a coward. Someone who was not willing to tell the person he loved how he felt. I was beginning to feel more and more like my father. He was always so closed off and angry. He never let anyone into his heart. Not even my mom. I knew that was one of the many reasons that strained their relationship, leading her to her fateful demise.
If I kept this up, would it lead to my own demise one day?
I came a little early to class, and saw Aurora already seated, sitting next to Snow.
I decided to tell Aurora who Phillip was going with before the professor came in to start to teach. As expected, she was not too happy to hear Belle's name. I couldn't blame her. In a perfect world, Aurora should've been going with Phillip and I should've been going with Belle Thankfully, Aurora agreed to go with me. We were both sad though. We weren't going with the people we truly desired to go with.
After class, I didn't want to walk around campus too much. I was afraid I'd bump into Belle. Part of me was thinking to roll into town to see Eric and Ariel, but I didn't want to take away from their limited precious time together. So I decided to head back to my room.
I made my lunch that day. I made some pasta and some vegetables. The whole time I was cooking, I could easily picture Belle in the kitchen right next to me like we did when we made Chicken Noodle soup. She was so easy to talk to, to work with, and to cook with. I missed her. Tonight was the night of the induction ceremony. It sucked we couldn't have this night together.
After a bite to eat and catching up on a few short assignments I showered and then got ready for the event. I kept thinking over in my head as I was getting ready, how I could've just summed up the courage to tell Belle how I felt about her after we had said goodbye to Eric and Ariel at dinner.
As I dabbed some cologne to my neck I heard a knock at the door. I assumed it was Lumiere ready with the carriage for me to pick up Aurora however, I was pleasantly surprised by two unexpected guests.
"Eric? Ariel? You guys shouldn't be around here!" I hurried them to come inside and then looked around the hall to make sure no one saw them. Especially Eric. If any of King Triton's spies were around he could be in grave danger.
"Adam, we need to talk to you," said Eric.
"What could be so important to make you risk your life by coming here to talk to me?" I asked Eric directly to Eric as I quickly shut the door behind us.
"It's about Belle," Ariel replied. "I told Eric something and well, we kind of put our information together and realized something."
I looked on. Were they going to tell me or what? I could see Ariel and Eric exchanging wary glances. "Guys you risked your lives to show up on the grounds of the Parthenon so out with it!" I pressed as I sat at the table with them.
"Well," Ariel started, as she began to squeeze her fingers out of nervousness "Belle is in love."
I looked on in shock. Oh god! What I had feared the worst had come true. She was in love with Phillip! That explained it all!
As if Eric could read my thoughts he quickly snapped me out of it.
"My friend," Eric chimed in, "Belle is in love with you."
I stood up straight from my chair.
Did I just hear correctly?
"She said that," I said a little too excitedly.
Eric chuckled. "Ariel and I were talking and it seems Belle is in love with her disguised personal customer."
"I'll be damned," I said as I forced my hands into my pockets striding to the balcony. I could hear Ariel and Eric following me from behind.
"And when I told Eric, he told me that you had confessed to him that you were the one in disguise at the tavern! Is it true Adam? Do you love Belle?" Ariel asked as she came to my side.
"You going to tell her?" Eric asked.
I looked down as I went to the balcony and rested my hands on the ledge.
"No."
"No? What do you mean no?" asked Ariel in a frenzy.
"Why would you hide this from her?" Eric added.
"She's not in love with me."
"Um, yeah she is we just told you. She loves the disguised personal customer she serves at the tavern. That's you," reminded Ariel.
"But once she finds out it's me under that cloak she'll be, one: pissed I lied to her the entire time, especially since we're project partners, and two: when she discovers it's me under that cloak, she'll change her mind about her feelings towards me. She has this vision of who the secret man in the tavern is. The idea of the man in her head is way out of my league."
"You think Belle's that superficial?" I could tell Ariel was shocked. I knew full and well she thought of her roommate highly.
"I do not believe Belle is superficial at all. It's just I know she doesn't like me because….well I just know."
"Adam, once Belle finds out that it's been you all along in that disguise she's going to realize how much you care for her. You gave her mother's necklace as a generous and thoughtful gift. It shows how much you care for her. You've held her honor intact by keeping her job a secret, and defended her when some of the customers bothered her. If that doesn't scream compassion and love I don't know what does! Of course, she'll continue to love you after you reveal the truth to her."
"Then why is she going to the induction ceremony with Phillip?"
"Wait what?" Ariel cried. "Aurora's Phillip?"
"They broke up. So since Phillip's single and available, he asked Belle and she said yes."
"Why didn't you ask her?" asked Eric frustratingly.
"I was going to ask her last night if I could escort her to the induction ceremony but Phillip beat me to the punch. He asked her a few days before."
I could see Ariel frowning. It's not like classes have been going that long, and Ariel wasn't even around campus lately yet she even knew of Phillip and Aurora's closeness.
"What do you think she's going to do if I tell her I'm the disguised man she serves at work?" I exclaimed in frustration.
"I think she's going to be very relieved. She told me so Adam! She told me how she's developed feelings for the disguised customer she serves," pressed Ariel.
"All this time you've known that Ariel, has she brought up her feelings or any thoughts about me?" I asked.
"No, but I think if you tell her….oh." Ariel paused. She sighed and turned to look back out to the sky.
I came up behind her. I could sense she was not telling me something, something I needed to hear. "Ariel. What are you not telling me?" I asked.
"Well….it's just that, Belle wasn't sure, but she sort of thought you may have feelings for her.'
My jaw dropped.
"I hate betraying my friend's trust like this Adam, but can you honestly deny that she wouldn't know that? You would talk to her after class, and apparently, there's all this gossip about you liking her-"
"-that's because we're sonnet partners," I said cutting her off.
"Nevertheless, people can see you have feelings for her. I could kind of tell. It's no surprise that Belle could kind of tell too. But she did say..." Ariel's voice trailed off again as she looked on at Eric.
Eric wrapped a supportive arm around Ariel.
"Hey love, just be honest, I'm sure Belle won't mind," Eric said encouragingly.
Ariel looked at me with a very sad face.
"Adam remember a couple of days ago when the four of us went out on the town?"
I nodded.
"Well," she continued, "as I helped her get ready I commented that Adam will be speechless seeing you so glammed up. She replied saying...it wasn't you, her heart pined for."
It was Eric's turn to drop his jaw.
"Ariel, didn't you think it would've been a good idea for you to have shared that with me before coming here and talking to Adam?"
I could hear them in the distance arguing, something about how Ariel was excited for Belle and me, and Eric retorting with how sensitive I was. It didn't matter, I had already tuned them out. It was plain and simple. She had no feelings for me. It was settled.
"Oh Adam, hear me out!" Ariel pleaded as she came to my side. "Yes, I forgot that detail because I got excited when Eric told me you were the cloaked customer because while her heart doesn't pine for you, in reality, she doesn't know it but it does pine for you! She will realize it all once she knows that you're the exact person she does have feelings for because you're the cloaked customer. It's you who has captured her heart. Don't you see Adam? She's fallen for you."
"Ariel, I know you mean well, but as I said before, she's fallen for who she thinks the tavern hero is, and whoever this man she's conjured up in her mind will always be someone who's out of my league. When she finds out it's me she won't be happy. She'll be disappointed. Why would I want to disappoint her?
"Adam you need to try and tell her how you feel." I could tell Ariel was trying her best to convince me. I wish she was able to but there was no way in hell, she could change my mind. I wasn't going to risk any humiliation or worse rejection. This was the first time I loved somebody in a long long time. Since my mom passed away in fact. I wanted to leave it pure and intact.
I could feel Eric's hands grab my shoulders, a gesture he did often when he needed to reason with me.
"Eric stop," I ordered sternly shrugging his hands off my shoulders.
"You can't keep doing this to yourself."
"Do what?"
"Punish yourself constantly when you feel worthless."
"Eric, you need to shut up," I said pushing him off of me as I retreated to the room.
"Then stop it." Eric wasn't letting it go, and I needed him to just stop.
"Will you drop it?" I roared. I could see Ariel feeling confused and uncomfortable that we were getting heated. I know what Eric was trying to do, and I wanted him to stop.
"No! Just because your mother killed herself does not mean she didn't love you."
"I wasn't worth her love enough to live, so how am I worth it to anyone at all?" I gruffed as I went to the armoire to look for something different to wear. Something I needed for going out.
"What are you doing?" Eric pressed.
"Induction Ceremonies are lame. I'm headed to a place I know will be more fun."
"But Adam what about Aurora? You said you're going with her tonight. She'll be waiting for you," Ariel pointed out.
"Screw it all," I huffed. As I got my cloak out. "She won't care. She'll just go solo. I can't bear to see Belle with that….prissy bastard."
"So that's it? You're going to give up and get yourself drunk and wasted? That's how we still deal with our emotions. Right, Adam?"
"Beats getting high," I countered, noting his sarcastic tone.
"No, it sucks just as much as that, so your argument is lame." Eric bit back, as he crossed his arms.
"Eric calm down! This is not helping," I could hear Ariel plead, trying to calm us down but to her dismay, Eric ignored her as he persisted getting in front of my face.
"If you're going to a Tavern so am I," said Eric.
"Eric, you can't do that," I heard Ariel cry. "If someone sees you they'll report you to my father and then your visit will be cut short!"
"Listen to your girl Eric. I'm out."
Eric came to the door and blocked it before I could open it.
"That's the price I'm going to have to pay I guess Ariel. If Adam goes I go too. I've got to protect him unless of course he comes to his senses and changes his mind."
I could tell what he was doing. Guilting me out till I succumbed to his command, and he was using Ariel as bait, and it was working. I could see Ariel's big blue eyes becoming watery. I didn't want to make her upset, and this desperate sight of her was pulling on my heartstrings.
"Don't do this to Ariel," I warned Eric. "Don't put me in the middle of it, Eric. That's messed up."
"No, what's messed up is that you are making me insert myself in this. My poor girlfriend will be upset if I go with you because she's right. It's risking a lot. Hell! Coming here risked a lot, but I'll be damned if I ever let my best girl or best friend get hurt."
"I don't need your help, Eric. Trust me." I was seething through my teeth.
Eric got closer to my face. "Then do us both a favor and help yourself by not going out and getting wasted."
"You'll be sorry if you don't get out of my way Eric."
"What are you going to do? Beat me up?" Eric challenged. I sighed and backed up.
"Eric move!" I commanded angrily. I could hear Ariel in the background pleading with both of us to stop.
"Or what?" he challenged pounding his fists on his chest in two quick beats.
Game on. He wasn't going to let this go.
I stood up straight looking at him completely unstirred but I could feel my anger boil and bubble. He knew I got like this when I felt jilted or left behind. It's not like I was going to go for narcotics. I'm not the way I used to be. Was getting a glass or two of some hard scotch that bad?
"Eric, I'm not going to lay a finger on you, now step off," I ordered, through gritted teeth.
"No." he replied forcefully not budging an inch.
"Fine!" I roared as I slammed the cloak to the floor. I saw Ariel jump at the sound of my voice. I stormed back to the balcony pacing back and forth. I could hear Eric follow, and Ariel retreated to sitting in a chair, being careful to just stay back.
I felt bad, maybe all the commotion had gotten to Ariel.
"I won't go to the Tavern." I sighed as I placed my arms on the balcony to hold myself up.
Eric rested his arms on the balcony next to me nodding. "I know."
"I don't know how to deal with this right now. The last time I felt so rejected…"
"You went spiraling down. I know I was there," Eric said as if he was reading my mind. "So don't do that this time. You know what to do."
"Yeah, I've got to pull up my bootstraps and just deal with it head-on."
"Yes, and that means telling her how you truly feel about her. You've got to talk to her. You know, do that thing that most people do when they see each other, I think it's called communication." Eric was in a full smirk.
"Wow, the guy's got jokes," I retorted.
Eric shrugged. "Jokes aside, you need to. And not behind some disguise. You have to do it as yourself, as you, -as Adam."
"You know what's so funny? I can take on anyone in a fight like I'm talking bloodbath. I can out-drink anyone at this university. I'm not scared of any sport, of anything, of anyone but the thought of Belle possibly hating me or never even wanting to be even friends again, scares me to my soul. Unrequited love is possibly my deepest phobia. How pathetic is that?"
I could see Eric looking at me sympathetically.
I felt a hand cup my cheek. "It's not pathetic at all," said Ariel as she looked up at me teary-eyed. "Truly caring for someone is so grand beyond measure."
I smiled sadly as I wiped a tear off her cheek. I looked past her to Eric who was looking back at me in agreement and adoration towards Ariel.
"You're a lucky guy Eric," I said as I hugged Ariel. She was like a sister to me now.
"I am," said Eric as he possessively pulled Ariel back to himself. "You would be lucky too. Go get your girl, Adam. Don't be afraid. You already know how she truly feels."
I nodded. "Yeah, but how do I tell her is the question."
All of a sudden my clock chimed, indicating it had been an hour.
"As much as we'd love to stay longer to help you, staying out later than this is dangerous for Eric. Look, we're going back to the hotel. You remember where it's located right? It's on the outskirts of town past that small stream and that cute bridge. Try to get Belle away privately at the event and if you need a private space, take a carriage back to our lodge. We can give you any support you need. Just don't turn your back on this Adam. Please." Pleaded Ariel, as she and Eric hurried out my door.