Karolina opened the book hurriedly, she and everyone ells wanted to know how hurt Rose was.
EIGHTEEN
I WOKE UP STARING AT the boring white ceiling of the clinic. A filtered light—soothing to Moroi patients—shone down on me. I felt strange, kind of disoriented, but I didn't hurt.
Everyone let out a breath of relief, and relaxed back into their seats
"Rose." The voice was like silk on my skin. Gentle. Rich. Turning my head, I met Dimitri's dark eyes.
Ivan just smiled at his friend knowingly
He sat in a chair beside the bed I lay on, his shoulder-length brown hair hanging forward and framing his face. "Hey," I said, my voice coming out as a croak. "How do you feel?" "Weird. Kind of groggy." "Dr. Olendzki gave you something for the pain—you seemed pretty bad when we brought you in." "I don't remember that…How long have I been out?" "A few hours." "Must have been strong. Must still be strong."
Everyone nodded agreeing with her.
Some of the details came back. The bench. My ankle getting caught. I couldn't remember much after that. Feeling hot and cold and then hot again. Tentatively, I tried moving the toes on my healthy foot. "I don't hurt at all." He shook his head. "No. Because you weren't seriously injured." The sound of my ankle cracking came back to me.
"Could she have imagined it?" Olena and Janine asked at the same time. Alberta shook her head
"I don't think anyone can imagine that," Alberta answered
"Are you sure? I remember…the way it bent. No. Something must be broken." I manage to sit up, so I could look at my ankle. "Or at least sprained." He moved forward to stop me. "Be careful. Your ankle might be fine, but you're probably still a little out of it." I carefully shifted to the edge of the bed and looked down. My jeans were rolled up. The ankle looked a little red, but I had no bruises or serious marks. "God, I got lucky. If I'd hurt it, it would have put me out of practice for a while."
"That is what she's worried about?" Sonja shook her head. If it had been her in the same situation she would have been more worried about embarrassing herself in front of her crush
Smiling, he returned to his chair. "I know. You kept telling me that while I was carrying you. You were very upset." "You…you carried me here?"
"That must have made her happy," Adrian teased smiling at Dimitri. Adrian just got glares from Abe and Dimitri
"After we broke the bench apart and freed your foot." Man. I'd missed out on a lot. The only thing better than imagining Dimitri carrying me in his arms was imagining him shirtless while carrying me in his arms.
Janine rolled her eyes, while the Belikov girls just smiled and giggled
Then the reality of the situation hit me. "I was taken down by a bench," I groaned. "What?" "I survived the whole day guarding Lissa, and you guys said I did a good job. Then, I get back here and meet my downfall in the form of a bench." Ugh.
"Now the embarrassment sets in," Sonja smiled
"Do you know how embarrassing it is? And all those guys saw, too." "It wasn't your fault," he said. "No one knew the bench was rotted. It looked fine." "Still. I should have just stuck to the sidewalk like a normal person. The other novices are going to give me shit when I get back." His lips held back a smile. "Maybe presents will cheer you up." I sat up straighter.
"Well you're not wrong," Victoria smiled at Dimitri. Olena and Yeva just nodded approving of Dimitri. Hell even Abe was happy that Dimitri had gotten something for Rose
"Presents?" The smile escaped, and he handed me a small box with a piece of paper. "This is from Prince Victor."
Ivan just looked worried. Ivan knew that Victor knew Rose, but Ivan has never heard of a royal Moroi getting something for another moroi's guardian. Tatiana just shook her head. She was going to have a serious discussion with Victor, he should not be getting Rose any presents
Surprised that Victor would have given me anything, I read the note. It was just a few lines, hastily scrawled in pen. Rose—I'm very happy to see you didn't suffer any serious injuries from your fall. Truly, it is a miracle. You lead a charmed life, and Vasilisa is lucky to have you.
Everyone moved uneasily in their seats. They were worried about why Rose wasn't injured, so far everything is showing that she should have been hurt. Ivan was feeling uneasy about the Victor said it was a miracle
"That's nice of him," I said, opening the box. Then I saw what was inside. "Whoa. Very nice." It was the rose necklace, the one Lissa had wanted to get me but couldn't afford.
"Okay that is a little creepy," Christian said looking around. A few of the people in the room nodded agreeing with him.
I held it up, looping its chain over my hand so the glittering, diamond-covered rose hung free. "This is pretty extreme for a get-well present," I noted, recalling the price. "He actually bought it in honor of you doing so well on your first day as an official guardian. He saw you and Lissa looking at it."
"You're not making in any less creepy," Adrian smiled. Ivan nudged Dimitri.
"He's the one doing all this," Ivan whispered at Dimitri who just looked at his friend.
"Just because he's acting creepy and buying a teenager expensive gifts doesn't make him the one ordering Natalie around," Dimitris whispered back, but as he thought about what he just said he understood what Ivan was meaning
"See," Ivan whispered seeing the look on Dimitri's face
"Wow." It was all I could say. "I don't think I did that good of a job." "I do." Grinning, I placed the necklace back in the box and set it on a nearby table. "You did say 'presents,‟ right? Like more than one?"
"She doesn't miss anything," Christian shook his head
He laughed outright, and the sound wrapped around me like a caress. God, I loved the sound of his laugh.
"We all do," Olena said smiling at her son. All of Dimitri's sibling agreed with their mother
"This is from me." He handed me a small, plain bag. Puzzled and excited, I opened it up. Lip gloss, the kind I liked.
Janine, Abe and Adrian gave Dimitri questioned looks. While Alberta, Yeva and Ivan just smiled. Dimitri and Adrian were curious to see what type of lip gloss Rose liked. Christian just wondered what Lissa would like
I'd complained to him a number of times how I was running out, but I'd never thought he was paying attention. "How'd you manage to buy this? I saw you the whole time at the mall." "Guardian secrets." "What's this for? For my first day?" "No," he said simply. "Because I thought it would make you happy."
"Smooth," Adrian rolled his eyes.
Without even thinking about it, I leaned forward and hugged him. "Thank you." Judging from his stiff posture, I'd clearly caught him by surprise.
"well there is always a first," Victoria smiled happy that someone had been able to surprise Dimitri
And yeah…I'd actually caught myself by surprise, too. But he relaxed a few moments later, and when he reached around and rested his hands on my lower back, I thought I was going to die. "I'm glad you're better," he said. His mouth sounded like it was almost in my hair, just above my ear. "When I saw you fall…" "You thought, 'Wow, she's a loser.' " "That's not what I thought." He pulled back slightly, so he could see me better, but we didn't say anything. His eyes were so dark and deep that I wanted to dive right in. Staring at them made me feel warm all over, like they had flames inside.
Ivan couched trying to hide his laughter. Could the two be anymore oblivious to the fact that they liked each other?
Slowly, carefully, those long fingers of his reached out and traced the edge of my cheekbone, moving up the side of my face. At the first touch of his skin on mine, I shivered. He wound a lock of my hair around one finger, just like he had in the gym. Swallowing, I dragged my eyes up from his lips. I'd been contemplating what it'd be like to kiss him. The thought both excited and scared me, which was stupid. I'd kissed a lot of guys and never thought much about it. No reason another one—even an older one—should be that big of a deal. Yet the thought of him closing the distance and bringing his lips to mine made the world start spinning.
Abe and Janine looked at each other silently agreeing to have a talk with Dimitri
A soft knock sounded at the door, and I hastily leaned back.
Everyone let out the breath they were holding. Adrian was the happiest because it meant he still had a shot
Dr. Olendzki stuck her head in. "I thought I heard you talking. How do you feel?" She walked over and made me lie back down. Touching and bending my ankle, she assessed it for damage and finally shook her head when finished. "You're lucky. With all the noise you made coming in here, I thought your foot had been amputated. Must have just been shock." She stepped back. "I'd feel better if you sat out from your normal trainings tomorrow, but otherwise, you're good to go."
"Thank goodness," Abe said, happy that his daughter had not been hurt terribly
I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't remember my hysteria—and was actually kind of embarrassed that I'd thrown such a fit—but I had been right about the problems this would have caused me if I'd broken or sprained it. I couldn't afford to lose any time here; I needed to take my trials and graduate in the spring. Dr. Olendzki gave me the okay to go and then left the room. Dimitri walked over to another chair and brought me my shoes and coat. Looking at him, I felt a warm flush sweep me as I recalled what had happened before the doctor had entered. He watched as I slipped one of the shoes on. "You have a guardian angel." "I don't believe in angels," I told him. "I believe in what I can do for myself."
Bothe Abe and Janine nodded agreeing with Rose. Yeva and Olena just shook their heads
"Well then, you have an amazing body." I glanced up at him with a questioning look.
Karolina, Sonja and Victoria laughed almost falling out of their seats. Yeva and Olena just shook their heads
"For healing, I mean. I heard about the accident…" He didn't specify which accident it was, but it could be only one. Talking about it normally bothered me, but with him, I felt I could say anything. "Everyone said I shouldn't have survived," I explained.
A shuttered when though everyone
"Because of where I sat and the way the car hit the tree. Lissa was really the only one in a secure spot. She and I walked away with only a few scratches." "And you don't believe in angels or miracles." "Nope. I—" Truly, it is a miracle. You lead a charmed life…. And just like that, a million thoughts came slamming into my head. Maybe…maybe I had a guardian angel after all…
"Lissa healed Rose," Alberta said shocked. They had known that Lissa could heal people, but they didn't think in that sense and not in front of so many people.
"Random question what is Victor's speciality?' Ivan asked acting like he suspected nothing.
"Earth," Tatiana said not understanding why he wanted to know that. Ivan just shared a look with Dimitri who understood what that meant
Dimitri immediately noticed the shift in my feelings. "What's wrong?" Reaching out with my mind, I tried to expand the bond and shake off the lingering effects of the pain medication. Some more of Lissa's feelings came through to me. Anxious. Upset. "Where's Lissa? Was she here?" "I don't know where she is. She wouldn't leave your side while I brought you in. She stayed right next the bed, right up until the doctor came in. You calmed down when she sat next to you." I closed my eyes and felt like I might faint. I had calmed down when Lissa sat next to me because she'd taken the pain away. She'd healed me…Just as she had the night of the accident.
"Well, that answers both questions," Abe said worried for his daughter
"What do you mean?" Tatiana asked looking at Abe
"First that is how Rose survived the accident. And secondly, that was also when the bond appeared, so the two must walk hand in hand," Abe explained
It all made sense now. I shouldn't have survived. Everyone had said so. Who knew what kind of injuries I'd actually suffered? Internal bleeding. Broken bones. It didn't matter because Lissa had fixed it, just like she'd fixed everything else. That was why she'd been leaning over me when I woke up. It was also probably why she'd passed out when they took her to the hospital. She'd been exhausted for days afterward. And that was when her depression had begun.
The room grew silent. They didn't like the idea of everything having to do with the accident
It had seemed like a normal reaction after losing her family, but now I wondered if there was more to it, if healing me had played a role. Opening my mind again, I reached out to her, needing to find her. If she'd healed me, there was no telling what shape she could be in now. Her moods and magic were linked, and this had been a pretty intense show of magic.
Everyone made a note of that
The drug was almost gone from my system, and like that, I snapped into her. It was almost easy now. A tidal wave of emotions hit me, worse than when her nightmares engulfed me. I'd never felt such intensity from her before. She sat in the chapel's attic, crying. She didn't entirely know why she was crying either. She felt happy and relieved that I'd been unharmed, that she'd been able to heal me. At the same time, she felt weak in both body and mind. She burned inside, like she'd lost part of herself.
Christian was worried, he didn't like how that sounded
She worried I'd be mad because she'd used her powers. She dreaded going through another school day tomorrow, pretending she liked being with a crowd who had no other interests aside from spending their families‟ money and making fun of those less beautiful and less popular. She didn't want to go to the dance with Aaron and see him watch her so adoringly—and feel him touching her—when she felt only friendship for him.
"Poor girl, she needs a hug and a year away from all the royals," Yeva said shaking her head sadly. Christian and everyone but Tatiana agreed
Most of these were all normal concerns, but they hit her hard, harder than they would an ordinary person, I thought. She couldn't sort through them or figure out how to fix them. "You okay?" She looked up and brushed the hair away from where it stuck to her wet cheeks. Christian stood in the entrance to the attic.
"Help her," Victoria said looking at Christian who hoped that he would be able to help her
She hadn't even heard him come up the stairs. She'd been too lost in her own grief. A flicker of both longing and anger sparked within her. "I'm fine," she snapped. Sniffling, she tried to stop her tears, not wanting him to see her weak. Leaning against the wall, he crossed his arms and wore an unreadable expression. "Do…do you want to talk?" "Oh…" She laughed harshly. "You want to talk now? After I tried so many times—" "I didn't want that! That was Rose—" He cut himself off and I flinched. I was totally busted. Lissa stood up and strode toward him.
"Not good," Everyone said looking at Christian who just nodded agreeing with them
"What about Rose?" "Nothing." His mask of indifference slipped back into place. "Forget it." "What about Rose?" She stepped closer. Even through her anger, she still felt that inexplicable attraction to him. And then she understood. "She made you, didn't she? She told you to stop talking to me?" He stared stonily ahead. "It was probably for the best. I would have just messed things up for you. You wouldn't be where you are now."
"You two really know how to woo a woman," Karolina smiled looking at Dimitri and Christian who just shook their head
"What's that supposed to mean?" "What do you think it means? God. People live or die at your command now, Your Highness." "You're being kind of melodramatic." "Am I? All day, I hear people talking about what you're doing and what you're thinking and what you're wearing. Whether you'll approve. Who you like. Who you hate. They're your puppets."
"He's not wrong," Adrian said looking disapprovingly at Tatiana, who he knew like it that situation
"It's not like that. Besides, I had to do it. To get back at Mia…" Rolling his eyes, he looked away from her. "You don't even know what you're getting back at her for." Lissa's anger flared. "She set up Jesse and Ralf to say those things about Rose! I couldn't let her get away with that." "Rose is tough. She would have gotten over it." "You didn't see her," she replied obstinately. "She was crying." "So? People cry. You're crying." "Not Rose."
"Lissa is right, Rose hardly ever cried," Alberta said thinking about all the years Rose had been at the academy
He turned back to her, a dark smile curling his lips. "I've never seen anything like you two. Always so worried about each other. I get her thing—some kind of weird guardian hang-up—but you're just the same." "She's my friend."
"Could the bond affect them both that way?" Janine asked looking at around.
"No they have always been like that," Alberta answered
"I guess it's that simple. I wouldn't know." He sighed, momentarily thoughtful, then snapped back to sarcastic mode. "Anyway. Mia. So you got back at her over what she did to Rose. But you're missing the point. Why did she do it?" Lissa frowned. "Because she was jealous about me and Aaron—" "More to it than that, Princess. What did she have to be jealous about? She already had him. She didn't need to attack you to drive that home. She could have just made a big show of being all over him. Sort of like you are now," he added wryly.
"Why did Mia attack them?" Tatiana asked worried now
"Hopefully the book tells us," Olena said wanting to know why someone would want to harm Lissa
"Okay. What else is there, then? Why did she want to ruin my life? I never did anything to her—before all this, I mean." He leaned forward, crystal-blue eyes boring into hers. "You're right. You didn't—but your brother did."
"Leave him out of this," Tatiana glared looking at the book. She didn't want anyone to tarnished the Dragomir name
Lissa pulled away from him. "You don't know anything about my brother." "I know he screwed Mia over. Literally." "Stop it, stop lying." "I'm not. Swear to God or whoever else you want to believe in. I used to talk to Mia now and then, back when she was a freshman. She wasn't very popular, but she was smart. Still is. She used to work on a lot of committees with royals—dances and stuff. I don't know all of it. But she got to know your brother on one of those, and they sort of got together." "They did not. I would have known. Andre would have told me."
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but he was an ass," Christian shook his head
"Nope. He didn't tell anyone. He told her not to either. He convinced her it should be some kind of romantic secret when really, he just didn't want any of his friends to find out he was getting naked with a non-royal freshman." "If Mia told you that, she was making it up," exclaimed Lissa. "Yeah, well, I don't think she was making it up when I saw her crying. He got tired of her after a few weeks and dumped her. Told her she was too young and that he couldn't really get serious with someone who wasn't from a good family.
Tatiana nodded agreeing with him. Everyone ells just glared at the book, not approving of how Lissa's bother was acting
From what I understand, he wasn't even nice about it either—didn't even bother with the 'let's be friends' stuff." Lissa pushed herself into Christian's face. "You didn't even know Andre! He would never have done that." "You didn't know him. I'm sure he was nice to his baby sister; I'm sure he loved you. But in school, with his friends, he was just as much of a jerk as the rest of the royals. I saw him because I see everything. Easy when no one notices you."
All the dhampirs nodded thinking about everything they saw
She held back a sob, unsure whether to believe him or not. "So this is why Mia hates me?" "Yup. She hates you because of him. That, and because you're royal and she's insecure around all royals, which is why she worked so hard to claw up the ranks and be their friend. I think it's a coincidence that she ended up with your ex-boyfriend, but now that you're back, that probably made it worse. Between stealing him and spreading those stories about her parents, you guys really picked the best ways to make her suffer. Nice work."
"She asked for it," Adrian said looking at Christian who nodded
The smallest pang of guilt lurched inside of her. "I still think you're lying." "I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar. That's your department. And Rose's." "We don't—" "Exaggerate stories about people's families? Say that you hate me? Pretend to be friends with people you think are stupid? Date a guy you don't like?" "I like him." "Like or like?" "Oh, there's a difference?" "Yes. Like is when you date a big, blond moron and laugh at his stupid jokes."
"Now you sound like Rose," Victoria laughed. Christian just glared at her before smiling
Then, out of nowhere, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was hot and fast and furious, an outpouring of the rage and passion and longing that Christian always kept locked inside of him. Lissa had never been kissed like that, and I felt her respond to it, respond to him—how he made her feel so much more alive than Aaron or anyone else could.
Christian smiled as Tatiana glared at him.
"Just keep it in your pants, wouldn't want Rose to see," Adrian laughed at Christian who just blushed before frowning. He didn't want Rose to see him naked
Christian pulled back from the kiss but still kept his face next to hers. "That's what you do with someone you like." Lissa's heart pounded with both anger and desire. "Well, I don't like or like you. And I think you and Mia are both lying about Andre. Aaron would never make up anything like that." "That's because Aaron doesn't say anything that requires words of more than one syllable." She pulled away.
"And you just ruined the mood, now she is going to be pissed," Sonja shook her head
"Well Lissa needed to know that," Christian defended his book self
"Get out. Get away from me." He looked around comically. "You can't throw me out. We both signed the lease." "Get. Out!" she yelled. "I hate you!" He bowed. "Anything you want, Your Highness." With a final dark look, he left the attic. Lissa sank to her knees, letting out the tears she'd held back from him. I could barely make sense out of all the things hurting her. God only knew things upset me—like the Jesse incident—but they didn't attack me in the same way. They swirled within her, beating at her brain. The stories about Andre. Mia's hate. Christian's kiss. Healing me. This, I realized, was what real depression felt like. What madness felt like.
The room was silent. Everyone wanted to help Lissa but they didn't know-how. None of them had ever gone through what she had
Overcome, drowning in her own pain, Lissa made the only decision she could. The only thing she could do to channel all of these emotions. She opened up her purse and found the tiny razor blade she always carried… Sickened, yet unable to break away, I felt as she cut her left arm, making perfectly even marks, watching as the blood flowed across her white skin. As always, she avoided veins, but her cuts were deeper this time. The cutting stung horribly, yet in doing it, she was able to focus on the physical pain, distract herself from the mental anguish so that she could feel like she was in control.
The mothers in the room were holding back their tears, they just wanted to comfort the girl and tell her that everything would be okay and that they would fix everything
Drops of blood splattered onto the dusty floor, and her world began spinning. Seeing her own blood intrigued her. She had taken blood from others her entire life. Me. The feeders. Now, here it was, leaking out. With a nervous giggle, she decided it was funny. Maybe by letting it out, she was giving it back to those she'd stolen it from. Or maybe she was wasting it, wasting the sacred Dragomir blood that everyone obsessed over.
"She needs help," Tatiana said looking at Alberta
"She had Rose and Christian and herself that is all she needs. Plus what is your plan to drug her. Let her work through all her emotions on her own. When she needs help she will ask for it," Ivan glared at Tatiana who just looked at him
I'd forced my way into her head, and now I couldn't get out. Her emotions had ensnared me now—they were too strong and too powerful. But I had to escape—I knew it with every ounce of my being. I had to stop her. She was too weak from the healing to lose this much blood. It was time to tell someone. Breaking out at last, I found myself back in the clinic. Dimitri's hands were on me, gently shaking me as he said my name over and over in an effort to get my attention.
Dimitri could imagine how terrified he must have been in that moment
Dr. Olendzki stood beside him, face dark and concerned. I stared at Dimitri, truly seeing how much he worried and cared about me. Christian had told me to get help, to go to someone I trusted about Lissa. I'd ignored the advice because I didn't trust anyone except her. But looking at Dimitri now, feeling that sense of understanding we shared, I knew that I did trust someone else. I felt my voice crack as I spoke. "I know where she is. Lissa. We have to help her."
"Good, now they can help her," Janine said relieved. Karolina closed the book and set it down.
"Lunchtime," Olena said getting up. Everyone got up and followed her to the kitchen
~~~~
Okay, who is going to read next?" Tatiana asked after everyone sat down again
"I will," Sonja tried to smile at the queen but she failed.
NINETEEN
IT‟S HARD TO SAY WHAT finally made me do it. I'd held on to so many secrets for so long, doing what I believed best protected Lissa. But hiding her cutting did nothing to protect her. I hadn't been able to make her stop—and really, I now wondered if it was my fault she'd ever started.
"it's not," Alberta, Abe, and Janine said at the same time.
None of this had happened until she healed me in the accident. What if she'd left me injured? Maybe I would have recovered. Maybe she would be all right today.
Adrian shook his head, he was not normal or getting better for that matter
I stayed in the clinic while Dimitri went to get Alberta. He hadn't hesitated for a second when I told him where she was. I'd said she was in danger, and he'd left immediately. Everything after that moved like some sort of slow-motion nightmare. The minutes dragged on while I waited. When he finally returned with an unconscious Lissa, a flurry arose at the clinic, one everyone wanted me kept out of. She had lost a lot of blood, and while they had a feeder on hand right away, rousing her to enough consciousness to drink proved difficult.
Everyone was shocked they found it very hard to imagine that Lissa would harm herself so bad that she would pass out. Christian felt like shit, he should have stayed and made sure she didn't hurt herself
It wasn't until the middle of the Academy's night that someone decided she was stable enough for me to visit. "Is it true?" she asked when I walked into the room. She lay on the bed, wrists heavily bandaged. I knew they'd put a lot of blood back into her, but she still looked pale to me. "They said it was you. You told them." "I had to," I said, afraid to get too close. "Liss…you cut yourself worse than you ever have. And after healing me…and then everything with Christian…you couldn't handle it. You needed help." She closed her eyes. "Christian. You know about that. Of course you do. You know about everything." "I'm sorry. I just wanted to help." "What happened to what Ms. Karp said? About keeping it all secret?"
"I doubt she meant the cutting," Abe shook his head
"She was talking about the other stuff. I don't think she'd want you to keep cutting yourself." "Did you tell them about the 'other stuff'?" I shook my head. "Not yet." She turned toward me, eyes cold. "'Yet.' But you're going to." "I have to. You can heal other people…but it's killing you." "I healed you." "I would have been okay eventually. The ankle would have healed. It's not worth what it does to you. And I think I know how it started…when you first healed me…" I explained my revelation about the accident and how all of her powers and depression had started after that. I also pointed out how our bond had formed after the accident too, though I didn't fully understand why yet.
"I don't want to know how," Janine shook her head, everyone nodded agreeing with her.
"I don't know what's going on, but this is beyond us. We need someone's help." "They'll take me away," she said flatly. "Like Ms. Karp." "I think they'll try to help you. They were all really worried. Liss, I'm doing this for you. I just want you to be okay." She turned away from me. "Get out, Rose." I did.
"Are they going to fight?" Victoria asked worried for the girls
"Most likely but it won't be long till they made up," Alberta said trying to calm the mood but it didn't help
They released her the next morning on the condition that she'd have to come back for daily visits to the counselor. Dimitri told me they also planned on putting her on some sort of medication to help with the depression. I wasn't a big fan of pills, but I'd cheer on anything that would help her. Unfortunately, some sophomore had been in the clinic for an asthma attack.
"That is not good," Everyone said at the same time
He'd seen her come in with Dimitri and Alberta. He didn't know why she'd been admitted, but that hadn't stopped him from telling people in his hall what he'd seen. They then told others at breakfast. By lunch, all the upperclassmen knew about the late-night clinic visit. And more importantly, everyone knew she wasn't speaking to me. Just like that, whatever social headway I'd made plummeted. She didn't outright condemn me, but her silence spoke legions, and people behaved accordingly.
Everyone but Tatiana shook their heads, not liking how everyone was acting
The whole day, I walked around the Academy like a ghost. People watched and occasionally spoke to me, but few made much more effort than that. They followed Lissa's lead, imitating her silence. No one was openly mean to me—they probably didn't want to risk it in case she and I patched things up. Still, I heard "blood whore" whispered here and there when someone thought I wasn't listening. Mason would have welcomed me to his lunch table, but some of his friends might not have been so nice. I didn't want to be the cause of any fights between him and them.
"That is sweet of him," Abe tried to smile but he didn't like how they all were treating his daughter
So I chose Natalie instead. "I heard Lissa tried to run away again, and you stopped her," Natalie said. No one had a clue why she'd been in the clinic yet. I hoped it stayed that way. Running away? Where in the world had that come from? "Why would she do that?" "I don't know." She lowered her voice. "Why'd she leave before? It's just what I heard." That story raged on as the day passed, as did all sorts of rumors about why Lissa might have gone to the med clinic. Pregnancy and abortion theories were eternally popular.
Everyone rolled their eyes
Some whispered she might have gotten Victor's disease. No one even came close to guessing the truth. Leaving our last class as quickly as possible, I was astonished when Mia started walking toward me.
"This is not going to end well for her," Alberta shook her head. She prayed that Mia would make it out alive
"What do you want?" I demanded. "I can't come out and play today, little girl." "You sure have an attitude for someone who doesn't exist right now." "As opposed to you?" I asked. Remembering what Christian had said, I did feel a little sorry for her. That guilt disappeared after I took one look at her face. She might have been a victim, but now she was a monster. There was a cold, cunning look about her, very different from the desperate and depressed one from the other day.
"Oh she's out for blood," Christian shook his head, he knew that this was really not going to end well for Mia
She hadn't stayed beaten after what Andre had done to her—if that was even true, and I believed it was—and I doubted she would with Lissa either. Mia was a survivor. "She got rid of you, and you're too high and mighty to admit it." Her blue eyes practically bugged out. "Don't you want to get back at her?"
"That is never going to happen," Alberta shook her head. Everyone ells were shocked that Mia would try to get Rose to turn on Lissa
"Are you more psycho than usual? She's my best friend. And why are you still following me?" Mia tsked. "She doesn't act like it. Come on, tell me what happened at the clinic. It's something big, isn't it? She really is pregnant, right? Tell me what it is." "Go away." "If you tell me, I'll get Jesse and Ralf to say they made all that stuff up."
"Would that work?" Victoria asked looking at Alberta
"No, But Mia is signing her death certificate," Alberta answered worried about how Rose would handle everything
I stopped walking and spun around to face her. Scared, she took a few steps backward. She must have recalled some of my past threats of physical violence. "I already know they made it all up, because I didn't do any of it. And if you try to turn me against Lissa one more time, the stories are going to be about you bleeding, because I'll have ripped your throat out!"
Everyone was shocked. No-one knew what to say or what to do
My voice grew louder with each word until I practically shouted. Mia stepped back further, clearly terrified. "You really are crazy. No wonder she dropped you." She shrugged. "Whatever. I'll find out what's going on without you." When the dance came that weekend, I decided I really didn't want to go. It had sounded stupid to begin with, and I'd only been interested in going to the after-parties anyway. But without Lissa, I wasn't likely to gain admission to those. Instead, I holed up in my room, trying—and failing—to do some homework.
"Poor girl," Alberta said knowing how much Rose hated her homework
Through the bond, I felt all sorts of mixed emotions from her, particularly anxiety and excitement. It had to be hard hanging out all night with a guy you didn't really like. About ten minutes after the dance's start time, I decided to clean up and take a shower. When I came back down the hall from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around my head, I saw Mason standing outside my door.
"Wow he is persistent," Victoria laughed. Dimitri and Adrian just glared at the book
He wasn't exactly dressed up, but he also wasn't wearing jeans. It was a start. "There you are, party girl. I was about ready to give up." "Did you start another fire? No guys allowed in this hall." "Whatever. Like that makes a difference." True. The school might be able to keep Strigoi out, but they did a horrible job at keeping the rest of us away from each other. "Let me in. You've got to get ready." It took me a minute to realize what he meant. "No. I'm not going." "Come on," he prodded, following me inside. "'cause you had a fight with Lissa? You guys are going to make up soon.
"See even he knows it," Alberta said sure that Rose and Lissa would make up soon
No reason for you to stay here all night. If you don't want to be around her, Eddie's getting a group together over in his room later." My old, fun-loving spirit perked its head up just a bit. No Lissa. Probably no royals. "Yeah?" Seeing that he was starting to get me, Mason grinned. Looking at his eyes, I realized again how much he liked me. And again I wondered, why couldn't I just have a normal boyfriend? Why did I want my hot, older mentor
"Something we all would like to know," Abe said looking at Dimitri who just avoided everyone's stare
—the mentor I'd probably end up getting fired? "It'll just be novices," Mason continued, oblivious to my thoughts. "And I have a surprise for you when we get there." "Is it in a bottle?" If Lissa wanted to ignore me, I had no reason to keep myself sober. "No, that's at Eddie's. Hurry up and get dressed. I know you aren't wearing that." I looked down at my ripped jeans and University of Oregon T-shirt. Yeah. Definitely not wearing this. Fifteen minutes later, we cut across the quad back over to the commons, laughing as we recounted how a particularly clumsy classmate of ours had given himself a black eye in practice this week. Moving quickly over the frozen ground wasn't easy in heels, and he kept grabbing my arm to keep me from falling over, half-dragging me along. It made us laugh that much more. A happy feeling started to well up in me—
Dimitri was happy that Rose was finally happy, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling jealous
I wasn't entirely rid of the ache for Lissa, but this was a start. Maybe I didn't have her and her friends, but I had my own friends. It was also very likely that I was going to get head-over-heels drunk tonight, which, while not a great way to solve my problems, would at least be really fun.
"It always is," Adrian smiled
Yeah. My life could be worse. Then we ran into Dimitri and Alberta. They were on their way somewhere else, talking guardian business. Alberta smiled when she saw us, giving us the kind of indulgent look older people always give to younger people who appear to be having fun and acting silly. Like she thought we were cute. The nerve.
Everyone laughed at that, Alberta the hardest
We stumbled to a halt, and Mason put a hand on my arm to steady me. "Mr. Ashford, Miss Hathaway. I'm surprised you aren't already in the commons." Mason gave her an angelic, teacher's-pet smile. "Got delayed, Guardian Petrov. You know how it is with girls. Always got to look perfect. You especially must know all about that."
"Smooth," All the girls said nodding approvingly
Normally I would have elbowed him for saying something so stupid, but I was staring at Dimitri and incapable of speech. Perhaps more importantly, he was staring at me too. I had on the black dress, and it was everything I'd hoped it could be. In fact, it was a wonder Alberta didn't call me on the dress code right there and then. The fabric clung everywhere, and no Moroi girl's chest could have held this dress up. Victor's rose hung around my neck, and I'd done a hasty blow-dry of my hair, leaving it down the way I knew Dimitri liked it.
A sketch fell out of the book. Sonja picked it up before smiling and handing it off. Everyone was shocked at what they saw. Sure they all had good imaginations but they never picked that the dress looked like that. Thankfully Abe and Janine got the sketch last otherwise no-one would have seen it
I hadn't worn tights because no one wore tights with dresses like this anymore, so my feet were freezing in the heels. All for the sake of looking good. And I was pretty sure I looked damn good, but Dimitri's face wasn't giving anything away. He just looked at me—and looked and looked. Maybe that said something about my appearance in and of itself. Remembering how Mason sort of held my hand, I pulled away from him.
Dimitri smiled at that
He and Alberta finished up their joking remarks, and we all went our separate ways. Music blasted inside the commons when we arrived, white Christmas lights and—ugh—a disco ball casting the only light in the otherwise darkened room. Gyrating bodies, mostly underclassmen, packed the dance floor. Those who were our age stood in too-cool clusters along the edges of the room, waiting for an opportune time to sneak off. An assortment of chaperones, guardians and Moroi teachers alike, patrolled around, breaking up those dancers who did a little too much gyrating. When I saw Kirova in a sleeveless plaid dress, I turned to Mason and said, "Are you sure we can't hit the hard liquor yet?"
"Agreed," Christian said imaging what was described
He snickered and took my hand again. "Come on, time for your surprise." Letting him lead me, I walked across the room, cutting through a cluster of freshmen who looked way too young to be doing the kind of pelvic thrusts they were attempting. Where were the chaperones when you needed them? Then I saw where he was leading me and came to a screeching halt. "No," I said, not budging when he tugged my hand. "Come on, it's going to be great." "You're taking me to Jesse and Ralf. The only way I can ever be seen with them is if I've got a blunt object, and I'm aiming between their legs."
Everyone nodded approving of Rose's thoughts
He pulled me again. "Not anymore. Come on." Reluctant, I finally started moving: my worst fears were realized when a few pair's eyes turned our way. Great. Everything was starting all over again. Jesse and Ralf didn't notice us at first, but when they did, an amusing array of expressions played over their faces. First they saw my body and the dress. Testosterone took over as pure male lust shone out of their faces. Then they seemed to realize it was me and promptly turned terrified.
"Good," Abe and Janine said at the same time. everyone ells were curious to see what will happen
Cool. Mason gave Jesse a sharp poke in the chest with the end of his finger. "All right, Zeklos. Tell her." Jesse didn't say anything, and Mason repeated the gesture, only harder. "Tell her." Not meeting my eyes, Jesse mumbled, "Rose, we know none of that stuff happened." I almost choked on my own laughter. "Do you? Wow. I'm really glad to hear that. Because you see, until you said that, I'd been thinking it had happened. Thank God you guys are here to set me straight and tell me what the hell I have or haven't done!"
"Please hit them," Abe and Ivan hoped
They flinched, and Mason's light expression darkened to something harder. "She knows that," he growled. "Tell her the rest." Jesse sighed. "We did it because Mia told us to." "And?" prompted Mason. "And we're sorry." Mason turned to Ralf. "I want to hear it from you, big boy." Ralf wouldn't meet my eyes either, but he mumbled something that sounded vaguely like an apology. Seeing them defeated, Mason turned chipper. "You haven't heard the best part yet."
"What could be better than that?" Christian wondered
I cut him a sidelong look. "Yeah? Like the part where we rewind time and none of this ever happened?" "Next best thing." He tapped Jesse again. "Tell her. Tell her why you did it." Jesse looked up and exchanged uneasy looks with Ralf. "Boys," warned Mason, clearly delighted about something, "you're making Hathaway and me very angry. Tell her why you did it." Wearing the look of one who realized things couldn't get any worse, Jesse finally met my eyes. "We did it because she slept with us. Both of us."
"Was not expecting that," Ivan said shaking his head in disgust
"I'm done. Who is next?" Sonja asked