13

Bella and Jasper took a shower and headed downstairs, knowing that if they didn't, they would end up naked and having sex again. Which wasn't something they didn't want to happen, but at the same time, the rest of their friends would be back from The Cove any minute, and they wouldn't care if they were naked and having sex. They would drag them out of their bedroom, so it was probably better to save them the effort, so to speak.

Bella knew she was playing a dangerous game with Jasper, letting him touch her, letting him love her. She never wanted to let him go again, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was selfish for trapping him in a life that revolved around her mother's needs. It wasn't like she could place her mother in Bayview and just walk away. Her dreams of going to medical school, of becoming a doctor were no longer possible. Instead, she would spend the rest of her life working a job she hated just to afford her bills, so how could trap Jasper in that life, too?

They had just settled on the front porch swing, her legs draped over his lap, his arm wrapped around her, and her forehead against the top of his shoulder when Carlisle, Esme, Garrett, Edward, Angela, Kate, Ben, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie arrived back at the lake house. Alice and Kate skipped ahead of everyone and all but shoved two foam boxes between them.

She could smell the most amazing barbeque. Ribs, sausage, ham, brisket, you name it, The Cove made it better than any other place she had ever eaten.

"Thanks," they said together.

"You're welcome," Alice said, giving Bella a look.

She swung her legs off Jasper's lap and opened the container, but when she looked up, she saw everyone staring at her with frowns. Of course, she should have expected it after Alice found her crying. Not just crying, but openly sobbing when she came to force them out of their bedroom.

"I'm fine, guys," she tried to reassure them, but when they just frowned more, she gave Jasper a look and placed her container on the swing next to her. "I . . . It's hard, you know? She's not . . ." Bella bit her lip as she shook her head, trying to keep her tears from falling again.

Jasper wrapped his arm around her, leaning over and kissing her shoulder. "You don't have to explain anything to them, Cricket."

"I know I don't," she whispered, looking at him before turning back to everyone. "The Renee you knew, the one who fed us pancakes at two in the morning when we stayed up all night studying for midterms, or who insisted on buying us all matching pajamas for Christmas, and then demanded pictures, is gone. She's. . . . She's not that Renee anymore. And I miss her," Bella whimpered. "I miss her so much, but she's not there, and sometimes I cry because I miss her so much."

"We miss her, too," Alice said, shrugging her shoulders. "I remember when we were twelve, and she let us wear make-up for the first time. Remember?"

Bella laughed through her tears. "Blue eyeshadow and red lipstick. Too much red lipstick."

"But she said we looked perfect and then she and Charlie took us out to dinner at the most popular restaurant in Forks."

"The Lodge," she and Alice said together before laughing.

"Daddy glared at every boy who looked at us, said none of them were good enough for his girls," Bella cried. "Sometimes I think it would have been better if she'd died with him, you know? Instead of being trapped inside that body, that mean, hatful body."

Alice sighed, leaning her head on Ben's shoulder. "She was my mom, too, Bella. She was all of our mother, and we've missed her and Charlie so much."

"She told me it was okay to love Ang," Kate whispered, drawing everyone's attention to her and Angela, who had her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. "I was scared to love her, Bella. So scared that people would never take me serious as a doctor if I admitted that I was a lesbian."

"Me too." Angela pressed her lips against Kate's shoulder. "When I told my mom and dad that I was gay, they told me to come home when I got myself straight. You told them to go fuck themselves and then you took me home with you for the weekend, where Charlie had to sit on Renee to keep her from driving back to Seattle and beating my parents asses for, and I quote, 'Being too scared to love me the way God made me.' I was sure I'd never see my mom and dad again, but then a month later, who showed up? They did. They said your mom had come over, told them how much they were losing out on."

"You never told me that."

Angela shrugged her shoulders. "I asked her why she went to them, and you know what she told me?"

"What?"

She laughed. "She said Moms are supposed to love their daughters no matter if they agree with their choices or not. She said she couldn't sit back and watch as my mom and my dad willingly let me go because they couldn't accept me for the beautiful, loving person God created me to be. And then she held me in her arms while I cried. It was the first time I had had anyone willing to fight for me, Bella." She pulled away from Kate and walked over to Bella, kneeling in front of her and wrapping her hands around Bella's. "You can't fight for her by yourself, Bella. You can't, so let us fight for her, too."

"I . . ." Bella closed her eyes. "You're just starting your internships. You wouldn't have time to take care of her. She's demanding and exhausting. So fucking exhausting."

She pulled her hands out of Angela's and stood up, walking past her, past Kate and Edward, Garrett, Emmett, Rosalie, Ben, Alice, Carlisle, and Esme, down the front steps and onto the small pathway leading down to the lake. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, enjoying the warmth on her skin.

"Cricket."

She smiled and looked over her shoulder, finding him standing in the middle of all of their friends. "I know that I can't . . . that I can't keep doing living like this. Not that I'm doing much living these days, but it's hard," she whimpered, putting her hands up when all they took a step toward her. "I'm sorry. I just . . . I just can't think straight when you're around me. All I want to do is fall apart, and I can't do that. I can't do that, because she needs me to be strong for her."

"Sorry," they all muttered together, before laughing.

"We're not saying we're going to move in, or anything," Carlisle said, shrugging his shoulders. "But we're a shoulder to cry on, and maybe someone to call when you're really, really sad."

Bella shook her head.

"And we can send you dumb memes, cause we all know how much you love getting dumb memes," Emmett added.

Bella laughed.

"And we can go with you to appointments, ask the hard questions." Esme sighed. "We can be your family, Bella, like you've always been our family."

"Essie," Bella whimpered.

Edward pulled away from everyone and walked down the few steps until he was standing in front of her. "You never would have walked away from us, Bella, if it had been any of our parents. We're not walking away from you, not again, Swan."

Tears seeped down her face as she leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his chest. "I've missed you, all of you, so much."

"More than him, we know," Edward said, causing her to laugh as she leaned away. "It's okay for you to finally admit that you're in love with me, Swan. I'll leave Garrett, you leave pouty ass over there, and we can run away together. What do you say?"

"No!" Bella scoffed, placing her hand on his chest and fisting his T-shirt. "Sorry, Masen, you just don't do it for me." She shifted her eyes past him to Jasper, who was scowling. "Besides, he's kind of the love of my life, so . . ."

"You bet that sweet ass I am." Jasper stood up and walked past all of them, reaching for her hand. She smiled as she allowed him to pull her against him, his arm wrapping around her waist and his other hand coming up to the side of her face. "You're stuck with me now, Cricket."

"Promise?"

"I promise, sweetheart," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. "I promise."

And closing the distance between them, Jasper kissed her.

—WL—

Bella and Jasper stayed wrapped in each other's arms, so lost in each other that they hadn't realized that everyone else had headed inside. In fact, it wasn't until Jasper's phone chimed with a new text message that they pulled away from each other. He tensed, his eyes flickering to her before he dug it out of his pocket.

He sighed in relief and said, "It's Dad."

"You thought it was her, didn't you?"

Jasper nodded. "When she's drunk, she tends to blow my phone up. I would have changed my number, but I didn't want to miss you if . . . if, you know, you called."

"Suppose that makes sense."

Jasper tapped on his phones screen and laughed. "Dad wants more proof that you are actually here."

"He still doesn't believe you? Didn't Ben confirm that I'm here?"

"He did, but you know how Dad is."

Bella took Jasper's phone from him and opened his camera. She shifted so that she was leaning against him and held the phone up and over their heads. Jasper snickered before he wrapped his arms around her torso, his fingers grazing the underside of her breast, through her shirt thankfully, and he pressed his lips against her temple just when she took the picture.

"Here, send that one to him. He'll lose his mind," Bella laughed and gave him his phone back. She took a step away while he did indeed send his father the selfie of the two of them together. Less than a minute later, his phone rang and she turned back to him as he rolled his eyes and answered it with, "Dad."

Bella started to laugh, but when Jasper snorted and held the phone out to her, she felt her eyes widened and she shook her head.

"He wants to talk to you," Jasper said all but shoving the phone into her hand.

"I'm going to make you pay for this, Jay," Bella muttered, before she released a deep breath and brought his phone up to her ear and said, "Hello."

"Hello, Bella," the deep soft voice on the other end of the phone said. "Been a long time."

"Yeah, it has. A really long time."

"How have you been?"

"Not great," she admitted. "I'm sure Jay and Ben told you, though."

"They have, but my sons are a little biased when it comes to you, so I figured I'd ask you myself, so again, how have you been?"

Bella shifted her eyes to Jasper, who was staring at her intensely, before she said, "It's been hard. Like really hard."

"Hmm," he hummed.

"How have you been?" she asked.

"Not great. You see, my son was lost for a long time, Bella, because you pushed him away. He lost himself, and he's been working really hard to find himself again, and I worry what's going to happen in two days when you leave Baker Lake and you don't let him go with you."

Bella chewed on the inside of her lip as she nodded.

"Are you still there, dear?"

"I am," she whimpered, and immediately Jasper was by her side, trying to take the phone out of her hands, but she refused to give it back. "I made a mistake, pushing him away like I did. I can own up to my mistakes, I can, but you don't get to judge me for putting my mother first. She needed me, and I needed to take care of her. It hasn't been easy, and it certainly hasn't been fun. I work too much, yet I can barely afford a pack of gum, and the last thing I need, Peter, is for you to judge me for trying to be good daughter, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to give the phone back to Jay, and you can fuck off for all I care."

Bella shoved the phone back into Jasper's hand before she turned and walked down to the edge of the lake, leaving him to deal with Peter Whitlock.

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