Thank you for reading and sticking with the story. Hope your enjoying it. I apologize that its back to a lot of talking for a while. There will be action later, but its more character action for a while. The pay off to a lot of set up I hope and won't be to boring for you to reading.
When Arthur and Merlin entered the barn Morgana was hugging Gwen. Her back to the two men. Gaius stood next to the queens. A comforting hand on Gwen's back. The old man couldn't make sense of what he had been told. While he understood that a number of young men would die, that one of those lost had turned out to be Eylan hit him harder than he expected. He had helped he knight's mother give birth to him. Watched him grow into a young man who left home to find his place in the world only to find that place was the place he had left. Eylan had been less then half Gaius's age. It made no sense how someone with so much life left to live could be taken so brutally and suddenly and an old man like himself was allowed to linger on.
At the sound of the door being pushed open Gwen opened her eyes. Seeing her husband she broke away from Morgana and quickly walked towards him. They meet in the middle and Arthur embraced her tightly. He saw she had tears in her eyes, but she had done a good job of holding them back until now. Now being held by the only family she had left she let them fall. Arthur too let a few tears fall but held himself mostly together for Gwen's sake.
For her sake he would also keep Merlin's secret to himself. At least for now. She had to know, deserved to know. Now was not the right time. She had just lost her brother that was all she needed to cope with right now. The queen would forgive and move past the matter much faster than the king would he knew. It was still going to hurt her, like it did him that someone they trusted so much had kept something so important from them.
The weight of the situation made the long minutes of silence seem longer. No one knew what to say or what they should do next. Surprisingly it was Gwen that broke the silence. Her words suddenly rushed and frantic. Like all her emotions, thoughts caught up with her all at once.
"Where is he now...I don't. He can't be on his own...I have to go-"
"Gwen." Arthur gently said. "He's not alone." He placed his hands on her shoulders, watching her breathing slow and her gain back some control of her emotions. "His brothers are with him."
They both knew that was a optimistic and not fully true view of the situation, but it was what they needed to believe. Gwen looked like she was about to say something but was cut off as the door of the barn was violently shoved open.
Everybody turned to watch Mordred entre, Leon next to him. His arm around the younger mans shoulder as he helped him walk. He had made most of the journey back to the barn without any assistance, but began to grow tired as they drew nearer. Kara entered behind them. Suddenly becoming very shy at the sight of the the king and queen of Camelot she seemed to freeze a little. She had known Arthur from a distance most of her childhood, but she had never been this close to him before. She and Mordred had run over in a silent conversation in their minds as they walked with the injured knight. What they were going to say, the story the would stick too but to say it first to the person who would be most affected by it, made it seem a much more daunting task.
No one was able to get many words out as Gaius directed Mordred to take Leon to the nearest makeshift bed where he would look him over. The old man glad to have something to distract his mind with action. Morgana too was relieved to be able to focus on anything else and grateful to see Mordred unharmed. She walked over to Kara and gave her a hug. Happy to she her reunited Mordred. She didn't understand why the younger woman was here, but she wasn't going to question it.
Sensing the question that Morgana wasn't asking Kara found her voice and did her best to explain. "I just knew that I had to come."
"I'm glad you did."
Mordred quickly began to tell his and Kara's agreed upon version of events. His nerves getting to him so he wanted to get it all out quickly and hoped that would be the end of it. He did underneath his nerves understand that what he had to tell Arthur was going to be hard for him to hear. That while he could in short time move past it, it would weigh down on Arthur for a long time. The loss of ones father. Mordred had never know his father or his mother. Never thought to ask questions about them. To his pragmatic mind there was no point. He was there and they were not. That was all he needed to know. Kara had asked him about them. She seemed more interested in them than he ever had been. He thought maybe when they had settled down he might try and find out about them.
"There was nothing we could do. He had passed by the time we reached him." Mordred finished explaining to everyone. Doing a good job at keeping his voice even.
Arthur in turn did his best to keep his face blank and not let anything emotion show. What he felt most keenly was shock. While he understood the words, the meaning of the words Mordred was saying, he could seem to make sense of them. What was his father doing here. Why had he been walking towards the fighting. How had he known about the fighting. As all of this raced in his mind, Gwen slipped her hand into his. Offering comfort to her husband on the death of his father. The man that been responsible for the death of her own father.
"He must have seen the fire." Gwen said in low voice. Arthur nodded agreeing with her.
Arthur cleared his throat before speaking. "We need to bring him back." He cleared his throat again. "To be buried with his family."
He referred to the vaults below the castle where the pendragon family had been buried for generations. As far back as Arthur could think. Since the kingdom began to grow out from the city it was named after. When he was young the place had scared Arthur tremendously. Uther took him down there a few times to pay respects to family members, his mother. He hated it, the damp smell, the cold dark light. He did his best not to show any of his to his father. He wanted him to be proud of him and not see him as a scared little boy. So he clenched his hand, bite the sides of his mouth and walked as tall as he could at his father side. Keeping his eyes locked on the ground before him. As he grew older the place held fear for a different reason. The tombs and grave markers represented to him the weigh of expectations that he was slowly beginning to realise was being pressed down upon him.
Morgana, when they were both young and he was still scared of the tombs for their darkness and link to death, dared him to go down there alone to prove he was as brave as he boasted he was. He blustered that he wasn't scared and would go down to show her that there was nothing to be scared off.
"Well then, you won't need a torch then. Will you." She had said.
He wanted to kick himself for trying to seem brave in front of Morgana. Who always seemed to antagonise him, irritate him. Uther had told him to be kind to her as she had just lost her father and had to leave her home to come and live somewhere she didn't know. The young prince was fast starting to lose all sympathy for the young girl. If she was scared or intimated by the move to the city she didn't show it. Like him she was just putting up a front for the other. A fact they didn't understand till they were much older.
Having been down in the tombs enough times by that point the young prince could find is way around without the aid of the torch. At some point he took a wrong turn, hoping to get the trip over with as quickly as possible. He quickly became lost. The more he panicked the more lost he became. Then suddenly he heard a scuttling sound behind him, drawing closer. At first he thought it was just a rat. A thought that sent a shiver down his spin. The sound grew louder as it got closer. Not having time to think he swiftly hide behind a pillar to his left. Wishing that he had brought his training sword with him.
As he waited in the damp darkness, concentrating on taking in deep even breaths, Arthur felt some self assuredness grow. He was Arthur pendragon, the next king of Camelot. He came from a long line of brave and fierce men. He didn't need a sword, training or otherwise. Clenching his hands tightly he got ready to lunge out from the darkness at the right moment. When the footsteps reached him he let out a yell and lunged. Not giving himself the chance to chicken out.
At he lunged forward with his eyes shut, he expected to hit something large and hard. Instead he knocked into something much smaller that fell to the ground with a loud thud. He heard a groan from underneath him as he moved to stand up.
"Morgana." He questioned.
"You were taking so long." She answered irritated as she shoved him away as he tried to help her stand up. "Next time I won't bother."
Without another word she turned and walked back the way that she had come. Rubbing her right arm that she had fallen on. He quickly followed after her at a safe distance. Feeling the waves of anger coming off of Morgana. At dinner she only spoke a few words. Which was not that unusual for her, but it worried Arthur now. After a few days they were back to speaking, interacting as much as they had before. Except Arthur now knew that Morgana had his back. He believed that fact for years after. Then he stopped and it had taken a long time for him to believe it again. Now that she had come to aid Camelot in a fight that was not hers, he believed it fully again. Years later she stood next to him now, his sister, with a comforting hand on his back. Which she still had.
His father had not been a constant presence the young kings life for some years now. He hadn't even come to his wedding. While at the time Arthur was glad of that, now looking back he was sad that his father had missed out on such a important day in his life. He would miss him but the lose did not cut as deeply as it would have done a few years ago. He was sad he realised now that is father would miss out on meeting his future grandchildren not for himself or any possible future children he and Gwen might have, but for his father. He was sad that his father had let his fear control so much of his life. He had happy memories of his father and those he would remember and focus on now. Not the what might have means.
"Merlin and I will bring him back here." Looking over at Merlin Arthur saw him nod in agreement. "Mordred, Leon if your well enough." The knights nodded as Merlin had. "Bring Eylan here-"
"No." Gwen said firmly. Surprising everyone.
Gwen knew what Arthur was thinking and she was truly touched by it, but it didn't feel right. Arthur wanted to return Eylan's body, a thought she still could not get her head around. That her enthusiastic little brother was just a body now. The glint in his warm eyes gone forever. A body which Arthur wanted to intern in the tomb under the castle. He wanted to make clear to everyone and for all future generations that Eylan had been a brave knight and a part of the royal family of Camelot. He would be so proud, so honoured by this. Yet it didn't feel right. He would not want to be singled out from his fellow knights in such a public way no matter how touched he would have felt at the gesture.
"He should be..." She could not get the words out of her mouth, they stuck in her throat. It physically hurt her to say it. So she tried to find another work, but could find one that meant the same thing she meant and didn't hurt to say or think about. "With the other knights. His brothers." She was finally able to get out. "He should be honoured with them."
"If your sure." Arthur said, asking gently, as she pulled her into another hug.
"Its what he would..." She trailed off not able to finish her sentence. Hugging Arthur back tighter.
Because it wasn't what he would have wanted. Not really. What he would have wanted was not to have been killed so young. To have been able to live his life. Get married, have children. Now that had been taken away from him and she was having to think what her little brother would want to have happen to his body. Her chest hurt at the thought of it. Tears built up again that she couldn't stop. Burying her head on Arthur chest to muffle the sobs she tried to hold back.
After a while of listening to her sobs in her own head Gwen began to gain back some control. Guilt them began to nag at her. Here was Arthur holding her and giving her comfort, support and understanding and he had just lost his father. Suffered a great loss on top of the pain she knew he felt over the loss of Eylan. She wanted to be able to do the same for him in kind. She just couldn't seem to get out of the fog of grief that had descended unexpectedly on her and blinded her to everything else around her. She was aware of the people around her to a degree, but it was like there was something the separated her from them. Kept them at a distance. Even her husband who she was holing on to for dear life.
Everyone else in the barn quietly went about doing what needed to be done. Leon and Mordred left to finally reach the place of battle they had both managed to avoid up till now. They would help the other knights build the pyres that after the sun had set they would light and watch as they burned, remembering their brothers in arms.
By the time they arrived the saxon dead had already been buried far back from the shoreline in a small clearing under a tree. The druids moved their dead too back from the shoreline. They too would be buried but in a more specific location in accordance with their traditions. This would be done unlike the pyres at sunrise the next morning. To remember those that had died and that their spirit would continue. That a part of them would remain.
Mordred had kissed Kara quickly before he left. Morgana half watched them seeing how difficult it was for them to separate so soon after being united. When Kara was left alone Morgana went to her side and directed her gently to Gaius side. Knowing he too was in need of a task to distract him. There was not much else that could be done before the injured men arrived. They busied themselves ripping up rags to make more bandages.
It had been a long time since Gaius had seen Uther. He had mixed feeling about the man. Even now in death. For whatever faults the former king had and he had many, he had always done what he had believed was for the best for Camelot. He had loved his children that Gaius was also sure of. Like with his kingdom he had not always shown that love in the best way, but it was there. Gaius looked down at his aged hands as they ripped up rags. While Uther was closer in age to him than the other men that had lost their lives today. Yet he had always thought that he would die before his friend. He had never thought he would have to mourn for any of them.
A little after the two knights had left Arthur began reluctantly to pull away from Gwen. She had stopped sobbing but he knew it was not going to be the last time that she shed tears over the events of today. Gathering all the strength she had she offered a weak, tight smile and told him to go and bring his father home. He clearly didn't want to leave his wife but he also didn't like the idea of his father left alone out there. Glancing around the room he saw Gaius and the young women that he had never met before getting organised for the arrival of the injured. He had been so shocked by what news arrived with her that he hadn't thought about who she was and what she was doing here. Morgana and Mordred especially seemed to know her, so she was not an enemy. Morgana had been helping them, but moved over to the couple now.
"Yous should go." She said gently as she placed an arm around Gwen's shoulder. Clearly stating that she would take care of her friend until he returned.
"I won't be long." He promised as he kissed Gwen's forehead.
He and Merlin then left before he had a chance to change his mind. Listen to his heart in stead of his heart and stayed with his wife.
Merlin didn't know what he was meant to say to his friend. He wanted to offer sympathy and support, but he didn't know if that would be received well right now. Not after what had just happened. He also didn't know if he could honestly offer sympathy for the death of a man that had killed so many of his kind and had made his life of those that lived so much harder than they needed to be. Who had cast a shadow of fear over the kingdom. Given the exposing of his magic, the secret he had kept form Arthur the whole time he knew him, Merlin didn't think it was a good idea to lie to Arthur right now. While he had never cared for Uther he had been Arthur's father. He never had the chance to get to know his own father, but he remembered all to well how much it hurt to lose him. How much it would hurt to lose his mother. He felt he needed to say something.
"I'm sorry Arthur."
Arthur glanced at him. "So am I."
They carried on in silence, slightly less uncomfortable than before.
Morgana held Gwen's shoulder a little tighter and maneuvered her to set on a nearby cot. Sitting her down she left her for a second to get her some water and some food. Handing it out to her Gwen just looked up at her like she didn't understand the gesture. What she was meant to do with what was offered to her.
"You need to eat."
Reaching out Gwen took the cup of water and apple, but she made no move to bring either to her lips. With a sigh Morgana sat down next to Gwen.
"Please Gwen." She pleaded.
Gwen sighed and lifted the cup to her lips. After taking a small sip, she quickly drank half the cup dry. She could only manage a bite of the apple, but Morgana didn't push her any more. Warping her arm around Gwen's shoulder she let the other queen rest her head on her shoulder. Like Merlin Morgana didn't know what to say. She knew the pain of losing a sibling. Knew that no words she could offer would make any difference. Just being there would have to be enough.
They where still sitting like that when the knights and druids returned to the barn to treat their injuries and rest for a while. Arthur and Merlin returned with the old kings body a little after them. They were offered food and water, but Arthur wouldn't have any. He didn't think he could get either down his throat. Het tried to get Gwen to eat something, but gave up knowing he was a hypocrite.
As the sun began to set they all made their way back to the funeral pyres. The moon while not full was visible casting a pale light over the water. Arthur spoke a few words.
"They will never be forgotten or the sacrifice they made be wasted. That is how we honour them beyond today, for all all days."
While he spoke he held Gwen's hand in his. When he finished to everyone's surprise she spoke too.
"As we move beyond this day, we care those we lost with us."
When the fires began to burn seven in total in a straight line, their bright, warm light mixed with the pale light of the moon. Everyone stood in a line before them and watched as the fires burned warm and bright. The druids gathered behind the knights, paying their silent respects to those they had fought with.
The fires burned for hours. The druids quietly left when the fires were more than half extinguished. They had to honour their dead at sunrise. The knight remained long into the night. So too did the king and queen. Who stayed standing, eyes set straight ahead, hands held. Until the fires were smouldering patched of earth.
Hope you like the newest chapter. I wanted the end of this chapter to be good, but I'm not very happy with it. I hope it came across it okay. As the story is nearing the end I would like to know if there is anything I have forgotten about that should be addressed, explained before the end or characters that you feel need a bit of closure. So that I can work it end before the end.
As always any comments, feedback or ideas you have are very welcome.