Than you very much for reading. The next few chapter are going to be predominately Merlin and Morgana. So Thank you for being patient with me as we got to this point. I really hope that it will be worth it and you'll enjoy the end of the story. I will also add that I'm not very confident, so manage your expectations maybe. Any ideas or input that you have for this are really welcome and really help me a lot.

Once everything was once again gathered from the barn everyone began to move on. There was no reason to linger any longer. They all would travel on together most of the way. There were small patches of conversation through out the procession but most they walked in silence. The loses they suffered weighing heavily on everyone, balancing out the joy that they had survived. Making everyone feel oddly empty inside. The day was bright and warm, the first true day of spring. Marking, they all hoped deeply, the start of the true new age of Camelot. Which would continue to build bridges over the divides of generations past.

Gaius walked towards the end of the stream of people. The old man had not slept very much the night before. Not as he would have expected because of work that he needed to do. Fortunately there was no one with any serious injuries that required extra time and care. Those that were wounded had deep cuts or broken bones that simply needed time and some care to heal. It could have been far worse he knew from past, painful experience. Though he found it hard to be either grateful or relived by this.

No Gaius had not sleep because he had spent the night running over the conversation that he and Merlin had after they returned to the barn after the funeral pyres had burned to ash. It was clear that the younger man was troubled by something. There were enough things to trouble him, but Gaius felt sure that it was something other than the immediately obvious. He pressed gently as they sat outside the barn tired but unable to sleep. He did not have to press very hard, Merlin opened up and told him everything that had happened. How Arthur had after years discovered his secret.

Merlin was glad of the darkness because he didn't have to see the fear in the old mans eyes. He reassured him quickly. Telling him that everything would be alright. Arthur seemed more hurt than angry and he had other urgent matter to focus on. Which he was sure lessened the kings anger. He was going to hold back telling Gwen till she might be able to better hear it. Arthur had told him that he thought he should leave Camelot for a while. He suggested it, he hadn't ordered him. So that was what he was going to do. Where he was going to go he didn't know, but that didn't overly worry him. In fact he quite liked the idea of not having to be anywhere do anything for once. Despite what was going on he felt a little freer than he could remembering feeling in a long time.

He hoped that Gaius wasn't worrying to much about it.

The druids parted ways with the knights and royals a few miles away from the city. The spires of the castle now visible above the tress. Once Again Arthur thanked them for coming to their aid and affirmed the hope that is would be a turning point in the relationship between the druids and people of Camelot. Aglain and the druids then began to walk away into the trees. They would stay together for a while till they too began to splinter off as they returned to their own camps.

With the druids now gone it seemed that it was time as well for Morgana and Luke to begin their return to the isle of Avalon. Morgana seemed both reluctant to leave, but eager to do so as well. She badly wanted to stay and support her friend through her great lose. She wanted to do the same for her brother, but who he had lost made it impossible for her to stay. She wouldn't as it out load as their didn't seem a point to, but she promised to herself that she would return very soon. When she could face it.

Before she left Morgana pulled Gwen into a tight hug. She wanted to tell her how sorry she was to be leaving her so soon after her lose, ,but she would not be able to do so in a way that made any sense. Made her actions not cowardly and selfish. So she said nothing. Gwen, if she didn't understand why she was leave didn't bring it up. Which only made Morgana feel more guilty.

"It's alright."

Morgana shocked at hearing Gwen speak and sound so like herself made her pull back sharply.

"I understand." The queen of Camelot said making herself clear.

Morgana didn't know what to say. There was nothing she could say. Self reproach grew as all she could do was hug her friend again and hope that that would in the smallest way make any of it alright.

As the two queens parted Morgana moved quickly to hug the king before he had the chance to avoid her.

Gwen saw Merlin standing apart from their friends. She couldn't read his expression. She had never seen that look on his face before. He looked unsure but focused. Before she could go over to him and ask him if he was alright, Gaius appeared by her side and insisted that she come and ride with him the rest of the way back on the back of one of the carts pilled with blankets and other things they had taken with them to battle. He wrapped an arm around her back, holding her arm tightly. She tried to pull away but the old man was stronger then she expected. He kept talking and she didn't have the energy to argue. So she let him lead her to the cart and sat down. Grateful for the rest. She would speak to Merlin properly when they got back home.

Morgana took a moment before she left to pull Kara aside and tell her that she was free to use her chambers for as long as she stayed in Camelot. She smiled and gave the younger woman a hug, thanking her. She didn't ask how Morgana knew that she planed to stay in Camelot. She was a witch and the queen of Avalon after all. For a second the fear that she might be able to read her mind caused her to freeze up.

"Let yourselves be happy." Morgana spoke quietly into Kara's ear. "You both deserve it."

Once the final goodbyes had been said those that had stopped moved again to join with the back of the march forward. There was so many people that nobody noticed that Merlin was not moving forward with them. For a second Lancelot thought Gwaine was searching for the king's adviser or possible Morgana. His head turning from side to side. The taller knight quickly drew his attention so Merlin would be able to slip away without having to lie about why he was not returning with him. A few people did notice, but they didn't know Merlin only in passing and assumed that he was holding back to say a final goodbye to Morgana. Despite what Merlin wanted to believe his affections for the lady, now queen Morgana were widely known. Unlike his magic it was no secret. Most people felt a little sorry for him. Gave a look back to see if he was going to make a fool of himself, but didn't stop walking to really watch.

"What are you going to do now." Morgana asked when the closest knights to them would no longer be able to hear them.

A restrained laugh escaped Merlin's lips. "I honestly don't know."

"You are welcome in Avalon, but I don't think that's where you want to be."

Merlin gave a slight shrug. Something about Avalon drew him in, the magic or Morgana he didn't know. He still couldn't imagine himself living there. That didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy spending time there. He had always had to hide his magic the idea of being somewhere were he could just be was appealing. Even for just a few days. Morgana had once made a comment, about what he could be capable of if he had more knowledge of the old ways. Maybe now was the time to test that idea.

"Then where is." She asked.

He thought about it and found that he could not think of an answer. It was such a simple question that he was certain the vast majority of people could answer without a second though and here he was, finally able to be where wanted and he was having fifth and sixth thoughts about it.

"You really don't have a clue do you." She said with a laugh.

Merlin laughed a little too. "I've never thought about it. It's never mattered before. I always believed that there was somewhere that I had to be."

"So you never thought about what it was you actually wanted."

"I need to go back at some point." He tilted his head back towards Camelot. "I have to speak to Gwen. The knights too, but specifically Gwen. Tell her myself. After that I don't know."

Luke had remained a little apart from them as they talked. Merlin actually forgot that he was there until the older man spoke.

"Avalon might not be where you are meant to end up, but it's not a bad place to start looking for the right place."

Merlin looked to Morgana, who gave a small nod of agreement with Luke. Merlin to agreed with the other man. He also had no better ideas. With a nod himself the three restarted their journey.

Once the citizens of the city caught sight of the king and queen with their knights returning, they began to gather on the streets lining their path and hung out of their windows to get a glimpse of the procession as they made their way home. Most could only catch a brief look between houses. It did not take long for word to spread that they had been victorious against the saxons and that the druids had come to their aid. The joy and relief at this was tampered by the news of the loses that the victory had taken.

It took a while for the citizens to fully believe that the former king had truly died. It was not till his body on a rickety old cart a cloak of bright red, the familiar pendragon red placed over him, was it a reality. The citizens lowered their heads, removed their hats if they wore one and kept silent as the procession passed by them on its way to the castle.

The cart was lifted up by ten knights and the king and carried up the main steps of the castle. Uther's body was then taken to the throne room. Some knights that did not help carry the cart went to the storage cellars to collect a more fitting platform for the body to rest upon.

An awkwardness fell over the city, especially in the castle as no one knew what they were support to do now. Gradually the citizens began to return to their normal daily lives. Those returning too tentatively strayed to head to their rooms to rest after the events of the last few days. Pericaval would return straight away to his room and fell asleep the second his head hit his pillow. Gwaine and four other knight slipped out of the castle and headed to the tavern. They needed a stiff drink, maybe more than one. As a small group of knights including Lancelot and Leon made their way to the kitchen to get some food Leon asked where Merlin was. At first Lancelot was silent on the matter as the one of the other knights said he didn't think he had seen Merlin since they left the barn that morning.

"I think I over heard him speaking with Arthur last night. He wanted to visit his mother."

He offered as an explanation, but his fellow knights didn't seem to agree with it. They didn't understand how with everything that was going on he would leave for such a selfish reason.

So he carried on. "He's not seen her in years, and with the old, former king..."

They seemed to accept his lie a little better at this and dropped the subject. To Lancelot's great relief. He was not a good liar.

Unfortunately the queen also did not accept the reason that her husband gave for Merlin's absence. The king coincidentally gave the same answer, lie as the knight had. He was only slightly better, more convincing at making the lie seem true.

"I don't understand." She said as she sat down on their bed.

It wasn't till she sat down that she realised how tired she was. It took a lot on self control not to let her upper body sink back onto the bed. Close her eyes and try to let herself shut off and not think about everything.

"You should get some prober rest." Arthur said as he kissed her forehead.

She knew that he was trying to get her to drop the subject. If she was not feeling so drained then she wouldn't let him, but she had no energy left right now to argue the point. It wouldn't really change anything anyway. So she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath as she fell back onto the bed. She heard Arthur gently closing the door behind him as he went to deal with having his Father's body laid in state and make plans for the funeral. She knew she should get up and go with him. He had helped her organise Eylan's and all the other knights funerals, she should help him organise his fathers. Make sure he ate a prober meal, make sure she did too. Her body just wouldn't move and her mind couldn't seem to urge her forward, so she just lay on her bed.

As she lay still she expected a wave of deep sadness to hit her. When her father had died it wasn't till she sat at their table in their now empty home that first night she was alone that the magnitude of what had happened, of what she had lost hit her fully. She cried so much it became hard to breath. The wave didn't fall back, it stayed with her. Each day it got a little easier, hurt a little less. Right now she just felt empty. That was worse. What if the emptiness didn't lessen as the sadness had. What if she only felt this hollowness forever.

Her hand traveled to rest on her stomach. She couldn't pin point when it happened, but she had stopped thinking that there was a child growing inside her. The idea of was impossible to process. She had felt so sure, now the feeling the certainty was completely gone. She knew she should question this, talk to Gaius but she didn't have the heart to have it confirmand either way. It was more than she could cope with right now.

It took Gaius longer then normal to find his way back to his rooms. He had made four wrong turns on a path he had taken thousands of times, and he had to turn back and correct himself. His mind played out all of the ways that things could play out. All the ways Arthur could react to Merlin keeping his magic a secret from him all these years. Arthur was a decent man. He had watched him grow from a baby into a king who he was proud to serve. But he had been hurt by someone he trusted while he was grieving his father. Such powerful emotions could make anyone act irrational.

Gwen's reaction was what was really worrying him. While he knew that she was not going to react cruelly or angrily, she would be very hurt. The fact her husband had also kept it from her would cause it to hurt even more. It would be his normally warm friend being cold towards him that would hurt Merlin the deepest Gaius knew.

His whole body ached and all Gaius wanted to do was go to his bed and try to stop his mind racing, but it hurt to much to move so he stayed where he was. Closing his eyes as he leaned back against his large table. He tried to at least let his eyes rest.

Kara and Mordred also got lost in the castle as they tried to find Morgana's chambers. Kara had never set foot in the castle before and Mordred had only been there once before when he was a child. All the corridors and passageways of the top floor of the castle were all so familiar looking they found themselves walking back on themselves an embarrassing number of times.

"I thought you lived here." Kara teased as she pulled Mordred back along the corridor they had just walked down.

In the end Mordred was able to find the way by looking out a window. He remembered looking out of a window in the night when Morgana had hidden him as a child. He could look down and see the courtyard below, which scared him but from a window on the next wall you could see the forest on the edge of the city. Which was a comfort. From this he worked out that the rooms they were looking for where on the west wing of the castle.

When they finally found the right rooms and pushed the door open he was surprised by how much it had not changed since he was there years ago. He had expected it to be covered in dust and be faded and worn. He waited in the doorway suddenly feeling very conscious of the fact that he was about to entre the rooms of a young unmarried women. Rooms that beyond also to a queen.

Kara didn't have any hesitation. She strode across the room in large confident steps. Stopping in the centre to spin slowly around and take everything in. She had never seen a bed so large or a table with a mirror on top of it. Morgana's brushed and other things still lay on the table untouched. The wardrobe was still filed with most of her beautiful dresses as well. Kara took a step forward to go and get a better look at them, which ones she might be able to wear herself. She was sure Morgana wouldn't care but she stopped after a single step. Looking down she saw her rough dirty hands, with dirt under her nails. Her worn, ripped clothes and her mud covered boots. Suddenly becoming very self conscious. She didn't belong in such large rooms, with such fine things.

Glancing at Mordred she saw concern building in his eyes. Not wanting it to grow further she pulled her face into a smile and quickly crossed the room back to him. Taking his hand she pulled him into the room, over to the window.

"You can see my house" She said as she pointed out towards the city before them. "Well part of it."

As they had been walking through the city towards the castle, they had held hands the whole way. At one point her hold on his hand tightened. He thought it was because they might have passed her old home or at least close by. Looking out at where she pointed too he realised that he was probably right. They looked out over the city. The place where they would build a life together hand held.

By around midday Morgana, Merlin and Luke were passing by a village. They hadn't really eaten all day. So Luke went to get them some food and water. The others would have come too, but Luke made a good point that they would get some attention in the village and he could slip in without anyone paying much attention. So Merlin and Morgana sat on a fallen tree truck by the side of the path to the village and waited from him to return.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, enjoying the chance to stop and take a break to pause, Merlin felt Morgana's eyes on him. Turning to face her he looked at her questioningly.

"You don't seem..." She tried to think of the right word. "Your not-"

"Scared, panicked, nervous." He offered.

"Yes. Freaking out generally."

"Sorry, I know that's what you want to see but-"

"No-"

"You wanted it to hurt as much as possible. That's what you said."

"I did say that, and I meant it."

"Glad to know you haven't changed your mind."

"How are you so calm." She returned after a pause to the original point of the back and forth.

Merlin huffed a laugh. "I honestly don't know."

He looked away from her, back to the village. Where he could just see Luke walking back to them. Morgana kept staring at him. Trying to make sense of his calm, unfazed nature. When he should be anxious and stressed.

"Your truly not scared." She asked quietly.

He thought for a second. "Honestly, no."

"How can you not be scared. The thing you have feared the most has happened."

"It's not the thing I fear most." He quickly answered and just as quickly regretted it.

"Then what is."

Merlin was grateful that Morgana had changed the subject, but did not like the one that she had change it to. He turned back to face her and was hit fully with what he feared the most. Her. More specifically what he might say to her, give away at some point. What her reaction would be. Fortunately Luke joined them before she had a chance to press the matter further. He handed them out chunks of bread and an apple each. He also gave them back their now full water skins. To try and stop the conversation going back Merlin asked if there was anything going on in the village they should no.

"No, but we should be on the look out. The backer said that there have been sightings of a possible gang nearby."

"Gang." Morgana asked. "Maybe they say the saxons."

Luke shock his head. "I don't think so. Its to far in land and this is going back a good while."

"So their might be a gang of bandits raiding small villages of what little they have." As he spoke Merlin's voice rose higher.

At first Morgana didn't understand why Merlin sounded so anxious. Then she understood.

"Your Mother's village is near here." She said as a statement not a question.

Morgana lifted the up the palms of her hands, in surrender. "It's nothing to do with me. This time." She said with a hint of a smile. Aiming to lighten the tension a little.

Merlin felt some of his tension lessen, as his lips lifted into a slight smile. "You'll come though." He asked.

"Of course." She said with out a seconds hesitation.

Thank you for read. I would really love to hear any input you have for Mergana going forward. I have a plan for the big things, but the little stuff not as much. So if there is anything you feel needs to be addressed or dealt then please let me know. It would really help. Mainly for Mergana, but for any other part of the story your interested in and feel needs to be addressed more or resolved going forward.

14 more chapters to go. Can't believe it's almost done.

As always any comments, feedback or ideas you may have are very welcome.