Everybody and anything familiar belong to Janet. The inevitable mistakes and everything else are mine.
"There's still time if you want to change your mind, Babe."
I slipped on my second black FMP and then turned to look at him. Ranger was standing in the doorway of the bedroom with his shoulder propped against the doorjamb watching me put the finishing touches on my outfit.
The all-black uniform Ranger chose for his company inspires tons of respect and a sense of safety. I was going for something completely different with my look. It's been a while since I've been introduced to a new Rangeguy and I want to appear non-threatening. A moss green sweater dress and heels seemed like an appropriate choice. I never know what's been said about me through the Rangeman grapevine, but it's safe to assume that everyone's been warned not to tick me off or more importantly … not tick the boss off by upsetting or annoying me. And my goal for today's Boston visit is to be sympathetic as well as approachable.
At the last minute, I walked back to the dresser and picked up the small gold hoops Mary Lou had given me for Christmas last year. I want to bring all the people I know with me, even if it's only in spirit, in case I need emotional backup. Ranger is always carrying two guns and a knife on his body, but I'm going a different route. Extra jewelry is like armor against the awful situation we're about to walk into.
Booster, who I'm told is Tank's twin from another him, is going through a tough time and needs all the support and care he can get from everyone … Ranger especially, which is where I come in. Or should I say, this is where I leave town. The people in Ranger's organization are family not just employees, and if one guy is suffering so is the Boss.
As much as I hate emotional scenes and situations, I dislike being separated from Batman even more. We've only been 'a couple' for a couple of months and the part of me that still hears my mother's voice in my head is worried that time apart will remind Ranger how uncomplicated his life was before I burst into it.
"Thanks for the reprieve, but I'm going," I finally said. "I know how important the guys are to you, so that makes their well-being my responsibility too. You're going to be busy running things while Boost has had to step away, and maybe he'll let me help him take care of Granny Lu. Val wouldn't let me babysit until her kids reached an age where they could tattle on me, but I'm sure I can do something to help him. This can't be easy for the guy."
"It isn't. She's not going to make it," he warned me.
I nodded. "I know, that's all the more reason for me to be on hand to do something or just provide a distraction for him."
"You don't have to do this."
"Yeah, I do. This is as much a part of your life as your apprehensions and your super-secret missions."
Ranger doesn't have anything to prove, but he showed how accurate I was by deciding to take the company jet to Boston instead of just getting up an hour or two earlier than usual and driving us there. On the outside, I tried to look the part of someone who's used to traveling in style, but inside I was calculating how much food and rent money I'd have to give up, and for how long, if I were being charged for this private flight.
"You ready?" Batman asked when we touched down.
"Yes and no."
"The guys will love you, Babe."
"I'll go with just hoping Boost will tolerate me. My intentions are always good, but how I carry them out usually pisses people off."
He paused in exiting the plane to drop a kiss on my head. "The only one who'll be pissed about this trip is your mother. Boost and the rest of the men will appreciate you putting your life on hold to come with me."
I love that he always tries to make me feel better, but until I've met and have read everyone's body language, it'll be impossible for me to relax and feel like part of this new crew. I felt even more intimidated when I saw the Rangeman Boston building. It's more steel skyscraper than brick bomb shelter. Thankfully, the interior didn't match the exterior when it came to the people inside. It took a total of eight minutes in the control room for me to breathe easier and identify Boston's Lester, Bobby, Hal, and Cal.
"Tell Boost if he needs anything … anything at all, we're here for him," Ringo made me promise.
"After getting to know the Trenton Rangeguys, I'm surprised you all aren't camped out in the driveway just waiting for a call or text from him to storm the gates."
"You read us right," Damon, baby Cal, said. "But we're trying to respect Boost's privacy. It fucking sucks though. 'Scuse the language."
"You got the Boss' seal of approval, so you get a walk-in-anytime invite," Juice added.
"Maybe, but I'm gonna make sure Boost knows he can kick me out anytime. This is about him and his grandmother, not me, my pride, or my feelings."
"Permission to hug the lady?" Trucker asked Ranger.
"Permission denied," my guy stated. "But I appreciate the sentiment behind the request."
I glanced at Batman. He knows I'm not a hugger, but I want to make a good impression on the guys, so I would've taken one for the team by letting a kinda-hot, potential Merry Man hug me.
"It's okay," I informed him. "I'm getting better at not being so anti-social."
He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me close. "You are, but I haven't changed. If anyone is getting their arms around you, it's me."
I rolled my eyes and heard two of the guys laugh.
"You're going to fit right in," Lennox, Lester's personality-doppelganger told me. "You may just decide to stay in Boston. We're better than Jersey."
"Steph was born and raised in Trenton and is a self-proclaimed 'Jersey Girl'," Ranger informed his guy. "You may have just cost Boston some points."
"Masshole is way cooler than Jersey Girl," Lennox assured me. "If you moved here, you could call yourself one."
My eyebrows went up. That's an interesting selling point. "And that's a good thing?" I asked.
"The best," the guys said as one.
"I'll keep that in mind. But if you really want to make a case for a move, you'll let me know what the best bakery is and how far from here it is."
Everyone spoke at the same time again, each guy having a different opinion on the subject.
"Babe."
"What? I'm just trying to bond with the men."
Yeah, he didn't believe me. I don't blame him. I didn't buy it either. But I did leave the control room with a promise to stop in when I come back tonight. I know that was mostly due to their concern for Booster, but I also think one or two of them were planning to carb-bribe me into picking their favorite bakery.
My nerves started to kick in as soon as we left the building. I'm not a maternal person, so what do I really hope to do for Boost and Granny Lu?
"I didn't hire you to act as a nurse, Steph," Ranger said, sensing my worry even without me voicing it. "You'll only be providing moral support if you decide to stay."
"Or if he doesn't kick me out. What do I say so he'll let me stay?" I asked as he turned off the highway and took a side road, parking six minutes later in a little driveway.
"Just be you. That's all that's needed."
Just like Tank, Boost was holing-up inside a little old lady house. But it's appropriate in this case since this is actually Granny Lu's house. I don't know much about Booster aside from what Ranger and the guys have shared, but this is NOT where I would picture him living whereas Tank has an inner old cat lady that fits his grandma house to a tee.
I unbuckled my seat belt and turned towards him. "What kind of advice is that? Ninety-eight percent of the people I meet don't like me based on 'me being me'."
"That's all in the past, Steph. You're surrounded by a higher class of people now who recognize excellence when they encounter it."
"I love you," I told him, never meaning it more.
He always knows exactly what to say to get me standing five feet taller even when I'm sitting down.
"I know. And that love is mutual. You okay?"
I opened my door and started to slide off the leather seat. "Yep. We're a team … until you leave. Then I guess I'll be teaming up with Booster."
"More likely, you and Granny Lu will be ganging up on Boost."
That made me smile. "I thought she's the one we're supposed to be taking care of?"
He met me at the front bumper and dropped an arm across my shoulders. "She is. Her health is a major concern, but she's a tough lady. She'll fight until she has nothing left."
"She'll always have Boost."
"No matter what happens, they'll always have each other in some way. That's what I'd like you to remind both of them."
That made me sad, but also happy … and a little jealous. I don't have that kind of relationship with most of my family. If it weren't for Grandma Mazur, Mary Lou, and Ranger, I could fall off the planet and no one would notice or even care.
We took the four stairs to reach the front door but instead of ringing the doorbell or knocking, Ranger used the hand not on me to get out his cell and send a one-thumbed text.
He sensed my question. "Boost usually stays in her room even when Granny Lu is sleeping and I don't want to wake her if she's finally comfortable and asleep."
"This is really bad, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so. They both know it. Boost wouldn't have taken time off work and Granny Lu wouldn't have let him if they didn't believe this was coming to end sooner than we all would all like."
Once again, I wondered what I hoped to do for them. I didn't have time to talk myself out of staying though. Boost opened the door and waved us inside.
"Thanks for coming," he told Ranger while doing some complicated handshake that ended in a guy-hug.
"You think I wouldn't?" My guy asked.
"I was hoping she'd recover …"
The fact that he didn't finish that sentence had my eyes stinging. He does look an awful lot like Tank down to the blank stare, but the shadows under his eyes and the defeated air around him set him apart in the worst possible way.
"Anyway," Boost said into the silence.
"Boost, this is Stephanie Plum. Steph, meet Sean Boosterman. Or Boost as you've heard him called."
"Hi," I said, not wanting to let go of Ranger until I had a better lay of the land. "The guys made me swear to tell you to call them if you need anything."
That lightened his mood momentarily. "I'm surprised they listened to me and are waitin' to hear from me before showing up."
"That's what I said to them!" I all but shouted. "Oh, crap. Sorry. I'm supposed to be quiet."
"Granny's sound asleep. It took a few hours for her to find a comfortable enough position, so I think she'll be out for at least an hour."
"She needs rest," Ranger reminded him.
"Shit, I know that. Tell her! If her hip doesn't hurt, it's her neck or her back. She still refuses to take anything even to help her breathe easier, so you know damn well she ain't gonna take something stronger than an OTC pill for pain even if it'll make her feel better."
"I knew you got it from somewhere."
"Not funny," Boost told him.
"Classic Ranger-humor," I added.
That got me another kiss to the top of my head. "I wanted to talk to Granny Lu before I take off, but I don't want to wake her."
I know from experience that Ranger is definitely worth waking up for but given the prognosis, I understand why he wants to let sleeping grandmothers lie.
Booster lifted a hand in warning. "I get it but brace yourself for the earful she's gonna give you for bailing without saying hello. She may not be feeling well, but she's got a lot of fight left in her."
Batman's lips twitched at the repeat of his earlier words. "That's what I wanted to hear. Will you be okay, Babe?"
"Yep. My career is based on me going and staying where I'm not wanted, so having at least one person okay-ing my presence will be a nice change of pace."
"Granny Lu will love you,'' he promised. "Just make sure Boost is the one 'suggesting' she do something. She doesn't follow orders well, but she'll be less … vocal … if it's coming from someone she loves."
This time Booster choked out a laugh. "Now that was funny."
"And also true," Batman said.
"It is. What the fuck am I gonna do without her?" Boost surprised me by saying.
I was envious of his ability to focus on the job and leave the emotions for later, but his fears and grief are already trickling out.
"You'll go on and be the man she raised you to be and experience the life she fought hard for you to have. That's the best tribute to her. She was there for you when you needed her, and you're here for her until the very end. Not many families have that kind of devotion to each other."
I know mine doesn't.
"She's all I have left," Boost whispered.
"Family is what you make it, Boost. She may be the last of your blood ties, but you have a building full of family waiting to be deployed."
"Ranger's right," I told him. "He'll be the first one to tell you that I hate anything having to do with emotional situations, but unless you order me to leave … I want to be here for you and Granny Lu. I don't think it's fair that this is happening to good people when we know too many bad guys who deserve it, but we're all here for you. Ranger's got work covered and I'm hoping to be of some assistance here."
"I appreciate it."
"Promise me if I get too annoying, or you want to be alone, you'll tell me to scram."
"And risk pissing the boss off? No thank you."
"It's hard to offend Stephanie," Batman assured him. "But I'll have a car dropped off for you, Steph. You won't be trapped …"
"And I can do some errands or get food if it's needed if I have a car," I added.
"It should be pulling up soon. If you both are alright, I'll get to work."
I nodded. "I know where to find you."
He grinned and then bent his head to press a mostly chaste kiss to my mouth before giving Booster a one-armed hug and leaving us alone with the woman I don't know but already really like.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked, scanning the inside of the little house now that we've moved further into it.
"Not much. I'm afraid this is a hurry up and wait thing. You sit around and try to find something occupy the time and then you haul ass as soon as she's awake and needs something. She's not eating a lot so when she says she's hungry, she gets the food she wants in front of her as fast as it can be heated up. When she's sleeping, I make sure to get her favorites lined up for quick distribution."
I didn't know cooking would be required, but he said 'heated up' which means microwave or a pan on the stove. That I'm pretty sure I can do, but the being on a timer aspect of it has me worried.
"When she got released from rehab," Boost continued, "there was a lot more to do because she was able to do what she normally did … walk around the house, get to the bathroom, wash and dry dishes, watch 'her programs' so the house had more wear and tear."
"But something happened where she couldn't move anymore?" I asked.
Ranger gave me the overview of things, but this is Boost's story to tell when it comes to details or a timeline.
"She tore two muscles in her hip, so moving has been … problematic. But after being in the hospital and rehab where she was more medicated than rehab-ed, coming home was the only solution. And she was doing well," he said, pulling a kitchen chair out for me to sit down before sitting across from me. "Then she started getting dizzy, and a fever set in not long after her birthday."
This I didn't know. "What caused the fever?"
His shoulders went up in a shrug. "Don't know. Best guess was a lung infection. Could've just as easily been a random virus. I got antibiotics into her which bought her another month."
He paused and my heart hurt for him. "You don't have to tell me any of this if it's too hard."
He waved away my concern. "I've been going over every minute of this for months, what's the difference if I do the thinking out loud instead of to myself?"
"I don't know. I just hate seeing anyone hurting as much as you are. I want to fix it … but I don't know how."
"That's what hurts, knowing that there is no fixing this. I'm going to lose her and there's not a fucking thing I can do to stop it."
For men like Ranger and Boost, that's the biggest insult. They spend their lives keeping people safe and alive and now Boost has to step back and watch helplessly as the life drains out of the person he loves the most. Rangemen DO NOT do helpless well.
"She's up," he informed me.
"What?" I asked, straining to hear something other than the steady thunk and hiss of the machine providing Granny Lu with the oxygen her body can't make and circulate on its own anymore.
He didn't answer me. He was already on his feet and heading back to the bedroom where she had been napping. I got up and walked into Granny Lu's room right behind him.
"Who's here?" She asked.
Her eyes are open but it's clear she can't see anything.
"It's me, Granny. Sean," Boost told her. "And you'll never guess who we have joining us today."
"Who?"
"The woman we all said Ranger is gonna marry."
That got my eyes on him. I didn't know my Merry Men's prediction had reached Boston.
"That Plum girl? The one who explodes everything?"
"That's me," I told Granny Lu. "It's not how I'd introduce myself, but it is kinda accurate. It's nice to meet you. I hope I'm not intruding …"
Boost broke in. "Granny, you and I are supposed to keep Stephanie entertained and outta trouble while the boss is being The Boss. Is that alright?"
I shot Booster a glare, but there wasn't much anger behind it. If that partial lie allows me to stay without upsetting anyone, I'm okay with it. And I can't help but think a conversation like that probably happened regardless of Granny Lu's health problems. Ranger loves me the way I am, but we all know I don't have to go looking for trouble … it finds me.
"It's fine by me," Granny Lu told us. "I'm not going anywhere."
My stomach hurt when a more subtle glance this time at Boost showed how he'd hoped and prayed she wouldn't go anywhere for at least another fifty years.
Her next question snapped me and him out of any sad thoughts and even startled a laugh out of him.
"Is she as pretty as I'm picturing?" She asked her grandson.
"Shit, Granny. You trying to get me killed? I'm not answering that. Ranger has eyes and ears everywhere."
"If that's so … he could get me a pair of both so I could see for myself and finally toss these damn hearing aids. They're harder to keep track of than you were as a kid."
He glanced at me and explained. "I want her to keep them in so she knows when someone's coming and going, since she can't see much of anything anymore. But since she's had to stay in bed, they keep falling out. Yesterday, one landed in the garbage can on that side of the bed."
Poor Boost. Poor Granny Lu. I knew this was hard, but I'm learning about something new to worry over every other second.
"I can't swap eyes and ears," I told her, "but to help with your mental picture … I'm average height, my hair's dark and way too curly. My skin could use a summer under the shore's sun. And I'm likely going to have five pounds of New England food to work off. But Ranger likes how I'm put together."
"That boy is a looker."
Boost snorted. "You can't see beyond shadows of things, Granny. How do you know what the boss looks like?"
"I didn't live almost nine decades to come away not knowing a thing or two. That man is all man, mark my words."
I covered my mouth to keep a laugh in. "I don't need to mark your words," I told her. "Ranger is a looker and the manliest man I've ever met. You hit the nail on the head with that one."
I saw a flash of dentures as she smiled. "Told ya. I'm gonna try to take a nap now. You two entertain yourselves."
Neither of us had the heart to tell her that she just woke up. If she's tired, she needs to sleep.
"Take your nap, Granny. We'll be here when you wake up."
I swear that gave her the security she needed to close her eyes again.
"Wow," I whispered. "You've been doing this all alone?"
He shook his head. "Ranger has made sure nurses and aides come here to check her blood and …"
At my confused expression, he explained. "She was prone to having strokes in the past so was on blood thinners. Except now her blood has become too thin even after stopping the medication. So bleeding is also a risk and why I'm terrified of her moving and falling."
That explains the ER-style bed and too many pillows to count surrounding her.
"What are you whispering about?" Granny Lu asked, eyes still closed.
"Nothing important. We were just hoping to bore you into sleep."
"It's not working. My hip is hurting like a son of a gun."
"I can give you …"
She shook her head, not bothering to open her eyes. "No. I told you, I'm not taking anything new. I'll just go to sleep. It'll be better when I wake up."
Boost's sigh was soundless. "Alright. We'll go into the kitchen so we don't keep you awake. Do you know what you'll want for lunch?"
"I'm not hungry."
"I know, but you will be. I just want to make sure I have your choice on hand."
"What do we have?"
"Anything you want," he promised her. "I have your cheeseburger from yesterday that you couldn't finish, or I can make you an egg sandwich again?"
We waited for an answer, but she had already fallen asleep again.
He slid his hand gently over her head and then stood. I did the same.
"She didn't seem that interested in eating," I said as we walked back into the kitchen.
"She has trouble swallowing and now sees eating as more of a problem than something to enjoy."
I tried to picture a life without eating snacks and he responded to my horrified expression.
"She can aspirate and fuck-up her lungs if she chokes, so food is always an issue. We even have to go with popsicles or Jell-O for fluid if she looks like she's having more trouble than usual."
'Fuck,' I thought to myself, but to Booster I said … "Okay. That sounds scary so I'll be on popsicle/Jell-O duty. Does she have a preferred flavor?"
"Orange anything when it comes to drinks and Jell-O, after she's had her morning coffee. And she's fine with everything except blue popsicles."
Last Fourth of July suddenly flashed in my mind. "Does Granny Lu like fruit?"
He shrugged. "Depends on the day."
"If you need another food/water option, my sister has a bunch of kids and one way she keeps them hydrated is she'll freeze pieces of watermelon or pineapple and then grate them into a dish so it's like healthy snow cones for the girls. You think that could help?"
"Can't hurt."
"I can run out real quick and get some stuff unless you'd like a break and some fresh air?"
"There's a store ten minutes away," he told me.
"I know. I make it a point to learn where every retail place is wherever I'm visiting. I don't mind staying if you want to see the sun for a few minutes."
"You sure?"
"Yup. I will text or call you if I need you though."
"I insist on it. I'll only be a minute."
"Take five if you need them."
I know he's not about to linger in the ice cream aisle like I would, yet I was still a little nervous about being left on my own in someone else's home. I didn't want to make noise and disturb Granny Lu, but it didn't feel right to hide out in the kitchen while he's gone.
I tried to channel Ranger and walk back into the bedroom on little cat feet. I sat in the chair on the left side of her bed and took a minute to study the woman who's ripping Booster's heart out. Despite her age and all the life she's lived, Granny Lu's face is lacking the wrinkles Joyce keeps pumping filler into. Her hair is baby fine and a pretty mix of pure white and dark gray strands.
I didn't realize I'd been staring with eyes swimming in tears until I heard Boost come back. I glanced at my hands and saw that they must've needed something to do while my brain had shut off and I'd untied the bow on the little fidget sleeve attached to the bed rail that reminds me of something Val had for Lisa when she'd been a baby.
I quickly retied it and scanned the bed to make sure I hadn't messed up anything else and then I went to meet Boost.
"I think you broke the record for fastest trip to the store and back," I told him as I opened the freezer door for him. "She's still asleep."
"I didn't think she'd be up that fast, but I hate to leave her. The sun felt good though."
He stored the reusable store bags in the hall closet and then returned to the kitchen.
"How long has it been since Granny Lu has been outside?" I asked.
He paused as a fresh wave of pain washed over him and then he answered with another question. "On her own or with help?"
"Since there's stairs out front, I'm guessing it's been a while for both."
"Even inside, I had to carry her from room to room. She started getting dizzy and her knee would buckle so a walker stopped being an option. She could still do everything she did before she injured her hip a few months ago, but it's like once she got that infection or virus or whatever the fuck it was, everything snowballed. Now Ranger's made sure she has visiting everyone around the clock to take care of the stuff I can't."
The weight of that statement required a moment of silence.
"Did Ranger tell you that she already gave me her wedding ring because she knows she won't be around to meet the special lady who'll one day wear it?" Boost said a few beats later.
Good thing Batman didn't clue me in or that would've had me rethinking this whole idea. That sounded like too much sad foreshadowing to be part of.
"No. He doesn't talk a lot normally, but when it comes to respecting someone's privacy, Ranger takes being quiet to a whole other level."
Boost nodded. "That's an understatement. I didn't even know about you coming until last night."
"You're welcome for the head's up. I keep reminding the Boss that people don't always want to be surprised by me."
"This turned out to be a good one, though. I appreciate you wanting to be here."
"I'm not the only one. You have a building full of men who wish they could be where I am. You're not stuck on an island to suffer alone, Boost. You may be the boss in that building, but those guys like and respect you the same way they do Ranger. They're staying away only until the second you say they don't have too."
"I just need this time with her," he tried to explain.
"They understand that. That's why they're respecting your wishes. Just remember that they care and would be here in a heartbeat if only to support you."
He didn't say anything else but I'm pretty sure he believed me.
"What do we do now?" I asked. "Should we sit with her in case she wakes up again or is there something else you want me to do?"
"You hungry? I can't cook worth shit, but I have learned how to scramble or fry an egg the way Granny likes them … if you don't mind basic fare."
"I'm about as basic as they come in every conceivable way, so eggs sound great. Maybe you could teach me what you've learned. Microwaving something frozen is the extent of my culinary skills, but I don't think Ranger will be worried I'll give him food poisoning if I cooked him an egg."
Boost gave a low whistle. "It sounds serious between you two. I was partially kidding when Granny and I were talking about you and the Boss getting hitched."
"We haven't discussed that outside of a joke or two, but I can say he's the only one who could get me to consider walking down the aisle again."
His eyebrows rose. "You were married before?"
"Yup. I was too young, stupid, and brainwashed to act on my need to call everything off."
"What ended it … if you don't mind me asking?"
"Five minutes in Trenton would give you all the whorey details."
"He cheated?"
I appreciated the disgusted and slightly shocked tone to his voice. "Yeah. About a month into the marriage, with my arch enemy, on my dining room table. I walked in on them in the act."
"You kill him?" Boost asked.
I shook my head. "No … something I still regret."
"Want me to take care of him for you?"
"You're sweet for asking, but no. He's not worth the time or the energy. There are some days where I still hate him, but if I didn't go through that divorce and then get fired from the job I'd had at the time, I never would have met Ranger. It's hard to be upset about getting to know him."
"That's how I feel about Granny."
"She loves you," was all I could think of to say to that.
"She's a loving person," he said and then went to the fridge to get out a carton of eggs, signaling the end of this particular conversation. "Which Granny egg special do you want to try out … scrambled with cheese and sausage chunks or fried and put between toast?"
"Door number one. I just met her, but by those choices, I can already say I love her."
He smiled and then got to work. I poked my head into the bedroom to make sure she was still breathing and sleeping peacefully and then I went back to watch him and tried to remember everything he did so I can test it out later.
He went ahead and made Granny Lu one of each while the skillet was still hot so all we would have to do is reheat it whenever she was ready. I texted Ranger to say I was having lunch here and then focused on the food that was actually better than my mom's eggs.
I cleaned the dishes after we were finished, and we went back to our bedside vigil.
"What happens if she's asleep when someone shows up?" I whispered.
"A finger poke they do regardless, since she doesn't need to be awake to draw a drop of blood, but everyone else will come back if she's resting."
Damn. I'm not sure what Ranger or I would do if we were asleep and someone came in and touched us, but I know it wouldn't end well. I respected Granny Lu even more for trusting Boost to make sure she was being protected even as she slept.
Booster was on his phone, probably catching the guys up on what's happening here, so I checked my emails to see if Vince sent me anyone new to start tracking from here via social media. We worked in silence for about forty minutes before Granny stirred again.
"What's to eat?" She asked immediately after waking up.
She clearly forgot the choices from earlier, but Boost didn't lose his patience as he ran through the contents of the fridge again and added what he had just cooked.
Boost was still feeding her small bites of cheesy eggs when the doorbell chimed.
I stood up before he could. "I'll get it."
"That should be the aide to help with changing her and the bed. I told Ranger and the hospice people that I could handle things, but they still insist on sending people over."
"I'd take all the help you can get and save your energy so you can enjoy the quality time you two have together."
I knew I gained a point when he looked at her face and then back at me with a brief affirmative head shake. "Thanks."
"I'm all done. I'm full," Granny Lu was telling him as I walked out of the bedroom.
"Hi," I said, unlocking and opening the front door.
"Good afternoon," the aide said with an island accent I'm jealous of.
NO ONE wants a Jersey accent, even some of us who have one.
"I'm Stephanie. Granny Lu was just finishing lunch."
She seemed worried. "Should I come back? I don't want to be rolling her around if she has a full stomach."
Fuck, I didn't think of that either. This caretaking thing requires more thought than I was expecting.
"Boost is with her. Let's see what they say," I offered as I walked with her through the little house. "Hey, guys, we have company."
Boost smiled at the young woman, making me wonder if he would've turned on the charm if they were somewhere else and the situation was different.
"Good to see you again, Margie," he told the aide. "She's all yours."
"Are you sure? Stephanie said she had just finished eating."
He couldn't stop the concern and sorrow that filled his mind to reflect on his face. "She only had six bites. That probably isn't enough to come back up if she moves. Besides, she wants to get this part over with so she can go back to sleep."
"But …" I started.
He shook his head at me. Sleeping more is never a good sign but it's not something he wants to talk in depth about. I could tell he didn't want to leave yet wanted his grandmother to retain her dignity by him stepping out of the room. I rested my hand on his forearm just long enough to get his attention.
"I'll stay with her and help where I can. I'll make sure she'll be okay without you for a few minutes."
I had no clue what I was getting myself into, but I couldn't take the worry Boost couldn't hide this time.
"You don't ha …"
I cut him off. "I'm glad I got to meet you, but I hate the reason Ranger and I had to come. Let me do this for the three of you."
He hesitated again, but only for a beat or two. He walked out and closed the bedroom door softly behind him, leaving me alone with the aide.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked her.
A question I've been repeating since I got here it seems.
"She'll need a wash and a change of clothes."
Okay, I can handle a change of clothes. Or maybe everyone should be worried, since I used to pull Mary Lou's Barbie's arms off to make an outfit change go faster. It took five minutes for me to realize that getting Lu's arms out and into sleeves was the least of my concerns. 'A change' included changing the adult diaper that became necessary once Granny was unable to leave her bed even with two people to support her.
I slipped on the rubber gloves I was handed and then got down to business, trying not to think about being the one on the receiving end of our care. I'd eat a bullet before I forced Ranger to do this for me. But on the flip side of that, it must mean the world to her, knowing her grandson would literally go to hell and back for her.
"You sure you want to do this now?" I asked Granny Lu.
"Now or an hour from now, what's the difference?"
She sounds exactly like Booster, but she has a point. If she can't get up or make it into a bathroom, her options are limited. Margie raised the bed, lowered the pillow end, and dropped the side rails so we could reach Granny Lu.
I was always impressed with Valerie's ability to change the girls as babies seemingly with one hand and not breaking her end of the conversation, but that awe couldn't touch what I felt for Margie, the little five-foot tall woman who has the strength of ten men. Whenever I had to pause and regroup, reposition, or re-grab something, Margie just smiled and quickly corrected everything I screwed up.
My arms burned and I was sweating with the effort of trying to roll and lift someone who is slightly bigger than me and couldn't help beyond lifting Granny Lu's arms and occasionally her legs and hips to get her pajamas off and a new pair back on once everything was cleaned, dried, and lotioned. I really should have dressed for the job, not appearance's sake.
Being someone who hates taking her clothes off to take a shower, and I'm only okay being naked with Ranger because he's usually naked first which is a good motivator, I can't believe what I had to look at, touch, and clean up. I guess facing the end of someone's life makes you okay doing everything you can to prolong it or at least make it more comfortable.
When Granny Lu was back to the way she started, I placed the heating pad on her hip again and thanked Margie for everything she just did. Joe called me an ass-kisser for showing appreciation to anyone but him, but I can't help but be impressed by people who can do what I can't every single day without breaking. There's Ranger strength, and then there's this mortal equivalent.
"Your hair is so pretty," I told Granny Lu once I'd walked Margie out and Boost returned to the bedroom. "You could totally rock some purple streaks if you wanted to add some color."
"No."
I felt better hearing Booster laugh at his grandmother's adamant response. Her heart may be failing, but her spirit is still strong as hell. I couldn't help smiling at the thought of her and Grandma Mazur meeting.
As the days went on, Ranger, Boost, Granny Lu, and I fell into a sort of schedule. If Granny was sleeping when I showed up in the morning, I'd tell Boost to go take a shower, a nap, or a run just so he'd have a breather. We'd all have brunch or lunch together, sometimes with Ranger if he had time, Boost and I would do computer work while she slept, and I found myself staying later and later every night. One night, Ranger and I even stayed over because Boost was afraid it might be Granny's last one.
When she survived the night, Ranger and I went back to his penthouse, slept for about two hours, and then he went back to work while I came back here. I never considered myself a 'domestic' person. Even when I was married for a minute to Dickie the Douchebag, I fought the idea of family life. So, I was shocked to realize in the week we've been in Boston, how much I've looked forward to waking up every day. Maybe knowing that one day will be the last one for Granny Lu put things into perspective for me, but it's also possible that being around good people every day makes you feel good.
Since I spend most of the day sitting beside or across from Boost, I've made Ranger promise to wake me up so I could work out with him before he heads down to five. The Boss has been very creative in how he gets me conscious, so much so that I'm too relaxed and satisfied to argue about it still being dark outside when we say goodbye to our bed for the day.
"You showering with me this morning?" Ranger asked me after we thankfully left the gym and returned to our temporary home.
It was tempting, yesterday's shower was really, really good, but me and running aren't conducive to me doing anything else, even him, after it.
"Not unless you want to play hooky for an hour so I can eat breakfast before we clean up," I told him. "I have to shower, get dressed, and head to Granny Lu's place and I'm already tired. I hate running."
He slid my ponytail to the side and kissed my neck, not caring that I'm still sweating from mile three. "I can help with that," he teased.
I took a step back before my hormones had me caving. "No, you can't. You'll inspire me to be active all over again and leave me in a boneless puddle in the middle of the bed."
The wolf grin he shot me had my toes curling in my sneakers. "And that's a bad thing?"
I shook my head. "Not usually, but I told Boost I'd be there by seven-thirty. If I let you do what you want to do, I'll need a two-hour nap to recover and the clock says I don't have enough time for that."
His grin got even more evil. "Your loss," he said against my mouth before pressing a hard kiss to my lips and heading to the shower.
"No kidding," I said to the empty foyer.
The only reason I didn't end up following right behind him is Glenda, Boston's Ella, promised there would be crescent roll cheesecake for me this morning. Booster is a favorite guy of hers, and trying to help him get through this with his head and heart intake has also made me a favorite of hers.
Since Ranger is perfect, he rejoined me before I'd made a solid dent in my version of a power breakfast. He filled me in on his day ahead as he ate his nutritionally balanced meal without gagging once. I would've dragged out our breakfast time as long as I possibly could, but Trenton called and intruded on our Boston time.
"Hi, Tank!" I called as I gathered up our dishes. "Miss me yet?"
Despite showering solo this morning, Ranger's good mood lingered. He grinned at whatever Tank said in response.
"He said yes," Batman shared.
I smiled in return. "Liar. But I appreciate you softening Tank's answer. I'll take a quick shower and get dressed while you guys talk."
I likely took three times longer to get ready than they did to talk, but The Boss still waited for me. I took the elevator down to five with him so I could stick my head in the control room and say good morning to the Boston crew, and then I left him in his temporary office so I could hit Trucker's bakery this morning.
Every day is different, but I still get Granny Lu a coffee and a doughnut along with breakfast for Boost in case both are feeling up to it. I'm not a morning person, but the ones where Booster flings open the door and says his grandma's waiting for her coffee, makes me glad to be part of their lives.
My heart sank this morning when I arrived at Granny Lu's place and felt the worry rolling off Booster's entire body.
"What is it?" I asked. "Is she …?"
My throat closed up and I couldn't finish the question.
"No," he said. "No. She just needed something stronger than Tylenol throughout the night."
My breath hissed out of my lungs. Phew, that I could handle … or so I thought. The meds to keep Granny Lu comfortable stole her ability to finish a sentence in a voice loud enough to be easily understood. We took turns putting our heads beside hers to try to make out her words until Boost and I just stayed standing on either side of her in hopes of figuring out how to ease her stress.
"Did she just say Lila?" I asked Boost. "I'm pretty sure I heard that name clearly."
The way his mouth tightened made me want to take my question back. "Lila is my Mom's name. She died when I was seven."
"Oh god, Boost."
"Granny Lu took me in and took over where Mom left off. They both wanted me to turn into the man my grandpa had been … and my dad couldn't be."
I ran my fingers through Granny Lu's hair, hoping to soothe her even in her dreams. "Good job, Granny. You did good with this guy. I've only known him for a couple days, and I already know he's one of the best."
"She wouldn't have it any other way," he told me.
"What should I do?" She whispered minutes later.
I glanced over at Boost, not sure if she was asking him or if she's having a conversation with someone … something ... else entirely.
He answered anyway. "You do whatever is best for you, Granny. I'll be alright."
She didn't act like she heard him, still appearing to be asleep, but I could physically feel what that had cost him to say. He doesn't want her to die, but he isn't about to be selfish and ask her to stay and suffer just for him.
"I don't know what to do," I confessed, scrubbing the tears out of my eyes. "How do I fix this?"
"You can't, Steph. That's what I hate. I can't take her pain away unless I tell her it's okay to move on and leave me here without her."
"This sucks," I said as I pulled a handful of tissues from the box on the nightstand.
"No shit," he said back. "I'd gladly trade places with her."
"Me, too," I admitted since Ranger wasn't around to hear me say it.
As Granny Lu slept on, unaware that she just freaked us out, Boost and I fell silent as we watched the rise and fall of her chest and her stomach, the side effect of her weakened heart. I didn't want to disturb Lu or Boost so I made sure my cell stayed silent. When it lit up in my lap, I felt my tension ease. Ranger's here.
"Ranger's at the door," I whispered to Booster after I read his text. "I'll go let him in. We'll be right back."
He nodded to show that he heard me, but his mind and eyes stayed trained on his grandmother. I had to blink repeatedly as the sun blinded me while I walked through the kitchen. Granny Lu having a few eye issues made a darker room more comfortable for her, so it takes me a minute to acclimate to the world beyond her bedroom.
After I unlocked the front door, Ranger came inside. I hugged him with whatever strength I had left, not saying a thing.
"That bad?" He said into my ear.
My forehead rose and lowered twice against his windbreaker. "That hard," I whispered back. "I don't know how people do this this … how Booster has gotten this far."
"You don't know what you're capable of until you're forced into a position that puts your mind and body to the test. Do you want to stay at Rangeman tomorrow?"
Now I shook my head. "No. I'm not leaving them. This is too much for four people, let alone one man whose heart is being broken hourly."
He kissed my head. "I knew you'd say that."
"I don't quit or abandon my guys when they need me."
Apparently, I was wrong. My taking a few minutes to recharge my battery from Ranger's energy stockpile caused a disturbance in the force. I felt rather than heard Boost come up behind us.
"She's not breathing," he stated.
The fact that he spoke without so much as a hitch in his breathing, had his words sinking in before my mouth was ready to believe it.
"What do you mean she's not breathing?" I asked, ratcheting up to hysterical by the second. "I was just with you guys. I was only out here for a couple minutes."
"That's all it takes, Babe."
I shook my head. "No. She can't be gone. She said she was sticking around."
"And she did," Ranger said as gently as he could. "She waited until it was just the two of them in the room before she made the decision to leave."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I should've just let you pick the lock then; I could have given them some extra time together by not budging."
Now Booster shook his head. "She was ready, Steph. I don't like it, but I have to accept it. The stubborn old girl would hold out until we were alone. It's been the two of us against the world since my mom died." That's the moment when what he's just lost hit him. There was no emotion on his face, but the silent waterfalls falling from his eyes said it all. "She was the only family I had left, the last person who loved me."
I wanted to look away and give Booster and Ranger some privacy, but I couldn't. Batman is mesmerizing on a normal day, when he goes all 'Kind Boss' on someone, he literally can stop all movement around him.
"That's where you're wrong, Boost," he told our Boston guy. "Granny Lu loved you with every cell of her little body, but family isn't only defined by blood. You know I don't make promises I don't intend to keep … you will always have us. You didn't lose Granny Lu, she gave you us."
He nodded, but it's clear the words will take a while to settle in.
"Do you want me to make the necessary calls?" Ranger asked him.
"I don't want to leave her," Boost said, already walking back to the bedroom.
I was torn, do I go with Ranger and let Booster soak up the last moments he'll ever have with his grandmother, or do I prove to him that what Ranger said is true … we're part of his family now. That decided it. Ranger makes difficult calls every day, he'll be okay. Boost just got his heart ripped out and now has to sit with it lying out in the open.
I gave Ranger one last squeeze and reluctantly let him go. "I'm gonna go see if he'd like company. I hate thinking of him suffering alone."
Ranger pressed a quick kiss to my mouth. "Proud of you, Babe."
I wiped my eyes and tried to smile. "This definitely isn't my area of expertise, but hopefully Boost knows I mean well. That woman was special."
"She was and will forever be."
Boost was standing by the bed, running his fingers through Granny Lu's hair like he's done for weeks. Despite her being 'gone', I know she felt how much he already misses her and how loved she'll always be.
"What can I do?" I asked.
My voice broke. This isn't like any dead body I've ever seen, and it was hard to help him when I'm also mourning her. I can't say how long we stood there, me holding her hand and Booster stroking her head. I felt Ranger wrap his arm around me from behind as he squeezed Boost's shoulder with his free hand.
I couldn't get my feelings together. Granny Lu looked so peaceful, like she made up her mind and left with zero regrets, but we know it wasn't an easy decision for her because she also didn't want to leave Booster. In that moment I understood what love really means. Ranger raced into dangerous situations for me because my life meant more than his in that life and death moment. And I did the same with Scrog, putting my life in the hands of a psycho to get his daughter back to him.
I spent my life longing to be loved without really getting what that means … that you would willingly give your last breath to continue someone else's.
At some point, I knew Ranger moved away but Boost's voice is what dragged my eyes away from Granny Lu's face.
"You won't need that," he told the funeral director, shooting a glare at the gurney. "I carried her into the house when she couldn't walk under her own steam, and she'll leave it the same way."
The sympathetic look he shot Boost had me choking. We weren't meant to be 'handled' or pitied. Granny Lu's absence is as substantial as her impact on those around her.
"I'm sorry for your loss," the suited-guy told Boost.
"So am I. That's why I will be carrying her," Boost repeated. "She's not just another body to be hauled away."
He started tucking the blanket around her as if she'd feel the chill in the air if she wasn't properly bundled up before she was taken outside.
"Ummm," the funeral director said, shifting his eyes towards Ranger for help.
Batman shook his head. "Unless you want to get shot, let him grieve however he needs to. I'll handle the rest."
Wisely sensing Ranger isn't kidding about what would happen to him if he tried to stop Boost from caring for his grandmother the way he needed to, the funeral home team hurried up to clear his path and open the front door so Booster could carry Granny Lu out to the waiting car without needing to stop.
My eyes filled up with tears I had no hope of stopping, and I found myself reaching for Ranger. He slid an arm around my shoulders and hugged me to him. How Boost was cradling Granny Lu reminded me of every rescue Ranger had to rush into when it came to me. Even the trained professionals who deal with death everyday were affected by the scene. There's no doubt in anyone's mind how much Boost loved that woman and how desperately she's going to be missed.