China slowly opened his eyes, his vision foggy and dancing around. He couldn't see anything specific, just that he was in a white room and there was something large in front of him.
"Finally awake?" The blurry object called out. China rubbed at his eyes and blinked to try to clear them. "Russia, is that you?"
"Da."
"Aiyah! What happened?" He asked as he rubbed his thumping head. Russia sadly glanced down at China's neck, which was now fully healed. "My sestra had done the killing of you."
China rubbed his neck, just now remembering the altercation at the meeting. "So how long was I out?" He asked.
"Three days," Russia answered. China lowered his hand from his neck and stared blankly at the wall. Even if the irregular shape of the knife slowed down the healing process, it shouldn't take three days. It sucks being old.
"So where's Belarus now?" He asked as he turned to Russia. Russia looked away and tightly gripped his wrist as it began shaking. "I have not the clue."
Before China could ask anymore questions, Russia stood up with his front facing away. "I go make breakfast now." He then left the room, leaving China alone and curious about what happened.
He quickly rolled out of bed and followed Russia out of the room, but found he was completely alone in the hallway. Familiar with the layout of the house, he went to the end of the hall and found Russia and the Baltics in the kitchen.
Something was off though, Russia wasn't making breakfast like he said and was instead sulking at the table with the other three. He even tried stretching Latvia to cheer himself up but gave up after only two pulls.
Lithuania eventually got up and started making breakfast himself, which would've been ordinary if he didn't look completely dead inside. Another thing China noticed was that Ukraine was nowhere to be found. Usually she would be out here helping Lithuania make food or simply talking at the table, but she seemed to be completely missing.
"Russia, where's your other sister, aru?" He asked. Russia glanced up at him before frowning and looking down. "Belarus' room."
China nodded and began walking away to find her. Why was everyone acting so weird?
As he came up to Belarus' room, he cracked open the door and looked inside, finding Ukraine in front of a dresser as she constantly folded and refolded her sister's dresses.
"Umm... Ukraine?" He called out. Ukraine didn't even acknowledge his presence and continued with her task, so China awkwardly let himself in and stood by the doorway.
Ukraine finally noticed him as she gave him a death glare. China shrunk back a little and inched closer to the door. "So... what happened while I was out?"
She stared back down at the dress with a sad and distant look, before glaring at China again. "Ask my brother."
China took that as his cue to leave, shutting the door and walking back to the kitchen, where Russia was still sulking with his head sideways on his hand.
"Russia, can we talk?" China asked from the doorway. Russia raised his head and looked back at the Baltics, who gave him a sympathetic nod. So he got to his feet and followed China out of the room, fully expecting another loved one to hate him.
Natalya rolled over on the big squishy bed, stretching her limbs as her tiredness faded away. She opened her eyes and pushed herself upright, looking around at the room in confusion. How did she get here? Right, Alfred probably carried her in while she was sleeping.
As she climbed out of bed and began walking to leave the room, she realized she was still completely covered in dirt. So as she left the room she quickly went over to her suitcase and grabbed her dress and some spare underwear. Finally she could get out of these jeans. (And yes she did sleep in them.)
While getting her clothes she also noticed that Alfred wasn't sleeping on the couch, nor was he in the driver's seat, meaning he was probably off doing something weird or stupid.
She entered the bathroom and began taking off her clothes, grinning madly as she took off her pants. She also removed the unneeded bandages on her arm and waist, now fully healed. The injuries caused by Russia had not healed, not even close. All the bruises on her body have turned from purple to yellow, same with her face, and they all stung to the touch.
While taking off her bow, it was only then that she noticed something missing. Her orchid! Oh no she must've lost it while fighting Ivan (The Crocodile.) Good going Natalya, you get a gift from Alfred only to lose it instantly.
Now completely dejected, she hung her head low as she walked into the shower, not bothering to even raise it while washing out the shampoo and conditioner she put in. After getting out and putting her dress back on, she left the bathroom and started moping around.
That was until she noticed the familiar plant sitting on top of the kitchen counter, to which she sprung up and sprinted over to it. Just as she was about to grab it, she noticed a small sticky note next to it that read:
!!! Still drying, don't touch !!!
Natalya walked backwards and fell back on the couch, letting out a long sigh of relief. This whole situation is ridiculous, why was she so attached to some stupid plant anyway?
Just then Alfred had returned, with a few takeout boxes. "Nat, I got us breakfast," he announced. Natalya got up and met him in front of the table, scowling at him for no apparent reason. "Don't call me that," she demanded angrily.
Alfred was stunned at her seemingly random hostility. "But... you've never complained before," he pointed out. Natalya crossed her arms and sat down. "Well you pissed me off, so now you can't call me that."
"Why? What did I do?" He asked as he sat down across from her. Natalya turned her head to the side and huffed. "... Nothing."
Alfred just stared at her in bewilderment. "O...k? Well, here's the food." He put the takeout boxes on the table and began opening them one by one. There were the usual suspects: eggs, bacon, and toast. Then on top of that there were biscuits, gravy, jam, chicken and waffles, and an entire pecan pie.
She still couldn't believe how much food he bought, there shouldn't be any way he could eat all of that. Yet time and time again he has proven her wrong... and he was about to do it again.
While she only took some eggs, toast, jam, and a slice of pie, Alfred took everything else. And he devoured it with room to spare. Honestly at this point it was becoming alarming.
"I still don't understand, how on Earth are you not fat?" She asked as she watched him finish the pie. He shrugged but didn't say anything. She would've probably pestered him to answer, but figured there was probably something in the book.
After a little clean up, the two began their drive again, all the way from Florida to Colorado. "Which is about twice as far as we just went," Alfred informed. Natalya grumbled to herself and pulled out her phone. Looks like this requires another time warp.
December 20, 1860
South Carolina has seceded from the Union... Oh my God what does this mean?! What do I do? What does anyone do? Is there a new nation now? What am I supposed to do?!
January 26, 1861
Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, and Louisiana have seceded as well. My country is falling apart! What happens if the others fall? Will I die? Is this what dying is? I think I can hear my mother, calling out to me.
- Alfred F. Jones
(Well that was certainly a shift in tone from their lighthearted breakfast.)
There was a sudden and random space between words, and as Natalya read the next sentence she raised an eyebrow. This was definitely... odd.
January 26, 1861
I ain't ya Mama.
...
...
...
What? Who is this?
...
Nobody. At least not yet.
...
What... what do you want?
...
Everything yer worth. Yer land, yer muneh, and especially dat goddamn capital.
...
Why are you doing this?
...
Why? Why?! Maybe it's because yer tryin' ta git rid of my slaves. Ya know, my entire way of life. Not dat ya care! All y'all Northerners ever care about is industry. Industry industry industry! But is der any room fer agriculture? Nah, ya wanna take all da muneh and slaves and leave us Southerners behind. It was ta my knowledge dat slavery was a state decision, not a federal one!
So fuck ya and da damn Union, y'all can go ta hell!
Who the hell was that? And why do I feel like he's going to keep coming back?
...
Cause I will. And stop talkin' ta yerself, it's fuckin' weird.
- Alfred F. Jones and ???
Natalya raised her head and looked over at Alfred. Since when was a creepy voice in his head a thing?
Alfred noticed her staring out of the corner of his eye, so he turned fully and met her gaze, seeing her looking with wide eyes and her phone pointed directly at his face.
"You taking pictures?" He smirked while turning back to the road. "Make sure to get my good side."
Natalya turned off her phone and tucked it close to her chest. "I was not." Alfred continued giving her a smug grin, which extremely pissed her off. "You don't have to lie to me, I know I'm irresistible, jolie femme," he winked, doing his best French accent.
"I don't know what you just said, but if it's something inappropriate then I'll cut you," she threatened, but Alfred was undeterred.
"If you weren't taking pictures then what were you doing?" He asked, throwing her off guard. What was she doing?
"Reading," she answered. Alfred cocked an eyebrow and smiled. "Reading? I'm pretty sure you were looking at me."
"I glanced at you, I was reading long before that," she excused. Alfred laughed and shook his head. "That wasn't a glance, you were looking directly at my face. Admit it, you wanted a picture."
Natalya had about enough of this. She pulled out one of her knives and attempted to stab him in the leg, but he quickly caught red her hand and held it back. "Don't be like that, you don't have to be embarrassed."
"I will end you!" She hissed. Alfred's smile never wavered, in fact it only seemed to grow bigger. "You know, intimidation is the highest form of flattery."
Natalya's eye twitched as a vein formed on the side of her head. "It's imitation you moron, of which I will never do."
Alfred shrugged. "Obviously not, because I would actually admit when I want someone's picture."
"I don't want your picture!" She shouted.
"Do to."
"Do not!"
"Doo toooo."
"I don't!"
"Yes you do!"
"I... you know what? Sure," she finally yielded. Alfred grinned in victory and sat still as she turned on her phone and pointed it at him.
He gave her the biggest, warmest smile he could possibly manage. Which was very large. She rolled her eyes and took the picture before shutting off her phone. "Happy?"
"Yup, now take one where I'm all cool and serious," he instructed as he changed expressions. Natalya was quick to shut him down. "No, one is all you get."
America chuckled heartily at her deep frown. "One of these days I will get you to smile," he stated randomly, shocking her out of her glower. "Fully I mean, not like those little grins and stuff."
Natalya hardened her gaze again and grumbled some strange curses in Belarusian, which she seemed to forget that Alfred understood, as she brought her attention back to the phone.
February 8, 1861
Da southern states have joined together ta make der own country. We're not like Union and da Northerner scum, we are a confederation.
We are da Confederate States of America.
- Confederacy
February 8, 1861
The Confe- oh... I already wrote that down? I don't remember that.
Wait a second, this is the Confederacy's doing. Why won't he just leave?!
...
I'll never leave. I'm gonna keep spreadin' till I completely take over, den you'll be da voice in my head, till even dat fades away. So sleep tight tonight Union, and remember dat yer days are numbered.
...
Bastard!
February 18, 1861
They actually elected their own president. Those rebel bastards really intend on becoming their own country.
March 2, 1861
Texas has seceded today, and so my glasses have also gone missing. Where the hell did Confederacy hide them?
I'm also beginning to feel a strange pain looping around my abdomen, which I believe is being caused by my country being split in two. Which begs the question, what will happen if the Confederacy does take over?
April 13, 1861
The Confederates attacked Fort Sumter yesterday, so civil war is now official. How do I even go about fighting myself? I don't want to fight my own people, I saw what it did to England.
Though I can't really call them my people anymore, I'm not able to sense them, nor the states that have seceded. I just hope I can bring them back, somehow.
May 6, 1861
General Scott has already proposed a plan on how to beat the rebels. However, I can't go into detail since the Confederacy is listening. He's always listening.
Always watching, always listening, always planning, always always always.
June 8, 1861
Virginia, Arkansas, North Carolina, and Tennessee have now seceded as well. The strange feeling in my stomach has only gotten worse, to the point where now it's become a cut. And each day it only grows larger and more painful.
October 21, 1861
The Union soldiers have only won one real battle so far, the Confederacy is completely dominating. I know I'm hurt but I need to help, I'm not just going to sit back and watch.
November 5, 1861
After a lot of arguing with Lincoln, I'm finally being deployed to Missouri to join General Ulysses S. Grant's unit. He kept saying that I was "too injured" to fight. I've had worse than some stupid gash on my stomach, it's not going to stop me from saving my country.
I've said this before but Lincoln seriously reminds me of Washington. "You're too young to fight." "You're too injured to fight." I'm all for having good father figures but they don't have to act like I'm some frail child in need of protection.
- Alfred F. Jones
Natalya wished she would've had that, far too long had she been alone without anyone to even argue for her protection. And here was Alfred completely rejecting it just for some dumb excuse to be a hero.
November 7, 1861
I'm not sure if this first battle could be considered a victory. We destroyed the Confederate camp, but they were able to make it to the river and block our boats. Not to mention nearly everyone is either dead or wounded. But at least this was some good experience for the rookies.
February 6, 1862
The Confederates surrendered Fort Henry before we even arrived. Guess Foote's bombardment was a little too much for them. So you can suck my Florida Confederacy, the Union isn't going down without a fight!
...
First of all, Florida is mine now, and second, if ya think dis is even close to over den yer a naive fool.
February 7, 1862
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I woke up this morning to my bed covered in blood and my body littered in bullet holes. We also got news that a group of Union soldiers west of here were all slaughtered. I'm not sure what any of this means. Was this a sneak attack, or did I have something to do with this?
February 16, 1862
Our forces moved east and have taken Fort Donelson, strengthening our hold of the Mississippi River. The rebels suffered tremendous losses, about six times more than the Union soldiers.
Even though I can't feel them dying, I still feel their pain. All across the bottom of the my laceration it feels like the skin is peeling away. I now have to constantly wear bandages because it won't stop bleeding.
I just want the pain to stop.
March 10, 1862
Every night he taunts me, how I'll wake up to a Confederate America, with the blood of millions on my hands. I know he's probably just trying to scare me, but when I wake up covered in wounds, and we get news about an entire Union troop getting massacred with no trace of the attackers... I begin to wonder if I really am responsible for all this death.
April 7, 1862
After a long day of retreating from the Confederates during their surprise ambush, our forces regrouped and began our own assault, pushing the rebels back out of Shiloh.
This is by far the most amount of deaths of the war. So, so many deaths. I tried to save as many as I could, I really did, but a cannonball took my leg out. I wasn't able to do much of anything after that.
For the next few days I'm gonna be stuck in bed, since the cut on my stomach is seriously degrading my healing factor. This war is beginning to take its toll, but I have to continue, I must.
January 1, 1863
Lincoln has issued his Emancipation Proclamation, which declares that slavery in all seceded states is now abolished.
...
Ya do realize dat's only if ya win?
...
Yes, which will happen!
...
No it won't. I'm gonna win, rip ya in half, den become da new America!
July 4, 1863
After months of failing to take control of the Mississippi, our unit blitzed through Port Gibson, Raymond, Jackson, Champion Hill, and Big Black River. Then finally after a hard-fought battle in Vicksburg, there was no more Confederate soldiers left to defend the Mississippi.
I truly believe that this win, coupled with the win at Gettysburg is the turning point in this war. Please please please let this be the turning point, this pain is unbearable.
July 5, 1863
I woke up today with a noose around my neck and cuts on my wrists. He's really trying to kill me now?! That's fine, if I don't sleep then he has no power.
July 6, 1863
I won't sleep... don't sleep don't think don't sleep.
July 7, 1863
I won't— won't sleep.
July 8, 1863
I won't
July 9, 1863
I can... see him, in my room. . . watching.
July 12, 1863
I accidentally fell asleep, so I woke up today at the bottom of a cliff. Not the worst way to wake up, but my legs are killing me.
I also haven't heard from Confederacy in a few days, is that good or bad?
July 27, 1863
Confederacy, where are you?! You're real right? I not crazy, right? Right?! I didn't go suicidal and start sleep-killing my allies... I would never do that.
August 2, 1863
I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'm not crazy! I'M NOT CRAZY!!
November 23, 1863
The Confederates have trapped us in Chattanooga's rail hub. So we are forced to wait for our enemi-allies to come break us out.
December 25, 1863
Guess I can't even have a good Christmas. Thank you Confederacy for the awesome gift, my own mutilated dick in a box. Fucking terrific.
I wish you were actually real, so I could shoot you in your disgusting face!
...
I wish I were real too, den I could shoot ya in yer face as well!
June 12, 1864
From The Wilderness to Cold Harbor, our army has slowly been making their way down to Richmond, the heart of the Confederacy. If we can take it over then this war will finally be over!
June 13, 1864
Seems like the closer I get to winning, the more aggressive Confederacy's sleep torture gets. I woke up today surrounded by over 2,000 corpses and a cannonball shaped hole in my chest.
What's wrong Confederacy, not comfortable with the idea of losing? . . . Come on, answer me you motherfucker!
April 2, 1865
Ten months. That's how long this siege has lasted. Stuck in trenches, half-starved, over 70,000 dead. This has been the longest, most difficult fight I have ever been in. But it was all worth it, we're marching into Richmond as we speak. What do you think of that Confederacy?!
...
Fuck you Union!!!
April 9, 1865
We chased and surrounded the retreating Confederates near Lynchburg, forcing Lee's surrender and beginning the end of this bloody war.
April 14, 1865
Lincoln's been shot. I was sitting right next to him at the play. I could've saved him. You just had to have the last laugh didn't you Confederacy? God damn you!
May 9, 1865
The war has officially ended today. Finally the Confederacy is gone and I can begin healing. Good, I think I was beginning to see organs.
- The reformed United States of America
May 9, 1865
Just know Union, dat ya may have won, but I will never leave. Any time da country is facin' division, or yer just feelin' extra down, I'll be back, ready ta torment ya in every conceivable way I can imagine.
- Confederacy
May 10, 1865
Yeah, sure. That's real funny... it's funny. Hahahahahaha ha ha ha ha ha.
June 19, 1865
The last of the slaves have been freed from Texas, meaning slavery is now completely gone from the United States.
Also my glasses came back! I'm not sure what Confederacy did with them but they came back while I was sleeping. I'm never taking them off again.
December 6, 1865
The 13th Amendment has been passed, meaning that slavery is now abolished by law, so no more planters can go around thinking they're all slick for holding onto their slaves.
January 28, 1866
I think I need some space from the eastern states for a while. With the whole Civil War, assassination, and on account of me going completely insane, I think it's best if I leave for now.
The West sounds nice. I can live completely alone, with no one around for miles. I can become a rancher, or maybe a cowboy, those seem to becoming increasingly popular.
- Alfred F. Jones
That was... awful! Natalya could admit that she could be pretty borderline at times, but even she wasn't insane. Though her unhealthy obsession with her brother was bringing her closer to that point.
But she has never, not ever gotten to a point where they were trying to kill both themselves and others while asleep. You had to be a special kind of insane to manage that.
Suddenly her phone's screen went dark, making everything around her turn pitch black. 'It must've run out of battery,' she thought while tucking it in her pocket.
She then looked up to Alfred, but couldn't see anything due to being unadjusted to the dark. Looking at where she thought he was, she asked, "where are we?"
Alfred got startled by the sudden noise and looked over at her. "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me!"
"Just answer the question," she demanded. Alfred nodded, even though she couldn't see it. "Well we've been driving for about eleven hours, so we're pretty close to the Louisiana/Texas border."
"Eleven hours... how much gas does this thing have?" She wondered. "About 100 gallons. I stopped at a gas station about an hour back, you seriously didn't notice?"
"No," she answered dully. Alfred hummed in intrigue. "You should show me whatever you're reading, maybe I can use it during the next world meeting."
"No, and I'm going to bed," she said suddenly as she unbuckled and left the cockpit.
"Ok Ms. Pissypants," Alfred angrily mumbled. Suddenly something flew through the air and hit him in the back of the head.
"Ow!"
After thoroughly inspecting the crime scene, the detective trio (they're still deciding on a name) returned to Hungary's house to go over their notes.
They had put up a large bulletin board in the middle of the living room with a picture of America in the middle, with sticky notes, red yarn, thumbtacks, pictures, and question marks surrounding it. Then on a separate board there was a picture of every other nation, except for Hungary, Prussia, and Japan of course. Not even Austria was safe from suspicion.
While Prussia paced around the room in thought, Hungary continuously rearranged the red lines on the board, trying her hardest to find some connection. Meanwhile Japan was sitting on a couch and staring at his phone, waiting for a message from a forensic scientist that was testing some of the blood he sampled.
Just then he got a notification, gaining the other's attention as they sped over and looked at the phone screen.
They all collectively sighed when they saw the results. O. "Damn, zhat could be anybody!" Prussia whined.
"Guess ve better start calling zhe nations zhen," Hungary said while pulling out her own phone. Prussia did the same and all three split up into different rooms.
They knew that they couldn't just outright start asking people if they were the one responsible for all the blood. Not only would they freak out if they knew someone was mysteriously killed at the meeting, but they might not be comfortable answering. So just to be safe, they are instead going to get everyone's blood type and whittle down their suspects from there.
They first started with the European nations:
"Hello?" England asked as he put the phone to his ear. This better be good, tea time was not something to be interrupted.
"Oh, Japan. And what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"
...
"My blood type? Why do you need to know that?"
...
"A blood disease? Good heavens! Alright, my blood type is A."
...
"You're welcome, and goodbye to you too."
He then hung up the phone and went back to his tea. "Probably that damn frog's fault," he grumbled as he took a sip from the cup.
After a whole day of calling, texting, and emailing the other nations, the group had gotten their data and brought it back to the bulletin board.
"So 64 of zhe nations have O blood, meaning ve can remove all of zhese pictures for now," Hungary said as she took down all the unneeded nations.
"There's stirr too many to come to a decision," Japan commented in a sad tone. Hungary nodded and looked at the remaining nations. "Ve just have to find whoever killed zhem. Once ve find zhe culprit and motive, ve find zhe victim."
"Good luck, I checked zhe knife hilt and couldn't find a single fingerprint, besides zhe ones from vhen you and Japan grabbed it," Prussia explained with an angry huff.
"Meaning?" Hungary asked.
"Meaning zhat whoever did it vas either vearing gloves or viped zhe hilt clean. So it's basically impossible to find zhe culprit."
"Gloves..." she trailed off, before turning back to the board and rearranging all the nations again. Prussia and Japan looked at each other in puzzlement then back at Hungary.
She then moved back from the board to show her work, revealing two separate columns of nations. One was the nations with O blood, and the other was a smaller group of nations consisting of France, Germany, Russia, Belgium, Austria, Netherlands, Poland, Switzerland, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Hong Kong, Turkey, and America himself.
In the middle there were two more nations separated for some reason. Belarus and Cameroon.
"What is the second column for?" Japan asked.
Hungary smiled as she began to explain. "So you said zhat zhe culprit could've had gloves, so... I made a second group of all zhe nations zhat vear gloves. I'm certain zhat it's one of zhem."
"Ok, but how vill ve figure out who did it? Plus vhy is Cameroon and Belarus in a separate column?" Prussia asked.
"Cameroon fits in both columns, and Belarus never got back to me, she probably just ignored it," Hungary elaborated. "And as for how ve vill find who's responsible, all ve have to do is look for motives and alibis, ve can narrow it down from zhere."
"Right, so who do we start with?" Japan asked.
"How about... Austria, zhat's easy," Hungary said. "I can check him off because I saw him leave long before the whole incident took place."
"I can say zhe same about West," Prussia vouched. "Also Svitzerland, he vas vith Liechtenstein, and he's never been zhe knife type anyvay."
"Oh, zhe three Nordics are also out because me and America saw zhem leave in zhe opposite direction," he added.
"I saw the Netherrands and Bergium reave together," Japan noted.
"Anybody else?" Hungary asked. Both of the nations shook their heads, meaning they would have to try harder to figure out the seven remaining nations.
After a few hours of careful analyzation, and heated arguing, they were finally able to bring it down to four possible suspects: Russia, Belarus, Hong Kong, and America.
On one side there was Hungary arguing that it could've been either Russia or America and that one of them killed China, sticking to the love triangle theory. Maybe China cheated on Russia with America, and Russia retaliated.
Then on the other side there was Prussia, who believed America had nothing to do with it and one of the other three had killed a different nation. He found it unlikely that Russia would kill his boyfriend.
Japan was somewhere in the middle, he didn't think America was part of it either, but was open to being persuaded.
Eventually, after things went south and Prussia got a frying pan to the face, they decided to drop it for today. There was just too much missing information.
Prussia held an ice pack to his eye and angrily grumbled. "You know, ve vould'nt have zhis problem if you just had some goddamn cameras!"
"Fuck you Prussia!" She screamed from another room. Currently she was being held back by both Austria and Japan, and it was still a struggle.
This trio was falling apart before they could even come close to solving this case. And it was very ironic because they were working with the same nation that created Ace Attorney and Death Note.
Guess they just have to try again tomorrow.
Natalya awoke, noticing that the vehicle was moving. She quickly got up and went to the cockpit, sitting back down next to Alfred and buckling in.
"Are we in Texas now?" She asked as she looked out the window, seeing more forest and farm land. She's seen a lot of that now, and from what she could see it looked just like Louisiana, which looked just like Mississippi, which looked just like... you get the point.
"Yup, we should be approaching Houston very soon," he answered. Natalya nodded and sat back as she watched the trees and fields fly by. They seemed to blend together in a strange, repeating pattern until the next thing she knew she was surrounded by buildings. Those disappeared quickly, bringing more forests and fields to stare at mindlessly.
Nearly four hours pass and the same thing happens, buildings for a short bit, then back to fields and trees. According to Alfred that city was called San Antonio, "Remember the Alamo!" He kept saying. She joked that it probably wasn't important since she couldn't remember it, and for some reason that really offended him.
He went as far as to drive over to the mission, get out, and leave to go inside for a good half an hour. When he came out he was in a much better mood, and happily jumped back in the RV and drove out of the city.
The next stop was Austin, in which he informed her on Stephen F. Austin and the whole forming of Texas, where he once again mentioned the Alamo.
Another three hours pass, and Natalya is beginning to get disoriented. It's just been fields and forests. No cities, no towns, barely any villages popped up anymore.
Another two hours, and now even the forests are gone. She hasn't seen a single tree in forever. Where the hell are they?
She pulled up her phone and looked at the map again, but it was no use. There were about eight states they could plausibly be in.
Alfred laughed as she looked at the phone in distress. "That's not going to help you, we haven't even left Texas."
"What?!" She yelled in astonishment. Were they in some sort of time loop, how was that even possible?
"If you think that's bad then you won't want to go anywhere near Alaska," he joked. "Why?" She asked.
"Well... take this for example. If I took your entire country and slapped it in the middle of Texas, then you could drive around your entire border with room to spare. Now take Texas, and put it in the middle of Alaska, once again you could drive around the entire border without ever touching the Alaskan one."
"Jeez."
"Yeah. Your brother may be bigger but you shouldn't underestimate me. I am still the third largest country," he boasted, getting a little prideful.
"Isn't China bigger?" She asked, pretty certain she heard Russia say something about that.
"Yes and no. If you're going on uninterrupted land size then China's bigger by a teeny tiny little bit. But I think that's a load of bullshit because it means it doesn't count two of my states. It's like if Russia's land size didn't count because a lot of it was in Asia, it's just unfair."
Natalya nodded as the two fell into silence. There wasn't really much to talk about past the subject of nation size.
About an hour passed after that, and besides the barren wasteland of rural Texas, nothing much had changed. That was until Natalya began to notice something was wrong, it was getting darker. Not like it was becoming night, it was only about 2:00pm. No, this was a strange darkness, it was both light and dark, and was only getting darker by the second.
It was only after a water droplet hit the window did she realize that the cause of the darkness was a storm that was quickly moving in. Then in no time, the single droplet turned into a full-on torrent of rain.
She liked everything about rain: the sound, the calmness, even the smell of it. The only thing she liked more than rain was *crack crack* *BOOM!* thunder and lightning. The way it makes their heart jump during the split second flash, then waiting in avid anticipation for the blast that would sent their entire body rattling. It was nature's horror movie. But a good one, not those boring ass things Alfred screams at.
As she continued to watch the lightning periodically strike, followed by the thunder that was getting more and more frequent, she began to notice that the sky was changing again. It was turning black, but with a greenish tint?
There was also a massive and dense cloud, much lower than the others advancing on their location. 'Must be a warm front,' she thought.
As time went on the large cloud began moving closer to the ground, and the rain and wind began picking up even more. The thunder and lightning was also going haywire, flashing and booming all throughout the cloud.
It then began spinning, slowly but surely turning in circles. Suddenly her head began hurting, and her ears randomly popped. Why was this so familiar?
A little more time went by and the spinning had picked up significantly, alarming Natalya and prompting her to turn to Alfred. "Um... Alfred?" She asked as she looked over. He gave her a creepy grin and simply put a finger to his mouth, then looked away from her and back at the storm.
That was unsettling to say the least. But without any further explanation for that behavior she brought her attention back to the storm, which has begun rotating even faster.
About forty minutes later the cloud began creating a large cylindrical vortex, to which Natalya was finally able to understand what she was seeing. And sure enough, only a few minutes later it made contact with the ground. Not even bothering with forming a funnel, the whole column crashed onto the Earth. A tornado had formed.
"That's a big tornado," she blurted out, never taking her eyes off of the sight. Every second there was lightning sparking and thunder booming, and even tiny sub-tornadoes were branching out to the sides. It was extravagant, and horrifying.
"It's a supercell. They're the largest of the large. And from what I'm seeing, it's roughly about a mile wide, and who knows how much bigger it will get," he explained, transfixed on the storm as well.
"Doesn't it hurt?" She asked, bringing his attention away from the storm. "Huh? What are you taking about?"
"It's a tornado, every time I've had one it's destroyed my stomach. And you yourself said that that's a ginormous one." She said.
"Oh. Yeah I don't feel them," he shrugged. Natalya turned between him and the storm a few times in disbelief. "You don't?"
Alfred shook his head. "Nope. Ever since I was born this area has been like this. I'm just used to it."
She just narrowed her eyes at him. "But how can you be used to it? Europe gets 300 a year, none of them are used to it."
He gave her a cocky grin and looked at her dead in the face. "Well that's because I get more tornadoes than the rest of the world, combined."
Natalya's eyes widened as she looked for any hint that he was lying. "What do you mean?" Alfred just smiled more. "I get around 1,000 tornadoes annually, the rest of the world gets a measly 500, tops."
"That's crazy," she said perturbedly. She couldn't imagine anyone having that many. Maybe he really was immune to them.
"Damn right it is. The country with the second most is my own brother, and he only has about 100 a year," he stated.
"But why?" What's different about your country?" She asked, getting more and more curious.
"It's my geography. Warm air comes up from the Gulf of Mexico while cold air comes from Canada. Right about in the middle they meet and start mixing with each other, creating that," he finished as he pointed at the tornado, which had grown larger and more violent since they last looked at it.
"I don't have all the separate mountain ranges like Europe or Asia, so I'm left with this flat plain between two mountain ranges, making the perfect area for storms. Hence the nickname, Tornado Alley."
"Interesting," she mumbled, once again distracted by the massive tornado. "Yeah... it really is," he nodded in agreement. "You ever watch storm chasers?"
"Huh?"
Suddenly Alfred spun the steering wheel and turned down the first road he could, heading straight in the direction of the storm.
"Alfred, what are you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"Turn around, we're heading straight for it!"
"Is that so?"
"Alfred! Turn around this instant!"
"No, I don't think I will."
"Alfred!!!"
"WooooHoooo!!!"
Jolie Femme - Pretty Lady