A/N (4/30/2021): Fixed a continuity issue.
A/N (2/21/2021): Two reviewers said it was confusing how we jumped everywhere, so I've made a new breakpoint scheme. Long breakpoint means major change like world change or point of view change, short one means time change. Tell me if it's better!
Beta: Path of a Writer, plz drop a bucket of thanks on him.
/-A Requiem for a Gamer-/
Upon realizing that he had forgotten about his essay, Jaune rushed out of bed, threw his sheets aside, slipped and expertly dived past his shelf of video games to land right beside his desk. His arm decided to bang itself on the chair's arm along the way. Wincing through the pain he scrambled to his seat and pulled up his essay on his computer.
'the a'
For all his prayers, he had not recalled wrong and his essay was just as incomplete as he remembered it to be.
Why the hell did I add an 'a' since yesterday?!
His essay was for one of his supposedly easy classes: The Art of Walking: The Atlesian Novella. He had picked it up thinking it was going to be a chill joke class. It turns out… it actually was. Except, it was so easy and so bad that he had completely neglected it! Gah! I'm so dumb! If I don't ace this class, I don't deserve to live as a human being!
Jaune nervously glanced around.
Nope, no gods magically appearing in just to follow through his last thought with something stupid, like turning him into a rabbit or something.
He sighed in relief, but it turned into a tired yawn halfway.
He then slapped himself.
"Aaaah!" This wasn't time to sigh in relief! He was about to get a zero on literally the easiest essay in the world! So easy, in fact, that the professor told them: "Write me something interesting, like one of my stories. It has to be 1000 words, and I'll mark you depending on how structured and well written it is." Then the prof placed a stack of papers with the essay assignment description - it was a single line - and the rubric on a desk at the front, and left the room.
Now, Jaune was completely lost. Having no topic was almost as bad as having a much too restrictive topic; what the hell was he going to write about?!
He moved his mouse, clicked, and yawned.
This wasn't the time to be yawning! He shook himself out of his stupor again. How was he this tired at ten o'clock?! It couldn't be all because of that PUBG all-nighter he pulled a few days ago. He couldn't let himself be distracted. Jaune willed himself to focus with all his mental strength.
The mouse clicked.
This was the time to channel his inner Shakespeare, to create a barely passable masterpiece within the few hours he had left!
Wait.
Jaune could, in fact, feel excitement well up inside him. Was this… his inner writing spirit?! Strength flooded his muscles and his hands landed on the keyboard. Build ideas jumped to the forefront of his consciousness like thousands of little rabbits, just waiting to be written into books.
He was in the zone.
So why the hell did he just open League of Legends?!
"Gah!" Jaune flinched and quickly closed it. This was not the time to get distracted. He crushed down the anticipation of playing League and focused on replacing the traitorous feeling with much needed motivation. "AaaaaaahHHHH!"
Clearly, screaming helps shonen protagonists, so therefore it was going to help him too.
Screaming fills me with determination! If I have to, I'll just pull another all nighter!
He stilled.
If Jaune pulled an all-nighter, then that would mean he'd have the whole night to do the essay, correct? Then wouldn't the right choice… be to play just 20 minutes of League? Twenty minutes divided by eight hours, that's like, uh, at least less than ten percent of the time he had! Just a little bit, and it'll probably get rid of the stupid itch he had!
"Just a little bit, Jaune," the launch icon on the taskbar whispered to him.
Jaune's face tightened.
Suddenly, there was a ping from his Discord. He absentmindedly clicked. It was a message from one of his internet friends, Aneisan, asking if he had time to play League.
When he was younger, there was a time when his seven sisters loved to dress him up as a girl. Even though Jaune hated it, if they pleaded with him enough, he would always eventually accept. One day, his mother had realized and had a one-to-one with him.
"I know you are a nice boy, Jaune, but you must learn to say no." She had told him. "Nice people who can't say no are just a carpet for others to walk all over."
Jaune remembered that lesson clear as day, as if it had happened just yesterday. Wisdom for the ages, ingrained in his memories.
It's time to use it.
Later, Jaune let out a startled yelp when out of nowhere someone stuck their head through his open apartment window. "Hello." The young adult took quick glances to his far left where the window was before he refocused on his screen. It was the god of Light.
"I'm on the seventh floor!"
The god rolled his eyes. "And I'm a dragon."
"What?"
Light pushed himself through the window opening, grunting as he did, and landed on the window screen that he had removed beforehand with a loud thump.
"Go away, I don't have the time!"
The old man stood up nonchalantly and stretched his limbs, earning a few pops from his joints. "Is that the way to talk to a god?"
"W-What, just..." Jaune decided that maybe hearing what the god wanted would be a faster way to get rid of him. "What are you doing here?"
"I'll be taking away the chocolate, Mortal."
"The chocolate coins?" Jaune's fingers moved quickly, eyes frantically snapping between the screen and the god.
"There's no need to worry, just the chocolate. You can keep the coins fair and square. The chocolate, on the other hand, was very expensive and not part of the deal."
Jaune was a little confused. "You bought the chocolate?! Can't you just... magic some in - ah!" He rapidly clicked his mouse.
"What?!" The god barked in disgust. "That's against the laws of reality that I set myself!"
Jaune stared at the man, not sure how to phrase the sheer stupidity of the statement he had just heard. Like, what about everything else the god had done till now?!
"Anyways, I'll be peeling these coins."
"You're going to... peel them by hand? One by one?"
"How else am I going to peel them? Fairies?"
"Fairies exist?!"
"No, you idiot mortal!" The god narrowed his eyes and glanced at the clock. "Not in this realm! That aside, isn't it late for you? I see, that's why you are stupid. You aren't a god. You need sleep. Go get some." The god stepped forward towards him. "You seem a bit distracted…"
It's only ten! "Wait! I have an essay due tomorrow and - "
The god was now at an angle where he could see the screen. "You are playing DOTA!"
Jaune couldn't alt-tab fast enough. "For now, the match just went a big longer than - "
"You said you had an essay!"
"I can stay up to do it! I'm just playing a quick game!"
"Quick - " The god narrowed his eyes. "You can't lie to me, Mortal!" He reached down, towards where Jaune's computer was plugged into a socket in the wall.
"No!"
Before Jaune could stop him, Light ripped the plug out and the screen went dark. Jaune gaped.
"Since you aren't going to use your time well anyways, at least take care of your health!" The god barked. "Go to sleep!" He snapped his fingers.
"Wait, no! I'll get a ban for leav - "
/-A Requiem for a Gamer-/
" - ing the match!" Jaune screamed desperately in the middle of one of Beacon's many hallways.
A few people stared at him.
"Oh, it's the poor guy from the Bullhead." A girl with bunny ears told her friends. "Don't mind him…" She glanced at him, eyes full of pity.
No, stop… wait. I deserve that pity, I'm getting screwed by some nutjob god - "Gah!" Jaune stumbled to the side. Something smacked him in the back of the head. It was a pinecone. "At least use something that's inside the school!"
A woman with a bushy squirrel tail walked by, carrying a basket full of pinecones.
"And now you are trying to explain it?!"
As she disappeared around the corner, so did the pinecone on the ground.
"At least integrate her into the game!"
Finally out of comebacks, and huffing and puffing, Jaune calmed himself the best he could. Then, he headed for the… the… the forward?
What was he last doing?
"Objectives menu?" He tried.
[Menu]: Objectives Menu add-on Locked. Pay 5 000$ to unlock.
What did I expect?
Not seeing any other choice, he decided to go down the hallway.
Upon seeing the auditorium, Jaune remembered his grand mission of going there and sleeping. Therefore, he had to run all the way back to the hallway he had started at to pick up his forgotten luggage, before coming back.
Wait. Can I wake myself up from inside this game world? He needed to get back and finish his match ASAP… Oh, and finish his essay. As he took out his sleeping bag, he eyed the wall intently. If I knock myself out…
...or, he thought as he took out his bunny pyjamas, I could just go to sleep and try to wake up that way. That's a much better idea.
No, wait, what if… what if the two types of unconsciousness are… different kinds of unconsciousnesses? He changed into his pyjamas in the bathrooms. Wouldn't put it past that god.
Jaune bounced a little on his toes in front of the mirrors to watch the bunny ears on his head wobble. There was also a matching pair on each of his slippers. I'm not brave enough to try knocking myself out though. He walked back to the little spot where he had set things up. What if I work on the essay while I'm inside the game? It's not like I have anything else to do. His genius thought paused him in the middle of his pre-sleep stretching exercises. Isn't this… isn't it actually really awesome? He excitedly thought. Won't I be able to have an extra eight hours of time in a day, if I use my time in the game world to work on real life skills?! Jaune started pacing left and right as the revelation came to him, his extra fake ears swinging side to side fashionably.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone flinch in disgust. He turned his gaze over, seeing a blonde in a tank top and shorts. She had been looking at him.
Was… was he ugly?! Jaune had never thought he looked bad, if a little noodlely. Ack! My non-existent ego! He glanced around at everyone else, and much to his non-surprise, they were all the peak of attractiveness. Truly, the world was quite an unfair affair, you hear?
Oh, he paused, that's some good wordplay! Linguistic effort that would be great if it was instead put onto my essays!
That thought sparked another idea. He had been completely unsuccessful in thinking of good essay topics spontaneously. What if, instead, he used his real life experiences? Wouldn't it be great if he wrote about a bunch of gods trolling a poor mortal? Or maybe, he should write about the reverse, in which it was the gods that were powerless… like a useless goddess, penniless and a total idiot.
He'd really like to see a show like that - ack! Another pinecone!
His eyes glanced side to side, alert. Where were these pinecones coming from? Were they getting summoned into existence, even though Light had said he wouldn't violate his own rules?
There was nothing out of the ordinary, just students chatting idly, a white haired girl yelling at people, and people getting ready to go to sleep.
...one of those was not like the others.
Light, how is this pinecone thing not breaking your rules? Randomly adding in a squirrel woman does not count!
[Admin]: Not Light. Dark here.
He outsourced to his brother?!
[Admin]: He's out. Said he had a wrong to make right.
That sounds pretty noble - oh, he's peeling the chocolate coins.
This was a great opportunity for Jaune. From what he had seen before, Dark seemed to be the more agreeable god. Getting on his good side would most likely be easier than the ...more expressive Light.
Er… so, how do you do?
[Admin]: Good. A little busy.
Dead. Silence.
As the silence dragged on Jaune agonized over if he should reply with another question in order to continue the conversation, or just let it die naturally and continue his essay. Perhaps the god had heard his thoughts, and thought it to be a bother replying?
What did the other god think of him?
Should he probe a little bit? Was the god listening to his thoughts at this very moment? What if he wasn't talking to him because he knew about that secret folder on his computer?!
N-nice talking to you then? He directed a thought towards Dark.
He took the easy way out.
[Admin]: Likewise.
Dang it, was there any way for that to have gone worse?
Jaune decided to dejectedly focus back onto his prose. Was there anything else he could write about? Perhaps a brainstorming session, instead?
For the next ten minutes, he made a bunch of bubble diagrams connecting different ideas together. There was a piece of paper about some kind of Cinderella-like idea spin-off, one about a space-themed adventure kind of like Star Trek, and another built off of Robin Hood.
Ah yes, original ideas.
Something caught his eyes, though. In one part of the Robin Hood diagram, he had written down 'Pyrrha'. It was connected to the concept of 'bow' for some reason.
I don't even know a Pyrrha…
How unusual.
[Admin]: Fuck.
Jaune blinked.
[Admin]: Don't mind me.
Ok.
I mean, it's not like it's in text, so therefore you had to write it and then click send. A little harder to mess up than normal. Still, the chances of that weren't zero and the Pyrrha thing was bugging him a little bit.
Back to Pyrrha, who...
[Admin]: Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Back to...
[Admin]: SHIT! You cocksucking fucktard!
Back -
[Admin]: Fuck you!
[Admin]: Yeah? Well, I don't care.
...You ok?
[Admin]: You still heard that?
May I ask about what just happened?
[Admin]: No.
Silence.
[Admin]: Weren't you going to write your story?
What's with these gods?! Seriously, aren't they just a bunch of weirdos? The god had a point though, he did have a story to write with very little time remaining.
Now where was he again?
Right.
Jaune looked down at the diagrams. None of the ideas, at a quick glance, stood out to him. They seemed like generic remixes of existing stories. Looking at them, he could see how the pieces easily connected together like the world's simplest jigsaw puzzle.
A small part of him loathed making another uninspired story. The world was already filled with large companies making cheap cash grab games and movies, devoid of essence and lacking enough depth for even an ant to drown in. The fact that he was following their footsteps, just so that he could get an easy mark… it tore at his artistic heart.
No, not really. If Disney can do shitty live-action remakes, he could also totally just rip off Red Riding Hood and call it a day.
Truly, the evil of mankind lives in people of all walks of life…
Jaune narrowed his eyes, contemplating if that was actually a better topic, before deciding not to.
...Since it sounded complicated and a lot of work.
Before he could get to work on his simple right-off-the-assembly-line story though, he started feeling a little restless for having sat in a weird cross-legged position for too long. Jaune stood up and stretched a little.
Stretching was in fact great for story writing. Getting the blood flowing meant more oxygen to the brain, which results in more efficient thinking. So, Jaune took about five minutes just stretching and idly looking around, seeing what everyone else was doing. His bunny ears shook from side to side as he did.
Afterwards, he felt a lot better and was more than ready to start writing. Except, that is, for one small little thing.
He was also a little hungry.
Not hungry like he hadn't eaten supper hungry though, more like, the little bit of hungry you get after supper. The kind of hungry that's not exactly like your stomach is empty, but your mouth starts watering for no reason and you just want something savoury or sweet to eat for no apparent reason.
Like a craving!
Well, he told himself, I can't exactly let this distract me from my homework, can I? In response to this minor crisis, there was really just one option.
He stood up.
When he arrived at the vending machines, located just outside the auditorium, a second crisis hit him. "Who does this?" He whispered, for in the vending machine, there was only one row filled in. It was bottles of water.
The water fountain was right beside the machine.
It seems like they forgot to restock the vending machine for the new school year…
"That's a shame." He told himself. "There's only one thing left to do." He spun on his heels and walked the other way.
And headed for the cafeteria!
The chances were high for vending machines to also be in the cafeteria if they were elsewhere in the school, since that's where all the hungry students would be. A simple, but effective, psychological technique. And very common sensical. Wait, that sounds like the opposite of what I mean.
Jaune peered into the cafeteria. The lights were on, even though it was deserted. Somebody must have forgotten to turn them off.
The lights turned off by themselves.
He flinched a little in surprise, but his hands weren't touching anything.
"Not again!" A familiar girl cried. In the darkness of the cafeteria, barely lit up by the hallway light, Jaune saw Ruby step out from around a corner. He couldn't see her face too well, but her posture clearly showed her frustration as she marched to the middle of the room. Then, she started waving her hands madly at a corner of the room. She hadn't seen him yet, since she was facing a different direction. "Switches are so much better!" The girl complained. Her movements turned more and more erratic, but the motion sensing lights decided that staying off is the better option. "Grrrrr!"
Is… is she growling at it? Jaune watched, mystified. I should probably reveal myself before...
"Well, that's how you are going to play, huh?" Ruby shook her fists at the device. "You... you… thing!" She blew a raspberry at it. "Take that!"
Then... she started wiggling. Or dancing. He couldn't tell. "Can't see this, can you? Or this! Or this!"
Jaune took a tactical retreat back to the auditorium.
He sat down in his spot again, this time a little more ready to start writing. His little craving could be ignored, his body stretched, and his mind ready to start cranking out generic content.
Except for one little thing.
The ground was uncomfortable.
Can't exactly start writing, can he?
"Oh, no, can't have that." He stood up and expertly started fluffing his sleeping bag. It was a little difficult with the bunny ears that kept flopping in front of his eyes, but there wasn't much he could do about his PJ's. Then, he moved all his writing utensils on top of it, before sitting down on it and wasting all his effort for a single momentary pleasure. "Now I'm ready."
He picked up his pen.
And then he put it down.
"This might be a little too comfortable." He sighed. "My home was a much better place to write, without any distractions! Stupid god."
Suddenly, the moment he said the last two words the world shifted. Everything turned into a swirl of colors and disappeared into a single spot, before exploding into bright light. Jaune covered his eyes. As the light dimmed, Jaune found himself in a spacious featureless room, facing the God of Darkness.
[System]: Special Event!
Dark was pissed. "What the hell!" He roared, loud enough to make him flinch. "Seriously? You piece of fucking dog shit!"
All this from what I said?!
The elderly man groaned and then kneeled down to pick up a binder on the floor. "Let's get this over with."
"Er… I'm sorry?" Jaune was a little shell shocked at seeing the normally more composed and rational god spew swears like a sailor.
The god didn't reply and flipped the book open. He quickly read whatever that was inside, then lit it on fire and discarded it to the side. Then, he waved his hand and his body started changing. His white hair turned black, with sides of it becoming gray, his face became sharper and younger, and grew a thick dark moustache. His retiree attire also changed into a tux, themed primarily around gray with yellow accents and a red dress shirt. Even his expression became more muted and more regal.
"These are the rules for the betting phase." He said. Jaune noticed that even his voice had changed, becoming more… sophisticated, yet… condescending? "First, one of us will decide what we are willing to bet. The other must choose an item that matches it or surpasses it in value. For future cases, should you act out again, it shall be my turn to match your bet. It shall be the god who chooses first this round." Upon him finishing his sentence, a pedestal rose from the ground in between them.
"...Why the change in appearance?"
The old man growled, momentarily breaking his facade. "It's part of the rules."
Dark placed a rectangular brick onto the pedestal. It glinted with a golden glow.
Jaune stared.
A matching pedestal rose in front of Jaune.
Dark did not even look at him. "Do what you like, it won't matter what you bet. I will be having it by the end, anyways."
"But, but… I don't have anything that's worth that much!"
The god raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps I underestimated your poverty…" He grinned condescendingly.
Is he playing a character or something? "The only thing I have worth even close to that much is my kidneys!"
"You are worthless to me." He rolled his eyes. "How about… a monetary donation instead?" Smirking, he stroked his moustache.
Jaune was a little stupified by the random acting. "But… but… I only have three hundred dollars in my bank account…"
The god looked at him like he was an idiot, before glancing down at his own bet and back. "This is a Caramilk chocolate bar."
"What?"
"Did you think it was a gold bar?!"
"It - !"
"The golden wrapping paper is wrinkly! What, did you think I poorly hand-smelted it or something?!"
"But - "
"You think I carry around gold bars randomly?!"
"You could… could have just summoned it?"
"Light would have my ass!"
"Why though? You've never explained to me why you can't do all that!"
They stared at each other, both a little winded from their yelling match. Jaune looked annoyed, while the god looked contemplative.
"So, you would like to know?"
"Yes!"
"I believe there are better questions to ask, but I won't argue. That will be my 'bet', then. What are you willing to risk in return?"
Jaune thought for a second. "I don't know… how about my old copy of GTA V?"
"PS3 version?"
Jaune blinked at the instant reply. It was quite an old game by now, so he didn't expect the god to take it.
"Uh, sure?"
"Deal. I do feel like the information isn't as valuable as that, so let me unlock the Objectives Menu for you too if you win."
Wait a second.
Waaaaait a second!
The only version of GTA V I have for PS3 is... my Collector's edition! Jaune sweated. That shit goes for 600$ on Amazon!
He pulled at his hair.
Jaune you dumbaaaass!
Before him, the pedestals retracted back into the ground.
Dark patted his clothing, making sure that there were no creases. He regained his composure. "Now, for the game phase." He said in a dignified tone with a strange sinister sliver. "In a moment, there will be three choices given to both of us. The two sets will be the exact same. However, in the three choices, there are some that are stronger against others. So, choose wisely. There will be three rounds in total, each with their own sets of choices, and whoever wins two out of three wins the whole event."
"That sounds pretty confusing."
The god rolled his eyes again. "Let's just start. It's simpler than you think." And he snapped his fingers.
The ground rumbled as a wall rose from the floor between them. It wasn't very wide, but was more than tall enough to block sight of each other.
Jaune looked around. Nothing stood out from his side of the featureless room. Where are the choices? That was when he realized that the floor was still rumbling even though the wall had stopped moving.
The rumbling was also getting louder.
Suddenly, with a loud crash, three huge objects burst through the ceiling and landed on the floor, sending dust and debris everywhere. Shocked, Jaune had leapt away from them, arms covering his eyes. Leapt away from them a second after they had already landed, that is.
Jaune was a bit slow sometimes.
[System]: Round 1!
As the dust cleared, he could see that they were some kind of large cylindrical pillars.
These look familiar… Why do they have rockets attached to them?
Jaune approached them. On each of the pillars was a symbol. "A rock?" He was a little confused. Then, he walked to the next one. "A… square?" The last symbol was of a hand making a sideways peace symbol. His expression turned flat.
"We're playing rock-paper-scissors?"
Jaune had hoped it was something a little more exciting.
"Paper, I guess." He said and pressed his hand against the pillar. The moment he did so, parts shifted and it opened up. "It's a container. There's something inside? It's a…"
Jaune scratched his head.
"Is this a Japanese sailor uniform?"
Most of it was black, except for the ribbon, which was red. One of the ends of the ribbon was longer than the other, sticking out on the right side, and kind of looked like an eye. Additionally the entire midriff was exposed, leaving the pleated skirt and blouse to be held together by two thin belts.
"...A perverted Japanese sailor uniform?" He blinked. "What do I do with this?"
[System]: Choices made! Round starts in 3!
"Wait!" He tried to stop the timer. "Let me - "
His eyes widened.
Jaune dodged towards the side.
The leaping uniform missed him.
[System]: 2!
"What the hell!" Jaune sprinted away, the uniform hot on his tail.
[System]: 1!
He rushed around the far pillar, having reached the end of the room, and barely dodged past the lunging uniform yet again.
[System]: Round start!
[System]: Through special action, you have unlocked a special ability: Sprint [LV: 1].
"Fuck you!"
The wall between him and the god instantly disappeared and he sprinted through it in order to hopefully lose his pursuer.
On the far side, Dark stood with a pair of huge blue and red scissors. He looked just as confused, but looked at least ready to use it, before Jaune entered, chased by an aggressively hopping uniform.
"Isn't that a...?" The god looked just as surprised as Jaune was at the sight.
"Save me!"
"You asked for it." The god approached, readying his scissors. As Jaune ran by, Dark bonked him on the head.
[System]: Rolling dexterity… Fail!
[System]: Game!
Before Jaune could register any pain, he and Dark already found themselves back in their original positions. The room had also reset itself.
"You attacked me!"
Dark smirked. "When I play a game, I play to win."
"I didn't know all the rules before you started the game!"
"Tough luck."
Jaune didn't realize it before… but he really hated this face that Dark was using right now.
[System]: Jaune: 0 | Dark: 1
The wall between them came back up. The system announced the start of a new round and three new containers broke through the roof.
He put his hand onto the 'rock' pillar. This time smoke poured out, keeping the item obscured for a second longer. When it cleared, it revealed that inside the large pillar-like container was a remote with a single, big, red button. Jaune facepalmed.
[System]: Choices made! Round starts in 3!
Jaune stuck his head in the container. There was nothing else there except the big red button.
[System]: 2!
"I really hate these gods."
[System]: 1!
He quickly grabbed it and ran behind a pillar.
[System]: Round start!
Peeking around the corner just as the wall fell back into the ground, he saw Dark with a red lightsaber. Jaune hid back around the pillar, a 'I'm so fucked' smile on his face.
"I'm so sorry, little one…" Dark giggled. Giggled!
The god's footsteps grew closer.
Jaune frantically inspected his device, but it was literally just a big red button. "This isn't what I think it is, is it?"
"Only if you're thinking that you and I are going to have a little chat!" Dark's face suddenly appeared in Jaune's sights and he almost screamed. He scrambled away as the god lifted the glowing hot plasma blade. Something dark glinted in Dark's eyes and a manic grin was plastered on his face.
Jaune slammed his hand on the big red button.
The blade plunged down.
[System]: Game!
When Jaune opened up the eyes he hadn't even realized were closed, the room and him had already been reset. Dark looked pissed though. Again. This time though, he looked like he was trying to hide the full extent of his displeasure.
"That is quite… unpleasant."
"What happened?"
"Upon you pressing the button, an explosion happened in front of me. Hit me before the pressure wave hit you." The god cracked his neck. "You got lucky there, Boy, but it won't be like that next time."
[System]: Jaune: 1 | Dark: 1
Jaune took a big sigh of relief. He was glad he hadn't destroyed the world.
...He hadn't destroyed the world to the extent of his knowledge, that is.
The wall between them came back up and more pods fell from the sky. This time though, Jaune had to choose well if he wanted to get some answers. He didn't have a lot of information about the game, but there was a chance that at least it seemed to still loosely follow the rock-paper-scissors formula.
Let's look at our choices.
In the first round, Jaune had chosen 'paper' and had received a uniform. Paper and cloth did have some tie ins, so that did make some sense. The god had chosen either rock, paper, or scissors, and had received… a pair of scissors. If Dark hadn't chosen 'scissors', then Jaune would eat his shoe. Then, Jaune lost because 'scissors' beat 'paper'.
He gritted his teeth. He should have tried to look closer at Dark's set of pillars to determine what symbols Dark had chosen in order to get his weapons so far, but he hadn't thought of it back then.
In the second round, Jaune had picked 'rock' and received a button that made explosions in front of people, while Dark received a lightsaber. This is where it took Jaune a little more thinking. Lightsaber should mean another 'scissors' choice from Dark, but what about his button?
Step back.
The 'paper' choice gave some kind of uniform. 'Scissors' gave a literal pair of scissors and a lightsaber. Perhaps 'paper' was wearables and 'scissors' were bladed weapons?
Then what about 'rock'? He took a moment to think.
Perhaps explosive weapons? It seems to kind of fit the theme. The bladed weapons could cut through the wearable attires, the explosives could take down the bladed weapons user before they could reach you, and the wearable attires… could maybe absorb the shock from explosives and render them useless? While Jaune had no idea how the previous uniform could do that, it had also been alive, so he was willing to believe that there was some kind of magic on it that made it resistant to explosives.
Still, it clearly wasn't a straight-forward rock-paper-scissors game. The battle wasn't decided the moment they chose advantageous weapons; they still had to actually win through some kind of strong blow to the enemy. However, the advantage that the choice of weapon gave was insane. If he had pressed that button any earlier, then he could have instantly won before the god even came into range. Therefore, what he chose was still of the highest importance.
What should he choose?
"Maybe I should go scissors myself…" Jaune wanted to confirm his theory and that was probably the best way to do it. However, something was stopping Jaune. It was the fact that the god had probably picked scissors twice in a row.
Does that mean that he is gonna pick scissors again, or does that mean that he's going to pick paper, expecting me to think that he's going to pick scissors?
His GTA V Collector's edition hung in the balance!
Jaune's shaking hand slowly approached one of the pillars.
[System]: Choices made! Round starts in 3!
"Shit."
[System]: 2!
He took a deep breath.
[System]: 1!
"Let's do this anyways."
[System]: Round start!
The wall dropped, revealing Dark taking cover behind a pillar, a revolver in his hands.
Jaune dove for cover too as bullets passed where he stood before. "Shit shit shit!" He looked at his own weapons.
A pair of yellow metal bracelets.
He remembered the sailor uniform. "There's got to be something interesting about these!" Fiddling around with them, he found that there were a bunch of tiny switches located on the underside. He hurriedly pressed some of them.
Click.
Jaune did something!
However, that was it, and nothing happened afterward.
He took a quick peek around the pillar. It seemed like Dark didn't want to cross the no-man zone in between them. A few more bullets whizzed past his face.
He refocused on his equipment. No matter what he did, nothing worked. Be it shaking them, punching with them, or singing to them. Annoyed, he threw his arms down towards the ground. "You piece of crap!"
Suddenly, the metal parts snapped out, covering most of his fists and his lower forearms, like a set of fighting gauntlets.
"'You piece of crap' was the password?!" Jaune recognized this set from the weapons lottery he had spun a day ago. Great, I have a weapon, now I just need to walk through a bullet hell and punch him. Easy!
He inspected this new form of his weapon. Behind the mechanism at the front and through an opening in the steel, he saw that there were some kind of glowing shells inside. Twisting his hand around, he saw gun barrels. Or cannon barrels? He wasn't very sure.
So it can shoot! He felt around the inside of the gauntlets with his fingers. Clearly, there were moveable metal parts in there, but what was he supposed to do?!
He randomly pulled one.
Bang! The wall behind Dark was filled with bullet holes.
A shotgun?! Sweet!
However, the moment Jaune had exposed himself, Dark was ready. The god fired back with a series of pin-point accurate shots. Luckily, Jaune had only exposed his armored fist and the bullets forced him back to cover.
[System]: Rolling dexterity… Success!
Jaune worriedly looked at his hand. It was somehow unharmed. He was a little confused, but decided this wasn't the time to think about it.
At least now that he had a ranged weapon, he could fire upon his opponent the moment he stuck his head out now!
…
…
Which should be any time… now!
He peeked around the corner and saw nothing.
Now!
Nothing
…
Deathmatch shooting games have a critical issue...
"It sucks when both teams are campers, huh?" Dark called from the other side.
"Yup."
"Thankfully, I have just the thing."
The pillar that Jaune was hiding behind exploded in a burst of fire, shattering into pieces. Jaune rolled behind another one, still somehow unharmed. A message appeared on his HUD, but he ignored it. "You can shoot explosives?!"
"You can say that."
That's so unfair!
Jaune had to think of something, fast!
/-A Requiem for a Gamer-/
Dark was pretty much assured of his victory. As soon as he charged up another shot, he would just need to make sure it landed behind the pillar where Jaune had taken cover instead of directly hitting it like he had accidentally done before. Having the advantage, he was now keeping his elegantly designed revolver trained on his target.
Suddenly, he saw a gauntlet begin peeking out from cover. The movement was rapid, like Jaune was about to dash, and so in that same instant, Dark had also already fired his fire dust empowered shot. Dark smirked victoriously.
[System]: Game!
His opponent had probably gotten desperate, so mistakes were expected.
"I'm so sorry, boy, but I saw this result from the beginning."
Jaune's expression turned into relief. "You saw yourself losing?"
[System]: Jaune: 2 | Dark: 1
[System]: Jaune wins!
Dark blinked in incomprehension.
"That was one of my gauntlets." Jaune sat down. "I threw it, thinking it could bait you, before I shot you from the other side of the pillar."
The god's eyes twitched, before he slowly closed them. He took a deep, calming breath.
The mortal uneasily watched him, before Dark suddenly started guffawing. "Very good! Very good! That was intense!"
"Ha… ha…?"
"Don't worry, I'm not a sore loser like my brother!"
With a wave of his hand, a wooden bench rose from the floor. "Come, sit, let's talk as promised." Dark's disguise fell away, revealing his original retiree outfit and elderly body.
Jaune carefully walked over and sat by the god.
"Please, ask." The god encouraged.
"Er… Erm…"
Dark saw his hesitation. "You were curious about what we can or can not do, right?"
"...Yes?"
"It's really simple. Light has ruled that no god should use their magic in order to affect reality."
"What? But you've teleported people around and well…" Jaune motioned around the white room he was currently in.
Dark blinked. "Oh, you mean this? This is just a temporary delusion of yours. No time has actually passed for this specific event, unlike the others."
"Wait, seriously? What about those chocolate coins?"
Dark smiled. "That? Nothing much. I just had to find molds for chocolate coins, go to the bank and withdraw three hundred dollars in dollar coins, and melt dozens and dozens of boxes of premade chocolate." His smile turned more fragile. "Then, we spent hours encasing the coins, ran to your apartment, watched youtube videos about picking locks and spent the next twenty minutes picking yours, all before you finished the boss fight." His eyes turned a little crazy. "Oh, and that's not mentioning the twenty minutes we spent, lost because none of us know how to use a GPS."
"Ah…" Jaune was leaning backwards precariously on the edge of the bench. The god's face had progressively encroached on his personal space. "Er…"
Dark snapped back to a correct sitting position. "I'm sorry. I lose myself to my darker emotions sometimes, you know. Am I intimidating?"
"It's not exactly that… it's more…"
"More what?"
"Could you, uh, fix your neck?"
Dark felt his neck a bit. It was just bent a little, at a ninety degrees angle. "It's just damage from your buckshot. I sometimes forget how things actually should be." He grabbed his head and snapped it back to the right position with a loud, natural crack.
Jaune looked horrified, though.
"Does your neck not crack sometimes?" Dark asked. Maybe he should go to the doctor's, just to check it out? So this was why my vision was sideways.
"Should - shouldn't you know this?"
"I'm the God of Darkness, I deal with destruction. Not my job." Dark shrugged.
The mortal looked surprised. "You seem a lot more easy going than I thought."
Dark raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, weren't you angry at the beginning because I kept calling you guys names in my head?"
"You were mentally insulting us?" Dark narrowed his eyes. "While I don't take kindly to that, this event wasn't me. You set off a flag that Light had left in the game and I was only brought in because he's busy doing something."
"Then why were you furious?"
Dark's expression twitched. Flashes of the anger from before came back, but he angrily pushed them back down using more anger.
"It's nothing."
There is no reason to get angry at this particular mortal. It's not his fault. He took a moment to imagine a tranquil breeze flowing through an elegant fantasy forest, gently resting his hand onto the bench opposite of where Jaune Jaune sat from him.
That section of the bench exploded mildly.
He sighed. Looking up from his minor mistake, he saw that Jaune was shaking. The god realized he was leaking bloodlust and put a cork to that. Instantly, the mortal seemed to feel a little better. "I told you, it's nothing."
"It doesn't look like nothing…"
Dark looked for deceit or manipulation in Jaune's eyes. "It… was very important to me personally, but may be nothing to you."
"Everyone cares about different things." The mortal offered.
Dark gritted his teeth. "Just go. I've also already unlocked the objectives menu." He raised his hand. The god snapped his fingers and Jaune disappeared.
"Wait - "
"What was he gonna say?" Dark frowned. Should I send him a text message?
Wouldn't that make me look like a stalker, since he never gave me his number, and Light would get mad if I used my powers for something so stupid…
It can't have been important.
I'll agonize over that later, now I need to wrap this up.
The god opened his hands and a pen and clipboard faded into existence in them. Printed on the first page of the clipboard was a simple form. He filled it in. Then, using the information he entered, he produced an answer at the very bottom.
Dark ripped out the sheet and left it on the floor. I do wonder what Light wants with this though?
"Now, back to what I was doing before." He growled. "Fuck this. I almost had that!"
This chance was the combination of both the culmination of a decade of experience and basically the stars aligning.
"My tank Lux penta!" He cried in the empty room.
Words could not describe how angry he was.
Should I send him a text? Though, perhaps after I calm down and stop making things explode on touch...
/-A Requiem for a Gamer-/
A/N (2/21/2021): Oh, and great news! There is a release date for the next chapter!
Next Chapter: 3/28/2021