Elizabeth studied her reflection for about the hundredth time. She wanted to look perfect for her dinner with Nathan and Allie, and in an episode sure to make Julie or Rosemary proud, had spent the last thirty minutes trying on dresses and changing her hair. "This is ridiculous!" she finally scolded herself, pulling her original dress back on. "Nathan has already seen me and didn't care what I was wearing." She paused long enough to brush her hair and then tied it back with a simple ribbon before heading across the hall to check on Jack. She'd left him playing in his room, and could hear him talking quietly to his toys.

"Come here, my sweet boy," she cooed as she picked him up. "We have to get ready for dinner. Nathan and Allie are coming to eat with us. Won't that be fun?"

"Awwie!" Jack exclaimed happily. "Na-tan!" He bounced happily in her arms as they went down the stairs, then scrambled over to collect his toys. "We pay wif Mon-tees and trains and books…" He studiously compiled the items he wanted to share with them, which quickly became every toy he could find.

Elizabeth laughed as she went into the kitchen to start pulling out the pans and ingredients they would need to make dinner. She considered starting the meatloaf, knowing it would need time to cook, but decided to wait; it would allow her more time to talk to Allie, and keep both her and Nathan there that much longer. She smiled at the thought just as she heard a knock at the door.

"Dey're here!" Jack cried, jumping to his feet and running for the door. "Dey're here, Mama! Open door!"

Elizabeth fussed with her hair and straightened her skirt again as she hurried to do just that. She had barely unlatched it before Allie dove into her arms.

"I'm so glad you guys finally worked things out!" she exclaimed.

"So am I, Allie. So am I." Before Elizabeth could say any more, Jack threw himself at Allie and dragged her across the room to play. Elizabeth turned back towards Nathan, reaching to take the bakery box from him as he closed the door. She placed the delicious smelling cherry pie on the counter and turned to greet him, only to find herself folded into his arms and his lips covering hers.

They meant it to be a quick kiss of greeting, but as had happened earlier, both lost track of everything but each other.

"You look beautiful," Nathan murmured between kisses.

"It's that same dress you saw me in an hour ago," she laughed.

"You looked beautiful an hour ago, too," he replied. "That shade of blue is perfect for you."

"You clean up pretty nicely yourself, Constable," she teased, running her fingers along the collar of his shirt. "Blue seems to be your color, too."

"So," Allie interrupted loudly. "What are we having for dinner?"

They broke apart, both blushing furiously, and turned to meet Allie's smirk. Elizabeth stepped towards the children. "How does meatloaf sound? I thought I'd give that a try."

"Oh, it's easy!" Allie proclaimed. "And it's one of Uncle Nathan's winter favorites. Did you know that?"

"Care to help me?" Elizabeth asked. Allie nodded, hurrying across the room while Nathan got down to play with Jack. "Why only in winter?" Elizabeth added as they lined up vegetables to chop, meat, and spices.

Allie laughed. "Well his all-time favorite is fresh caught trout, but since that's harder to find in the winter when all the ponds and creeks are frozen over…" She looked at Elizabeth incredulously. "You've really never made meatloaf before?"

Elizabeth laughed and shook her head. "But I make a really good shepherds pie, so that's pretty close, right?"

Allie shrugged. "I guess. But meatloaf can take forever to cook, so maybe instead of one big loaf, we should make four smaller ones. Otherwise, we may not eat until bedtime."

Elizabeth frowned. "I hadn't thought of that. Good thing you're here to save me from dinner disaster!" Allie beamed at the praise, and Elizabeth met Nathan's proud gaze across the room.

They mixed and chopped in companionable silence for a few minutes, preparing the meatloaf as well as potatoes for mashing, carrots to be glazed, and biscuits. Elizabeth finally took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Allie, I wanted to talk to you about how I've been acting towards you and your uncle, and Mr. Bouchard."

Allie paused. "That's okay, Mrs. Thornton she finally said. "Uncle Nathan has been telling me all along that it's grown up stuff. You don't have to explain anything to me."

"I want to explain things," Elizabeth insisted. "And I want to apologize." Allie looked surprised, so Elizabeth took her hands. "I already apologized to your uncle, and he seems to have forgiven me." Allie smirked and nodded. "I need to apologize to you, for how I acted towards you in town and about the dinner invitation and…I put you in the middle of my own mess. It wasn't fair or very grown up of me, and I want to tell you how sorry I am."

Allie smiled. "Really, it's fine. I forgive you. I forgave you as soon as I saw Uncle Nathan's face this afternoon. I have never seen him as happy as he was when he said you and he are courting."

Elizabeth smiled back. "Thank you, Allie. Truly. But do you mind if I try to explain why I acted the way I did? Not as an excuse, but because I want to be honest with you. This is 'grown up stuff' but I think you're old enough to understand it." Allie nodded and for a moment they both went back to their mixing and chopping.

"You know that my husband, Jack's father, was a Mountie?"

Allie nodded solemnly. "He died a couple of months after you were married, right?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Six and a half weeks. We courted for four years and were engaged for another year. He proposed to me the night before he left to fight in the Northern Territories, so we waited to be married until he came home. We had a beautiful wedding. We had dreams and plans for our life and the family we were going to have here in Hope Valley. The day after our wedding, he was offered a short-term assignment at Fort Clay. He would be gone for eight weeks, but it was a training mission, so no danger, no worries. He would receive a promotion upon completing the assignment, which would mean more money for our new life together. So he took it, and instead of the honeymoon we planned in Chicago, I accompanied him to Fort Clay, camping under the stars or staying in cute little bed and breakfasts along the way. He kissed me good-bye at Fort Clay, I got on the stage back to Hope Valley, and I never saw him again."

"The landslide," Allie said quietly. "We were at Fort Clay then. Uncle Nathan helped with the rescue and recovery."

Elizabeth nodded. "When I lost Jack, I thought my life was over. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I couldn't even look at the schoolhouse, let alone go in, because Jack built it for me. I went back to my parents' in Hamilton for a couple of weeks, and they tried to get me to stay, but I had to come back here. I knew if I was ever going to heal, it had to be in the places that we shared. And I lived a shadow life; I went through the motions, but it was like I was mostly dead inside. Then I realized I was pregnant, and having that last little piece of Jack gave me the strength to start living again. I wasn't alone anymore; I had our little boy. I won't go into the details, but suffice to say his birth did not go as planned, but he was here and he was healthy and I had a purpose again."

"And you got over losing his dad?" Allie asked.

Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't think I will ever be over losing Jack. That grief and pain will always be a part of me, just like your mom will always be a part of you. You still miss her, don't you?"

Allie nodded, glancing guiltily across the room. "Every day," she admitted. "Uncle Nathan is the BEST dad I could ever ask for, but sometimes….I wish I could just talk to her. I don't really remember her, just the idea of her. I know she loves us and she's watching over me and Uncle Nathan, but sometimes…."

"You wish you could have just one minute to hold her, right?" Allie nodded, and Elizabeth hugged her as they both let a few tears fall. "I know exactly how you feel. I know that Jack is watching over us, but to know that he'll never meet his son…it breaks my heart. So I do the best I can. As you see, there are pictures of him all over the house, because I want his son to see him, to know who he was. And in helping his son know him, it helps me remember him."

"Like Uncle Nathan telling me stories about him and my mom growing up, or giving me some of her things."

"Exactly," Elizabeth agreed, relieved she understood, and braced herself for the next part. "Now this is where it starts getting complicated. I loved my husband more than I'd ever loved anyone before. Almost as much as I love our son. I'd had my one great love, and I didn't expect to meet anyone else, especially not just a couple of years after losing him, and definitely not another Mountie. So when I started having feelings for your Uncle Nathan, it scared me. It felt like I was betraying Jack, even though I know he wanted me to move on and open my heart again. I wasn't ready, and your uncle saw that, so he gave me the time and space that I needed. When friendship was all I was able to give, he put his growing feelings aside and was a wonderful friend to me and my son. And as my feelings for him grew, I tried to run further and faster away from them."

"What about Mr. Bouchard?" Allie asked bluntly. "Were you having the same feelings for him?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Mr. Bouchard felt safe. I didn't have the same connection with him that I did with my husband or your uncle, and I knew if I lost him, I would be okay. If I lost your uncle…I didn't know how I would survive that. I still don't."

"So you let Mr. Bouchard take you on dates and buy you things because you didn't love him?"

Elizabeth flushed. "As horrible as it is, yes, that is exactly what I did. I thought I could make myself feel more for him. Not enough to break me if I lost him, but enough to be content."

"So what changed? Why did you suddenly decide you want Uncle Nathan? What if you change your mind again?"

Elizabeth met her accusing stare. "I'm not going to change my mind," she promised. "I love your uncle. I love you. And I finally realized that I need to face my fears and stop living that shadow life. My son and I deserve a full, happy life, not just contentment, and a life full of love also means the possibility of pain. I have to take that chance because I need you and your uncle in my life. And, more importantly, I need to be honest with myself, your Uncle Nathan, and Mr. Bouchard. I've been unfair to all of us, and that has to stop."

"So does Mr. Bouchard know about your change of heart?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "I'm going to talk to him tomorrow," she vowed. "I've already faced you and your uncle today. I need a little more time to gather my thoughts before I confront what I've done to him."

Allie nodded, seeming to understand. "Thank you for telling me all of that. I already forgave you, but it's nice to know why you did what you did."

"Awwie!" Their hug was interrupted by Jack's call, and Allie washed her hands and went back to playing.

Nathan sauntered over to the kitchen, smiling. "You appear to have lost your sous chef," he teased. "Anything I can do to help speed things along before we all die of starvation?" Elizabeth scowled at him, which only caused him to laugh and wrap his arms around her. They relaxed in an easy embrace. "You girls seem to have had a nice talk."

Elizabeth nodded. "I'm glad to have things out in the open with her, and that she seems to understand my rather twisted point of view. But I admit, I wasn't entirely honest with her."

Nathan stepped back, still holding her but far enough away that he could look into her eyes. "What part weren't you honest about?"

"I didn't want to tell her everything about my relationship with Lucas. I don't want her to think less of him because…"

"Because…" Nathan prodded.

"I didn't tell her about how he sometimes made me uncomfortable." She felt Nathan's arm tense under her hand and heard his quick inhale.

"What did he do?"

"He just pushed a little too hard sometimes. A lot of the time, actually." Elizabeth hurried to explain before Nathan exploded. "When I told you I wasn't ready for romance, you backed off. You offered me friendship and gave me time to find myself. With Lucas…it's like he saw it as a challenge. When I said I wasn't ready for romance, he planned candlelit dinners with flowers and champagne. He gave me a library. Even the winter festival felt like it was aimed at me, like a reminder of our respective travels as children. When I agreed to go to that reading in Union City as friends, he packed a romantic picnic lunch for on the way and arranged for an intimate dinner in a private a dining room after the reading. Every time I said 'no' he did what he wanted anyway. 'Pretend dates' he called them. Practice for when we went on a real date. And when we were…courting…and he wanted to hold my hand in the saloon, I pulled away. I told him again that I wasn't ready. The next time he saw me, he recited a quote from a book we'd discussed, making me feel guilty for not allowing him what he wanted, so I gave in and held his hand on the street. When we got caught in the rain on a picnic, he tried to kiss me. I pulled away, but for a moment, I thought…I was afraid…"

Nathan hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "You have nothing to feel guilty about, Elizabeth. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't have pushed you. There's a difference between encouraging someone to move on, and forcing them to see or do things your way. I promise, I will never make you do more than you're ready for, no matter how much I want you."

Elizabeth stood on her toes to give him a quick kiss. "I know you won't," she assured him. "But it's another example of how incredibly wrong I was about this whole situation. I let my fear of loving and losing you override my common sense. I have never let a man tell me what to do or how to think. So why did I let Lucas?"

"You said it yourself. You were scared. You were thinking about self-preservation. You thought you were protecting yourself and your son from getting hurt. No one can blame you for that."

"I can blame myself," she grumbled. "And worse, I put my child at risk. Not once during our courtship, pretend or otherwise, did Lucas make an attempt to get to know Jack. All of our dates were about the two of us, and at first that was fine. Nice even. For a couple of hours, I could be carefree. But nothing changed. Before today, besides a wave from the car as he drove by and the occasional 'hello' if he saw Jack and I together on the street, he never tried to get to know the most important part of my world. Why didn't I push him?"

"Because you aren't that kind of person," Nathan soothed, running his hand up and down her back. "You see the good in everyone; you thought he'd come around to being a father figure for Jack."

They were stopped from any further discussion by the timer on the counter. Allie ran across the room to shut it off, turning a blind eye to her uncle and teacher's embrace, and grabbed the oven mitts to take the meat loaves out.

"They're perfect!" Allie exclaimed.

Elizabeth finished stirring up the potatoes while Nathan moved the carrots and biscuits to the table. Jack had already scrambled up into his chair, and was bouncing excitedly, his eyes getting wider as the food appeared on the table before him. They all joined hands in a quick prayer, and then dug in. Jack, who was frequently a picky eater, ate everything on his plate in an effort to mimic Allie. She in turn was trying to show off her best manners for Elizabeth, determined not to give her any reason to change her mind about being with Uncle Nathan. And Nathan himself was enthralled, watching the three most important people in his world finally laugh and eat at the same table.

"I love you," he mouthed across the table to Elizabeth.

"I love you too," she mouthed back, blowing him a kiss.

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile. As far as she was concerned, tonight's dinner couldn't have gone any better. The four of them together just seemed so natural, and she wondered how she'd ever had any doubts. It had been loud and, thanks in large part to Jack, messy, but that's what made it perfect. There were no awkward lulls in or forced conversation (though a few minutes of quiet here and there as everyone enjoyed the food), no pressure to say the right thing. Allie had started the meal a little stiff and serious, like she was trying be a perfect little lady, but Jack's antics and overall lack of care for where he put his food quickly put an end to that. In no time, they were all laughing at the potatoes on the floor, crumbs in his hair, and somehow even carrots in his pants. And it was Allie's suggestion that they strip Jack of his shirt before letting him have pie—cherry stains were much easier to clean off his skin than his clothes!

Elizabeth was also grateful that they allowed her to talk about Jack and their marriage. Every time she mentioned Jack's name around Lucas, he changed the subject. Nathan and Allie laughed when she told them the story of her first endeavor at baking a cake and the auction that followed, suggested pointers when she told them of her attempt to cook trout over a campfire on their honeymoon, and offered condolences when she spoke of trying to box up Jack's things in order to make room for the baby's. They just accepted him as part of her life.

She should have been grading essays, but instead sat at her desk, listening. While she had been getting Jack washed up and ready for bed, Nathan and Allie had finished the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. When Jack pleaded for Allie to read him his bedtime story, Nathan went along "to help". Now she could hear Allie's quiet laughter as she read Jack's favorite story, and the rhythmic creak of the rocker as Nathan lulled her precious boy to sleep.

This is perfect.

Lucas hurried down the road towards the row houses. He had expected Elizabeth to stop at the saloon after school. When she didn't, he was sure she would come see him after dinner. When she again failed to appear, he was forced to adjust his plans, collecting some pastries from Gustav and a bottle of champagne before going to her. Approaching her house, he could see a dim light in the upstairs window, indicating Jack was already in bed. Excellent. That means we can talk without being interrupted.

Elizabeth jumped when she heard a firm knock. The creak of the rocking chair stopped and she heard Nathan cross Jack's room, presumably to put him in bed. He and Allie made no attempt to come downstairs, so she rose to see who was at the door.

"Lucas!" she exclaimed, truly surprised to see him.

"Elizabeth," he replied smoothly. "I thought you would come see me at the saloon, but since you didn't, I brought us some champagne and dessert. May I come in?" He stepped forward, but Elizabeth didn't open the door to welcome him.

"This really isn't a good time," she explained, hoping to discourage him. "Jack is just getting to sleep and I have a lot of essays to grade tonight."

"That's perfect! We'll be quiet, and the essays can wait until tomorrow night."

"Actually, they can't," she said firmly. "I promised the children they would have them back tomorrow."

"Nonsense," Lucas argued, again stepping closer. "You're the teacher. You make the rules. Just tell them something important came up and they will have to wait for their little essays."

"I'm not going to do that," she replied, frustration coming out in her tone. "Lucas, I really would rather we talk another time. Can I please come see you tomorrow?"

"Surely you can spare a few minutes for me?" When she still didn't invite him in, Lucas finally pushed the door open and strode past her.

"Excuse me!" she said sternly. "Lucas, I do not have time for this right now. I am asking you again, please leave so I can get my work done. I will come see you tomorrow."

Lucas didn't acknowledge her. He looked around the cluttered parlor, frowning at the toys and books scattered about. His scowl deepened when he caught sight of a table by the window that was filled with framed photos. Picking up one of the pictures, he studied the man in the serge jacket. Young Jack was a miniature image of his father, and Elizabeth looked radiant as a bride. Imagine how much brighter she'll shine with a society wedding back in Hamilton.

Returning the photo to the table and turning to face Elizabeth he said, "I hope Jack understands the consequences of his behavior this afternoon. I wasted a good deal of time trying to find him, you know."

Elizabeth stood frozen in shock for a moment before replying. "He's barely three. He doesn't know what consequences are yet."

"Well surely we can decide on some sort of punishment for all the trouble he caused."

"I will decide if and how my son will be disciplined," she replied coldly. "Now I need to ask you again to please leave. I have papers to grade and lessons to prepare. Good night, Lucas." She nodded towards the door.

Lucas sighed heavily. It would be easier once they were married and she wasn't teaching anymore, when there would be far fewer distractions. For the moment though, he conceded. "Alright, my dear," he said, crossing to where she stood. "I'll say good-bye. Why don't I meet you after school and we can walk into town together?" He held her arms and leaned in to kiss her.

Elizabeth flinched and turned her head, trying to pull away. "No, Lucas. Please don't."

He straightened up but didn't release her. "Elizabeth, darling, it's alright," he coaxed. "There's no one here to see us." He smiled and leaned in again but she continued to struggle.

"I believe the lady said 'no' and asked you to leave. I can escort you back into town if you like, although we'd be going to the jail instead of the saloon."

Elizabeth was both relieved and unnerved when she heard the voice behind her. She saw the shock on Lucas's face when he took in Nathan standing at the bottom of the stairs. His hold on her arms tightened as his eyes went cold.

Lucas glared down at her furiously. "We have been courting for weeks and you won't even let me kiss you, yet here you are entertaining the good Constable in your bedroom," he hissed. No wonder she was so determined not to let me in! "What do you suppose the town council will have to say about that? And I wonder how the county board of education will feel?"

"How dare you!" she exclaimed. If she could have freed her hand she would have slapped him, good manners be damned.

"Actually, Allie and I were entertaining Jack in his bedroom so Elizabeth could finish cleaning up and start grading papers," Nathan corrected as he strode across the room. "You need to leave. Now."

Lucas spied Allie peeking around the corner of the stairs. His face darkened further as Nathan approached, and he unconsciously tightened his grip on Elizabeth's arms, making her gasp and wince. He let go and pushed away, causing her to stumble. Nathan steadied her and then turned, standing toe to toe with Lucas.

"Enough," Elizabeth said firmly, placing her hand on Nathan's arm. He shifted, pulling her against his side so they faced Lucas together as she spoke. "I can accept that you're angry, and you have some right to be, but I won't tolerate being threatened or spoken to like that. I will stop by the saloon tomorrow to see if you're ready to talk. Until then, it's time for you to leave."

Lucas turned on his heel and stormed out, stepping on a couple of Jack's toys and slamming the door. Elizabeth rushed upstairs to comfort her son, awoken by the commotion. Nathan stood at the door, watching until Lucas disappeared from sight. When he turned back, he found Allie sitting on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks as she held two of Jack's little Mountie figures, both broken.

"These belonged to Jack's dad," she sobbed.

"It's okay," Nathan promised her, kneeling and taking the pieces from her. "We'll get them fixed." He gathered Allie in his arms, soothing her until she stopped crying. "Are you alright?" he asked gently. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

Allie nodded, sitting up and wiping her eyes. "What about Mrs. Thornton? Mr. Bouchard was so mean to her!"

They both stood as Elizabeth came down the stairs, moving slowly as though in shock. When that wore off, she burst into tears and nearly fell into Nathan's embrace. He held her tightly, his heart breaking for her.

"You have nothing to worry about," he promised. "No one is going to take the word of a scorned suitor over yours." He chuckled as he add, "And mine. And Allie. Probably Rosemary and Lee, too. Considering how thin the walls of these houses are, I'm sure they heard every bit of what just happened."