Dear journal,
It's finally finished. All the preparations are in order. The only thing that's left for me to do is figure out what to have for lunch. Can't go carrying out the doom of humanity on an empty stomach now, can I? That and what I should say to Zim when I present my business proposal to him...
I've always had a grudging amount of respect for the object my extraterrestrial obssesion. And it'll be through his eyes that I'll finally find my greatest satisfaction. He'll recognize me for what I've become and that together, we can take over this planet... without help from his race or anyone else! He'll know that I'm more than the fanatical agent from the Swollen Eyeballs, more than Professor Membrane's failure of a son, more than the 'weird kid' the malingering, mattress-soiling, sub-literate morons at school always made me out to be. We can join forces, and then we can rule the world!
...Or maybe not. He might decide I'm competition, and not an ally.
Either way, I don't care.
Nothing in all the world matters more to me right now than my victory over the rest of humanity. I'll hear them surrender. I'll hear them beg forgiveness and say that they were wrong. I'll hear them proclaim me as the greatest human to have ever lived among them, including my legendary father!
Then I'll stomp them all flat.
It wasn't until recently that I came to understand how deep my hatred for humanity ran. I knew I hated a lot of them, but I also knew that somewhere out there were good people. I knew there were those who didn't torment and shun the black sheep, those who didn't call people crazy for saying the Earth was round or that aliens exist, and those who didn't stand back and laugh as they watched testosterone-high sadists push the boundaries of their fellow human's pain and suffering. However, the closest I'd ever come to meeting such people were the disgruntled sister and workaholic father that I called family.
Even then, for years my feelings toward humanity were more along the lines of wanting to 'prove them wrong', of wanting to hear them admit they should have listened to me! But now, I'm done making excuses for their selfishness. I finally came to know their ultimate arrogance, their continual lies. They do nothing good for the sake of humanity. They just use that guise to gain control, to impose their own twisted version of Utopia upon the world. They're not much different from the alien invaders after all.
I wonder if Zim's seen the same truth about his own people? I've eavesdropped on more than a few conversations between him and his leaders, and it amazes me how much obvious contempt they have for him. Yet he talks and carries himself as if he were the greatest invader they'd ever known. Sometimes I envy that unshakable belief he has in himself, that ability to reject harsh reality and impose his own. Hostile as our relationship has been, at least I can say with absolute certainty that I was important to him. He realized that, without me, his mission and glory lost it's meaning. Simultaneously, I realized it was impossible to dedicate my life to 'real science' and what I was meant to do was catch me that alien!
Despite his embarrasingly low success rate, I know Zim's not stupid. Egotistical, yes. He's impatient, impulsive, loud, zealous, dramatic, and he's got some problems getting priorities straight. He's an alien from an advanced race, with access to a universe of power, yet he stays in school all day, enduring it, hating it, fearing it. The thought of sneaking out or setting a robot in his place never crosses his mind. He gets so caught up with the most unimportant details that he ends up getting nothing done. He gets a giant robot, and his plan is to go beat me up with it. He's in control of some impressive stuff, but his sense of control is so horrible that it doesn't matter if his plans are foolproof.
This would be where I come in... I may not be the pinnacle of sanity, but I might just be enough.
But if not, then so be it. I know what's to be expected of me if I continue down this path, with my back to all that I'd believed in and stood up for, but it's one I'm prepared to walk. I will enjoy the sweetness of the looks on my fellow human's faces when I deliver to them the end of their world as they've known it!
Hmm... I think I'll have a light salad.
-End Dib's Log
AUTHOR'S NOTE
This story was started almost 4 years ago. A massive case of writer's block prevents it from being finished. Figured I'd post what I had before I forgot about it and it became lost forever. I have the first few chapters on file, every other chapter written by Penname wa Silver B. But even her awesomeness has limits! So yeah, enjoy and if you have any suggestions... I'm not promising I'll use them, but I'm open to them. Most of the last paragraph is based on what Jhonen said about Zim in an interview with IGN. Anywho, Thank you for reading my story!