It was pouring rain by the time night fell, and the hours that followed only saw it worsen. Cas was glad they weren't heading north as he didn't really want to test his driving abilities in the snow.

Even now, he was having a bit of a difficult time seeing through the windshield even with the wipers moving as fast as they could. "The windshield wipers are less effective than I'd like." He muttered out loud.

"Then ditch the car and get something better." Dean said with a shrug.

Cas whipped his head sideways to stare at him a moment before he had to focus back on the road. "You can't mean that."

"It's a car, Cas. If it's not doing the job, get a different one. If you're so attached to it, give it to Sam or something."

Cas pushed down a shudder, hearing Dean talk so passively about his self proclaimed baby. "It's fine." He said at last.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Suit yourself."

Cas turned his focus back to the road, trying to ride through another wave of uncertainty.

"It is getting worse though." Dean said, absently drumming his fingers on the door frame. "We should stop and grab some food."

"I'm not sure-"

"That you want me around people, blah blah." Dean finished, making a face.

"That wasn't-"

"How you were going to say it, but that's what you meant." Dean cut him off, staring at him and daring him to say otherwise.

Cas looked pained for a moment, but he relented, opting to stay quiet.

"It's three in the fucking morning, Cas. Find a diner. Low stress, minimal public exposure. Low casualty risk." Dean watched Cas resist squirming while he put it so bluntly. "I promise to be on my very best behavior."

Cas frowned, considering for a moment. "Alright."

"We should come across some options soon."

.

Cas felt a bit more at ease, seeing Dean had been right in his assessment. The diner was nearly empty and they were sat well away from anyone else. He felt a stab of guilt when he met Dean's eyes briefly.

The waitress gave them a few minutes before gathering their orders. Cas looked at the menu passively, picking something at random. He looked up to see Dean scrolling through his news feed.

Dean barely looked up to order a burger before returning to his phone. Cas watched Dean's mouth set several minutes later.

"First casualties of Sam's cosmic fuck up." Dean said shortly, shoving his phone into Cas' hands.

Cas frowned, scanning the headline. "Five hundred dead or in critical condition following an unidentified gas leak…"

"Yeah, a gas that causes black streaks in their veins and makes them act like rabid zombies."

"You think this is the darkness?"

"Yes." Dean said plainly. "I do. And you do too."

Cas sighed. "I do." He confirmed. "Was it anywhere else?"

"So far, no." Dean "But I'm betting it's just a matter of time."

"Do we need to hurry there?"

"If I'm reading between the lines right, the national guard took care of it. Thoroughly."

Cas frowned. "Oh."

"Whatever."

"We all were to blame… not just Sam."

"You had my back. You told Sam to come listen to me." Dean replied, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "Sam decided a scrap of caution wasn't worth a two hour delay."

"If you weren't a demon and the roles were reversed, you would have done the same thing."

"Character flaw."

Cas sighed, giving a slight shrug. "Perhaps. But we'll deal with it."

"Yeah." Dean leaned back in his seat, studying Cas. "Well, if you are trusting me to go into a diner, are we adding driving to that mix?"

"Not now."

"Fine." Dean spread out his hands. "So what are the ground rules?"

"You stay with me at all times for now."

"I figured that much."

"There isn't really much else."

Dean stared at him. "That's it? Stick with you?"

"You aren't on a leash, Dean."

"I'm tethered to your side, it's a bit of a leash."

Cas let his shoulders drop. "I suppose. But I don't have an extensive set of rules beyond that."

"Well, I'll give it my best." Dean said with a nod, straightening up as the waitress slid both their plates on the table. He put a generous squirt of ketchup on his burger before closing the bun and digging in. He talked with his mouth full. "Hey, how come the salt on fries and stuff doesn't hurt me?"

"It isn't enough." Cas picked up a fry, taking a look at the small grains of salt clinging to the outside. "Even if it were, I imagine you'd eat it anyway. Humans not only ignore the defense mechanism of peppers but actually strive to make it stronger."

"Huh." Dean said, studying a fry critically before popping it in his mouth. "You have a case for us?"

Cas shook his head. "Not yet. Sam is searching for one."

"So what about the meantime?"

Cas gave a half shrug, letting out his breath. "Establish routine?"

"Fun." Dean cracked his neck. "But we gotta get a motel room tonight."

Cas furrowed his brow. "Neither of us sleep."

"I gotta shower, man. Sweat or no, I'm feelin' the need."

"You did not shower at the cabin."

"Dude, I'm surprised you showered at the cabin. That bathroom sucks."

Cas frowned. "Fair."

Dean didn't even wait to finish his own meal before he slid Cas' over for a bite, purposely brushing past Cas' hand while he did so. He froze for a second before reaching back and grabbing his fingers. "Huh."

Cas tilted his head. "What?"

"You've lost the magic. The mark used to feel electric when we touched, now it's just normal."

Cas rolled his eyes. "I think we'll manage." He watched Dean flash a grin before he dug back into his burger, but notably he didn't let go of Cas' hand.

"So what do we do if Sam can't catch us a case?"

"I don't know." Cas admitted. "We did not work out a very detailed plan."

"Don't even have the excuse of good food to travel to."

"You can still eat."

"Obviously." Dean replied, taking a moment to finish off his fries. "Still, not as fun."

Cas found himself looking down at their hands. "Mmh."

Dean frowned, studying Cas for a moment. "Though we should try a bunch of foods on you anyway."

Cas tilted his head.

"You tried eating, what, one time?" He waited for the nod. "There might be a food out there that tastes good to you."

"Why is this so important for you?"

Dean furrowed his brows. "You like food. It's one of the only things you like about being human. I don't think we should write that off." He pulled his hand back to grab and slide the angel's plate a little closer to him.

Cas looked at the sandwich incredulously. "You think-"

"Just try it." Dean said flatly.

Cas sighed. He couldn't even remember what it was. He took a bite, considering it.

"Well?"

"No."

Dean shrugged, yanking the food back. "We'll keep trying things." He said absently, finishing the rest of the sandwich.

He sat back, crumpling up his napkin and throwing it on the plate.

Cas watched Dean get lost in thought, his focus elsewhere. Cas watched him take a sip of his coffee. "I really do miss coffee." Cas said. "The only thing that made sleeping better."

"I got used to you going to sleep." Dean admitted. "Half the time I just went and laid down on one of the cots… felt natural."

"The human mind is programmed to want routine."

"I'm not human."

"You have been for decades. That is not so easily interrupted."

"Maybe."

"It makes sense to crave some sort of normality."

"When I was human that's what I wanted." He was quiet while the waitress dropped off their check. He absently ran his hands over the outside of his mug. "Who knows what I want now."

Cas looked until he got Dean's full attention. "You are falling prey to the idea that you now is someone completely different from who you were. I made that mistake before... You are just you."

Dean frowned, considering. "Yeah, I guess." He admitted.

Cas watched him stare into the remains of his coffee for a moment. "Do you still want to get a motel?"

"I would kill for a shower."

"Alright."

.

Dean had his door half open before Cas came to a complete stop in the motel parking lot.

"Dean…" Cas said, trying not to look hurried as he stepped out of the car.

"I promise I'm not gonna kill the kid at the desk." Dean said with an eye roll. "Fine, be my guest." He said, indicating the office.

Cas hesitated. "No, you go." He finally said. "I promised Sam I would check in anyway."

Dean nodded, turning around and heading inside to procure a set of keys.

Cas sighed, getting out and looking around them. Definitely on the smaller side as far as motels go. Only two other cars in the parking lot. He pulled out his phone.

Sam picked up on the second ring. "Hey, Cas. How's it going?"

"We have decided to stop at a motel for the night."

"Instead of driving?"

Cas sidestepped a puddle as he rounded the car to the trunk, opening it. "Dean requested a shower, and I didn't see a reason to deny it."

"Fair enough… How does he seem?"

Cas hesitated for a moment, reviewing the day so far. "Good."

"Good?" Sam asked, incredulously.

"Yes." Cas said, sounding more sure. "He is different… without the mark…"

"At least for now."

"At least for now." Cas agreed. He pulled an empty canvas duffel bag over, grabbing a couple cans of salt and spray paint. "Have you heard of any cases that might require our attention?"

"No." Sam said. "Got my ear to the ground, put out word to a few hunters. Used to know someone who has a knack for finding cases, but no one's heard from him in ages." Sam sighed, thinking of Garth. "Doesn't usually mean good news."

"I am sorry to hear." Cas dug around until he came up with the gun Sam had left him, still loaded with devils trap bullets. Just in case.

"What are you two going to do until then?"

He zipped up the bag, throwing it into the back seat on top of Dean's before closing the warded trunk. "We'll probably just drive. We can look for cases as well. I'll call you if we find something."

Sam nodded. He was quiet for a minute. "Cas… near Iowa… there was a town-"

"We know." Cas said softly. "Dean believes the threat was eliminated."

"Yeah, maybe." Sam said slowly. "Actually I think we should probably check it out… if you're waiting for a case anyway…"

Cas considered that. "I was hesitant to return to Iowa."

"You said he's doing good."

Cas leaned his head back. "Yeah." He said, resigned. "I hope that maintains."

"If you feel something's not right, you pull the plug." Sam said quickly. "We can handle checking it out."

"I'll let you know if that happens." Cas agreed.

Sam was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. "Cas, that's hundreds of people."

"You didn't kill those people, Sam. She did."

"You're kidding, right?"

"I am not."

Sam breathed out a harsh laugh. "Dean's right. He begged me to stop and hear him out. Death himself came with a warning, and I ignored it. Hundreds of people are dead. How many more are coming?"

"It would have been nice if Death could have bothered to tell you to stop directly." Cas muttered.

"No kidding." Sam said, somewhat defeated. "I don't even know where to begin fixing this."

"Yes you do." Cas said firmly. "You are sending Dean and I to investigate what happened. We will make a plan once we have all the available data and hope it is enough."

"I guess."

"I will let you know what we find."

"Thanks, Cas." Sam hesitated. "For everything."

"We made the right choice… letting him go."

"I hope you're right."

Cas looked up, watching Dean come out of the small office. "I have to go."

"Call tomorrow."

"Of course." Cas hung up the phone, shoving it into his coat pocket before leaning in to grab his bag. He tossed Dean his, turning and waiting for Dean to lead the way.

"How's Sammy doing?"

"He is well."

"So, he got anything?"

"Sam suggested that we investigate the incident near Norwood. Just to see if there is anything we can learn about the Darkness."

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, alright. But we're not leaving tonight."

"Because you wish to shower."

"Damn right." Dean's mouth curled into a grin. "Come on, Cas, what say you join me?"

"Dean-"

"You me, steamy hot water... A shower theoretically big enough for two."

"I have no need of showering anymore." Cas said simply.

Dean didn't hesitate, pushing sideways with as much force as possible, catching Cas unaware. The angel tried to right himself but didn't manage to stay on his feet. He blinked up through the pouring rain at the demon who was fully grinning now.

"Got a bit of mud you might want to get off there."

Cas stared at him for a moment in disbelief from his seat in the sopping wet dirt. He was surprised by the smile and laugh, feeling somehow a bit more at ease. He accepted the offered hand, allowing himself to be hauled back onto his feet. "I suppose you are right."

"That's what I like to hear." He said, not caring that Cas was probably kidding. He slapped his ass before turning to unlock the door, ignoring Cas' flat stare.

Cas followed him inside, coming to a stop as soon as the door closed. He was surprised by the single bed in the middle of the room.

Dean watched his expression, a small grin forming. "What, you're too good to share a bed with me?"

"No." Cas replied. "I just did not realize it was an option." The motels they stayed in the last time Dean was human, they simply shared one of the two smaller beds. He realized that was probably on purpose.

Dean shrugged, not caring to comment. "Weeks with that crappy couch and those two crappy cots. We have the motel, might as well stay a while. And if we're staying, we finally get to stretch out and enjoy a movie properly.

"I would like that."

Dean shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it over one of the chairs by the window table. He crossed back to Cas. "Come on, get out of your wet coat." He said, holding his hand out for it.

Cas took off his overcoat, handing it over.

Dean inspected the fabric, walking it into the bathroom and switching on the shower. He held the coat in the spray, waiting for the mud to slide off before he shook it out, giving it a gentle wring before walking back and hanging it over the back of the chair to dry. "There. Good as new in the morning."

"Dean I-"

Dean was already pulling at his suit coat, and Cas moved slightly to help him get it over his shoulders without just dislocating them. "Your shoes are soaked through too, come on." He wasn't sure if Cas still had whatever angel mojo it took to dry off, but Cas hadn't and he wasn't gonna wait and find out.

Cas rolled his eyes, using his foot to flick off each shoe, kicking them under the table.

Dean stepped back, removing his own damp shirt and tossing it aside. He turned around, freezing as he watched Cas slip out of his pants. "Oh-"

Cas furrowed his brow. "What?" He asked, beginning to loosen his tie enough to slip over his head. "Is there a problem?"

"No I-" Dean shook his head, expression settling into a sly smile. "No problems whatsoever." He walked over, reaching up and beginning to work on the buttons of Cas' shirt, not blind to the way Cas' eyes were slipping over his shoulders before finally resting on the bare patch of skin where once sat the mark of Cain. "So… what now?"

"I believe you said something about a shower."

"Yeah." Dean said, pulling open Cas' shirt and running his hand from Cas' collar bone down towards his hips. "Thought you were kidding about joining me. Happy to be wrong." He tugged at the last offending layer of clothing, letting Cas step out of it.

Dean slid an arm behind Cas' back to guide him towards the motel bathroom, for once unhurried. He felt far more present than he ever had before. He took in each movement, reveling in the warmth of where they barely pressed together, appreciating the view when Cas leaned back against the counter, waiting for Dean to determine the water was hot enough he was satisfied getting in.

He was in control, not the mark. He was free of the mark. This was him.

I am just me.