XII
"All I'm saying is one of you should have called me," Kurt says for what must be the hundredth time since he and Blaine plowed through Quinn's front door at eight o'clock on Friday evening, takeout and alcohol in tow.
Quinn is spread out on her couch, smiling lazily as she sips at her wine. "Kurt," she says; "stop whining, would you? It doesn't suit you."
"Makes him sound like one of the Teletubbies, doesn't it?" Blaine offers, and he's clearly very drunk, because he wouldn't normally say something like that.
Kurt gasps. "My own boyfriend!" He throws a cushion at where Blaine is spread out on the floor, but it misses spectacularly. Kurt looks at Quinn. "Now, everybody's turned against me," he whines.
Quinn rolls her eyes. "God, you're such a diva."
"I would have totally slapped her," Kurt declares. "And, then, maybe given her some kind of truth serum, so we can finally figure out just what her deal is."
Quinn downs the remainder of her wine, and then slowly shifts into an upright position. "If I'm being honest," she starts; "right now, Julia Fairchild is literally the furthest thing from my mind."
"Oh?"
Quinn audibly swallows. "Rachel… is… acting weird."
Kurt braces himself, even as Blaine asks, "Weirder than normal?"
Both Quinn and Kurt shoot him a heated look, and he winces, immediately ducking his head.
Kurt clears his throat. "What kind of weird?" he asks Quinn.
Quinn meets his gaze from behind her glasses. "It's as if she's fighting against something," she says, frowning slightly. "Fighting against me."
Kurt drops his gaze.
"Am I reading it wrong?" she asks, and she hates how vulnerable she sounds. "Everything just feels as if it's… unravelling, and I don't know what to do to stop it. What's happening, Kurt? I don't know what's happening."
Kurt feels helpless, and he hates that he knows what he knows. It would be easy to tell Quinn that Rachel is probably trying to work through her confusing feelings about her, but he knows he can't. It would be betraying Rachel, and it would be giving Quinn false hope that she really doesn't need.
"I'm - I'm - " Quinn starts and stops.
"What?"
"I'm in trouble, Kurt," she whispers.
Kurt leans forward, trying to offer her something, anything. He doesn't know what to say to make any of it better.
"Kurt?"
"Hmm?"
"What do I do?"
He's been trying to tell her - he's been telling them both - but he thinks it's too late now. Quinn won't be able to end it, which is why he's been pushing Rachel to do it. They can't keep doing this.
They're just going to hurt each other.
They're already hurting each other.
"I don't know," Kurt eventually says, which is the truth.
Blaine pipes up from the floor, recovering from his earlier rebuke, and says, "You could just tell her the truth."
This time, when Quinn throws a cushion at him, she doesn't miss.
"We're going on a double date."
Rachel actually trips over her own feet - clad in the insane high heels her character has to wear for the upcoming scene - when Frankie says the words right in her ear.
"Well, that's what Jasmine says," Frankie adds a moment later. "When are you and Quinn free?"
Rachel opens her mouth, and then closes it. Asking her about Quinn is a bit of a problem at the moment, because she really doesn't know if Quinn would be free, and she doesn't know if she can ask Quinn to do anything more for her.
The two of them haven't seen each other in a few days - since that fateful Thursday night that they went on their pretend date - because they've both been very busy.
At least, that's what Quinn tells her.
Rachel gets the feeling Quinn is actually avoiding her, but she's never going to ask. She's not brave enough to know what the answer is. Something very specific is happening between them, and she can't be sure what it is, exactly.
"Rachel?" Frankie questions, eyeing her curiously. "Is everything okay?"
Rachel just about manages to smile at him, unable to conjure up a lie to placate his worry. He should be worried, because she's worried, and she doesn't know how to go about alleviating it.
Well.
She has an idea that she may or may not see through, based on how much work they can get done today. All the scenes are coming together nicely, even with the costumes and props.
The problem Elliot seems to be having is making sure the stage transformations work seamlessly with the scene changes. The set, itself, is minimilast in design, so it should come together easily.
Rachel rather enjoys being told what to do, and then doing it. Elliot once told her she takes direction well, and she couldn't help thinking back to Mr Schuester, who would probably disagree with him.
The difference, Rachel muses, is that Elliot is actually competent as a director, and that's that about that.
"Did I tell you we ran into Quinn's ex?" Rachel starts, just trying to help herself make sense of what she's feeling. "The roommate. Julia."
Frankie's eyes widen. "Oh?"
"Things have been a little… weird since then," she confesses. "I know I shouldn't, but I can't help feeling threatened, and it's manifesting in my, uh, acting as if I don't trust her. Which I do. Of course, I do. I just - I can't help it."
"Are you fighting?"
Rachel frowns. "I think the problem is we're not fighting," she explains. "We do a lot better when we can just yell at each other, but everything that's going unspoken now, and it's just making it worse."
Frankie opens his mouth to say something, but Elliot's voice interrupts them, telling them to take their places. "We'll talk later," he assures her, and then Rachel allows herself to fall into her character, blissfully forgetting her troubles for a few hours.
Rachel and Frankie don't get the chance to talk.
As soon as Elliot lets them go, Jasmine steals him away, and Rachel gathers her things to make the trek towards Columbia's campus.
She wants to see Quinn.
She misses Quinn.
Rachel doesn't bother trying to call or text Quinn, because she suspects she'll get a reply only later tonight when Quinn is crawling into bed. It's been that kind of week, she guesses, and she expects to find Quinn buried in paperwork or hounded by students.
What she finds is neither of those things.
Quinn is in her office, yes, casually sitting on Jason's desk as she, said boy and another girl watch some YouTube video on Jason's screen. Quinn is laughing gloriously, and Rachel can't help the flash of… jealousy she feels at the sight of the other girl's hand on Quinn's shoulder.
It takes a moment for them to notice Rachel, and Quinn really doesn't react the way Rachel expects. Instead of her smile fading and her body tensing, Quinn's smile widens and she immediately slips off the desk, practically skipping towards Rachel.
"Hello, you," Quinn says, pulling her into a hug. "I didn't expect to see you. What are you doing here?"
Rachel feels a little off-kilter, but she soaks up Quinn's warmth that's wrapped around her, trying to settle herself. "I figured you would skip out on dinner, so I thought I would treat you. Think you can spare a half hour?"
"For you, of course," Quinn automatically says, and then releases her, moving to fetch her coat and purse from behind her desk. "Oh, Rach, this is Lizzie," Quinn says, almost offhandedly. "She's from the office next door. Liz, this is Rachel, my best friend in the entire world." Her grin is entirely too adorable. "Jason, Rachel, you two know each other."
Rachel smiles at the boy, even if she doesn't care much for him. She doesn't like the way he looks at Quinn. Now that she thinks of it, she also doesn't like the way this Liz girl looks at Quinn, either.
Quinn interrupts her thoughts when she appears in front of her, smiling warmly. "I'm so glad you're here," she says. "I missed you."
Rachel's focus stays on Quinn, and she doesn't know what she's ever been worried about, all of a sudden. "Ready to go?"
Quinn nods, and then glances over her shoulder. "Jase, see you later," she says. "Liz, if I don't see you, have a good night." And then they're going, Quinn's hand automatically slipping into Rachel's.
The brunette can't help feeling smug as Quinn leads her out of the office, and she even chances a glance back at the pair, unsurprised to find slight scowls on both their faces.
Because she has all of Quinn's attention, and that doesn't seem to dissipate, even as they walk a few blocks east towards one of Quinn's favourite cafés. It's also a place that has vegan options, which Rachel appreciates.
They find a booth easily enough, and the waiter greets Quinn as if he knows her. Which, in hindsight, he probably does, based on the number of times Rachel assumes Quinn comes here.
"Hi, Luis," Quinn says. "I'll just have my usual, please, and this lady over here will have, um, number three on the vegan menu. Can we also get some water? Still, please."
Luis grins at her. "I'll get right on it," he declares, and Rachel imagines he really will.
Quinn looks at Rachel. "I hope you don't mind I ordered for you," she says unnecessarily. "It just seems easier to skip to what we both know what was going to happen."
Rachel sticks out her tongue for a moment, and then smiles.
Quinn sighs heavily. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."
"We've been busy."
Quinn drops her gaze, and Rachel doesn't miss the flash of guilt in her eyes. "I suppose we have," she murmurs. It's silent for several seconds, and then Quinn lifts her head slightly and smiles at her. "I have something to tell you."
"Oh?"
"I think I finally decided on a topic I want to pursue for my Doctorate."
Rachel leans forward, showing her interest in whatever Quinn has to say. She momentarily flashes back to the number of times she's unconsciously moved closer to Quinn, in an attempt to -
To what?
Just, get closer.
She's distinctly aware that she's never wanted to be too far away from Quinn, and that's a truth that settles lightly on her chest. It doesn't even feel as if it weighs anything. It's just a thing - the sky is blue and Rachel likes having Quinn close - so she doesn't spend too much time dwelling on what it could possibly mean.
Rachel remembers pushing hard, but not really at the same time, for Quinn to come to Columbia for Graduate School. Santana and Kurt helped, as well, and Rachel liked to think it was always a sure thing, if only she didn't get the sense that Julia was just waiting to exert whatever power she liked to think she had over Quinn and thwart all their plans.
It bothers Rachel, sometimes, that Julia's plans not to come to New York didn't involve Quinn. She's not upset about it, by any means, but Rachel was convinced that whatever the woman had in play was going to result in Quinn not coming to New York either.
And yet, here Quinn Fabray sits, smiling lopsidedly at her with twinkling eyes and pink cheeks.
Rachel can't stop herself from thinking just how perfect Quinn is like this. She seems lighter, somehow, even happy. It's not something that Quinn generally allows herself to be, and Rachel likes to think she gets to see a lot more of it than the average person.
As if Quinn is happier when she's with her.
It's a slightly wild, conceited thought, but Rachel really can't help it. She thinks it's a thought that could possibly help her work through all her own confusing feelings about their relationship.
Their friendship.
For a second, all she wants to do is ask Quinn how she feels. It would be so easy to ask if the woman is dealing with anything Rachel is. Does Quinn have any confusing feelings? Is Quinn attracted to her? Could she be?
Rachel recognises that, even if Quinn were struggling through phantom feelings; she wouldn't have the added bonus of trying to deal with her sexuality on top of everything. Quinn is settled on that front, preferring women to men and unafraid of it.
Until these past few weeks, Rachel was pretty sure she was set for life, as well. But, apparently not, if her stomach does somersaults whenever Quinn looks at her like that.
Like this.
As if nobody else even exists in the entire world.
"I was toying with quite a few topics," Quinn says, oblivious to Rachel's inner monologue. "I've dealt a lot with… sexuality in the past."
Rachel knows this. A lot of her Undergrad was based in gay and women's rights, and Quinn wrote her final-year paper on the LGBT community at Yale. She throws herself into things so wholeheartedly, and it's one of the things Rachel admires about her.
"For my Doctorate, I'm planning on tackling mother/daughter relationships," Quinn says, looking slightly guilty again.
"Oh?"
"With a focus on, well, adoption, as well as the role it can play on those relationships."
Rachel blinks, suddenly unsure what to say. "That's…" She really doesn't know what to say, and it shows.
Quinn winces slightly, and then leans back when Luis returns with their drinks.
"Food should be out in a few minutes," he assures them, and then disappears after receiving a grateful smile from Quinn.
Rachel can't bring herself to react or say or do anything, and the silence is turning awkward.
Quinn clears her throat, and then sips at her usual cappuccino. She's going to need all the caffeine she can get to make it through the rest of the night. She has an endless amount of marking due, and Kylie has been wanting her fourth chapter edits sent in since Monday.
Quinn didn't even realise she needed to see Rachel until she saw her. She kind of wants to reach out and touch her now, reassure her somehow, but she just focuses on her drink until Rachel recovers from whatever is happening to her right now.
It takes another thirty-seven seconds, but Rachel eventually settles. She doesn't even know why she's reacting this way. She's buried all her confused feelings when it comes to Shelby and, honestly, she really doesn't need to be dealing with that when she's still trying to figure out if she finds Quinn attractive, or if she's actually attracted to her.
Looking at her now, Rachel can see how absolutely gorgeous the woman before her is. Aesthetically, she's stunning.
She's grace, personified. Elegance in every way, and Rachel has always been slightly jealous of how natural she is at everything. It's just not fair, and this is the first time Rachel acknowledges that her jealousy hasn't always been aimed at Quinn.
It's been directed at… people… around Quinn.
She remembers watching Quinn in high school, and wishing she would smile at her the way she did at Brittany or even at Mike whenever he did something dorky. She remembers wishing Quinn would link arms with her whenever she saw her giggling with Mercedes.
That hasn't changed over the years. She feels irrationally jealous whenever she hears that Quinn has had dinner with Kurt and Blaine or lunch with Santana. She thinks it's because she just doesn't like being left out, but she knows that's not it. The feelings don't arise when she knows Santana and Kurt are bitching over wine.
It's Quinn.
Of course, it's Quinn.
"I thought you wanted to tackle something not so personal," Rachel eventually says.
"I thought about it," Quinn says; "but I realised that I would lose authenticity if I were to do that, and I'm not willing to risk it. My writing is its best when I'm real and true."
Rachel has no qualms against reaching across the table and taking hold of her hand, squeezing it gently. "Did I tell you how proud I am of you?"
Quinn, predictably, blushes, and Rachel is so charmed, she can barely breathe.
Thankfully, Luis chooses that moment to arrive, and the two of them settle in to eat in silence. Rachel watches from beneath her lashes as Quinn very carefully cuts up her food and prepares her perfect forkfuls.
She's so stinking cute, absently humming to herself after every bite. Rachel's sure Quinn even does a little dance in her seat, and Rachel really just wants to keep touching her in some way.
Just to make sure she's real.
"Quinn?"
Quinn dabs at her mouth with her napkin before she says, "Yes?"
"I have to tell you something," she says, somewhat nervously. "It's about Frankie and Jasmine."
"Oh?"
"They want to go on a double date with us."
Quinn blinks slowly. "A double date?"
Rachel nods. "With us."
"What did you say?"
"That I would talk to you first."
Quinn drops her gaze, and then hesitantly asks, "Do you think that's a good idea?"
"What?" she questions. "Asking you first."
Quinn gives her a significant look, and Rachel blushes.
"Right," Rachel murmurs. "The date. Do you not want to go?"
"Don't do that," Quinn says, and the air grows uncomfortable. "You haven't even asked me."
Rachel can't tell what she's done wrong, but she knows it's something. She straightens in her seat, and looks at Quinn's face. "I did tell them I would ask you first," she says. "So, this is my asking. Would you like to go on a double date with me, Frankie and Jasmine?"
Quinn clenches her jaw, visibly thinking. "This has nothing to do with the theatre?"
"It's really just us hanging out with my friends," Rachel says. "We can even just go as friends, you know? Nothing has to be pretend."
"They think we're a couple, Rach."
"I just - I don't want you to be uncomfortable," Rachel says. "I just want to spend time with you, without there having to be some - "
"Some what?"
"Pretence," she whispers. "I want just one thing to be real."
Quinn frowns, clearly not following. "What are you talking about?"
Rachel can't actually look at her. "Please will you just say yes."
Quinn already knows she was always going to say yes. She just doesn't like the assumption, and Rachel knows that. "Okay," Quinn says.
"Okay?"
Quinn just smiles as she nods, and then returns her attention to her food. They eat in silence for a while, allowing the discomfort to bleed out of the air until Quinn feels the tension leave her body.
By the time Quinn orders them some vegan brownies to share, they're back to chatting about nothing important.
Like, whether Rachel would ever just pick up her entire life and move somewhere completely foreign, or whether Quinn would consider naming any pet she gets Crookshanks.
Rachel probably wouldn't - she's dreamed of living in New York her entire life - and Quinn definitely would - because, come on, why wouldn't she?
When Quinn eventually has to get back to her office, Rachel walks with her, their arms linked. This part has always been easy with Quinn, and she's relieved that she hasn't ruined things completely.
Rachel walks her all the way to her office door, and they can both tell the light is still on. She really doesn't want to leave, and Quinn must sense it, because she says, "Do you want to hang out for a while?" and Rachel immediately agrees.
Jason lifts his gaze when they enter, and Quinn hands him the bag of brownies that she bought for him. He's obviously surprised, but he smiles in thanks and then pretends to ignore them when Quinn steals a chair from one of the empty desks and drags it to position it right beside hers.
Rachel has always found the way Quinn concentrates fascinating. She has this intensity to her that makes her so, so attractive, and Rachel hasn't really been afforded the opportunity to study her this way before.
Quinn has her alphabetising her students' papers according to their student numbers to keep her occupied, and Rachel revels in trying to distract the blonde as much as possible. She doesn't actually say anything, but Quinn is particularly susceptible to Rachel stretching her arms across her line of sight and Rachel dragging her feet along Quinn's calves.
God, she's actually playing footsie with Quinn.
Quinn keeps pinching her forearm to get her to stay focused, and Rachel can't stop herself from kissing her cheek in response.
Quinn smiles this lazy, content smile, and then pinches her again.
They're acting like children, Rachel knows, but it's probably the most fun she's had all week. She's missed moments like this with Quinn, and she doesn't even read too much into the fact that she rests her hand on Quinn's thigh whenever she wants to get her attention.
Quinn's breathing keeps catching, and Rachel is pretty sure the blonde is blushing. She's not going to read too much into it, even if she desperately wants to.
Quinn pinches her forearm again, and then asks, "When are we going on this date?"
"I have no idea," she says, immediately taking out her phone to text Frankie. "It'll probably be some time this weekend. Are you free on Saturday?"
Quinn hums, slightly distracted by what's on her right computer screen. She has two of them. Well, she has her laptop, and then a second screen connected via HDMI.
"Quinn?"
"Hmm?"
"Saturday?"
Quinn looks at her. "Oh, yeah, uh, I can do the afternoon," she says. "Sorry, my mom just emailed about Thanksgiving. She wants me to book my ticket home to land on Tuesday morning, so she has to make only one trip to Columbus, because my sister is arriving then."
Rachel blinks slowly, because she's completely forgotten that Thanksgiving is -
Wait.
It's next week.
"You're not going home, are you?" Quinn asks.
"No, we'll be rehearsing right through," she says. "Previews are the following week, and then it's opening night. I doubt I'm going to get much more than Thursday off."
Quinn gasps dramatically. "Not even Black Friday?"
"I know," she says with a pout. "I think Kurt is going to be more heartbroken than I am."
"Oh, definitely," Quinn agrees. "He and Blaine are also staying, right?"
Rachel nods. "It's just you and San heading home, as far as I know."
"You'll get the apartment all to yourself," Quinn offers a silver lining.
Rachel still pouts. "I'm going to miss you."
Quinn looks at her properly then, turning her upper body and meeting Rachel's gaze. "I'll be back before you know it," she says, and then she's the one to kiss Rachel's cheek. "And, really, don't envy me or anything, because I'm the one who has to spend an awkward weekend with my family."
Rachel winces. "How are things with Frannie?"
Quinn shrugs. "Better, these days, but she kind of married a clone of my father, so our relationship can only go so far when her idiot husband, Doug, believes I'm a sinner and should burn in Hell for deigning to lie with a woman."
Rachel's eyes widen. "That sounds horrible."
"I almost want to invite Santana over, just to see if he'll actually combust."
Rachel giggles softly. "Oh, I would pay good money to see that."
Quinn hums. "Any word from Frankie?"
"Hmm?"
"The date."
"Oh." She looks at her phone to see that Frankie has actually replied. "Apparently, there's this open-air cinema they're hosting at Central Park this weekend. Are you interested?"
Quinn smiles. "Sounds good," she says. "But, fuck, we're going to freeze."
"I'll keep you warm," Rachel says unthinkingly.
Quinn raises her eyebrows. "Yeah?"
Rachel blushes, but still manages to nod. "Yeah."
Quinn audibly swallows. "It's the least you can do, huh?" she says, trying for levity.
Rachel pokes her in the ribs. "Be nice."
"I am nice."
"That's what you think, but I know better," Rachel says, and then immediately panics at the suddenly stricken look on Quinn's face. "What?"
"You don't really think that, do you?" Quinn asks, and her voice sounds so small.
Rachel glances nervously at Jason, who is faking actually working so hard. She suddenly wants to throw something at him. "Oh, honey," Rachel whispers as she leans in close to Quinn. "Of course, I don't."
"But - "
"Ssh," Rachel gently interrupts, her left hand lifting to cup Quinn's cheek. "You're the nicest, kindest person I know."
"I wasn't always."
"I know," Rachel says, because Quinn has never really allowed either of them to hide from the fact Quinn used to be a relentless bully. "But, you've grown, and you've learned, and I'm so proud of this person you are."
The way Quinn looks at her makes Rachel want to hold the blonde in her arms for all of eternity. She just looks so lost, and Rachel doesn't know what to do. Quinn has these moments when she reverts back to that lost teenager who was still desperately trying to figure herself out, and the guilt of her actions sits heavily on her mind.
"You're not that girl anymore," Rachel murmurs, pulling Quinn into a hug and speaking right into her ear. "You're not her, and you know exactly who you are now. The same way I do. I love who you are, even when you constantly beat me at Scrabble."
Quinn lets out a wet laugh as her own arms close around Rachel's slim waist. She almost wants to drag the woman into her lap, but she contains herself. She wouldn't be able to explain that.
"I don't appreciate your making my best friend feel anything but worthy," Rachel whispers into her ear. "She's worked very hard to accept herself, and I don't want her to doubt how far she's come."
Quinn breathes out slowly. "I'll let her know."
"Good."
Quinn smiles softly as she pulls back to look at Rachel's face. She's so close, and Quinn finds herself willing to lose herself in those chestnut eyes that seem to hold her captive.
They stare at each other for a slice of forever, and it takes Jason reaching into his bag of brownies to sever the connection.
Quinn drops her gaze, blushing furiously, and Rachel just kisses her left cheek, and then her left eyelid, and then the tip of her nose.
"I have to get back to work," Quinn eventually says.
Rachel nods. "I should probably head home, anyway," she says. "I promised San I would quiz her for her… uh, one of her exams. I think it's Physiology."
"Your favourite."
"It's not my fault all those obscure things are so hard to say," she complains with a pout. "Why does medicine have to be so difficult?"
Quinn looks thoughtful. "It makes you wonder, doesn't it?"
"What?"
"The human body," she says. "It's the most intricate, highly-functioning creation in this world. Its possibilities are endless, and I think it's amazing that people dedicate their entire lives to learning about it."
It's moments like these that makes Rachel wonder how this gorgeous, intelligent woman is still single. She's everybody's dream, in every way. The evidence of it was just in this office more than ninety minutes ago.
Jason and Liz obviously agree with Rachel.
"You actually really wanted to be a doctor, didn't you?" Rachel says, frowning slightly, because it feels like something Quinn really considered, even if she was slightly blasé about it the last time they talked about it.
Quinn nods. "For a while, yes," she says. "I think the accident could have tipped me either way, but now I just really hate hospitals. It reminds me too much of… that time. Of being powerless and useless and in so much pain, and I don't think I could face that every day."
"So, you decided to become an actress, huh?" Rachel teases, because her heart is hurting just remembering the way Quinn looked so helpless in her hospital bed.
"And, then, a writer," Quinn says. "I've pretty much been confused my entire life."
Rachel threads her fingers through Quinn's hair. "You're not confused anymore, are you?"
Quinn leans into her touch. "I'm exactly where I'm meant to be."
"Yeah?" Rachel murmurs. "With me?"
"With you," Quinn confirms, and she's trying desperately not to think about how much more difficult she's making it for herself to survive this when it's all over.
Rachel smiles at her, because this is one of those moments that will stay with them forever. Eventually, she says, "I should go."
"Hmm," Quinn says, as she gets to her feet to walk Rachel out. She gathers the brunette's coat, which she helps her put on, before they exit the office together, Rachel absently saying goodbye to Jason.
Quinn walks Rachel all the way to the nearest subway station, the two of them chatting quietly, and Quinn allows herself to lose herself in how easy this all feels.
Just for this moment.
"Thank you for coming to see me," Quinn says while they're still on the street. "I didn't even know I needed it until I did."
"Me too," Rachel says, stepping into Quinn's space and hugging her tightly. "I'll text you when I know more about Saturday, okay?"
When they part, Rachel kisses her cheek, and then heads down the stairs. Quinn makes sure Rachel is safely inside before she heads back to her office.
Jason is still there, and he lifts his gaze to look at her when she enters.
Quinn's smile is slightly tight, because she has a feeling she knows what's coming.
"I didn't know you two were dating," he says, and Quinn feels the reality of her situation settle heavily on her chest.
"Yeah," is all she says.
There's nothing more to say, anyway.
Denise Carpenter: Rachel, sweetie, I was wondering if I could get Quinn's number from you. Tom would still like to contact her about possibly working with her, and he keeps forgetting to get it from you whenever he's at the theatre.
Rachel rereads the text three times, a slight frown on her face. It's not wildly out of the blue, but there's something off about the wording.
It doesn't sound anything like Denny.
Rachel reasons it could be Tom just texting from Denny's phone. It's what she tells herself, anyway, as she sends off Quinn's contact details, which includes her various email addresses, birth date and addresses.
Immediately afterwards, she texts Quinn to let her know to expect some form of contact from Tom.
Exactly fifteen seconds later, her phone rings, and Quinn's face appears on her screen. She automatically smiles, and Jasmine pokes her cheek from her seat beside Rachel.
"You're so cute," Jasmine says. "That must be Quinn calling."
Rachel blushes. "It is," she says, as she gets to her feet. "Excuse me."
"Hi, Quinn," Alec calls out, just as Rachel answers the phone.
Quinn is laughing softly when Rachel finally presses the phone to her ear. "Hi, Alec," she says, and Rachel marvels at the idea that Quinn even recognises his voice.
"Hey," Rachel says.
Quinn clears her throat. "Hey, you," she says. "So, what's this about Tom?"
"Oh, I'm fine, and how are you, Quinn?"
Quinn lets out an amused breath. "That's good to hear," she says. "Now, what's this about Tom?"
Rachel rolls her eyes. "He wants to talk to you about possibly writing something, apparently."
"Apparently?"
"That's what Denny says," Rachel tells her. "I'm not sure about the details, but I think he's serious about having you write something."
Quinn is silent for a long minute. "Are you serious?"
"I'm serious," Rachel assures her. "I was supposed to tell you before we were meant to meet them for dinner, but… I didn't."
"I don't understand," Quinn says. "He doesn't even know if I'm a good writer. Why would he want anything to do with me?"
"Quinn," Rachel says. "You're a brilliant writer."
"Even if that were true, which I'm not saying it is, he can't know that," Quinn points out. Then, after a moment, she asks, "Rach, just how much do you talk about me?"
Rachel doesn't immediately respond, and she glances over her shoulder at her gathered cast mates. "Uh, the normal amount."
"Rachel."
"What?" Rachel says. "I'm proud of you, so I talk about you. It would be weirder if I didn't, right? You're my girlfriend, and it's easy to gush about you."
There's another long silence.
"Are you mad?"
"No," Quinn says. "Just, I don't - " she stops, sighing. "Do they know I'm getting published?"
"No," Rachel lets her know. "That's your news to tell, even though I'm so insanely proud of you I can barely contain myself." She presses her lips together. "I think - I think Tom is interested in the story we told him."
"Oh?"
"Our kind of story."
"It's a great story," Quinn says.
"It is," Rachel agrees. "Will you talk to him if he calls?"
"Of course," Quinn says. "I'm not rude, Rach."
"But…?"
"I have a lot on my plate at the moment," she says, almost preemptively. "I'm not making any promises, but I'll definitely hear him out."
"That's all anyone can ask."
Quinn hums. Then: "When am I seeing you?"
Rachel can't stop her smile. "I can come over tonight," she says. "Or, you could come over, I guess. Santana's kind of been bitching about the fact she thinks I've been hogging you."
"She misses me, huh?"
"Don't tell her I told you that," she says. "I've just about managed to get to sleep without locking my door. She'll threaten to kill me in my sleep again."
Quinn laughs, and it's this gentle, unassuming sound that makes Rachel want to reach through the phone and touch her. "I can come by," she says. "Am I cooking? We can have thin-crust Thursday or, my personal favourite, thoup Thursday."
"God, you're adorable."
"So, what I'm hearing is that you don't want some thoup?"
"You're not helping yourself here, Fabray," Rachel says. "So, so cute."
"Fine," Quinn says. "San and I will have thoup, and you can starve."
"And, you just keep going."
Quinn sends her a smooch through the phone, and Rachel blushes at the sheer idea of Quinn's lips on her skin. "I'll see you later, Rach," she says, and then hangs up.
Rachel is smiling like a fool when she eventually drops her phone, and she just knows her friends are going to tease her mercilessly for it. She's not even embarrassed.
Okay, well, when Alec starts calling her Mrs Fabray, she might be a little embarrassed.
Santana is spread out on the living room floor when Rachel gets home. She has her textbooks and various flash cards surrounding her, and Rachel has yet to get over how cool her best friends look when they wear their glasses.
Santana needs hers for reading, and Quinn needs hers for everything else. Rachel gets too confused by that whole close and far sighted spiel, so that's how she chooses to remember it.
"I come bearing good news," Rachel says as she hangs up her coat.
Santana barely looks up. "What?"
"Quinn is coming over," she says brightly. "She's going to cook for us."
Santana reacts to that, lifting her gaze and perking up as much as Santana Lopez can. "What's she making?"
Rachel groans, because she sure as hell isn't going to say the word thoup. Quinn is sometimes insane. "Something," Rachel says. "Does it matter?"
"I just want to know if I'm going to get some fucking meat," she says. "Quinn caters way too much to your soulless veganism, and it really cramps on my style."
Rachel huffs. "You've got it wrong, San," she says. "I'm a vegan, so I'm the one with the soul here. Get it right."
Santana rolls her eyes. "You've really got to stop quoting your own lyrics, Berry. It's just fucking sad."
"It's going on my album, you know," Rachel tosses over her shoulder as she heads to her bedroom. "I'm going to make it famous, Lopez. Just you wait."
"I've been waiting," Santana calls out.
Rachel just continues on her way, slipping into her room with a smile on her face. Quinn is on her way over, and Rachel actually can't even wait. She thinks she's going to have to manufacture all sorts of reasons to see Quinn every day, because the way Rachel misses her can't be normal, can it?
She's never felt this way about anyone else before. Even before all of this fake relationship stuff, Rachel just missed Quinn. She missed her endlessly when Quinn was at Yale, and she was positively miserable whenever they were actively not talking to each other.
It's something Rachel has never really allowed herself to unpack and analyse in the years they've actually been friends, and she doesn't think now is the time. Quinn is on her way, and Rachel wants to be happy and present when she gets here.
Rachel decides to take a shower, just to wash off the rehearsals and costume makeup. She wants to be fresh when she cuddles with Quinn, which she doesn't even doubt she's going to end up doing.
She ends up spending much longer than she anticipates under the steady stream, using the time to settle her mind and ease the tension in her shoulders. When she eventually emerges, she's met with a wonderful, glorious smell wafting in through her bedroom's open door.
She almost heads straight to the kitchen still in her towel, but she controls herself. She wouldn't even know where to begin to explain herself.
With a sigh, she gets dressed into her pyjamas and ties up her hair into a messy bun. She's just slipping into one of Quinn's sweaters when there's a soft knock on her door.
"Come in," Rachel calls out, slipping her arms through the required holes. She's still facing her closet, so she actually squeaks when she feels strong arms slide around her waist, and she immediately knows whose body is pressed against hers.
"Hi," Quinn whispers, gently nuzzling Rachel's temple.
Rachel hums in content, absently leaning back into Quinn's embrace. "Hello, you," she murmurs. "Have you been here long?"
"About a half hour," she says. "What were you doing in there, huh? Practicing your acceptance speeches?"
Rachel lets out an unexpected laugh, her hands resting over Quinn's on her abdomen. "I resent that, Fabray."
Quinn just presses her lips to the shell of Rachel's ear. "Come on," she eventually says; "dinner's ready."
"What did you make?" Rachel asks.
"Thoup."
Rachel can feel the vibrations of Quinn's body as she laughs behind her, and the content she feels is overwhelming and overpowering.
When Quinn makes to release her, Rachel holds on tightly, keeping her firmly in place.
"Rach?" Quinn questions, sounding so adorably confused.
"Just - " she starts. "Can you just wait here a moment?"
"Here?"
"Right here," Rachel says; "Just like this."
Quinn breathes out slowly, her body relaxing as she adjusts her grip on Rachel. "Just like this," she echoes.
"I'm really glad you're here, Quinn."
"Me too, Berry," she says softly, and the truth of her words is clear to hear in her voice.
"Don't go anywhere, okay?" Rachel asks, sounding more vulnerable than she intends.
"I'm staying right here, Rachel," Quinn assures her. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."