Hello everyone! I am writing this intro amid the infernal fire and brimstone depths of Hell itself – how I describe New England summer weather.
Yeah, it is HOT out there. Hot everywhere, and this isn't even the worst of it. We have gotten a few days of rain, and that came with a flooding alert. I was on a Zelda website yesterday where someone asked everyone what the weather was like in their area, and the only hint I saw of a place with pleasant weather was someone claiming it was snowing in Johannesburg.
These days are good for staying inside, watching TV, with the air conditioner, although my electric bill is going to be through the roof because of it.
Anyway, I had at first intended this chapter to be the finale of Blue Bloods, but again, the story had a lot of detail so again, I decided to split it into two.
So… enjoy the first part and try to stay cool.
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Shadowchasers
Blue Blood
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Chapter Twelve
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Refusal
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"Stop me if you've heard this one."
Five minutes to midnight. The streets around the City Courthouse were naturally deserted; not many people actually lived in this part of town, and most businesses catered to folks who worked at the courts. The statue of Justice in front of the Courthouse was the landmark that stood out here, two lasting light enchantments at the statue's feet illuminating it like magical spotlights.
It proved a very convenient way for Hank to find Xokiek. The Suel lich (still "wearing" Elizabeth's stolen body) was perched on the book held in the statue's left arm, casually lying back with his hands under his head, not seeming to notice Hank at all. In fact, his comment seemed to be addressed to the statue.
"A lunatic walks into a butcher shop, he tells the butcher, 'I'd like to buy a bag of carrots. The butcher tells him, 'We don't sell carrots here, sir,' and the lunatic leaves. The next day, same lunatic, same lunatic, goes into the same butcher shop, and again asks to buy a bag of carrots. Now annoyed, the butcher again tells him they don't sell carrots, and tells him to leave. Day after that, same lunatic goes into the same butcher shop, and again, says 'I'd like to buy a bag of carrots'. The butcher tells him, 'For the third time, we don't sell carrots here, you come in here again and I'm gonna nail you to the wall!'
"Day after that, same lunatic again goes into the same butcher shop, and says, 'I'd like to buy a box of nails'. Butcher tells him, 'This is a butcher shop, you big idiot, we don't have any nails!' so the lunatic says, 'In that case, I'd like to buy a bag of carrots!'"
"Uhm, excuse me?"
"Oh, I know you're there, Mr. Richards." Xokiek stood up, then stretched his arms. "Wasn't talking to you."
The Suel lich stepped off its perch and slowly floated down to the ground with arms outstretched, likely having used a feather fall earlier. Hank stepped back and out of its way - this was one Shadow he would not take chances with.
"I am actually rather impressed by how stoic and calm Melissa is right now, truly having fiendish blood gives one nerves of steel. But take my word for it, Mr. Richards, everyone eventually cracks."
"Let her go," growled Hank.
"I believe we've gone over this before, I can't. That's how it works." Then it looked Hank directly in the eye and added, "But then, it seems you already know how someone like me 'works'."
Now Hank was the one trying hard to remain stoic and calm. "You-you were eavesdropping on us?"
"Maybe. Or maybe I'm just able to 'read the room', so to speak. I have had several millennia to learn such skills. I'll let you in on a little secret. You think a Suel lich consumes the souls of victims?"
"You don't?"
"Oh, we certainly do, but that doesn't mean the soul is destroyed. No, all of them are… blended into mine, along with all memories and knowledge. I'm kind of like Lieutenant Commander Dax." Taking note of Hank's expression, "Elizabeth" smirked and added, "That's right, I'm not like the rest of the isolated luddites in this town, Mr. Richards. I've kept enough contact with the rest of the world to learn a few things. Not all of it from first-hand experience.
"Getting back to what I was saying, knowing how to read body language is just one talent I've excelled at that keeps me aware of my surroundings, which in turn, is why I have survived so long. For instance… Oh Mr. Mills? Do step out where we can see you, I know you're there."
It stopped, looking to the side, exactly at the dark alleyway where Francis was hiding. A few seconds passed, but he didn't reply.
Xokiek shrugged. "No matter, I know he's there. Not that I care."
Unfortunately, the monster had a point there. Francis was ready to draw his weapon at a moment's notice but had no idea how he would use it if a fight actually started. Right now, their only real plan was hoping that Nichole's plan - whatever it was - would work.
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And speaking of which…
"OOF!" grunted Nichole.
Most portals had both an entrance and exit that were on floor level - this was not the case. Walking through the portal had caused her to fall ten feet to the floor and land on her behind.
"Who the hell put this -" she started.
"Uhm, Nichole…"
Maddie's voice caused her to look up and then scramble to her feet. She and her friends had fallen into a small cavern where the only real feature was a large set of portcullis bars. But on the other side of them…
"Huh, you dames are new here, I assume?"
The cheery greeting had come from a goblin dressed in an expensive looking black suit and tie, complete with black loafers and white gloves. He looked kind of ridiculous, actually. But, as funny as this well-dressed goblin was, the guards behind him were no laughing matter. Towering over him were two hill giants - not ogres or any of the typical Shadowkind thugs they were used to, these were hill giants, hulking, ugly brutes about fifteen feet tall. They wore leather jackets and trousers, but no shoes on their huge feet (a common trait of hill giants) and each had a morning star (a weapon that could be compared to a large, metal baseball bat with spikes on the business end), and expressions that left no doubt that they'd relish the opportunity to clobber the four Shadowchasers with them.
Nichole spoke up, nervously saying, "Uhm, listen, we fully intend to do, uhm, business here, so if you'd -"
The goblin looked at her closely. "I dunno," he said, "I gotta warn you, the folks here don't like humans much, especially ones from the mainland."
"AHEM!" Red Feather rudely shoved Nichole aside, knocking her over, striding up to the goblin. "Don't worry yourself sir," she said, her voice taking a haughty and arrogant tone. "We are here with profitable business in mind."
Red lifted her hand, giving the goblin a close look at a signet ring she was wearing. (Well, truthfully, one she had just put on.) "Bandit Princess Jacqueline Reidner, of the Knives of Gadhelyn, here on behalf of my father."
"Red, what are -" started Sonya, but was cut off when Red actually elbowed her in the ribs.
"And if my servants don't quiet down, I may be interested in selling them as well."
"Uhm, yes," said Sonya, quickly, "forgive me, mistress."
The goblin looked at Red, looking her up and down. Much like Sonya, Maddie and Nichole caught on, and were relieved when the goblin's dour expression turned into a smile.
"Why, soitenly!" he replied. "Far be it from me to keep customers out! Anyone is welcome to come into Mulgo's Pocket."
"Well then, if you would just -"
"However…" The goblin's tone turned sterner and sullener. "If ya ever wanna leave here, yer highness, we got some rules here that you gotta follow, no exceptions."
He pointed, indicating four notices taped to the wall, a simple message written in English, Dwarvish, Elven, and Orcish: "No stealing, no fighting, no panhandling. Period. OR ELSE."
"Got all that?"
"Hey, pretty straightforward," said Sonya.
"All right." He turned his head and whistled. The gate started to lift with a loud, grating rumble. "Welcome to Mungo's Pocket."
The four Shadowchasers walked under the gate, into what they now knew was the black market of Cauldron.
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The "fair fight clause" in the Great Treaty had always been controversial for a number of reasons, but there were plenty of conditions that might render it void. Certainly, an insane criminal holding a civilian hostage making unreasonable or impossible demands was a valid excuse to skip the pleasantries, possibly with lethal force. But in this case, the insane criminal was a spirit who was holding its victim hostage via demonic possession. This was a very delicate and dangerous situation and the Shadowchasers knew it. It was obvious Xokiek knew it too.
Francis quickly assessed the situation in his head. As powerful a wizard as he is, Elizabeth's physical body is still pretty frail. Subduing him would be an easy matter, but doing so without killing her is a very different story.
For the last minute, Xokiek hadn't said anything, as if expecting something to happen. Finally, he shook his head and sighed. At least, it sounded like a sigh. "Well, at least you came, so as I promised, one way or another, Elizabeth will be released once we are done."
"You sound disappointed."
"To be perfectly honest, I was expecting Ms. Belvins. She seems like the type far more willing to charge into battle in order to save someone she had just met."
The sarcasm there was obvious, and Hank wasn't amused. "That doesn't mean she's careless," he said.
"Careless, Mr. Richards? You and your friend obviously know I never intended to let you live but you came anyway. Tell me, why did you decide to come?"
"It's my job. Are you going to talk all night or are you going to duel me?"
Xokiek nodded, turning so his left shoulder faced Hank, lifting his arm, and a Duel Disk appeared on it - a rather old model with dark gray casing and black trim.
"Your job? Meh, you're far from the first lawman who came after me before figuring out what they were up against. Most of the time, their opinions change once they do find out, one of them got as far as Turkey before anyone even knew he was gone."
"Just duel already."
(Hank: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (Xokiek: 8,000)
"My pleasure, Mr. Richards, I draw one card…" He drew, then used two, setting one in his Monster Zone, and two behind it in his Spell Zone. "Thus, I will set one here, and two there, and that concludes my turn."
"Elizabeth, hang tight," he shouted, "we can deal with this guy!" He chose one of his cards, summoning it in Attack Mode. "Fossil Tusker!"
In front of him, the ground rumbled and cracked, causing an odd skeletal beast to emerge. It seemed like a fossil of a mastodon, but the limbs were missing, it was just a large, sloping skull with upward-pointing tusks on a large ribcage, with strange, wispy tendrils underneath. (1,800 ATK)
It didn't waste any time, the fossil skidding forward towards the set monster, and literally running it over and crushing it. Hank briefly saw what looked like an odd, red dog on the card right before the attack struck.
"And thanks to Fossil Tusker's effect, you lose 400 Life Points."
(H: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (X: 7,600)
"A small price to pay to use my monster's effect. That was a Doomdog Octhros, and its destruction lets me take a Level 8 Fiend from my deck." A small mote of fire appeared in his hand and turned into a card. "Legendary Maju Garzett will be useful later. Is that all?"
Hank nodded. It seemed clear he was using Fiends, but there were far better Level 8s of that Type than Legendary Maju Garzett. He watched closely as his foe drew again, and then again, set a monster, then again nodded to end his turn.
"Kind of expected this to be a little less… dull." Hank made a draw, then played a new monster card. "I summon Shell Knight!"
This was an odd monster to say the least. It looked like very large seashells had been glued together to create a model of a makeshift lobster-man combination, with bivalve shells roughly forming an outline of a torso and limbs with pincers for hands, and a spiral mollusk shell used like a helmet. Yet, the whole body seemed to be made of stone. (0 ATK)
"An Earth-Attribute Rock-Type," said Xokiek, with a bemused look, "made of seashells. Quite an odd mix."
"As much as I'd enjoy giving a lecture on biomineralization," said Hank, "now is not the time. So, I'll use Shell Knight's effect to switch it to defense Mode." The statue knelt, crossing its arms over its chest. (2,000 DEF) "And by doing so, it inflicts 500 points of damage."
Shell Knight's helmet lifted briefly, its eyes focusing on Xokiek, and then razor-sharp shells from its shoulders launched at Xokiek, though the Suel Lich barely seemed to care.
"And again, here comes Fossil Tusker!"
Like before, the mammoth fossil skidded towards the set card - right before it was crushed, it showed itself, a gargoyle-like demon with horns, wings, and long, lolling tongue.
"And again, you lose 400 Life Points."
(H: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (X: 6,700)
"True, but because Mad Reloader was destroyed, I got to discard two cards -" Xokiek chose two cards from his hand, and slipped them into his Disk's discard slot, "- and then I draw two replacements."
"I'll set two facedown cards," continued Hank, placing two in his Spell Zone, "and then you go."
"I draw once… And then, I activate the Continuous Spell Card, Guarded Treasure."
NO WAY, thought Francis, doing his best not to shout it out loud.
Hank had the same reaction. "Where on earth did you find that?" he shouted. "You can't just go into a card store and pull that one out of a pack!"
"There are ways to obtain anything, Mr. Richards. I assume that, because you've heard of this card, you know how it requires me to discard five cards from my hand, which at this point means all of them, however -" As he discarded his hand, one of his Trap Cards lifted, a card showing the Solemn Judgment deity holding a golden set of scales. "By chaining Balance of Judgment to my act of doing so, I subtract the number of cards I have on the field and in my hand from the number you have, and then draw a number equal to the difference. Then, I draw two from the effect of Guarded Treasure."
"That's… SIX draws?" shouted Hank. "That was… that was actually a pretty clever combo."
"Indeed, Mr. Richards, as now I have six cards to use." He grabbed three cards from his hand. "And use them I shall, using Polymerization to fuse Zombyra the Dark and Versago the Destroyer."
Two monsters appeared in the air over him, one of them a dark-looking superhero in a flowing cape and a skull-like mask, the other a Fiend wrapped in green strips, a blue mask over its face, and extraordinary long, purple, wing-like streamers with claws on the ends, menacingly reaching forward.
The two monsters were drawn into the fusion portal; as Hank watched, sweat started to form on his forehead. He could see where this was going…
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"I hate this place. Last time I came here I couldn't leave for four weeks."
In the courthouse lobby, four members of the Last Laugh thieves guild were lurking, watching the duel begin. The lights in the lobby were all out – seeing as all of them could see better in the dark than humans could, they were well concealed from the outside with little inconvenience to them.
One was Jil, a high-ranking member that Francis was all too familiar with, while another was Helensla, the grim Shadar-Kai assassin who seemed to be the guild's leader.
The one who had spoken - Ulmo - was a tall, muscular humanoid with green skin, a large nose, larger mouth, and long, thick hair. He was a thoul, a very rare type of Shadowkind who had supposedly descended from hybrids of hobgoblin, troll, and ghoul - exactly how an undead creature could ever crossbreed with two living ones was a mystery that nobody, least of all thouls themselves could figure out.
"Well next time it might not be a good idea to give the finger to the judge at a bail hearing," said Jil, who wasn't exactly happy to be here herself.
"Quiet down," ordered Helensla. "Kraip, you see any of them yet?"
The question was directed to the fourth member in the room, a short mouse-like Shadow whose jester's costume incorporated a hood, cape, and scarf over the lower half of his face, who was looking out a window and scanning the promenade with binoculars.
"Only see the one with the tattoos," replied Kraip.
Jil perked up a little. "Francis?" she exclaimed.
"Jil, focus!" snapped Helensla in a scolding tone. Turning back to Kraip, she added, "Stay alert, those mainlanders always seem to show up at the worst times."
"So, what exactly are we supposed to do here?"
For now, we waited for the duel to finish. If the mainlander wins, there is a good chance his allies are going to try to restrain him. If he loses, there's an even bigger chance they're going to do that. If they don't, well, we don't have to do anything else. If they do, then it is in our best interest to make sure they succeed.
"Right, right," said Ulmo, "so if they try to grab Hank, we run out and help them…"
"Correct."
"Uh…" Ulmo scratched his head. "One question, why would they do that?"
Helensla made an annoyed grunt. She was about to answer, but Kraip said, "Because that's what Rivaldi said would happen."
"Thank you," said Helensla. "If any of you have a problem, you can bring it up with her. So shut it!"
That was usually a good enough reason, and Ulmo decided to take her suggestion to heart. Although, after a minute or so, Jil whispered to him, "I don't think she knows why either."
"I heard that."
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From out of the ether, a large, muscular humanoid lumbered onto the field, hunched over and propping itself up with one of its oversized arms. It had dull bronze-colored fur all over its body, and two small, beady eyes. It seems to have many mechanical devices fused to its body like implants, including a breathing apparatus a fix to the lower part of its face, covering its mouth, metal, clawed gloves connected by wires to armored shoulder pads, and a large energy cannon on the left shoulder. (2,350 ATK)
"The Last Warrior from Another Planet," said Hank, ominously. "Never thought I'd see that again."
"Indeed, there is a legend behind this monster," said Xokiek. "They say he sought the secret to immortality and found it, becoming so drunk with power that he murdered every other member of his civilization. The experience drove him mad, and he wandered the galaxy hunting and killing everything that moved."
"Really?" asked Hank. "Not the story I heard. What I heard was, he was a biologically enhanced super-soldier tasked with guarding his people but was so good at his job he did so until long after the civilization fell and they went extinct. And I heard someone else say he was a genetically engineered clone created by a mad scientist to be a carrier of a deadly biological weapon, but it worked far too well, wiping out everyone on their planet including the scientist. Since then, the Last Warrior wanders the universe searching for a reason to exist. Or maybe…"
Then he was cut off, and he and Francis cowered as a beam of destructive energy from Last Warrior blew Fossil Tusker to small chunks.
(H: 7,450) - - - - - - - - - - (X: 6,700)
"You humans have such a frivolous attitude," said Xokiek, "I sometimes wonder how you even managed to bring yourselves out of the Dark Ages."
"Maybe because some of us learned not to take life so seriously, unlike the arrogant rulers who caused it."
"Interesting assumption," replied the Suel Lich, "but moving back to the here and now, Last Warrior's effect prevents any monster from being summoned. So then, my turn is over. Now what will you do?"
Hank drew, then simply said. "Nothing, I'll end my turn there."
"Not as confident now, are you, Mr. Richards?" He placed a card on his Monster Zone, setting a monster. "Attack with De-Fission Blasters!"
Hank shielded himself as the Warrior again opened fire and Shell Knight was dealt the same fate as Fossil Tusker. Maybe goading him was a bad idea, he thought.
"Shell Knight has another effect! When it get totaled, I get to take a high-level Rock monster from my deck."
He quickly got what he needed – Gaia Plate the Earth Giant was one of his strongest cards, so long as he got a chance to use it. He looked towards Xokiek's facedown card. He had dueled with someone who used this Fusion before. More than likely, it was Light of Intervention, a card that would, if activated, make this a very short duel.
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"So, uh," whispered Maddie, "is there a real Bandit Princess Jacqueline Reidner?"
"I arrested her," replied Red Feather. "She will be eligible for parole in five years, which is ten years before her father will."
"Smooth," said Sonya. "So, what -" Then she looked up at what was in front of them. "Whoa, looks like we went through the looking glass."
The place in front of them was like an open-air bazaar, though it was in a huge subterranean cavern, the shops and vendors selling overpriced merchandise of the type that was difficult - or impossible - to gain through legitimate channels. One vendor was leading a grey render on a chain leash, his wares – potions, scrolls, skulls and odd jewelry – displayed on a harness worn by the render. Another merchant sold mechanical toys, odd, creepy looking puppets, and sinister-looking masks. One stand sold explosives, including fireworks, and exploding cigars; those were seemingly a hot seller for the merchant, a sign next to it saying, "You will get a bang out of this!"
Many of the wares were, to say the least, bizarre. One stand was devoted to wine, with names like Gorgon Claire, Merrycherry Brandy, Bitterthorn Dry, and Demon Piss. (The last one's label was handwritten on a post-it note that had been taped on). One stand sold one item - an apple. It seemed like an ordinary apple, but the four Shadowchasers sensed an ominous feeling from the greenhag running the stand and moved past it quickly. Another sold antique coins - a brief glance confirmed that all were currencies of large denominations, legal tender of nations that no longer existed. ("On sale today only!" said a sign on the stand.) Another vendor sold books; the titles included The Canted Buried Tales (the author was named Chauzer the Wandering Minstrel), The Ballad of the Laughing Man, and Mnemotical Magic. The same vendor had a magazine rack, where several kobolds were browsing. Those titles included Girls Gone Feywild, Fifty Layers of Shadow, and Diabolic Drow Damsels - again, the Shadowchasers moved past that stand quickly. There was a stand where an ophidia lady was buying fruit - Red Feather was distracted by the incredibly rare items available there, including jujube, passion fruit, prickly pears, and Indonesian dragon fruit, but quickly remembered they had a job to do. There were also a few members of the Last Laugh, but none whom the Shadowchasers were familiar with, and they did their best to avoid them.
Eventually, they passed by a messy desk surrounded by equally messy shelves full of scrolls and old books, with additional books stacked on the floor, where they heard a cheery (and to Nichole, familiar) voice: "Hey, cutie! Figured you'd make it here!"
Kandy leapt up from her chair behind the desk, landing on the desktop itself, knocking a pile of books over without any noticeable concern. She had switched her barmaid outfit for a cute secretary ensemble with her hair now tied in a ponytail.
"Uh, hi," said Nichole nervously. "So… I'm guessing the waitress job was some sort of ruse?"
"Nah, part time," said Kandy. "Just a side gig. Workin' here as a scribe is what pays the bills, but I still gotta pay back the student loans."
None of them could argue there.
"So, what can I do you for? Need scrolls copied? Translated? Signatures forged?"
"Uh, forged?" asked Red Feather.
"That's right! Gimme someone's signature and one or two hours and I can dupe it so that his own mother won't be able to tell the difference. And no worries about confidentiality here, Kandy Kaine is very discreet."
"Uh, actually, no, nothing like that. We need information, see…"
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"My move…" said Hank.
He stopped, took a Monster Card from his hand, and paused, looking towards the Trap Card, watching to see if Xokiek did anything.
"WELL?" snapped the Suel lich.
Quickly, Hank set the card on his Disk. Nothing. Seems he assumed wrong. He added one more facedown card to his Spell Zone, and then nodded. "Go on," he said.
"I draw," said Xokiek, "and then, I Flip Summon my set monster, Dark Mimic Lv1."
Flipping the card caused a monster to appear that was almost cute, a small treasure chest with eyes, and its lid a toothy, gaping mouth. (100 ATK) "Via its effect, I get to draw once."
"Not the best idea there."
"That remains to be seen, Mr. Richards. For now, I will set one card facedown, and then activate this facedown card, the Trap Card, Multiple Destruction. We both send every card in our hands to the bottom of our decks, and then make five draws."
What in the world is he up to? thought Francis. Usually in a deck like this you stop with the search cards after you find what you're looking for.
"I take 900 points of damage, but it seems I just got what I needed. Indeed, Last Warrior prohibits me from summoning too, and it is chancy to move a monster so weak into Attack Mode… Unless…"
He flipped a card in his hand around. "Forbidden Chalice," said Hank. "Figures."
He played the card, and a large, golden goblet appeared in midair in front of Last Warrior, who seemed enspelled by the sight of it. He cautiously reached forward to take it… And then greedily put it to his lips, swallowing the liquid it contained in large gulps. (2,750 ATK)
"Yes, not only does this Spell grant my Warrior 400 Attack Points, its Effect is nullified for the rest of the turn." Dark Mimic dissolved into shadowy wisps. "Therefore, I can sacrifice Dark Mimic to summon… the Crazed Prophet!"
Suddenly, it seemed the assumptions both Hank and Francis had regarding Xokiek's deck had been… rather off…
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"Twilight Bloom, eh?" said Kandy with a chuckle. "Pretty potent stuff. Gotta see Gunny about that." She pointed down towards the other end of the market. "Just go all the way down there, you can't miss him."
"You all go ahead," said Red Feather, "I will catch up. I have something to do here."
As her three companions left, Kandy actually seemed giddy, doing a backflip off the desk and landing back on her swivel chair, spinning it around once before stopping and donning a pair of glasses.
"So, what can I do for the elven mob princess? Need me to put someone's signature on a will or a property deed? Birth certificate, marriage license? Writ of safe passage? Prison pardon? Might be able to get your dad out of jail…" Kandy's tone and girlish giggle seemed to imply she hadn't fallen for Red's facade but seemed impressed by it.
"Uh, no, nothing like that. You said you could translate a text?"
"Sure! You have a scroll written in Ancient Draconic, gimme enough time and enough paper and pens and you'll be able to read it in English… or Elvish, or any-ish! Heh, that is a goblin-scribe joke there. Within reason, mind you, I mean, don't give me anything Aklo, Necril, or Qualith, I got some scruples here."
That sounded promising, so Red opened her satchel, quickly finding the leatherbound journal, written in drow language, that Maddie had found in that destroyed laboratory in the Ebon Triad's lair. "This seems to be written in drow language, but everyone I have brought this to is either unable or unwilling to translate it."
"Eh, bunch'a scaredy cat snobs, lemme take a look."
After flipping through the pages for a minute or two, she said, "Eh, not a problem, but I'm gonna need three days to do it, price is going to be 400 Sovereigns plus any unforeseen expenses that come up, and I'm gonna need half of that up front."
That sounded fair, and Red at least had enough for such an advance fee. She really hoped this journal had important information and wasn't something frivolous.
"Oh, uh, unless you're paying with cash," said Kandy, "I'll need two forms of ID, and I don't accept checks - and yes, I'm aware of the irony there."
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Neither of the Shadowchasers had ever even heard of a Spellcaster called Insane Prophet, and just looking at it gave them the chills.
He seemed to be a tall, elderly man, given his long, ragged beard, but it was clear what had driven this particular prophet insane - he had been tortured. His head and left arm were bound to a cangue, his right arm (which he seemed to have freed from the cangue) and both legs had broken shackles and had a blindfold over his eyes (assuming he still had eyes). His only clothing was a hood over his head and a pair of ragged trousers, and while his torso was muscular and toned, it also had clear scars from being whipped with a scourge. (2,000 ATK)
"Who thinks up these cards?" gasped Hank.
"A better question might be why the designers think up these cards. But enough chit-chat, Last Warrior, attack the set monster!"
The Last Warrior aimed its weapon, a set of red crosshairs appearing on the card… Hank grit his teeth, sweating as the weapon fired… another fossil appeared on the card, an armored dinosaur skeleton, standing upright and hunched over, with a thick, plated skull.
Hank's expression changed to a snarky smile. "Gotcha…" he said. "You just activated Fossil Dyna Pachycephalo's effect! When flipped face up, all Special Summoned monsters are destroyed, and that includes Fusion Monsters!"
The Rock monster let out a loud, guttural bellow, and shards of sharp bone tore out of the ground, darting forward the Last Warrior like knives and piercing its chest and limbs. The mutant's eyes opened wide, it stumbled, and then collapsed, bursting into a flaming heap that quickly dissipated into a cloud of ash. Fossil Dyna Pachycephalo also shattered, with far less fanfare.
Xokiek looked dumbfounded at Hank for a minute, then chuckled softly. "Seems you have more potential than I assumed, Mr. Richards." He turned to the Insane Prophet. "Fortunately, this one was Normal Summoned. Attack directly! Blasphemous Ruin!"
What happened next was something that would haunt Hank's nightmares for months afterwards. The monster screamed. It was a wail of rage and anguish, and while Hank could not understand whatever language the Spellcaster was screaming in, the words were obviously obscenities.
(H: 5,450) - - - - - - - - - - (X: 5,800)
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It was indeed very easy to find Gunny's shop. It was in a smaller, side cave near the back of the main one, a sign above the door indicating it as Gunny's Gumption. The door was barely five feet tall, no problem for a goblin, but Nichole had to duck slightly to enter.
Inside the side cavern was a darker, more sinister version of the apothecary shop. It was surprisingly organized for a place run by goblins; bulk loose items - like fungus, seeds, blossoms, leaves, and roots - were in bins, grouped by name. Less common items, like teeth, eyeballs, and odd colored sand were in jars. Rarer and more expensive items were in display cases. There was a large (too large to be human) heart preserved in formaldehyde, and a toe that looked like it once belonged to a giant with a bad foot fungal problem; probably for the best that those hill giant sentries couldn't possibly get through that door.
Some shelves also held bottles and jars liquids of various colors and viciousness. Sonya looked through some of them - quite a lot of low priced troll blood, naturally, that was a common ingredient for healing potions. She noticed a vial full of black stuff that had the label "Nanka" on it. She picked it up, and the black liquid within started to oddly swirl with multiple colors… Until two evil-looking eyes peered out from it. She dropped it in shock - well, almost, she scrambled to catch it before it hit the floor, and after doing so, quickly placed it back on the shelf. She assumed the owner of this place had a "you break it you buy it" policy and she did not want to own whatever was in that bottle!
Mostly out of curiosity, Maddie was going over some of the alchemical ingredients in the jars. The names ranged from normal-sounding (like Glacial Water) to unusual (Seasoned Spider Cider and Ancient Ectoplasm) to bizarre (Hairy Herring Heads?) to just plain gross (Putrid Pirate Perspiration and Fermented Snail Snot?).
She took a minute to examine a large eight ounce jar of petruskian glue was being sold for 50 Sovereigns per jar, while the same size jar of salve of slipperiness (a substance needed for anyone who wanted to use petruskian glue without the lid sticking to the jar) for 150 Sovereigns.
No surprise there, she thought.
Then, her eyes turned to a perfume bottle, one where the label had a cameo sketch of a smiling woman with horns on her forehead, the products name being, "Evil #7". Maddie looked at it closely, feeling odd curiosity, and then started to reach for it…
"Ladies!" said another cheery voice.
They assumed this was Gunny, and as far as goblins went, he actually seemed handsome and hunky. He was somewhat muscular and just over five feet tall (very tall for his people) and wearing a stylish jacket (without a shirt underneath) and jeans.
"So, new here, huh?" He casually lit a cigarette as he greet them. "Just so happens I'm holdin' a sale today for friends, family, and foxy first-time customers! So, what can I interest ya in? I got new aphrodisiac elixirs in stock!"
The product he was holding certainly looked like it fit the bill, looking like a pink whiskey flask shaped like a valentine's heart. "Guaranteed to sway even the most stubborn object of your affection!"
"Uhm, that is tempting," said Nichole, "but we're actually interested in twilight bloom."
Gunny made an expression that seemed like belated fear, as if Nichole's inquiry was something he had not wanted to hear but not unexpected either. The shock made him inhale the cigarette too deeply and he started to cough and hack violently.
But he quickly regained his composure. "Ugh, sorry bout that. Heh, so, you dames are bounty hunters, eh? Well, I ain't judgin' here, but if you gals need that sort'a thing, I'd have to put an order for it, but I have some duergar steeder venom that can -"
"No, no, we need information." Nichole held up a wad of bills. "Another goblin, a wizard, with blue skin and hair. I assume you have a caveat emptor policy on confidentiality?"
Gunny dropped the act and took a serious tone. "Depends, dollface, this, uhm, hypothetical customer you want info on… Is he in any sort of trouble?"Nichole nodded, and Gunny nodded back. "In that case, my price for divulging such information will be free with purchase of 50 Sovereigns or more."
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"You know, Mr. Richards, I believe I am seeing it now."
"Uh, what?" Of course, that last brutal direct attack had quite knocked the wind out of him, and to be honest, he was okay with Xokiek putting the duel on "pause" for a few minutes.
"I'm starting to see why you came, why you were such an eager volunteer for this duel."
Xokiek waved its hand, channeling some sort of magic. Hank snapped back to awareness, wondering what dark spell it was about to cast… Then night turned into day, with the desert sun shining down upon him. Cauldron had been covered with an illusory backdrop of an ancient desert city.
"You are a scholar, Mr. Richards, an archaeologist, you seek knowledge of the past. Someone like me… I am the past. Might your motive be one of inquiry or investigation?"
As much as Hank would hate to admit it, the lich was right. There were dozens of questions on historical topics he would have loved to ask, though he had assumed it very unlikely Xokiek was in the mood for such a discussion.
Still, the illusory backdrop he had conjured up was beautiful, if ominous. The architecture had qualities of both Mayan and Aztec (clearly a comparison only someone like him could make) plus many Shadowkind styles woven into it. They were surrounded by what looked like an open-air marketplace, at the time of day when such a place was busiest. There were many civilians around them; while their clothing seemed to suggest the same cultures as the architecture, the people themselves did not. They looked human, with dark, dusky skin. The females wore their hair in long braids, and most of the males were bald. Most of them, of both genders had tattoos. Hank could also see some beasts of burden, many of them Shadowkind that he didn't recognize.
But as odd as this ancient marketplace was, the true wonder of the setting was the lavish palace in the distance behind Xokiek, rising above an elevated part of the city above a lush garden. There seemed to be additional gardens on huge buttresses and balconies, and two waterfalls cascaded from the sides of the structure,
"Well, Mr. Richards, let me address the elephant in the room right now."
The Suel lich lifted its hand, and then… Hell came upon the city. Clouds started to cover the ancient city, turning dark, and then rumbling and churning as if to indicate an ensuing storm. But this was not a storm…
The clouds turned blood red, demonic screams echoed through the sky, and flames started to fall from the clouds. Not normal flames, this fire was black, like flaming ash.
A very different type of screaming filled the city as a panic started, the plummeting balls of fire crashing down in a horrible conflagration. The gardens were reduced to ash almost instantly, small buildings were incinerated, and the larger buildings only survived a minute or so longer. Even the fine palace turned into a raging inferno. But worst of all were the screams of agony from the unfortunate townsfolk as they were literally set on fire from the assault…
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While Nichole was gathering items from the shelves, Sonya examined the "aphrodisiac" Gunny had shown them, which was, in fact, a love potion. "Dr. Barb's Erotic Elixir". The label on the back read, "Guaranteed to make the recipient fall head over heels (or heels over head, if you prefer) in love with whoever they receive it from, lasts one week. Warning: Has been known to make some recipients jealous, obsessive, and violent towards any other potential suitors, and in such situations, may extend duration as much as two months."
So, this is the stuff Stalla spiked the punch with, she thought. Going to have to have a word with her when I get back to the States. She rolled her eyes and put it back on the shelf.
And as per the original reason they came here, Maddie was at the counter with the cash register, listening closely to what Gunny knew about the Suel lich's previous host, which was a lot more than they expected.
"See, eight years ago, I knew this bugbear named Dave. Worked as a gofer. You know, I tell him to go for sandwiches, he goes for sandwiches, I tell him to run to the bank, he does that. Simple stuff, never had a problem. Then there was this really old guy living in Cauldron; he never came down here, cause he was really old, too old to walk. He sent orders here and I sent Dave back with them.
"One day, the old guy's check bounces, so I tell Dave to go have a word with him. When Dave comes back… He ain't Dave no more. Looks like Dave, but didn't talk like Dave, didn't act like Dave… He wasn't Dave."
"But that was just the start. Two days later, he quits, and I hear he's got a new place up in Cauldron that even I can't afford. Then he starts sending orders here! Same orders the old guy did. Even manages to hotwire into the portal door that leads to this place and make his own entrance to Mulgo's Pocket. Fairly sure the Duke wouldn't like that."
"The Duke…" asked Maddie. "The Blue Duke?"
"Yeah, I mean the guy gets mad enough when someone stiffs him for entrance fee even once, don't think he'd like it if someone made his own door. Not sure why anyone would even want to do that, I wouldn't want a lot of the folks who come to Mulgo's Pocket to use the exit to get to my living room."
This was bad luck, to be certain. Gunny seemed to know more about the Blue Duke than anyone else they had spoken to, and they had so many questions about this elusive figure who seemed to be a big figure in Cauldron's underworld. Unfortunately, seeing as they had also "stiffed" him by sneaking into Mulgo's Pocket, they felt it unwise to inquire right now, and continued to listen.
"Well, I ain't dumb. I asked around and found out that the old guy died of a heart attack the day I told Dave to have a word with him. The day Dave started to act like he wasn't Dave. I figured the old guy was a wizard or something, and he was sort of… wearing Dave… Like Dave was… What's the word? Starts with a P…"
"Possessed?" asked Maddie.
"Yeah, that's it."
"And you still kept filling these orders?'
"Hey, look lady, my dad always told me, 'Son, you never mess with guys who are screwier than you are.' But then it got even screwier. I heard Dave - I mean, the Dave who wasn't Dave - got into a fight with some other goblin at a bar who'd had too much to drink, a goblin with blue skin. Got his ass handed to him and that was the last I heard of Dave, or the Dave who wasn't Dave. But then the blue goblin, he started to come here askin' for stuff.
"After that, I kinda got used to it… I mean, I've seen stranger stuff happen in this city. Not much stranger, mind you. But then ten days ago he comes here askin' for twilight bloom. So I tell him I'd need three weeks to get it. He says he needs it in one week and says he'll pay triple the usual amount for a rush job. So, like the greedy idiot I am, I practically get on my knees and beg the Duke to cut corners, he eventually agrees, I manage to get the goods… And the bastard actually stiffs me! Pays with a bad check, would you believe it?"
"Right, like the old guy did."
"Yeah, heh, it is kind'a funny when you think about it."
"Maybe you should stop accepting checks at all."
"Ain't that easy, dollface." Gunny stopped to light another cigarette. "Yeah, folks who shop here ain't all that honest, but neither are the folks they buy from. Say someone comes in here wanting to buy that -" He motioned over to the giant toe. "- he ain't gonna have 800 Sovereigns in cash. Nobody brings that much to this place.
"Anyway… Haven't seen the guy since, and from what I've heard, I'm not the only guy here who he ripped off. He'd have to be an idiot to come here again."
Maddie's face fell. Everything he said was pretty interesting, yes, but none of it was useful and most was stuff they already knew. It seemed this whole trip was a wasted effort…
…and then, Nichole pushed a basket up on the counter, which was loaded with merchandise. "Ring me up," she said. "Oh, and how much for this mason jar?"
As Nichole had hoped, the store had everything she had needed, all the rare fungus, including the voidroot, plus the Hyancinth Nectar. Gunny's shop even sold moly-weed, which would make the concoction even more potent than silvermint would.
Maybe this wouldn't be a wasted trip after all.
"Oh, and I'll take this too." Nichole pushed an oddly-shaped set of leather straps on the counter - a book strap. The same concept as a fanny pack or satchel, designed to keep a book close at hand and portable. Simply place the book in the cross-fastened straps, adjust the straps to fit, and then fasten the other end to your belt (or girdle, for some). While most modern folks would use a backpack, this was used in ages past by priests, monks, or missionaries who needed to keep a Bible (or the equivalent) handy. or wizards who needed to keep a spellbook close at hand.
"Damn!" exclaimed Gunny. "Anyone else you dames need me to rat on?"
"Just total it all fast, we need to use this stuff tonight."
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It had all occurred in less than a minute, and absolutely nothing had been spared. Even the rivers had been vaporized by the onslaught. The screaming had stopped, but only because there was nobody left to scream. The bustling city had been destroyed completely - Hank was now surrounded by a desert of… ash.
Xokiek waved its arm, and the illusion disappeared, but it would lurk in Hank's nightmares for months afterwards. Of course, it was obvious to him just what he had seen.
"That was only a phantasm, an illusory reenactment," said the lich. "Had you seen the actual event and survived - which you wouldn't - you'd have gone insane from the experience."
"The Rain of Colorless Fire…"
"Mmm, yes, given what was recounted by the mad ramblings of the handful of survivors, that is what they called it. Let me put your mind at rest, Mr. Richards, no, it was not my doing. I only have unconfirmed suspicions as to who was responsible, and why it was done, and I have a vague idea of how the ritual was done. All of which is information I cannot share."
"As in, you can't, or you won't?" asked Hank.
"You are quite quick to judge, Mr. Richards. You see before you a Suel lich, an undead fiend willing to steal a mortal's body and use her very soul to fuel forbidden magic… You a cruel and immoral abomination. Well, you wouldn't be wrong. But know this, the Rain of Colorless Fire is something that cannot, should not, must not be used again. Even if I were certain you knew a way to use it for noble purposes, even if I made you promise never to reveal this conversation to anyone else, even if I bestowed the most potent geas upon you as a dissuasion, the danger that someone could extract that information from your mind is too great."
"And your reason for having such standards?"
"You forget, Mr. Richards, I saw the atrocities committed by the rulers of the Suel Empire firsthand. Had they not perished in the cataclysm of their own making, they would not have stopped, they would have left behind nothing. No life, no culture, no legacy… only ash and the stench of death would have remained. Soulless and remorseless as I may be, even I mourn their victims.
"I set one card facedown. It is your move."
The sudden change of tone took Hank by surprise for a few moments - he had almost forgotten this was a duel! Still, Xokiek announcing the end of his turn did snap him out of the haze the nightmarish illusion had caused, and he quickly switched back to reality.
Xokiek was a tricky bastard, that was for sure - while Hank had no reason to believe anything he had heard here was an outright lie, it seemed the idea was to convince Hank that what he was doing was justified. He'd been in this business long enough to know that was what people like this do.
Well… thought Hank. He snatched the top card off his deck. This is what I do.
"I summon Moai Idol of Bronze!"
Using the card caused a moai - a monolith about ten feet tall and five wide, in the rough outline of a man's torso and head, with the head slightly larger than the torso. Clearly, this was a representation of the Moai of Rapa Nui (or Easter Island), the only difference was, as its name implied, it was bronze, rather than stone, or at least had a bronze coating. (200 ATK)
"And by summoning it, because I have only Rock Type monsters in my Graveyard, I can now bring out a Rock from my Graveyard with 1,000 Attack Points or less. Like the Greed Jar."
Playing the card caused a loud and annoying cackle, a jar-monster materializing next to the Moai. It seemed the same basic design as a Morphing Jar, a large pot with a grinning, one-eyed creature inside. This version, however, was a pot made of gold, decorated with a ring of rubies on the top part, sapphires on the bottom half, and four emeralds placed evenly around the circumference between the two rings. The creature inside had the Pot of Greed´s face with one eye. (700 ATK)
¨And then I build the Overlay Network to use them both!" The two monsters glowed with raw power as a fissure above them opened, then shattered into particles that were drawn into the fissure. ¨To Xyz Summon the Giant Soldier of Steel!"
The new monster´s arrival was unsubtle. Crashing down through the fissure and landing with an impact that shook the street was a huge statue of metal, heavily armored, with two swords on its back. It looked like the Giant Soldier of Stone used by the King of Games, but larger, suggesting nothing less than an embodiment of immovable Strength. (2,000 DEF)
"Moai Idol of Bronze has another effect, when I use it in an Xyz Summon. I can pay 1,000 Life Points for every Overlay Unit the monster has, and then draw one card for each."
(H: 3,450) - - - - - - - - - - (X: 5,800)
"You are indeed a prolific treasure hunter, Mr. Richards, though I wonder, are you truly adhering to the spirit of your profession?"
Hank grunted a little, the heavy Life Point payment here not all that pleasant as he made two draws. He knew what Xokiek was implying - it was an accusation he had been sure was made to every member of "his profession" at least once, and he believed he spoke for all of them when he said he didn't like it.
He simply replied, "I'm done, make your move."
"I'm not doubting your ability, Mr. Richards. After all, there was an era not long before ours where all archaeologists were regarded as grave robbers. Many still are. You do seem to have quite a bit of potential - it took ingenuity to defeat the Last Warrior. Many duelists who face such a beast panic and make mistakes."
"Uhm… thank you?"
"You are welcome, although…" Xokiek made a draw. "The reason I summoned it in the first place was to evaluate your competence. Now that I have succeeded, the true strategy of my deck can come to fruition."
At first, Hank thought Xokiek was going to abandon the duel and attack him, as the lich lifted his free hand, palming a ball of black flames… Much like the flames in that vision he had seen. But then he slammed it to the floor, this action created a bonfire of the black flames. Then, three cards appeared over the bonfire, Dark Mimic, Versago the Destroyer, and what looked like Empress Archfiend. Then, three flaming tendrils snaked out of the dark bonfire, grabbing the cards and consuming them in a shadowy embrace.
Oh, crap, thought Hank. He knew what was coming, and it was quite likely his least favorite monster to face. He was far from alone in that regard.
Two evil, feminine eyes appeared in the flames which slowly started to die down and recede. The rest of the monster slowly appeared, a bald, demonic woman, dressed in a halter, gloves, and boots of the style worn by a dominatrix, all made of metal, covered with razors and spikes. She lacked much of the flesh on her stomach and arms, and the bones underneath seemed metal and mechanical. Worst of all, she held a broken, mutilated doll the way a mother would hold an infant. (2,200 ATK)
Much like Last Warrior from Another Planet, several duelists had proposed creative backstories for Dark Necrofear to explain who she was or what forsaken Hell she had come from, but one thing remained consistent in all of them - she was truly Evil. And the way she was looking at Hank right now did little to debunk that assumption…
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"So, any luck, Princess?"
Red Feather blushed. She didn't know it, but she may have given herself a nickname that her colleagues would never let her forget. Fortunately, Nichole changed the subject.
"We'd better hurry, Hank's duel starts in… She checked her watch. "Damn, it's already started…"
It was then that Nichole realized a big flaw in her plan - how to get from the ruined tower to the courthouse and put together the formula she intended to make with all this stuff before the final blow of the duel landed. It seemed a daunting, likely impossible task.
"Calm down," said Red Feather. "Kandy was kind enough to give us this, she said it was a 'new customer bonus'."
What she showed them was a map, printed on fabric. It looked like a novelty version of an old map that would be painted on a tapestry, or (at least from Sonya's perspective) the type included in a boxed video game or sold at souvenir stands at carnivals. In this case, the map depicted Cauldron. Someone had used a blue laundry pen to make twelve dots around the circumference of the city, and an odd pair of words (such as "Pastel Pastor", "Crane Brain", and "Ruin Moat") next to each of them.
Red gave a quick explanation, relating what Kandy had told her - the portal they had used to come through into Mulgo's Pocket had twelve entrances (not including the one in the tower, which Xokiek had used until Kandy had "switched the locks'' for it) and twelve passwords, each corresponding to a different location that was marked on the map. Kandy also mentioned there was a ten Sovereign toll to enter - but not exit.
And one of the portals was only a block from the City Courts.
Nichole made a mental note in her mind to go to that restaurant more often, and to give Kandy a much bigger tip the next time. She had no idea why Kandy was helping them, but she may have truly saved the day here.
So long as they did get there on time, and this would still be cutting it close.
"Nichole, if I may ask," asked Maddie, "what exactly are we going to do with all that stuff?"
"Know how SAL said that the best way to deal with a Suel lich is to trap it in a magical prison?" Maddie nodded. Nichole fastened the book strap - that now held the grimoire, to her belt, doing so giving her a sudden surge of self-confidence. "We're gonna make one. Let's go!"
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Before I post the new cards, I should point out that Greed Jar is a real card, released in Duelist Nexus. Now that that's out of the way:
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Insane Prophet (Effect Monster)
Spellcaster/Dark/Lvl6/2,000ATK/2,100DEF)
Effect: ?
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Moai Idol of Bronze (Effect Monster)
Rock/Light/Lvl3/200ATK/1,000DEF
Effect: When this card is Normal Summoned when you only have Rock-Type monsters in your GY, you may Special Summon a Rock-Type monster from your GY with 1,000 or less ATK; if you do, you may not Special Summon from your Extra Deck that turn except to summon Rock-Type monsters. If this card is used as Xyz Material for a Rock-Type Xyz Monster, then on the turn you do so you may pay 1,000 LP per Xyz Material of the Xyz Summoned monster. If you do, then draw 1 card for each 1,000 LP paid.