Chapter Eighteen

Boredom and fear were a terrible combination. They led to poor decisions and sometimes reckless behavior. Wars had been lost simply because the combatants had grown weary of the interminable waiting that always accompanied such endeavors. Those who had been fortunate enough to never find themselves in a fight for life and death often believed that wars were non-stop action. Movies and novels too easily painted an unrealistic picture of what it was like to be between battles. War was waiting. Lots and lots of waiting. It was enough to drive otherwise psychologically sound people completely mad.

Sitting around Tonks' family's home wondering what was going to happen next gave Hermione a lot of time to think. As it usually did when she thought too much, she developed ideas. One in particular kept returning to her mind over and over again. It was dangerous, very, very dangerous. Put into action, a single mistake could make it backfire and get her killed in an unimaginably painful manner. Or it could be successful and one of her problems solved.

For over a week after meeting Scabior at his home in Watford, she thought about their conversation. She could've written it down verbatim if she was asked. Every single detail was analyzed to strip the tiniest bit of meaning from it. Thanks to something the disillusioned Snatcher said, she developed a new obsession. The golden snitch he sold her was never out of her sight. She constantly rubbed it for reassurance. It felt like she held a small part of Harry with her wherever she went. It would never be enough, but it was something.

Not much was happening from where she sat in the world. Even with the freedom to leave whenever she wished, she still felt stuck. The safe house was suffocating despite its large size. Sitting there day after day waiting was getting to her. She wouldn't last much longer under those circumstances. Running straight up to the first Death Eater she could find and begging them to drag her to Voldemort was becoming a more attractive prospect by the hour. At least then her suffering would be over.

The Order was no closer to finding another horcrux which meant they were no closer to defeating Voldemort. They were going to have to get more creative in their methods of fighting against the enemy. Standard warfare wasn't going to get the job done. It was either that or complete surrender with the hope that life wouldn't be as terrible as they assumed it would be. Or that their deaths would be swift.

Unable to continue just doing nothing, Hermione made a rash decision. She really had nothing to lose. If it ended badly, so be it. No one asked her where she was going or what she was up to when she stood up from the kitchen table and crossed the room to the back door. A few of the cowards might have thought she would ask them to come along if they dared to ask. Not likely. She worked better alone, especially when she was making it up as she went along.

Nothing about the terraced house in Watford had been altered since she last made her unexpected visit. Either Scabior was a fool or he was hopeful she would return again. She wasn't sure if that thought was a comfort or not. Adding no new security wards to his back gate or even remembering to lock his back door was asking for trouble. Perhaps she wasn't the only one who no longer had anything to lose.

"I thought you might be back. Didn't think you'd wait so long though."

Scabior stood over his cooker stirring something in a pot. With his back to the door, he didn't even seem to be afraid of his uninvited guest. Was the man a fool or more cunning than she realized? Hermione kept her wand out and fixed on his back just to be safe. No matter how their conversation went, she would not let the man catch her off-guard.

"It's not even been ten days."

"No, but I assumed you'd come back demanding more answers sooner than this. Why else do you think I left my door unlocked?"

For a reason she didn't understand, he seemed to enjoy having her there. Was the man insane? Probably. Most of them were. It was a side-effect of having been stuck in a dangerous war for years that seemed to have no ending in sight. He gestured to the pot with his wooden spoon.

"You hungry?"

She shook her head and he went back to stirring. Nothing in the entire world would ever entice her to share a meal with the Snatcher. What did it matter if her stomach grumbled and she had to admit that his entire kitchen was filled with truly tantalizing, delicious smells?

"You should eat more. Your clothes are hanging off you. They'll fall off if you're not careful."

"Stop looking at me like that."

His laughter sent a chill up her spine. Standing in his kitchen joking around with the likes of him was not how she wanted to spend her evening.

"I haven't found a cloak or a sword yet. Asked around though. I'm very interested in helping you locate these items."

"I'm sure you are."

She didn't dare believe his words at face value. No doubt he recognized that if she was so eager to find them for herself, they were valuable. He could command even more galleons from a richer source. There was no sense of honor fighting for a just cause where he was concerned. Money was all that mattered. It was no wonder he could stomach a profession that had him track down innocent people to thoroughly ruin their entire lives.

"That's not what I need right now."

Scabior turned halfway around from the cooker to smile.

"Oh, so you hoped I'd changed my mind about risking Rowle's wrath to get a leg over?"

Not even bothering to hide her groan of both frustration and disgust, she rolled her eyes. He thought she was hilarious. Just as she felt the last time she was in his presence, there was nothing in the entire world that would make her to take that one to bed. Even just imagining it made her skin crawl.

"No, but it is about Rowle."

His smiled dimmed ever so slightly. Just bringing up the name of the fearsome Death Eater made him nervous. Good. She could use that to her advantage.

"I need you to get a message to him. Tonight. As soon as possible."

The spoon he held fell into the pot with a loud splunk. Based on his facial expression alone, he wasn't looking forward to accepting that task. She began to worry that maybe she overplayed her hand. Or that she might not have enough galleons to get him to do as she asked.

"That's demanding a lot."

"I know, but it's important. Like ending the war important."

Scabior's eyes narrowed at that last statement. If he truly was interested in the world changing and the war being over, he would help even if it might put him into danger. At least she would finally know if he was just in it for galleons.

"Is that what I get in exchange? The warm knowledge that I helped the so-called good side?"

"I could get you more galleons. I don't have many right now, but I…"

He held up his hand to stop her from rambling on. Truthfully, she didn't know how she would get more, but she was desperate for him to get the message to Thorfinn. It was the only card she had to play, the one idea that she thought might go somewhere.

"Rowle's family has a full vault. He will probably pay any fee I require. What's the message?"

Part of her expected that he would refuse outright to do anything so potentially dangerous. If it was heard by the wrong people that he was in contact with an Undesirable, he could be in serious trouble. Some of his comrades might even be tasked with arresting him. There was also the chance that Thorfinn wouldn't believe any message he heard. She had to make it something that he would know for certain came from her.

"Tell him 'Tottenham Court. Alone. Immediately.' He should understand."

"And if he doesn't?"

Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

"He should. If he doesn't, I'll find you again."

The agreement to track down the Death Eater and carry the message to him was made with just a nod of his head. Casting a spell on his dinner to keep it from burning or spoiling while he was gone, Scabior all but pushed Hermione out the back door as he made his own exit. She was glad to be out of the confined space. Being alone with the man still made her uneasy.

At the back of his garden, she thought about the cafe she and her boys dueled Thorfinn and Dolohov in the day of the Weasley wedding. Meeting Thorfinn in a Muggle area was the only way she felt she could be safe. He would have the advantage in any wizarding district or village. Only amongst her parents' kind could she feel confident.

There was a dark corner near some rubbish bins that allowed her to keep a close eye on the front door of the cafe without exposing herself. After Fletcher seeing her when she thought she was well hidden, she knew she had to be more careful. The last thing she needed was for Thorfinn to come up behind her and disarm her before she even knew he was there.

Trusting either Scabior or Thorfinn was dangerous and certainly not the best idea she ever had. A lot could do wrong very quickly. What if her messenger decided to pass her message on to the wrong Death Eater? Most of them wouldn't understand at all and no harm would be done. Dolohov would know though. If Scabior really wanted to cause real chaos, he would track down Dolohov instead.

Hermione shook her head in some awful, ineffective hope to dislodge those upsetting thoughts from taking root inside her brain. It didn't have to end terribly even if he did betray her. Any hint of Dolohov, she would run without hesitation in the opposite direction. Somehow she doubted Dolohov would care if there was a stadium full of Muggles to witness his barbarity. Where she was concerned, she didn't think all of the rules applied in his sick, twisted mind.

Waiting had become something she was quite good at. Or rather, getting better at. She was too impatient and anxious to really consider it a character strength yet. Nearly an hour passed before she got her first glimpse of the blond brute walking down the pavement towards the cafe. More than once as she watched him cautiously approach the scene of their skirmish months earlier she wondered if she wasn't better off just running away. It would do her no favors to underestimate him. He was dangerous and even if he thought he might have feelings for her, he was too unpredictable to fully trust.

Thorfinn was inside for at least ten minutes before Hermione felt satisfied that none of his mates were likely to follow him inside. Just as there was no reason for her to trust Scabior, there was no incentive for Thorfinn to either. The meeting could've been set up as a trap. If he brought backup to the mysterious summons, she wouldn't have blamed him. It was the smart course of action.

Relief splashed across his features when he looked up at the sound of the bell over the door to see her standing in the doorway. Scabior was right. His feelings for her were a weakness. If anyone else witnessed the change in his expression, they would be able to use it against him. Seated at the same table she once sat at with Harry and Ron, he lifted his hand to silently beckon her closer. There were others in the cafe. She was glad they wouldn't be alone. The chances of him using magic against her were lessened with Muggles.

"Did you come alone?"

His emphatic nod convinced her enough to take the seat across the table. It would've been better to be seated on the same side so they wouldn't have to raise their voices, but she didn't want to be that close to him again. More distance was needed. Even as she gave her order to the Muggle with the kind face, she was ready to bolt out of the cafe. She was just asking for trouble she didn't need. What if her plan didn't work?

"I've been worried sick about you."

"You don't look sick."

"Princess…"

She hated when he called her that. Always had. Every single time in the past she begged him to stop, he only felt more emboldened to call her it more often. Since the first night they shared the same bed in the Shrieking Shack, he seemed to use the sobriquet as more of an endearment. Was he really that foolish?

"When I woke up in the Shrieking Shack and you were gone, I was terrified. Thought that maybe Grandpa removed you from the room so he could take you somewhere more private to hurt."

"I was rescued by a friend."

"Why would you leave? You were safe there."

It took all of her self-control not to roll her eyes. She couldn't believe he was being so thick. There was no doubt in her mind that he wasn't stupid. Far from it. How could he ignore all of the sense he'd been given?

"I was a prisoner, Thorfinn. Why would I not leave given the opportunity?"

"I've been so worried about you. I wish I'd taken you back to my flat when I had the chance. Could've saved us all the headache if I'd just taken you back there the night you sent your parents away."

"Why? So I could be your captive whore?"

He didn't even have to say a word to tell her that he was offended by the words she said. It was written all over his face. How had he managed to make it so far and to so high a rank amongst Voldemort's most faithful with so little control over his emotions? Surely he was more capable of keeping his true thoughts and concerns to himself when he was amongst his master and fellow Death Eaters. Otherwise, she assumed he would've been dead long ago.

"Absolutely not. Why would you say that? I only want to keep you safe. You're in danger."

From the very beginning of the whole ordeal with the massive blond wizard starting back in the garden of her parents' house, she struggled to understand why he would even bother with the likes of her. His lot were the ones that were trying to rid the world of 'magic-stealing scum'. Unfortunately, despite every protestation to the contrary, they weren't willing to believe any witch or wizard could truly be 'Muggle-Born'. They had to have either a secret magical parent or committed a terrible crime against a witch or wizard. Hermione couldn't explain where her magic came from. It was just there. She was exactly the sort that was being hunted down every single day for sham trials and life sentences in Azkaban.

Seeing the hurt on Thorfinn's face that she would even dare to suggest he wanted to protect her for nothing more than sexual purposes, she came to a startling realization. The fool was sincere. He really did believe he was in love with her and everything he claimed he did for her sake was to keep her alive and out of the hands of those who wanted to hurt her. It was unreal. How did they get to that place? She would have found the whole situation amusing if she didn't also think he was so pathetic. There was nothing special about her to make him put his life at risk. What stupid game was he playing?

"Of course I'm in danger. And that's never going to change your lot in charge."

And it wouldn't. No matter how idealistically some in their society remained, there was no way for them to move forward to any sort of progress or even peace with Voldemort the one with the power. An incredibly selfish wizard who never once thought of anyone else in his entire life but himself, he didn't even have the capacity to concern himself with how his actions might affect others. Everyone was just a pawn to be used in an intricate game of chess that no one but the Dark Lord understood the rules to.

Thorfinn thought they could find a place for the two of them to share a life together in that atmosphere. Even though she knew he wasn't stupid as so many assumed him to be merely because of his brute size and strength, she couldn't understand how he would have ever been able to reach that ridiculous conclusion. The best he could hope for was to find her a comfortable room, much like the one she escaped in the Shrieking Shack, to hide her in for the rest of her miserable life.

"I will protect you, Princess. I will."

The vehemence of his promise was almost touching. If she had been the sort of simpering fool to fall for his pretty words, she would probably be reaching for him across the table with tears in her eyes begging him to do just that. But she wasn't that fool. She couldn't be it. There was no security in putting her trust in an emotional creature like him who couldn't even see ten meters in front of him. Sometimes it was a real injustice to women for the world to claim that they were the emotional ones always leading by their feelings. Hermione had known plenty of men who were the same, even worse.

"If you protect me like you claim you want to, Thorfinn… if you take me into your home and claim me as your own, I will never be anything more than your Mudblood whore."

"That's not true. You aren't…"

She reached across the table to place her hand on his forearm. The simple touch kept him from babbling on the nonsense she knew was about to come out of his mouth.

"But I would be. Maybe not to you, maybe not in your eyes, but to everyone else in your world, I would be nothing. What you are asking me for isn't fair. None of your mates, none of your comrades would ever see me as anything more than a plaything you were gifted that could be used and discarded whenever you were bored. Or they might even try to take me away."

"I would never let that happen."

"You might not have a choice. What if you made a mistake and the Dark Lord chose to punish you by taking me and giving me to someone like Dolohov? Or someone even worse, if they exist. You would have no choice. Any effort you made to protect me would be for nothing."

Some of the fire dimmed in his eyes. Whether he wanted to say it out loud or not, he knew that she was correct. There was no situation in their current environment where her existence wouldn't be precarious and dependent on the whims of an evil madman who couldn't be trusted. It was no way to live. They would both be miserable, constantly on edge. If she had any true feelings for Thorfinn, they would quickly be squashed. No one could survive like that.

Feeling suddenly quite devious, Hermione bit back the smirk that threatened to give away her true thoughts. She squeezed his forearm gently and lowered her voice.

"We could be much more than that if the world changed."

Sliding her hand down his forearm, she took his hand in hers. For the short-term she could put away her feelings of disgust to make him feel like she meant what she said.

"We could be together for real if…"

"If what?"

"If the war ended and my side won."

She could see his mind working. The wizard couldn't keep his thoughts off of his face. How had he managed to keep from being killed in the service of his Dark Lord? He must have been very talented in Occlumency. Some people were just naturally gifted. Knowing that she could push him just a little bit further onto her side with her words, she said something that caught him by surprise.

"Our children would never be accepted by your side."

"Our… children?"

"Yes, if your side won, they would always just be considered the bastards of your Mudblood whore. They would never be anything else. They probably wouldn't be allowed to go to Hogwarts."

A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the same time that rage simmered inside his blue eyes. Intrigued by the thought of having a family with her, he also knew that she was right about what would happen to their theoretical offspring. His world would not be kind to them. If her side won, they might have a better chance of a happy life. Of course, Thorfinn didn't need to know that she had absolutely no intention of ever bearing any of his massive brats.

"If you helped my side, there would be a future worth having together."

Speaking the words out loud made her stomach swirl. Was she being convincing? She hoped so. If he could read her thoughts, he would be appalled. As his mind worked over what she had just told him, she did everything she could to keep her facial expressions as neutral as possible.

"What can I do?"

Feeling very triumphant but trying to remain neutral, Hermione cleared her throat and lowered her voice. What she was about to ask of him was nothing small. He would be in serious danger if any of his comrades even suspected he was trying to help her.

"I need to get into the Lestrange vault in Gringotts. There's something inside I need."

Thorfinn was nervous, unsure about what she told him. It was nearly impossible to break into a vault, especially one with high security. She could tell he was on the verge of telling her 'no', that even he didn't have the right connections for something so dangerous. To keep him firmly on her side and hopeful of a future that would never be, she had to take drastic steps. She squeezed his hand again.

"Follow me."

Ignoring that there were other people in the cafe who might be watching, Hermione stood up from the table and headed towards the back. Trusting that she had enough power over the lovesick fool to get him to do as she pleased, she didn't even bother looking back to see if he followed. She knew he was only steps behind, far too curious about what was going to happen next to worry he might be making a very poor decision.

Once inside the very small lavatory, Hermione held the door open for the wizard to join her in the tight space. She closed the door behind him, locked it with a spell no Muggle could accidentally break, and cast the entire room in silencing spells. It was bad enough what she was about to reduce herself to. There didn't need to be any witnesses to her shame.

"I've missed you."

He had no opportunity to respond before she pressed her lips against his. If he was willing to believe the lie, it wasn't her fault. She deepened the kiss and Thorfinn readily responded. It was necessary that he be convinced she needed him and wanted a future. To escalate the kiss even further, she ran her hands down the front of his tightening trousers to tease him before lowering his zipper.

There had always been chemistry between them. That fact would never be denied. It was a shame he was such a reprehensible creature who pledged his life to evil. In another lifetime they could've been something. Even when she loathed him, Hermione couldn't help but like him too. He made her laugh. No one had ever made her scream out in indescribable pleasure like he did. She didn't even know it was possible to feel so good when his hands and his mouth were on her willing body.

A strong man, he was able to easily push her up against the wall and hold her right where he wanted her with only one hand. His free hand made short work of tugging her knickers down and pushing up the skirt she wore specifically because she thought it very likely she would end up in that position. They had only been inside the room for maybe a minute or two before he was guiding her to take the full length of his impressive cock. She hissed in part-pain, part-pleasure at the intrusion.

"You feel so good. I've missed feeling you inside me."

Thorfinn was the sort of lover to thrive on praise. Excited by her words, whether they were true or not, he needed no further encouragement to speed up his movements. All she could so in those first few moments was close her eyes and remind herself to breathe. Why did it have to feel so fucking good?

"I need you in my bed every night, Princess. I can't sleep without you next to me."

She thought it more likely it was his guilty conscience that kept him awake at night, but she didn't dare say so. No reason to ruin what was shaping up to be a pleasant encounter. To keep herself from blurting out something she would regret, she captured his mouth with hers again. Damn, but the man could kiss. What a waste it all was.

"It's not safe for me to be in your bed."

"I'd kill anyone who dared to hurt you with my bare hands."

And she had no doubt he was telling the truth. It was useful to have a brute like him around.

"I want to fill your belly with my children."

It was her own fault for putting that thought into his head when they were back at the table. Nothing filled her with as much dread as the thought of having his baby. That would never happen. She would curse her womb herself if his seed dared to try to take root.

"Not until the world is safe for them."

Excited by the thought of a future that would never be, he increased the intensity of every move he made. Despite feeling confident in her silencing spells, she bit her lip to keep from screaming out as he repeatedly pushed her back up the wall. Experience with the wizard in the Shrieking Shack told her that he wouldn't last much longer. He made certain she was seeing stars in her vision before he gave into his own climax.

Slowly, reality came back. Hermione slid down the wall to set both feet back on the ground. They couldn't remain in there much longer. Soon the room would be needed, if it wasn't already. He understood they would have to part too. As soon as they were both as presentable as they were able to be following what had been a very intense and passionate experience, he reached for her hand. As much as she wanted to shrug him off, she allowed him to pull her back into his arms.

There was a legitimate fear inside of her that he wouldn't let her go. For a moment she was scared that he was going to force her back to his flat. She knew there was a risk in meeting him, even in a public place. If he wanted to, he could Side-Along Apparate them out of the cafe's toilet and straight to another prison. It was a risk she knew she had to take.

"I'll… I'll see what I can do for you."

With his promise still hanging in the air, Thorfinn removed the spells and rushed out of the room. Perhaps a part of him was contemplating kidnapping her too. She waited inside for another minute. When she felt like enough time had gone by since he made his escape, she walked through the cafe to the front door ignoring everyone who might be looking in her direction.

Until she was in a dark corner and able to Apparate back to the Order's safe house, she remained on high alert. Maybe he would try to capture her when she didn't expect it on the pavement. Or it was possible one of his fellow Death Eaters followed him there. Only when she saw the country house ahead could she take a deep breath again.

"Where were you?"

At the base of the narrow staircase leading up to her borrowed bedroom, Kingsley stopped her with the question she was beginning to resent. Not in the mood for that conversation, she pushed past him and headed straight for the bathroom. All she wanted in that moment was a long, hot shower. Each second that ticked by following her impromptu meeting with Thorfinn made her feel even more disgusted. She didn't expect she would have to be with him again so soon.