In a bar in Knowhere, two relatively new citizens were out drinking and having a good time, as most buddies do after work. One of them threw back one last shot of liquor and said, "I'm telling ya, if the higher ups would just listen to me, I'd have spinal fluid extraction up 50 percent. 66 percent tops! Ah, but they never listen, don't they?"
The other man shrugged and said, "Eh, what are you gonna do? It sure beats working for the High Asshole-Manchild, don't it?"
The first grinned back and said, "Heh. Good one! I oughta pay him a visit and throw peanuts at him tomorrow."
"Great idea! Well, get home safe, bro."
"Sure thing. See you in the AM."
The former security officer of the High Evolutionary left the bar and took a leisurely stroll to his residence on the planet-sized Celestial skull. He calmly walked down the streets, only to stop when he noticed the strange fog swirling around his legs. A strange sound brought his attention into an adjacent alley.
"Is someone there?!" he called out.
He stared down into the alleyway, and slowly walked down into it.
"Hee-hee-hee-heee!"
The man turned around, eyes wide as his eyes darted around in search of the source of the laughter. Then he heard ominous tapping echoing through the alleyway.
"I need to get out of here," he muttered to himself.
He turned around and was face of face with the face of a furry, glowing eyed creature with sharp teeth. It roared at him, and he quickly spun around and ran, only to become face to face with a massive creature with long teeth.
"Hee-hee-hee-heeeeeee!"
The man slowly turned to see a horrifyingly spider-like creature clinging to the wall. It fixed its glowing red eyes on him and said, "You can't escape your past. . ."
The man screamed as she leapt at him.
(They did the Mash!)
They did the Monster Mash
(The Monster Mash!)
It was a graveyard smash
The GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Halloween Special
(They did the Mash!)
It caught on in a flash
(They did the Mash!)
They did the Monster Mash
Rocket bobbed his head to the catchy tune as he piloted the ship while wearing the headphones connected to the Zune player. The device had many songs on it, and some were a little odder than others. As odd as this one was, Rocket couldn't deny that it was a definite bop.
The zombies were having fun (tennis shoe, wa hoo)
The party had just begun (tennis shoe, wa hoo)
The guests included Wolfman (tennis shoe, wa hoo)
Dracula and his son
The ship landed, and out came the newest iteration of the Guardians of the Galaxy, minus Blurp who had curled up to sleep in the ship and didn't seem too keen on moving from his napping place. Turning off the Zune, Captain Rocket Raccoon exited the ship, and stepped down the ramp and back onto the Guardians' home of Knowhere.
Rocket turned to face his team as they disembarked and said, "Alright guys. We're in between missions at the moment. Might as well get some R and R and-AHCK!"
A loud whirring and squirting sound assaulted Rocket's ears, and he felt something cold and wet squirt onto his head. Rocket turned around fast just in time to see none other than the "Legendary" Star-Lord himself standing over him holding a can of shaving cream.
"Gotcha! Ha-ha!" Peter Quill laughed triumphantly.
Rocket rolled his eyes, but couldn't hide a small smile as he wiped the foam off of his head. "Well, you haven't changed at all, Quill. Didn't expect ya to be back so soon, though."
"Oh, I helped pay for a vacation my grandpa always wanted to go on. Perfect timing too, seeing as he was never really a fan of Halloween and didn't want to deal with all the trick-or-treaters this year," Peter explained.
"Someone said treat! Who said treat!" Cosmo said excitedly, ears perked and tail wagging.
". . . what's Halloween? That like Christmas?" Rocket asking, sounding intrigued.
"Well, it is an Earth holiday. But it's more of an excuse to scare people with pranks and eat insane amounts of candy," Peter said gleefully.
Phyla became very interested and said with a big grin, "Oh, I really like Halloween!"
Rocket rolled his eyes. "Of course you would. You're just as 'mature' as Quill," Rocket said while making finger quotes. Then he held his arms up and said, "For the record, I already got pranked. I'm done, so everyone aim any further pranks at someone else, preferably at Quill."
Peter smirked at Rocket and said, "Oh, don't you even try, I'm too good to be caught by a prank."
Peter felt someone tap him on the left shoulder. He turned around but saw none. Then he felt a tap on his right shoulder. Another turn and still no one. This happened twice more, and Peter was spinning around and around, causing laughter amongst the other Guardians.
"Alright, who's the wise guy?" Peter said with an annoyed pout.
Peter felt a steady touch on his shoulder, and a familiar voice said, "You want to know what the stuff in that can tastes like."
Peter opened his mouth and sprayed shaving cream into it. He immediately spat it out as everyone else laughed.
Mantis chuckled playfully at her brother's expense and said, "Well, I really like this 'Halloween' too!"
Peter recovered from the prank, and he forced a smile and said, "Alright, alright. Well played. But in my defense, I didn't know you were back in Knowhere."
Mantis had a big smile as she hugged him. "I thought I'd pay the others a visit. It's a wonderful coincidence that you're back as well, Peter!" she said happily.
"Yeah, yeah, this is very heartwarming," Rocket said, "How about we turn it into a roaring blaze by seeing what Drax and Nebula are up to."
"Peter Quill. Mantis. You are here as well," Drax said, smiling and pleased to see them as the group entered Guardians HQ.
"I know, right? I'm half expecting Thor to show up!" Rocket said with a half joking tone, "So, how are things in Knowhere?"
Nebula had a serious expression on her face when the group entered, and it did not change a bit as she replied, "Not very good, as a matter of fact."
Kraglin sighed and said, "Oh great . . ."
Rocket nodded and said, "Alright, what's the situation?"
"There have been a series of attacks on the citizens of Knowhere," Nebula explained, "Each one is the same. They're walking home alone at night. They are lured into a secluded spot. They're found later traumatized and scared out of their minds. After which they become bedridden and keep talking about 'the ghosts of their past' and how they cannot escape them."
Drax nodded solemnly and said, "I do believe Knowhere is haunted."
Rocket frowned and said, "There's no such things as ghosts."
Peter looked at Rocket incredulously and said, "Seriously? After everything we've seen, you're telling me that ghosts are somehow impossible? We fought a living planet, my sister can hypnotize people by touching them, and we've got a talking dog with psychic powers and a talking tree on the team!"
"I am Groot?"
"Surely you are not insulting me in some roundabout way?"
Rocket huffed and said, "I don't know, Quill. Ghosts are just one of those things that crosses the line for me."
Adam Warlock frowned deeply and said, "I do not like ghosts. The living are the living and the dead are the dead. You can't be both at the same time. The thought of such a thing. . .disturbs me . . .greatly."
"Thanks for the ray of sunshine," Rocket snarked, then he looked to Nebula and asked, "You got a list of the victims? Maybe there's a pattern?"
Nebula activated the computer and pulled up the list of victims. Immediately, Rocket's eyes lit up.
"Huh. All of these guys used to work for the High Evolutionary," he said.
"Hey," Kraglin piped up, "Ya think the ghost will try to go after another one of these guys tonight?"
"I am Groot."
"Yeah, keeping an eye on these guys seems like our best bet," Rocket agreed, giving a grateful nod to Groot.
Peter couldn't help but grin and say, "Alright. I'll say it: It looks like we got a spooky Halloween mystery on our hands!"
Nebula raised an eyebrow and said, "Halloween? Another Terran holiday, I presume? Well, now's hardly the time for celebrating. I suggest we go in pairs and keep watch over the remaining possible targets. If anyone sees anything suspicious, light up those comms. We need to catch whoever or whatever this thing is before things get out of hand."
As a former Counter Earth scientist walked to his apartment, Kraglin and Cosmo followed behind from a distance.
"I do not understand the point of this ghost. Why only scare these few out of everyone here?" Cosmo asked, the volume on her translation collar turned down low.
"I don't know," Kraglin whispered back, "I mean, superstitious stuff like this is usually all about getting what you deserve. But I don't know if these guys actually did anything all that bad. Most of them are just goons. Sure, some of them are scientists, but I don't think they're the ones that did all the real sick experiments."
"Either way, we should not be wasting time. This sneaking around is irritating. I could be doing something more productive right now."
"Like what? Eating? Sleeping?"
"Sleep is important for keeping telekinesis strong."
Up ahead, the target made it into his building and closed the door behind him.
Cosmo barked in annoyance and her collar turned back up to normal volume as she said, "See! Waste of time!"
Kraglin shrugged and said, "Yeah, maybe you're right. We should- where did all this fog come from?"
Kraglin and Cosmo both looked down at the thick fog that had seemingly rolled in out of nowhere. Their pupils dilated as the fog swirled round about them. The dog sniffed at the fog and whined.
"It smells so foul," she said.
"Hee-hee-hee-hee-heeeeee!"
Kraglin swallowed hard and said, "Cosmo, I will give you all the treats you want if you tell me that was you."
". . .that was me."
"You're lying just to get the treats, aren't you?"
". . .Yes."
Mechanical clicking and metallic tapping could be heard, and the pair turned around to see a horrifying, spider-like creature approach them. Its furry body was filthy and mangy looking, with a pair of demonic glowing red eyes. Huge jagged antennas humming with electricity stuck out of its head. Jagged metal legs lined with deadly looking spikes were connected unnaturally to its body. But worst of all was the enormous metal jaws seemingly welded to its face.
(Cue "Over My Head (Better Off Dead)" by Sum 41)
And then, the creature reared up on its two hindmost legs like a tarantula in its attack pose, and its fearsome jaws snapped open as it let out a blood curdling shriek.
"Run for it, Cosmo!" Kraglin shouted, and he and the spacedog both turned and ran for their lives as the bunny-spider-cyborg pursued them.
The man and dog ran down the street as the giggling apparition didn't give up the chase, or even slow down. Kraglin and Cosmo ran to a ladder on the side of a building. Cosmo jumped onto Kraglin back as he frantically started climbing up the ladder. Cosmo looked behind and saw that the ghost was climbing up the wall like an actual spider.
Cosmo jumped off Kraglin's back and onto the roof. She then used her telekinesis to lift Kraglin up the rest of the way and throw him onto the roof. The phantom lagomorph then jumped up onto the roof
Cosmo and Kraglin both screamed and turned to run, with the ghost right behind them. The pair split up at a pair of smoke stacks and ran around them in a figure eight pattern as the phantom alternated between chasing the two.
Eventually Cosmo ran right into Kraglin and bowled him over. They fell to the ground, and they turned and saw the cyborg bunny screeching at them again. The two got up fast and ran right to the edge of the roof. They ended up tumbling over the side and onto the hanging clotheslines below. Kraglin grabbed one of the lines, while Cosmo got tangled in some of the clothes.
The rabbit spider jumped after them and walked along the clotheslines, jumping down towards them. Cosmo saw the ghost coming, and in a panic she used her telekinesis to unhook the clotheslines she was hanging from. She immediately fell down and landed on top of Kraglin. Her added weight caused the clothesline he was hanging on to snap, and they both fell straight down.
Luckily, their fall was slightly broken by some trash cans down below.
". . .Ow. . ." Kraglin said, and he blinked as his eyes returned to normal. Cosmo blinked a few times too, and her eyes also went back to normal.
"What are you two stupid idiots doing!?"
Kraglin and Cosmo turned to see Rocket and Groot staring at them. Rocket looked really annoyed, with his arms folded and his tail swinging.
"Well?" Rocket demanded.
"Drax was correct. Knowhere is haunted," Cosmo said solemnly.
"No kidding! We just got chased by the freakiest ghost in the galaxy!" Kraglin insisted.
Rocket rubbed his face with his palms and moaned, "Oh you've gotta be kidding me. . ."
"I am Groot?"
Rocket glared at Groot and said, "Don't encourage them!"
"We really were chased by a ghost!" Kraglin insisted as he got up and started brushing garbage off of himself, "It was the most nightmarish thing I've ever seen! It was half rodent and half insect! With these horrible enormous jaws! We're in over our heads, Captain!"
Rocket sighed and said, "How about we regroup, and we can hear what everyone else has to say."
"It could have been me," the man said as he sat in his apartment across from Peter and Mantis, "It would have been me if I had left first."
Mantis gave a sympathetic smile and said, "We are certain that your friend will make a full recovery in time."
The former employee of the High Evolutionary sighed and said, "I don't know. Maybe we deserve it. Maybe we don't belong here."
"Hey," Peter said firmly but fairly, "Sure, you played a part in some animal testing, and that's messed up. But none of the people we rescued from that ship were Recorders or actually did the tortures on those animals and children. Those assholes all got blown up. The guards and engineers and interns; they didn't cross that line. I mean, listen to yourself, you clearly regret what you did. That's why we're gonna stop these attacks. You have my word."
The man relaxed a bit and said, "Well, that sure is kind of you. To be honest, I didn't really want to talk anymore about this, especially after that interview I gave to that Collector."
Peter was intrigued by this and asked, "So, wait, the Collector interviewed you about your job?"
"Yes," the man said with a nod.
"Huh. . . okay," Peter said, "Well then, I guess that's it. Let us know if anything happens."
Peter and Mantis exited the building, and Mantis said, "Whatever's targeting these people must not forgive them for being a part of the High Evolutionary's atrocities."
"I know, but-," Peter began, but was interrupted when Mantis suddenly put her hand on his chest.
"Wait! Do you. . .feel that?" Mantis said urgently. Her eyes were growing wide. Wider than ever.
As an ominous fog rolled in, Peter's eyes began to dilate. As he looked around, he heard a fierce snarling and saw a figure rise up out of the fog. It was a brown mustelid, with various cybernetics wired into its body. It also had a pair of unsettlingly thin mechanical arms wired where its forelegs would have been. With blood red eyes and mangy fur, it roared at Peter and Mantis, revealing a mouthful of sharp teeth. The creature also drooled foam as if it had rabies. Even worse, the creature eerily floated several feet above the ground, hanging in unnervingly limp in mid air.
(Cue "It's Terror Time Again" by Skycycle)
"Let's get out of here!" Peter shouted, and he grabbed Mantis by the arm and they both ran for their lives.
The phantom flew after them, metal arms outstretched and eyes blazing. As Peter and Mantis ran, they could hear the otter cackling maniacally. They both turned to look behind them and they could see it rapidly gaining on them.
They both ran back to the Guardians' Headquarters. They quickly entered and slammed the door, locking it shut. Peter braced the door with his shoulder, only for the ghost to stick its head through the door and snarl in his face.
Peter and Mantis took off running into the kitchen. They grabbed various cans, bottles, and cartons and lobbed them at the mustelid. It all passed through it as it flew towards them. The siblings both screamed and ran as the ghost swung its metal claws at them.
They quickly ran up the stairs, burst into a bedroom, and charged towards an open window. They both dived out of the window, and Peter hit the ground in a roll while Mantis landed on her feet and hit the ground running.
More maniacal laughter rang out, and the ghost leapt out of the window to fly after them. The pair ducked into an alley, and the ghost quickly followed. It zipped down the alley, still laughing as it zoomed off into the darkness.
Several feet above, Peter and Mantis had their hands together to brace each other as they stood with their feet against the walls of the alley like a living arch.
Mantis breathed out in relief and said, "It's gone. We're safe."
They jumped back down and took a moment to gasp for breath.
"Listen," Peter said as he caught his breath, "There's a logical explanation for all this."
"What is it?" Mantis asked desperately.
"Drax was right, the place is haunted," Peter said bluntly.
"Thank you! Thank you so much for telling me that! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW!" Mantis shouted, looking to be at the end of her rope.
At this moment, their eyes finally returned to normal.
Peter blinked, and he shook his head and said, "C'mon, we gotta warn the others."
Nebula and Drax climbed down a ladder to get off of a rooftop from which they were spying from.
"Nothing," Nebula said miserably as she stepped onto the ground, "We've watched potential targets walk around and go home for hours, and not a thing."
"The ghost will have to show itself eventually," Drax said gravely as he jumped off of the ladder.
Nebula turned to Drax and said, "Stop calling it a ghost. Assuming that it's something. . . intangible will only make it harder to deal with." Nebula then turned to face forward and shook her head, "Perhaps this is pointless. Whatever this thing is, it's probably a coward. Our reputation supersedes us. I doubt it has the courage to meet us face to face."
(Cue "Goodbye" by SR-71)
The revving of servos and the screeching of tires suddenly sounded and echoed through the streets of Knowhere. A thick fog rolled in, and along with that fog rolled in a massive brown creature. When it skidded into view, it revealed itself to be somewhat aquatic, which made the fact that it had a pair of big tires integrated into its sides. The creature's eyes were glowing, and it bared its massive tusks as it glared with rage.
As they stood knee deep in the fog, Drax's eyes dilated and Nebula's breathing became shallow as they both stared at the twisted beast.
"The ghost has shown itself," Drax said breathlessly.
". . .Run," Nebula said plainly.
The ghost roared and drove towards them as they turned and ran.
Nebula and Drax ran towards a fence as the walrus on wheels pursued them. Drax leapt over the fence with ease, while Nebula jumped and grabbed the top of the fence to parkour over it. They kept running, as a second later the ghost smashed right through the fence and didn't even slow down.
The pair ran right into a bar, and the creature followed them right in after them. It smashed through the door and sent everyone else in the bar running and screaming as it caused total chaos.
Nebula and Drax jumped over the bar and dived down behind it. The snarling beast rolled its way over to the bar, only for the pair to pop back up and smash a bottle on either side of its head. They quickly left the dazed phantom in the dust as they resumed running for their lives.
As they ran down a narrow street, they could hear the revving of tires behind them. The wheeled monster gained on them, and then jumped sideways and actually drove sideways across the wall.
Nebula grabbed Drax by the arm and pulled him sideways into a side passage, and the ghost skipped off of the wall, drifted, and drove in after them. The pair ran through the path as the wheel rims of the massive ghost scratched the walls as it barely fit.
As the ghost closed in, Drax drew his daggers and jumped to the right. He stabbed his blades into the wall and climbed out of the way. Nebula activated her arm cannon and jumped as she fired it on the ground. This propelled her up into the air and she clung to a ledge up above
The phantom drove past and disappeared into the foggy darkness.
Drax and Nebula landed back on the ground as the fog rolled out.
"Impossible," Nebula said as she stared into the darkness.
"We need to go back for reinforcements!" Drax said urgently, "We do not have the means to fight an incorporeal being."
Nebula shook her head and frowned sourly as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. "Let's just. . . go back and regroup," she finally said.
Back at the Guardians' HQ, Rocket stood scowling at the front door with Groot at his side. His tail was swishing as he listened to the majority of his team shouting what sounded like nonsense at him. Eventually it became too much to take, and he raised his arms and shouted, "EVERYONE, SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Everyone complied, and Rocket took a good look around. The only ones not present were Adam Warlock and Phyla, who were still surveying Knowhere from the air. Rocket addressed his team seriously and said, "You've all gotta be kidding me. You show up spouting nonsense about flying, floating, undead cyborgs that chased you all around this place like a bunch of babies. Don't you guys have any shame?"
Rocket clenched his fist and drove it into his open palm as he continued his rant, "I don't know what you saw, but whatever it was, none of you had any right running away from it after all the crap we've been through all these years."
Drax shook his head and said, ". . .We have never faced departed spirits."
Groot made a face and muttered nervously as he took a step away from Rocket, "I am Groot. . ."
Rocket looked ready to blow a gasket as his nostrils flared. He shut his eyes tight, took a deep breath, and said with mounting rage, "There. . .are no. . .such things. . . AS GHOSTS!"
Immediately after Rocket said this, devious giggling could be heard throughout the general area, coupled with a thick fog that rolled in. The group turned to the left to see something approaching them. The creaking and clicking of metallic joints could be heard, and out of the fog stepped the cyborg rabbit that had gone after Kraglin and Cosmo, its mechanical jaws snapping with deadly intent.
Rocket's rage was blown out like a candle, and replaced with utter horror and disbelief.
A fierce growl could be heard from the opposite direction, and the group turned again to see the mechanical armed otter floating effortlessly above the ground. Her eyes blazed and as she raised one of her appendages to make a slicing motion across her throat.
Rocket's horror blossomed into terror.
The loud revving of an engine made everyone turn around to see the massive walrus on wheels approach from directly across from Guardians HQ. He chuckled darkly as his gazed with malicious intent upon all before him.
Peter Quill was the first to speak, "Well, Captain. What do we do now?"
". . .Seriously!?" Rocket finally squeaked out, "Do you guys seriously need to be told what to do in this situation? RUUUUUUUUUUUN!"
(Cue "Yakety Sax" by Boots Randolph)
The eight of them all took off running, and the three phantoms pursued them closely. The Guardians ran into an alley and split up, heading into three pairs of doors that lined either side. The ghosts split up in kind and went into the doors as well.
Mantis screamed as she ran from right to left with the rabbit hot on her heels. Then Cosmo howled in fear as she cut across the alley diagonally to flee from the walrus. Nebula sprinted from left to right, not looking back as the otter flew after her. Groot shouted as he burst out a door and ran down the alley with Rocket clinging to his shoulder. The two dashed into a door as both the otter and the rabbit chased them.
Kraglin was screaming for help as he ran out of a door with the walrus rolling behind him. Drax ran out of another door, his eyes met the walrus', and he quickly ran back into the door as the walrus turned and rolled after him. Peter ran out of a left door and in through a right door, then immediately ran back out yelling as all three ghosts came out and chased him back into a left door.
"ENOUGH!"
The Guardians all stepped out of the doors and looked up as Adam Warlock descended from the air.
"Are all of you suddenly cowards?!" Adam shouted in disbelief, "Running around like fools!" Adam gestured furiously with his hands and said, "This is just pathetic!"
Phyla flew over to his side and said with a grin, "Yeah, this is kinda sad. Didn't you guys fight Thanos or something? Why are you afraid of a bunch of animals? No offense, Captain."
There was a moment of awkward silence, then Rocket jumped off of Groot's shoulder and shouted, "Damn it, they're right! What the Hell is wrong with us!?"
Cosmo sniffed at the fog swirling on the ground and said, "I still say this fog smells foul."
"The fog!" Mantis interjected, "It was there when Peter and I were chased by the ghost."
Drax nodded and said, "We also saw the fog when one of the phantoms made its appearance."
Peter huffed and said, "So that's the answer. This. . .fear fog is messing with our heads."
Nebula was clearly angry, and she said, "I will not be manipulated by anything or anyone. We need to find the source of this fog. Now."
"Well, we have no way of doing that," Cosmo replied bluntly.
Kraglin eyed Cosmo impatiently and asked, "Do you sometimes forget that you're a dog?"
The Guardians, now including Phyla and Adam, followed Cosmo as she followed the scent of the fog to its point of origin. They soon arrived at a rather inconspicuous door, aside from the fact that thick fog was quickly flowing out from underneath it.
"Cosmo, you go in first," Kraglin said.
"What? Why?" Cosmo said incredulously.
"You led us here," Kraglin argued.
Cosmo sat down defiantly and replied, "I refuse to go into room where scary death fog is coming from."
Rocket decided to take charge and said, "You want a treat, Cosmo? I'll give ya a treat if you go in first."
"No."
"Two treats?"
"No!"
"Three?"
"NO!"
"The whole bag, and that's my final offer!"
Cosmo turned her head, her ears perking up slightly. ". . . Deal," she finally said.
Rocket sighed and took out the bag of treats, and then dumped them out on the ground in front of Cosmo. She quickly devoured the treats, then turned towards the door and pulled it open with her telekinesis. She then walked into the room. Shortly after she called back, "No one is in here, and I see the source of the fog!"
The Guardians stepped into the room and saw a large cubical machine covered in tubes and on wheels. The fog was flowing freely out of a large opening near the bottom.
Nebula nodded, "Right, now we need to deactivate this-."
Rocket and Peter drew their guns and fired on the machine. With large holes blasted in it, the machine sat idle and the fog ceased to flow. It didn't take long for the effects of the fog to fade from the Guardians' psyche.
"Was that really necessary?!" Nebula exclaimed in irritation.
Rocket shrugged, "What? It felt good!"
Peter took a deep breath and said, "Finally, now at least we can think a little more clearly."
"Look at this!" Mantis cried out.
Everyone turned to see Mantis standing next to a small stack of metal disks. She held one of the disks in her hand, and out of that disk was a holographic image of the phantom spider bunny. She dropped the disk, and it floated smoothly about an inch above the ground.
Kraglin looked in disbelief and said, "We've been running away from. . . holograms?"
"I am Groot," Groot said with a frown.
"No one should blame themselves," Peter said with certainty, "Not only did the fog hide the disks, but it also messed with our heads. Who would've thought someone would try and pull a Scooby-Doo on us."
"A what?" Nebula asked incredulously
"It's when someone makes a hoax involving a ghost or a monster to commit a crime," Peter explained quickly.
Rocket scowled and said, "Damn it. Fear fog or no fear fog, I shouldn't have been fooled so easily. Because I knew them. The real them. That stupid fog made me think it was them, but now I can see it ain't them. They were obviously fakes, and I ain't afraid of no fakes."
"But we still don't know who's behind all this! Or why!" Mantis said.
Peter nodded confidently and looked around busily. "No problem," he said as he rubbed his hands together, "I know how to handle this. The culprit has gotta come back here. We just need to set up a trap for them. We're gonna need some chains, a few sections of pipe, some of Knowhere's spinal fluid, Rocket's antigravity boots. . .oh, and some tape. Does anybody have any tape?"
"I have tape," Nebula offered.
"AH-HA!" Rocket shouted triumphantly, "I KNEW IT!"
Peter was on the defense as he shouted back, "Just because she has tape now doesn't mean she had tape back when we were fighting Ego!"
Rocket turned to Nebula and said, "Alright. Did you have any tape back then?"
"That was over six years ago, how do you expect me to remember that?" Nebula replied.
"Don't you have a computer in your head?"
"Why would I bother keeping something as inconsequential as whether or not I had any tape that day?"
Mantis frowned and said, "Nobody asked me if I had any tape that day."
Rocket turned to her and asked, "Wait, you had tape?"
"No," Mantis replied.
"Then why are you wasting my time!?" Rocket shouted angrily.
CRASH!
Everyone turned to see the wheeled walrus smash through a wall. He rolled forward menacingly and glared furiously at them.
". . . That's just a hologram, right?" Kraglin asked nervously.
Phyla gave him the side eye and said, "I don't think holograms can smash through walls."
"Whatever!" Rocket said flippantly, "This fake is no threat to us. C'mon, what's it gonna do?"
As if to answer Rocket's question, the rims on the phantom walrus's massive wheels opened up and dropped two metal canisters. The canisters then popped open and flooded the room with what the Guardians soon discovered to be a more potent formulation of the fear fog.
Rocket's facial expression fell as his fur stood up on end and his pupils dilated. "Well, this sucks," he said as fear and dread began to overtake him.
Adam blinked and said, "I feel the need to be somewhere that is not here."
The walrus let out a fierce roar as his tires squealed and burned rubber.
"Good plan, Adam. Let's MOVE!" Peter shouted.
The band Bzermikitokolok and the Knowheremen were busy tuning their instruments when their leader spotted a familiar face approaching. Bzermikitokolok smiled and waved. "Hey, Peter! I heard that you were back in Knowhere. Got any requests?"
As Peter and Mantis ran by, the Terran shouted, "Play some chase music!"
The band leader thought on this, and he smiled, "Alright. I think we got something. It'll be a. . . blast!"
Kortolbookalia, Sliyavastojoo and Phloko all grinned, and the band began to play.
(Cue "Timebomb" by the Old 97's)
The walrus rolled by and quickly gained on Peter and Mantis. Mantis leapt upwards and grabbed onto a metal bar. She swung up and over, and wound up landing on top of the phantom's head. Peter had to dive out of the way as the ghost lost control and slammed into some railings. Mantis was sent flying but hit the ground running, leaving the ghost dazed from the impact.
Adam and Phyla ran down a street and split up when the ghost closed in on them. Phyla ducked into a nearby mechanic's shop as Adam kept on running. The walrus passed the shop to pursue Adam. Phyla stuck her head out of the door and whistled, and Adam came running back. After he passed, Phyla took out a grease gun she borrowed from the shop and sprayed the street. The walrus rolled over the oil slick and went sliding away, and Phyla grinned and pumped her fist before running after Adam.
Nebula and Drax were sprinting through the market district, and other people were screaming and diving out of the way of the walrus on wheels. Nebula grabbed Drax's shoulder and made him stop, and she turned him to face the ghost with her. The walrus snarled and lowered his head, building up speed. Nebula and Drax then dove out of the way at the last moment, and the ghost smashed into a stand loaded with alien fruits. The ghost slid to a halt on his stomach, covered in mashed vegetation.
Rocket clung to Groot's back as Groot uses his vine-like arms to swing from the buildings like Spider-Man. However, the ghost hit the turbo on his wheels and managed to get close on Groot's downswing. The walrus was able to chomp right on Rocket's tail and pull him off of Groot's back. However, the ghost didn't expect Groot to swing around from the top of a nearby building, and use the momentum to land a powerful double kick into the ghost's back. The walrus dropped Rocket and went flying due to the force of Groot's kick, landing with a crash over a nearby fence.
Kraglin and Cosmo made a sharp turn into an alley, only to eventually come to a dead end at the end of it. They both turned just in time to see the ghost walrus roll over to the entrance to the alley. He revved his massive wheels, and then took off straight towards them.
Cosmo whimpered and cowered next to Kraglin, and he looked down at her with a growing sense of concern. Then, he looked down with a growing sense of shame.
"Yondu wouldn't be running and hiding like this. . ." he thought to himself.
Kraglin then held his head high. His eyes were still dilated from the effects of the fog, but that meant nothing to him. Staring dead on at the approaching phantom, Kraglin let out a long whistle. His arrow flew out of its sheath, and Kraglin narrowed his gaze as he whistled again, causing the arrow to turn and aim itself right where it needed to go.
With the sound of the screeching tire and the phantom fierce roaring in his ears, Kraglin whistled one final time. The arrow shot out and pierce right through the axle of the ghost's right wheel, shearing it right off.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the ghost roared as it swerved on its remaining wheel and slammed hard into the wall to its right with an incredible crash.
Kraglin let out a sigh of relief, and he whistled one final time to call his arrow back to him.
The rest of the Guardians all arrive on the scene, amazed by what they were seeing.
"You did it!" Mantis exclaimed happily, "You really did it!"
"Odd," Nebula observed, "You should have still been under the fear-inducing effects of the fog."
Kraglin cracked a smile and said, "Heh? Well, sometimes ya just don't got no time for fear, right Cosmo?"
Cosmo barked and said, "Kraglin is a good man!"
Peter approached the crashed phantom and said, "Well then, how about we see who this walrus really is."
Peter then grabbed the ghost head and pulled, peeling off the elastic mask and revealing the culprit's true identity:
"The Collector!?"
"But why?" Mantis asked incredulously.
Peter smiled as he leaned against the wall and explained, "Well, first of all, this guy still has a sense of ownership over Knowhere, even though we bought it from him. I mean, come on, he literally calls himself The Collector, of course the guy's gonna be possessive. So, maybe he had some objections on how we were managing the place. Like, for instance, letting the High Evolutionary's scientists live here."
The Collector frowned and nodded, looking a comical sight with his head sticking up out of the walrus suit. "It's true. It's one thing to collect and preserve, but that bastard and his cronies rip and tear and reassemble with their crude experiments. Their presence here disgusts me. I never went after the man himself because you had the sense to put him in a cage, but I couldn't allow those parasites to walk around freely."
"Wait," Rocket said, "How the Hell did he know what to make those 'ghosts' look like?"
"Mantis and I learned that the Collector interviewed the scientists," Peter explained, "He got information on some of their most interesting experiments. It makes sense that the ones made alongside Rocket would be the most interesting, so those are the ones that came up the most."
Nebula then added, "And all of the knowledge the Collector has amassed over time would make it simple for him to formulate a fear inducing toxin, either synthetically or from a biological source."
"And he's filthy rich from selling Knowhere!" Kraglin added, "So he had all the credits he needed to build those fog machines and his ghosts, all so he could torment the scientist until either he scared them all to death or convinced them to just leave before they got hit next."
The Collector glared at the group and said, "Yes. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling Guardians."
"But you didn't," Peter said cockily, "Take him away, Drax."
As Drax ripped the walrus costume apart and hoisted the Collector out by the collar, Nebula turned to Peter and said, "Well then, I suppose you were able to celebrate your Halloween fear holiday here after all."
"Well, actually, creepy tricks are only half of it," Peter said, then he clapped his hands together and rubbed them excitedly, "In fact, I actually had something planned for all those kids we saved in honor of Halloween. See I bought like a ton of- well, you'll see. Rocket, here's what I was thinking. . ."
Some time later, the Star Children were all told to head out into the streets of Knowhere in front of Guardians HQ for some fun. However, what the fun entailed was kept very vague. When Peter saw that the kids were all ready, he gave the signal to Rocket. The raccoon nodded back, and with an eager smirk, he hit the play button on the Zune which was once again hooked up to speakers set up outside the HQ.
After the drum beats of "Monster Mash" played, Rocket proceeded to hit another button on a remote in his opposite hand. Air cannons set up in high places then began to fire their sweet payloads of Earth candy, courtesy of the Legendary Star Lord. Of course, Rocket had set up the timings of the cannons just right, so as to treat the children to several minutes of continuous candy rain.
Squeals of delight and gleeful laughter ran through Knowhere as children caught as much candy as they could while hopping, bopping, and dancing to the beat.
Rocket chuckled as he walked over to the rest of his family and sat down next to Peter, who was munching on a few "extra" Reese's cups.
"Happy Halloween, Quill," Rocket said with an exaggerated wink.
Peter smiled and offered Rocket a large bag of assorted candy.
When Rocket took the bag, Adam walked over and said, "I want some too."
"You'll get some when I'm done with it," Rocket replied as he dug through the bag.
"You'll take all the good ones," Adam complained.
"Well, yeah. Exactly," Rocket replied casually.
"I want fairness," Adam complained as he reached for the bag.
"I want candy!" Phyla cut in as she went for the bag as well.
"I am Groot!"
"Tough! Ya gotta catch me!" Rocket said as he took off holding the bag.
Drax laughed uproariously, which was clearly infectious to both Peter, Kraglin, and even Cosmo who howled joyously.
Nebula shook her head, but more out of amusement than disapproval, as there was a smile on her face as well. "Happy Halloween, indeed," she said.
The End
Alright Guardians! Favorite Halloween candies! Go!
Peter Quill: "Reese's peanut butter cups. Obviously. That's literally just the right answer."
Rocket Raccoon: "Well, I can't eat chocolate, so I guess Candy Corn. . . What? What's everyone lookin' at me for?"
Drax: "Warheads. I will not settle for anything less."
Nebula: "Hershey's Special Dark miniatures. They at least have some depth to them."
Kraglin: "I'll gladly take those Kit-Kats off of anyone who doesn't want them. Heck, I'll trade for 'em."
Cosmo: "Are there any peanut butter treats in that bag?"
Adam Warlock: "I will have the Starbursts."
Phyla: "M&M's. All of them. Doesn't matter what kind."
Groot: "I am Groot." (Rocket: "Reese's Pieces? Really? Okay. . .")