Chapter 9: Feriens Tego

"I can't take it anymore! Could everyone just chill out for two seconds before something crazy happens again?"

— 16 —

It was a thing like sex. Sometimes after politely getting into her pants you find the only place to put your hands is around her neck and strangle her.

We were screwing the White Fang tonight like one of my old Tinder matches. The only difference is ours was the long dong of the law. Although like Tinder, I was probably going to wind up blocking the White Fang's number on my phone because she was a clingy weirdo. Unlike Tinder though, said clingy weirdo wasn't asking to be choked out again.

Shamrock née Shadow Person was going around back to block their escape. Naturally she left the coffee shop first. Blake and Weiss were going to go in right after the White Fang once they made their move. That left me with, like, cheerleading or something. Which I could do. I'm pretty sure I could rip up some napkins and turn them into pom-poms.

If only that'd actually earn me any good boy points from the rest of my team. I'd gotten them out here so far. I had to prove I wasn't just some useless addict. Respect is earned.

Which left me one course of action.

"Where are you doing?" Blake said, grabbing my arm to keep me from leaving the coffee house.

"I'm going to engage in some consumer grazing in the dust shop," I said.

She stared. "You're just gonna go in the front? Where everyone can see you?"

I shrugged. "Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm strong enough to scare them off on my lonesome."

Weiss suppressed a chuckle.

"I'll be inside waiting to hit 'em from one side. They might go after me, but that means they won't be focusing on the rest of y'all, dig?"

Blake let go, an unhappy look on her face. "You're an idiot."

"Thanks, me too," I said.

On some level I knew I should be more concerned for my safety. I had no defensive aura, but what I did have was armor and a shield. That wouldn't have meant anything if not for the strange physics at work here on Remnant, not that I fully understood it. Even light materials could stop bullets. It was inconsistent. I half-believed it was tied in to how badly you wanted something to work.

In hindsight maybe that's the key. Believe your own bullshit and Remnant will bend at the corners to make things more awesome.

Bullets moved slow enough you could swing a sword to block them. The human body could take a hell of a lot more blunt force trauma. More damage in general. The wound that beowolf had given me in the Emerald forest should have gutted me dead, but it was healing surprisingly well.

"Welcome to Eishundo's Established Particles," the young clerk behind the front counter said as I entered. "Not too long til closing, so mind that. They don't pay overtime here." He laughed.

Something about the store reminded me of a candy shop, possibly all the bright, primary colors. Wooden shelves formed the aisles, wherein Dust came in canisters, vials, and brown leather satchels. Pipes along the rear wall and beside the front counter piped around Dust. Someone had gone a little crazy putting up "No smoking!" signs around the store.

I sucked in a sharp breath. "Damn. Yeah, I been there too, brother. I'll be quick. Looking for some Dust rounds. You got anything in .500 S&W?"

The clerk whistled. "We sell Dust, not ammo. Go to a big Schnee place if you want 'em together. But we got a reloading bench at the back." He thumbed to his left, watching me.

"What kind of Dust you got?" I asked, looking through the aisles.

He looked at me like I'd just desperately offered him money in exchange for confirming that the sky was blue for me. "The dusty kind. What kinda question is that?"

I looked over a wooden shelf at him, imploring him on.

The man sighed, rolling his lavender eyes. "Normal non-industrial stuff. Earth, air, fire, water, lightning, ice, steam, gravity."

Wait, gravity? That wasn't just a joke from that Chibi episode?

"What's gravity do?" I asked.

"Are you from corporate?" he asked in a blank voice. "Some surprise inspection to make sure I'm actually doing my job? Because I can go over all the ways to use Dust, maintain it, mix-and-match for effect. Whatever. Just out with it."

The door jingled before I could reply. I caught sight of several figures in dark hoodies and I ducked down into the aisle.

"Oh, uh, welcome to Eishundo's Established Particles," the Clerk said, re-adjusting himself to the newcomers.

The White Fang didn't immediately reply. From the sounds of their boots, they were spreading out.

"Let's break a leg and beat our old record this time, hm?" a girl said pleasantly. The fox faunus from the video. "Get that kid first. Same mistakes twice and all that."

Well shit. She must've meant the thing with Roman and Ruby. I hated it when bad guys learned from their mistakes.

Hey, backup, where were you?

"Uh, who the hell," the clerk tried, only to make a gagging sound and stop.

"That's who," the girl said. "Now. Huntsman. Pronto."

My eyes scanned my surroundings, wondering how I could make a distraction. Some way to buy myself a little extra time. Wait for Weiss and Blake to storm in and catch the Fang by surprise,

The bitter voice of a little blond in green I once knew echoed in my head. If you don't want to be a hero, why are you even here? She'd had one hell of a hand in teaching me hand-to-hand.

I compressed a breath and grabbed my sheath. I counted the seconds between the steps coming towards me. Judged how wide his steps were. And put my entire body into swinging the sheathed sword half-sword style.

The masked man stepped into view in time for the sheath to bash him across the nose. He grunted hard. The gun in his right hand fired into the shelf behind me. I swung down in an arc to the weapon and ripped it from his grasp.

A breech-action shotgun clicked closed. I whirled to see a man at other side of the aisle aiming my way. The inertia from my sudden stop threw from my sheath and pegged him in the chest. He flinched and fired. The buckshot ripped into the shelves. Color exploded. The shockwaves sent me flying backwards across the ground into the far wall.

It felt off to me. Like I was in a fugue state, watching myself in fast-forward. I wasn't in as much pain as I thought I'd be. Didn't even think the blinding Dust cookoff had so much as popped my ears.

It's just the sleeve, I thought. It didn't feel native to my head. You're not special. This is normal here.

Compressed air to my left. I jerked my arm on reflex. A clawed gauntlet attached to ropes hit my arm with bone-rattling force, hard enough to create little shockwaves in the air. They sunk into my metal bracer and pulled. The tendons holding my arm in the socket strained audibly. I tumbled across the ground towards the front of the store, barely able to see through the Dust in the air.

With a jerk I undid the bracer straps. The force of the motion shot me end-over-end into dust-lined shelves.

"Look, no offense, but if you could die, that'd be great!" the fox girl said as the clawed gauntlets clicked back over her hands. She spun like a dancer. The compressed air of the gauntlets rocketed them at me.

I drew XO and fired point-blank into the Dust shelf. My world turned into a rainbow of force, rocketing me down the aisles. I banged my sheath against the ground. It expanded into a full kite. I dug the bottom edge into the floor and screeched to a halt. I couldn't see fox-girl senpai through the cloud, some of which still streaked off my clothes.

Jesus Christ had that just worked? I didn't know what possessed me to explode point-blank. It shoulda killed me. But I just felt a little burnt around the edges for my efforts.

"Guys, we gotta go!" a Fanger shouted from the back of the store, gesturing for those who could see him to follow. "Cops are just down the road!"

Two faunus looked at each other, then sprinted for the door.

"Wait, what?" fox girl shouted.

Her minions ground to a halt and looked back towards her voice. Which gave the guy by the door the time to swing his halbert like a quarterstaff. It hit one man and sent him careering into his teammate. They flew across the store into the wall. Neither ot back up after hitting the floor.

Hi there, Shamrock. Neat trick ya got.

Shamrock glanced my way. I couldn't read his face under that Grimm mask.

Steel clanged from the front of the store. Automatic rifle fire followed.

"No, no, no!" Foxy shouted. "Four of you?"

Took everyone long enough!

I sat up and sighed, wiping specs of Dust and ash from my face. I didn't even pretend like I understood the ash. Nor those visible force shockwaves. Stuff I had to get used to. Like learning how to probably fight in this place. Play by its crazy rules.

Go now, there are other worlds than these!

Thanks a lot, Jake Chambers.

My arm was sore. This was the rest of team BASS' fight now.

The cold steel of a double-barreled shotgun pressed up against the back of my head. "Hands up, kid. Drop the gun. Good. And on your feet. Slowly."

My sigh turned into a cough. "You think if I die here, I'll return to Oz next? Always wanted to meet the Tin Man."

"Ain't funny, kid. Now move. To your right." He pressed the barrel in the way he wanted to herd me. I siddled in the direction, not turning to face him.

We came out from the aisle and I could see Foxy and two of her goons struggling to keep up with the rest of my team at the front of the store. The store clerk was cowering behind his counter beside it all.

"Everyone freeze or blondie gets it!" the man behind me bellowed.

Weiss and Blake slid to a halt. Shamrock froze, perched atop a shelf with sword and shield in his hands.

Foxy got up onto her hands and knees and laughed. "Okay. Wow. Yeah. This works. I like this. Yeah!" She sniffed hard and stood. Her left gauntlet lay shattered on the ground. She gave Weiss a wary look, then darted in to grab it from near her feet.

Blake grit her teeth at me of all people. Like this was my fault.

"Okay, we gotta get to the roof, guys," Foxy said. "No way the cops didn't hear this."

"He only has one shell left in the gun," I said in a tired voice.

The man jabbed my head with the shogun. "I ain't playing with you, kid!"

"Go ahead. Shoot me," I said. "There's only two ways that'll end, and in both of them y'all gonna get your dicks stomped and your pussies pumped."

Weiss winced, hissing in through her teeth. But screw her. I didn't see her doing one-liners.

"I said shut it!" he barked.

"No, he's got a point," Foxy said. Pneumatic hiss. Her working gauntlet hit my throat hard enough it shoved me to the ground. I fell down choking, grabbing at my throat. Her gauntlet tightened around my throat.

"There we go," she said happily. Her glove retracted and dragged me across the floor to her like a retracting leash. "Don't need bullets to claw a kid's throat out, do we?"

"You wouldn't," Weiss said, glaring Foxy down.

"That depends, sugar. You gonna follow us?"

"They can't beat us in a fight," Blake said.

"No," Foxy said, nodding. She hauled me to my feet. "But we can still kill him."

I flipped her off. No one seemed to notice.

I don't suppose this is when I can finally figure out my aura, is it?

No?

No.

Metal clicked. Back to looking like Mad Moxxi, Shamrock had formed her gear back up into a halberd. She brought it down between me and Foxy.

"Boop," she said as she cut the line.

Without me to counterbalance, Foxy tumbled backwards. Weiss gestured and a 2D fractal pattern appeared behind Foxy. I launched a fist at her face, barely conscious of the roaring shotgun behind me.

Don't punch someone. Punch through them.

Buckshot slammed into the armor of my chest and shoulder. The force boosted my fist into Foxy's face with one of those visible shockwaves. Hard enough to make my whole arm go numb. Her head snapped back against the fractal pattern and bounced her onto the store's front counter.

I spun towards the shotgunner, barely aware of the blood the spin splashed at him. Shamrock slammed her aegis over his head. He doubled over, and she kneed him right in the balls. He collapsed into a coughing fit.

Back to Foxy. I pulled the gauntlet off my throat and sucked in a breath. The faunus was groaning, pressing her hands against the counter to lift herself from it. I grabbed her tight by the hair and lifted. Blood ran down my arm and into her curly red lockes.

Funny. I saw the tears in my clothing and the bloody furrows more than I felt anything.

Didn't matter.

I raised her head and slammed her down face first onto the angle of the counter. And again. And again. Hard as I could. Her mask cracked.

"Jaune!" Blake shouted.

I met her eyes. Weiss had Dust-frozen one of the faunus to the ground, and Blake had done something to KO the other Fanger she'd been fighting. Everything was over.

"That's. Enough," she commanded, a sharp edge to her voice.

I looked back at Foxy. Shrugged. Tossed her away from the counter.

"Bye, Felicia," I said in a tired voice.

I wasn't sure how much of the blood was hers and how much was mine. My left arm smarted from when Foxy had nearly torn it off, my right arm was soaking up blood, and my neck felt like I'd aborted a suicide.

I reached down into Foxy's pocket to loot the pack of kretek clove cigarettes and torch lighter from her vest. This brand didn't use ignition patches. I lit up, stashed my goods in the Fanny Pack of Justice, and slid down the front counter with closed eyes and a smile on my face.

"Oh my," I said with a dreamy sigh. "What a wonderful time."

Distant sirens. A soft hum of engines above the store.

"That's their getaway," Blake said. "We need to find the stairs!"

"What about making sure they don't get up and escape?" Weiss asked

Eyes still closed, I reached into my fanny pack and tossed several zip ties onto the floor. "There."

Weiss made a noise. "Why do you have those?"

I puffed my kretek. "I'm into some kinky shit."

"You two go up," Shamrock said. "I can tie 'em up fast."

Netflix No-Chill and Mittens raced off. Shamrock collected the plastic ties from me and wasted no time.

I sat there, rested, and ashed my cigarette on a broken no smoking sign.

At least until the people from Beacon came to fetch me.

a/n: In a way, this chapter is like a breather despite most of it being explosives and punches. At least Jaune d'Arc got to pretend like he helped while learning how to better operate under this word's combat physics. A small victory gained, yes,, but more importantly is how this is inevitably gonna backfire.

Don't forget to check out the other RWBY fic I'm doing, A More Flawed Gem! It's not quite as terrible as this. It features, uh, Cards from chapter 5 as a main character. And Pyrrha losing her sanity.