Lost in Translation

Eye-contacts with this man are dangerous. They make me forget where I am.

A/N: Little time-skip which I feel is justified.

Sure enough, I see Sasuke that Wednesday again during Business Japanese and walk up to him with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that day," I begin and scratch the back of my head in embarrassment.

"Hey it's okay!" Sasuke says, placing a hand on my shoulder for a second. He smiles at me and it's genuine and very much Sasuke, so I smile back and pull out the chair next to him and begin to pull out my books for the class. Although his demeanor is just like before, I still have this desperate wish to confirm it.

"Can we try to study again? Can you…can you teach me Japanese again?" I ask Sasuke making my best puppy face and his face automatically blooms into a smile.

"Of course!" he says sounding genuinely interested and I smile back in relief. I don't want to lose a friend I've come to cherish so much in this little time.

"Is Friday okay with you?" I text him when the teacher starts meting out some random piece of information in the class.

He turns to regard me for a second but then he begins typing:

"Friday, I work my part-time job. How about Saturday? We could go to Itachi's store, what say?"

Itachi's store!

My blood runs hot and cold at the prospect of seeing him again. Since last week's dinner, I've tried very hard to overcome the surge of emotions that rises when I think of that man. Deep inside, a part of me knows he's unattainable so just why, why can't the rest of me, follow suit?

I look down at my phone and with sheer power of will manage to type out "Sounds great!" as normally as I can.

Sasuke nods in acknowledgment and we turn towards the front where the professor is still comparing body language between Japan and Italy.

The rest of the week goes in assignments and hanging out with my friends. I spend every free second trying to solve the Kiyo mystery. But every time, I try to delve deeper into deciphering who it could be, my brain begins creating scenarios that are far too scary to ponder upon. As a result, I've tried to drown out the various hypothesis that swarm my brain, put on my ear buds, and lost myself in some classical rock music I like so much.

On Saturday, Sasuke and I have planned to meet up in front of the store at five. I arrive at half-past four and pace around the side of the shop for a good fifteen minutes purely to prevent myself from leaping in. Fifteen minutes later, my mind gives up and I race towards the store. The glass doors part as if welcoming my presence and Itachi is there, right behind his counter, going through another set of papers. He welcomes me without looking up but when I just walk up straight to the counter, he looks up. Unlike all our previous encounters, he smiles at me, nice and genuine and my heart comes unhinged again. He is wearing black rimmed glasses and though they look sexy on him, they hide his eyes.

"Hi!" I greet in English, grinning from ear-to-ear because I can't help it. Every cell in my body is vibrating with so much energy, it feels like my body is singing.

"Hi!" he greets back in English too, which just makes my impossibly huge grin grow wider. He puts aside the bundle of paper he's holding in his hands and stands up. He's tall in comparison to my 6'2 and I find the slight height difference so endearing; my heart could explode. I pull out a warm can of Georgia coffee, I specifically purchased for him and hand it over. He smiles and thanks me for the drink and I can't help but bite the inside of my cheek to prevent grinning like a loon as our fingers touch during the exchange. But just like all good things, Itachi withdraws his hand a little too quickly and places the bottle on the counter. His head looks so tiny and cute that I want to bend down and place a tiny kiss on it. He looks up at me again and I hate that his eyes are hidden.

"You're wearing glasses today," I exclaim. I don't know why but my mouth develops a mind of its own.

He nods, his smile diminishing a little. "I couldn't find a contact lens this morning and so…" his eyebrows furrow when he looks at me, as if surprised by his own explanation.

"I hope you find it soon," my brain is desperately urging my mouth to stop.

Itachi stares at me through his glasses. "Yeah?" he says.

My mind pleads helplessly with my teeth to glue themselves together to avoid further mortification. My cheeks are on fire. "It's a pity that these glasses hide your eyes."

I look back at him, right past the lenses, all the way into large midnight orbs. His eyes are truly beautiful. They have the power to hold me captive, as if hypnotized.

Itachi's eyes don't move from my face. He continues to stare at me. "Why?" he whispers, his gaze still fixed on mine.

I don't know what answer this question is seeking. "They're enigmatic, just like you,"

My heart thuds wildly in my chest. My fist unclenches and unclenches near my knee. My eyes bore into his, waiting to see the change, the recognition but his eyes stay the same molten pools of onyx that give nothing away. He clears his throat and averts his eyes. "Thank you."

I'm so engrossed in that headiness of the moment that I don't see or hear Sasuke come in till he taps me playfully on the shoulder. "Hey," he says. I bump fists with him almost absently, my mind extremely preoccupied with what just transpired. Itachi watches the whole exchange with a fixed smile on his face, and I can't help but offer my fist to him too. He eyes my hand and then looks up at me. Everything that transpired a second before Sasuke's arrival still runs like wildfire in my chest. But he doesn't have a trace of it on his face. Itachi grins as he bumps his fist with mine after a moment's hesitation and I return his grin, knowing it was totally worth it.

Sasuke and I go on to occupy the same set of sofas, we'd used the last time. I offer the second can of coffee I'd brought for him, and he takes it gratefully, opening it to take a sip while I pull out my books and reference material for the session. "I revised most of what you taught me, but I still have doubts regarding the usage of a couple of sentence patterns. I Googled them for clarity, but I still can't figure them out." Sasuke nods as I open my notebook and show him the problematic patterns that have been driving me nuts.

Sasuke leans forward and starts explaining. But everything he's saying is not much different from what he said the last time we were here, so it's not helping me at all. All the interjections I've made during our conversation today have been rejected by Sasuke who I can see is getting a little frustrated. Sasuke even Googles the whole thing once again to find a site which can be useful for providing references or example sentences. After splitting hairs for half an hour, Sasuke finally stands up, stomps up to the counter where Itachi's head is still charmingly bent over his paperwork and unceremoniously thrusts the book at him. The loose ponytail bobs slightly as Itachi looks up at his brother.

"Help us," he says. He sounds surprisingly like an annoyed child throwing a tantrum and it makes me chuckle in astonishment. I make my way up to the counter too to stand beside Sasuke. We wait patiently as Itachi takes the book from Sasuke's hand and studies the page.

"What is the problem?" he asks, once his eyes have darted across the page at a speed, I can only wish I could read Japanese in too.

"The problem is that there are many sentences that look like they are intransitive in nature when the verb used is transitive," I explain, my ears turning red.

"All you've got to do is think about the intention. Actions carried out intentionally are transitive and vice versa." Itachi says and my eyes light up in understanding. "In this case," he says, pointing to a sentence, "The subject is placing an object on the table. Do you think that's intentional?" he asks me. When I nod, he nods too, a small smile forming on his face, "That makes it a transitive sentence," he says and the concept which has been plaguing me since the first year I began studying Japanese, has now been simplified so easily that I want to laugh at how utterly stupid I must seem to the two of them.

"Naruto-kun, are transitive verbs and intransitive verbs clear to you now?" Sasuke asks, studying my face.

"Yeah, I think I'm beginning to get the hang of it," I say, nodding fervently. "I guess the more I use them, the clearer they'll become?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at them and they both nod at me.

"Thanks, Itachi-san!" I say, smiling at him in gratitude. Itachi waves a dismissive hand and looks slightly embarrassed. He sits down as we both turn to resume our positions on the sofa once again.

"When he was in college, Itachi would tutor high school kids who were taking the entrance exam." Sasuke says, his voice laced with immense pride.

"Is that why, how should I put it, he seems so…natural at teaching?" I ask. "I understood this frustrating concept in one try!" I say, ecstatic beyond thought.

Sasuke nods. "He's very good. Especially in Japanese and Mathematics. He tutored me too. It was hell, though!" he laughs at the memory but the pride is evident.

I know Sasuke is very fond of his brother and that they're very close. But it irks me that while he's so comfortable talking about Itachi in this way, yet why is it that they're both so obscure about someone called Kiyo? Is it because he's someone I've never met? Is he a boyfriend? My chest tightens miserably.

Sasuke asks if we should resume and instantly, I put away all foreboding thoughts to focus on the next set of issues.

Ten minutes later, we are back to square one. I'm arguing with him about some terms in polite language and Sasuke's hands are frantically upsetting his spiky hair in restrained agitation. "This word is used by the speaker to show humility when he talks about himself, while the other word is used by the speaker to show respect when he's referring to the other person."

"But why can't we use the word for humility to show respect?" I counter, taking a pencil and circling two terms that mean the bloody same thing, but are not synonymous.

"Because Naruto-kun, humility and respect are not the same things!" Sasuke says, tapping on the book with the most obvious look on his face.

"Fine, I get that. I know that. But what if I forget the word being used to show respect and end up saying the word for humility?" I ask, sounding like someone with an IQ in negatives. Today is just not my day. When I think about what Itachi must think of me right now, my mood worsens considerably.

"Then the person who's listening to you would probably fidget an inch or laugh it off thinking you forgot," Itachi says, walking up to our table. He places two bottles of water and studies the page. "Maybe he won't react at all!"

"But won't that make me sound like an ass?" I ask him.

Itachi nods. "And that's why, you've got to learn them in pairs."

I look down at the book again and take a second to let that sink in. "That's it?" I ask, finally.

"Well, learning a language is highly dependent on its usage, so from now, you could start talking to us in super polite Japanese," Sasuke says smirking as he crosses his arms across his chest and looks at me in mock high-handedness.

"You wish!" I chuckle, throwing my eraser at him. He catches it with unexpected deftness and laughs.

"Or you could talk to Itachi in polite Japanese. He looks like an old man anyway," Sasuke says, throwing the eraser at his brother who catches it perfectly too before flicking Sasuke on the forehead.

Itachi looks at me for a moment. "Should we do that huh, Naruto-kun? You could call me Itachi-sama or Uchiha-sama." He pauses for a second in thought before grinning without being self-conscious, making my heart flutter.

"Has someone called you that before?" I ask as my heart thuds in my chest with the opportunity I've been provided.

"I think no one's ever called me that before," he answers with that nice smile, gently placing the eraser back on the table.

I could call you that every day for the rest of our lives.

"Should I do that, Itachi-sama?" I ask, raising a playful eyebrow at him.

He surprises me when a pink tinge blooms across his cheeks. I expected him to chuckle good-naturedly and shake his head. "That was a joke," he sounds self-conscious now. I nod, my own cheeks on fire. The feeling that I feel for him quadruples at that. I want nothing more than to hug him and call him Itachi-sama once more just to tease him.

"It's decided then," Sasuke says, rubbing a finger on his chin. "You speak standard and casual Japanese with me and save the formal Japanese for my brother,"

I share a look with Itachi. After what just transpired, Itachi shouldn't look too comfortable with the prospect of having me blab something unexpected or embarrassing. But when he nods, something akin to hope flairs in my chest. This is my chance to spend more time with him.

"Cool! How about we meet twice a week to converse?" I ask Itachi unabashedly. It sounds too pompous and assuming. "If that is okay with you," I throw in hastily. Itachi merely nods his consent.

"You and I can meet up whenever you're free and hang out," I say casually to Sasuke, returning Sasuke's grin.

Sasuke waves his hand airily. "Of course!" he says.

With that settled, I invite Itachi to sit with us if he's free and listen in. Itachi takes one glance towards the glass doors, shrugs and pulls a chair from a corner and drags it to sit beside me. The fabric of his black shirt brushes against my arm and the hairs on my arm come alive at once. I feel the prickling all the way to my nipples which perk up as if on alert of his presence.

There goes my focus, I think when not only my nipples, but another major problem awakens when Itachi brushes his heavy bangs off his face.

Today is definitely not my day!

Three months into my one-year scholarship, I think I've gotten much, much better at Japanese and dealing with Japanese people. Putting aside frequenting bookshops and cafes, I'm now a very frequent visitor of Itachi's shop. Aside from the one or two manga series that I've finished, my patronage has also proven fruitful to Itachi. I helped him sell a refrigerator to my friend Kiba and a bookshelf to this extremely nerdy guy Shino from my Literature class. Somehow, word got out about how I managed to get a super cheap bookshelf and now people walk up to me directly to enquire. I feel like a broker somehow. Itachi once jokingly asked me if I wanted some commission and we laughed about it for a while.

As for my formal Japanese classes with Itachi, though I'm not very confident about certain things but I think with Itachi's help, I'm getting better. He is an excellent teacher. Although he doesn't annoyingly interrupt me mid-sentence, his tone, however, gets very serious. He's got this super strict style that compels me to work harder in his lessons. I crave his acknowledgement, his compliments.

My crush has now blossomed into love. I'm convinced that it's what I feel for him. As if thoughts of him occupying my mind perpetually weren't enough, every text, every word I exchange with him makes my heart beat hard and fast. During my classes with him, I'm always on tenterhooks, trying to make him laugh or smile just because seeing him smile makes my chest ache with happiness. Every moment spent together with him feels like a blessing. Each time I see him, I feel a pang in my chest dreading the moment we'll part while each parting fills me with longing to see him again. He's so full of wit and warmth that I feel like he's my personal sun. And yet, and yet, I cannot come clean about my feelings, choosing instead to mask them behind my friendly grins, hoping he never notices. I don't think I could survive parting from him now.

It's Christmas season and while Tokyo is decorated in all its Christmas glory and screams festive season, our quaint little town's glitter is slightly toned down. It's still gorgeous and makes me smile. Our vacations have begun, and I've already made plans to visit a friend in Hokkaido. I cycle my way to Itachi's store where Sasuke, Itachi and I planned to meet up. I'm going to grab dinner with them and hand them their Christmas gifts.

I am putting the lock on my bike when I see Sasuke stopping beside me. He hops off and quickly gets to locking his bike. It takes him a moment and then we enter the shop together. Itachi looks up when the doors open. He smiles at both of us, giving a tiny wave. My heart, my blessed heart, skips a beat at that as I wave back at him.

"Hey," I say, walking up to the counter, Sasuke in tow.

Itachi puts down the book he's been reading, and I glance at it. The swarms of incomprehensible kanji characters make me would have made me dizzy at one point, but now I treat them like a challenge. I'm in the process of deciphering the characters when he pulls out a bookmark with what appears to be a childish drawing of sorts and sets it between the pages. The bookmark distracts me from my task, making me curious. I want to question him on the bookmark, but Sasuke taps me on my shoulder and signals for us to leave. We've already decided that tonight we are going to an Italian restaurant for dinner. The debate that proceeded this decision was intense and heated. Sasuke and I quickly step out of the store and patiently wait for Itachi to close. Once he's done, he steps out of the shop, bundled in a thick black coat and a matching scarf. He scrunches his nose at the cold before huddling his chin deeper into his scarf. He looks so cute it makes me want to kiss the tip of his nose. Since the restaurant is at a distance from the shop, we make our way towards where Itachi has parked his car.

Itachi gets in behind the wheel and Sasuke climbs into the passenger seat. I gladly take the seat behind Itachi, knowing that way I can ogle him to my heart's content along the ride. Sasuke turns up the heat and begins talking about an incident that occurred in one of his classes. His head turns towards the right as he looks at his brother then glances back at me. I force my eyes away from the rearview mirror and nod at him and laugh.

He laughs and turns to the front just as the car stops at the red light. He pulls out his phone and begins to do something. My eyes return to the mirror and my breath catches in my throat when midnight eyes look back at me. My heart picks up pace, my pulse scurrying. After my glasses comment that day, I've constantly realized he's never worn his glasses again. That reminder only works to make my blood pound harder. His eyes have me under their spell. He doesn't look away, his eyes only boring into mine as if he can read every secret inside them. Panic flashes when I think he knows.

Sasuke taps him on the shoulder. Itachi visibly startles. "The light is green, Itachi." He looks at his brother funny. I turn around and sure enough sounds of the car beside us starting breaks the spell as Itachi turns the ignition and starts our car, his eyes moving lower. I lick my lips in nervousness under his gaze.

I should look away now but it's like my eyes are glued to his. He tsks slowly after a moment as he presses on the gas and we hit motion.

What the hell was that?

Sasuke pulls out his hands and rubs them together once we get out of the car. He comments on the weather and Itachi and I laugh in unison at the obviousness of the statement. At the restaurant, we are seated in a cozy corner, and I place myself strategically so that I'm sitting next to Itachi. We sit there for a minute silently, just warming ourselves when the waiter walks up to us. He is cute and maybe had it not been for the mesmerizing man seated next to me, I'd have hit on him. His name tag reads "Gaara" in katakana. He smiles at me as our eyes meet. They show interest but I'm too far gone for someone else, so I just smile back politely. Something in his green eyes shifts as if he got the message as they dim. He doles out the usual instructions in a monotonous way as if on autopilot and swiftly departs.

I turn to Sasuke to ask him something but he's looking at me, mildly annoyed. Without wanting to alarm Itachi I raise a quick eyebrow at him, but he just sulkily opens the menu and regards it impassively. Sasuke's confusing behavior irks me and sours my mood a bit. I stare dourly at the choices of meals and the wine they're serving. Itachi perks up suddenly, breaking the stony silence on the table as he casually remarks on the fact that the restaurant is serving corn potage. There's nothing amusing about it, save for Itachi's tone. He sounds like a kid who's spotted his favorite candy as he points it out in the menu and smiles at me. There is no way in hell that can prevent my mood from improving in a heartbeat as I smile back at him.

After seeing Itachi's excitement over the corn potage, Sasuke and I contagiously order the soup. The mood shifts considerably seeing as Sasuke is no longer shooting daggers at me or fuming at his menu and I think it is the best time to bust out their presents. I turn around and open my bag to pull out both their presents. They're neatly wrapped in boxes. They both are shocked when the presents are unceremoniously thrust at them, both going so far to redden slightly. But I'm giddy with happiness as I urge them to open their gifts.

For Sasuke, I bought this swanky USB keychain when I went to Kamakura last week with my friends. Choosing a present for Itachi, however, was more difficult. I wanted to gift him something personal but useful. Luckily, when I was at the mall in Shibuya, I chanced upon a pair of gloves that would suit him just right. They are black and cashmere wool and cost me a small fortune, but I think they're perfect for him.

Sasuke lets out a low whistle when he sees the keychain. I know how much he hates the idea of cloud storage and has been constantly moaning and groaning about losing his USB drives, so this gift was perfect for him. The USB comes with this very cool Swiss Army knife, and I can see how much Sasuke likes it when he immediately brings out his keys and attaches it to them.

My heart picks up speed when I watch Itachi carefully opening the wrapping paper of his rectangular box. He sets it aside to open his box to reveal the gloves, nestled neatly in a bed of tissue. He takes them out and examines them, gasping when he realizes the material is cashmere. My heart sinks when his gaze meets mine. I know he's going to refuse them even before he opens his mouth to say the words.

"Will you really refuse something I worked so hard to find?" I ask him before he can get a word in.

Itachi's brows are a storm as they furrow at me. "These are too expensive, Naruto-kun! I can't accept them!" he says, placing them with the gentleness of a newborn baby back in the box before closing it and sliding it across the table towards me.

I look at Sasuke for backup, but he too seems a little slack-jawed at the extravagance of the gift. I sigh, more in resignation than in defeat. "It's not just a Christmas gift," I begin, choosing my words as carefully as I can. "It's a thank you for all the times you've helped me." Itachi opens his mouth again to argue some more but I put up a hand. "Besides, isn't it considered rude to reject someone's present, Itachi-san?" I throw in my trump card and watch with immense satisfaction as Itachi deflates considerably. As nicely as I can, I push the present back towards Itachi who wordlessly places it aside as Gaara chooses that moment to bring us the potage.

The potage, as bland and sweet as it may be, seems to work its magic because Itachi takes a couple of sips and sighs in warmth and happiness. Sasuke, though silent at first, eats some of his soup and opens a discussion on the plans for the holidays. Despite having heard it before, Itachi shows the same level of interest in listening to my plans to visit my friend in Hokkaido over the vacations. Sasuke comments on how visiting in February would be better since the famous Snow Festival is held then. I nod and very flippantly tell him I could just go again. They both nod, marking an end to me getting interrogated. I ask them their plans instead.

Sasuke musters up a morose look and wails about having to work part-time on Christmas. New Years, however, they've planned to spend at their parents' house. I love the idea already, picturing them lazing around the kotatsu while eating mandarins and left-over food. I ask them if they plan to visit the shrine at midnight and they both smile at each other before telling me it is somewhat of an Uchiha custom.

But regardless of the slight dampening of his plans, throughout the meal, Sasuke keeps us entertained with his New Year's stories from childhood, throwing in a couple of anecdotes that involve his elder brother and before I know it, I'm grinning ear-to-ear imagining a pre-teen Itachi playfully flicking his younger brother on the forehead and being incessantly annoying.

By the time we come to the end of our meal, a part of me is beginning to regret making plans to Hokkaido. Maybe then I could have been a part of this celebration too. I turn towards Itachi who's smiling as if he's reminiscing the memories and the taste of the white wine in my mouth just turns slightly bitter.

After we're done paying, Sasuke insists we go to a bar. And it only takes about five minutes of continuous groveling before we walk down to the nearest one. The bar is small but by no means is it quiet. It's brimming to the neck with patrons and I'm wondering if we'll even get seats when Sasuke tugs at my arm and leads me upstairs towards a relatively quiet corner. Once we're seated in a dimly lit booth and the beer, we ordered downstairs is served, I can't help but be amazed by the size of the crowd in this tiny place. Salarymen, dressed in their black coats and white shirts have taken up every little nook and cranny downstairs. There is some drinking party being held and I watch in mild fascination as this one red-cheeked newbie downs drinks one after the other in quick succession.

"Will he be alright?" I ask, nodding towards him as his head tilts slightly but continues to bow at the man who I can only assume is his boss. The man pats him on the back and pours him another drink which he throws back in one gulp. The whole scenario makes me wince.

Sasuke and Itachi both wave airily. "It's our superpower. We drink till the wee hours of the morning and can still be up on time for office," Sasuke says, winking cheekily.

How can this ever impress someone? "Isn't this something like power harassment?" I don't mean to sound reproaching or harsh but the scene in front of me is not sitting well with me.

"That's debatable," Itachi quips as he takes a huge sip of his beer. "You can look at the newbie and consider this harassment or you could look at his superior and think of traditions that have always existed." I look at him sharply as he puts down his mug. "I mean, look at us. Sasuke dragged us here after continuous begging and here we are drinking of our own volition. Would you call this power harassment?"

"Hey-!" Sasuke protests immediately but Itachi just nudges him with his elbow.

Maybe the beer has got to me because the whole argument suddenly seems absurd, and I let out a low chuckle. I put up my hands in defense. "Touché," is all I can say.

"I'm not saying I condone their actions, but people do what they think is right in their prerogative," is all he says, finishing his beer. That marks the end of this topic and while the conversation veers off to another topic, I promise myself to never bring up societal problems again in front of Itachi.

Sometime after our third beer, Sasuke excuses himself to go to the toilet, giving me this amazing opportunity to admire the man in front of me. Itachi mumbles something in a low voice. He doesn't look up at me but continues holding his beer mug, wiping down the condensation on the glass with a slender finger.

I don't say anything. My mind is taking its sweet time to process Itachi's words, being so busy in just drinking the man in. Itachi's shoulders straighten, and he turns to regard me. There is a thick lock of his hair fallen across his face and the moment his eyes meet mine, the world narrows in on him again. As natural as breathing, my hand lifts and my fingers brush the lock of hair aside, tracing every inch of his face with my eyes, my fingers run right down to the ear I tuck the hair behind. I don't realize the gravity or impulsiveness of my action till my eyes meet Itachi's again. Gone is the gentleness and the friendly warmth I've seen in them. Instead, they are now deep, dark pools of onyx as they stare at me.

My blood pounds in my veins. If he wants, he can push my hand away. But he just stares at me, speechless. His eyes move down to my mouth. It parts in response. Every nerve of me is attuned to this man. His tongue sneaks out a second later to moisten his lips. My head bends in an unconscious call. My mouth dries with anticipation for what's to come. His exhale is the gentlest reminder of how close we are. His mouth parts and my mouth moves closer, till we're a hairsbreadth apart.

A noise startles us both and reality comes crashing in.

I sober up in a second. I can feel the heat radiating from my ears, spreading across my face making it seem like it's on fire. The dim lights are my only saving grace as I muster up my foreigner smile and pretend to be as nonchalant as I can. "You were saying," I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.

His eyes rest on my face a second more, with all surprise but a second later, he shakes his head and looks away. "Nothing," he mutters and tsks, finishing his drink just as Sasuke returns from the bathroom, a silly grin on his face.

"That felt good!" Sasuke exclaims, sitting back down on his seat and picking up his mug.

My heart thuds madly in my chest. My brain is spinning in a tizzy just thinking about what Itachi is going to do or say next. I'm convinced he's going to get up and rush out of here immediately never to look or talk to me again. Every inch of me is at attention, waiting for the man in front of me to say or do something. But he does nothing. Instead, we order one more beer each, continue trading stories and finally head off to our respective destinations once we've had our fill of alcohol.

His actions or lack thereof; have left me with questions I could have never dared to ask myself. There is something akin to hope rising in my belly and with every pounding of my heart, I fight the urge to let it grow and blossom. Keeping my one-sided feelings for him aside, there are too many variables for this to become something more than friendship. Moreover, the fear of losing him permanently from my life weighs so heavy in my heart that the courage to throw caution to the wind never rises.

There's only one thought that plays continuously in my mind. I almost kissed him. But that's not what drives me insane with hope.

He made no move to stop me.

Reviews would be lovely!