Roman is pretty good at lying, and he's had a lot of practice in the last couple of days. Did I even make contact? Uh, what are we even talking about? Did you get jerked off by your personal trainer? Uh, nope. Do you know anything about a face tattoo? Not that I can recall.
The best thing about being a frequent liar is that, on the few occasions that he does tell the absolute truth, no one believes him.
When his mother makes the offer that his father can either give her the Summer Palace or let his kids spend Christmas in England, he already knows what the answer will be.
"That's all she wants?" says his father suspiciously on the phone. "For you three to spend Christmas with her?"
"Well, that and 20 million dollars."
Logan brushes that off. "She can have you for Christmas. And she'll definitely support us against Sandy and Stewy?"
"Yup," says Roman, resigned to being traded off by his parents as part of a business deal.
"That's good. You did well, son." Despite himself Roman feels a surge of joy at his father's approval.
"Thanks Dad."
"I've got to make some other calls. Speak to you soon."
"Sure. Bye."
"How was your father?" Caroline asks, sticking her head in the room as soon as he ends the call.
"He agreed to your terms. 20 mill plus Christmas."
"Excellent." She smiles widely, coming to stand in front of him.
"Do you even want to spend Christmas with us, or is this just about getting back at him?"
"Of course I want you here." She looks genuinely hurt, reaching out to touch his face. "You can bring Tabitha if you like."
"Mom, it's two months away. We'll have broken up by then."
"Don't be so defeatist."
"No, it's fine. I'm in a weird phone sex relationship with Gerri now, so it's all good."
"You do say the funniest things." Caroline smiles. "Is your brother alright? He seems a bit down."
"Yeah, he's fine. Maybe I'll go and join him in the pub. We can start a fight over football, like proper Englishmen."
"That's my boy." She pinches his cheek and leaves him to ponder why he has mommy issues.