Pennywise stared through the window of his fast food restauraunt. His rival, ronald mcdonald, who owns the mcdonalds across the street, was opening up his doors for the morning. They were both competitors in this city-wide battle.
"I hope he loses," Pennywise said, as though the words were being whispered into his ear by the gods themselves.
Ronald didn't even notice that his competitor was staring at him. He just kept on working. "Morning, folks! Want some breakfast?" Ronald asked from behind the counter of his restaurant.
Pennywise entered Ronald's restaraunt in a disguise, hoping he wouldn't notice him. "Yes, I'd like your finest hamburger please." Pennywise said. The only way to fool Ronald was with a disguise; Ronald could've spotted him otherwise from miles away.
"Okay!" Ronald said happily after hearing that. He then placed the hamburger on the plate, along with fries, and a drink. "Thank you kindly." Said pennywise, smirking because his disguise worked.
The other customers in the restaraunt also noticed the strange new customer. "Who is that man?" One asked the others. All of them looked at the man suspiciously.
"He looks like a criminal or something."
Pennywise looked at the customers gawking at him. "Don't mind me, just a normal citizen enjoying some of ronald's amazing cooking. I definitely don't own the rival store across the street." Pennywise said in a mocking tone.
Ronald didn't care what they thought of him. "Anyways, how about some more food? Or my special sauce?" Ronald asked. "Oh yes, the best sauce in the world!" Pennywise folded his fingers. "Yes my good man, some sauce! But I have a special request, I want only the oldest sauce you own, so be sure to check in the very back."
Ronald smiled. "Of course! Anything for such a fine person like yourself." Then he turned around and went to get the older sauce out of the fridge.
Pennywise watched Ronald until he was out of sight. "Finally... Thought that bitch would never leave." He muttered to himself. Pennywise pulled out a shard of glass from his pocket and smashed it. He then sprinkled it in the Mcdonald's burger before him. "This should run him out of business." He thought to himself.
When Ronald came back, he noticed Pennywise in a tizzy. He was standing on top of the restaurant table in front of a gathering crowd. "Look at what I found in my burger! And it's all because of that man!" He said, pointing a finger at Ronald.
A few customers gasped and some screamed. "Is there glass in everyone's food!?" One screamed. Everyone started to panic. Ronald quickly calmed them down. "Calm down everyone, I'm sure we can get to the bottom of this."
Ronald ordered his employees to do a full inspection of every meal. While this was happening, a very large and drunken man walked into the bar. It was Papawise, Pennywise's biological father.
"Hello, Ronald. How are ya doing?" Papawise asked. "I heard about this problem you're having with the competition across the street. That guy is messing everything up. He also happens to be my worthless clown son."
"Thanks, Papawise. I really appreciate your help. I'll tell you what, if I win the battle, then I'll give you the rights to the whole Mcdonalds franchise."
"Deal!" Papawise said, raising his glass, spilling it all over himself.
The employees were done examining everyone's food. "His burger is the only one with glass in it thankfully." One teenager said to Ronald. Ronald eyed the mysterious man suspiciously. "What's your name, stranger? You look familiar."
Pennywise started taking bites of the glass burger and narrowed his eyes. "Me? I'm nobody...Nobody!" Pennywise mumbled around his mouthful of glass.
"That won't stop me from looking into your case." Ronald said firmly. "Everyone leave this person alone, I need him checked out in private."
The people reluctantly left to take their burgers elsewhere. Now Ronald had to deal with the matter right here in the restaurant. "Get a sample of this glass." Ronald ordered one of the youngest members of the team to place into a small test tube.
Another employee brought in an expired box of water fountains that was next to the register. He claimed that the glass of water bottles broke when a customer used it, throwing shards everywhere.
"You see?" Pennywise protested, almost choked, but managed to make some sense. He began to cough in an attempt to clear the glass shards out of his lungs. "I find this unacceptable, I demand justice!"
Ronald looked at Pennywise sternly. "Are you ready to prove your story?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Then... What's your real name?" Ronald said sternly. "Tell me your real name, and start telling the truth, there's no second chances today."
"Now you listen here, Mister Ronald Mcdonald. If you think you're going to go chasing after anyone here-"
"No. You misunderstand." Ronald interrupted him. "Let me rephrase the question, once again, for clarity sake. What's your real name, for the record?"
There was a long pause. "I'm..."
"Say it." Ronald said menacingly. "I will not repeat myself, say your name."
Suddenly Pennywise saw an opening. He threw his XXL Soda in Ronald's face. Ronald stumbled backwards, clutching his eyes and screaming.
"You little bastard!" Ronald shouted, jumping off the ground. "I swear, if you don't stop this nonsense, I'll kick your ass, got it?"
Pennywise took another bite of the glass burger, laughing. "I guess you'll have to wait until I finish eating, hmm? If I'm gonna die, then so are you. I'm already a dead man."
Ronald stomped towards Pennywise, ready to strike him, but instead he jumped into the air, dodging the attack. "I don't think so." Ronald said. "We'll see who's the bigger man when I beat you to death."
It was hard to believe that Ronald was afraid of anything. He was a giant man with a thick beard. He was wearing a red hat with the McDonalds logo on it. His suit was red too, and so was his face. He had bright yellow shoes, and a blue belt. Ronald was easily the biggest man Pennywise has ever seen.
"You've been warned." Ronald said, clenching his fists. "And I'll do whatever it takes to make you regret the day you were born."
"Yeah, yeah, big talker. Keep your cool, Ronald. We're just getting started. So sit back down on that chair and relax." Pennywise replied.
"Hey, you little freak! Are you trying to piss me off!? You dare to call me names? To insult me? You're going to pay for this!" Ronald said, sitting down in the chair, which caused the chair to break. He then grabbed some broken pieces of wood and hurled them at Pennywise.
Pennywise dodged the attacks with ease, laughing at Ronald. "Really? Is that all you've got? It doesn't surprise me. After all, you're just a fat old man. I bet you never fought a triple D'd clown god before."
Ronald threw more wooden pieces at Pennywise. "You better watch yourself. I'll make you wish you never met me, you worthless piece of-"
Pennywise then reached into his robe, pulling out a shard of glass. He then threw it directly into Ronald's eye. Ronald screamed in pain. "Ouch! What did you do that for!?"
Pennywise laughed while rubbing his hands together. "Oh no you don't, Ronald! You're going to suffer for daring to cross me."
Ronald tried to run away, but Pennywise caught him and pinned him against the wall with his foot.
"How dare you lay a single finger on me!" Ronald yelled.
Pennywise laughed evilly. "Watch this!" He said, holding a glowing shard of glass above Ronald's head.
"No!" Ronald screamed.
Suddenly, the shard burst into flames, incinerating Ronald's entire body. Everyone gasped in horror.
Pennywise chuckled. "Ha ha! See ya later, Ronald." He said, walking out of the restaraunt.
Pennywise got into his car, where he was greeted by Papawise. "Hello, boy. How did it go with ronald?" Papawise asked.
"Get out of my car you stupid slut." Said Pennywise.
"You know I'm your father, right?" Papawise said.
"You're nothing but a whore. You never let me have any fun! You always made me do chores."
"Well, if that's how you feel, I'll just leave. Good luck with your battles. I love you." Papawise said sadly, exiting the car.
Pennywise then drove home without a care.
THE END