Things were scarily quiet for a while, outside of the occasional manic mutter from a Daria very unaccustomed to feeling so out of her own head. Jane had to strain one eye to keep it on her passenger, praying she would not do anything stupid under the pretence of invincibility.
Jane was not a stranger to weed, having grown up around it most of her life, and Trent smoked occasionally but not enough for it to be of any concern. All it did to him was make him sleepier than he already was, though he did seem to write some of his better stuff when his head was higher up in the clouds than usual. Jane had only recently considered trying the stuff and it was obvious from the situation she was currently in that Daria had never thought about it. God only knows what else those idiots back there were doing with those brownies. Hopefully they weren't stupid enough to mix it with LSD or something or they would really be in trouble.
"My teeth are too hard."
Jane blinked at the sudden words from her passenger and tried to look at Daria with one eye as was approaching an intersection.
"What?" Jane asked. Daria was grinding her teeth and prodding an incisor quite hard.
"My teeth are too hard, and I don't like it. It's not normal."
"Uh, in what way?"
"I don't know, everything else in your mouth is so soft but then you get these big, rock hard pieces of bone in there and," Daria made a 'burr' sound as her shoulders shuddered, "Gives me the heaves."
"Don't you heave in this car!" Jane squawked, quickly rolling the window down further.
"I'd just clamp my teeth together, problem solved."
"Augh I did not need to hear that!" Jane groaned, blinking furiously to get that image out of her head "Just… keep track of how many fingers you have or some shit!" She turned onto another road, but the fog was making this harder than she expected. The artist tried to focus on both Daria and the road but… she was not making this easier. After another couple of minutes, they came to a red light.
The pair sat in silence for a short while until the lack of sound was suddenly interrupted by a very loud rumble. Without looking, Jane could not stop herself from smirking as she drove on when the lights changed.
"Wow, you should get these pipes looked at, that sounded pretty gnarly." She turned to face Daria, who was pink cheeked and had both hands over her stomach. Her red eyes were looking straight ahead as if trying to disappear into the car's decor.
"I know that was you, Mogandorffer. Try as you might you're not that transparent." Jane added, Daria groaned and her shoulders slumped.
"Damn, I'm starving!"
"Pfft," Jane could not stop herself from snickering, "I'm not surprised."
"Can we stop somewhere?" Daria leant up and looked out the window, "Like, now?"
"What?" Jane laughed with indignation, turning a corner "No way!"
"Why not?"
"Cause there's no way we're going anywhere other than my place. If you think I'm gonna babysit some loony- AHH!" Jane yelled and slammed the brakes, jerking them both forward. Daira, evidently not prepared for this, was propelled forward, and slammed her head against the dashboard with a hard CLUNK! She let out a growl of pain as she slumped back into the seat, dazed.
"Oh my God, Daria I am so sorry!" Jane gasped, feeling the colour drain from her face as she reached to check her over. "Are you okay?"
"Ugh… I deserved that…" Daria groaned, pulling away from Jane's hand. "And I think my tongue just dissolved…"
Jane sighed, hoping that Daria would be lucky enough to avoid a concussion, she was not prepared to explain any of this to a paramedic. She looked out the windshield and let out a huff of relief.
"Well, I suppose it's better to have a cracked scull or a bleeding tongue rather than fall into that bastard right there."
Jane pointed out the windshield and Daria blinked as she saw the red and white tape stretched across the road, blocking it. On the other side was a gigantic hole probably left by a construction crew. It must have been around ten feet deep.
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, do you think we'd find CHUDS if we went down there?"
"That or we end up looking like a Jackson Pollok painting." Jane was about to joke that she could put the car in drive, jump out and then claim the piece for millions of dollars, but even the thought of joking about hurting Daira like that spooked her, despite everything that had happened she needed her help.
"Mmmmh…." Daira's eyes glazed over, and she leant back further into her seat, evidently trying hard to come up with a rebuttal but just seemed to be falling asleep.
"Woah, hey, stay with me here!" Jane turned the AC on to blow it into Daria's face, which seemed to rouse her from the near stupor, "You can sleep later, alright?" She turned the car around and drove in the other direction, cursing under her breath at the universe. It seemed to be having a proper laugh at her tonight.
"Jane?" said Daria, "I'm hungry."
"I know!" Jane sighed, not pleased that she now had to find an alternative route home and would probably have to listen to this complaint the whole time. "Hang in there, okay? We'll order pizza when we get to my house I promise. It won't be long."
The pair did not say much more as Jane drove on. She kept glancing over at Daria, who finally seemed to be calming down, her head was tilted back, and she was staring at the ceiling. She stopped muttering but occasionally her lips would move as if about to say something but never did. What was she thinking about?
Jane thought about asking her further questions. The pair hadn't spoken properly in so long… because she had been so angry. Daria had been avoiding her, she avoided her at the party for God's sake! And could Jane blame her? The last time they spoke, Jane had told Daria she hated her, so why should she approach her? Still, Jane wished dearly to tell her everything she had been feeling these last six months. But now was not the time. All Jane could hope for would be that she might be more willing after sobering up. But since it had been four brownies, that was going to take a while. Still, it did not make it any less uncomfortable for the pair.
As time went on, Jane started to worry. That busted road was the only route she knew back to her house, she would have to ask someone for directions, but at this time of night she was not willing to knock any doors, since all she would get as a greeting would be a strike on the head or shot to the face.
"Um," Daria finally hummed, "Jane-?"
"Daria if you say you're hungry again, so help me, I'm manually ejecting you from that seat."
"I wasn't gonna…"
"A little munchie bird told me you would." Daria turned away to look out the window, proving Jane right. The artist sighed, she really did not want this silence to continue, it only made the rift between them even more evident. Before, the pair could've bantered for America but now? It was as if they were strangers. But at the same time, Jane knew that whatever subject they talked about, inevitably the conversation would swerve into their fight. Jane could not face it. And unbeknownst to her, Daria was battling the same urges, albeit while trying to keep track of how many fingers she had when they kept jumping around her lap, when she was certain she was keeping them still.
After a few more quiet moments, Daria finally broke the silence by pointing outside to an approaching neon sign, it was for a fast food place they had gone to before, long before their falling out, "There might be burgers at the People Tank, I… Dammit! I mean, maybe you could ask for the way to… the glitter berries..."
"Glitter berries? No, we don't need to… Actually," Jane relented turned off the main road onto the side. "Yeah, that's actually a good idea. Kill two birds with one stone I guess."
"Huh," Daria blinked in surprise and scratched her neck, "didn't think that'd actually work…"
"Don't get conceited, I'm only agreeing because I need directions, and I really don't wanna listen to that the rest of the way home, it's driving me nuts!" Jane smirked as she backhanded Daria on the stomach, which had been making itself very much known during the journey.
Daria let out an uncharacteristic chuckle, only to dive straight into a coughing fit. Jane smirked; it was not unlike Trent whenever he laughed. Oh shit, Trent! Jane cursed herself for forgetting about him, she could only hope the Burger Tank had a phone so she could tell him what happened. That and get his order, he would be starving. He would also know how to handle Daria; she was not sure how much longer she was going to cope.
Speaking of Daria, she let out a couple of dry and uncomfortable sounding hacks.
"You good?"
"My mouth is so dry… and I think my tongue jumped out. It's mad I bit it."
"Don't worry we'll grab a bite; I'll use a phone and we're outta here. It'll be easy peasy." Jane grinned tensely. Burger Tank did not have a drive thru. And there was no way she was going to leave Daria in this car by herself. The last thing Jane needed was people thinking there was a cadaver in the car, though at this point she wasn't even sure if Daria could even stand up.
Once they had parked, Jane got out and opened the passenger door. Daria made an odd waving motion, as if trying to reach for the door, but misjudged how far to lean.
"Ahh!" she squawked and waved her arms as she practically tumbled from the seat. She reached up for the nearest thing to grab for support, which unfortunately turned out to be Jane's neck. Jane swore loudly as she was pulled down but was able to grab Daria before she hit the concrete.
"Jesus!" Jane strained through her teeth to pull Daira by the armpits, the girl had gone quite limp and was making no attempt to stand up on her own, "Trying to take me with you, Morgandorffer?!"
Daria only mumbled some kind of non-sequitur about flamingos and pogo-sticks in response.
"I'm not dragging your ass in there, come on!" Jane looked around franticly before propping Daria against the car door, letting her hold onto the roof for support. "Can you stand up?"
"I… I dunno." Daria tilted her head back way further than Jane would have wanted her to, her head tilted from side to side as she looked at the stars "Hey, if you daydream at night does it just become a dream or is it a nightdream?"
"Daria!" Jane spoke bluntly, that seemed to knock Daria out of the clouds, at least for a moment.
"Okay, okay," she ran a hand through her messed-up hair, "You're right, we, we gotta think… clearly here."
"Yeah, says the girl with half a kilo of weed in her belly. I'll do the thinking." Jane shook her head and looked at the building. Like she hoped, people were inside, and there was a line of payphones. Hopefully someone would know the way back to her street.
"You got any quarters for the phone?"
"Glove compartment… even though people don't actually put their gloves in there. Isn't that like… I 'unno candy hearts that aren't made of hearts?"
"Thank you, Sartre…" Jane dug through said compartment and found a few coins as well as a pair of sunglasses. Jane shrugged and pocketed the glasses, they could come in handy at some point.
"Oooohh Jeeeesus." Daria suddenly groaned, "Nah, let's go I've changed my mind!"
"What? Why?" Jane looked in the window of the building and instantly saw what had spooked Daria, "Oh dear."
Quinn with the Fashion Club, all dolled up and sitting inside the Burger Tank. They must have been at a party too and given how animatedly they were talking, it did not look like they were going to leave soon. Jane gulped and looked at Daria, who had plastered herself against the side of the car, breathing much quicker now.
"Hey no, don't freak out it's gonna be alright." Jane peeled Daria off the car and stood her upright by the shoulders, "I'm not gonna let anything happen."
"They'll tell everyone," Daria groaned, calming down slightly, "my life's over…"
"Don't be stupid." Jane let her go, and she seemed to be able to stand on her own. She pinched the bridge of her nose in thought. She was not going to question why Daria cared so much about what the Fashion Club would think, this was a bit more complicated than having a zit in an obvious place.
"Okay," she said finally, as she walked back and forth, "Here's what's gonna happen. We'll go in, I'll say we went out to see a midnight movie, say we saw, uh, 'Flowers of Robert Mapelthorp' or something, that'd be enough to scare her off, we need some chow, and … I'm sorry, I can't tell, am I talking to you or a vaguely Daria shaped bush?"
Jane pouted in exasperation as Daria had been watching a car's bee themed radio antenna the whole time.
"Tethered to the car like they're tethered to their queen. Sad." She mumbled, waving her hand in time with the swaying antenna.
"God damn!" Jane grabbed Daria by the shoulders, "Look me in the face when I'm talking to you, Morgandorffer!"
"Can't see anything else from this distance." Daria drawled, "…Also I just realised; the only place you can kiss a mirror is on the lips."
"Where did you even get that from!" Was it considered murder if she was driven to insanity first? She was about to go on when Daria suddenly started struggling against Jane's grip, her red eyes looking panicked, "Wait woah relax-!"
"This isn't going to work!" She was talking quickly again, "she's gonna see that I'm high and tell my parents or the fashion of clubs or- what if she tells Ms Li! What am I supposed to do?"
"Say nothing, I'll handle it!" Jane was rapidly becoming exhausted with this carousel of nonsense, No-one will know! Just act normal!" she could only hope Daria remembered that her 'normal' was just standing there looking stoic, "in fact, wait!" she took the sunglasses out from her pocket and put them on Daria's face, in front of her own glasses.
"Ah!" Daria yelped, "Turn the day back on!"
"Sorry, but if the style squad see your eyes, they'll ask questions." Jane released Daria from her grip, who wobbled slightly but stayed standing, "If they do, just… I dunno, give them a smile or something and say something witty."
"You want me… to Smile?"
"You can do that, right?"
Daria hesitated, before giving it a try. Unfortunately, Daria's idea of a smile seemed to a wide, slightly deranged looking grimace that showed off all her teeth. It was quite alarming, and Jane was glad that she was too zonked to think about strangling her here in this carpark, keeping that smile the whole time. That would've made an interesting plot for a Sick Sad World special.
"Okay forget the smile, just stand still, okay I'll handle Quinn."
"You'll stay with me, right?"
"Yeah, I'll stay." Jane assured her, patting her on the shoulder "You're denser than pig shit if you think I'm gonna leave you alone like this."
As Jane turned away from, unbeknownst to her, a very pink cheeked Daria, to lock the car door, she heard a mumble.
"Um… is the ground supposed to be coming up?"
"What-? Ah!" Jane yowled as she just managed to catch Daria before the girl fell face-first into the concrete, "…You're not going to make this easy, are you?"
A mumble wondering what people called gravity before it was named, was the answer.