Chapter Thirty-One: Fish Aren't the Answer

"There's something in the water, I don't like the flavor, I don't like the taste."
- Hayley Kiyoko (Demons)

Sunday, September 18, 2005 - Rosalie

I couldn't imagine what was going through Bella's mind as we led her father through the forest for his first hunt. I could easily remember the feelings of disgust I had before I sunk my teeth in a deer for the first time, then the warm blood hit my tongue and all of that vanished. So, while intellectually speaking I was confident she'd be able to cope, emotionally it would be impossible.

Not to mention she would now have her father, forever. She would never have to watch him grow old or infirm, or suffer with dementia or illness. But their future could be one of awkward lies and uncomfortable estrangement. The reality of their situation would be based on a lie, as he would likely have to pose as her older brother, their resemblance too close to be anything else. Especially now that looked so young, far too young to be the father of a fully grown teenager.

Charlie's face was growing hard as we moved through the wilderness, and his anger seemed to grow as he easily avoided trees and obstacles with almost no visible effort, until he stopped abruptly with a loud grunt of displeasure.

"I can't do this Bells. This is nuts." He said with a small sneer.

"Let's get you fed; it'll be easier to think after that." She tried to explain, but I could see the advice roll off him like water on a duck feather.

"I'm not having trouble thinking, it is way too easy to think. In fact I keep thinking about what I'm about to do, what I am, and it is sickening!" He was very upset, his voice rising in anger and frustration, although it wasn't directed at Bella, I could see it affecting her.

"Don't yell at me, I didn't do this, I just wanted you to be better. I didn't want you to suffer anymore, and I know that's why Alice went to you." Bella pleaded angrily, although she clearly regretted getting defensive, realizing her own anger was getting the better of her.

"I'm not angry at you or Alice, I'm angry at this!" He beat on his chest a few times for emphasis, his jaw working with barely repressed fury.

"Blood will seem disgusting until it isn't, you are no longer human. With that comes certain instincts that will take over when they are needed. We are closer to a cat than a person in a lot of ways, save for our intellect." I tried to explain, and he glared at me, until his brow furrowed and he started to chuckle.

"A cat?" Charlie shook his head with a touch of mirth and disbelief, his anger fully broken as he took in what I said.

"You will never age, never change. Your mirror image will be the same in a century, a millenia. You will likely live to see the end of the world, if you do not tire of your existence first and seek to end it." I had no interest in sugarcoating the truth, but Bella gave me a worried look as his face fell and he began to shake his head.

"You mean the only way to die is to kill myself? I'm immortal?" He asked, his face hard and difficult to read.

"Yes and no. Killing yourself is next to impossible, you would need help." I answered, despite knowing how difficult the words I expressed were to hear.

"That's… my god. What else?" Charlie fell back against a tree, then looked down at his hands and marveled at their condition. The scars and calluses I had noted covering his hands from decades of manual labor and hard work were gone. His skin was smooth and young, as though he had never worked a day in his life.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I asked, glancing at Bella and trying not to let my affection for her hold me back.

"I need to hear this." He nodded mostly to himself and looked up at me.

"Alright. Besides blood, you will find human food to be tasteless and we do not digest it so anything you do consume will come back up eventually. Your hair and nails do not grow and are as strong as your skin and bones so any need to cut your hair, if that were even possible, would be a permanent change. We do not sleep, we have perfect recall and memory, and you will always feel that burning in your throat when you are hungry for blood. Over time your eyes will shift color, if you consume human blood they will change from bright red to dark red, if you follow our lifestyle they will eventually turn amber." As I spoke, revealing his new truth, I could see horror in his expression. It was one thing to consider yourself vampire in the abstract, it was another to hear the differences listed out in stark detail. Bella's lower jaw was quivering, but her expression was stoney as she waited for her father to react.

"My eyes are red…" Charlie tilted his head as he considered what I had told him, and for a few seconds seemed deep in thought. Then his expression brightened as he turned to Bella. "Well, I always thought sleep was overrated."

"There's more of course, but you can catch up on most of it over time." I said drawing his attention.

"Thank you, Rosalie. Bells, could we at least talk about what happened? Who was that woman?"

"It's complicated, but basically she is this deranged girlfriend of a guy that was killed because they were after Angela, and now she's out there doing god knows what." Bella managed to sum up the situation in far fewer words than I would've used, which I attributed to her skill as a writer.

"Wait, you killed someone?" Charlie gave his daughter a horrified look, and Bella immediately shook her head.

"Well no, not me directly. Mason, Angela's… boyfriend, killed him. They had taken her, and would've killed her, so he did what he had to do." Bella stepped forward, and almost reached up to touch his arms or shoulders to calm him down and reassure him she wasn't a killer.

Charlie visibly relaxed, and nodded. "Okay, that's a lot. First, Angela has a boyfriend, who is a vampire?"

"Yes." Bella said slowly, and I could see she was struggling with how much to explain.

"Has that been going on long?" Charlie looked bemused, and shook his head in mild disbelief. Although I wasn't sure if it was the idea of Angela with a boy, or who she was with that caused his amusement. The reaction upset me though, and I was about to react but Bella continued before I could.

"They kind of just started seeing each other officially, although after his story I'm not sure how they are doing right now." Bella frowned slightly and looked over at me, just as my phone dinged.

Edward: Heading to Mexico. Emmett and I are after Victoria, her trail will fade fast so we had to act quickly. Please tell the family we'll keep in touch if possible. Tell Bella that I wish her all the happiness. Emmett says he forgives you, and hopes you are both happy.

Rose: This better not be a goodbye message, do not do anything reckless down there.

Edward: I'm never reckless, except with my own heart.

I stared at his words for a few minutes, trying to push down the feelings of guilt before typing out a response.

Rose: Tell Emmett that if he dies I will personally find a way to resurrect him and beat him to death with his own stupidity.

Edward: We'll both be careful, I promise. I have to turn off my phone now, we'll be in touch when we can.

"What is it?" Bella asked, touching my arm gently. The casual contact felt nice, familiar and I smiled at her despite my new worries about my brothers' well being.

"Emmett and Edward are gone." I said looking down at the exchange feeling very conflicted.

"What do you mean gone?" Bella shook her head slightly in disbelief.

I looked up at her because of the change in her voice and winced as I realized what I implied, "sorry, not dead, they are headed after Victoria."

"Oh." Bella said in surprise, her expression shifting a few times as she ran through her complicated feelings. "Alright, Dad, I have to explain my relationships and the hardest one to talk about is my complicated feelings about Edward. So last year, that day, when Tyler crashed his van into me. Well, Edward had to make a very difficult choice. He held back and didn't intervene." She paused and Charlie's eyes went wide. She held up a finger and shook her head before continuing. "I was a virtual stranger and saving me would've risked exposure for him and his family. It was the mature thing to do, despite his burgeoning feelings for me. It was a choice that I have struggled with, and have chosen to finally accept and forgive." She clearly tried to emphasize what mattered to her, but he was fuming.

"You're telling me that boy let you get hurt, and I'm supposed to just forget about it? Not gonna happen." Charlie's nostrils flared as he spoke.

"That is exactly what you're going to do, because it is my choice to forgive him. I had just let him back into my life when this happened to you. He is a brother to me, and I hope we can figure out how to be friends going forward." I wasn't sure if she had an adversarial relationship with her father, but from my few interactions with the man, Charlie was usually very easy to get along with. Yet I knew he was very protective of his daughter, and this information wasn't going to be easy for him to process.

"Perfect. I don't understand how you can forgive him after he hurt you like that!" Charlie was shaking his head as he spoke, clearly not hearing that his opinion didn't matter anymore on this particular issue.

"It should be enough that I have forgiven him. It was my pain, and my body that was harmed. Now, if you need to force your opinion on this, here are the facts. He literally made a split-second decision to protect his family. A choice that he has regretted every second of every day since. He knows I have accepted and forgiven his actions, and we have managed to move past it. In theory. We haven't really spoken much yet." Bella kind of shrugged and looked over at me again. I just squeezed her hand to let her know I was there for her. Charlie, though, was still shaking his head.

"Dad, do you know what hurts me in all this? The fact that I know he loves me. I know that sounds contrary because we're not together and never will be, but can you imagine what he's going through? I had been focusing on my pain, and his betrayal. Yet he is the one who will suffer with his decision now. I'm over it, he isn't." I didn't know where she was going with this line of thought, yet I held back from responding, hoping she had a follow up.

"I don't get it. How would he be suffering?" He asked, clearly playing into what she wanted to say.

"One of the best and worst parts of our new existence is the fact we remember everything in perfect detail. I have the luxury of remembering very little from the crash, or my surgeries. Sure I had endless recovery and physical therapy and pain. But those are fuzzy now, and easy to forget. He was a vampire, and he had to watch as that van crushed me. He will have to live with that mental image for as long as he lives. Can you imagine watching that kind of tragedy, knowing you could've done something. To replay that horror again and again, wondering what could've happened if you had intervened, that's a kind of hell. It's basically an eternity of mental and emotional torture for one mistake. I would never want to inflict that on anyone, let alone someone I care about." Bella's point was rather well crafted, and I was deeply impressed with her ability to recognize the thoughts and feelings of others. If I hadn't already fallen for her, just hearing how she could empathize with Edward made me feel validated and utterly happy with my choice.

"Point, but you suffered too. I had to watch you struggle with debilitating pain for a year." He said rejecting the explanation Bella had found to get past her feelings of betrayal.

"Yes, I did. Now all of that pain is ephemeral, as easily forgotten as dreams. What he did to himself is indelible. You know, he never even tried to justify his actions, despite the fact that from a certain point of view his choice was noble. He protected his family against his own personal desires." Her argument was passionate, and I realized I could actually see her growing confidence in her own opinion, as though she had only forgiven him in theory, rather than working through her own feelings.

"That feels like a justification." Charlie's expression had softened, and Bella pulled me close to her for support. I wasn't sure how hard it was for her to argue for Edward, but I could see it weighing on her.

"God dad, I have made my choice. It took me a while to figure out how to trust him, but I do now, and that is the last time I want to hear about it." Bella spoke clearly, slowly and patiently and eventually Charlie nodded.

"You're right, I seem to be a bit more bullheaded, but I will get past this." He sighed. "I have to say, I kind of hate all of this. How can I live like this?" He was shaking his head again, I could see a conflict in his eyes, the same conflict he had whenever he would drop her off at school in his converted van. Love and pain and fear all rolled into one, and it was heartbreaking.

"Dad. You have to accept this life because you don't have another choice. It isn't reversible, and I can't lose you now." She was still trying to get through to him, to find the right words to calm him down, but was clearly running out of ideas. "Can't you just be happy that I'm back in your life again? You'll never have to worry about me getting sick or hurt outside of conflict we have no control over. I don't know who we are to each other, as adults, but we have a lot of time ahead of us to figure it out."

"I'm sorry, I am so unbelievably happy that you are alive and… walking. I just can't get my head around all of this. I should go home." He frowned, and I winced.

"You can't go home." I shook my head almost involuntarily; it was a subject I really hadn't wanted to bring up just yet, but I could see it was inevitable.

"Why not?" He said aggressively, standing up as he said it.

"We had to stage your death." I said after a long pause to gather my composure. "Our natural instinct is to feed, to kill. We're the only natural predators of humanity and instinctively we feel an almost irresistible pull to drink human blood. Right now, in these first few months you are going to be volatile, emotional, and potentially dangerous to humans. It is also the time when you can make a choice, if possible, to follow our path. My family has committed to never hunting humans, never drinking their blood. Yet even with that moral stricture, accidents happen."

"So, you're telling me I will want to kill people?" He took a step back and fell back on the log.

"Yes." I admitted, not able to look up to meet his eyes. He sat for several seconds without speaking. When he did it was barely a whisper.

"Then kill me, I can't let myself become a monster." He had his eyes tightly shut, and his face buried in his hands.

"You don't have to be a killer. Carlisle is over three hundred years old and he has never fed from a human, never taken a life. In fact he has saved countless lives as a doctor. He has honed his tolerance to the point where he can be inches from someone on an operating table and shrug off the pull as if it were nothing. So trust me when I say, it can be done." I hoped that example would be enough.

"Have you?" He looked at Bella, who immediately shook her head.

"No, but I'm weird." She shrugged.

"Weird?" He scrunched up his face a little, and shook his head, clearly not having a clue what she meant.

"I have something called a gift, think of it kind of like a superpower. I basically have a mental shield, which blocks any mental gift another vampire tries to assault me with. It also protects my mind from my own impulses. I can feel those monstrous instincts constantly butt up against my shield, but they never affect me. It gives me almost perfect control, well sort of, my emotions are still all over the place." She seemed proud of her explanation, and he nodded a couple of times in understanding.

"Are powers common?" He asked with genuine curiosity in his expression, and she smiled so wide and brightly, that I thought she would break into a dance. I was just glad to see a positive change in the conversation.

"Gifts are rare, to the point that one of the more powerful covens makes it a point to recruit the gifted into their ranks. My family is uncommon with so many of us gifted bound together. Edward can read thoughts, except for Bella. Alice has visions of the future. Bella can protect her mind from other mental powers, and I have the gift of compulsion. Our new friend Mason can boost the powers of others, and has some kind of elemental fire. He can also see the potential gifts in others, which is how we know you also have a gift. A shield similar to Bella's, but it is different enough to be unsure what you can do." I wasn't sure it was right to dump that kind of information on him so soon, but he just nodded in stride.

"That's… wow. So how do I figure it out?" He asked the most obvious first question.

"Time, practice. Bella and I have only just started to learn about our gifts. So you'll have company." I answered, hoping that if he knew he wasn't alone it would make it easier.

"So these powers don't show up right away?" The response was quick and pointed, and I was surprised by how easily he had accepted his new normal. Even if he was resistant to the very idea of what had happened to him.

"They do generally, I'm a special case." I explained simply, not really sure how to go into further details.

"Okay, I don't know about any of this, but I'll try." He sighed, but got up and brushed the dirt from his jeans. "By the way, who changed my clothes?"

"Alice picked them out as usual, but Carlisle put them on. I would have done it, but it felt weird. Anyway, all that I ask is that you try. Now let's get back to the hunt." Bella gave him an encouraging smile and reached out a hand to him, which he took. Then she motioned for him to start, and we let him lead. Eventually we came to a river and his eyes went wide and a big smile crossed his face. It was the first expression of joy I had seen since he woke up and saw Bella alive for the first time.

"Dad, fish are not very tasty." Bella furrowed her brow, and I had to stifle a laugh in agreement.

"She's right, they just taste weird to us." I said backing her up, but he just gave us both a look of disbelief and waded out into the river with a strange smile and looked back at us with a goofy grin.

"It isn't even cold, and the current is like nothing to walk through." He looked positively joyful, and Bella nodded with a somewhat supportive smile on her face. I smiled too, but inwardly I was cringing.

He stood perfectly still, and then he suddenly erupted in motion and reached into the water like he was a master of barehanded fishing. He immediately brought the fish up and out of the water and didn't waste any time biting into it. Two seconds later his eyes shot open and a strange look crossed his face as he tossed the fish onto the riverbank.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea; fish just don't work for our needs." Bella teased, but Charlie wasn't really paying attention, already looking into the water for another. A second later he had an even bigger fish in his mouth and repeated the process a dozen times before stopping.

"Well that was way better than I thought it would be." He looked at the mangled pile of fish bodies, and smirked.

"I guess you are lucky, I cannot stand the taste of fish blood." I tried not to grimace at the thought, but couldn't quite pull it off.

"It's weird, but kind of familiar. It feels like me." Charlie shrugged, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and frowning as he realized he had ruined the shirt. "That's gross."

"You get used to it. Not everyone discovers their taste preference so quickly. Edward is into hunting mountain lions, Emmett wrestles bears, and I prefer wolves." I explained, and he looked at me incredulously.

"So, you're saying I can fight a bear?" Charlie looked almost excited.

"You can technically hunt anything with blood, and yes we are stronger than bears." I gave him a big smile.

"I only knew about fish because Edward tried to warn me off, but I didn't listen. I practically vomited, which would've been a trick considering I'm not entirely sure I use my stomach to digest the blood." Bella looked at me, but I shrugged having no idea about how our biological systems worked.

"That would be a Carlisle question." I replied feeling mildly disappointed in myself that I couldn't give her an answer. "Actually Charlie, you may find Carlisle a good teacher to help with your impulses. As I said before, he is better at it than any of us, except for Bella here."

"Right, that actually sounds like a good idea. Okay, I'm gonna have a long conversation with Carlisle, and finally meet everyone properly." He said finally and shook his head with one last small chuckle.

He ate a few more fish and we headed back towards the house directly. Carlisle and Esme were waiting, and they decided to take a walk with Charlie to talk things over. Leaving me and Bella alone for the first time in a while.

"I think we need to talk about a couple of things." She said after they were out of earshot.

"Okay." I replied nervously, not sure what she had in mind.

"So, um, we're alone. The house is empty, and I really really want you."

"Oh, wow. Um, yeah. I honestly hadn't thought too hard about that next step yet. I guess I was waiting until you were ready."

"I'm ready." She said with a familiar expression, one I hadn't fully seen in months and without a reason to hold back, it made me melt this time. I just nodded softly, and she rushed forward and threw her arms around my back. We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, before we both moved in for a kiss. This wasn't restrained, or chaste. This was pure passion, and it quickly escalated until I found myself moving towards the house. Then I pulled away and smiled at her as she started to pout, reaching out my hand for her. Then I ran around the house to my garage, and her eyes widened.

"I want our first time to be in the bed we first shared together." I said as I motioned towards the apartment with my eyes. She nodded and gave me a look of gratitude and affection that made my heart swell.

Walking into that space with her, hand in hand, was surreal. The last time we had been there was back in April and I could vividly remember those first awkward moments helping her with her bath, and the small scare when she had almost drowned. It was the moment seared into my memory, a switch that had been flipped. Something permanent and irreversible, it was when I realized she meant more to me than I could have ever imagined. I guided us past the living room and entered the bathroom, stopping next to the tub, my mind and body reacting with anticipation.

Bella glanced down at the white porcelain and furrowed her brow. "It's been awhile, last time I was here I was still broken."

"You were never broken, just… restrained." I said in a small tentative voice. I reached over and touched my palm to her chest, and she quickly covered it with both of hers. Then in the next breath she guided my hand to the hem of her shirt, and I nodded slightly in understanding.

Raising the fabric over her head, I was surprised to see she had filled out a bit, although her chest was still modestly sized. I stopped while her face was still covered, and kissed her through the fabric, giving in to my impulses and desires entirely. She moaned breathlessly, and tore through the fabric with her teeth to expose her lips. I didn't hesitate and kissed her again, the taste of her setting my nerves on fire. My inhuman hunger, growing sharp and painful, just from being in her presence.

I pulled the shirt off her arms, and we kept our hands intertwined as she moved them down in front of us, mine moving to her pants and hers to my dress. It was almost elegant as my arms moved down and hers up, then I raised my arms above my head so she could pull my dress from my body. It was a strange and wonderful feeling to stand there with little between us except for thin lace and silk. Her scars were all gone, her legs fully restored and looked powerful. Then she moved forward while I was staring at her body and pressed into me tightly, catching my mouth again in a hungry kiss, a soft growl escaping her throat.

"Mine." She muttered, as she started to kiss down my neck and chest, flipping off the shoulder straps of my bra and ripping it off me with little effort. It didn't matter that she had seen me naked before, I felt excited and exposed and almost wanted to cover myself. Except she was now my lover, and I wanted her to enjoy me in every way.

She lavished attention on my breasts, teasing me before taking me into her mouth. It felt beyond amazing, and totally different from Emmett. She was rougher, more aggressive and sent me over the moon with sensation and desire. I had to return the feelings she was stirring within me and pulled her up and smashed my lips to hers, tearing her bra from her chest and lifting her body so that her legs wrapped around my waist and I had perfect access to her breasts.

I took my time, happy to enjoy her skin and the pink circles of her tiny nipples. It was one of those moments where I knew in my bones that this was right, this was me, and this woman was mine to take in any way I wanted. I moved into the shower, turning on the water and slipping off my panties. Bella did the same and glanced down at me as I looked up and down hers taking her in.

"I can't believe this is happening." She swallowed, suddenly a nervous expression twisting her features.

"I want you Bella, this is real." I said, reaching over and cupping her cheek. She smiled at me, a bit more vulnerability than I expected as I realized this was her first time. I felt myself gasp and just pulled her close to me, hugging her tightly as the water cascaded down over us.

"I held onto this feeling, you holding me up and supporting me so easily. I never thought I could be here, standing on my own two feet. I never imagined I could support you too. I love you Rosalie." Bella said as her confidence started to return.

"I love you too, Isabella." I said, before I kissed her again. This time tenderly, before we took our time and made love all afternoon.

Author's Note:

That final scene was not originally a part of this chapter, but felt like the perfect time to bring the characters together in a more intimate setting. I also struggled with how far to push the scene, too much and it goes into explicit territory which isn't really a good fit for this story. However, given how graphic and brutal Mason's back story was, and where this story is going thematically as things get more and more heavy, I am just going to roll with whatever feels right for the story. I won't go into straight smut, but some of the details might push the boundaries of the Mature rating. If anyone feels this needs to be rated higher, please let me know.

Also, this story is now one of my priorities now that In Another Life is completed. Expect a faster turnaround time for chapters (generally one a week). Also, for anyone here reading after finishing IAL, there is going to be some reveals soon, some characters added that might make you smile.

Next Chapter: Learning to Lie

Thank you for reading!