Chapter 21 Exes and Oh
(Two days after the event of Ozzie's)
As Lobo, Octavia and Stella were chatting idly in the living room on a sunny afternoon. They noticed a depressed Stolas walking by in his robes. He stopped walking as he saw them sitting on the couch looking at him in concern.
"Oh sorry for the inconvenience I was uh heading for some food. Don't mind me continuing on with your conversation." Stolas said as he headed to the kitchen as the group looked at him with pity.
Lobo sighs as he thinks Stolas and Blitzo need to have a talk about what happened during Ozzie's. He looked towards Stella and Octavia.
"I'm going to have to put those two in a room so they can talk about their situation. Right now they are walking on eggshells and it seems like they are not going to address it. So now I am going to take matters into my own hands." Lobo said as Stella and Octavia nodded their heads as those two needed to talk and the girls left to the garden to tend to it.
Lobo headed to the kitchen and saw Stolas looking aimlessly at the fridge in a depressed state. Lobo coughed into his hand to get Stolas attention. As Stolas got out of his thoughts he turned and noticed Lobo standing behind him.
"Ah Lobo, is there something you need?" Stolas asked as Lobo shook his head.
"Look Stolas, we feel that you and Blitzo need to talk about what happened at Ozzies. You both have been dancing around the subject and I feel the both of you need to air out whatever you have been bottling up. Both of you have different views of how your relationship is and need to address it before you both get more hurt for not saying anything." Lobo said
Stolas tries to come up with excuses but nothing comes to mind as he knows Lobo is right. He sighs sadly as he now has to face the consequences of his own stupidity. He looks at Lobo and nods his head.
"Ok Lobo I'll try to talk Blitz and sort everything out." Stolas said as he went to get dressed.
As he returns Lobo puts a hand on his shoulder as they teleport to a room. He noticed there was a couch in the middle of the room. As he was about to speak, a clone of Lobo teleported into the room with Blitzo. Blitzo looked around in shock as he was in office and Lobo clone came out of nowhere and teleported him here.
As the clone dispel Lobo motions both Stolas and Blitzo to take a seat on the couch. The room immediately became silent. Lobo looked at the two of them, "You two need to talk and sort out whatever you have going on." With that, he walked towards the door, and then quietly closed the door behind him.
At first there was an awkward silence. Stolas tried to break the silence with small talk. "So um Blitzy, how is your day going? Is there anything exciting going on at your company?" Stolas said.
But it only made it more awkward. After a couple minutes of silence he looked Blitzo in the eye and finally spoke, "I really do love you Blitz. I trul-." He said before Blitzo stopped him mid-sentence.
"I'm sorry Stolas, but I don't feel the same way. After everything we have done I don't see us being together. You need to get over me, nothing good could come between us. Just give up and move on, you are only just going to hurt yourself." Blitzo said as Stolas could see the same feeling in Blitzo's eyes that he was feeling, that same feeling of resignation, of giving up.
Stolas sighs sadly as he tries to keep his emotions under control but tears slowly run. He wipes his eyes as Blitzo looks away as he tries to compose himself not trying to show weakness.
"If that's what you want, Blitz then I won't ever bother you ever again. You can borrow the grimoire for the remainder of the month then you have to give it back. Lobo can still work with you if you need help teleporting to the human world." Stolas said as Blitzo nodded his head as looked at the door.
"Alright Lobo, send me back to the office." Blitzo said as Lobo entered the room and snapped his fingers and a portal opened up to Blitzo's office. Blitzo jumps through the portal and the portal closes as he looks behind for a second before turning back around.
Lobo stares at Stolas as he is crying and Lobo feels bad for the Owl prince as he walks up to him. Stolas turned to Lobo and hugged him crying on his shoulder. Lobo didn't know what to do so he let Stolas cry on his shoulder while awkwardly patting him on the back.
After a while Stolas lets go while drying off his eye. "Sorry for that Lobo I didn't mean to do that." He said as Lobo waved him off and teleported them both back to the Goetia Manor.
As Lobo was about to head back to Stella and Octavia. Stolas once again hugged Lobo "Thank you Lobo for everything that you do for us. I mean it. You truly are a blessing." He said before letting go and headed back to his room as Lobo sighs before heading to where the girls are at.
0 0 0 0 0 0
One week later
The I.M.P. headquarters office building loomed large against the hellish red sky above. Inside the office, Lobo, Mayberry, Moxxie and Loona sat at the table on tall chairs with spikes around the jagged tops. Moxxie held a magenta mug in his hand with a small picture of his face on it and gold musical notes. Loona stared at her black cellphone in her hands as she sat on Lobo's lap while Lobo and Mayberry were talking.
On the white board were a variety of Blitzo's drawings. One showed a horse head with "Breakfast" next to it, and the horse's name "Lesbian Bottom." Another horse head drawing with "Kaboom: Bisexual, Versatile. (One night stand with all the other horses) And another horse head: "King Slut: Bisexual, Versatile, Transphobic." Another horse wearing sunglasses: "Blue Cheese: Gay, Top." "Sunbeam: Lesbian, Top, Versatile." "Slime: Bottom, Doesn't Like Labels!" Another horse head: "Bottom: says he's straight but he's not, bong water is antivax. Blue Cheese's side hoe." In big red letters with arrows pointing to the horses, it read "All are Trans!" Also, "Lesbians in love, engaged!" "Open relationship with Blue Cheese." In purple it read, "These are my OCs, do not steel!"
Moxxie looked around and put down his mug. He looked down nervously and clapped his hands.
Moxxie moved his head around. "You know, I checked the scale today…" He breathed deeply with a sigh and gave a smug grin and upward fist... "…and it said I lost two pounds this week." He held up two fingers, proudly.
Loona looked up from her phone and stared blankly, rolled her eyes with a shrug, then returned to looking at her phone.
Moxxie stood up angrily. "I. Am not. FAT!"
A fuming Millie kicked open the door, knocking off a stone bust of Blitzo's head off a pillar. She stomped again and the stone head shattered on the ground. Lily walked in behind her cousin in a foul mood. In Millie's hand was her cracked pink mug with hearts and her face on it. She growled, muttered, and stomped again. Lily walked over to her husband and sat down next to him as he rubbed his wife back.
She stood on her toes before tossing her pink mug onto the table. It landed in front of Loona, coffee slopping. Loona froze in stunned confusion. Millie punched a nearby pink button that read "Nut Button!" on a sticky note. A cardboard cutout of a blonde-haired man rose up from the floor wearing a blue suit, black necktie, pants and black shoes.
"Hi, I'm a Hooman!" was written on tapped cardboard near his face. Red targets were visible on his forehead, chest, and groin. Millie tossed a jagged dagger into the cardboard man's groin. She lunged herself at her target with a yell and began ripping off his cardboard head with her claws and teeth.
"Uh Lily honey? Is Everything okay with You and Millie?" Moxxie asked in a meek concerned voice.
In response, Millie let out a demonic growl, her forked tongue sticking out with a hiss, her eyes glowing yellow. Millie's eyes returned to normal, and she took some breaths.
"Yeah…we just…bumped into an ex of ours." Lily said as she slammed her fist onto the table cracking it, scaring Mayberry, Lobo and Loona.
"Oh!" Moxxie said. "Oh..." He looked downcast as Lily could feel her husband's emotion and hugged his head to her chest to calm her and him.
Millie slipped off her cardboard target, holding her dagger. "He just kept going on about how he has money now, and a 'bright future', and a 'bigger cock!'"
"Wait, what?" Moxxie asked.
Millie seethed. "Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it, I just need to…" She said
Millie yelled and punched square filing cabinets and they crashed to the floor. Pictures spilled out and floated everywhere.
Blitzo marched inside, holding his red cellphone, covering it with a hand. "What the fuck is all this noise?! I got a client!"
Moxxie raced over. "Sorry, sir. I'll help clean this…What is this?"
Among all the pictures of succubus in sexual positions and porn was a picture in Moxxie's hands of two imps making out with their tongues while wearing horse suits.
Blitzo took the picture from a disgusted Moxxie. "Uh…research! For science!" He dropped it and headed back out the door. "Put them back correctly, okay? I alphabetized them."
Blitzo talked on his cell phone in the shadows back in his office as he sat down back in his chair.
"Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?"
"Correct," spoke a male voice on the other end. "That will not be necessary." He had a subtle Italian accent. In a tall chair, the businessman faced the fireplace, the iron barrier decorated with designs of black sharks. The fire in the fireplace glowed a ghastly green. In one of his hands was a lit-up cigar and he twirled it. A chipped white bowl was on a nearby table.
The businessman continued. "I'd like to meet you with your whole crew at my estate."
Blitzo pondered. "Uh, you want us killing someone in Hell, 'cause I gotta tell ya, that ain't exactly our business no more."
"I'll tell ya all about it when you're here. It's in regards to a business venture I'm sure will be very worth your time." He dumped ashes from the lit cigar into the bowl. The smoke from the cigar floated in a skull-like shape.
Blitzo grinned. "Ooh, how ominous." He chuckled. "Fine, whatever, what's the address?"
"Transportation has already been taken care of," the businessman finished.
A black shark-like shadow darted across the window from the outside. Blitzo peered through the blinds, then raced into the other room toward the window. He spotted a large purple helicopter hovering by the I.M.P. building. It had pointed imp horn designs underneath it and a sharp tail like a shark.
Blitzo pressed his hands against the window. "What the fuck is that?!" Millie and Moxxie stood up and joined Blitzo.
In a flash, a green arrow grappling hook shot out from the helicopter and pierced a lower window. The cracks rapidly expanded as the rope was pulled.
CRASH!
The windows and wall burst apart and shattered, leaving a giant open hole. Loona starred in disinterest as if this were an everyday occurrence. Mayberry looks in concern as Lobo has to fix the building again; he wonders if he can contact Loopty and Lyle to make something stronger.
"Satan's ass crack!" Blitzo bellowed as the smoke cleared. "Enough with the wall shit! We have a door!"
A gust of wind blew all of Blitzo's porn pictures out the window. Blitzo gasped and extended his hand. "My research!"
The pictures floated down and a mother imp walked with her little son and daughter. The daughter took one of the pictures and the boy did, too. The boy looked at the picture of the horse imps making out and the girl saw two succubi giving each other anal. The girl imp wailed while the boy vomited as the mother gasped.
A ramp extended from the helicopter and a green shark appeared. He wore a purple jacket with a small bowtie and a matching pilot's cap. He wore thick sunglasses and had a cigar in his mouth.
"I.M.P.? Right this way, please," he called.
Moxxie and Lily held out their guns, Millie brandished her dagger.
"Uh sir, what's going on?!" Moxxie asked his boss.
Blitzo waved a hand. "Now don't worry. It's just some fancy schmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us."
Blitzo stepped over the window and onto the ramp. Millie, Lily and Moxxie followed. Moxxie looked down below in fright. "Uh, sir, I don't think this is a good idea!"
"It'll be fine," Blitzo glared. "Now get your asses moving!" He shoved his employees into the helicopter. Lily, Millie and Moxxie sat up in their seats Lobo went with them as he left a clone with Loona and Mayberry. He waved his hand and the walls and windows began to repair themselves magically.
Millie held a broken seat belt in her hands, the metal curved like horns. "Is this thing safe?!" she called out.
The two green shark pilots grinned. The leader said, "Don't worry! We are professionals!"
They crashed through a building and headed toward the elevator. A vent opened up, with "Elevator Hangar 3" written below it in white. The helicopter took off into the air. The sky was now green instead of red and clouded with smog and pollution. They were in the Greed Ring.
Down below them were the remains of the Loo-Loo Land theme park. The roller coasters and rides were broken and charred from the previous fire. The Loo-Loo apple mascot strolled by a sign that read "under construction" and yellow tape that read "do not cross."
An inspector imp held a clipboard and wore a thick dark green jacket that covered his mouth. He wore a green wide hat and black boots. He observed as more male imps wearing green hats and tailcoats carried bags of money over their shoulders.
One bag read "Mammon Logo" on it, as the other bags showed Mammon's joker-like face on it. They marched into an old building with a brick and a pile of sludge inside. A nearby boat was overturned, jutting sideways in the dirty water. Oil drums and tires were staked in a pile nearby.
Underneath a bridge, two male gang imps poured toxic waste onto the ground from an oil drum, and it spewed green flames. Another imp drank from another barrel of toxic waste.
Not too far away, a mafia gang of imps grinned as their member stabbed at a tied-up corpse of one of their members, who leaned against a smashed red car. A leader stood in the middle, flanked by two imps carrying clubs. The attacking imp then shot the corpse's face multiple times for good measure.
Near slime-covered sailboats was a sign that read, "Welcome to NOTAMAFIA TOWN! No mafia here! We're mafia free!"
"Ugh! I hate this place!" Moxxie stared in disgust at the city buildings and sewage below. Green neon toxic sewage poured from pipes into a stream near a large factory with power plants. A small suburban neighborhood was nearby.
"Oh yeah, this is your old stomping ground isn't it, Mox?" Blitzo asked.
"Well, like Lily and Millie, I was born in Wrath. My family and I moved to Greed when I was a kid. I grew up just over there." He pointed off into the distance. "I'd swore I'd never come back and…"
Moxxie paused, his eyes going wide. "Uh…uh…what…what, where are we going?"
The helicopter turned around and Moxxie grew more anxious.
"What…Blitz…who did you say this meeting was with?"
"I'm not sure, just some rich somebody or other who wants to discuss biz at his place."
The helicopter landed on a white H on the ground.
The door opened and Moxxie flinched back in a panic. "Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"
A large mansion stood before them, dark smoke fuming through both chimneys. Bullet holes made dents in the walls and the windows glowed an eerie green. Sharp claw designs hung over the roof and around the edges of the mansion. Bits of slime covered the roof as well. Moxxie shivered in fear as Blitzo shoved him forward out of the helicopter.
"There he is!" called a voice. It was the same businessman that Blitzo had talked to earlier. He had Moxxie's signature white side hair, red face, and pointed jagged stripped imp horns. He had white spiral-like markings around his eyes.
Like Striker and Valentino, he had a sharp gold tooth. He posed in a navy-blue striped suit with thin red vertical stripes and a red necktie. He had a black brimmed hat with a red band around it, plus a sharp zigzag pointed tail. He was flanked by a fat green shark wearing a blue and white suit and red necktie. A black-winged incubus was also wearing a navy-blue hat and suit with thin red stripes. The incubus had a cigarette in his mouth.
"There's my boy! Get over here and give your daddy a hug!" Said the Mafia imp
"Daddy?!" Blitzo, Lily and Millie exclaimed. While Lobo narrowed his eyes as he muffled his growls as he has a hunch on who this is.
"I only let Moxxie call me that…unless ya pay me!" He laughed and made his way toward them.
"Guys," Moxxie cleared his throat. "This is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitz. My friends Millie and Lobo, And my…"
Lily held out her hand. "Lily! I'm his wife!"
"And what a beautiful wife you are," Crimson purred as he kissed Lily's hand. "Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty little thang?"
"Oh, I'm sure he would've introduced us…eventually," Lily mentioned.
"Oh, I'm sure." Crimson walked over to Blitzo. "You gotta be Blitz, with the silent "o" right?" They shook hands. Crimson pulled Blitzo close as they walked. "I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work."
"Really?" Blitzo asked, in suspicion. "What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you, Moxxie, don't you fucking test me!" He glared at Moxxie and pointed an accusing finger at him. Moxxie flinched. Lobo noticed this as he clenched his fist.
"No, no! From all over," Crimson assured. "Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid."
"Really?" Blitzo chuckled with a grin, hands on his hips. "Huh. Well, I guess it's about time folks recognized my talent."
Crimson laughed out loud. "I like your attitude!" He playfully punched Blitzo on the shoulder. Crimson looks over to Millie.
"Ah you must be Mildred right I heard great things about you from Wrath. Heard that you have a high body count of dead bodies in your hands. Mox should learn from you on how to get his hands dirty." He said as look over to Lobo
"And you must be Lobo, have heard and seen many great things about you. Going toe to toe with an overlord, defeating a Goetia and killing Angels." He said as he led the group to the mansion.
"Well, I hope you're all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for ya." Crimson made his way back to the mansion and Blitzo followed.
"Hey, honey, why haven't I met your pa before?" Lily asked.
Moxxie fumbled nervously with his large red bowtie. "Uh well, y'know it's…it's just never been a…"
"Hey! You two, move it before it gets cold," Crimson called.
"Look, look, Lily, we can talk about it later," said Moxxie. Lily took his hand and they followed Blitzo Millie and Lobo inside as Crimson smiled at them. Once the imps and hound were inside, Crimson's face turned serious. He snapped his fingers and headed inside. His lackeys followed suit and the incubus closed the door behind him.
0 0 0
Inside the mansion, Crimson slammed a glass onto the counter. He put ice cubes in it and poured in HellFire Aged Scotch. Behind him was a large glass cabinet with wine glasses, beer bottles and a fish head. One of the bottles had a skull on it. The cabinet light glowed a greedy green. The dark green wallpaper around the manor showed white designs of shark jaws and dead fish bones.
"So, Blitz, ya always been a hitman?" Crimson strolled to Blitzo, who sat in a high comfortable chair.
"No, no, not always," Blitzo replied, taking the drink from him. "I was in the circus for a long time."
"Show business!" Crimson exclaimed with both fingers pointing in gun-like gestures. He sat down. "Good money in that."
They both grinned at each other, Crimson taking out his cigar from behind his suit and Blitzo sipping his drink. Lobo sat on a single seat sofa while Moxxie Lily and Millie sat together on an adjacent couch, looking visibly uncomfortable.
They couldn't help but notice the array of shark jaws, bloodied imp horns, spiked collars, and black wings on display like hunting trophies all around the manor rooms. The round lights overhead and the fire in the fireplace also glowed green.
Moxxie then spoke up. "What are we doing here…sir?"
"Moxxie, I raised you better than that," Crimson remarked condescendingly, lighting his cigar. "Ya know there's no business before dinner. Besides, we're still waitin' on one more."
With a sudden kick to a nearby door, a shark barged his way into the house, making an entrance. He was tall and thin, with crosses around his nostrils, a scar near his eye and black hair in a mohawk style and a small hat. He also had a white bone above his groin, long pants, and a dark jacket. His eyes glowed teal green with hypnotic spirals as he pointed his fingers out in a pose and wiggled.
"Woo-hoo-hoo, what is up, party people?!" he called.
"Chaz?!" Moxxie, Lily and Millie cried at the same time. Then they looked at each other and pointed. "Wait, what?!"
"You know him?!" Moxxie asked, flabbergasted.
Lily groaned and slapped her forehead. "You remember that "ex" I was talking about?"
Chaz walked over and hugged Moxxie, Lily and Millie from behind the couch, much to their discomfort and surprise.
"Looks like I got three big sex reunions today!" Chaz bragged before adding in a sing-song voice, "How lucky am I?!"
"Did you date him, too?!" Millie asked Moxxie.
"Ha, yeah," Chaz smirked. "No big deal, but I usually bone half the people in any room I'm in…"
Blitzo spat, "Are you fucking kidding me?! There's someone who's fucked bmthe three of you?!" He said while Lobo growled at Chaz
Moxxie pushed himself out of Chaz's arms. "It was a long time ago."
"But I still remember it like it was yesterday," Chaz began. "You, a fledging mafioso! Me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle! It was like…" he spoke fondly, his eyes gleaming, "…it was written in the stars!"
Blitzo scoffed, his drink clinking. "Ha! Moxxie in the mafia! That's fucking rich!"
Blitzo then looked around. He spotted a framed picture of Crimson shaking the hand of a mob boss imp, wearing glasses, a suit, and a rose. On the mantle near white candles with emerald flames, he spotted a larger picture of Moxxie and his family.
The frame was decorated with four snail shells with eyes. Crimson sat proudly in his chair as if it were a throne. Little Moxxie stood by his father, wearing light blue clothing. He held his tail in fear, looking like he was about to cry. Closer to the shadows was Moxxie's mafia mother, Rosa.
She wore white heeled shoes with pink bows on them, a Latin-American-style dress/pollera with blue ruffles and red stripes, and a white shirt. She held a small bouquet of flowers in her hands and had a red flower on her head of long dark hair. Her horns were black and straight. She wore hoop earrings and a necklace. Like Moxxie, she was originally from Wrath.
The door burst open and a thick loan shark with a blue sweater growled and dragged in a body bag with a dead mafia shark demon inside. More loan sharks stood in the room, holding their guns as Crimson grinned.
"Oh shit," Blitzo remarked, coming to the realization.
"You've never told me this before," a concerned Lily said to Moxxie.
Moxxie lowered his eyes. "I-I don't really like to talk about this part of my life. I first saw Chaz at my induction in the family. Our eyes met from across the room. And there was just something about him…something that was…magnetic!"
After Moxxie told his story, he quoted from the Titanic, his face half in shadow, "It's been eighty-four years."
Lobo gave Moxxie a deadpan looked that said really.
Blitzo narrowed his eyes. "Isn't that from that 'boat' movie?"
Millie looked skeptical. "Did any of that stuff actually happen?"
"Oh yeah!" Chaz added, licking his lips. "Buddy skipped over the jizz covered parts."
Moxxie glared at Chaz, then turned back to Lily. "Anyway. Things changed when we went on a heist together…"
After Moxxie had finished the rest of his story, he said, "Once I got out, I never looked back."
Millie growled at Chaz again.
"At least Moxxie didn't have to worry about Chaz being rough in the sack and him roaming his eyes upon other nearby lady imps," Millie muttered in anger. "Not to mention hittin' on my sister…"
Chaz glanced with a nervous laugh, pulling at his jacket collar. "Well, heh, like you said, it was a long time ago."
Millie bared her sharp yellow fangs, flames in her eyes. She spoke in a demonic voice, foaming at the mouth, "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"
She brandished her dagger and swiped at Chaz. "Whoa, the fuck?! Crazy bitch!" Chaz cowered behind Crimson's armchair.
Millie took the dagger out of the couch and lunged toward him.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Lily, Moxxie, Lobo and Blitzo held her back. "Hold on a second!" Crimson had his hands up.
"You're gonna die, bitch!" Millie spat at Chaz, pointing her weapon.
Everyone then froze as an imp with black hair dressed in a maid uniform announced in a low Italian voice, "Dinner is served."
0 0 0
Dinner consisted of the finest mortadella sausagemeat, (Rosa's old recipe), focaccia bread on the side, green peas, and potatoes. Roses were in a vase at the center of the rectangular table. Moxxie held his fork and stared sadly at his meal.
Blitzo glanced around, while Millie and Lily shot Chaz a murderous look as she cut her meat. Crimson downed a shot of sambuca, not paying attention to the awkwardness. Lobo was put off at Crimson character. Purple and yellow seaweed stood off to the side of the room. They all sat in red fan-like chairs.
Blitzo bluntly remarked, "So, this is aggressively uncomfortable."
"I suppose you wanna know why you're here," Crimson began.
Blitzo raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, so what gives? I mean, you know we kill people on Earth, right? We don't normally do contracts for locals so, if you wanna do business with us, you gotta…"
Crimson held up a hand. "I don't wanna do business with I.M.P." He pointed with his fork. "I wanna do business with Moxxie."
Moxxie nearly jumped out of his seat. "Me?!"
"Yeah, kid! I summoned I.M.P. to be sure you'd show." Crimson briefly held up his knife and then took his glass of wine in one hand. "Because…well…we're bringin' Chaz into the family." Chaz grinned smugly.
"What?" Moxxie asked. "Since when can just anyone join the family?"
Crimson drank his wine with a scowl. "Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that I had to pick up once you left! Now Chaz is going to lighten the load."
Moxxie clenched his fists in anger as Blitzo ate. "Wait, I thought you always hated his guts."
"Well, I don't know if I exactly 'hated' him…"
"You called him a 'friendless horse-fucker' and said we lived a 'shitty' lifestyle when we dated."
"Yeah, well I was wrong," Crimson shrugged half-heartedly. "You've been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change. And so has Chaz."
"Yeah," Chaz added. "I've grown. Matured. And recently came into millions!" He held up his fork proudly. He shrugged. "But ya know, mostly the mature thing."
Chaz burped after finishing his meal. Crimson gave him a look, and he lowered his eyes in apology.
Blitzo rolled his eyes and held his hands forward. "Ohh, okay, okay, so the 'friendless horse-fucker' over here gets a little moolah and suddenly it's worth wasting our time over?"
Chaz leaned back. "Well, I'm the whole 'package', if you know what I mean!" He pointed at his crotch with both fingers. He did a song-song voice, "I've got a big dick!" as the imps and hound glared at him. All the plates were now empty.
"But what does any of this hafta to do with Moxxie?" Lily inquired.
Crimson put down his utensils and wiped his face after finishing his meal. "There's gonna be a ceremony tomorrow." He held up his glass of wine. "Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to ignoring your family to your heart's content." He took another sip.
Lily scowled and stood up. "Maybe he wouldn't 'ignore his family' if they didn't force him to rub elbows with a no-good shark-tooth fuck face!" She pointed her gun at Chaz's neck and he flinched.
"'Ey, look, everybody, relax," Crimson said. "I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don't you stay here and get some rest? We'll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared."
"Yes, sir," Moxxie muttered.
"Mox?" Lily asked.
"And Mox, I even went through the trouble of making the house more to…your kind of liking," added Crimson.
Crimson pressed a button under a slot in his armchair. A horde of rainbow dildos popped up from behind the walls as the trophies on the walls flipped over. Four purple ones were above Moxxie's disgusted face. More purple dildos popped up on the chairs and orange ones came from behind the flowers.
One big red one appeared in the fireplace. Another orange one popped from behind the seaweed plant. A yellow hanging ball opened up, releasing penis-shaped rainbow confetti, a trumpet "ta-da" sound and a banner that read "CONGRADULATIONS, GAY!" in rainbow letters. Even the chandelier candles were phallic.
Moxxie was furious. Lily, Lobo and Millie made a disgusted face at the bouncing dildos on the chairs.
"Wait…what…what do you think I'm into?!" Moxxie exclaimed.
Crimson shrugged. "What? This is the kind of shit gays like, right?"
Lily growled again with a look of disgust, muttering curse words.
"Okay, first off, dad, I'm bisexual," said Moxxie.
"Yeah, gay. A frocio!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, I'm not a faggot!" Moxxie pushed a purple dildo away. "Secondly, I don't know a single person of any sexuality who would enjoy this!"
Blitzo and Chaz laughed out loud and cheered.
"Ah, there's dicks in the walls! Oh, that's fucking hilarious!" Blitzo exclaimed.
"My kind of decorations!" Chaz added with a snicker.
"See, they like it," Crimson shrugged.
Lobo, Lily, Moxxie, Chaz, Millie, and Blitzo stood up. A tall green serpent-like shark with red hypnotic eyes moved toward the door, showing the imps to their rooms upstairs.
"A moment, Moxxie!" Crimson barked. Moxxie froze in fear on the spot.
"Just give me a minute, Lily," said Moxxie, as he inched back into the dining room. "I'll be there."
Chaz reached out to grab Millie, but she snapped her teeth at him and Lobo gave him a death stare which made him back off. Lily looked at Moxxie in concern before the loan shark closed the door.
A tense silence filled the room, Crimson sitting with his hands folded.
"So, you think you're too good for this family now?"
"What?" Moxxie asked.
Crimson beckoned Moxxie with a finger. "C'mere."
Moxxie walked nervously forward around the table.
"I-I don't understand…"
Crimson slapped Moxxie hard in the face and the imp fell to the floor.
"You think you're just gonna get to walk away from this family and never come back?!"
Moxxie sat up, holding his scratched cheek.
Crimson pointed at him with an accusing finger. "You're dead wrong, Mox! As a matter of fact…"
He yanked Moxxie up by his collar. "…the only thing you're right about is that obnoxious piss-stain can't get made! Not unless he marries in!"
"'Marries?' But, but who would he…?"
"Who do you think?! This family needs that money and it's about time your pathetic ass was useful for something!"
"Sir," Moxxie began. "I'm already married. I-I can't…"
"Poco Stronzo! You think I give a shit about your stupid ragazza? C'mon, Mox!"
"Look at me, cagna," Crimson sneered, grabbing Moxxie's face. "One way or another, you're gonna to do what I fucking say. Don't cross me like your mother did. Now get to bed Moxxie. You have a big day tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," Moxxie whimpered.
"Oh, and Mox," Crimson added, eyes narrowed in malice. Moxxie fearfully backed up toward the double doors. "If you ever talk back to me again, you and that pretty little thang ya brought here will be going home in boxes. Cofanetti. Capeesh?"
"Yes, sir," Moxxie whimpered again, before reaching for the doorknob and rushing up the stairs.
0 0 0
Moxxie made it to the top of the stairs, holding the railing that looked like fishing spears. A tall green shark demon leered down at him and mentioned to the door.
"Wait!" Lily called from the far end. "How come we aren't…"
"Crimson wants you all to stay in separate rooms," said the shark.
"Why?" Lily asked in disbelief. "Moxxie?"
She took his hands.
"It's just one night, Lily," Moxxie said, somberly. "It's gonna be ok my love okay." Moxxie smiled half-heartedly.
"Mox?" Lily asked, concerned. "Are you okay?"
Moxxie let go. "I'm fine. Please, don't worry, sweetie." They clasped hands again.
"You know you can tell me anything," said Lily. "Right?"
Moxxie glanced around, eyeing the shark.
"Right, yes, everything's fine."
Lily put her hand on the side of Moxxie's head. "We're partners, Mox." Moxxie lowered her hand. "It's just my dad. It's okay, really."
Moxxie kissed Lily's hand. "It'll be over tomorrow."
"Okay. I love you." They kissed.
"I love you too," Moxxie finished, as they separated.
"Good night," Moxxie said sadly, as he lowered his hand. Moxxie went into the room and turned on the light.
"What the?!" he bellowed in anger. "Fucking why?!" He put his hand over his face.
The bedroom walls were covered with portraits of Chaz in sexual positions and poses. In several, he was grinning and shirtless, one of them, he had his tongue out and was smoking in another. In the bathroom, a shirtless portrait of Chaz stared at Moxxie and read "Nice cock!"
Moxxie washed his face, glumly, then went back into the bedroom. He pressed a switch and Chaz rose up from a hole in the floor.
"Like what I've done with the place?" Chaz mused. He lounged on a heart-shaped bed with a pink cover and two headboards shaped like purple hearts with gold trim. There were round pillows on the bed and pink heart pillows. Several cans had "lube" labeled on them in white.
Moxxie turned around. "Uh…just get out of here!"
"Come on, Mox!"
Chaz turned on a switch shaped like a pink butt plug. "CUM ZONE" lit up in neon white letters in the center. A pink neon arrow with hearts and "FUCK HIM!" glowed pink on one wall and "OH YEAH! HAVE SEX WITH ME!" glowed on the other side.
"We used to have so much fun here! Remember?" Chaz pulled an angry Moxxie close. Moxxie shoved him away.
"I'm married, Chaz! And even if I weren't, I would never…"
"Never what?" Chaz asked. "Take you to Cum Town again?" He poked his finger through a hole in his hand for emphasis.
Moxxie crossed his arms in an X shape and seethed in disgust. "You are so gross! Just leave me alone!"
Chaz just grinned. He poked Moxxie in the face, reached down toward his groin and spun him in a dance. "I know what you want most, Moxxie, Poxxie." He pointed two fingers playfully. "How about a sexually charged…"
He spoke in a high sing-song voice, "…musical number! Hey! You always love those."
Chaz pressed a pink button labeled "Sextremely HAWT Sex Music" in white. A disco ball appeared and lit up. The room turned pink, violet, and blue as electronic jazz music played. Chaz's voice autotuned as he sang into the microphone.
"Ow!
Woah-oh, hoo, woah-oh, yeah-yeah!
It's Chaz time!
Moxxie, I see you lookin' at me, lookin' at you
Wondering when I'm gonna crack you open like a walnut
And the answer is soon (walnut)"
Chaz blew smoke from his vape into Moxxie' face. He grabbed Moxxie and pulled him into a dance. He poked his head and stroked his face with a finger.
"Now I'm feelin' what you're feelin' and I'm feelin' that you wanna feel my feelings
And fee-the feel-you feel me? (sax-o-phone)
Yeah, so let me get a little something off my chest, while I blow a hot emotional load
Onto yours"
Chaz tossed his hat into Moxxie's face.
"Moxxie, feeling foxy
Wanna get a good taste of your boxxy
Well I got two tickets to pleasure land (oh baby)
I'm now here to have your wayhey, yeah, with my sexual bod-ay-ay
With my sensual body yeah-yeah-yeah, (so naughty)
So long, yeah!"
Chaz touched and tickle Moxxie's butt and pulled him uncomfortably close. He posed shirtless on the bed, moving his hand up his body.
"BIG DICKS" glowed from behind him, hearts on the i's.
Chaz then threw his trousers into Moxxie's face. Moxxie then growled and shoved him out the door. Chaz then stood outside the door, shirtless and confused in black boxers with a white anchor on them.
Moxxie slid onto the floor and sobbed, head in his hands.
Lily paced back and forth in her room. She heard a knock on the door.
"Moxxie?" she perked up and ran to the door to open it. To her dismay, Chaz posed with a sharp-toothed grin.
"What do you want?!" she barked.
Chaz swayed into her room and began to sing "Whoa, whoa…", but Lily held her gun to his throat.
"Damn it, this usually works," Chaz breathed in surprise. He fell and Lily slammed the door.
Chaz stood up and wiggled both eyebrows playfully as he came across the third door. It opened.
"Hey there, good looking," Chaz mused flirtatiously.
Blitzo grinned, too. Now was the chance for him to find out what Chaz was up to!
"Oh, I was wondering how long it would take for you to make a pass," mused Blitzo.
"Does that mean you're…down to clown?"
"Yeah, what, you'd think I would violate my friend's trust by sleeping with their ex, especially one who fucked them over the way you did?"
"I'll show you all of the things they liked in the sack," Chaz sang.
"Deal!" said Blitzo and pulled a grinning Chaz into the room.
Blitzo and Chaz soon had rough sex in the other room.
"Ew! The fuck! Ew!" Blitzo cried.
Moxxie tossed and turned in bed, annoyed by the noise and grunts. He briefly put a pillow over his head and then scrolled through his cell phone. His phone read "I don't cry" on the back. He checked his hell Facebook account. His profile came up labeled "Moxxie Knolastname" and a red and black pistol as his banner. His profile read: "Assassin at I.M.P. Lives in Imp City, Pride. From Greed. Married to Lily Knolastname." Another tab read "Afterlife events."
Moxxie's Facebook friends were Blitzo, Lily, Millie, Lobo, Mayberry, Loona, Verosika, Octavia, Randall, Oliver, and Steve. "Told Randall to break a leg, then he did! LOL! Guess who's starring tonight instead?"
Moxxie then browsed through the many pictures of him and Lily. Blitzo got close to the camera in one picture, much to Moxxie's annoyance. Lily posed with a downward sword in another. A couple pictures showed Lily posing. Tears welled in Moxxie's eyes, and he wiped them away. He looked at a picture of both of them smiling at a restaurant together, holding hands. Moxxie had a dark collar shirt and Lily wore a black dress.
She had a pink flower in her thick black hair. He swiped right and another picture showed Lily smiling at Moxxie in bed next to him, Moxxie covering his eyes with a smile. Next, Moxxie and Lily were smiling together, holding mugs with the Phantom of the Opera mask icons on them. The last one showed Moxxie and Lily kissing each other at their wedding. They were on a sunny balcony. Moxxie wore a white suit with a bow tie and Lily wore a dress with a black top and lavender-colored ruffles down toward the bottom. She had flowers in her long neat hair and a bouquet of colorful flowers of pink, red, purple and white in her hand.
Moxxie sighed and buried his face into his pillow. He could get the wedding with Chaz over with and not face the wrath of his father. After all, Moxxie once wanted to marry Chaz. But the cost of losing Lily was too great…and things were different.
Lily…his beautiful, loving wife, cared for him wholeheartedly. She didn't care that he wasn't seen as "macho enough" to her family…she wholeheartedly embraced his personality and love of theater. In her smile and her face, he was reminded of his mother. Rosa had radiated feminine love and at the same time, formidable strength and power, just like Lily.
Moxxie took several deep breaths.
His father had taken his mother from him. He was not going to let the same thing happen to his remaining family. Moxxie then realized deep inside himself, underneath all his fears…he'd rather face death than lose the one he loved.
"Guess I'll have to do this alone," he thought. His yellow eyes glowed with a newfound determination.
0 0 0
Meanwhile in the other bedroom, a nude Chaz and Blitzo were passed out on the bed after a wild sexual session. Condom wrappers and their clothes littered the floor. Chaz muttered, "Oh, I got a big dick," in his sleep. Chaz rolled over and pilled the black jacket toward him, exposing Blitzo to the stale air. But Blitzo wasn't asleep. Quietly, he lifted himself out of bed. He put on his brown horse boxers. He picked up Chaz's jacket and draped it over himself, his cloven hooves tapping the floor. He fiddled with the pockets, finding nothing.
"Okay, fucker, nobody who's that bad in bed can score three hotties that easily. I know you gotta be hiding something."
Blitzo glanced at Chaz's long sharp tail that moved. He saw the bone that was on Chaz's pants. He lifted up the bone and a label with Mammon's joker-like label read "Mammon Suit Rental." He pulled out a pair of car keys, clicked it with a smirk, and snuck out of the bedroom. Blitzo's silhouette walked down the path outside the manor.
Blitzo looked around and came to a parking lot. He saw three cars, a black one, a tan one, and a magenta convertible with pink flames decorated on it and sharp arrow headlights. He pressed the button and four red lights flashed from the middle car and a chirp sounded. "HGECOK (Huge cock) was on the license plate. Blitzo unlocked the car and peered inside. There was a black shark hanging from the front mirror and an octopus-like figure wearing a dress on the dashboard. He lifted the center compartment between the seats, only to find a bunch of junk. He opened the glove compartment and found more junk.
In his hands were several pieces of paper. One letter to Chaz read: "EVICTION NOTICE: Listen you asshole, have the fucking house by the 6th of this month, or we will kill you. We do NOT care about you and your huge cock. Fuck you." There were several bills.
Blitzo popped open the trunk to see more junk and trash inside. He saw a tire, tickets, bags, empty beer bottles, and a bowl. He reached into a white sack and tossed aside a candy wrapper and a bottle of "wet lube." At last, he found a crinkled stained piece of paper that had a list in black font and a dick drawing on it.
"CHAZ'S MASTUR PLAN: 1. Rent Suit. 2. Convince Crim I'm rich. 3. Marry Moxxie to get into family. 4? 5. Profit! $$$
Blitzo seethed. "Oh, fuck that! No one fucks with ML's marriage but me!"
A green syringe suddenly struck Blitzo's neck. The imp cried out as black blood spurted out. Blitzo groaned and collapsed forward into the trunk. Chaz snickered as he closed the trunk door. He grinned, eyes glowing teal, "Sorry babe, you're not the only junk in my trunk!" Then he sighed, "Damn it, that was not a good one!"
Cars pulled up to the front of the manor outside. Crimson grinned as he poured drops of black poisonous liquid into a mug. The drops blended with the brown hot liquid and the mug had a dead fish design on it. A shark mafia member poured death black coffee for Crimson. Crimson grinned until Chaz got close to Moxxie's spiked mug. Annoyed, he shooed Chaz away with a hand and pointed at an adjacent seat. Chaz shrugged and began to angrily speak, but a tired Moxxie entered and he sulked off.
"Hey, hey, the man of the hour!" Crimson declared. "You ready to get started?"
"Wait, where's Blitz?" Moxxie asked. "And where's Lily, Millie and Lobo?"
Chaz put a finger to his chin in thought, his eyes shifting. "I think I saw them head outside. He said something about 'needing some fresh air' or something."
"Why don't you grab them so we can get moving?" Crimson asked with a grin.
Moxxie took a deep breath and walked toward his father.
"What you looking so glum for, kid?" Crimson asked. "It's your wedding day! Best day of your life!"
Moxxie paused and looked at Chaz who gave him a sharp-toothed smirk.
Moxxie's brows furrowed, and he closed his eyes. "I'm not doing it."
"What was that?" Crimson asked. "I couldn't make it out over the sound of you being a whiny cagna!"
Moxxie slammed his hands on the table and stood up. "I said, I'm not doing it, sir. I've spent my whole life being afraid of you, but I'm not giving up the only good thing I've ever had just so you can keep your fragile little sense of control over everything. Lily is a good woman, a better woman than I deserve, and there's nothing that scares me more than hurting her. Not even you."
Crimson locked eyes with the red-eyed shark and nodded. The mafia shark crept behind Moxxie.
"I'm leaving, dad. And if you or Herpes the Clown here…"
"Hey!" Chaz growled.
"…try to stop me, you'll learn firsthand just how good I've gotten at my job!" Moxxie got into his father's face as he spoke.
Rough shark hands pulled Moxxie's head away, holding him down. Moxxie screamed as the other hand shocked Moxxie with a taser. Moxxie banged his head on the table and crumpled to the ground.
"Now take care of the others," Crimson ordered his men.
0 0 0
The wedding was taking place in the mansion courtyard. The rows of seats were covered with teal cloth and a pink aisle was littered with small flowers. White-teal round string lights decorated the walls. An archway over the podium displayed pink flowers. Only a few people were in the audience, three tough muscular mafia sharks, one of them smoking a cigar.
"Is everybody here?" asked the tan-green hammerhead shark priest. He wore black robes with red trim. A red upside down cross was on his tall hat. His eyes glowed yellow and he held a book with an upside-down red cross on the cover.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Crimson declared with a sinister grin. "Don't worry about it, let's get this thing rolling, eh?"
A towering Chaz stood nearby in a dark suit with a red bowtie and the white bone on his pants. Crimson's tall shark mafia stood guard behind him. Crimson held a struggling Moxxie who had his hands tied behind his back. Moxxie was wearing a white wedding dress and over his mouth was a gray gag with a red smile of fangs drawn on it.
"Aww," Chaz complained. "You told me all the chairs would be filled!"
Crimson sighed in annoyance and pulled out a remote. He pushed a button and bouncing purple dildos popped out onto all the seats. Smiley faces were drawn on them. A big mafia shark and a thin shark jumped in surprise in their seats. Then the big shark nodded fast after the other shark gave him a "You down to fuck, later?" look.
"Satisfied?" Crimson asked.
"Fuck yes!" replied a pleased Chaz.
The priest spoke. "Will you, Chazwick Thurman, take Moxxie Kno…last…name to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"Oh yeah," Chaz mused.
"And do you, Moxxie…whatever, take Chazwick Thurman to be your lawfully wedded…uh…"
Moxxie struggled to free himself from his father's grip, but Crimson pulled him back. Crimson forcefully moved Moxxie's head in nodding motions. "Look at that! He's just so fucking happy to be here!"
0 0 0
Lily paced back and forth in the parking lot, looking for Moxxie with Lobo and Millie. They were about to leave when they saw Chaz's car trunk shake. Lobo approached the car with Millie and Lily behind him as they opened the trunk a drugged Blitzo was surprised by them.
"Oh, hey guys, you found me," he slurred. "Who's your friend?"
"Friend?" they said as Lobo's ears twitched as he heard movement behind him.
Lobo instincts activated as he sensed two shark goons grinning, about to attack them from behind. In a flash, Millie and Lily began slicing up the thinner shark as they repeatedly stabbed him over and over. Lobo leaped over the big shark, landed behind him and forced his head in the middle of the trunk, slammed the trunk down and crushed his head with the trunk door. Black demon blood spilled everywhere. The shark's head was in Blitzo's hands. Millie helped Blitzo out of the trunk and he shook the blood off.
"What is going on?!" asked Millie.
"That seductive dick-hole is trying to marry Moxxie and he's not even rich!" Blitzo responded.
"Moxxie!" Lily called in a panic.
Lily pulled Blitzo forward in urgency with Lobo and Millie in tow. Lobo with Millie on his back raced down the path to the front of the house, but to Lily's dismay, a metal shutter closed over the door. More metal shutters closed over the windows and over the gate to the courtyard.
"Everything's locked down!" Lily cried. "How are we gonna get in?!" As Lobo was about to grab them and jump over the building Blitzo had another idea.
Blitzo pulled out a spare key from his pocket and came up with a plan. He pulled Lily, Millie and Lobo into Chaz's car and turned the key into the ignition hole. The RPM dial moved up. Blitzo pressed a button for the radio station and various stations popped up as he switched them around.
"MAMMON CHANNEL " played the Loo-Loo Land theme song.
Blitzo switched to "Station 69." Then to "Lusty Tunes." Then to "Station 66.6." Then to "Station 80.085 (Boobs)". Finally, he found the perfect one: "WRATH'S #1 F*CK YOU UP HITS."
Blitzo clicked his seatbelt and moved the stick to reverse.
"Buckle up guys," Blitzo grinned. "We're doing a Shrek!"
They backed the car up at a high speed…and crashed through the garden wall. Smoke fumed from the car and the headlights looked like angry white eyes.
Doing a Shrek quote, Blitzo stumbled out and shouted, "I object!" before collapsing from the drugs in his system.
Lily leaped from the damaged car and landed on her feet in a fighting stance, one palm on the ground. Her eyes glowed a menacing yellow. Lobo and Millie right behind her to back her up
"You want my husband…you're going to have to fucking kill me!"
Crimson rolled his eyes, snapped his fingers, and pointed at them. At least a dozens of Crimson's men readied themselves to attack.
A rock song called "Crashin' A Motherfuckin' Wedding" blared from the Wrath radio station. Lily and Millie screamed the song out loud to Chaz as they began attacking the mafia sharks, sending a clear message to him.
(Ooh, oh-ooh, oh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh-ooh)
"Oh I ain't a stranger to your thorns
Think I'm a damsel, now you get the horns
Lay low, my dear, I'll get you outta here
I ain't a damsel, I'll make that clear (She'll make that clear)
(Ooh) Just try to stop the reckoning that's comin'
(Oh-ooh) Lay down your head boy, can't you hear those beats a drummin'
(Oh-ooh) Be it as it may, by death do us part
(Oh-ooh) Think fast cause momma's gonna tear out your heart
(Momma's gonna tear out your heart) (Oh,oh-yeah-yeah)
(Momma's gonna tear out your heart) (Oh)
(Soon you'll have no heart) (Oh-ooh)
(Ooh) Giddy up, little bitch boy, you're dead
(Oh-ooh) Giddy up, little bitch boy, you're dead
(Oh-ooh) You tried to take him like you didn't know
(Oh-ooh) He was mine, and taken, now reap what you sow
(Giddy up) (Giddy up) (Giddy up) (Ooh)
(Reap what you sow) (Reap what you sow) (Oh-ooh)
(Oh-ooh) You tried to take him, like you didn't know
(Oh-ooh) He was mine, and taken, now reap what you sow"
Lily pounced in the air, claws out. She landed on a shark's face and tore off the skin from the shark's upper mouth and face. She then ripped open the jaws and turned to face another goon. The shark man gasped as Lily climbed toward his head and tore out his shark skull with one hand. With the shark spine, she attacked another thin green shark, wrapping it around his neck and choking him before diving her dagger into his face.
Millie jumped onto a chair, dodging a bullet. She spun through the air and sliced the shooter shark clean in half with her knife. Another shark leaped at her, but she spun him around and slammed him onto the ground. She tore out his teeth and broke apart the jaws to use as weapons. She used the jaws to crunch on the arm of another long-haired shark demon wearing a suit.
She maneuvered the shark's gun to fire at another shark mafia member, then proceeded to shoot the longhaired demon in the face. An eye hung out. Everyone looked on in horror as Millie chewed on the shark demon's blue heart like a ravenous feline and spat it out. Lobo looked so proud of her as he let out a tear.
More mafia sharks cackled at her, surrounding her, but Millie stood ready with her weapon. She spotted their reflections in her blade. She spun around and stabbed at the smaller demons. The larger shark grabbed her arm as Millie tossed another shark aside. She spun around and ripped off her captor's arm and face. Another demon got stabbed in the face as well.
Crimson yelled to his men. "What the fuck are yall waiting for. Get Them!"
One demon hung from the archway by his entrails. Crimson tore the demon down and released the intestine noose. He shoved the shark demon forward…only for the demon to get cut into sushi by Millie. Another lackey fell on top of Crimson.
Meanwhile, Lily had forced a dildo in another shark's mouth and gored his eyes out. A shark grabbed hold of her throat and the struggled, until Lily shoved a dildo into his face then right into his butt. A stab to the neck finished him off. Lily narrowly avoided a bullet fired by a shark behind her.
She grabbed a dildo, walking on top of the chairs and swatted the bullets away as she twirled it. She batted the bullet back to him and it blew up in his face. She fought with a mafia imp demon, knocking his knife away and slapping his face with her tail. She used the dildo to trip him from under his feet… and he got skewered from the dildo poles.
WHAM!
A big shark hit Millie with a chair and sent her backwards into a car.
Blitzo and Lobo covered for her, Blitzo holding a crowbar and Lobo coated his hand with armament. "Fuck boy again!"
As Blitzo and Lobo were tag teaming the incubus, Millie shoved a red canister of gasoline into the incubus' mouth. As a fat shark approached, Millie spun Blitzo around and he skewered the shark with his horns, sending black blood everywhere. After drop-kicking the fat shark, she aimed a pistol at the incubus and fired. He instantly exploded and Lobo deadpanned at Millie as he was covered in blood and guts. Millie sheepishly chuckles.
The priest closed his book and left with two pointed fingers, "Fuck this, I'm outta here."
Lily stood over a thick muscular shark, shoved a mafia shark into his mouth, then crushed them both with her elbow. As the thick shark got up, she wrapped a string of lights around his neck. She hopped into the car and stepped on the gas. The car zoomed forward, carrying the choking screaming shark behind it.
Millie, Blitzo and Lobo smiled with a double thumbs up. The lights exploded and the car created flames across the courtyard. The chairs were smashed to pieces as Lily drove through them. Her teeth were bared in a menacing sneer as she drove forward at full speed toward Crimson, Moxxie, and Chaz.
Lily slammed on the brakes and got out of the car as smoke filled the air. Lily punched another shark rushing at her. She cracked her pointed tail like a whop and stared directly at Crimson.
Crimson backed up as Lily tore off the gag and freed Moxxie's hands. Lily and Moxxie danced together, and Lily used a pistol to fire at more sharks in the distance.
"Reminds me of our engagement," Lily said to Moxxie, as she enjoyed the slaughtering fun.
Moxxie's eyes sparkled as he stared at his heroine's wife. "Indeed. Can I please marry you again?"
Lily grinned with a wink and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't mind if…I do."
Lily turned to Crimson. "This ass is mine!" Lily slapped Moxxie's butt and carried him away over her shoulder. Moxxie's face flushed and he grinned in pleasure and relief.
Chaz outstretched his arm in panic. "Hey what about my…"
Millie silenced him with a dildo in his mouth.
Blitzo grinned and called out to Crimson, "By the way, y'all should probably know that Chaz isn't even rich! Okay, check his car! He just played you like a fucking rube!"
Crimson's eyebrow twitched as he folded his arms.
"Later losers!" Blitzo hollered as he tossed the car keys to the ground and was lifted up by Lobo as he summoned a portal to take them back IMP. The Imps turned back and stuck their middle fingers at them as the portal closed.
Chaz struggled and eventually got the dildo removed from his throat, drool from his mouth. Crimson slowly turned his head to Chaz, in an ominous fashion. Chaz laughed nervously with a shrug, his eyes full of fear.
The I.M.P. crew plus Lobo soon made it back to their office. Loona and Mayberry were startled at their sudden appearance before relaxing.
Moxxie was wearing his white wedding dress, Lily's and Millie's clothes were stained with black blood and Blitzo posed in Chaz's jacket. Lobo used his magic to clean them up of the blood.
"Thank you guys for saving me," said Moxxie. "You were all amazing." Moxxie said as Lily hugged him.
They let go. Lily said, "Next time, just tell me if your dad is a psychopath. I can handle it."
Blitzo pulled them together in a hug. "Well, I'm glad everything ended up okay. Good to know we both have daddy issues." He ruffled Moxxie's white hair.
"And uh…our moms…" Moxxie began. "Let's just say Millie is incredibly lucky. Her mom is still alive."
Millie's eyes looked down in guilt. "Mox, I'm sure your mom would be very proud of you. For standin' up to your pa like that."
"I guess so," he said. "Lily…you remind me of her…her name was Rosa." He turned to Blitzo. "Who were your parents, Lobo, Blitz?"
Lobo looked uncomfortable "Well i don't want to bring that up" he said as the crew noticed that and decided not pry.
"Cash Buckzo, my asshole father. Tilla was my mother. Taught me everything in the circus. But ya know, lets' talk sentimental later. I'm just pleased that I got to plow the ex-boyfriend of three of you! Isn't that great!" He hugged them tighter. "Now we are all connected, now we all fucked the same guy!" Millie and Lily rolled thier eyes while Moxxie looked annoyed. Loona still didn't care. And Lobo and Mayberry sweat dropped.
0 0 0 0 0 0
Back at the manor, Crimson hoisted up Chaz's shark jaws onto the wall, "Chaz Thurman" was displayed on a plaque below the trophy. His shadow revealed a menacing horned monster.
Beaten by a wild imp and his own traitorous son. Dozens of his men killed. Chaz, the sleazy conman, now dead by his hand. It wouldn't be long before his business would fail. And a failed business would lead to a failed existence.
Since his son had almost destroyed his legacy, there was no use for him anymore. He was only a wimpy burden that had to…
Crimson remembered dumping the bodies of his men into the lake…
…sleep with the fishes.
With a vengeful growl, Crimson tossed a knife toward a portrait. The knife tore into the forehead of a fearful baby Moxxie…
0 0 0 0 0 0
As Blitzo left for the day the as Lobo and his girl plus Lily and Moxxie still at the IMP and Lobo decided to ask Moxxie about his life with the Mafia.
"Moxxie, can you tell me about your past life with the Mafia? There is something I need to know." Lobo said as Moxxie looked at him in sadness and wondered if he should. Lily puts a comforting hand on her husband back to support him. "It's up to you, Mox. You can share your story or not." She said.
Moxxie shook his head and began telling his story.
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Moxxie, like Lily, was born in the Wrath Ring. He had his parents, Crimson Knolastname and Rosa Knolastname. Rosa was a beautiful, hard-working imp with a rougher side to her. She wore colorful pollera and blue and white diner-style dresses with lots of ruffles. She wore hoop earrings and had a red flower in her long black hair. She had two black straight horns and white freckles on her face like Moxxie. While she was known for her Latin American-style dancing and her delicious meat meals, no one dared mess with her. For she was skilled with wielding a variety of weapons from a young age.
She soon became a purchased wife of Crimson and Moxxie was born. Crimson, greedy from the start, soon grew tired of the dry, less than humble lifestyle in the desert lands. As the head of the family, he decided to move to the Greed Ring when his son became a young kid, and of course, Rosa and Moxxie had to follow him.
Crimson quickly used his charm and cleverness to start off as a salesman. He sold a variety of weapons, drugs, and drinks to a variety of imps. Quickly adjusting to the "survival of the richest" mentality of the Greed Ring, he moved up the ranks. After joining a smaller mafia and killing off rivals, he befriended loan shark bodyguards and incubi. He'd offer his services to other demons but found a way to raise his prices so they'd have no choice but to pay him back extra…or lose their lives in the process. Rebellious gang members conceded to Crim's whims, and he soon became a mafia boss.
Crimson and Rosa trained Moxxie in weaponry at a young age. Moxxie's specialties were long-range weapons, battle tactics, and planning. Crimson encouraged domination and brute strength in his son, but Rosa did her best to steer Moxxie away from murdering in cold blood. Although Rosa was involved in the mafia and enjoyed what wealth they had, there were moments where she drew the line. Rosa loved her son dearly, while Crimson saw Moxxie as more of an asset to the family. Moxxie was in good hands, provided he kept the family rich and their dealings a secret.
Little Moxxie wore a white sweater with a small pink bowtie and was trying to cut his Fiorentina steak at the dinner table with potatoes on the side. Rosa took his plate in her hand. She cut his steak with two knives and smiled warmly at her son. Moxxie smiled back as she handed the plate back to him. Moxxie enjoyed his meal. Crimson glared at his wife.
"Let the boy cut his own meat," he muttered.
"I was just trying to help," she replied.
Crimson moved his foot toward her feet, and she fearfully moved hers back. Crimson stomped his foot in warning. Crimson wore black pointed shoes and Rosa wore her signature white high heeled shoes with pink tips and bows.
Not long after, Moxxie fired his gun at three scarecrow-like targets with white sack heads shaped like imp faces. They had yellow grins and stripped horns. Moxxie fired into each of their chests, right on the bull's eyes. He held his rifle proudly as Rosa stroked his head in approval. He smiled at her.
A green arm then grabbed hold of Moxxie. It was a green loan shark, one of his father's many lackeys. He had a white tank top and a black hat.
"Mox!" he called. "Here's something really cool you can shoot at! Come on, I'll show you!"
He and another loan shark dragged Moxxie over to a roofed wooden section of the junkyard. The sky was a dark gloomy gray, made darker by the smog. Crimson stood flanked by his lackeys. Rosa held up a hand and called "Wait!" but no one heard her.
Moxxie got excited, ready to impress his father with his marksmanship.
Then he heard a man's voice, struggling.
"Crim, you loaned me six thousand souls for my business. I already paid you back the nine thousand souls yesterday!"
"Due to extra tax and my service, I told you that you owed me ten thousand nine hundred and two souls!"
"You never said that before!"
"I say what I want. Business is business and you didn't listen."
"Let go of me!"
"This is what happens to those who don't pay me."
The shirtless imp was hoisted upright, his arms tied to a wooden stake, a red target painted on his chest. His eyes glowed hypnotic green and he had a fearful look on his face. The sharks and incubus moved off to the side.
Moxxie froze.
"Your first living target, Mox!" Crimson said excitedly. "A necessary skill for the family business."
Crimson pulled Moxxie close and pointed at the victim. "Go ahead, shoot him right in the chest like you practiced."
With shaking hands, Moxxie aimed his rifle.
Rosa then snatched it away from him.
"She shoved the rifle into Crimson. "You do it! I'm not letting my son become a killer. Let's go, Mox."
She took Moxxie by the hand and led him away.
Crimson growled angrily from behind.
Moxxie hid under the bed as his parents argued and fought. Crimson slapped his wife hard in the face.
"Cagna!" Crimson spat. "You really think you're doing this family a favor by making our son into a soft sissy?"
"Don't call him that!" Rosa barked, hiding her fear. "I may do everything you ask, but I draw the line when it comes to morality. At least wait until he's older to make the first kill."
"Everyone gets started young," Crimson demanded. "I will not allow my son to taint the image of my family business. He needs to grow some fucking balls and do the necessary deeds!"
"He's just a kid! Murdering in cold blood will scar him for life! I teach him planning and self-defense. He'll be an honorable fighter, not some brute who feeds off of fear!"
"Which is exactly what we do!" Crimson explained. "You think I'm gonna let my son be at the mercy of our rivals or worse, allow him to leave this family? Dead wrong! Mox must be calculating, tough, and not afraid to end anyone who threats our lineage!"
"Well, I'm not gonna let you turn my son into a psychotic murderer! Or one who abuses him every day like you do! At least he shows respect for the dead! You happily kill like a maniacal monster if it means getting moolah at the end of the day!"
"Greed is our home, and here it is survival of the richest."
"W-well, guess what? This place does not feel like home. I-in fact…I'm gonna move back to Wrath with Moxxie!"
Crimson seethed, cupping her face roughly. "If you value this family and your life…you will do no such thing."
With a courage she didn't know she had, Rosa slapped him back in the face. With that, she turned on her heels and left, slamming the door. Crimson stomped after her.
All Moxxie could hear were screams and thumps from the other room.
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The next time Moxxie tried to cut his steak, Crimson narrowed his eyes at Moxxie, holding his cigar. Moxxie whimpered and Crimson growled in warning. He blew smoke in his son's lonely face.
"Come with me," said Crimson after Moxxie was finished eating. "There are two victims that need disposing of."
Crimson took Moxxie out on a wooden boat down a murky trash-filled lake. The boat had slime on it and barnacles with eyes on the side. The sky was a dark ominous gray. Inside the boat were two figured with their hands tied behind their backs. There were sacks over their faces and Crimson had drawn black smiley faces on them.
Crimson stopped the boat and lifted up a cinderblock with rope tied to it. He mentioned to Moxxie to push it into the water. Tears filled Moxxie's eyes.
"Don't cry, boy," Crimson gripped Moxxie's shoulder tightly. "Just do it."
Moxxie's heart broke at the sounds of their victims groaning and whimpering under their gags and sacks. Moxxie thought the pointed tail of the first victim looked familiar. Before Moxxie could take a further look, Crimson shoved him forward. The force made Moxxie push the cinderblock into the water and the first victim toppled overboard.
Moxxie gasped and stared at the dark depths. But Moxxie was soon guided by Crimson toward the second victim.
The imp whimpered and struggled in vain against his bonds. His stripped horns had been cut off. Moxxie stared at his long tail wrapped around the block in curiosity. Moxxie reached for the sack, but his father shoved him back, hitting his face on the cinderblock. He rubbed his nose as more tears fell. The victim spoke behind the gag.
"Please don't! Please no! I have a family! Don't do this! Please don't…!"
Moxxie stared up at the imp for a few more moments and pushed the cinderblock. The imp toppled over into the water. Moxxie watched a few bubbles pop up and then…nothing.
Crimson lifted a rock with a rope tied to it onto the boat. He cupped Moxxie's face roughly.
"Let this be a lesson, Moxxie. This is what happens to those who cross me."
Moxxie saw a variety of things in the water…old cats, cigarette packs, imp horns, shoes, playing cards…
…and bobbling up to the surface was his mother's white high heeled shoe.
Moxxie gasped. "What have I done?" he thought in despair.
Moxxie never saw the two black bloodied horns of his mother on display in his father's bedroom.
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As Moxxie finished his story everyone in the room felt bad for him even Loona who felt bad. Lily patted her husband's head reassuring him as she kissed his cheek. Lobo look at Moxxie and shared his thoughts.
"Moxxie, your mother is alive." He said as moxxie was at first shocked but a look of anger flashes. He jumps at Lobo and held his shirt as Lobo was surprised at Moxxie's action.
"Don't fuck with me Lobo. I saw it with my own eyes. She is dead. What kind of shitty joke are you playing with me after what I told ya." Moxxie said before Lily pulled her husband off Lobo as they looked at Lobo to explain.
"I'm telling the truth, Moxxie , I know where she is right now." Lobo said before pulling his phone and scrolling through his phone before he showed them the picture of Rosa. She is seem to wearing a waitress outfit as she is standing in front of a restaurant in Gluttony. Tears began streaming down his face as he held the phone and looked at the picture of his mother.
"Do you know where she is right now Lobo? Wait, how do you know her" Moxxie asked.
"I met Rosa in Gluttony a couple of years ago at a restaurant she works at and visited every time i went to Gluttony" Lobo said
"Do you think you can take me to her." Moxxie said as Lobo nods his head.
Lobo, Moxxie, Lily and Millie stood up. Loona told Lobo that they will wait at Mayberry house and he nods as he gave them both a kiss. Lobo opens up a portal and the gang can see the colorful sky of Gluttony. They walked through the portal and noticed they were in front of a restaurant.
As they approached the restaurant Lobo turned to Moxxie as he look scared at first because he hope this wasn't a dream. Moxxie look back at Lobo and nods his head. As the group enters the restaurant Lobo leads as they make it to the cashier. The cashier is a 6'1 female red demon with shaved side medium length black hair with red highlights, two horns with the right one broken, she is wearing black jeans and a torn black shirt.
"Hey Lobo didn't know you were bringing friends with you. So table for 5." She asked as Lobo shook his head.
"No, not today Karlach. I was wondering if Lia is here today." He asked as Karlach nodded her head as she went to the kitchen to fetch Rosa. Lobo hid Moxxie behind him so he can surprise Rosa. As the women came from the kitchen Rosa was shocked to see Lobo here.
"Ah Lobo you didn't tell me you were coming today. Do you want me to make the usual today?" She asked as Lobo shook his head.
"No but there is someone that want to meet you." He said as he pushed Moxxie to his mother as Rosa let out a shocked gasp as she saw Moxxie for the first time after so many years.
She shook her raised arms as tears ran down her face as Moxxie jumped into her arms crying as well. She hugged him tightly as she finally got to her son again. The Mother and Son cried into each other as they finally got to hold each other's arms after so many years. Rosa calms her self as she holds Moxxie's face in her hands as she looks at her son.
"Oh mi bebé, te extrañé mucho. Lamento dejarte con ese bastardo. Quería volver y buscarte, pero yo-" ("oh my baby i missed you so much. im sorry for leaving you with that bastard. i wanted to come back and get you but i-") she said before Moxxie hugged his mom. "It's ok Mom, I understand. It doesn't matter now. I really missed you." Moxxie said
Rosa looks at Karlach "You don't mind me leaving early today do you Karlach." She asked as Karlach waved her hands telling her to go.
Lobo opens a portal to Moxxie and Lily's apartment so they can talk there. As the gang walked through Moxxie hugged Lobo and thanked him for everything then let go to catch up with his mother. Millie jumps on his shoulder and kisses his head. "This is sweet of you Lobo." She said as Lobo hummed and followed the imps and waved bye to Karlach.
As they enter the apartment Moxxie led his mother to a couch and went the kitchen to get her a glass of water. Moxxie sat with his mother with Lily on his left. Millie and Lobo sat on the love seat as they waited for Rosa to tell her side of the story.
Rosa tells them how she escaped from Crimson's shitty attempt of killing her. He forgot that she also knowledge of escaping. After he threw in the sewer she was able to cut the ropes from the cinderblock and swam down to the end. She was able to get away and get out of Greed.
After a while she was able to make to the elevator and rode to Gluttony where she hid away from the mafia. Everyday since then she wanted to go back and get Moxxie but she knew Crimson would make their life even more hell. So she stayed low and worked at the restaurant as a waitress.
Then she met Lobo and they became friends ever since as he offered to heal her horns for her. Now here they were as Rosa held onto Moxxie as he listen to her story. Now he was determined to protect her from their father. Rosa decided to stay with Moxxie Lily, and Millie as Lobo says his farewells and returned to his home.