"How did it go this time?" Vader asked as he and Luke walked to the shuttle.

"It was okay," Luke said, looking towards the ground as he said it. After a few seconds he looked up at his father and said, "There's something I have to know. What happens if I can't do this? And please...don't say I will, I have to know...what if I really can't? What then?"

Luke wasn't sure what response he was expecting, but what he hadn't expected was to receive none. The two of them looked at each other and the only sound was the mechanized breathing of his father's respirator.

"Okay," Luke said, "let's try another one..." he cleared his throat and asked, "what happens if when I do finally go back to the flight academy...that I can't make it there? What happens if I wind up dropping out, or get drummed out? Are you...would you be disappointed in me?"

This one, he knew, had to get a response from his father, he just hoped he was ready for whatever it was.

"Luke," Darth Vader told him, "you could never disappoint me, don't you know that?"

"I never wanted to," Luke replied quietly, "but I never really thought about it too much...I never thought it'd be possible, but what if it's true? What if I don't have what it takes to be a pilot? It's all I ever wanted to do, if I don't make it, what then?"

There was a brief silence between them before Vader pulled his son towards him and wrapped one durasteel arm around his back and told him, "Then you will figure out something else. That's all there is to it."

"And you'd still be proud of me?" Luke asked uncertainly.

"Luke, I've always been proud of you, you don't have to do anything to make it so."

Luke felt a sudden and inexplicable sensation rush through his body and it felt like all the blood raced to the back of his head and everything suddenly turned blurry and he felt himself falling.

"Luke!"

It was a short way to fall but it still left an impact. Luke opened his eyes and found himself on the ground, still feeling shaky. To steady himself, he wrapped his arms around his father's leather covered durasteel leg for leverage as he pushed himself to his feet, with everything he'd been put through in the last few months, it wasn't as if he had his dignity to worry about anymore.

"I don't know what happened," he said as he looked up into the tinted lenses.

He felt one of his father's strong arms around his back and pull the boy against him. He also felt his father's other gloved hand gently patting the back of his head.

"It's alright," Vader told him, "just breathe."

It didn't seem to matter how many times he heard it, it always sounded dumb, even if it did work. He slowly inhaled through his nose and heard it come back out as a huff.

"I...I can't make any promises," Luke told his father. "But I'm going to try."

He let out a choked sound as he felt his father's arms hold him tighter.

"That's all I can ask of you, Luke."

"Okay...okay..." Luke quietly murmured to himself as he was met with total darkness once again. In a louder though not anymore certain voice, he said, "Alright, I'm ready."

The only other sound in the room was his father's respirator. Luke felt the strong durasteel arms lock under his armpits and felt himself lifted off his feet and felt everything spinning. He wasn't sure if it was anymore of a nauseating effect by not being able to see anything, or not, he definitely felt his stomach churning in protest but he'd been through this enough times to know he wouldn't throw up, not from this anyway.

Finally he felt his feet touch the ground and he felt like his whole body was spinning, he felt a leather clad arm reach out and hold him upright while he regained his bearings, but he had no idea now which way he was facing. They had done this every day since he'd first been able to knock the droids out of the air while seeing them. They'd been doing it every day since Luke's last visit with the behaviorist, he'd gotten better, but it still wasn't good enough. He was frustrated at his lacking ability but he was determined to keep going, sooner or later he figured his senses had to get sharpened enough he could get more of the droids before they got near him. Like when he first learned to play dejarik, he just mindlessly played his pieces on the holoboard and watched to see what happened, and learned from that what to and not to do. It took him forever to finally get the hang of the game playing it like that, but it made more sense than just having the rules drilled into his head.

Suddenly he was standing there alone, his father was somewhere in the room but no longer supporting him, Luke didn't know where he was either as part of this training. Holding his hand out in front of him, Luke used the Force to summon his light saber to him. He felt the familiar and somewhat comforting sensation of the handle in his fingers. Tightening his hold and operating from memory, he activated the laser blade and slowly inhaled, preparing himself for what was coming.

Slowly turning one way, and another, Luke channeled the Force to detect a new presence in the room. There was nothing, nothing, nothing...something, it was very faint, but there was something, and he could feel it coming towards him. Then there was another, and another, and another...

Luke heard his breaths becoming ragged and felt his chest tighten. He pursed his lips together, willing himself not to call out to his father. He knew Vader was in the room, he could feel the man's presence, but that was it. There was no communication between them either verbally or through their bond in the Force. That was the whole point of this, that Luke had to be able to do this alone.

He got a reading on one of them, to the left, it was above him, it was coming straight at him, Luke waited, willed himself to wait and not blindly lash out. He'd done that too many times already, every time the same way, he panicked, he struck too early. He waited, even though he could feel the others in the room also coming towards him, there was one coming in from his right, two were directly above, no, he had to stay focused on the most imminent threat first. The one coming in from the left.

He heard a mechanical hissing sound as his light saber made contact with one of the droids and he felt as much as he heard it fall to the floor, subconsciously he pulled his feet back a couple inches as if trying to ensure no part of the droid touched him.

The Force screamed at him he was in danger. He spun on his heels and swung directly in front of him and heard another droid explode and fall to the floor.

More of them, there were more of them and they were all coming straight at him. Luke jerked and pivoted from side to side from one splitsecond to the next, he felt his light saber cutting through thin air just as much as he felt the impact of striking the droids. Internally he grimaced and prepared himself for the fact he was going to have screwed up and missed most of them again, and they would have to go through this again tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after.

Luke felt weak and almost went down on his knees, but he caught himself and pushed to stand straight up again. He still wanted to throw up, he felt acid burning from his chest up to his throat, like all his insides were set on fire.

Aside from the monotonous sound of mechanized breathing, and his own haggard gasping breaths, the room was quiet.

"Father?"

The modulated voice responded from the other side of the room.

"Take off the blindfold, Luke."

Despite knowing the exercise was over for the day, Luke kept his light saber activated, until he could actually see for himself the droids weren't coming at him anymore, he just didn't like leaving it to chance. With his free hand he reached up and pulled the blindfold off his head, he blinked a few times to adjust back to the bright lights of the training room. Once they did, Luke closed his eyes and opened them again, sure he was seeing things. What he saw didn't make any sense.

The floor was covered with various internal and external parts of the droids, wires, circuits, sensors, some of them had melted together from their systems shorting out and the heat of the laser.

Luke turned around a couple times to get a full look at the room, and he saw what he saw, but what it meant still wasn't registering with him. He turned to the man in black and asked, confused, "Father?"

It couldn't be. It just simply couldn't be. It wasn't possible.

But it was.

Luke fell to his knees, an incoherent exclamation rising up from his chest and forcing itself out of his mouth. He was only half aware of his father kneeling down in front of him, but he was aware of the feeling of durasteel arms around him and felt himself pulled forward against his father's armored body.

"I did it."

The words came out so softly even Luke himself was only half aware he was saying them. He swallowed hard and said again, louder, "I did it."

"I knew you could," the modulated voice told him.

Luke felt his whole body violently trembling and heard the dry sobs welling in his throat before he felt the tears running down his face. There weren't any proper words to describe what was happening, but he just felt so many things at once: awe, shock, disbelief, and happy, he felt so happy he thought he'd either throw up or pass out, the sensation ran through his whole body and he couldn't contain it, there simply wasn't any way to describe the sense of validation this gave him.

Darth Vader awkwardly and painfully sat on one prosthetic knee on the floor of Luke's room as he held his son in his arms as he listened to the frenzied and labored sounds his son made as he struggled to breathe.

"Luke, calm down."

"I can't!" the boy choked out in a wheezing gasp.

Luke clutched one hand to his chest and said shakily, "Father...my heart's pounding so hard and so fast and I'm scared it's never going to stop."

Vader raised one gloved hand and cradled the back of the boy's head. "It will, but worrying about it is only going to exacerbate it, you need to calm down."

"I can't," Luke replied and added frantically, "This is all my fault Father and I'm so sorry."

With his other hand, Vader slowly patted Luke's back. He'd been drawn out of his meditations by something Luke hadn't been able to shield from him. He'd entered the boy's room and found him largely like this. Luke had tearfully and reluctantly confessed that his use of stimulants hadn't ended once he started seeing the behaviorist. He didn't take them all the time, only on occasions in hopes of holding any and all nightmares about the alien attack at bay, but that didn't seem to matter now, his heart was racing and his breathing was shallow and it was obvious just from looking at the boy he was about as sick as a frog dog.

"Calm yourself, child," Vader told him. "We've been over this already. You don't require medical treatment, this is just something you have to wait out."

It was an old joke, and only a half joke, that the only time children were completely honest was when they were sick or in pain. Vader knew Luke had been honest about the amount of stimulants he'd been using, and honestly, as metered out as they were, it didn't sound to him like Luke's current condition was even a viable possibility as a result of it. It was possible however he'd had a mild adverse reaction, which gave way to an anxiety attack, which Vader remembered all too well from his younger years, could feel just as real and threatening, and even though it was just human nature and therefore a fact as old as time, worrying about it only made it worse, but knowing this never seemed to help anybody stop themselves from doing just that.

"I feel like I'm going to die," Luke whined as he pressed his face against his father's shoulder armor.

"Keep breathing, Luke," Vader told him, "you will be fine."

Luke made a groaning whine of a sound as he said, "Even my eyes are pulsating, everything looks blurry."

"That's because you need to sleep," Vader said.

"I can't!" Luke insisted.

"You have to try," Vader firmly responded.

Luke shook his head frantically even though he could barely open his eyes.

Vader lightly patted him on one shoulder and told him, "Let's get you into bed."

"No, Father, please," Luke weakly begged.

"You will feel better in the morning, it will be all right," Vader told him as he slowly stood up and pulled Luke to his feet.

It was only a few short steps over to Luke's bed, but he looked like it was a mammoth feat. Luke's body was shaking so hard his teeth were practically chattering as he reluctantly pulled down the covers.

"Get in," Vader told him.

Luke crawled in and turned over onto his back. His eyes closed, his head flopped back but before it actually hit the pillow he let out a panicked scream and shot up in the bed. "Father!"

Quicker than even Vader could see, Luke lunged over and tightly clung to his father, and told him, "I felt like I was falling away, I'm scared, Father, please..."

It was going to be a long night.

Vader softly patted Luke on the side of his head and responded, "We will try something else."

Vader slowly sat back down on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed as he held Luke in his arms and felt the boy trembling anxiously and frantically against him, heard the shallow and labored breaths panting and heaving out of him.

"You are all right," he tried to reassure his son, though he knew right now Luke felt anything but, "you need to calm down. Slow your breathing, deeper, easy..."

They were still strained and gasping, but it was a slight improvement anyway. Vader lightly patted Luke's back and told him, "Very good."

"I'm sorry, Father," Luke moaned, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry, I know this is all my fault, I was so stupid-"

"Calm yourself, Luke," Vader told him. "This will pass, you will be all right."

A strangled choking sound caught in Luke's throat as he shook his head, "It doesn't feel like it."

"I know, my son," Vader said, "but it will, you must be patient, and you have to calm down."

Luke sounded near tears. "I can't."

"I am right here," the dark lord told his son, "I will not let anything happen to you. Just close your eyes, and keep breathing."

Luke resisted for a few seconds but quickly gave in, he tightened his hold on his father and Vader listened to his panicked breaths become longer, quieter. Luke still wasn't asleep, but he was far closer to it now.

Darth Vader held Luke close and tried to use their bond through the Force to calm his son, but the boy's resilience was strong.

"Surely this must have happened when you started taking them," he said.

"Hmm?" Luke forced his eyes open.

"The medics said you hadn't eaten for a week, the stimulants would've absorbed right into your system with no resistance, it would have to have been just like this, if not worse."

Luke closed his eyes again and sighed. "At that time...all I cared about was not falling asleep, I didn't pay attention to much else."

Vader remembered when Luke was brought home from the academy, he remembered the shaking, sobbing mess he had been. At the time he'd purely attributed it to the trauma of his attack, then the med scans found the stimulants in his bloodstream, and it made a lot more sense.

"He told you, didn't he?" Luke asked.

"Who told me about what?" Vader asked, his vocoder masking the coyness in his tone.

"My instructor from the flight academy," Luke answered.

"He told me you were too impaired to fly."

Luke made a sound in his throat that might've been a dry chuckle at any other time. "I'd been awake for so long I couldn't even see straight when I walked in that day."

"And you still intended to pilot a ship," Vader pointed out.

Luke shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't see as...I had a choice."

"What do you mean?"

"If I don't complete the training exercises, I fail," Luke opened his eyes again and was slightly more coherent as he explained, "I couldn't do that...and if I didn't stay busy, I'd fall asleep, I couldn't do that either. It...it was a no-win situation. And I couldn't tell you...because...you'd make me come home and drop out of the academy."

Vader shook his head. "Not 'drop out', Luke, I merely pulled you out until you're able to go back."

Luke nodded weakly, "I know that now...I didn't want you thinking I couldn't do it."

"I know you can," his father told him, "but you can't do it when you spend all day fighting your own body."

This setback notwithstanding, Vader could see a world of difference in Luke now, and how he looked after a week without sleep or food. Clearly the boy was in a far better place now, but he still had issues he needed to deal with.

"I can't trust my own body," Luke told him.

The dark lord tilted his head to the side in an inquiring gesture.

Luke looked up at him. "First I had to stay in the med bay and have all those awful exams and tests and, and, everything, and have to wonder if something else was going to happen, if there were anymore aliens in me, and what they'd do. Then I got out of there and I thought I'd be fine, then I can't eat, I can't sleep...I don't know what's going to bring it all back, I don't know what's going to make me flashback...then it feels like I'm losing my mind...how can I not fight my own body when this is what I have to look forward to every day?"

One gloved hand lightly patted Luke on top of his head.

"I understand, Luke," his father told him, "but that is precisely why you've been going to the behaviorist, to learn how to deal with all of this."

"But it's not enough, Father," Luke said. "I'm never going to be able to forget it, I'll never be normal again."

"This isn't helping."

"I know...but for a while I thought it would."

Vader moved his hand and patted Luke on the back. "We all have our lessons we can only learn the hard way."

Luke made a garbled sound that could've been a grunt or a laugh or maybe both. "It doesn't get much harder than this."

Luke heard a low hum caught in his throat. He opened his eyes and realized after a few seconds that he was sitting up on his bedroom floor. No, he was leaning against something, and something held him around the chest.

"Father?" he tipped his head back and immediately saw the grille of his father's mask. He must've already heard the mechanized breathing of his father's respirator but it didn't sink in until now.

"How are you feeling, Luke?"

"What..." Luke realized it was his father's durasteel arms folded over his chest, maintaining a firm but not tight hold on him. "What's going on?"

"It's morning," Darth Vader answered.

Luke blinked. He still wasn't fully awake, and it showed when he groggily asked, "I'm alive?"

"Quite."

Luke inhaled and sighed and groaned tiredly. "Oh, Father...I am so sorry about this whole thing, I know it was so stupid..."

The arm around his chest was gone and he felt a gloved hand patting his shoulder. "Luke, I understand how hard all of this has been for you, I'm aware you are still struggling with all of it, that's why I pulled you out of the academy, you need time to process everything that has happened."

Luke pursed his lips together and nodded shakily. He inched his way off of his father's legs and crawled along the floor a few feet before reaching the corner of his bed. He reached under the bed, then moved on his knees back towards the man in black.

"Father..."

Luke held his arm out towards his father, the dark lord saw the pill bottle in his hand a split second before Luke dropped it in his gloved hand.

Luke shook his head and told his father, "I'm never taking those damn things again."

Vader looked at the bottle in his hand, with his other hand he curled his durasteel fingers, Luke crawled over beside him and Vader wrapped his arm around his son and held him close.

"It will get better," he promised his son.