"Golden Gate Park"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: I don't own any Band of Brothers characters. All original characters in this belong to me

Summary: He stared down at the dark, swirling water under the bridge. A step up and over…and a push off the railing is all it would take. Closing his eyes he swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat. No matter what, they were always there. The men who lived, the men who died, and her…always her. ( Liebgott X OC with an ensemble storyline)

Author's Note: I do no own any Band of Brothers characters and this story is based on the mini-series and not any real life individuals. I started this story last year but looking back I wanted to re-write it with more detail, same initial storyline but hopefully more developed. Thank you for your time and please leave a review!

Chapter Four

Joe stared down at the Army's pathetic excuse for meat moving the brown lump around on his dish. Normally he would eat whatever slop they dished out without much thought but today he found his stomach to be one big knot. It had been so easy to dismiss her, 'the girl', based on the fact that she surely didn't know a damn thing. That she had gotten here on her back and was nothing but a liability. That, just as Sobel had warned, she was weak and they were all worse for her ridiculous desire to be a paratrooper. It had been so goddamn easy to write her off, call her a broad, and hope she fell off the face of the earth.

Her hands were capable, though. Soft and sure but strong all the same, able to complete the task without any fumbling or hesitation. The 'Piece of Shit Strap', as Sobel had dubbed it, was handmade, he felt the crude stitching when he squeezed it in the palm of his hand resisting the urge to throw it in her face. Not because he hated her or because he didn't want her here, but because he hated how she made him feel. If he was being honest he was afraid of her, deeply afraid. She had the potential to pull him in so deep she could destroy him and he knew that the moment she looked into his eyes that first morning on the parade ground. Gray, clear eyes that weren't wholly foreign. In fact, there was something familiar, like he had seen her before somewhere. He didn't know a thing about her and surely his mind was just playing tricks on him, but still…eyes like those a man didn't forget.

"That strap is tight a fuck…I'll give her that much." Joe snapped out of his thoughts as he looked up at Perconte talking with his mouth open, a piece of half chewed army meat rolling around on his tongue. A few seats down the line, Toye sighed loudly.

"It won't work…it's just some gimmick she's using to get in here. Women ain't got a place here, she'll figure it out eventually…". Liebgott was quiet as he listened making occasional eye contact but careful not to look too interested.

"And if we gotta help that along…" Cobb spoke up looking around the table, a smirk on his face. "Well then so be it." A few of the men laughed as Joe looked back toward his dish, not having the heart to laugh along with such a cruel notion but also not wanting to be caught with the strange look that was surely on his face. Jesus…what was this girl doing to him?

Uncharacteristically quiet, Guarnere sighed loudly as he finished the slop on his plate. "She asked Liebgott if he could still fight…" A hush fell over the table as it usually did when Guarnere had something to say. He was a loud mouth but Joe had to give it to him, the guy was a born leader. People listened to him without even knowing why; they just trusted when he spoke it was something important. And it usually was, just like right now. Looking up Joe eyed his fellow soldier as the young Italian shook his head. "She ain't been to no classes, hell I wouldn't have been thinking about that…I mean just get the fucking strap on and get the fuck away from Captain Douchebag." A few of the men nodded and laughed; not many could argue with that. Where Sobel was concerned they were all of the same opinion. "I don't know any broads that think like her…." He left it at that as he turned back to his plate finishing off the meat. There were a few groans and head shakes but nobody said another word about 'the girl'.

Lucy's legs were shaking as she marched back toward her cabin. Exertion and anger wracked her body as she tried her best not to cry. She was filthy, sweat caked, and covered in a dried bloody t-shirt that it seemed every man in camp took notice of and asked her if she had gotten her period. She fought the urge to tell the dumb fucks that blood doesn't squirt out of your chest but resisted and instead stalked in silence. Squeezing the tourniquet in her hand she felt the metal windlass dig into her soft, sweaty flesh. Sobel was such a dick; rifling through her cabin when she was mostly likely running that god forsaken mountain for the umpteenth time. Lucy wanted to tell him that the tourniquet was her private property, as in not issued by the Army, but she reasoned nothing good would come of that so she let it go. Just like she let everything else go around here.

Throwing the door to her cabin open, she found the place a mess. The mattress was flipped over and the bedding was flung aside, all of her things were scattered around the wooden floor, and the tourniquets she had made thus far were piled in the toilet bowel. Lucy stood there staring in disbelief as tears came to her eyes. He had even found the discrete black canvas sack she used to store her feminine napkins as it had been upended on the floor. Falling to her knees Lucy saw that some of them were dirty with muddy boot prints. Tears came to her eyes, over pads of all things, but still they weren't something she could just go and get more of at the PX. It would require a trip to town which was nearly impossible since Sobel revoked her weekend pass without fail. Today had been a rotten day and she had to actively fight the urge to sob right then and there. It was ridiculous, it really was, she wanted to go to war and here she was crying over spilled napkins. But still….there was just something about taking fire from those who were on the same side.

Lucy didn't know why Liebgott telling her to go home hurt more than all the others. After all, she had been called much worse, spit on, and downright humiliated. Was it because she had a crush on him? Having a crush on one of these men, especially one who told her to get the hell out, was even more ridiculous than crying over feminine products. Gathering up what she could salvage, Lucy sighed as she set about righting her bunk. She thought more about Liebgott; about what he said and especially about how he said it. It wasn't his words the hurt, or the way he looked at her, or the fact that he hadn't given her a chance at all. It was the way he said it, the tone of his voice and the unsure wavering behind it.

'Go home Lucy Bennett, before you get yourself and the rest of us killed.'

It was like he didn't want to say the words but he couldn't stop his mouth from moving. Like he doubted them even before they formed on his lips. And yet he still said them, forced them out before they jammed in his throat. She was a liability because she was a woman, couldn't protect herself and in turn their efforts to keep her safe would result in needless casualty. Had he said the words with any malice behind them, maybe she would have just written him off as another asshole. But he didn't, and the emotion in his voice told her one thing.

She was good. She knew what she was doing. If only she was a man….

It made her angry, almost as angry as Sink telling her to head off with the rest of the woman to the hospital. Fishing the tourniquets from the toilet Lucy carefully hung up over the towel rack, placing her one and only towel beneath them to catch the run off. Gathering her clothing she wiped her face furiously, refusing to feel sorry for herself any longer. She was here to do a job and it didn't matter what anyone thought. She wasn't a man, that was for certain, and never in her life had she been more sorry that she wasn't born with more between her legs. But she wasn't going to let that stop her, she was here for a reason and she was going to see this all the way through.

By the time Lucy got to the mess hall the lunch hour was in full swing as she was met with more than a few hard stares and not a seat to be had. She hardly ever sat inside and when she did the table usually cleared out on either side. She didn't have the strength for it today and bypassing the mystery meat and potato slop, she opted for a pre made bologna sandwich and orange. Taking her meager selection, she walked back out of the building and into the warm sun. There was a tall maple tree nearby and seeing her favorite place deserted she sprawled out in the shade unwrapping the wax paper and taking her first bite.

"Afternoon soldier." She almost choked as Lt. Winters appeared in front of her. He was alone, which was strange because the dark haired fellow, Nixon, was almost always by his side. Scrambling to her feet, Lucy quickly came to stand at attention before the Officer.

"Yes, Sir. Afternoon, Sir." A smirk came to Winters face as she noticed his own posture was relaxed and casual.

"At ease, Bennett." Lucy smile and nodded falling into a more casual posture with her hands clasped behind her back. No matter how cordial his demeanor, he still outranked her and the last thing she needed was the Officers out for her like the men were. Winters looked her over for a moment before nodding.

"You've been doing quite well." Wait…what? Lucy swallowed hard, there had to be a but coming. Perhaps the Army had sent someone friendly to take her to the washout bus home; one final trick before she left. "And command thinks it's time for you to start your medic training." Lucy nodded slowly not quite believing her ears. "Also Captain Sobel has requested that you join the Company tonight on the Friday night march." Lucy felt dread begin to creep back in, if Sobel wanted her to do something there had to be a catch.

Lucy nodded not having much option but to say, "Thank you, Sir." With that Winters nodded his head toward the Medic Tent. Her lunch on the ground all but forgotten she eagerly followed the tall red head across the parade grounds and into another makeshift cabin that looked the same as all the others save for the red cross hanging over the door. A fan blew inside and as soon as she stepped through the screen door she was met with a cool breeze. Her stomach flopped as a thin dark hair man stepped out from behind a curtain. She had seen him before although she didn't know his name, just knew that he mostly kept to himself.

"Doc Roe….this is Lucy Bennett; she's here to begin her medical training." Lucy's ears perked up, this guy was a doctor ? The man stood at attention before Winters offering him the barest of nods.

"Yes sir." Southern, cajun perhaps- a dialect all it's own. Winters turned with a nod satisfied that he had done his duty and delivered her to the next step in her training to become a paratrooper. He knew that Lucy Bennett was a nurse and most likely could teach the rest of them a thing or two, but still she had to learn the Army way of doing things. Before Winters could safely exit the tent the door flew back open as the dynamic duo of Muck and Malarkey burst in. Not realizing that an Officer was present they nearly fell over top of themselves to salute.

"Sorry Sir…We didn't know you were in here." Winters offered them a smile and nod as his attention was drawn to Muck's bleeding hand which was now dripping down the front of his face.

"What happened to your hand, private ?" Muck shrugged breaking the salute as he tried to stop the bleeding with the front of his shirt.

"I was cleaning the showers Sir and I didn't realize one of the mirrors had a sharp edge." Winters nodded, satisfied with the explanation. Without realizing it he gestured toward Doc Roe but before the young Cajun could make a move Lucy stepped in front of him instinctively taking Skip's hand and holding between her own, stopping the bleeding and leading him toward one of the cots. It was only when he was sitting down that she realized what she just done. Looking between Roe and Winters her face turned three shades of red.

"I'm sorry…Doc….would you rather?" Fuck she'd just cut off the doctor in the first five minute of being in the medical tent. Roe held up a hand and offered a small smile.

"You're welcome to it. These two are in here at least once a week." Malarkey turned around from where he was standing next to Skip. Pretending to be annoyed he narrowed his eyes at Roe.

"Just making sure you get enough practice before you know….it actually counts…" Roe smirked before going back to whatever he had been doing before they walked in. Offering a light laugh Winters exited the cabin throwing over his shoulder as he went.

"Looks like you're in good hands, Muck." Lucy immediately turned her attention back to her patient not only because this was the first test of her medical skills but also because it was safe…it was what she knew. Unclasping her hands from around his she inadvertently made eye contact with him as their faces were just a few inches away.

"I know I am Lieutenant…" He said it only loud enough for her to hear. Lucy held his gaze for a moment before the corners of her lips twitched up slightly. She couldn't have picked a better man to have as her first patient. Taking a deep breath she gently set about examining his finger.

"Malarkey, would you pull that light over here for me?" The red head did as he was told wheeling a portable exam light over and plugging it in. The medical tent was one of the few buildings in the camp that had power and right now Lucy was glad for it. All the anger and drama of this morning faded away as she thanked God that there was finally something she could do right around here. Skip winced as she pulled the cut apart seeing a shining piece of glass in the light.

"See that…you have a piece of the mirror in your finger." Malarkey leaned over next to her trying to get a look for himself.

"I don't see anything." Muck let out a wry laugh.

"That's why you're not a medic, dumbass." Malarkey pretended to be hurt before giving the wound another once over just to make sure he didn't miss anything.

Letting Skip's hand go she went to the cabinet already knowing what she needed just not sure where to find it yet. Thankfully Roe appeared beside her nodding toward the supplies. He knew exactly where everything was stored as he and another soldier named Spina had all but constructed the place. Lucy took the supplies as she offered him a sheepish grin. "Are you sure that you don't want to do the stitches ? I mean you're a doctor so you've probably done more than me…" Roe stared at her, his face completely blank.

A hoot of laughter from Malarkey was the first to break the silence, "That's a good one, Lucy." He actually called her by her first name and just hearing it come from his mouth was jarring. "He's no doctor. Just a nickname since he's the medic." She looked back to Roe who shrugged his shoulders not offering a rebuttal. "You know, kind of like how they call me Private Bullshit." Both Malarkey and Muck broke out into a fit of laughter as Lucy felt certifiable stupid in that moment.

Turning back to Roe she questioned, "What did you do before this?" Pulling a cigarette out he lit it blowing the smoke away from her face.

"Was in construction, ma'am." Well there you have it. A smile spread across her face as she nodded.

"Then I'm sure we will learn a lot from each other." On that day neither of them could have known just how much they would grow to need each other during some of the darkest days of their lives. For now, though, the ice had been broken and Lucy felt a glimmer of hope that she finally arrived at where she always belonged.

Turning back to her patient she shooed Malarkey away as it was time to get down to business. "Why do they call you Private Bullshit ?" The red head stared at her incredulously

"My name, Malarkey….slang for Bullshit." Skip winced as she used a pair of tweezers to pull the glass out of his flesh.

"Sobel gave him that nickname.." Muck said through clenched teeth. They all collectively groaned at the just mention of Captain douchebag. "Hey that was nice work today….with Liebgott asking if he could still fight. No way Sobel saw that one coming." Lucy ducked her head, not comfortable with the praise when her standing here was still so uncertain.

"Yeah, where'd you learn that ?" Malarkey sat down next to his friend on the bed. Lucy was taking her time cleaning out Skip's finger, making sure that no dirt or debris was left behind before she started suturing him up. She was quiet for a moment before she replied.

"A doctor I worked with in San Francisco, he taught me a few things before I left. He was a vet from The Great War." Malarkey groaned

"I'm glad it's not like that anymore in those goddamn smelly trenches for months at a time with the rats nibbling on you as you slept."

"Jesus, Don." Muck shook his head. "Nobody knows what we're going to find once we get over there." That was true, just because tactics had changed didn't mean that they would't still find them in a fetid hole being eaten by rats. Lucy had quickly learned that these two could take a conversation and run away with it if they wanted, bantering back and forth endlessly.

"You said a doctor in San Francisco…were you a nurse ?" Roe came to stand beside them, one foot on the cot as he eyed her curiously. Lucy nodded slowly, it was no surprise to her that the men had been told nothing about her. Command Staff leaving the men to their own imaginations was ingenious. They could't be held accountable, and any ill will was of the men's own making entirely.

"Yeah I was nurse for a few years. The doctor I worked with, though, he wanted to start field medic program where care goes out into the streets. So then I became a medic, caring for people out in the city." The three men stared at her never having heard of such a thing. Satisfied that Muck's finger was clean enough, she brought a stool over and began to prepare the sutures. "If someone got hurt, like run over by a street car, somebody would go to a local business and use the phone, if they had one, and call the hospital emergency number. Myself and the doctor would go get the injured then and treat them on site as well as on the way to the hospital."

Roe looked at her in amazement, Muck donned a look of pride, and Malarkey's face screwed up still trying to understand the whole thing. "So wait a minute…you went out into the street and drug someone out from under a street car and patched them up and then took them the hospital?" Lucy nodded slowly. "You and the old doctor did this ?" She shrugged.

"Sometimes I did it by myself too. Just depended on how busy the hospital was. Seeing what I saw made me realize that the tourniquet was needed and it would save people from bleeding to death."

The three of them could see the realization come over Malarkey's face, "You mean to tell me you drug a grown man out from under a street car by yourself, fixed him up, and got him to the hospital and worked on him some more ?" Lucy thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"Yes. That's the only reason I was given a chance here, because of what I had done back home."

"Does Sobel know about all this?" She shrugged she didn't really know or care if Sink had seen fit to give him a run down on her qualifications.

"I don't know…probably." What did it matter? He thought she was useless and pathetic and was looking for the first chance he had to get her the fuck out of here. Lucy hoped that twenty questions with Don Malarkey was over so that she could concentrate on what she had to do.

"Forget Sobel, you belong here, Lucy." A genuine smile spread across her face as she met Roe's intense gaze. "And I'll do whatever I can to help you…if you'll do the same for me."

"You didn't even need to ask." He gave her a clipped nod as she turned back to her patient. "Are you ready for this ?"

She pulled up a stool so that her hand would be steady. Skip met her gaze as he offered her a nod. "I'm ready. I trust you." That gave her pause, enough pause that she felt a ball of emotion well up in her throat. A small metal table separated them as she looked away, her free hand shielding her eyes for a moment. Underneath the table he nudged her foot causing her to look back up at him. "One day, Lucy Bennett, we're all going to owe our lives to you."

It took a monumental effort to sew his finger back together without breaking down into a mess of tears. The relief that three people had her back here now was something she could not measure. Three friends in one day, one of them another medic. Lucy was walking on air as she left the medical tent in the late afternoon sun. Tonight was the Friday March and Winters had ordered her to be there; twelve miles with a full pack in the pitch dark. Malarkey and company had filled her in. She wanted to clean herself up and get some rest before that happened. Looking down at her hands he realized they were still stained with Skip's blood. Foolishly she made a wish in that moment that it would be the last time his blood would ever be on her hands.

San Francisco

1945

It was Mid-November but the weather was still nice and the afternoons were warm. Lucy stood up bending backwards to stretch out her back as she looked down at her hands. They were covered in blood, as usual, another sailor coming home from the Pacific had gotten his face beat in last night at a bar. Carney had just finished suturing him up and the man was thankfully asleep. Turning the water on, she watched as the blood came off her skin and swirled against the white porcelain. As it disappeared down the drain, so did her memories of the last two hours. She didn't care to remember anything about her patients anymore, didn't want to know their names, or see their faces. She was tired; physically and mentally, and for the first time in her life she wondered if maybe she should give this up and do something else…anything else.

Looking up, she saw that it was fifteen minutes till noon. He wouldn't be there, she knew that much, but still she couldn't stop herself from going. She went everyday, right at noon, which was sometimes difficult if the hospital was busy. But still she always found a way. Today was slow and she had already made arrangements with another nurse, Dorothy, earlier in the shift. Taking her cape from the hook, Lucy latched the navy blue wool over her shoulders and walked out into the street. Golden Gate Park was only a few blocks from the hospital as she walked in silence. Her grey eyes had dimmed and didn't hold the same life they once did but she was still alive all the same and for that she knew she should be thankful.

She always went to the same bench and waited looking at the same tree and the same flower bed. She sat there for thirty minutes exactly each and every day, rain or shine. And in the five months since she had gotten home, he hadn't shown up once. Even an appearance to tell her that he had changed and his mind and found a nice Jewish girl with great big titties would have been better than this. At least she would know then, and she could stop coming and holding out foolish hope. Taking the same cursory glance around the park that she did every other day, Lucy sat down seeing that, like usual, she was alone. She thought she scrubbed her hands clean but now, on closer inspection, she saw that there was still blood under her nails. Had it gotten under there just today or had it been there since January and she just hadn't noticed in all this time….

Standing there staring at that smoking crater in the earth she was taken back to one of her first days at Toccoa. When she was still foolish and naive beyond all hope, when she thought suturing a man's finger would be the last time her hands would be covered in his blood. How unbelievably stupid. She was barely aware of the world around her as she knelt down next to a piece of someone who had become the best friend she ever had. A good and kind man who had his whole life ahead of him. A girl waiting back home and a family that needed him. A person who didn't deserved to die, especially not like this.

She heard someone throwing up, another cursing the war and everything about it, a few more murmuring softly and doing their best to hold back tears. But Lucy just stood there and stared, completely dumbfounded that this had actually happened. Kneeling down, she hesitantly reached out touching what was left of him. He was still warm against her freezing cold palm as she stared at her now blood covered hand.

She swore on that day so long ago, that when he told her that he trusted her and one day they would all owe their lives to her, that she would do everything in her power to never have his blood on her hands again. And she hadn't, for the whole war until this moment now, he never got scratch on him. That was why it was so surreal. But still there was blood on her hand, it was real, and she couldn't deny that. Shooting to her feet something inside of her snapped as she took off running.

She heard Joe behind her somewhere calling her name but she didn't stop. Falling to her knees in a ticket of trees far behind the line she rubbed her palm furiously against the snow and ice trying to make that red stain disappear. Her own flesh ripped and abraded as her effort were completely futile. Closing her eyes she let out a blood curdling scream.

Lucy jerked as she opened her eyes. She wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep or has simply just daydreamed the whole thing. It was hard to tell as that moment was on her mind nearly every second of the day. Well that moment and a slew of others. It wasn't as bad when she was still with the men, but now that she was home it was all she thought about. The men she hadn't been able to save. Sighing she glanced at her watch, thirty minutes as usual and no sign of him. She had to get back to work.

Joe sat in the cab across the street from Golden Gate Park as he always did this time of day. Any fare that needed to go someplace at noon could fuck right off as far as he was concerned. Some days he saw her, some days he didn't. His eyes wandered the street and then came to rest on a familiar figure in a white nurse's uniform with a navy cape over her shoulders. She looked so feminine out of her ODs that if he didn't know better he would say there was no way a woman like her had ever gone to war. But she had been, that was for sure, right beside him the entire time all the way to the sad end. Subconsciously he slid his fingers under his shirt sleeve and fingered a raised mark on his right forearm. He'd never be able to wear short sleeves again after what those pricks did to him.

Looking back up he saw her dark hair pulled into a tight bun and he wondered if her gray eyes were still as bright and clear as he remembered them. While they were over there, in some God forsaken foxhole he had told her looking into her eyes was like looking at home. The words carried a variety of meanings but most literally he meant the color was like looking out at the bay on another impossibly foggy day. She stared at him and smiled before throwing an elbow into his midsection and then teased him for being such a sap.

Pulling his fingers away he felt like a dick for even pitying himself right now. A scar on his arm, no matter how heinous and disgusting it was, was nothing compared to what they did to her. Pinned against the wall, with two of them on top of her, that same dark hair was tangled and wild, mixed with blood and sweat as she fought them tooth and nail. And he could do nothing to stop it, nothing to help her, and worst of all he was the blame. They didn't need to be here; they had survived everything and this was his stupid idea…his stupid vendetta. Just couldn't let it go. She was the only person who mattered to him and look at how he treated that trust. Shit all over it, really just gave it all a big fuck you.

And that was why he never got out of the cab, never went inside and never kept his promise to meet her in Golden Gate Park. She could do better than him and as he sat here everyday at noon he prayed that one day she would just give up and stop coming. He prayed that Lucy Bennett would just forget all about him, the war, and everything that happened in the last three years.

TBC…

Thanks to anyone who is still reading. I am going to keep writing this story and I apologize for the lapse in updates. Please review and let me know what you think. !